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Thread: Create-A-Servant 2

  1. #6521
    I am new here and I don't usually write in English so this sheet uses a lot of google translate please do not kill me for my mistakes



    Name: Toriyama Sekien (Sano Toyofusa)
    Class: Caster
    Alignment: Neutral good
    Gender: Male
    Source: Historical fact
    Región Japon


    Stats
    * Strength: E
    * Resistance: E
    * Agility: E
    * Mana: A
    * Luck: B
    * Noble Phantasm: EX


    Class skills


    · Item Construction: C
    Is a Caster-class Skill. It is the Skill to manufacture magical items, from implements of war to items for daily use. Also, this Skill requires time to gather components and manufacture items.
    Caster can create several articles that help you draw since paper, ink, brushes, etc.


    · Territory Creation: A
    Is a Caster-class Skill. It is the Skill to build a special terrain that is advantageous to oneself as a magus, such as for the purpose of collecting mana.
    Creation of a 'Temple', which is superior to a 'Workshop', becomes possible




    Personal skills


    · Lover of the supernatural: A


    A great passion for everything that whose explanation escapes this world in the case of Caster his passion focuses more on yokais but another kind of paranormal phenomena could also get their attention
    A mental condition that makes it impossible to forget or ignore even the smallest detail about the paranormal events sighted or heard along with the need to want to find out more about them


    · Spiritual mimicry: A


    Caster did not possess any kind of magic in life however as a servant and through the use of his drawings it is possible to use momentarily some basic yokai skills he has recorded in his books like Witchcraft, Shapeshift, Curses, etc.
    By using this skill it is also possible to create direct yokais of Seiken imagination although these would be nothing more than mere disposable familiars


    · High-Speed Incantation: D
    is the ability to speak magical incantations at an accelerated speed.
    In the case of caster gives a little benefice to speed of drawing and writting


    Noble Phanstams


    The parade of the hundreds of demons of the past and the present: EX


    Toriyama Sekien is a Japanese painter whose fame came to his 60s when he created the Gazu Hyakki Yagyō a book in which he illustrated his representations of different yokais this book was popular enough to have 3 sequels in which he illustrated even more yokais including some originals His work was so popular that his representations ended Becoming in the popular vision that much of japon had about the yokais


    His noble phastam is essentially an extensive book that compiles his 4 most popular works (The Illustrated Demon Horde's Night Parade The Illustrated Demon Horde from Past and Present, Continued More of the Demon Horde from Past and Present to Horde of Haunted Housewares) making use of This book is possible to invoke the illustrated yokais in it, these can be invoked from one or hundreds at a time in a kind of parade when releasing the name of the noble phastam, however all yokais will see their appearance and skills influenced by how Sekien sees them.
    Due to the nature and fame of several yokais some could classify as servants such as Shuten or Tamano no Mae these despite being in the book of Sekien can not be invoked by their noble phastam because they are too powerful to control or invoke them , Although if it were under the effect of bonus of fame to be invoked in Japan the probability of being able to invoke them will be equally low but possible, in any case this only applies to the yokais that can be servants, most of which are in The book could only Sort out for phanstom or phantasmal beast of low category. If a single Yokai is invoked this will not need the energy of Sekien and can be maintained with only the mana of the air but if it has an equivalent to a noble phastam and uses it a small amount of Sekien mana will be drained and the yokai will disappear A few seconds after having used it, if Sekien decides to release the real name of his noble phastam and summons the parade of Yokais none will be able to use its equivalent to noble phastam and will need the mana of Sekien to maintain itself


    Dōjōjinokane The bell of Dōjōji temple: B


    Although his specially illustrated books Yokais there is a drawing that is not totally related to them is the bell which was melted by Kiyohime, a woman who fell in love with a young priest, and through the rage of unrequited love became a terrible serpent demon. When the priest fled and hid underneath this temple bell, the serpent surrounded the bell and destroyed herself and her would-be lover in flames of her rage


    Seiken is able to materialize the replica of this bell and use it as Kiyohime like a prison, although because it is only the replica could be broken by a servant strong enough also this noble phastam is a single use so it is need to know when to Use it

  2. #6522
    吸血鬼 Vampire sherlock1110's Avatar
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    Bahram the Fifth: You're probably going to hear about how great this sheet is so I'll try to maximise my criticisms. Sorry if that's a bit cruel but you're meant to go harder on the better sheets and easier on the worse ones. The short stories are really good and they help with showing how the character acts... I might try one myself (probably would fail but). All in all the skills, personality and everything else is really well polished. The criticisms I can raise would be that the Noble Phantasm is quite simple, it fits the character but it's a series of specialised attacks. Still pretty cool though. Do all the attacks (aside from the final one) come in that specific order or can they be switched around?

