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Thread: Create-A-Servant 2

  1. #9001
    屍食鬼 Ghoul TresserT's Avatar
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    I've been working on an Adam sheet for a few weeks but keep hitting road blocks, so I was curious to see how you handled certain things. All around I feel you made him a bit generic and made his skillset a bit patchy, without much coherence or reasoning behind certain things.

    Sculpted Birth and Curse of Man both seem a bit tacked on and vague. While your lore behind each makes sense, you application doesn't. In other words, you're saying "because Adam was made from clay, he now has earth based attacks" which seems a bit ??? It's especially noticeable with Sculpted Birth, as "elemental attacks" don't really have any meaning in the nasuverse. I feel like it might have been clearer if you'd tried to do something like Enkidu, where he has specific interactions with the ground rather than just a generic "earth element" tacked on.

    Parental Bonds has a bit of the opposite problem. While the ability's application makes more sense, it doesn't seem to have any real basis. Why does "having tons of descendents" equal "being able to gain knowledge about those descendents"? There's no anecdote or legend about Adam's ability to recognize his descendents, is there? Throwing it on winds up feeling like a really forced way to acknowledge his trait as the father of all men. Accumulated knowledge suffers from this too, though to a lesser extent. You can rationalize "since he lived for so long, it makes sense he'd learn a lot of things", but since there's no real legend or story behind him knowing learning lots of skills (at least, you didn't provide one associated with the skill) it makes it feel pretty forced. It's especially bad since immortals like Scathach or Merlin don't receive such skills.

    Curse of Man feels super generic given its basis and rank. It's just a "you get weaker then die" type noble phantasm. Your description doesn't really give us any impresion of why it is the way it is, or the magnitude of its power.

    Lastly, all around the sheet feels pretty patched up. You have a lot of skills and abilities that don't interact with each other, I can't really get an idea of his fighting style. He can slightly mind control people, he can beat people up because of his high stats, he gains knowledge of enemy servants, he summons tons of animals, he curses people to death... It's not so much that he's OP, it's more that he's trying to do 5 different things at once. Maybe focus on 1 or 2 techniques, mayb give your servant a trump card, but try to narrow down what they do a bit. Think of it like a class in a video game- you don't have characters that are tanks, supports, and nukes all at the same time. You have different characters who perform different roles. Pick a role and focus on building your character around it.
    Last edited by TresserT; January 28th, 2018 at 01:27 AM.

  2. #9002
    死者 The Dead
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    You make a lot of really good points. Notably that his skills have little cohesion, and hedoesn’t fulfill a role. I was under the impression there was elemental damage in fate evidenced by Skills such as protection from wind, but I think the skill is boring anyway, so I’ll change it. I’ll do a revision with the goal of a more cohesive skill set tomorrow. Thanks for your critiques.
    Last edited by Biamwput; January 28th, 2018 at 03:20 AM. Reason: Grammar

  3. #9003
    吸血鬼 Vampire Shiki's Avatar
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    i would like to share something in regards with the Curse of Man.. I think those with divinity or not purely human must have a lesser effect on them because they are not actually a pure descendant from him. I think the effect of it that it will take a longer time before it get affect on this beings is not enough. It doesn't make a sense that those who are demi-humans be affected by that curse where is they are not purely related to him and there attribute is not just contained to Man.

    This makes me curious, I wonder what will happen if he fights Angra Mainyu avenger.
    Be sliced by the blades of summer snow, fragile thing..

  4. #9004
    Dead Apostle Eater Historia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    So now that we've hit the 50 page hallmark I've decided it's high time that we get another update for the OP. For that purpose I've compiled all the sheets from the last ten pages or so. Much thanks to NMR-3 for compiling most of the recent sheets, which made my work a heckuva lot easier.
    The Nibelungenlied is German.

    Kriemhild is German.

    Germany = / = Scandivania

  5. #9005
    Dead Apostle Eater Historia's Avatar
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    =CASTER=

    Click here to toggle visibility of Pixiv image

    Artist: Ryuki(りゅうき)[pixiv]

    Sucker For Pain by Lil Wayne, Wiz Khalifa & Imagine Dragons (ft. Logic, Ty Dolla $ign , X Ambassadors) (Suicide Squad Original Soundtrack)

    Possible Alternate Classes: Berserker

    True Name: Daji - The Thousand-Year-Old Vixen of the East

    Gender: Female

    Height/Weight: 159 cm / 44 kg

    Alignment: Chaotic Evil

    Place of Origin: China

    =Parameters=

    Strength: E
    Endurance: E
    Agility: A
    Mana: A
    Luck: D
    NP: EX

    =Class Skills=

    Territory Creation​ (D):
    The skill to build a special terrain that is advantageous to oneself as a magus.

    - The majority of what Caster owned were gifted to her by the king who lavished her with anything her heart desired. Her favorite gift was the Star-Picking Belvedere—a fortress with a view.

    Item Construction​ (A):
    The skill to manufacture magical items.​

    - Her own inventions were quite effective for their purposes.

    Mad Enhancement (EX):
    All parameters are increased.

    - After being denied what she wanted, Caster will do anything to gain what she wants. There is only one thing that matters and overtime, all reasoning disappears to obtain it—she won't die even if she's killed.

    - "If I can't have immortality, then everyone suffers with me!" or something.

    =Personal Skills=

    Dual Summon (C):
    Granted the Class Skills of both the Caster and Berserker classes.

    Possession (A):
    Can take over the bodies of humans and severely weakened Servants through possession. The process kills the host. If by some miracle they aren’t killed or dead by the time Caster leaves their body, the host’s mind becomes corrupted [1].

    - In order to fulfill the task given to her, Daji invaded the body of an innocent girl. Though, regrettably—or not—the action killed the girl.

    Divinity (A):
    The strength of one's god-like nature. The more god blood flowing in the veins, the higher the rank.

    - Caster was one of the Three Attendants of the Grave of the Yellow Emperor [2].

    =Noble Phantasms=

    Creations of the False Goddess (EX):
    Caster is able to re-create one of her various tortures devices of her choosing.

    - The Burning Pillar
    A hollow pillar of brass, six meters tall and eight around. Three fire doors are in its upper, middle and lower parts through which charcoal is placed inside. Victims are stripped, chained and wrapped them it. In a second, bones, flesh and blood turn to a fetid smoke and disappear—or roast slowly, depending on whichever is preferred.

    - The Serpent Pit
    Full of poisonous spiders and exceedingly venomous snakes, victims were shaved of their hair, bound together, stripped of their clothing, and thrown into it to be devoured in slow, painful agony.

    - The Wine Pool and Meat Forest
    Victims were tied together in pairs and thrown into the pool. Each individual pair would have to drink the pool's wine and perform swimming tricks within the water. Once each pair was readily drunk, they would be set loose within the Meat Forest and enjoy an abundance of cooked duck, roasted pig, and so forth. Though, once the sun set, they would be beaten to a bloody pulp and fed alive to the animals—fox demons included—that were also residing within the forest.

    - The Deer Gallery
    A large pleasure tower double the size of the Star-Picking Belvedere, fully equipped with columns of jade, floors of marble, roofs and ceilings of fabled, legendary jewels, and railings of great pearls and sea corals. It was meant to be the finally resting place of a renowned hero [3] who sought to undermine all of a certain fox demon's hardwork.

