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Thread: Create-A-Servant 2

  1. #16821
    Not a day over sixty and with the eyes of a cornered ferret. WhiteFrenzy's Avatar
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    Berserker of Burning Heavens: Okay, I'll say that was bothering me first so we can take this out of the way: PUNCTUATION. English is not my first language, but sometimes the lack of proper punctuation (and some spelling mistakes like the lack of caps at the beggining of sentences) took the immersion from me, you know? Other than that, let's get to the good part: THE NOBLE PHANTASMS. Loved them! A tad simplistic, but they are exactly what an insanely powerful monster like this one deserves. His skills also complements the whole picture nicely. He would be a formidable foe, I wouldn't want to fight against him anytime soon hahaha. I'll also definitely read this Lostbelt you created for him soon!



    Lilith: YES. I LOVE THIS CHARACTER so any sheet with her is a win in my book. I loved that the independence that is a key-feature on Lilith translates into insuborniation to her Master and a high rank on the very Archer-like ability of independent action. Very nice to have that skill of the quality of a harlot. I can see Mother Harlot having a similar skill-- that is to say, it was good on you. Very Type Moon-ish. Her Noble Phantasms are also super nice-- I specially loved the first one, and I can see the second becoming very troublesome for plenty of servants if it was deployed hahah. She is such a troublesome femme fatalle that I can't think of anyone else but Ritsuka with his harem skill EX to """"tame"""" her. And I use a lot of """" because frankly, who can tame this woman...
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  2. #16822
    Your average angst/edge supplier BnEl15's Avatar
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    "Um, hello. Servant Cas- eh..? W-Wait, I'm an Archer!? Did the Throne seriously think I'm fit to be fighting in the front lines!? U-Um, either way, nice to meet you, Master, hopefully we can work together..."


    Source

    Class: Archer
    Other Classes: Rider, Caster

    True Name: B.F. Skinner
    Alignment: Lawful Good
    Place of Origin: Pennsylvania, America


    Parameters:

    STR: E
    END: D
    AGI: D
    MGI: D
    LCK: B
    NP: C

    Likes: Animals, humanity, psychology
    Dislikes: Not being taken seriously, loudmouths, violence
    Talent: Observing behavioral patterns, taking care of and training animals
    Natural Enemy: Sigmund Freud
    Armament: A baton, seemingly used to "control" animals in his surroundings
    Catalyst: His glasses


    Class Skills
    Independent Action
    Rank: D
    The ability to remain independent even when rejecting the Magical Energy supply from one's Master; the ability that allows for action even in the absence of the Master. As a modern Heroic Spirit, Archer only possesses a low rank of this skill, allowing him to stay for roughly half a day without a Master.

    Magic Resistance
    Rank: -
    A skill that grants protection against magical effects. Due to being a modern Heroic Spirit, this skill has been lost.

    Riding
    Rank: E+ (EX)
    The ability to ride mounts and vehicles. While normally a class skill reserved for the Rider and Saber class, Archer seems to possess this skill due to the multiple experiments he conducted in life, granting him fame as someone who trains animals. While Archer can only operate vehicles made from the 20th century onward, he is capable of riding almost every kind of living creature including phantasmals and divine beasts, given enough time. Whenever he rides living creatures, this skill's rank starts out as E, but as he trains these creatures, it is possible for the rank to gradually increase over time. However, this training process may take days, weeks, or even longer. While Archer's Noble Phantasm may slightly shorten the time required to train these creatures, generally stronger, more mythical beasts require more time to train. Also, this skill's rank resets back to E whenever Archer rides a different species, requiring him to start the training process all over again for these other creatures.
    Personal Skills
    Psychology
    Rank: B+
    A composite skill consisting of Human Observation and a variation of Understanding of the Human Body, specialized in analyzing the human mind and behavior. A skill signifying one's ability to grasp the intricacies of the human mind. Increases resistance against mental interference, and increases the probability of inflicting mental interference through words. In addition, this skill also makes it easier for others to lower their doubts and inhibitions around Archer, which in turn makes it easier for him to gain their trust and extract potentially important information.

