Project. The Epic of Emiya Shirou [Fate/Stay Night x Prince of Persia]

[LightofPurgeandShadowofEmbrace]

Here is another idea for a fanfic.

The Plot
Alternative ending of the Fate Route where the elements of Heaven's Feel strike in the worst possible way. To give a brief summary:

• Just after Shirou defeats Kotomine and prepares to meet Saber... True Assassin strikes, wounding him badly. Zouken appears and mocks him
• Saber returns to help Shirou and gives him Avalon to ensure he heals properly. Then she fights True Assassin, but the Shadow also appears and ensures her defeat. She kills herself before accepting an unknown fate to the corruption.
• Zouken reveals Sakura and her relation to the Shadow and the Grail, while Shirous is basically smacked in the face with Saber's death and his friend's tragedy. When Zouken is about to order the death of Shirou, a last character appears to save him...Rider. Zouken is surprised, Sakura rebels in her own way and Zouken and True Assassin are killed.
• Sakura tells Shirou about here feelings and shows how bad the awakening of Angra Mainyu has affected her. Wishing for him to live as her last wish as Sakura, she bides him goodbye and orders Rider with her last command spell to drag him out of Ryuudo and protect him. He is knocked out.
• Shirou wakes up not too long and witnesses the release of the Grail. The Grail is no longer just a black mud of corruption or The Shadow, taking its true form as Ahriman, the Destructive Spirit. What happens is a mix of destruction, death and corruption, with the latter creating the monsters seen in Prince of Persia 2008. Shirou tries to fight the darkness and save as many as he can but it proves to be a lost battle. Rider uses her Pegasus and takes them both outside Fuyuki, just in time.

Ahriman (Angra Mainyu) from Prince of Persia 2008.

• When Shirou is able to return to Fuyuki, and Rider is gone, he is faced with the Aftermath. Fuyuki City is gone, nobody is left alive including the people closest to him.
  He breaks, badly.

So this Emiya Shirou is as strong as Fate Shirou and retains the same naivety regarding his ideals, until all mentioned above happens. It is a very serious rude awakening, that forces him to rethink about his approach to the Holy Grail War and the way he behaved, ignorant of what those closest to him suffered and ignorant of the true nature of his relatinship with others. Yet, as broken as he is now, the only option seems to be following his dream by drowning himself in endless conflicts until death. There is also the matter of the world falling into a true catastrophe as a result of Angra Mainyu, even if he was stopped from unleashing more chaos by the Counterforce.

But then he is offered another chance, courtesy of Zelretch. Time Travel.
And Shirou is cheated into using ta particular way of time traveling... and ends up in Ancient Persia.

It is the beginning of his quest to find his way back into the present, as well as preventing all that he considers was his failure frome ever happening, and ensuring that the countless deaths under Angra mainyu and under his obliviousness would not happen.

The Arcs

• Prologue: Broken Sword of Justice
• Solomon's Legacy (Forgotten Sands XOBX 360)
• Interlude: All the World's Goodness
• The Lost Kingdom (Fogotten Sands Wii)
• Guardian of Fate (Shirou's version of Warrior Within... yes the Dahaka is alive)
• Coming-Back Interlude: The Roots of Fate (he returns, but only some months before the HGW 4)
• The Holy Grail War
• Epilogue:

Warnings...
Althoug it starts with an alternative ending for the Fate Route... this is going to be an HAREM ROUTE. The only original heroine being Saber (Arturia/Altria)

Not exaclty OP as fuck but take into account that if I start writing this, Shirou is going to have some years to better understand his abilities (still no UBW) and he will also gain some power-ups along his journey. To be more precise;

• Djinn Powers( Temporal and will be gone for a while). This includes magic related to Earth, Fire, Ice and Wind, though not super powerful. Ah and the ability to rewind time and freeze water in time.
• Powers given by Zahra, the genie (temporal, do not recover). Sand Magic manipulation, nice sword, and time magic.
• Amulet Of Time. Manipulation of the Sands of Time. (Optional)
• The Mask of the Wraith. It allows you to go back in time to the same timeline and period as your other self and interact with the world. It cannot be removed until the original self dies. Gives slow but unlimited regeneration of of the Sands of Time, at the cost of life in game. Will be replacing the last one with something else, still related to healt or life expectancy (no it is not going to drain his life to the point of making him weak to a single strike)

On a last note, I am planing to bring an special Servant for the Remake of the Fourth Holy Grail War. Braids.

