Create-A-Servant 2

[Bloble]

One Question Shik-Pon how does look alike his capability set and Hougu in his other classes?

At all: What points should have a good Avenger(profil)? I ask this because i have a insane Avenja in my quiver who would be a bigger threat for a Sehaizenzo/Grailwar as Vlad in Vampire Dracule mood !

I made a Vlad Avenger a while back, though it's mostly a joke sheet. As has been said by others, he's not really a good fit for the class.

[Bird of Hermes]

I made a Vlad Avenger a while back, though it's mostly a joke sheet. As has been said by others, he's not really a good fit for the class.

If I was gonna make a younger Vlad, the only differences I'd make would have him be a Rider and give him a different NP, probably something like the charge of vampire bats his army used which contributed to the legend of dracula's powers.

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Might still do that at some point

[Kabalisto Koga]

Shiki-pon you have guessed the right meaning of my Question !

Bloble and others: I said Dracule Vlad only as Comparison and i made the two Pharaoh based on their importance and significance in their dynasty also inpoint of fame are also Karna and Arjuna quite unknown outside their homeland /culturspehre just like Setgos I and Sesostris I .
Ps: Their wouldnt been my last pharaohnic Servantprofile and i will show you in the the next days my Saladin !

[Hakuro]

Official Art of The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild

Class: Lancer
Alternative Classes: Caster, Assassin, Avenger
True Name: Macelo
Title: “The Last of the Telchines”, “Genius Demoness”
Source: Greek Mythology
Place of Origin: The Mediterranean
Alignment: Neutral Evil
Gender: Female
Likes: the ocean, cloudy days, thunderstorms
Dislikes: gods, humans, other life beings
Height: 152 cm
Weight: 44 kg

Lore

Macelo is a member of the ancient tribe of the Telchines, hybrids of fish and men whose magical abilities were incomparable. They were experts in the art of metalwork, working as the smiths of the gods before the birth of Hephaestus. Macelo principally was a favorite among the gods, being close to Zeus and Poseidon. Because of her position, she was even one of the chosen to craft a Divine Construct, the powerful trident of Poseidon. They started to grow and advance, although lacking empathy towards other life beings, like creating a sulfur-based substance capable of killing any animal or plant. However, it was only the start of their fall.

The advancements of their technology and magecraft threated the gods. For them, it was not impossible that that tribe could evolve enough to defy their authority. It did not took long for Poseidon, alongside Zeus, to destroy completely their island and civilization, sparing only one, the witch Macelo. Although the gods saw the act of sparing Macelo as mercy and piety for her, Macelo only grew grudge towards the gods.

Macelo most apt class would be Caster, and when summoned as a Lancer all of her skills have reduced ranks, and her parameters are low for a knight class. But it is only in this class that she can wield a Divine Construct capable of compensating her lack of skill in combat. And even being summoned in a knight class, when summoned in a Holy Grail War she would still act as a Caster, trying to avoid fights and prepare in advance her strategies.

Parameters and Skill

Parameters:
Strength – D
Endurance – E
Agility – D+
Mana – B
Luck – E
Noble Phantasm – A++

Class Skills:

Magic Resistance (A)
A skill that grants protection against magical effects. At this rank, it cancels spells of A-rank or bellow. In practice, Lancer is untouchable by modern magi. Being of a race of divine origins and high aptitude to magecraft, it is natural for Lancer to resist magical effects and spells.

Personal Skills:

Divinity (E)
The measure of whether one has a Divine Spirit aptitude or not. The Telchines are a race that share origins with titans and giants, and are even able to create artifacts of Divine Construct nature. Lancer originally possessed a higher rank of this Skill, but her hatred against the gods made it to be reduced to its current rank.

Item Construction (C++)
The skill to manufacture magical items. As a Lancer, she is not able to use this skill to the fullest. She is still able to create weapons comparable to a C-rank Noble Phantasm, but that would require around two weeks of dedication, impractical for a conventional Holy Grail War. The Telchines are extremely skilled at the creation of substances and armament, having worked for the gods before the birth of Hephaestus. If summoned as a Caster, this skill would be EX-ranked.

