Thanks for your critique. I had a feeling Agility might have been too high. I was really going to the Fragile Speedster thing since she is a rabbit. A+ would have been good enough too. And to answer your question about John, yes she would. She enjoys hanging out with fellow tricksters and misfits, and is especially fond of matching wits with other witty people. John and her would hit it off rather well.Originally Posted by RoydGolden
Last edited by Dozer095; August 17th, 2016 at 11:55 PM.
Seeing as how you're going by the Welsh tales, he's pretty... underwhelming. Despite how little we're given, if I were to equate him to someone in terms of combat prowess, it would be Guts from Berserk.
In that regard, his GO stats should have been altered very little.
Furthermore, his personality is just a canon copy & paste. I don't see what's different about it.
As for the skills, you deranked his Riding for no reason.
Last edited by Historia; August 18th, 2016 at 12:49 AM.
I originally went with roughly the GO stats but lowered them once I realized I'd given him two stat-buffing Skills (Natural Body and Last Knight). With those two active at once, he'd actually have Strength- A, Agility- A+, Endurance- A, Mana- A and Luck- B, which is... pretty powerful, to say the least.
His personality isn't a literal copy+paste (I came up with the wording myself) but it is of course following closely to how he's described in the wiki. The main thing I came up with myself was the reference to getting flustered regarding his true wish for Arturia's happiness, which I felt was cute. (And I could easily imagine canon Bedi having that reaction)
Take out Last Knight, re-work Witchcraft, and bump up Natural Body to B/B+.
I like Last Knight though and think it works well as a 'flavor' Skill. I won't be getting rid of that. By 're-working' Witchcraft I presume you mean specifying what he can actually do with it? Yeah, I admit that's an oversight (albeit I couldn't be bothered to correct at first). I think C is fine for Natural Body. Any higher and we're talking people whose bodies were specially crafted by the gods or nature or somesuch, whereas Bedivere just 'has a really great bod'.
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I don't really see why Bedivere should have A-ranked Riding to be honest, since far as I know he didn't have any super notable feats of riding in legend. Besides, you could easily say it was ranked down through being summoned as Lancer.
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In any case, much thanks for the feedback. It's rare I get anything so in-depth around here.
Fair enough.
Nowhere have I read that he practiced any form of magecraft, sorcery, or what have you, so, really, you should remove it. I say replace it with Instinct (B), Protection from Arrows (D), or Bravery (C).By 're-working' Witchcraft I presume you mean specifying what he can actually do with it? Yeah, I admit that's an oversight (albeit I couldn't be bothered to correct at first).
He was Arthur's Marshal. As that as the case, also keep Military Tactics (B).I don't really see why Bedivere should have A-ranked Riding to be honest, since far as I know he didn't have any super notable feats of riding in legend. Besides, you could easily say it was ranked down through being summoned as Lancer.
Last edited by Historia; August 18th, 2016 at 01:35 AM.
Wait, Maiya had a personality?
If you read the novel.
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And, yeah, again, Bedivere from the Welsh tales... just imagine you're making a sheet for Guts from Berserk and you basically have him. Hence why I said he can be a Berserker but not a Caster.
Last edited by Historia; August 18th, 2016 at 01:41 AM.
I read the novel. I barely even remember that she was in it.
She was in it.
Yukimura: And the next one I was working on has been sniped as well. He's pretty darn good and his sheet synchronises well with his personality. He's a simple but fun character who's been well thought out. Nice job.
Brer Rabbit: You've justified her existence as a heroic spirit rather well. I understand that as a trickster she relies more on strategy than direct combat but I feel the A++ agility is too high, I'd ditch one of the +'s especially as you've given her self preservation as a skill which works well in conjunction with each other alongside the Noble Phantasms as well
Also, Eye of the mind and Instinct kind of clash with each other with calm analysis and gut feeling so I would only have one of those personally.
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As you can see, I do actually have a source on this, as hard to believe as it might be. I wanted to include it since I felt it was by far one of the more intriguing aspects of Bedi's legend. Here's a link, in case you wanna check it for himself.