Well that is the whole idea. Hope you can give me your comments about it, especially how to properly balance with the Nasuverse.

[Christemo]

A harem, mass power ups, unironic Zelretch-ing, time-travel, ignoring relatively obvious plot holes (you say this is post-Fate route, yet you have Rider, who gets killed earlier in the route, show up, not even to mention the appearance of Hassan which basically can't happen in the Fate route), ungodly fucking long, and I could go on.

You'll have to excuse if I come off as rude in saying that nothing about this sounds interesting from your draft. Its full of tried and utterly squeezed-dry tropes, things like lolZelretch and harems that have proven to never be interesting in anything ever (and I'll be glad to explain why), and honestly from the outlet just seems like another power fantasy that fails to entertain anyone but the kinds of people who can unironically like that kind of awfulness.

What I'm trying to say and ask, and again I apologize if I come off as insulting or rude, that's not my intention, here is; Why is your story different?

[LightofPurgeandShadowofEmbrace]

A harem, mass power ups, unironic Zelretch-ing, time-travel, ignoring relatively obvious plot holes (you say this is post-Fate route, yet you have Rider, who gets killed earlier in the route, show up, not even to mention the appearance of Hassan which basically can't happen in the Fate route), ungodly fucking long, and I could go on.

You'll have to excuse if I come off as rude in saying that nothing about this sounds interesting from your draft. Its full of tried and utterly squeezed-dry tropes, things like lolZelretch and harems that have proven to never be interesting in anything ever (and I'll be glad to explain why), and honestly from the outlet just seems like another power fantasy that fails to entertain anyone but the kinds of people who can unironically like that kind of awfulness.

What I'm trying to say and ask, and again I apologize if I come off as insulting or rude, that's not my intention, here is; Why is your story different?

No worries, I dont think you are being rude. In fact I thank you for giving your opinion so soon. Ater reading the complains about Third Fang's From Fake Dreams, I kind of get how difficult it can be to please readers with a story like this, especially those who take the Type-Moon Lore very seriously.

Yes there are many plotholes that need to be taken care of.

I was not planning to put Zeltretch in this at all at first, so I can make something else, like Shirou finding the Isle of Time on his own.

The Power-ups can be reduced, by taking out the Amulet and losing the Djinn Powers permanently after defeating Ratash at the end of Solomo's Legacy. As for the Mask, it is supposed to be a way to exist in his actual timeline without being considered an anomaly and erased. If you disagree with this please elaborate.

For Rider surviving it was just a way to get Shirou out of Ryudo while Sakura falls. And then out of the city. But well that can be also changed.

This is an alternate Fate Route. Sakura barely makes an appearance in this one, and Zouken could play with her feelings and guilt in order to drive her into falling prey to the corruption. It also allows to have True Assassin as Kojirou was killed by an unknown (Gilgamesh according to HA). Agains, complains and critics are received, but please also give suggestions.

I'm not exactly trying to be original in regards of themes like harem or time travel. Yes, they have been used many times, and having a sole heroine usually works better for character development and good plot. So i suppose I should reveal my idea regarding this.

Shirou lost Saber like in Heaven's Feel, only in front of his eyes and with no command spells to save her (lost his hand and a part of his arm to surprise attack). This is one of the drives in is quest to change things while trappped in Ancient Persia. However, while traveling there he also saves another person: the princess from Forgotten Sands Wii. I thought it was a very interesting event to not include, though I suppose it could be taken out. As for romance with the princess, it was a possibility, though not necessary.

Maybe you would prefer if Shirou focuses only in going back?

But the other female character that could become a romantic interest is a guilty pleasure of mine. I'm not saying that everyone jumps into the BAR, or that Shirou can just accept anyone after falling for Saber and probably meeting her again if he arrives at the Fourth HGW . But I want to try this, so... Two heroines instead of harem is better? (it is Joan of Arc by the way).