    You so far have only done one Noble Phantasm per character, I don't know if that is a legitimate criticism but it's a point of interest.

    Seiken: Google translate + Type Moon... Bad combination indeed. Anyway you can't really help that, sorry. Giving a good indication of what the exact level of the ability does might be useful, is every level of "Lover of the supernatural" like this (gives them exact memory in terms of paranormal events) or is that only at A rank? As an artist is do they necessarily deserve to be this powerful, it seems somewhat out of place for a modern Servant. I believe the main weakness of the sheet is it's a bit... wanked. The first Noble Phantasm, though it makes sense within his character, is far too powerful for someone who wouldn't be very famous outside of Japan. I'll move swiftly on from this and also note that the second Noble Phantasm could be explained a lot better, as of right now I am very confused around what it actually does. To try to mitigate the problems outside of the NPs maybe he would really lack Mana outside of Japan? Or it might even be impossible to summon him (A bit like Kojiro I believe).

    Also, please credit the original artist (Otherwise Ymir/Gally eats your soul).
    Last edited by sherlock1110; June 27th, 2017 at 01:06 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Daneel Rush View Post
    Summer Events: Deepest Lore.
    These are my Servant and Master sheets I hope you enjoy reading them:
    Servant And Master Sheets

  3. #6523
    So Many Ideas, So Little Time SleepMode's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sherlock1110 View Post
    You so far have only done one Noble Phantasm per character, I don't know if that is a legitimate criticism but it's a point of interest.
    Not really speaking for Daneel, but one detailed and in-depth NP is better than three shallow ones. Quality over Quantity, you know?
    Last edited by SleepMode; June 27th, 2017 at 09:09 PM.
    The Act of dozing off in the afternoon is a luxury indeed.
    Coffee would be nice, though.

    [Collection of my Servant Sheets]
    Now Revamped!

  4. #6524
    吸血鬼 Vampire sherlock1110's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zh1212 View Post
    Personally, one detailed and in-depth NP is better than three shallow ones. Quality over Quantity, you know?
    Yes, my sheets (like one million NPs per character and they are all one line) exemplify why quality needs to be focused on. I was just bringing it up as a strange observation, it might be coincidence, author's preference or something else. I just decided "Eh why not bring it up"?
    Quote Originally Posted by Daneel Rush View Post
    Summer Events: Deepest Lore.
    These are my Servant and Master sheets I hope you enjoy reading them:
    Servant And Master Sheets

  5. #6525
    吸血鬼 Vampire sherlock1110's Avatar
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    Oh god nearly missed this one, sorry.

    Armstrong: The skills make sense as he's going to need Pioneer of the Stars to use his Noble Phantasm though. The skills could be somewhat more fleshed out, explaining how he has each (sad opportunity missed for genderbent Armstrong), so Magic Resistance could be due to not only his class but his association with breaking through a Mystery, although you have given a short description for Wisdom of Predicament . Finally, the Noble Phantasm is pretty awesome but some questions could be answered, for example: Could another Servant get into the Apollo 11? Does it require any specific resources (Like Caster of Black's NP)?
    Last edited by sherlock1110; June 27th, 2017 at 03:35 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Daneel Rush View Post
    Summer Events: Deepest Lore.
    These are my Servant and Master sheets I hope you enjoy reading them:
    Servant And Master Sheets

  6. #6526
    So Many Ideas, So Little Time SleepMode's Avatar
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    Sunny always type out the Servants' True Names in black.
    The Act of dozing off in the afternoon is a luxury indeed.
    Coffee would be nice, though.

    [Collection of my Servant Sheets]
    Now Revamped!

  7. #6527
    吸血鬼 Vampire sherlock1110's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zh1212 View Post
    Sunny always type out the Servants' True Names in black.
    So it IS just me... Thanks, sorry to be a bother.
    Last edited by sherlock1110; June 27th, 2017 at 03:39 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Daneel Rush View Post
    Summer Events: Deepest Lore.
    These are my Servant and Master sheets I hope you enjoy reading them:
    Servant And Master Sheets

  8. #6528
    love warrior <3 world-0 the god of world-0's Avatar
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    somewhat crazy idea

    After spend a time away from the site to take care of personal matters, i must say that i love this place. Being a (hopefully) future writer with the bad habit to make characters before thinking into the setting, i realy enjoy post my ideas, her you guys opinions and also voice my opinions on yours ideas, its awesome.
    But no more shitposting, hers a servent somewhat diferent that the others i made.