Telchines Magecraft (D)
The natural talent of the race of the Telchines in magecraft. Their high-advanced magecraft was even the cause of their ruin, as the gods felt threatened. At the current rank, Lancer is able to use magecraft compared to an average modern magus. If summoned as a Caster, this skill would be EX-ranked.

Noble Phantasm

Triaina Gaieokhos

Bringer of Calamity

Rank: A++
Anti-Fortress

The Telchines were the originals creators of one of the most known Divine Constructs used by the Greek Pantheon, the trident used by the sea-god Poseidon. Macelo was a member of the group that personally crafted the trident, and while in any myth she did not wielded it, she is able to be summoned with it just for the short time that it was in her hands.

The trident is a powerful Divine Construct, and just by touching it on the ground, it is able to create small earthquakes, while swinging it can bring a storm. Just for having it in hands, Lancer becomes a big threat, as the sole strength of this Noble Phantasm completely make for her very poor parameters.

By calling the Noble Phantasm true name, water will start to concentrate around the spear, and by throwing it as an harpoon it will generate a destruction that could be described as a “storm that no human ever witnessed”. It is the strongest technic Lancer can use, and it is the means used by Poseidon as a form of punishment against humans.

Telkhines Kataklysmos

Divine Punishment

Rank: EX
Anti-City Noble Phantasm

The second Noble Phantasm of Lancer, and it is only used as a last resource. It is a Reality Marble that recreates the last day of the Telchines race, as it was destroyed by the gods themselves aided.

It is a Noble Phantasm with a prerequisite for its activation. Right after its name is summoned, Lancer must relinquish of her trident, as it will be used as a catalyst for the reproduction of the calamitous event caused by it. The surroundings, as everyone in the area of effect will be transported to a lone island in ruins, with the sea and the skies dominated by a powerful storm, while waves and lightning destroy everything they touch.

The Reality Marble can be maintained while Lancer can supply the magical energy needed. This Noble Phantasm incorporates the “lone survivor” part of her myth, making it impossible to kill Lancer while inside it, however it can be said that when she finishes this technic, she is in a “1 Hit-Point” status, and any strike afterwards can be fatal if she is not properly healed.

[RoydGolden]

Macelo: In her lore section, when you say her tribe lacked "apathy" to other life, did you mean empathy? I feel like it would make more sense in that context. I also think that, if you're going to give her an entirely unique Magecraft Skill, it couldn't hurt to give her some detail on what kinds of spells she can cast and what makes hers different then other forms of Magecraft. Other then those minor critiques, it's a pretty cool sheet overall.

Appreciate the BOTW faceclaim by the way. Even if it's a bit ironic seeing the sweet girl-next-door Mipha used to portray what's basically a misanthropic arms-dealer.

[Hakuro]

Macelo: In her lore section, when you say her tribe lacked "apathy" to other life, did you mean empathy? I feel like it would make more sense in that context. I also think that, if you're going to give her an entirely unique Magecraft Skill, it couldn't hurt to give him some detail on what kinds of spells she can cast and what makes hers different then other forms of Magecraft. Other then those minor critiques, it's a pretty cool sheet overall.

Appreciate the BOTW faceclaim by the way. Even if it's a bit ironic seeing the sweet girl-next-door Mipha used to portray what's basically a misanthropic arms-dealer.

Thanks, I corrected the apathy/empathy stuff. And I will try to come with a better description to the Magicraft Skill.

[King of Padoru]

Shiki-pon you have guessed the right meaning of my Question !

Bloble and others: I said Dracule Vlad only as Comparison and i made the two Pharaoh based on their importance and significance in their dynasty also inpoint of fame are also Karna and Arjuna quite unknown outside their homeland /culturspehre just like Setgos I and Sesostris I .
Ps: Their wouldnt been my last pharaohnic Servantprofile and i will show you in the the next days my Saladin !