    While his exploits aren't as well-known outside the psychological community compared to the father of psychoanalysis, Sigmund Freud, Archer is still renowned as one of the researchers who propagated the view of behaviorism. Behaviorism is a branch of psychology that focuses itself on researching observable actions, in opposition of Freud's ideas of abstract concepts such as subconscious drives and needs. This idea of behaviorism also affects this skill, greatly reducing the effectiveness of Noble Phantasms based off abstract, conceptual ideas such as emotions, ideals, and motivation.

    Animal Communication
    Rank: D++
    The ability to communicate with animals, who do not speak "the language of words". While communication is mostly one-sided with Archer issuing commands, it is possible for mice and birds- the two species Archer mostly worked with in life- to execute highly complex commands such as pressing buttons, finding the exit of a labyrinth, stealing small objects, acting as surveillance or reconnaissance, or simply overpowering enemies with sheer numbers. It is also possible for Archer to convey these complex commands to other animals once they are properly trained.

    Noble Phantasm(s)
    Project Orcon
    Pigeon-Guided Missile Bombardment



    Type: Anti-Army
    Rank: C
    Range: 1-100
    Max Targets: 200 people

    One may wonder how Archer, a 20th century scientist who spent most of his life cooped up in his lab conducting experiments on animals, would qualify for the class known for the use of long-range projectile weapons. The answer lies on a certain project that he proposed to the US Navy in the middle of World War II.

    Back then, the Navy required a weapon effective against enemy ships. Archer came up with the idea of Project Pigeon (later renamed as Project Orcon, for 'Organic Control'), which was intended to utilize pigeons as a simple and effective guidance system. This system divided the nose cone of a missile into three compartments, with a pigeon placed in each. Lenses projected an image of distant objects onto a screen in front of each bird. Thus, when the missile was launched from an aircraft within sight of an enemy ship, an image of the ship would appear on the screen. The screen was hinged, such that pecks at the image of the ship would guide the missile toward the ship. Yet despite effective test results, this project was ultimately abandoned, an event that Archer lamented, believing that his ideas weren't taken seriously.

    This Noble Phantasm is the realization of that abandoned project. Instead of using complex missile weaponry, the concept of this Noble Phantasm was simplified due to Archer's core belief that turns "pigeons" to be synonymous with "weapons". By expending mana, Archer could materialize a number of "pigeons" (more akin to homing missiles) to attack the enemy at high speed. While the range of explosion is relatively small, the low mana cost of this Noble Phantasm allows Archer to unleash it in quick succession.

    Skinner Box
    A Display of Radical Behaviorism

    Type: Anti-Mind
    Rank: C
    Range: 1-10
    Max Targets: 10


    A crystallization of Archer's belief in radical behaviorism. Every single action can be attributed to the outcome of previous actions, through the presence of reinforcements and/or punishments. Thus, it is possible for behavior to be shaped using the proper reinforcers and/or punishers. Upon its activation, a bounded field is laid on top of the world. A partial release of this Noble Phantasm simply manifests as a subtle suggestion within the bounded field to follow Archer's commands. While thoughts of obeying Archer's commands can be mildly intrusive to most Servants, its effects can be easily nullified by most Servants possessing mental fortification skills. Instead, this partial release is more suited for Archer to train and influence animals around him, shaping their behavior and making them act in certain ways under the right circumstances.

    The true power of this Noble Phantasm lies in its full release. Upon its True Name invocation, Archer gains the ability to grant "approval" (reinforcement) or "disapproval" (punishment) to his target's actions. Should an action gain Archer's approval, the target will be hit with a strong suggestion to repeat the same action. Even if the target can resist doing said action, the thought of simply doing it is highly intrusive enough to ruin their concentration, disorienting the target and preventing them from doing anything else. The opposite also applies. should an action gain Archer's disapproval, the target will be hit with a strong suggestion to "never do that action again". Whenever the target would attempt that action, their mind would drift away and be unable to complete the line of thought required to perform said action.

    Yet as any learned stimulus, the effects of this Noble Phantasm will eventually disappear without constant reminder. With Archer's mana capacity, the bounded field along with all its effects disappears within roughly one hour. This Noble Phantasm consumes a considerable amount of mana, meaning that Archer's combat capabilities would be greatly diminished and he would need some time to recharge his energy after using it.

    Description
    Archer's True Name is B.F. Skinner, a researcher, psychologist, philosopher, author, and inventor who was a profound believer in behaviorism and operant conditioning.