    =Bio=

    At a thousand years old, a beautiful fox demon who loved animals and music and the fine arts named Daji wasn't getting younger, and wished for immortality. Well, one day, she finally got her chance. One of the Three Attendants of the Grave of the Yellow Emperor, she and the other two were summoned by Nüwa, the Goddess of Sal-err, Mankind, because the corrupt ruler, King Zhou, wrote a badly written poem about how great he was all over the chalk walls above her throne, desecrating her temple and ruining her birthday instead of worshiping her like everyone else much to the fear and annoyance of his counsel, Shang Rong [4].

    Nüwa, in her rage at being humiliated, ordered Daji and the other two Attendants to ruin King Zhou's life, ruin his dynasty, and implement a better one in their place because she wasn't allowed to do it herself.

    So, Daji did the Goddess's bidding by possessing the body of a noble family's daughter named Su with a beauty equivalent to her own after finding out how much the king loved women. In this disguise, she seduced the king and in return he showered her with affection. His affection was measured in varying degrees of debauchery and cruelty. It was also infectious. In time, especially after the barbaric death of the other two Attendants, Daji became savage herself. She loved animals so much that watching them tear people apart gave her much delight. She loved music so much that the most pleasing sound to her ears was the chorus of her victims screaming in pain and agony. She loved the fine arts so much that creating devices designed solely for torture and the scarlet tapestries and galleries they made filled her with ecstasy.

    Eventually, the people came to hate King Zhou and Daji for all their atrocities and rebelled, raising an army and overthrowing their rule. King Zhou committed suicide. Daji was beheaded by the new King, Ji Fa. Thus, just as Nüwa wanted, a new dynasty was born.

    Back in the Red Courtyard where she was first summoned by Nüwa, Daji, her task completed, awaited what was promised. Though, because of her overzealousness in doing so, Nüwa broke her promise. To her shock and anger, Daji wasn't granted immortality. Instead, she was sentenced to death due to how twisted her nature became as a result of King Zhou's influence and for destroying an innocent girl's life and reputation in the process in addition to countless others.

    [1] It's said that Daji was actually the first victim of psychological warfare.
    [2] The most ancient of the China's five legendary emperors. Ascended to godhood after his death.
    [3] Jiang Ziya. Regarded as one of the greatest military strategists in Chinese history.
    [4] Prime Minister of China at the time. Was so angry at King Zhou for not listening to his wisdom and intelligence he bashed his own head in to spare himself the further resentment.
    Last edited by Historia; February 8th, 2018 at 12:11 PM.

  6. #9006
    Lost in Paradise RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Su Daji: Some interesting ideas, but the sheet itself is very sparse.

    A little more flavor-text for her Skills and especially NP (such as detailing what kind of torture devices she can create and what their effects are) wouldn't hurt. I also think Shapeshifter should really be an original Skill since its effects diverge quite a bit from the canon Shapeshift Skill (being more like possession), and Evaporation Of Sanity seems kind of unnecessary given Mad Enhancement. Since she's a Caster, I'd swap that out with Witchcraft.

  7. #9007
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six Bird of Hermes's Avatar
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    A few things with Daji, sorry if it sounds particularly harsh:
    1. Mad Enhancement has the effects of D rank and only boosting 2 parameters instead of all of them. Also EX rank ME allows you to get fun with describing the unique way their madness takes hold (Raikou, Nightingale, Pentheselia etc) so if it's not described, there's no real purpose for the rank to be at that particular level.
    2. Evaporation of Sanity doesn't really mix with ME being there, I'd pick one or the other in my opinion.
    3. No mention of any Witchcraft abilities? There's a fair bit you can get into.
    4. Also no mention of any trace Divinity? There's a lot more you could get into
    5. An EX ranked Noble Phantasm described with only a single sentence? Give justification to the rank, give examples of the torture games of Daji, paint a word picture of Daji's 2edgy4u personality throughout it


    My problem is that this feels way to sparse, there's "Less is more" then there's a plain old lack of content. Like I get where you're going with this but I need you to

  8. #9008
    Dead Apostle Eater Historia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    Su Daji: Some interesting ideas, but the sheet itself is very sparse.

    - A little more flavor-text for her Skills and especially NP (such as detailing what kind of torture devices she can create and what their effects are) wouldn't hurt.

    - I also think Shapeshifter should really be an original Skill since its effects diverge quite a bit from the canon Shapeshift Skill (being more like possession), and

    - Evaporation Of Sanity seems kind of unnecessary given Mad Enhancement.

    - Witchcraft.
    - Later. When I feel like it.

    - It's now called Possession.

    - Yeah. I know.

    - Get out.

    Quote Originally Posted by Bird of Hermes View Post
    1. Mad Enhancement has the effects of D rank and only boosting 2 parameters instead of all of them. Also EX rank ME allows you to get fun with describing the unique way their madness takes hold (Raikou, Nightingale, Pentheselia etc) so if it's not described, there's no real purpose for the rank to be at that particular level.
    2. Evaporation of Sanity doesn't really mix with ME being there, I'd pick one or the other in my opinion.
    3. No mention of any Witchcraft abilities?
    4. Also no mention of any trace Divinity?
    5. An EX ranked Noble Phantasm described with only a single sentence?
    1. Okay.
    2. Yeah. I know.
    3. No.
    4. Not right now. Immortality GET.
    5. Yeah, I did that.
    Last edited by Historia; January 28th, 2018 at 07:29 PM.

  9. #9009
    love warrior <3 world-0 the god of world-0's Avatar
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    No coments on my flamel ?


    here is a list of my servant sheets(new and improved format for my servant sheets)

    Come explore the White Library, and reach the bottom of this Abyss
    Fate / White Memoria

  10. #9010
    Tranquilo, Japones, Tranquilo JetKinen's Avatar
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    Inspired by some of the sheets here, I'm trying to get back into the game of creating dumb servants by going through some of my old ideas. Trying to clean my mind for new ones. I don't know how you mothefuckers can shit quality sheets so fast. I spent 3 focused days on this sheet alone and I'm already regretting getting back into the game.
    I sure fucking hope this sheet doesn't fit the next contest. If it does I will shamelessly CTRL+C, CTRL+V this sheet in that thread. Anyway, here it goes. It's a pretty wacky one. Those are my favorites

    Berserker of the Silent Era

    Source
    Info
    Gender: Male
    Alignment: Lawful Neutral
    Likes: Filmmaking, Comedy, Trains, Creative Independence
    Dislikes: Prohibitive Contracts
    From: Golden Age of Hollywood
    Parameters and Skills
    STR: -
    END: EX
    AGI: -
    MGI: -
    LCK: EX

    Class Skills

    Mad Enhancement
    N/A - The Class Skill that characterizes a Berserker, raising basic parameters and strengthens one's physical abilities in exchange for hindering mental capacities and/or in exchange for their sense of reason. Berserker doesn't have access to this skill. Instead, his mental state is affected by the Innocent Monster and Determination of Steel skills.