As for the Dahaka... well that is one of the hard parts. In Warrior Within it was killed in the True Ending with the use of the Water Sword, and then falling to the Sea bellow. That thing is basically a prototype version of the Counter Guardians, only more talkative, less overpowered and actually mortal. And it was killed during the Age of Gods, where the influence of Alaya was weaker. But I think I can find a way for it to survive and start annoying Shirou. I want to put the Dahaka into the story because it represents the struggle against one's Fate and one of the biggest obstacle that SHirou could find if he wants to actually alter history.

Yes I know that it was implied that if something like the Fifth Magic were to attempt something like this, the Root would hunt you down or something. That is where the Mask of the Wraith comes into play.

Tell me if you have more to talk about. It is still on development.

- - - Updated - - -

The matter of lenght.. Crap.

[Christemo]

No worries, I dont think you are being rude. In fact I thank you for giving your opinion so soon. Ater reading the complains about Third Fang's From Fake Dreams, I kind of get how difficult it can be to please readers with a story like this, especially those who take the Type-Moon Lore very seriously.

I think "very seriously" is the wrong term here but you seem to have the basic gist of it. Basically, completely ignoring the rules of the universe you're trying to cross over with in order to make it Crossover Power Fantasy #3413214352523513 that only resembles a dry husk of both the settings it comes from is, to put it mildly, undesirable. If you want to write a setting then please like, actually write the setting. Third Fang and Gabriel Blessing are some of the worst at this because the former treats everything like Naruto and just piles on infinite powerups without any idea if they work in-setting or not, and the latter writes something similar, but also transforms any protagonist he writes into a bloodthirsty two-dimensional homicidal maniac and then tries to make him out as a purely good guy with no character faults, completely ignoring any figment of what was once the protagonist (in In Flight's case, Shirou, or as he's better known, SINO (Shirou In Name Only)) to shove in his vision of them.

To put it shortly, what people don't like is not neccesarily diverting from the setting, it's to mangle the setting so utterly that you can't even call what remains "Fate/Stay Night"

I was not planning to put Zeltretch in this at all at first, so I can make something else, like Shirou finding the Isle of Time on his own.

If you want an easier excuse that wouldn't make every reader worth having cringe, consider looking into the setting. There are specifically still "unexplored lands" in the world where things like Monstrous Beasts appear, so you could use that to justify the Isle of Time's existence.

The Power-ups can be reduced, by taking out the Amulet and losing the Djinn Powers permanently after defeating Ratash at the end of Solomo's Legacy. As for the Mask, it is supposed to be a way to exist in his actual timeline without being considered an anomaly and erased. If you disagree with this please elaborate.

While I disagree on the very basis of shoving an entire franchise's worth of powerups into any character, what kind of makes Shirou interesting is that he already has a fairly locked powerset that allows for diversity. Unlimited Blade Works is something Shirou will eventually be able to use (if extremely poorly due to the fact that he doesn't have the prana for a Reality Marble), and even without it proper, he could use some level of projection.

If you absolutely insist on introducing Prince of Persia elements, I'd honestly just keep it to the Dagger of Time from Sands of Time, or pick a single thing from your list that would be the most thematically appropriate.

I'm not exactly trying to be original in regards of themes like harem or time travel. Yes, they have been used many times, and having a sole heroine usually works better for character development and good plot. So i suppose I should reveal my idea regarding this.

Shirou lost Saber like in Heaven's Feel, only in front of his eyes and with no command spells to save her (lost his hand and a part of his arm to surprise attack). This is one of the drives in is quest to change things while trappped in Ancient Persia. However, while traveling there he also saves another person: the princess from Forgotten Sands Wii. I thought it was a very interesting event to not include, though I suppose it could be taken out. As for romance with the princess, it was a possibility, though not necessary.