In any case, I actually thought of giving him Protection From Arrows (particularly since I included it as part of his power-set in Culhwch's profile a while back) but decided not to as he had enough Skills already.
Please include citations to the relevant literature
I want to take a moment to point out how hilariously inane it is to use tumblr as a source. Especially when you realize it's the internet.
It's doubly funny since Bedivere is usually in fact the one tied to realism than magic, since his inclusion in the Arthurian tradition predates the romanticism of later writers and his basis was probably actually of a real person rather than a fictionalized hero like Lancelot or Galahad.
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Well he does know quite a bit about witches. Suspect if you ask me.
What can I say. It struck me as a reliable source. *shrugs*
And most of the other outlandish things mentioned in it (Balin wielding Longinus, Gawain being sun-powered, an invisible knight, etc) were in the myths so I was inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt.
In any case, I'm keeping it.
Servant Archer:
True Name: Sun Shangxiang 'Bow Princess'
Alignment: Chaotic Good
Alternate Classes: Saber, Lancer, Striker
Strength- C
Agility- B
Endurance- C+
Mana- D
Luck- C
NP- C++
Equipment: "Liánhuā Gōng"- a thin, delicate looking longbow fit for being wielded by a princess. The arc is pale pink in color, fading into pure white near the ends. Exquisite patterns wrap the bow's arc depicting flower and vine patterns with blossoming peach and lotus flowers. Though Sun was described as a talented archer, there was never any mention of a particular bow she wielded so this is in truth a nameless construct similar to those filling the Gate of Babylon.
Appearance:
(Finally got a chance to use a Kabanari FC....)
Personality: Feisty, upbeat and spirited. Archer is someone who cares not for promises of tomorrow but merely indulges herself in the fleeting moment without restraint. In other words, she is essentially a hedonist. That said, Archer is hardly a bad person and can show great loyalty to those she considers her 'family'. She admires and looks up to her brother Sun Quan- said to equal her in ferocity- and holds strong affections towards her husband Liu Bei.
While she is wild and impossible to manage, those who know her can't help but forgive such things, saying "Like a wildflower, her beauty is in being untamed". Giving off a tomboyish manner from her intense devotion to martial arts, she actually considers herself a woman before anything else. A saying of hers is, "Martial arts is an art just like sewing or weaving. What exactly is 'unwomanly' about it?"
Archer's wish on the Holy Grail is a simple one. To reunite with her beloved husband Liu Bei.
Likes: her family, martial arts, Liu Bei
Dislikes: long hair (gets in the way), political scheming
Talent: anything necessary for a warrior
Natural Enemy: Patriarchal expectations, Liu Bei
Class Skills:
Independant Action (B)- It is possible for a Servant to stay in the world for two days without a Master. However, this is the ideal value achieved by maximally conserving mana and avoiding battle and Noble Phantasm usage. Archer was known to wander freely all about the Shu capital, and it was only Liu Bei's followers that prevented her from running amok.
Magic Resistance (D)- Negates Single-Action spells. Magic Resistance equivalent in degree to an amulet that rejects magical energy. Having been born after the Age Of Gods and sheltered from encountering any magic in life, Archer has only a low rank in this Skill.
Personal Skills:
Dread Visage (D)- Ability to inspire fear in others through one's form and manner. While certainly attractive, Archer's presence and fighting spirit were noted to unnerve even seasoned warriors. Not outright 'terror', in this case opponents only experience a lingering sense of intimidation from her presence which can nontheless impede from fighting at full effectiveness. Can be negated by Bravery or similar Skills of the same rank or higher.
Lady Of War (B)- Nature of a lady excelling in all manners of combat. An elegant flower that blossoms artistically through war and bloodshed. Unusually for a women of her position and era, Archer ordered herself to be trained in all kinds of weapons and fighting styles from a young age, growing to master many. Any weapon or martial style Archer recognizes can be used at equal proficiency to her chosen, whether that be sword, spear or bow.