    Personal Skills

    Ukemi
    EX - The mastering of the art of falling codified by those martial artists that follow the Gentle Way. It allows one survive through great falls and throws without so much of a scratch. Very useful for aspiring stuntmen. Though not a martial artist in any traditional way, Berserker is undeniably the greatest master of this technique that he learned more or less instinctively. His Mastery is such that he is able to reduce all damage from falls and throws to virtually zero. It gets to such comically large levels that he is able to fall from the stratosphere and end up with just some dust in his clothes

    Determination of Steel
    EX - A composite skill, combining the effects of the Bravery and Calm and Collected Skills, that allows one to completely ignore pain and endure superhuman speeds. Berserker gains this skill thanks to his Innocent Monster skill. For Berserker it's not like he doesn't feel pain. If he could answer normally he would be quick to say that he feels pain. Though this skills greatly enhances his pain resistance the real effect of this skill in Berserker more akin to a curse of determination. When Berserker sets an objective for himself, he will be unable to stop seeking it, becoming something close to a particularly clumsy killer robot from the future, being able to stop

    Innocent Monster
    A - This is an attribute possessed by Servants whose true history and existence have been distorted by the reputations and gossips they accrued across the course of their life and thereafter, without concern for the actual person's will or appearance. As a consequence, the Servant's abilities and appearance have been rendered to conform to the specifications of their legend. Incidentally, this Personal Skill cannot be removed. Much like a certain famous writer, Keaton is affected by the influence of its audience. But while the Curse of the Readers is something that relies on the fertile imagination of its readers, the nature of Berserker's curse is something directly enforced by the Servant work in his life. Berserker was an actor known to play a certain type of role. This typecasting was so strong that his legendary work is synonymous with that image. So when summoned as a Servant, Berserker has that identity enforced upon his existence. Berserker gains the skills he showcases in his work(Boxing, Riding, Acrobatics and so on) and is unable to talk and show much emotion at all, with his face being forever stuck on a deadpanned expression.
    Personality
    Berserker of the Silent Era is a curious servant. He is, first of all, a mute, being physically unable to speak. He communicates almost entirely by his great use of body language, being a genius pantomimer, which contrasts with his facial expressions, or more correctly his lack of facial expression. Berserker's face rests in a still as a stone expression. It takes him great effort to showcase a small smile or tear so out of convenience he mostly keeps his stone face on at all times with only very very small adjustments in it occasionally like an eyebrow-raising or a frown. Nevertheless, through his body language, he is able to convey an incredible amount of emotions. A subtle raise of his elbows, a small adjustment of his posture and a tiny gesture of his hands are all that he needs to convey the most subtle of emotions. When he absolutely needs to convey more detailed pieces of information he makes use of writing to pass them, though he always feels dejected when he needs to. In long interactions, it's possible to notice that Berserker has a sense of pride on himself and his conversational partners when they are able to spend long minutes without having to use writing to communicate with each other. He feels even prouder when he is able to spend time together with someone in complete silence.

    Berserker is what could be called a monster of obstination. Though at face value he might be seen as someone with very little emotion, inside he is someone burning with fighting spirit, even though he is not someone who would join a direct fight per say. Berserker much, unlike his class, says prefers indirect physical confrontation relying on the effects of his Noble Phantasm, but his concentration will always be a laser focus on his current objective.
    True Identity and Biography
    Berserker of the Silent Era true identity is that of one of the legendary comedians of the Golden Age of Hollywood alongside "Glasses" Harold Lloyd and "The King of Comedy" Charlie Chaplin: "The Great Old Stone Face" Buster Keaton. More specifically, he is not Buster Keaton, the director, though that is definitively a part of him, but Buster Keaton, the character. As in the great deadpan everyman that defined his entire filmography.

    Buster Keaton was born as Joseph Frank Keaton in October of 1885, the son of a couple of traveling vaudevillian clowns, where he quickly showed his great pain resistance and his instinctive ability to take falls. According to the legends, he gained his nickname as 6 months old infant after laughing it off a great tumble under a flight of stairs. 14 months later and he was sucked out of his bedroom by a Tornado, spun around in the debris and set him down unharmed in an empty field. Legends or not Buster ability was noted by his father who quickly put him on his family vaudevillian show under the act of the "The Little Boy Who Can't Be Damaged", where his father would pick him up and throw him at the walls, the furniture, and the audience. It was doing this act that Buster learned that keeping a straight still as a stone face while being thrashed around would be funnier than any other reaction. So naturally his artistic persona started to grow: you fall hard, you get right back up; the girl doesn’t love you, do what you can and wait until she does. He did not cry and he would not smile. And even when things worked out, it was clear that it was a matter of time before the world around his character exploded again. Even then Buster marched on through pain and hardships with the grace of a gymnast, clumsiness of a clown and the determination of a machine.

    Though not as popular as his good friend Charlie Chaplin, his duo work with his friend Roscoe "Fatty" Arbuckle, his solo shorts and his eventual lengthy features managed to paint this ideal, through gasps and laughs, of a the everyman, that from misery and despair, soldiers on with the blank facial expression that is distant enough to create laughs but also emotional enough to create sympathy. His work is legendary and lionized after death it has influenced and continues to influence a generation of viewers who swear upon his grave the superiority of his work over "The King of Comedy" own. It would be no exaggeration to say that Buster was the greatest Stuntman in history, being able to transform his daredevil acts in beautiful works filled with danger, laughter, and hearts.

    But alas, in life his moviemaking career was not stars. As his movies start to become more and more ambitious, their revenue starts to become too small to cop for the prices of his movies. Suddenly the man sees himself forced to sign a contract with the big shot production company MGM, an act that the man would call in his later years the worst mistake of his life. By signing this contract, Keaton had lost his artistic freedom: He was unable to make the movies he wanted; he was unable to improvise in the set; he HAD to use Stunt Doubles. By the time Keaton saw himself free of that contract the man was past the prime of his life, he found himself depressed, having marital affairs and fighting alcoholism. The man continued to make movies and shorts, but age was finally getting it to him and those falls that never hurt were started to affect him now. And though in his later years he was rediscovered by the media and lionized by his efforts, he semi-retired working in smaller productions until passing away from Cancer in 1985 at the age of 1966.

    As a Servant, Buster is summoned not as the lively and hotheaded filmmaker but as the silent and obstinate "Great Stone Face" character that made his work so famous through the ages. But it would be very unlikely for Buster to willingly accept being summoned as a Servant. As someone who very much values his sense of freedom being placed in another contract just brings him bad memories of his work alongside MGM. And even summoned as a Berserker that animosity still is core to his personality. The relationship between Buster and a possible Master would be a very tense one with the servant not necessarily trying to bring harm to his contractor, but certainly not working with his usual determination or even trying to escape his contract. Incidentally, when first summoned his wish for the grail would be to leave the Throne of Heroes to stop future summons. Buster is at the core, however, a good person, and will put behind his wishes of independence if faced against someone who might bring harm to innocent people, and will not stop until those people are safe from danger.
    Noble Phantasm
    My Wonderful World of Slapstick
    Oh That's a Real Buster!