The problem with the harem thing is that for a serious story, and especially one where love is supposed to be present, having multiple partners is just... bad. Like inexplicably bad. If he is supposed to love Saber and want her back, why would he bang a Persian princess on the side? It goes in with the power fantasy thing of "Watch as this super-amazing awesome guy who does nothing wrong gains infinite power ups and has 2-20 women and everyone he meets want to jump on his dick", which uh, makes for an awful, conflict-less story.

Maybe you would prefer if Shirou focuses only in going back?

Shirou wanting to set things "right" by going back and trying over would be at least half-decent, yeah. It would also contrast nicely with UBW Shirou, whose whole thing is that he will march on through anything without regrets to not become Archer.

But the other female character that could become a romantic interest is a guilty pleasure of mine. I'm not saying that everyone jumps into the BAR, or that Shirou can just accept anyone after falling for Saber and probably meeting her again if he arrives at the Fourth HGW . But I want to try this, so... Two heroines instead of harem is better? (it is Joan of Arc by the way).

As I said about, I don't see how it changes the problem if it's "only" two.

And it was killed during the Age of Gods, where the influence of Alaya was weaker.

I don't know where you got this from but that's not how Alaya works.

Yes I know that it was implied that if something like the Fifth Magic were to attempt something like this, the Root would hunt you down or something. That is where the Mask of the Wraith comes into play.

Please don't actually try to introduce the True Magics. They're a massive dark zone in Nasu's setting right now because the only work that prominently features one of them is not only untranslated but so vague that you wouldn't believe it. The hunting down thing is completely unexplained, all we know is soms "red shade" follows Aoko around before she acquires the Fifth.

[LightofPurgeandShadowofEmbrace]

So you are telling me that Alaya could send a Guardian even in the Age of Gods to purge dangerous situations? Well, that sucks. I don't remember where I read that, but I thought that the closer to the Age of Gods, the weaker the influence of Alaya; fewer more powerful humans, but the hold on thw World was disputed by many Divine Spirits, Gods and whatever.

The deal with the Artifacts of Time is that they allow to actually alter the records of history or the ability to do so.
The Time Portals in the Isle allow to move between past and present in a particular timeline.
The Mask of the Wraith allows you to exist at the same time as your original self, slowly draining life and regenerating sands of time while used.
The Dagger of Time gives a bunch of abilities related to the sands and time manipulation on a lesser scale, and refills by kiling sand monsters; when fully loaded and used on the Hourglass, you can rewind time to a particular point (maybe months, or according to the amount of sand). But it was destroyed at the end of The Two Thrones by Kaileena, The Empress of Time herself.
Finally, The Amulet works akin to the Dagger, with some extra abilities, and without the Super Rewind. The one the Prince used was thrown in the sea, but the location of the one of the new timeline is unknown.

The first two and the Dagger are not exactly the Fifth Magic (whatever the hell it actually is) but they deal with time manipulation and playing with Fate. The Prince basically fucked up the Original Records of his Timeline twice. After the first one, everything was fixed but he was fated to die at the hands of the Dahaka because he released the Sands of Time. The Second Time, he freed himself but cursed Kaileena, as she did not belong to his timeline. Dahaka tries to kill her, Prince kills it instead with the Water Sword. The disaster with the Sands still happens, but in his home.

So if I tried to mix the two worlds, could the Sands of Time be a key to actually time travel? Or it messes too much with the rules of the Nasuverse?
The Dahaka could not be exaclty a creature of the Counterforce, but more likely something directly related to the Sands and their use. Otherwise, Prince still died in the end and Shirou would have an unstoppable fan for the rest of his probably short life.

I suppose I can give up on the princess as a love interest, and Joan is not exactly crucial to the plot. But I am still not sure about this.

I can reduce the permanent powerups to the Amulet and the Mask... or just the Mask. They are needed in his journey, as well as to face Gilgamesh. No Reality Marble at hand means either Shirou has enough Prana to break a couple of NP's to block the rain of GOB (and I'm not sure it could work) or h overwhelms Gil with a ridicukous OP power rivaling Enuma Elish (or using Karna's Spear).