    Archer is a mild-mannered, if not slightly timid gentleman. He speaks courteously, but may react awkwardly if his conversation partner does not respond with the same level of formality as his own. As a researcher used to conducting experiments in a laboratory, he generally avoids social interaction, preferring to find a nice and quiet place where he may simply observe others. Despite his awkwardness around humans, Archer is a gentle caretaker of animals. He knows how to care for most household pets, and he would show no fear even when faced with terrifying, mythical beasts. According to him, while their size and capabilities may differ, their thought process rarely differ from the mice he handled in his lab. Thus, there is no need to fear them. Due to their common interests, Archer would easily get along with other Heroic Spirits who display interest towards animals, those who fought beside animals, or those who are animals themselves.

    While the theories he developed in life were largely pessimistic, Archer is a surprisingly strong believer in human potential. He believes that failure does not necessarily mean the end of potential. Rather, it is simply the best that one can do under the existing circumstances. He also believes that as long as humans can continue to shape and regulate their behaviors to better themselves, they are capable of overcoming any adversity in their path.

    Archer dislikes people who wouldn't take him seriously, mainly due to the experience of his Project Pigeon being rejected by the US Navy. Occasionally, he may go on uncharacteristically passionate rants regarding his research, and he would scold his Master if they don't respond to his ideas. He would not blame the Master for not knowing behavioral psychology, and he would be more than happy to offer simpler explanations. Rather, he despises Masters who would simply handwave his explanations and choose to remain ignorant on purpose. The rejection he experienced from the Navy also made him take great pride in his Noble Phantasm, claiming that "this whole time, I had the right idea after all!".

    Archer wishes to have more time to observe the modern world in order to develop his theories once again. While he is admittedly tempted at the prospect of a second life through the Holy Grail, he ultimately refuses to use it, believing that the dead has no need to meddle with the living. Thus, he would simply use whatever time he has left to observe humanity, and leave wishing for its betterment.


    Lore
    Burrhus Frederic Skinner (March 20, 1904 – August 18, 1990), commonly known as B. F. Skinner, was an American psychologist, behaviorist, author, inventor, and social philosopher. He was the Edgar Pierce Professor of Psychology at Harvard University from 1958 until his retirement in 1974.

    Skinner considered free will an illusion and human action dependent on consequences of previous actions. If the consequences are bad, there is a high chance the action will not be repeated; if the consequences are good, the probability of the action being repeated becomes stronger. Skinner called this the principle of reinforcement.

    To strengthen behavior, Skinner used operant conditioning, and he considered the rate of response to be the most effective measure of response strength. To study operant conditioning, he invented the operant conditioning chamber, also known as the Skinner Box, and to measure rate he invented the cumulative recorder. Using these tools, he and C. B. Ferster produced his most influential experimental work, which appeared in their book Schedules of Reinforcement (1957).

    Skinner developed behavior analysis, the philosophy of that science he called radical behaviorism, and founded a school of experimental research psychology—the experimental analysis of behavior. He imagined the application of his ideas to the design of a human community in his utopian novel, Walden Two, and his analysis of human behavior culminated in his work, Verbal Behavior. Skinner was a prolific author who published 21 books and 180 articles. Contemporary academia considers Skinner a pioneer of modern behaviorism, along with John B. Watson and Ivan Pavlov. A June 2002 survey listed Skinner as the most influential psychologist of the 20th century.

    Relationships
    Jeanne D'Arc (Summer):
    "Such beautiful synchronization with those ocean mammals... It's beautiful how you fought with such grace and harmony beside them! You have to teach me that skill!"

    Nikola Tesla:
    "Ah yes, Mr. Tesla, I completely understand how you feel. More often than not, true genius is overshadowed by loudmouths who claim they know better. Showoffs like Dr. Freud, or that lion-headed rival of yours..."

    Semiramis:
    "The wise queen of Assyria, I see. Despite your terrifying reputation, I could see how gently you handled your doves. Surely someone who treats animals with such kindness cannot truly be a bad person."

    Sigmund Freud:
    "Bah, that stubbornly annoying Dr. Freud is here as well, huh... While I can respect his theories to some extent, I despise his insistence to cling on those theories despite numerous arguments against them. People who insist on outdated theories are the bane of progress, preventing humans from bettering themselves."