    This is Berserker only Noble Phantasm and the basis for his entire existence. It's the Crystallization of Buster's entire lifetime as a person, a clown, a filmmaker and a hero. It's truly the reason why Keaton's existence as a heroic spirit is even possible. In short terms, it's essentially Keaton's great credo about filmmaking enforced: "To never fake a gag". Essentially all of his gags and stunts had to be done by him in one take in one clear shot. That was the only way his movies would gain the reality he wanted. This base, in reality, would ensure that the audience would gently fall deep into Buster's own world, and once they are deep into that world, Keaton's characters would real constructs in the mind of the audience. The truth is that the Cinema, as a certain American scientist is able to showcase, was one of the great responsible for the complete death of the Mystery. The Moving Pictures with the ability to teach and to showcase entire different worlds to the audience has normalized the fantastical to such an extent that concepts of immeasurable energy are reduced into nothingness. Keaton's work is however singular in his belief of the fantastical realism. When someone sees Keaton's work there is no doubt that it's the clown taking all those falls, all those bumps, all those strikes. There is absolutely no faking. Keaton fights against real tangible death in all of his movies. and pain is as much of a humanizer as a mystifier. And that's something that Keaton knew instinctively since the very beginning of his existence as a 6 months old infant when he tumbled down a long flight of stairs laughing and smiling, only to stop at the bottom of the stairs right in front of the King of Illusionists Harry Houdini who could only look stupefied and say: "That was a real buster!"

    This Noble Phantasm is a continuously active Reality Marble, that is deployed the exact moment that Buster is summoned. The Reality Marble spends the size of a small American city and is extremely subtle in its deployment. It's so subtle in fact that one could barely call it a Reality Marble in the first place. Instead of transporting people into a different world or projecting a structure on top Gaia's World, Buster manages to merge his world into Gaia's World in such way that the two become one. In practical terms, Keaton's world is completely similar to the real world but with a singular rule added to it: Buster has Infinite Ward Saves. Whenever Buster finds himself in a dangerous situation, he can make as much Luck Checks as he wants to miraculously escape from it relatively unharmed. The protection caused by this Noble Phantasm isn't detected as magecraft as it comes directly from the world. Gaia perceives that extra role and influences the world in such a way that Keaton is able to escape from danger. This is a simple but incredibly powerful ability, that makes Berserker virtually invincible, but this Noble Phantasm has two caveats. The first is that while Gaia will conspire in his favor, he has no control over the end result of his Noble Phantasm. Gaia might direct a fatal blow towards the ground, and while he might be directly damaged by it, he would still fall through it and have to deal with the fall himself. It isn't uncommon for him to have to do multiple wards saves as Gaia starts saving him only to put him in an even more dangerous situation. The second point is that with additional Ward Save required the higher will be the cost to maintain the Reality Marble.Normally the Reality Marble cost is almost inexistent as Gaia itself maintains it and because his Luck Status is astronomically high, Keaton is able to safely escape most situations in his first save, but as situations become increase in danger, Keaton has to somehow spend prana to force a new ward save without warning Gaia about the existence of his Reality Marble. As more and more ward saves are needed the Reality Marble will start to become more and more apparent for the people inside it, as the world starts to lose color and flicker becoming very similar to the old silent movies of Keaton's time.

    Even with these two caveats, this is still an incredibly strong ability that is able to carry Keaton through a lengthy Grail War. However, it has no real offensive application with one single exception. Keaton might decide to sacrifice himself, in an act meant to represent the increasingly ambitious stunt work by spending of all of his prana to create one last amazing setpiece. Here his Reality Marble is activated in its full force, transforming the world in a flickering, soundless world of black & white. Keaton here has the ability to transfigure his world at will. He can flicker things in and out of existence, in an effect very similar to the ability that certain elementals have. However, he does not the complete freedom of power that they have. All that Keaton can create in and out of existence is related to a big "set piece". Keaton will rearrange the world in such a way to create a last big stunt. That stunt might be the explosion of a building, the breaking down of a bridge or even the sudden appearance of a devastating cyclone. Keaton will always successfully survive through this stunt saving whomever he wants to save, however those who don't will find themselves in the middle of this big setpiece having to fend for themselves purely through skills and status. They can't be impossible setpieces as Keaton has to make through them, however, Keaton is not the King of Stunts and while there are many Heroic Spirits with physical abilities that surpasses the filmmaker, not everyone can survive the entire actively conspiring against them like Buster can.

    Nevertheless either if Buster uses this ability or if he is unable to handle the cost of the Ward Saves the Reality Marble will break down and so will too Buster Keaton, as a Servant he is meant to represent the character, and no matter how realistic the character is, they are not creatures that can exist in the real world
    A+ - Anti-Fortress
    Craft Essences and Releations
    ...And The House Falls Down
    Roll, Camera, Action.
    The man gets up from the under the bed and the only thing he can do is trusts the calculations.
    While he stands, with an absent-minded expression sculpted on his face, he can only reminisce about his past
    He went through a very similar experience was an infant.
    His house in Kansas; the impossibly loud noise; the wind ripping apart the seams of his house; the loss of control; the debris brushing through him
    And a complete sense of bliss as the wind gently carried him through the air.
    And now in his last work as a freeman, he willingly recreates that moment.
    He had to sign that contract to continue doing what he loved, but he knew nothing was ever going to be the same
    The man look at his crew and none of them look back. Even after all those calculations and reassurances from him they all still fear for his life
    In those last moments, he just wishes he could crack a smile, but the cameras are ever vigilant.
    He survived the tornado of his past, and he will survive the tornado of his making.


    Heracles; Caligula; Darius; Bloodaxe...
    "▂▂▂▂▃▃▃▃▅▅"
    "Silence is of the gods; only monkeys chatter" is a phrase much used when talking about Berserker's life work. Keaton would pride himself on being the director with the least number of subtitles per film. So when he met those fellow berserkers that are, for a lack of a better word, not as eloquent as others he can't help but get very happy when interacting with them. Being able to enjoy each other company without speaking a single word is truly Berserker's idea of heaven. On the other hand, he is very disappointed with the others, more chatty berserkers. He doesn't hold other people accountable when it comes to following his rule of silence, but he can't help but feel that those Heroic Spirits are tarnishing the reputation of the more respectable & deligent Berserkers with those awful mannerisms.

    The Kings
    "Hum, it's an interesting work, but our Sir Dagonet is better"
    Kings like Arthur, Gilgamesh, Iskandar and so on are used to seeing Court Jesters in their life, so they are all relatively interested in Keaton line of work and comedy style. They like seeing him perform but are very opinionated about Berserker's work. When they get together to watch a work of him, they can't help but discuss who had the best comedian on their court. Keaton doesn't mind them but finds it tiring watching them bicker about the various styles presents in each court. Incidentally, it seems that Altria likes physical comedy, Iskandar likes them more raunchy and Gilgamesh is very much a fan of black comedy.