Nature Of A Rebellious Spirit (E)- The temperament to never remain at one location and never embrace a lord. A wandering star that does not have the capacity to be king nor of finding her own king. Cancels the effects of Charisma with the same rank. Archer was notoriously rebellious and stubborn, having ordered herself trained in martial arts in defiance of the standards of her time. Her husband had to keep guards on her on all times, lest she run amok in the capital. However, her rebellion is not born out of any ill-intent and Archer would never dream of actually betraying her family.
Noble Phantasm:
Bǎi Gāng Fúwùyuán- Hundred Retainers Of Iron (C++, Anti-Team): A Noble Phantasm representing the one hundred attendants that were said to stand guard over Archer in legend. Trained warriors rather then mere maidservants, all of them carried swords, spears and bows. Even Archer's husband- the mighty general Liu Bei, could not help but feel a chill in his heart standing in the presence of such devout warriors. Loyal without question, any one of these retainers would unhesitantly give up their life if for the faintest chance their mistress may live. Their loyalty towards Archer is so great as to transcend time and enable them to be called upon as her Noble Phantasm.
Unlike most similar abilities, the hundred guards are in fact constantly active in the world from the very moment Archer is summoned. They normally keep incorporeal form so as to conserve Mana, materializing upon Archer's command to enact her will. Keeping all one hundred active at once would cost prohibitive amounts of Mana, so Archer normally can only call upon her guards in smaller 'squads' of five or ten at a time.
The servants appear as pale-skinned, dark-haired young women clad in opulent robes, their faces obscured behind ornate bronze masks depicting beautiful feminine faces. Each one of them is carrying a sword, halberd, bow or other such weapon, which all qualify as E- lesser Noble Phantasms. As nameless wraiths rather then true Heroic Spirits, they all have the equivalent of rank E parameters all across the board. While capable of overwhelming humans, true legendary heroes would be able to scatter them like leaves before a storm.
Even without Archer's command, the courtiers' can manifest themselves corporeally for brief moments if necessary, such as to defend against an attack or intercept an incoming projectile. They are endowed with the Skills Independent Action (E) and Protection From Arrows (C) so as to better defend their mistress.
Archer can also manifest attendants for an instant, just long enough to perform a single slash, before instantly dismissing them. In this way, she can create the appearance of 'phantom slashes' springing out from the very air itself, which Archer's opponents are unable to even perceive, let alone guard against. Skills such as Instinct can be used to nontheless react to and dodge such attacks, while Eye Of The Mind (True) at a sufficient rank enables one to grasp their true nature.
As incorporeal beings, these retainers can also be sent out as ideal spies and information gatherers. In that regard, it can be considered as if Archer had one hundred lesser Assassin Class Servants at her beck and call.
The care between Archer and her attendants is reciprocal. She treats them not as pawns to be traded off but as her most cherished and beloved allies. Though their names have been forgotten to history, Archer nonetheless refers to each and every one by name and treats them as individuals, not mere wraiths. She will grieve their deaths deeply and be filled with rage at any opponent that should kill even a single one of them.
Zhōng Jiàntóu- We Pledge Our Bodies To You, Oh Mistress (B, Anti-Unit~Army): Sun's legend as a 'princess of archery' combined with the immense loyalty invested in her by her one hundred attendants have combined to take shape into a gestalt Noble Phantasm that she never possessed in life, one only usable under the Class of Archer.
It can only be invoked while at least one of her servants is active. Upon doing so, the selected guard will dissolve into pure glowing white and pale pink magical energy that flows into Archer's longbow to take form into a luminous arrow, ready to be fired. This 'arrow' bears all the concentrated power and Mystery of the attendant herself. Nameless wraiths as they may be, their ties to Archer's own legend grant them a not inconsiderable amount which can be unleashed through a suitable vessel- in this case, an arrow.
Upon firing, the arrow will fly in an arc through the air, piercing all in its way before exploding in a sphere of light colored the same as the arrow itself. Even in the form of arrows, her retainers are still animated by their loyalty to Archer and are capable of redirecting their course slightly in midair in order to seek out her targets.