Liked your comment about how this Shirou could be considered the opposite of UBW. He is basically the Shirou with the least resolution about his ideal, who is shown in a terrible way how powerless and ignorant he was. His commitment to change Fate comes from how bad he broke and how the world is turning out to be. Or maybe an accident while fighting some very powerful monster that was close to the Time Portal in the Island.

As for the deal with Zouken and TA and of course Avenger. I don't know why Zouken is necesarilly non existent in the Fate Route; sure in the game it would have ruined the surprise for Heaven's Feel, but if you take them as possibilities it should be possible to imagine a route where he decided that after Rider's death there was still a card to play. TA is more like a bonus to manage to overcome Saber. Avanger as the faceless dude that was turned into Angra Mainyu has actually evolved into the Destructive Spirit because the ritual was techically completed, except for making a wish.

[Christemo]

So you are telling me that Alaya could send a Guardian even in the Age of Gods to purge dangerous situations? Well, that sucks. I don't remember where I read that, but I thought that the closer to the Age of Gods, the weaker the influence of Alaya; fewer more poerful humans, but the hold on thw World was disputed by many Divine Spirits, Gods and whatever.

The influence was not weaker, the world simply operated under different rules before calendar change.

[Arashi_Leonhart]

So you are telling me that Alaya could send a Guardian even in the Age of Gods to purge dangerous situations?

It gets lost in the whole "and here I am killing ISIS" but ep 19 of UBW shows Archer taking out Roman soldiers. Borderline, but the Age of Gods influence was still around.

It's great, the city is burning, you can imagine they're referencing the burning of Rome, so somewhere else Red Saber is blowing people's eardrums out with her singing in that scene.

[LightofPurgeandShadowofEmbrace]

It gets lost in the whole "and here I am killing ISIS" but ep 19 of UBW shows Archer taking out Roman soldiers. Borderline, but the Age of Gods influence was still around.

It's great, the city is burning, you can imagine they're referencing the burning of Rome, so somewhere else Red Saber is blowing people's eardrums out with her singing in that scene.

Hahaha. lol, Red Saber using her forbiddens strongest NP alongside Elizbeth Barthory.

It's nice to see another person taking a look at this idea. So, do you think the existence of the Artifacts of Time and the Dahaka is possible in the Nasuverse?

[Christemo]

overwhelms Gil with a ridicukous OP power rivaling Enuma Elish (or using Karna's Spear).

Also I feel this needs addressing: Gil makes for a generally poor villain in fanfic because either the author makes a bashfic out of him, or he only becomes beatable through massive bullshit (Like say, a massive fat stack of protagonist powerups and his own misbehavior). I personally feel that you could make a far more satisfying battle out of a final confrontation between Kotomine, who stands as the final goalpost between him and the destruction of Angra Mainyu ala what happens in Heaven's Feel.

Oh, and within the context of Nasu works, nothing rivals Enuma Elish, and ignoring that he'd have to see it first, Shirou cannot trace Karna's Vasavi Shakti because it is a Divine Construct, nor would it be able to overcome Enuma Elish.

[forumghost]

Also I feel this needs addressing: Gil makes for a generally poor villain in fanfic because either the author makes a bashfic out of him, or he only becomes beatable through massive bullshit (Like say, a massive fat stack of protagonist powerups and his own misbehavior). I personally feel that you could make a far more satisfying battle out of a final confrontation between Kotomine, who stands as the final goalpost between him and the destruction of Angra Mainyu ala what happens in Heaven's Feel.

Oh, and within the context of Nasu works, nothing rivals Enuma Elish, and ignoring that he'd have to see it first, Shirou cannot trace Karna's Vasavi Shakti because it is a Divine Construct, nor would it be able to overcome Enuma Elish.

So, just like Canon then? (I mean, I agree that Gil is a bad villain due to the level of fellating Nasu gives him but my point stands.)

[Christemo]

Yes, actually? (I am actually in total agreement that Gilgamesh is within the context of F/SN too powerful a character, and his powerlevel in F/Z made far more sense because he was not a character needed to be defeated to resolve the plot)

[forumghost]

Within the context of the Original VN not so much, but Nasu has spent the last 11 years wanking him so hard that he probably had to hire a dump-truck to shift all the Jizz out of his house.