    Mephistopheles
    "Hahahaha, a fellow clown!! I'm older than you but you're the more experienced one in our line of work huh? I hope you guide me Senpai!"
    Berserker finds Mephistopheles, for a lack of a better word, repulsive. For career comedians, to be a clown is a serious affair, a sacred duty to bring smiles to people's lives. How each clown brings those smiles is something that the individual has to perfect on its own, and while a comedian can disagree with their methods they will deny each other efforts. Mephistopheles who dresses as a clown, but is out to amuse himself, is the antithesis of a comedian spirit. Buster can't tolerate such an existence. Though unfortunately for him, after noticing the arrival of a fellow Clown, Mephistopheles got strangely attached to the silent comedian and continues to follow him ruining his peace and quiet. The duo can be seen at times bickering in a manner not much different from certain comedy duos with Buster playing a rare "Straight Man" role
    Creator Notes
    A sheet that I was sitting on for a VERY long time. I had this idea soon after reading about that one bit of Fate/Strange Fake where Sigma tells people that his servant was the "King of Comedy" Charlie Chaplin. I was on a heavy Jackie Chan binge and after reading about some of his inspirations and watching some of Keaton's work I decided to give it a try. It was very difficult for me to create the details of this sheet and I quickly gave up on it after deciding it was either going to be an Assassin or Berserker, as I didn't want for him to be another artist caster. I stopped working on this sheet for like 6 months before I came back to it three days ago when I decided to finish up some ideas. Here are some notes about his creation:

    1 - The status is probably the most unusual part of the sheet. It was inspired by Fate/Koha-Ace's Maxwell Demon. Full disclosure: I have no idea how the "-" status actually work. I wanted however to enforce the idea of someone whose only good qualities were his luck and resistance. He has, with the exception of his suicide attack, absolutely no offensive abilities relying entirely on his toughness to keep going. All of his skills were chosen with that in mind. On a side-note, The Gentle Way portrayed in the Ukemi skill is, of course, Judo and it is remnants of an old idea that I still plan on coming back to.

    2 - His personality and lore came somewhat naturally. I fear I might have repeated myself somewhat while writing it. I wanted to make sure that what we see is Buster the character and not Buster the person. Of course, that part is still inside of him, that why he hate contracts and is aware enough to see himself as a Clown.

    3 - The Noble Phantasm was a tough balancing act. I really struggled with the implementation of it and it's actual effects. I knew that I wanted Buster bumbling through a Grail War but I was unsure on how to make this ability "fair and balanced". Some of the ideas were: Buster can spend money to pass through checks; Buster can use his Luck parameter in any kind of check (STR, AGI, Magic Resistance and so on...). Those never felt elegant for me. I landed on the Ward Saves and decided to stay with that idea.

    4 - This is the first sheet that I wrote Relationships and Bond CEs and, wew, those were the hardest part. Even though this could easily be considered fanfics when you stop to think about it, I'm no fanfic writer and I really struggle to write personality traits with preexistent characters, so those short lines about the cash cow likes physical comedy were the hardest part for me to feel "good" about it. I even struggle with my very own characters. I'm not particularly happy about that Bond CE.

    5 - While I was on the eleventh hour finishing the last bits of this sheet rethinking if Berserker was truly a good pick, I suddenly remembered of Terry Pratchett's Moving Pictures and it's Eldritch Chtinema and thought about making him a Foreigner. However outside of that book, I have never read anything "Lovecraftian" and a quick search through the Internet, I never really found any Creature to link with Keaton. However, I do think that's a good idea and I'm sad that I was not able to use it.

    6 - On a side note about the structure of this sheet, I like the thing where you try to hide the identity of the Heroic Spirit, giving some hints until you finally drop it. I still don't have the perfect structure for it, and I know that people (at least I do that) just jump straight into the Identity of the servant before actually reading the sheet but I think I'll try to follow this formula for now on. I kind of struggled with thinking on a subtitle for this servant. I was either going with "Of the Silent Era" or "Of the Silver Screen". Decided to stay with Silent Era for no real reason


    I appreciate all the feedback that I can get.
    Last edited by JetKinen; January 28th, 2018 at 09:04 PM.

    Fate Grand/Order ID: 102947414/GreenBob
    JetKinen's tries very poorly to translate a brazilian book

  11. #9011
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six Bird of Hermes's Avatar
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    I didn't say anything on your Flamel because I thought it was fine. Not spectacular but nothing bad about it.

    No news is good news.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by JetKinen View Post
    I don't know how you mothefuckers can shit quality sheets so fast.
    Trial and error, i've crapped out loads and as a result some have been actual crap and I've (mostly) learnt from 'em.

    Expect a full review at a later point after I read yours.

  12. #9012
    Tranquilo, Japones, Tranquilo JetKinen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Crying View Post
    Gonna start trying to post again. Have a Caster that I'm working on. Might do a remake of either Alaric I or Bismark. Might also go back and give some more flavour to Jerusalem-tan.

    Anybody have any ideas for figures who could have illusionary Skills/NPs? I kind of want to do a Servant with one, but I can't think of anyone who'd have one.
    Oh, and any figures who have extra arms would be cool too, but thats a secondary priority. Every multi-limbed figure from legend that I can find tend to be divine spirits or monsters or something else that isn't suitable to be a Servant.

    --Edit--

    Okay, upon reading through a bunch of profiles and stuff in this thread, I now feel like anything I can possibly make is highly inadequate and I shouldn't even bother. All of you need to stop being talented - or at least stop wasting it on stuff like this. Go write a book or something, jesus....
    Houdini

    Fate Grand/Order ID: 102947414/GreenBob
    JetKinen's tries very poorly to translate a brazilian book

  13. #9013
    love warrior <3 world-0 the god of world-0's Avatar
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    Are you sugesting a sheet or praising his skill of escaping the madness that is the game?


    here is a list of my servant sheets(new and improved format for my servant sheets)

    Come explore the White Library, and reach the bottom of this Abyss
    Fate / White Memoria

  14. #9014
    Tranquilo, Japones, Tranquilo JetKinen's Avatar
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    Make of that what you will

    Fate Grand/Order ID: 102947414/GreenBob
    JetKinen's tries very poorly to translate a brazilian book

  15. #9015
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six Bird of Hermes's Avatar
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    Berserker of the Silent Era: Alright lets see-
    • Creative idea? Check
    • Well written? Check
    • In depth? Check
    • All the different components meshing together? Check


    Ya smashed the checklist for a fine as hell re-entry into the game.

  16. #9016
    死者 The Dead
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shiki View Post
    would like to share something in regards with the Curse of Man.. I think those with divinity or not purely human must have a lesser effect on them because they are not actually a pure descendant from him. I think the effect of it that it will take a longer time before it get affect on this beings is not enough. It doesn't make a sense that those who are demi-humans be affected by that curse where is they are not purely related to him and there attribute is not just contained to Man.
    That's a good idea. I added it in. I think Adam would be a disadvantage. His skills require the enemy to be related. I do think he would pity Angra a lot though.
    I've revised Adam, anyone have any thoughts?
    Last edited by Biamwput; January 29th, 2018 at 12:18 AM.

  17. #9017
    Dead Apostle Eater Historia's Avatar
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    =LANCER=




    Artist: https://www.deviantart.com/solkorra

    Possible Alternate Classes: Saber, Berserker
    True Name: Celtchar mac Uthidir - The Tall and Terrible Fury of the Ulster
    Gender: Female
    Height/Weight: 176 cm / 69 kg
    Alignment: Chaotic Good
    Place of Origin: Ireland (The Ulster Cycle)

    Feed the Fire by coldrain

    =Parameters=

    Strength: A
    Endurance: C
    Agility: B
    Mana: C
    Luck: E
    NP: C

    =Class Skills=

    - Magic Resistance (B):
    cancel spells with a chant below three verses. Even if targeted by High-Thaumaturgy and Greater Rituals, it is difficult for her to be affected.