    Saber: ryuko emiya
    Str: D, End:E, Agi:C
    Mna:C, Lck:EX, Np:A
    Aligment: lawfull/neutral
    Gender: female
    Height:154cm
    Weight:42kg
    Place of origem:fuyuki, japan
    Armament:sword
    Likes:Well structured meals, stuffed animals
    Dislikes:Badly structured meals, dressing up too much
    Talents:Gymnastic exercise, secretly good in all kinds of gambling
    Natural enemies: Some people she does not remember

    Skills:
    magic resistence(B): while she never encountered any magic in her life, she still has this skill at a decent level for no aparent reason. it may be a shadow of a non-existent past.

    riding(E+++): she does not know anything about riding and cannot use this skill properly, However, she can quickly learn However to ride anything with a proper teacher.

    charisma(A+): Despite being a normal schoolgirl, she has the charisma of a king, it can even surpass kings sometimes because she is easier to relate.

    powerless shell(D):at this level she is percive as a "strong human" but not as a servant. for some reason, it does not lower her status.

    Natural born sworsman(A): a skill of those born to hold a sword, despite the fact that she never recive proper training, her abilities with any kind of sword are that of a master, a type of especific instinct.

    Noble phantasms:
    Fakexcalibur: common sword of normal victory (anti-unit: E):
    A normal katana who only gains the status of noble phantasm while bein wield by saber, it is not remarcable in the slightest, but it fells so right in her hands, it also enables a technic where the target is hit in the forehead whith the base of the hilt, resulting in instantanious knock-out most of the time.

    Artorious regis:the once and future king (anti-unit(self):A):
    Similar in aesthetics to the power of a certain homunculus, it manisfest itself as marks similar to comand seals in her right hand.
    When activated shell will transfosm into artoria pendragon, having her own stats and skills replaced and gaining access to "Excalibur: sword of promised victory", it can only be used three times of fifteen minutes and shell also fells very sad afterward for some reason.

    Caliburn alternative: not-my-sword of selection (anti-use:E-):
    A sword that she cannot use. Its blade is dull, the weight is weird and it fells very uncomfortable in her hands. in other words, is useless.
    However, if she choose to give it to someone it will transform into "Caliburn: golden sword of the victorious" giving the user imcredible power.
    Also, while the original Caliburn whould break if used whith full power, this version will not, it will, However, break if ryuko ever touch it again

    Lore: a complete normal schoolgirl of fuyuki, living with her adoptive brother after their adoptive father past away. she dont know anything about the magical world (something that her family made sure it stays the same) and was very confuse the first time she was summoned.
    The true is that she is king arthur. When the chance arised, artoria wishe was to never have pulled the sword out of the stone, Which resulted in a reality where she was born in fuyuki in modern times and adopted by a retired magus togheter with a redhead boy.
    She is the person artoria never had a chance to be, and defies fate just by being who she is.
    Appearance: she can only be describe as a saberface.
    She is exactly identical to Artorioa down to her height and weight, the only diference is that she lacks dragon blood and dont have that knightly aura, being more like a shy, cute girl
    Last edited by the god of world-0; June 28th, 2017 at 12:52 AM.


    here is a list of my servant sheets(new and improved format for my servant sheets)

    Come explore the White Library, and reach the bottom of this Abyss
    Fate / White Memoria

  9. #6529
    Hey! Are you ready to go? RoydGolden's Avatar
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    This is basically Master!Arturia from Capsule Servant, right? It's an interesting idea, though I'm not really sure this thread is the right place for it honestly. Also a bit weird that an Arturia who specifically abandons kingship actually has a higher rank in Charisma then her normal self. Personally I would've just given her an E-rank, reflecting her natural popularity rather then being able to truly rule over others (sort of like Gawain's variant, though obviously different).