The thing with Karna and Arjuna is that, with fame boost or not, they were demigods throwing universe busters at each other with the whole Indian pantheon watching them fight. You can't really compare a Pharaoh like Sethos, whose lore would make him quite strong if he wasn't completely overshadowed by Ozymandias, with two of the strongest mythological heroes to ever exist. If you made your Pharaohs have a similar condition to Vlad's, then it'd be other thing.

[venomking]

Any thing I need to fix with my sheet?

[pinetree]

Berserker of Nazareth


source

Height: 176cm
Weight: 73kg
Likes: Nature, smoking tobacco, love stories, guns
Dislikes: Monarchy, dictators
Attribute: Man
Alignment: Neutral Good
Catalyst: A bloody handkerchief with his initials embroidered in it, said to have been found by his lover the night after his execution.

Parameters:
STR ◙◙◙◙○ B
END ◙◙◙◙○ B+
AGI ◙◙◙○○ C
MGI ◙○○○○ E
LUC ◙◙○○○ D
NP ◙◙◙◙○ B

Berserker’s true name is Joaquim José da Silva Xavier, commonly known as

Toothpuller

Tiradentes

, he was a soldier, miner and dentist; but most of all he was participant in the

Minas Conspiracy

Inconfidência Mineira

, a conspiracy that aimed to grant the state of Minas Gerais independence when Brazil was still a colony under the control of Portugal. It was a failure, and Tiradentes was ultimately executed in an exaggerated display of the monarchy’s power. He was hanged, but after that his body was chopped and his pieces were scattered around the city.
Berserker bears an astonishing resemblance to Jesus Christ (or, at least, with how the messiah is usually portrayed). He dresses in a white tunic, has long brown hair and beard, white skin and brown eyes.
In life he didn’t have this appearance, however, due to certain circumstances, that is his form as a Heroic Spirit. Because of that Berserker will often prefers to wear modern clothing, tying his hair in a ponytail.
He also carries a blunderbuss and two pistols, the weapons he had when he was captured in life. They, obviously, clash immensely with his holy appearance, and are the only clue to his summoner that no, they did not summon the son of God.

Personality, Lore and Wish

"If we all want, we can make this country into a great nation. Let's do it"

Berserker is an introspective man, but he can be social if the need arises. Despite that, he sometimes is rash, intense or even rude. It's accurate to describe him as a good man with bad manners, someone who's intelligent and self-aware but lacks self-restraint.
For a long time after his death he was exalted as a hero he never truly was in life, his history magnified to fit the need for a national symbol for the recently established republic, however, the common notion of him nowadays is that he was just another one of the rich men in Minas Gerais that wanted the independence of their state just to avoid higher taxes, who was then executed and turned into a fake symbol for a rising government.
In truth, both options are too extreme, it is a fact that Berserker never managed to achieve enough in life to deserve the title of a "national hero", but he really did desire the best for his people, and while his actions in the Inconfidência Mineira didn't amount to much, his heart and ideals were undoubtedly righteous.
His own feelings about the matter are complicated, he agrees that he never managed to be the hero he wished to be, but he also dislikes being considered a selfish member of the elite of Minas, especially since he worked for most of his life to earn a place in society (a place which wasn't even that high up). One thing is certain: after being summoned, Berserker will do anything possible to live up to the heroism they imposed upon him, and to prove wrong those who doubted it.

It was April 21, 1792 when the day of his execution came, after being betrayed by a friend and member of the conspiracy. From that day he really only remembers two things: hearing the woman he loves among the crowd screaming "

Always

Perpétua

!" and the rage in the eyes of the people, forced to watch as one of them was killed just for believing they could do better, be better.
Berserker doesn't have a proper wish for the grail, it seems like his intent is just to continue existing for a while longer. He feels like by living long enough in the War and by being saved by his Noble Phantasm multiple times, he's already accomplishing his wish.

Class Skills

Madness Enhancement (Fake) D.