    =Personal Skills=

    - Slaughterer (A):
    akin to「Battle Continuation」in that one is able to keep fighting while suffering from life-threatening injuries.

    Specific to Lancer due to the nature of her spear, she cannot die easily and for every other blow received another is healed.

    - Bloodlust (A):
    a skill gained from possession of the spear which craves it.

    With each drawing of blood from her opponent, Lancer gains a slight boon in all parameters. If it is her own, her resistances across the board falter instead.

    Rank increases or decreases depending upon the severity of wounds inflicted or incurred.

    - Eye of the Mind (C, True):
    a heightened capacity for observation, refined through training and experience.

    The night before the final battle for Donn Cúailnge, Lancer predicted its outcome based upon her observations over the war's length.

    - Mystic Eyes (D):
    possession of mystic eyes of a low level.

    Gifted to her by her teacher, it was said they contained a fraction of the power to conceive another's death simply by sight alone.

    =Noble Phantasms=

    - Lúin of Celtchar (C, Anti-Unit):
    the spear belonging to Lancer after being thought to have been lost in battle. It is the infamous riveted, fiery, and poison-tipped spear that has tasted the mightiest of gods to the greatest of men.

    Held back by chains that keep it at bay. When thrown, it seeks out targets of its own volition unless specified by Lancer, capable of skewering a total of nine at once. The wounds it creates, if survived and left unchecked, slowly eat away at the victims from the inside out until death. After death, the victim's body burns to ash. If the chains are willingly broken by Lancer, the spear's true capacity is unleashed and it is free to tear through as many as it so desires—both allies and enemies alike. Regular wounds kill faster. Severe wounds light the victims on fire. Fatal wounds delivered result in spontaneous combustion. After death, in addition to the victim's body being reduced to ash, a moderate portion of their lifeforce is also consumed and transferred to the wielder of the spear.

    Once a divine weapon of mysterious origin with a mind of its own and even the ability to speak, countless years of lying upon the battlefield and soaking in the blood of both friend and foe ultimately took its toll. It is now a maddened weapon, unable to communicate any other thought than the blood it is cursed to forever thirst for. If in the unlikely event the curse is lifted and it is able to speak again, the spear becomes Areadbhair [1]—a foul-mouthed hothead with a very abrasive male personality.



    =Bio=

    A great warrior of Ulster and supreme champion of the Red Branch, Celtchar "Celty" mac Uthidir was raised and believed as male as the only heir to her family's fort Dún Lethglaise until Cet mac Mágach, a Connacht warrior, came to her household in arms and was thought to have emasculated her when she stood against him. It was then discovered that the heir was actually a heiress, and, while she was not seen as lesser than her male counterparts after the fact, she would have a harder time gaining any sort of recognition for her deeds on and off the battlefield—even being favored among the warriors trained by a certain undying witch inhabiting a shadowy fortress outside of the World alongside spear-siblings Cú Chulainn and Ferdiad didn't do her much good [2]—until, one day, she chanced upon and came into the inheritance of a weapon long thought lost: Areadbhair, the Slaughterer. Said by some to have been used by Lugh to defeat Balor, it was said that 'no battle was ever sustained against it, or against the man who held it in his hand'. With it in her possession, her fury intensified ten-fold and, eventually, helped to gain her the recognition she had (literally) climbed over the bodies of her enemies to deserve and became her Lúin. She, in turn, became the Ulster's fury; like a raging storm, formidable and more ferocious in all that she did—her fervor for violence greater than any other save for Cú Chulainn in his ríastrad state. The woman warrior had finally achieved her dream.

    But, some dreams do not last forever, and, after wrongfully murdering Blaí Briugu, a fellow warrior of Ulster, in rage because of his geas which required him to sleep with any woman who stayed in his hostel unaccompanied [3]. She was banished and only allowed back if she rid Ulster of three menaces, as recompense; all, of which, brought her unimaginable shame.

    First, was the killing of Conganchnes mac Dedad, a warrior from outside Ulster whose skin no weapon could pierce, who sought revenge for the death of his nephew Cú Roí. Celtchar murdered him in his sleep by hammering red hot spits into the soles of his feet. Second, was a hound called Luch Donn that had grown to an enormous size and became uncontrollable, killing its owner, her sons, and livestock and now roamed the countryside every night leaving destruction in its wake. Utilizing a hollowed alder log fitted around her arm, she pulled its heart out through its throat when its teeth got stuck biting into the log. Third, was Dóelchú, Celtchar's own hound. After her banishment, it was becoming like Luch Donn had, and, reluctantly, she was forced to put it to rest. In her carelessness and grief afterwards [4], finally cleared of her transgressions albeit at the cost of her pride and dearest companion, her spear pierced through her heart, killing her.

    And this was how Celtchar mac Uthidir met her end.

    [1] A gift from a Persian king, it was irresistible in battle and had to always be held under water. In other words, it was so much of an unruly bastard that eventually it was given to someone else to deal with.
    [2] Scáthach, whom fondly gave her the nickname "Celty".
    [3] Lancer is very, very prideful.
    [4] Likes cute, fuzzy animals. Especially dogs. Don't tell anyone.
    Last edited by Historia; May 22nd, 2019 at 01:41 PM.

  18. #9018
    All of Your Sadness Crying's Avatar
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    Class: Caster
    Alternate Classes: Ruler, Saver
    Master:
    True Name: Moses, Prophet and Saviour of Israel
    Sex: Male
    Height/Weight: 170cm/63kg
    Alignment: Neutral Good
    Likes: His Family, Egypt (nostalgia), Ramesses II
    Dislikes: His Past, His Duty, Stubbornness, Pridefulness
    Talents: Divining the Will of God
    Natural Enemy: Ramesses II, Angel of Death

    Appearance

    Personally, I like him better in the Prince of Egypt movie, but this is his canon appearance.


    Stats
    Strength: D
    Endurance: E
    Agility: E
    Magical Energy: A+
    Luck: E
    Noble Phantasm: A


    Skills
    Class Skills:
    Item Construction: C-
    The Skill to manufacture magical items, from implements of war to items for daily use. Also, this Skill requires time to gather components and manufacture items. Caster is known to have created several artefacts of Legendary, if not Divine, nature, however while doing this he was being guided by a higher power. Because Caster didn't create these objects himself, but rather was told how to do so by another, he only has a high enough rank in this Skill to create relatively minor holy items.

    Territory Creation: X
    The Skill to build a special terrain that is advantageous to oneself as a magus, such as for the purpose of collecting mana. The fact that Caster was never a true magus himself, combined with the fact that he spent a significant portion of his life leading his followers to a chosen land, without ever reaching it himself, has barred him from having this Skill.

    Personal Skills:
    Revelation: A
    The Skill to "hear the voice of heavens" and take optimum action. Equivalent to Instinct, a sixth sense regarding battles; however, it accommodates all matters related to the achievement of a goal (for instance, choosing the most suitable path while travelling). Caster received multiple commands and directions from their God dictating how they would best lead their people in life.