  10. #6530
    love warrior <3 world-0 the god of world-0's Avatar
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    Yeah, i started to make a sheet to master!artoria, but is so hard to find information on her (like the fricking name of her katana) that i star to make-up things and the sheet evolved naturaly.
    Her high charisma comes from the same place as her other skills, the fact that she is, at her core, king arthur. The diference is that people can stand at her side and not just behind her

    - - - Updated - - -

    Why she is whould not be posted her, she is not so diferent from saber lily or jeanne alter.
    But whatever, anything about her nps?


    here is a list of my servant sheets(new and improved format for my servant sheets)

    Come explore the White Library, and reach the bottom of this Abyss
    Fate / White Memoria

  11. #6531
    love warrior <3 world-0 the god of world-0's Avatar
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    Here is some things i could find a place to put in ryuko's sheet.
    Her name is writen with the kanjis 流 and 子 which mean "flow" and "child", alternatively, its has the same pronunce of "dragon's child (龍子)"
    While her weight and height are the same as the original artoria, her likes, dislikes, and talents are also the same, showing how she is not so diferent from f/sn saber
    When i say she was confused when she was first summoned, it was not with what was happening (the grail provide her with the necesary information about the war and what are heroic spirits). She was confused about why she, "regular schoolgirl number:42", was summoned when she never did something more important than win some kendo tournments
    The reason why she is born in modern day fuyuki as oposed to medieval age is a bit trick (read: ass-pull justificative). When saber made her wish, reject almost everything she could about being king arthur, i say almost because there is a thing she will never let go, her bond with shirou. Even if she is not a king anymore (or better, especially now that she is not a king) she will always gladly come back to meet and fall for him
    To end, her core inspiration was master!artoria, but she also has characteristics from EMIYA, sieg and jalter


    here is a list of my servant sheets(new and improved format for my servant sheets)

    Come explore the White Library, and reach the bottom of this Abyss
    Fate / White Memoria

  12. #6532
    love warrior <3 world-0 the god of world-0's Avatar
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    New servants, Time to revise older sheet to see who got it right.


    here is a list of my servant sheets(new and improved format for my servant sheets)

    Come explore the White Library, and reach the bottom of this Abyss
    Fate / White Memoria

  13. #6533
    Hey! Are you ready to go? RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by the god of world-0 View Post
    New servants, Time to revise older sheet to see who got it right.
    You're talking about the ones introduced in Agarthe, right? Yeah, it's always interesting to compare canonical Servants with the ones we've written up here.

    I for one am curious to see how much Rider of ResistanceChristopher Columbus has in common with the sheet of him that I did way back when (seeing as it's one of those I'm especially proud of).

  14. #6534
    love warrior <3 world-0 the god of world-0's Avatar
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    If berseker is who it seens i my have bet on the wrong horse


    here is a list of my servant sheets(new and improved format for my servant sheets)

    Come explore the White Library, and reach the bottom of this Abyss
    Fate / White Memoria

  15. #6535
    吸血鬼 Vampire chem24's Avatar
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    So would it be weird to make another Jack the Ripper given that there's a berserker version that's basically all the theorised identities of him combined? Like another incarnation of him that you can summon in another class (or maybe in the assassin class again?). Just for fun thing if anything.

    I mean we have 2 Vlads that are pretty different people but in the same class, so I figured why the hell not.

  16. #6536
    lordofvenom venomking's Avatar
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    "come master there is no time to wast if you do not hurry i cannot promise limbs will stay intact. "











    True name: lucifer Morningstar.
    Class: assassin.
    Alignment: chaotic evil.

    background: Assassin is the occult version of lucifer morning star and is highly affected by terms and public opinion as well as there idea of him, Assassin was once the angel second to God before he was cast down to earth for his pride.

    Personality: assassins personality is greatly affected by the portrayals of him in modern media, so while in his castor state he would be more playful and prideful being so closer to his true self, Assassin is much more manipulative and plays the role of the tempter rather then the trickster or punisher, while he is prideful he is far more apathetic and robot like compared to his castor self, he does not belaeaves in the idea of fun and does not take pleasure in anything and bealaves in job a well done he also inherently bealaves all humans to be evil in nature even more so then himself and wishes to prove that, his wish for the Grail is for humanity to show "it's true nature".


    stats:
    strength:
    C
    Agility:
    A
    mana:
    B
    Luck:
    E
    Endurance:
    C

    personal skills:
    lie detection: A
    Assassin is able to sense when someone is lying to hi, making it impossible to fool, this skills works by detecting sin in people and allows Assassin to pinpoint weather or not the sin committed in lying.

    Presence detection, E.
    Assassin is able to detect servants but is nulled by any amount of presence concealment.

    Soul Familiars, B.
    Assassin is able to use the souls of any criminal he encounters and kills, these familiars are undetectable to any servant and can act as eyes and ears for assassin.

    Class skills.
    Presence concealment: A
    Is completely invisible to servants un tell he attacks.

