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Thread: La Espada y el Escudo - Somewhat of a Saber poem.

  1. #1
    Inspired Pervert hero's Avatar
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    La Espada y el Escudo - Somewhat of a Saber poem.

    First of all I would like to curse thank all of you who are posting poems in the fanfic section. All of them forced inspired me to write one of my own. Note the original is in spanish, my first language, and it sounds much better that way. But just for you to understand the meaning of the words, I'll be making a rough traslation/english adaptation. Excuse any Engrish you might find.

    Okay, here it goes. It's looooong.


    La Espada y el Escudo - The Sword and the Shield


    Miras al cielo, observas la oscura noche,
    You look up to the sky, and observe the dark night
    a la luna en su velo radiante.
    To see the moon in its radiant veil.
    Te preguntas si sobreviviras,
    You wonder if you will survive,
    si serás lo suficientemente buena.
    If you are good enough for this.
    Esto no es nada más y nada menos.
    This is nothing more and nothing less.
    Una pelea por lo que más quieres.
    A fight for what you most desire.
    Te golpean por todas direcciones,
    You get hit in a every possible direction.
    te gritan y te tiran a un lado.
    They get at you and push you to the ground.


    Pero tú no sueltas tu espada,
    But you don't let go of your sword,
    y te aferras firmemente a tu escudo.
    And you hold on tightly to your shield.
    Te abres paso a través de las palabras,
    You make your way through the words,
    siguiendo el camino que crees más justo.
    Following the path you believe more just.


    Una docena y media de enemigos,
    A dozen and a half enemies,
    contra ti y solo dos amigos.
    Versus you and only two of your friends.
    La sangre no circula por tu cuerpo,
    The blood does not flow through your body,
    dejando a tu mente sin efecto.
    leaving your mind with no effect.


    Corres hacia una pesadilla,
    You run towards a nightmare,
    convencida de que vencerás.
    convinced that victory will be yours.
    En el camino te caes varias veces,
    You fall several times on the way there,
    La razón te pide que te rindas.
    Reason tells you to give up.


    Pero tú no sueltas tu espada,
    But you don't let go of your sword,
    y te aferras firmemente a tu escudo.
    And you hold on tightly to your shield.
    Te abres paso a través de las palabras,
    You make your way through the words,
    siguiendo el camino que crees más justo.
    Following the path you believe more just.


    Aún no te das cuenta de que yo,
    You haven't realized yet that,
    soy tu espada y a la vez tu escudo.
    I'm both your shield and your sword.
    Dejame terminar esta batalla a tu lado,
    Let me end this battle by your side.
    Concluye lo que hemos empezado.
    What we started concludes now.


    Con tu espada atraviesas la noche,
    With your sword you pierce the night.
    con tu escudo esperas el dia.
    With your shield you endure till the next day.
    El ideal en el que tanto crees,
    The ideal you firmly believe on,
    te renueva y cura tus heridas.
    renews you and heals your wounds.


    La guerrera se desploma en el suelo,
    The knight collapses to the ground,
    junto con su espada y su escudo.
    Along with her Shield and her Sword.
    Se desmaya con una sonrisa,
    She passes out with a smile.
    porque a pesar de todo ella ha vencido.
    Because, after all, she was victorious.


    Una docena y media de enemigos,
    A dozen and a half enemies,
    contra ella y sus amigos.
    Versus her and her two friends.
    Todos ellos han caido,
    All of them have fallen,
    pero solo ella ha vencido.
    but only she was victorious.
    Last edited by hero; June 11th, 2011 at 01:22 PM.
    [18:30] RacingeR: Max S.Link with hero is when you promise your daughter to him
    [18:31] RacingeR: Which means Airen and me are the only ones that maxed it (I promised Spin to him, and Spin is my daughter)
    [18:32] hero: oh shit
    [18:32] hero: spincess get
    [18:32] hero: suck it fuckers

  2. #2
    Don't @ me if your fanfic doesn't even have Shirou/Illya shipping k thnx ItsaRandomUsername's Avatar
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    ........wow.

    It's good. In both languages. I mean, wow.
    McJon01: We all know that the real reason Archer would lose to Rider is because the events of his own Holy Grail War left him with a particular weakness toward "older sister" types.
    My Fanfics. Read 'em. Or not.