    Creator Notes
    Another effort to make a scientist Heroic Spirit in a class other than Caster, and I think he has some justification for it. This is also my way of poking fun at how... varied the Archer class' weapons are, including but not limited to harps, rice bales, coffins, water guns, and dolphins.

    In other news, apparently I hit a dead-end with a previous sheet I was working on, involving a certain deterministic thought experiment. The recent Freud and Kitty Genovese sheets just inspired me to do another psychology-related Servant. I've also been trying to make the description section less convoluted, but idk if I managed to hit the important points this time around...

    In any case, comments welcome, and remember kids, real Archers use pigeon-guided missiles.
    Last edited by BnEl15; December 30th, 2019 at 03:37 AM.

  3. #16823
    هههههههههههههههههههه Kamera's Avatar
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    What, I killed 100 million?
    Hah, had I knew that things would turn out like this, I should’ve purged much more! Hahahaha!


    So you’re supposed to be my “Master” and I’m the “Servant”, huh? Don’t make me laugh! I’d sooner twist your degenerate magus neck before I participate into this deranged bourgeois fantasy!

    Why the fuck should I care about this petty “war” of yours? An omnipotent wish-granting device, you say? That sounds like an awful capitalist scam, are your existence so pathetically hopeless that you need a literal divine power to realize a single wish?

    Alright, magus, you’ve proven yourself to be worthy of my comrade. Then, it’s decided, we shall purge clean this earth of our enemies! Their remains shall be the fertilizer from which a peaceful world grows!

    Class: Archer
    True Name: Joseph Stalin
    Gender: Male (?)
    Alignment: Lawful Evil
    Place of Origin: Georgia

    Stalin used to disguise himself and fake his identity as a woman several times to escape the tsarist polices and prisons during his younger revolutionary days, perhaps that’s the reason he’s summoned in a woman’s body. However, Stalin himself doesn’t seem to mind this form. In fact he has taken quite a liking to it. Perhaps it’s because his tendency of wanting to be “the most charming person”, or something along these lines.

    Parameters:
    STR: C
    END: B
    AGI: B
    MGI: B
    LCK: A
    NP: A

    Class Skills:
    Independent Action: B
    The ability to act independently for a period of time if magical energy supply from the Master is severed. At rank B, Stalin is able to maintain his saint graph for 3 days without a Master. It is one of the abilities Stalin retained from his early revolutionary activities, in addition his own insistence that he absolutely doesn’t need a Master.

    Magic Resistance: B
    Protects oneself against magical effect of rank B or below; even high-thaumaturgy and grand ritual could barely damage him. For such a modern servant, Stalin displays resistance against magical effect because of his staunch militant atheism. Under his USSR, Stalin, following the doctrine of Marxist-Leninist, attempted to cleanse the state from all religious and superstition elements, including magi and the church, essentially purging away mystery.

    Personal Skills:
    Man of Steel: A++
    A composite skill consisting Determination of Steel, Incitement, and Sadistic Charisma. It also applies a bonus to his physical parameters. It is a skill deriving from the name Stalin itself which means literally “man of steel”, symbolizing two of his many facets. In his younger days, Stalin was a steel-hearted revolutionary, who has been through countless arrests, solitary confinements and exiles, while also had incited numerous mass rallies and strikes, in order to spark the revolution. In later years he became a steel-fisted leader, who mercilessly purged those he designate as “class-enemies” while also crushed fascists as a steel-balled military leader. Through these achievements he, perhaps rightfully so, had acquired himself a cult of personality, which he personally had mixed feeling about, to say the least.

    The name Stalin itself was actually one of his pseudonyms, but one that he is most known for among the Bolsheviks. He later adopted the name for the rest of his life—aptly characterizing it.

    Innovation – Dictatorship of the Proletariat: EX
    A fully materialized revolution which Stalin inherited from Lenin, which the former expanded into more aspects of the social reality; it is essentially a revolution which abolishes the established dictatorship of old, replacing it with a new dictatorship which roughly mirrors the class interest of the proletariat to build socialism guided by Marxist-Leninist principle. In essence, it is the authority to wield the state power against what Stalin deems as “class enemy”.