Each arrow counts as a rank 'B' Noble Phantasm and with a hundred attendants under her command, up to one hundred arrows can be 'created'. However, each use of this Noble Phantasm sacrifices one of her retainers, who are irreparably destroyed in the process of transmuting into arrows and subsequently detonated. It is truly the ultimate display of loyalty, sacrificing even their bodies to become weapons for the sake of their mistress. While her servants will gladly perform such a sacrifice without a moment's hesitation, Archer herself is loathe to do so and will berate them for even suggesting such a thing.
Multiple servants can be drawn into a single arrow, further increasing its power beyond even a normal rank 'B' Noble Phantasm. As this happens, the arrow's radiance and size will scale up drastically, the light composing it swelling outward and growing unstable as if unable to be contained in a discrete form. An arrow powered by all one hundred would have truly immense destructive power but on the other hand, after utilizing it, Archer would be unable to invoke either of her Noble Phantasms for the remainder of the War.
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Finally managed to get this one out. I'd written this profile up about halfway through (well, mainly the NP) a few weeks ago but accidentally deleted it, and it took a while for me to regain sufficient inspiration to take another crack at it. Her NP is a 'warrior summon' but I tried to make it different from other abilities of that type, mainly in how versatile it is. As always. be sure to drop by with comments and criticisms! Thanks.
Last edited by RoydGolden; December 23rd, 2016 at 01:23 AM. Reason: Added New Skill & NP
That's the third character in a row to be sniped... anyways, our versions are different enough to warrant me posting.
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Source (X)
Class: Archer
True Name: Sun Shangxiang "Lady Sun"
Alignment: Neutral Good
Place of Origin: China
Attribute: Man
Traits: Human
Armament: Armour, Sword, Bow
STR C
END: C
AGI: A
MGI: D
LCK: B
NP: B
Height/Weight: 160cm/56kg
Likes: Maids, Family
Dislikes: Needless Conflict, Political Drama
Talent: Peace Keeping
Natural Enemy: Her Husband, Zhao Yun
Class Skills:
- Independent Action (B) - It is possible for a Servant to stay in the world for two days without a Master. However, this is the ideal value achieved by maximally conserving mana and avoiding battle and Noble Phantasm usage.
- Magic Resistance (E) - Cannot cancel spells, but magic damage is reduced somewhat.
Personal Skills:
- Attendant of Iron (A+) - A skill that reinforce the master attributes with just proximity. By forming a secondary pact with another, she can empower another to that of her "maids" who were fearsome and would escort her to and from battle. A regular human would be empowered greatly enough to match the likes of a typical Caster and Assassin physical combat.
- Chinese Martial Arts (A) - A Chinese rationality. A value that measures one's mastery of the martial arts that made becoming one with the universe as its objective. Its difficulty to learn is of the highest level and, unlike other Skills, it is at A Rank that one is at a level where he is said to have finally "learned it".
- Disengage (C) - The ability to break away from combat. Bonus effect of returning battle conditions to what they were at the beginning of the match.
Noble Phantasm
Lore
Personality
Tactics
Last edited by Bird of Hermes; November 7th, 2016 at 06:12 PM.
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Wow, it looks like I got my own sheet just in time to be first! I was actually worried for a while you might ninja me, since I knew you had an interest in Three Kingdoms related heroes...
In any case, it's certainly interesting to see our two different takes on the character. You managed to think of a bow NP for her whereas I could not and just gave her the hundred maids as an NP. Bridal Arrow is quite clever and I like the idea of an 'arrow that brings peace' which reminds me a little of Arash's Stella, though obviously a very different take.
Any comments on my own Lady Sun?
Oh look, I can do this too!
Saitou Hajime was believed to be responsible for the inner-unit assassination of his fellow Shinsengumi captain Takeda Kanryuusai.
Diarmuid spent some time daring people to walk across the sharp edge of his sword to show how awesome he was.
The Sanada Braves were led by Sarutobi Sasuke, which is why the word "Sasuke" and "ninja" are synonymous in Japan.
Tripitaka spent twenty years in India, which was the basis for the Journey to the West story.
If you sleep in a bed Merlin made out of Balin's tomb, you go mad.
Now, one of these is false, but can you tell me which one at a glance?
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