Sima Yi: This is from China so I'll have no knowledge of the character at all. Sorry that I can't help in that regard. I'm assuming the positive modifier in Territory Creation refers to his establishment of "Ambush Points", although it is quite a strong additional effect while also being able to construct regular workshops, the wording also hints at the possibility of a Summon-An-Army Noble Phantasm *claps hands in glee*. Although Item Creation is generic I'm getting the vibe that this guy is about ambushing things like a min-max player in a JRPG or something. I remember there was some debate over the Personal Skills and I can see why, Strategy and Strategists Advice while different can seem like they are part of the same process, or expressing the same part of his character. Deception seems powerful, to say the least, if this is what it does at B+ Rank what can it possibly do at a higher ranking? I was having difficulty finding anything on it on the Type-Moon Wiki (not the best reference source) and what does the positive modifier refer to? It seems like a far too wanked ability that I don't think the Servant should possess, also if he is deceiving others with his words then skills like Discernment of the Poor should have some effect. Wolf's Awareness... Comes across as part Strategy, Instinct and then being able to turn your head 180 degrees? I didn't get the full effects for this one, but it seems to just be a composite skill. The first Noble Phantasm, please remember here that I have no knowledge of this legend, seems to make sense although I can see it's limits in a Holy Grail War as most civilians would be puzzled and one might say a little surprised if a giant fortress suddenly appeared out of thin air. And then it's Summon-An-Army. Both Noble Phantasms are, while not particularly interesting, appropriate and fit the character but wouldn't the Army never be properly summoned? Unless the fortress was in the middle of a city it's unlikely that Caster would have enough Mana incoming to summon and maintain them. It's a solid sheet overall although I'd think a little wanked in places, sorry.
Sweeny Tod: So I decided to look up a bit on this figure, I'd heard of him before but wasn't quite clear whether he came from literature or an urban legend but most historians tend towards the former it seems. I imagine you were trying to do spoiler tags for this sheet so I'll try and give a quick guide below:
In the cases where I use { whatever is meant to go in here } you would instead use [ whatever is meant to go in here ] for the actual code.
{spoiler}
{/spoiler}
Will create:
{spoiler=Servant Identity}
{/spoiler}
Will create:
Hopefully that should help, moving onwards this character is going to be quite an interesting case because after reading their story I have my own thoughts on the matter. I believe the Parameters are far too high, I know this sounds a bit too aggressive but I think that the reason why Sweeny Tod wouldn't make a good Servant is because he was a Barber and as such he wouldn't have amazing parameters or skills. Strength would be around E or D Rank at best while Agility, Mana and Endurance would all be ranked similarly. Perhaps Luck would be ranked higher considering how he got away with such a ridiculous and stupid plan for so long but that might be attributed to the uncontrolled rise in crime during the industrialisation of the time. I don't exactly like the story, sorry. The background you wrote for the character seems better than the original story in my opinion -_-. Although you've left Personality and Appearance incredibly thin, with his Appearance as well he'd be identified almost instantly in a Grail War (unless Saber Alter Lily Santa Barber is going to be the next big thing). Lovett Familiar doesn't seem like a proper skill, the reason you were probably challenged in writing this sheet is because Sweeny Tod is such a bad story that is more or less unfit for a Servant sheet, which is by the standards of me with Leopold von Sacher-Masoch as a Servant. Anyway the Personal Skills are under-developed and why would he have anything remotely like Battle Continuation? It doesn't seem to make any sense. Presence Concealment is also wildly inappropriate as he was a well known barber in London, which would mean he had Espionage of some variety. I looked up "rube", it's some kind of country bumpkin but it's an American thing so I don't really get it. I now imagine this crazed farmer summoning hundreds of country boys with which to assault his foes. Jokes aside the Noble Phantasm makes little sense either, while there is disagreement about how he killed his victims which changed as he became a reoccuring literary character (He did develop some kind of "polishing off" catchphrase) A+ is ridiculous. It's just a Noble Phantasm that really makes no sense but I'm having difficulty coming up with a Noble Phantasm for this character either, I just don't think he's an appropriate Servant.
Originally Posted by
Ayr
Thank you for correcting me, because it's not like I'm actually paying attention to this.