    In effect, it grants advantageous boost on Stalin against his enemies in proportion to the level of their “reactionary” or “counter-revolutionary” or “bourgeois” aspects, in other words “the guardians of the establishment”, this includes those with high rank of “divinity” and “mystery”.

    Noble Phantasms:
    Velykyy Perelom Stalingrad
    Living Hell Ruptured on the Red Steel Fortress
    Type: Anti-Country
    Rank: E ~ EX
    Stalingrad, the overnight industrial city which was turned into “a place ten times worse than hell” during the most devastating battle in the most important war—as of yet—in human history. Before World War II broke out, Stalin’s rapid industrialization and collectivization has transformed the Soviet Union from a feudal frozen wasteland into an industrial superpower. This city is therefore the symbol of Stalin’s authority as well as his achievements. It is said that the tractor factories in Stalingrad continues to manufacture the T-34 tanks until the German troops burst into the plant—such is the devotion of the Stalingrad workers to Stalin and his cause.

    As a Noble Phantasm, it becomes a Reality Marble which encapsulates it as both the hellish battlefield where the largest and bloodiest battle in the history of warfare occurred, as well as incorporating its aspect as a heavy equipment manufacturer which operates even during and after the Battle of Stalingrad.

    This Noble Phantasm has two type of usage. The first is that Stalin can materialize artillery pieces and armour forged inside the Reality Marble for his own use by expending mana. Those armaments are equal to E to C ranked Anti-Army, Anti-Fortress, and Support Noble Phantasms, and can be deployed both offensively and defensively. (yes this is literally kancolle)

    The second deployment is the invocation of this Noble Phantasm’s true name. It is Heroic Spirit Stalin’s trump card in which the hellscape of the Battle of Stalingrad inside the Reality Marble is temporarily unleashed onto the world, covering the area of an entire city to an entire country, depending on the duration of deployment and the availability of sufficient mana reserve. As the raging hell is re-enacted, so too the result of the battle enforced—as the rain of bullets and mortars and aerial bombardments coalesced into a crimson firestorm, this firestorm burns away the “supremacy of oppression” as well as the “guardians of the establishments”, “mystery” and “divinity” alike. It is a Noble Phantasm which can truly change the course of history.

    Authoritarian Personalism
    Faceless Crimson-red Sovereign
    Type: Anti-Unit (Self)
    Rank: B
    A Noble Phantasm which symbolizes the authority of Joseph Stalin which he cleverly and brutally wielded to suppress and silence his opposition. Abusing the Dictatorship of the Proletariat to the maximum, Stalin enacted political purges and repressions which plunges the USSR into a suppressive totalitarian nightmare.

    Upon its activation, Stalin’s eye changes, causing all the targets to be affected with a gravitational force that plunges them to the ground. It is not physical in nature, but an attack of conceptual interference that is able to easily break through magical defenses. Stalin can selectively utilize it to avoid applying it to certain person of his choosing, and it is powerful enough to leave even Servants completely helpless and even crush a human to death. It can be resisted by Servants with high enough endurance, or skill that negates authority and charisma, such as Nature of Rebellious Spirit or Unyielding Will.

    This Noble Phantasm is identical to a certain German fascist’s, due the fact that both are often compared to each other as both the worst example of authoritarianism resulting in a cruel totalitarian regime.
    Last edited by Kamera; December 30th, 2019 at 12:48 PM. Reason: wacky description
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    Blindfold your eyes, so that the approaching night may strike no fear in you.
    Let it not burden your soul, nor numb your strides.

  4. #16824
    love warrior <3 world-0 the god of world-0's Avatar
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    Okay, so I will take a little break from japanese servants, do some other people i found interesting, then go back to post my "Lostbelt Cameo".


    here is a list of my servant sheets(new and improved format for my servant sheets)

    Come explore the White Library, and reach the bottom of this Abyss
    Fate / White Memoria

  5. #16825
    Not a day over sixty and with the eyes of a cornered ferret. WhiteFrenzy's Avatar
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    B.F. Skinner: I had SO much fun reading this one (which I believe is ultimately the goal of these sheets, to amuse people and make them feel that servant, so kudos to you). This image of a guy singlemindedly focusing on his researches is so evocative of Shakespeare, who spent all anime just moving his pawns here and there for his own amusement-- but thank goodness Archer here has far less nefarious reasons for that. I liked the idea of a very Disney-esque noble phantasm like the pigeon one (DESPITE, YOU KNOW, HAVING WAR CONNOTATIONS)... Are you sure you're not a disney princess, my dude? Also his personality is also adorable! I kinda want to pinch his cheeks hahah.