  3. #3
    The Royal Chancellor of Avalon Keyne's Avatar
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    It's quite good. Actually, it goes with Saber quite well. She was alone there, with only her sword as her protection. She was always in the vanguard, leading her army from the front, taking the brunt of the enemies' assault, and emerging victorious.

    Also, white poems are getting popular around here. Good. :3

    Edit: Only that last line needs a change from "her" to "she".


  4. #4
    Don't @ me if your fanfic doesn't even have Shirou/Illya shipping k thnx ItsaRandomUsername's Avatar
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    "White Poem?"

    ENGRISH ALERT D:
    McJon01: We all know that the real reason Archer would lose to Rider is because the events of his own Holy Grail War left him with a particular weakness toward "older sister" types.
    My Fanfics. Read 'em. Or not.



  5. #5
    The Royal Chancellor of Avalon Keyne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ItsaRandomUsername View Post
    "White Poem?"

    ENGRISH ALERT D:
    Stfu! >:V


  6. #6
    Don't @ me if your fanfic doesn't even have Shirou/Illya shipping k thnx ItsaRandomUsername's Avatar
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    DEAL WITH IT.JPG

    Sorry for the deail, hero...;^;
    McJon01: We all know that the real reason Archer would lose to Rider is because the events of his own Holy Grail War left him with a particular weakness toward "older sister" types.
    My Fanfics. Read 'em. Or not.



  7. #7
    The Royal Chancellor of Avalon Keyne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ItsaRandomUsername View Post
    DEAL WITH IT.JPG

    Sorry for the deail, hero...;^;
    What's a deail? :3


  8. #8
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six mangafreak7793's Avatar
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    I like it.

    Yet it feels a little sad.


    Teasing the Penguin God!

  9. #9
    The Royal Chancellor of Avalon Keyne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mangafreak7793 View Post
    I like it.

    Yet it feels a little sad.
    Yes, it does.

    The King fights alone. As always.


  10. #10
    Inspired Pervert hero's Avatar
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    Thanks a lot guys.

    I must admit I hesitated with that last line, so I put it into google traslate to see if it was okay... And the bastard said so. Damn you, google traslate! Why do I keep trusting you...!

    And yes, kinda sad. But very... How to say... Glorifying? I liked it myself. All hail the King.
    [18:30] RacingeR: Max S.Link with hero is when you promise your daughter to him
    [18:31] RacingeR: Which means Airen and me are the only ones that maxed it (I promised Spin to him, and Spin is my daughter)
    [18:32] hero: oh shit
    [18:32] hero: spincess get
    [18:32] hero: suck it fuckers

  11. #11
    Zap! Alulim's Avatar
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    Al likes it.
    Everything I say is a lie.
    LIKE A KING


    Quote Originally Posted by Komrade Kwestions View Post
    "It's not gay, it's magecraft!"

  12. #12
    夜属 Nightkin
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    Nice!
    My contributions to the fanfiction melting pot:
    (not so) Shallow Shirou
    Shattered Heaven
    Shatteraxia - currently up to Part 18

    The perils of being distracted by your coworker at the critical moment


  13. #13
    Venus Swordman Ergast's Avatar
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    I usually don't fancy poetry too much, but being in my first language I have read it. It's very good.

    Spoiler:
    Quote Originally Posted by shiningphoenix View Post
    Rin: "I wanted Saber..."
    Archer: "What? But Archers are all insanely OP, it's like a rule or something, why would you think Sabers were better?"
    Rin: "Sabers are more molestable..."
    Quote Originally Posted by Vigilantia View Post
    AC!Rin. Fixing problems one moan at a time.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sage of Eyes View Post
    Denizens of another dimension, meet Rin Tohsaka, Tsundere of Mass Destruction
    Quote Originally Posted by Christemo View Post
    I dont even know what Lunatique is. I assume it's terrible for the sake of argument.

  14. #14
    "To a man with a sense of shame, his word is inviolate." Ivan The Mouse's Avatar
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    Is it me, or did the Spanish version kept her gender ambiguous until the last stanza? I knew very very little of the language, but it sounded like that.