    NoblePhantasms.
    sacrificial knife, A

    this knifes ability is to rely the damage caused by any wounds assassin self inflicts to an opposing servant but requires for him to cut a part of his hand and mix his blood with that of servant he wishes to target , this blade is best used as a suicide move guaranteed to kill another servant but can be used to simply harm a servant.


    possession, A
    assassin posses the body of the nearest living human(not including his master) assassin cannot contol which body he winds up in and looses half a rank in agility and strength but gains a rank in mana if posses a mage he gains to ranks in mana and does not loose any rank in strength or agility.

    devils trick, the biggest trick the devil ever pulled was make everyone think he did not exist: EX.
    when activated assassin completely erases any knowledge of his existence from any servant, master or anyone who knows he exists with the exception of his master and if he has an exceptional master he can even deleat the notion that there ever was an assassins class from all the masters and servants minds, although his master would have to be no lower then an A ranked or higher mage.
    Last edited by venomking; July 1st, 2017 at 01:05 AM.

  17. #6537
    It's All Good! 4score7years's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chem24 View Post
    So would it be weird to make another Jack the Ripper given that there's a berserker version that's basically all the theorised identities of him combined? Like another incarnation of him that you can summon in another class (or maybe in the assassin class again?). Just for fun thing if anything.

    I mean we have 2 Vlads that are pretty different people but in the same class, so I figured why the hell not.
    I don't think so. For instance, we saw that one nobleman guy in Strange Fake who was described as one of the more plausible killers. I imagine he could have been summoned as a possible Jack the Ripper in the Assasssin class. I think it makes sense to me to have another possible killer of some kind summoned in the Assassin class as well.

  18. #6538
    吸血鬼 Vampire sherlock1110's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chem24 View Post
    So would it be weird to make another Jack the Ripper given that there's a berserker version that's basically all the theorised identities of him combined? Like another incarnation of him that you can summon in another class (or maybe in the assassin class again?). Just for fun thing if anything.

    I mean we have 2 Vlads that are pretty different people but in the same class, so I figured why the hell not.
    Well everything 4score said is more or less along the lines of what I was going to say, I need to stop being so lazy and take the initiative... In addition to that the nobleman guy might be the theory that Jack was related to the Royal Family? I think something along those lines might be interesting. Also welcome to the site

    Lucifer Morningstar: I know it's picky but I'd like some explanation for the appearance, if this is like Jack (Berserker) where it's based around the myriad theories on a character then he shouldn't have any kind of set appearance and it would be unlikely for it to be human (considering how often Lucifer is displayed as a Beast I'd think he'd be barely able to keep a human form). In addition because of this premise I get the impression he doesn't meet those expectations at all, he was defeated by the classical God (Omnipotent, Omniscient and Omnibenevolent) yet he stands at C rank strength? These might have been overlooked but E rank luck makes little to no sense, ever heard of the phrase "The Devil's own luck"? I cannot really see anything other than Lie Detection making sense for the Servant either. And while the third Noble Phantasm is somewhat interesting the character still doesn't suit the premise of the public perception of Lucifer. Sorry but those are my honest opinions on the sheet, after the premise what you are doing does not make sense. By the way, you done the personality segment quite well And I'll try to not end on a smiley face on every comment
    Last edited by sherlock1110; July 1st, 2017 at 10:12 AM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Daneel Rush View Post
    Summer Events: Deepest Lore.
    These are my Servant and Master sheets I hope you enjoy reading them:
    Servant And Master Sheets

  19. #6539
    lordofvenom venomking's Avatar
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    The look is derictly affected by what his master thinks he would look in human form only his archer, saber, and berserker form have a set look(I'm still working on all three of those) also he's an assassin I'd felt it more appropriate for him not to be super strong as those cassis would go into his berserker or saber form. Also his luck E because he has no bonus for being the devil as he doesn't fit the devil, as much he does lucifer in other berserker gets Devils luck, also I felt luck unceracery for an assassin. Media affects more his phanatsms then it does his actull personality, of course his look is going to be affected by media as assassins appearance is affected by what his master thinks would look like if he had a human form(so it's different between masters.) but by effected by media I menat more his phanatsms as those would not normally be his phanatsms and I plan to create an assasin who would be summoned in in a non modern setting(since heroes can come in any time period.)

  20. #6540
    love warrior <3 world-0 the god of world-0's Avatar
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    Someone just post lucifer right as i finish my sheet of him, Fuck my E-rank luck, but i still post it later since is so largely diferent.
    Also, nobody has nothing to say about my last sheet, i Maybe kinda have been curious


    here is a list of my servant sheets(new and improved format for my servant sheets)

    Come explore the White Library, and reach the bottom of this Abyss
    Fate / White Memoria

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