[Christemo]

Within the context of the Original VN not so much

No, my specific problem lies with F/SN and F/HA, every other work since then has either brought problems that he couldn't immediately solve or were not his to solve. In F/SN, he's an overwhelming wall of an antagonist that is simply too powerful for the story he appears in.

[LightofPurgeandShadowofEmbrace]

Ah yes, how I hate overpowered characters in the Nasuverse. There is Gilgamesh, but he can still be defeated somehow. There is also ORT, though he is quite happy sleeping somewhere in South America.
And then there is Archetype Earth, who deserves my hatred. Stupid Super OP character.

Well Gilgamesh is not my actual Final Foe. There is this page somewhere in google, try typing "Fate stay night zoroatrian epic" and you would probably find an interesting analysis. As stated in the beginning of the thread, the greater evil is Ahriman/Angra Mainyu, who this time has the sbility to do shit should the ritual be completed or close to completion... and a vessel at disposal of course. SHirou vs Kotomine would make an interesting play because it would represent Ozmad vs Ahriman, Azura Mazda vs Angra Mainyu. This means Kotomine feels would receive a huge course of exposition and development.

Returning to Gil, Shirou is going to gain a better understanding of his magic, as well as a better control and output; but even by the time he reaches Zero timeline, he cannot use his Reality Marble. That means he has to develop some kind of strategy to counter GOB. That was one of the reasons I wanted to bring Joan, for her EX magic resistance. And the use of the power of the Artifacts of Time, not replacing or making pointless the use of his Projection/Tracing but making up for his lack of triumph card/natural counter.

Leonhart mentioned ISIS, so I have the perfect excuse for time travel. The amount of historical heritage being destroyed by them could release somekind of monster, Shirou fights it and happens to find the Island of Time in the process.

So, anyone has suggestions regarding the Dahaka and the Mask of the Wraith?

[Imperial]

And then there is Archetype Earth, who deserves my hatred. Stupid Super OP character.

Archetype Earth isn't a character so much as a thought experiment. Arc will never achieve that.

[Christemo]

That was one of the reasons I wanted to bring Joan, for her EX magic resistance.

Enuma Elish isn't magic, it's just 3 layers of gravity smashed against each other so hard it creates Genesis. Noble Phantasms, unless the specific one states otherwise, also ignore Magic Resistance. Joan would get shredded by GoB as well in no time, since her flag has a damage capacity and snaps and deals feedback damage to her once it is exceeded.

[LightofPurgeandShadowofEmbrace]

Enuma Elish isn't magic, it's just 3 layers of gravity smashed against each other so hard it creates Genesis. Noble Phantasms, unless the specific one states otherwise, also ignore Magic Resistance.

So it cannot be blocked even with Achilles Cosmos? Damn. At the very least someone finally solved my doubts about Enuma Elish. Still ridiculous.

- - - Updated - - -

Archetype Earth isn't a character so much as a thought experiment. Arc will never achieve that.

Thank The Lord, The Root, the Dark Six, Ctulhu and whatever other deity I can imagine. My other fanfic would be in danger with her on the ride.

[Kirby]

Thank...The Root

it's been a while since i've heard anyone say this

it brings me back

[Christemo]

So it cannot be blocked even with Achilles Cosmos? Damn. At the very least somone finally solved my doubtsbout Enuma Elish. Still ridiculous.

Achilles Cosmos isn't something Shirou would have access to anyway, but no, protecting yourself with a world against an attack that annihilates the world by restoring the world to Genesis is a very bad idea.

The Root, the Dark Six

[LightofPurgeandShadowofEmbrace]

it's been a while since i've heard anyone say this

it brings me back

When I learned about Archetype and saw her On Melty Blood I just got so annoyed. Humanity is already so low on the food chain in the Nasuverse, and having the ability to actually become stronger is something worth of notice. There are lots of restrictions, even if you are a Dead Apostle... and then she comes. Of course I will use that expression if I'm told she is just inside Nasu's sick dreams.

By the way, welcome and nice to meet you.
Are you familiar with the Prince of Persia franchise?