If all watching felt such anger, then surely, he was the most furious of all

This is the class skill that characterizes a Berserker, at this rank it grants a rank up for Strength and Endurance. Usually this skill would also hamper language ability and complex thoughts over extended periods of time, however…
Berserker was never insane in life and had no famous episodes of uncontrollable rage, it is only due to Innocent Monster that this skill is granted to him. "If all watching his execution felt such anger, surely, he was the most furious of all", that's the belief that granted him this skill.
He may receive the enhancements, but the madness is not his.

Personal Skills

Innocent Monster C.

A common man with a dream? A sacred national hero? A fraud?

An attribute possessed by servants whose true history and existence have been distorted by the monstrous reputations and gossips they accrued across the course of their life and thereafter, without concern for the actual person’s will and appearance, it is similar to a curse and cannot be removed.
His real appearance was completely forgotten by the general populace, and even if his current reputation is not the best, parts of his fabricated legend are still the most relevant facts about him to the public. Thus, he is granted Madness Enhancement and bears the appearance of the son of God just like paintings used to portray him at the time. In addition, due to this skill his true name is considerably more difficult to be discovered, and even abilities that can reveal it have a chance to fail due to the fact that "he's no longer who he was in life."

Inconfidente Mineiro B.

"If I had ten lives I would give away them all, just to save theirs"

A skill that represents his fight for the independence of Brazil. It grants a mental protection that negates all mental interference, much like the skill Martyr’s Soul. In addition, it also grants him a rank up to Strength and Luck when fighting against "nobles" and "monarchs."
Berserker is a man who worked for his place in society, and that fought those higher up who abused their powers despite having them just because of their birth. It is no exaggeration to say this skill is the crystallization of his determination to fight for his people.

Human Anatomy Understanding D+.

A Skill that allows one to have a grasp of the inner workings of the human body, like a piece of precision machinery. All actions intended to heal through skills, magecraft, etc. are improved. One is able to target enemy vitals with extreme precision, and all damage inflicted is increased. In addition, all damage received by the user is reduced.
While Berserker was a doctor, he was still just a dentist (the profession was the reason for his nickname), as much as his job required him to study the entire human anatomy, it doesn’t even come close to the ability of more general health professionals, specially because he never received formal education. However, it does gain a + modifier when relating to injuries and attacks directed to the mouth and/or throat.

Noble Phantasm(s)

Antítese da Perpétua-Roxa

Denying the Flower of Death

.
Type: Self
Rank: B


"'The most dangerous role, I want it for myself.' Do not worry Master, this time neither bad omens nor Portugal can threaten me. This time these flowers will guarantee my victory."

Purple Globe Amaranth Antithesis. This is a permanently active-type of Noble Phantasm.
Berserker died as an example, the crown needed a show of strength to extinguish any fire in the heart of the Brazilians who wanted independence, so after being hanged, his body was chopped into pieces and those were spread across the city.
In other words, they couldn’t kill Tiradentes any other way if they wanted him and his ideals to be truly eliminated.
This concept is strengthened by Innocent Monster and thus sublimated into a Noble Phantasm: Tiradentes is functionally immortal, any injuries—even fatal ones—will be healed during a period between a second and two hours depending on the severity of the wound. The only way to cancel this effect is by chopping him up and spreading the pieces of his corpse far apart from one another. At this point he will become vulnerable once again and most likely die on the spot unless he is somehow put together and healed immediately.
Incidentally, whenever he is healing, yellow globe amaranth petals fall out of his wounds, and when chopped up, purple globe amaranths grow around his pieces. It seems like these effects are a byproduct of the name of his Noble Phantasm, which in turn is named after these flowers because Tiradentes himself feels like there's a deep connection between them and his execution, or perhaps it would be better to say that he's subconsciously relating "not-dying" with "globe amaranths" in an attempt at denying that connection.

Libertas Quae Sera Tamen

Freedom, Even If It Be Late

.
Type: Anti-Unit
Rank: B


"You may cut my body and salt my lands, but it won't matter! My dream is an inevitable conclusion! Libertas Quae Sera Tamen!"