    But like really like it, I tried to sound Spanish in my reading as humanely as possible.



  15. #15
    Pretty good, and I don't even like poetry. Reading some good type moon fanwork in my language is a new experience.

  16. #16
    Venus Swordman Ergast's Avatar
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    @Ivan The Mouse Until "La guerrera" it was ambiguous thanks to the second person point of view. In any case, in the english version it's ambiguous until a bit later too, unless I missed a pronoum. (Also, "La guerrera" isn't the same as "The knight", the literal translation is "The warrior")

    Spoiler:
    Quote Originally Posted by shiningphoenix View Post
    Rin: "I wanted Saber..."
    Archer: "What? But Archers are all insanely OP, it's like a rule or something, why would you think Sabers were better?"
    Rin: "Sabers are more molestable..."
    Quote Originally Posted by Vigilantia View Post
    AC!Rin. Fixing problems one moan at a time.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sage of Eyes View Post
    Denizens of another dimension, meet Rin Tohsaka, Tsundere of Mass Destruction
    Quote Originally Posted by Christemo View Post
    I dont even know what Lunatique is. I assume it's terrible for the sake of argument.

  17. #17
    Inspired Pervert hero's Avatar
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    Is it me, or did the Spanish version kept her gender ambiguous until the last stanza? I knew very very little of the language, but it sounded like that.
    Hmmm, well there was one hint in the first stanza.

    "si serás lo suficientemente buena."

    The last 'a' here means the adjetive refers to a female. Otherwise it would be 'bueno', refering to a male.

    Also, "La guerrera" isn't the same as "The knight", the literal translation is "The warrior"
    That's right. However I felt the word 'Knight' was more fitting for Saber. And so, I adapted it.

    Also, here is the song I used for inspiration.



    I keep using my poem as that song's lyrics lol.
    [18:30] RacingeR: Max S.Link with hero is when you promise your daughter to him
    [18:31] RacingeR: Which means Airen and me are the only ones that maxed it (I promised Spin to him, and Spin is my daughter)
    [18:32] hero: oh shit
    [18:32] hero: spincess get
    [18:32] hero: suck it fuckers

  18. #18
    Venus Swordman Ergast's Avatar
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    F***, I missed that a. That's what happens when you read too fast XD So much for being my first language ^^U

    Anyway, I agree that knight fits Saber better.

    Spoiler:
    Quote Originally Posted by shiningphoenix View Post
    Rin: "I wanted Saber..."
    Archer: "What? But Archers are all insanely OP, it's like a rule or something, why would you think Sabers were better?"
    Rin: "Sabers are more molestable..."
    Quote Originally Posted by Vigilantia View Post
    AC!Rin. Fixing problems one moan at a time.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sage of Eyes View Post
    Denizens of another dimension, meet Rin Tohsaka, Tsundere of Mass Destruction
    Quote Originally Posted by Christemo View Post
    I dont even know what Lunatique is. I assume it's terrible for the sake of argument.

  19. #19
    Inspired Pervert hero's Avatar
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    I already have an idea for a second poem... Well more like a song...

    It would involve a duel between the three heroines for Shirou's heart.

    Should I go for it?
    [18:30] RacingeR: Max S.Link with hero is when you promise your daughter to him
    [18:31] RacingeR: Which means Airen and me are the only ones that maxed it (I promised Spin to him, and Spin is my daughter)
    [18:32] hero: oh shit
    [18:32] hero: spincess get
    [18:32] hero: suck it fuckers

  20. #20
    Venus Swordman Ergast's Avatar
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    Definitely, go for it.

    Spoiler:
    Quote Originally Posted by shiningphoenix View Post
    Rin: "I wanted Saber..."
    Archer: "What? But Archers are all insanely OP, it's like a rule or something, why would you think Sabers were better?"
    Rin: "Sabers are more molestable..."
    Quote Originally Posted by Vigilantia View Post
    AC!Rin. Fixing problems one moan at a time.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sage of Eyes View Post
    Denizens of another dimension, meet Rin Tohsaka, Tsundere of Mass Destruction
    Quote Originally Posted by Christemo View Post
    I dont even know what Lunatique is. I assume it's terrible for the sake of argument.

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