    Discernment of the Poor: B-
    The Skill that signifies the possession of insight that can see another's true character and attributes. Caster will rarely be deceived by excuses and deceptions from words. This expresses the power to grasp the true nature of the opponent faced by Caster, who gained a unique perspective on the life and values of the weak after discovering his origins and spending time among the Midianites. However, his attachment to his loved ones may cause him to overestimate the goodness they possess.

    Divine Protection: B
    A form of divine protection originating from the God of the Abrahamic faiths, it bears some resemblance to the Protection of the Faith Skill. In Caster's case, this Skill functions by giving him the effects of a C-Rank in Miracle and Clairvoyance.

    Jacob's Limbs: C
    A method of hand-to-hand combat of old that was semi-continuously inherited by significant followers of the Lord, originating with Jacob and ending with Saint Martha. According to legends, one who has mastered this combat-style would be capable of killing a host of angels lead by an 'angel of destruction'. At this Rank, it is possible to subdue all manners of foes, including Phantasmal and Divine Beasts, but not Dragons, Demons or 'true monsters'. Caster's original Rank in this Skill was A, however it has been reduced due to the Class he has been summoned under.


    Noble Phantasms
    Staff of the Shepherd, Thou Shalt do Signs: B~A (Anti-???)
    Originally a simple rod used by Moses to work as a shepherd for the Midianites, upon his meeting with God it was blessed so as to work as a tool to perform his miracles. It has the same origin as a cruciform snake staff which originates from Leviathan, or perhaps Lotan, and serves primarily as a symbol of Moses' act of parting the Red Sea. It makes the environment around Moses transformative like water, allowing him to perform feats such as the aforementioned splitting of the sea as well as creating pillars of flame, splitting mountains and forming tornados.

    It is also capable of tapping even further into its origin and transforming into a snake - or perhaps sea serpent or dragon - which qualifies as a Divine Beast of intermediate strength. The Shepherd's Staff is normally indestructible, but if it sufficiently damaged while in its snake form it will break and become unusable for the rest of the Holy Grail War. With the exception of when he is summoned as a Saver, Moses will find that using the abilities of this Noble Phantasm will be much harder than in life due to the fact that Alaya/the Counterforce is no longer empowering him.

    The Plagues, Ten Scourges of Egypt: A+ (Variable (Minimum: Anti-City, Maximum: Anti-Civilization))
    A Noble Phantasm that Moses despises the existence of due to what it meant and did in his life, he will use it only when it is absolutely necessary. Arguably his strongest Noble Phantasm, due to being much more practical to use than Ark, The Plagues is a ten-stage mystery that is incapable of targeting an individual as it is built around the concept of 'punishing someone by making their people suffer'. In life, Moses targeted 'Egypt' with it due to Ramesses II refusing to free the Hebrews from slavery and, in a Holy Grail War, when used against an enemy Servant the target would be 'their domain' rather than the Servant themselves.

    At minimum, the effects of The Plagues would be called down upon the city that the Grail War is being fought in while, at maximum, the effects would strike against the entirety of Japan. However, when used against an enemy that is 'a King' then the Maximum raises further and strikes against not only the area that the Servant currently controls but also their domain in life. For example, if Moses were to call down the Ten Scourges of Egypt against King Arthur, then the territory that comprised her kingdom in life would also experience the effects of his Noble Phantasm.

    The ten stages of The Plagues are as follows; first, all water within the area that the Noble Phantasm is effecting turns to blood and any life within it starts to die off (water sources that the magical energy can't reach, such as water sealed inside containers, will remain unaffected). Second, third and fourth, plagues of frogs, gnats and flies respectively swarm the area. Fifth, all livestock within the targeted land begin succumbing to diseases, one of which, a skin plague, will then spread to humans as the sixth stage of the Noble Phantasm. A great storm of thunder, fire and hail will then roll by and damage structures, followed by an almighty swarm of locusts that blot out the sun and devour everything within their path, will come as the seventh and eight plagues. The ninth stage will cause the sun to disappear behind clouds and bring intense darkness to the land. Then, as the final tenth stage, an angel of death and destruction will descend upon the land and kill the first child born to those within the Noble Phantasm's effected area, regardless of gender or species.

    The Plagues will only end when it has either run its course, achieved its reason for being started or is no longer supplied by mana from Moses. As such, if Moses' enemies wish for the Noble Phantasm to end early, they must either slay him or have the one who forced Moses to use this Noble Phantasm give into his demands - which, in a Holy Grail War, would likely be to kill themselves (if they are the Servant) or their Servant (if they are the Master). By writing a certain symbol in blood on their doors, however, it is possible for one to protect themselves from the effects of the Noble Phantasm.

    Ark, the Ark of Covenant: EX (Covenant)
    A Noble Phantasm that Moses only possess while in the Saver and Ruler Classes, Ark is a wooden box that contains the original engravings of the Ten Commandments made by Moses on God's orders. As a Noble Phantasm, its effect is narrow but absolute; besides the Servant that summoned it in the first place, anyone who touches the box without authorization will have their magical energy drained until death. Even the strongest of 'death preventing abilities' like Heracles' God Hand will be overcome by the Ark of Covenant, making it one of the most powerful "one hit kill moves" in existence.

    Unlike other possessors of Ark, Moses gets to decide when and where it will spawn. Once it is spawned, however, it will be left as a physical existence - unable to be de-summoned or astralized - and will need to be either left where it sits or physically carried to a new location. If another Servant that possessed Ark as a Noble Phantasm was summoned into the same was as Moses, Moses' version will take priority over theirs in terms of existence as he is the original owner, however they might retain the ability to touch it without being destroyed. If a Divine Spirit, an avatar of the world, where to touch the Ark of Covenant a massive calamity would take place as the entire world begins to have its magical energy drained away.


    As Ruler
    Strength: D
    Endurance: D
    Agility: D
    Magical Energy: A
    Luck: E
    Noble Phantasm: A+

    Class Skills:
    Magic Resistance: C
    Grants protection against magical effects. Differing from the Resistance effect that merely rejects Magical Energy, this ability cancels the spells altogether. This rank can cancel spells with a chant below two verses, but it cannot defend against magecraft on the level of High-Thaumaturgy and Greater Rituals. Moses really only possess this Skill due to being summoned as a Ruler.

    True Name Discernment: C
    A Skill where status information such as one's identity, Skills and Parameters are automatically revealed to the owner of this Skill when directly encountering a Servant. At this rank, during a direct encounter, a Servant's true name and entire status information will be automatically revealed. The identity of Servants with concealment abilities will have to be discovered normally, however.

    God's Resolution: A+
    The Skill and privilege of the Ruler presiding over the Holy Grail War; the right to use Command Spells against Servants, given only to Rulers. At this rank two Command Spells can be used for each Servant participating in the Holy Grail War. The Command Spells of others can be re-purposed.

    Personal Skills:
    Revelation: A+
    The Skill to "hear the voice of heavens" and take optimum action. Equivalent to Instinct, a sixth sense regarding battles; however, it accommodates all matters related to the achievement of a goal (for instance, choosing the most suitable path while travelling). Ruler received multiple commands and directions from their God dictating how they would best lead their people in life. They have received a '+' due to their Ruler Class reflecting them better as the Prophet of the Lord.