Libertas Quae Sera Tamen was the motto of the Minas Conspiracy. The participants of the conspiracy swore to see their people free, Tiradentes more than anyone else. And while yes, they did fail, freedom eventually came, and their motto was made true.
When activated it will "free" the target from something that bounds them, be that contracts, curses, vows, etc.
The target may perform a saving throw if they want, but even if they succeed, the effect will only be delayed, not prevented. The NP will still break their bounds eventually, with the delay depending on how well they performed in the check. Servants from countries that were once a colony and that lived during those times have a higher chance of being affected, the same is true for targets that want to be freed.
However, maybe because this is something born from a weak concept strengthened by Innocent Monster, or maybe because of some tampering from the summoning system, this NP cannot affect the systems of the Grail War such as the contract between Master and Servant. The only exception are Command Spell orders in which the affected Servant is actively resisting, in that case alone Libertas Quae Sera Tamen works normally.

Bond Craft Essence

(a purple globe amaranth laid on top of a bloody handkerchief)

Perpétua

Always

Perpétua

Mineira, the woman he loved.

Purple Globe Amaranth

Perpétua-Roxa

, a flower she cultivated at home.

The couple knew their meetings posed a danger to both, and so decided not to meet again until his plans were successful.
The man asked for one of the flowers that originated her nickname, so that he could always carry her love with him. But instead, she cut out a lock of hair.
"Have a better gift, but no, not the perpétua! Look: I only have purple ones, those are flowers of death."
He took the lock of hair but that wasn't enough. He wanted a flower.

There was no way that anything carrying her name, signifying their love, could bring him demise.

"Then take it, but this is a bad omen... Be happy! Goodbye! Whatever your destiny may be, I'll love you

always

perpétua

. Remember it: Perpétua!..."

Tiradentes was captured and imprisoned on that same year—1789—and he never saw Perpétua Mineira again until April 21, 1792: moments before his execution.

Relationships

Emiya Alter.
Just the sight of him saddens Tiradentes. He tries to be friendly often, and though the Archer usually doesn’t appreciate his company, they do have a point in common: their interest in guns sometimes provides enough for them to share a few hours of conversation.

Jeanne d'Arc Alter.
She hates the fact that even when his own country considers him to be a fraud, he holds them no ill will, and considers his sadness towards that topic pathetic: he should be enraged! Berserker sees her as a mirror of what he could be if his will was any weaker or Innocent Monster was any stronger, and he often tries to lead her away from the path of vengeance. Yes, much like a certain holy maiden tries to force a sisterly relationship on her, Tiradentes tries to force a friendship.

Jeanne d'Arc.
Due to his various attempts at helping Jeanne Alter with her issues, he often works together with regular Jeanne, who also constantly tries to do the same. They fail every time, but from these efforts a great friendship between the two was born.

Saint Martha.
Her appearance is so similar to the Perpétua Mineira he loved… but she's a saint.
His appearance is so similar to the Messiah she met.... but he's not Him.
Indeed, the only result possible from them interacting is absolute awkwardness.

[MehKitteh]

also Karna and Arjuna quite unknown outside their homeland /culturspehre just like Setgos I and Sesostris I .

*cough*Indonesia*cough*

Any thing I need to fix with my sheet?

First of all, I don't think that At the Boundary is justified with your description and explanation. I suppose that the skill is meant for those whose essential existence is linked to Death, or is Death itself. Simply pillaging and killing for survival is not enough to qualify for that Skill, in my opinion.

The other Skills are meh, too many and most of them are placeholder Skills for whatever he did in his legends with bland Ranks. I'd like to see some of them removed (or merged!) while fleshing out the description for why he has that skill. Seriously, it feels like reading a lorem ipsum.

Then his NP. Nice concept. Very buff-y for a rather obscure(?) figure, and the first requirement needs some tweaking. I guess that not all Servants are equivalent to an army, so probably toning down that first requirement by a bit?

Aaaaaaand lastly, it would be very helpful and kind of you if your sheets are as good grammatically as your question.

---

Joaquim: Make his First NP revives him after 3 days and he's perfect. Jokes aside, this is a very, very good sheet. Admittedly I have a small bias towards Berserkers with NPs not intended for fighting, but the idea of an unkillable idea is really interesting. Good job!

[pinetree]

Joaquim: Make his First NP revives him after 3 days and he's perfect. Jokes aside, this is a very, very good sheet. Admittedly I have a small bias towards Berserkers with NPs not intended for fighting, but the idea of an unkillable idea is really interesting. Good job!

I was actually really close to making his first NP like that! It was "an idea that comes back no matter what" instead of "an idea that cannot be killed" until I found out about Perpétua Mineira and decided to change half of the sheet. Also at that point I think the Jesus fake out was hurting the actual Servant.

Also I share your love for NPs not intended for fighting, and not only on Berserkers.

[King of Padoru]

Why is Joaquim's sheet making me cry manly tears?

[pinetree]

Why is Joaquim's sheet making me cry manly tears?

I did try writing his background as tragically as possible haha

[JetKinen]

Nice.
Best Jesus.
Died to save us from a day of work

[pinetree]

Nice.
Best Jesus.
Died to save us from a day of work

That's what I call a hero, he understood what his people really needed.

[JetKinen]

You did a good job with the Tiradentes sheet. Good personality, NPs are pretty well tied to his legends. I don't really feel Mad Enhancement (Fake), but it is what it is. I like the Amaranth visual going on on the first NP

Personally if we're speaking about making national heroes, Tiradentes never really seemed to be interesting because lets be frank, the only thing he did was be a scapegoat and later be idealized into a Jesus Figure. I just didn't think it was a compelling dude to write about mechanically-wise.
I think you did the best possible job one could do about Tiradentes. I just don't think even that is much interesting.

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Really love that Martha bit though

[pinetree]

You did a good job with the Tiradentes sheet. Good personality, NPs are pretty well tied to his legends. I don't really feel Mad Enhancement (Fake), but it is what it is. I like the Amaranth visual going on on the first NP

I struggled quite a bit with his Mad Enhancement, I knew I wanted him to be a Berserker, but felt like his personality didn't fit with ME EX, and also didn't want him to lose his sanity or speech capability. It's hard to create a character you like just to take away their personality I guess.

Personally if we're speaking about making national heroes, Tiradentes never really seemed to be interesting because lets be frank, the only thing he did was be a scapegoat and later be idealized into a Jesus Figure. I just didn't think it was a compelling dude to write about mechanically-wise.
I think you did the best possible job one could do about Tiradentes. I just don't think even that is much interesting.

Yeah I can get that, my idea for Tiradentes originally came from Siegfried in Apocrypha. I really liked the concept of a servant who was considered a hero in life but didn't achieve his personal standards and objectives in heroism, and for some reason that got me thinking about Tiradentes. Someone who isn't even considered a hero anymore, what if he actually wanted to be one? That's how it started.

Really love that Martha bit though

Thanks! I thought quite a bit about all those interactions, but in the end the most simple did come out as the best one.

[JetKinen]

Did he have to be a Berserker though?
If you're using the Jesus imagery, you could've went with him being a very shitty Ruler
The fake savior gets put into the class for saints. Things would be even more awkward for him.

Also, don't you think that something like perpetual, eternal or everlasting would be a better translation for Perpétua? "Always" doesn't really bring the sense of time that word has

[RoydGolden]

Also, don't you think that something like perpetual, eternal or everlasting would be a better translation for Perpétua? "Always" doesn't really bring the sense of time that word has

I can't speak for pine's intentions, but those words sound way too purple. "Always" is simple and emphatic, which fits the cry of an anguished lover in English better then any of the slightly more accurate alternatives.

[Criarino]

I didn't think I would live long enough to see a sheet about Tiradentes, further still one SO good.
As someone from Minas, I have to say: Congratulations
Now I only need to see a sheet about JK, Santos Dummond or any bandeirante