    Discernment of the Poor: C
    The Skill that signifies the possession of insight that can see another's true character and attributes. Ruler is unlikely to be deceived by excuses and deceptions from words. This expresses the power to grasp the true nature of the opponent faced by Ruler, who gained a unique perspective on the life and values of the weak after discovering his origins and spending time among the Midianites.

    Divine Protection: A-
    A form of divine protection originating from the God of the Abrahamic faiths, it bears some resemblance to the Protection of the Faith Skill. In Caster's case, this Skill functions by giving him the effects of a B-Rank in Miracle and a C-Rank in Clairvoyance.

    Jacob's Limbs: A
    A method of hand-to-hand combat of old that was semi-continuously inherited by significant followers of the Lord, originating with Jacob and ending with Saint Martha. According to legends, one who has mastered this combat-style would be capable of killing a host of angels lead by an 'angel of destruction'. At this Rank it is possible to subdue most foes, including Daemons and low-level Divine Spirits.


    As Saver
    Strength: C
    Endurance: D
    Agility: E
    Magical Energy: A
    Luck: E
    Noble Phantasm: A+

    Class Skills:
    Charisma: B-
    A composite Skill consisting of a person's charm as well as the natural talent to command or unify an army or country. Increases the ability of allies during group battles. While Saver was capable of leading the Hebrews from the promised land he was 'slow of tongue' and needed his brother to serve as his voice in order to convince them of his Revelations.

    Counter Hero: C
    A Skill that reduces the parameters of the statistics of 'heroes' that the Servant faces in combat. It’s less effective against 'anti-heroes'. At Rank-C, it reduces all of the opponent’s parameters by one rank, while 'anti-heroes' only have a negative modifier applied.

    Personal Skills:
    Enlightenment of the Burning Bush: EX
    This Skill renders protection to one who has realized 'the Truth of the World' or 'the Answer of Humanity' - a Protection Against Purging that marks the Servant as a 'Protector of the World'. Unconditionally reduces the damage dealt by physical attacks, conceptual attacks, and interdimensional attacks by a value equivalent to the Servant's total health. This Skill also serves as a composition of A-Rank Revelation, Miracle and B-Rank Clairvoyance. Saver is the 4th Prophet of Judaism and Christianity, the 14th Prophet of Islam and one of the only humans, if not the only one, to have ever actually seen "God" and lived.

    Discernment of the Poor: B
    The Skill that signifies the possession of insight that can see another's true character and attributes. Saver will rarely be deceived by excuses and deceptions from words. This expresses the power to grasp the true nature of the opponent faced by Saver, who gained a unique perspective on the life and values of the weak after discovering his origins and spending time among the Midianites.

    Jacob's Limbs: B
    A method of hand-to-hand combat of old that was semi-continuously inherited by significant followers of the Lord, originating with Jacob and ending with Saint Martha. According to legends, one who has mastered this combat-style would be capable of killing a host of angels lead by an 'angel of destruction'. At this Rank it is possible to subdue most foes, including Dragons and 'true monsters'. Saver's Rank in this Skill has been reduced for unknown reasons, with his original Rank being A.


    Lore/Personality
    Moses was initially born to an Israelite family, however, the ruling Pharaoh, Seti I ordered for all male Israelite children to be drowned in the river Nile. To escape this fate, Moses' mother hid him in a basket near some bulrushes and sent him down the river where he was found and adopted by Seti I's daughter. After this point, Moses was raised alongside Rameses II like a brother and the two became friends.

    When Moses became an adult, he accidentally killed an Egyptian who was hurting one of the slaves and was forced to abandon his princely life. After discovering the truth of his identity from God on Mount Horeb and being ordered to rescue Israelites, Moses returned to his homeland. When Moses told Ramesses II to free the Israelites, Ramesses II refused. So, Moses set off the 10 Plagues of Egypt. Ramesses finally agreed with Moses' request when the Pharaoh's firstborn son was killed by the final plague.

    However, despite not bearing any ill will or hatred towards Moses, Ramesses still felt anger due to his son's death. One of Ramesses II's advisers persuaded him to lead a legion of charioteers to attack Moses and the leaving Israelites. When Moses saw the coming troops he displayed the miracle of God by parting the Red Sea and lead his people across it. Seeing that miracle, Rider decided to simply let his surrogate brother and once closest friend go, and bid him a farewell.

    Moses has incredibly fond memories of his time in Egypt, raised amongst the royal family, and while he doesn't regret discovering the truth and leaving nor freeing the Hebrews and leading them to the Promised Land, he does regret the way it all ended - specifically what he had to do to his old home and family. As a Saver and a Ruler he is beyond this sadness and has simply been summoned to fix the Grail War, but as a Caster he has allowed his desires to get the better of him and has a wish; to undo the Ten Plagues and the damage they did. What he intends by this is to change things so that Ramesses II agreed to free the slaves without needing his son to die first, but if the Grail he has been summoned by is corrupt, it may not go as he desires...

    Otherwise, Moses is a kind and friendly, if somewhat awkward and occasionally melancholic, man. He is often overly critical of himself due to his low self-esteem burgeoning from his stutter and the mistakes he made in life, but he will never let this consume him and will always be able to put on a smile for those around him. He is fond of children and highly reluctant to bring harm to one unless he has no other choice, and if he does so he will be greatly upset by what he did. Unless his Master is someone that he absolutely cannot get along with, he's unlikely to even consider betraying them.


    ---

    I wish that my sheets didn't quite look so much like a giant wall of text... ah well. Anyway, yeah, this is the Servant I'm using to jump back into making them and the Caster I mentioned before. I think that is acceptable, at the very least.

    If you spot any typos or anything, tell me so I can fix them up. Praise me please Feedback is appreciated, but not necessary.
    Last edited by Crying; April 4th, 2018 at 12:39 AM. Reason: Of course I only saw an error after posting it...
    My honest opinion regarding GO
    Its not very good. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that its bad. It offers very little to the Fate franchise in terms of quality - in fact, I'd argue that its content actually diminishes the quality of the franchise as a whole. A lot of its problems can be put down to the 'mobile game' format it uses, but that was a conscious decision on the part of its creators so it can't be used to shuffle off blame. And GO's problems that don't stem from it being a mobile game... I'm being polite by calling it a piece of trash. But... Nasu clearly had a blast writing/making it that I can't quite bring myself to hate it. Loathe it, sure, but not hate. That's too strong of an emotion. Only just, though.

    My Servants

    The starting penalty is five.

  19. #9019
    Lost in Paradise RoydGolden's Avatar
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    There's no need to berate your abilities Crying, that Moses sheet is actually pretty good. I like your take on the staff NP, which is nicely different then most versions I've seen before (taking inspiration from Meltlilith in CCC, I assume). The plague NP is obvious, but even then you made it more interesting by having it target an entire domain rather then just enemy Servants, which is far more fitting to the legend.

  20. #9020
    Dead Apostle Eater Historia's Avatar
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    Finished Daji.

    Thinking on it, within the Nasuverse aren't she and Tamamo no Mae one and the same? So I could spin this sheet further if I wanted, but, wouldn't it be more accurate to make this the girl she possessed as the Servant? I might have to re-think this. I should get more familiar with Extra and CCC.

    Oh, and I gave Celtchar some Mystic Eyes because why not. It fit.

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