    FRIGGIN STALIN: Y E S. I can't help but get amused whenever someone dares to post a sheet of a controversial character like this one. It's always a blast to read the different interpretations; and this one is no different. I was already on the floor with the explanation for that genderbend (GENIUS), but then finding out that Master becomes Comrade for him? Classic. I loved it. His...hers... uhm... The skills are also amazingly fitting, and the Stalingrad noble phantasm is a thing of nightmares. All in all, this was a really nice sheet to read, one that made me amused but at the same time, one to take seriously.
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  6. #16826
    後継者 Successor Bugs's Avatar
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    Stalin's Innovation Skill sounds like a nightmare for Avengers.

  7. #16827
    Create History with the light even God doesn't know Der Ritter's Avatar
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    Been too long since I posted here, so I'm making my return with a slice of actual insanity on my part.

    RIDER OF IRKALLA
    Faceclaim

    Class: Rider
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Source: The Epic of Gilgamesh
    Region: Mesopotamia
    Trait: Sky

    Parameters

    STR
    : E
    END: E
    AGI: D
    MGI: A
    LCK: C
    NP: A

    Skills

    Class Skills

    Riding
    : B-

    Most vehicles and animals can be handled with above average skill, even vehicles that did not exist in the time period one was alive in, for they are no exception. However, cannot ride the likes of Phantasmal Species such as Monstrous Beasts.

    The effective rank is displayed improperly, as Rider is unsuited to the class.

    Magic Resistance: E

    Cannot cancel spells, but magic damage is reduced somewhat.

    Personal Skills

    Divinity
    : C

    The measure of one's aptitude as a divinity. Rider was born one third's god and two thirds human.

    Alluring Nightingale: A

    The natural constitution of having a beautiful voice; it is also a declaration of the exercise of power by the royalty. It works as a fascination magecraft-like effect towards males and beasts, but evasion is possible with a Magic Resistance Skill. Even without Magic Resistance, one can abate it to some extent so long as they maintain a will to resist.

    Golden Rule (Body): A

    One possesses a perfect goddess-like body since birth. No matter how many calories one absorbs, even their figure will not change. Unlike the Natural Body Skill, there is no effect on one’s Strength parameter. In the end, it is said that it is no more than one’s beauty being preserved.

    Foolishness of the Tenacious One: A

    The representation of a curse Rider was born with, wherein she is doomed to fail at anything she tries to put genuine effort into. Or rather, more correctly, she will succeed at anything she does until at the most inopportune moment, causing it to crumble before her.

    The best laid plans will always be foolproof, but somehow come undone at the literal last minute. An amazing journey may end in an astounding anticlimax. She'll always be in the lead only to trip and get 3rd place.

    The constitution of someone who can not even achieve "second best."



    Noble Phantasm

    Goddess Edge Works
    Zababa

    Type: Anti-Army
    Rank: A
    Max Targets: 15

    A weapon that was stolen from the city of Kish from its former king, Enmebaragesi. It in turn was stolen from Gilgamesh's treasury by Rider herself. A cycle of sibling rivalry could only be born from this.

    The weapon's form is the prototype of the blade of a certain Greek Hero who used it to kill a monster with the power to turn man and beast to stone. A cursed tool with the purpose of severing an eternal life. Even a perfect immortal wouldn't heal from an attack with this blade.

    Rider has trained herself to focus that very power into something more abstract and unusual. Rather than a blade that severs "Eternity," it's power has been changed into a blade that severs "Truth." What that is supposed to be is impossible to be understood, even for Rider who can not recall what that actually means.

    The Supreme and Brilliant Flash
    Shūtur eli sharrī (Surpassing All Other Rulers)

    Type: Anti-Unit
    Rank: B+

    An attack style developed by Rider by training to fully utilize Zababa. It is a fighting style built around using the tool in 1000 ways imaginable, and 1000 ways that no one would ever think to imagine, even when delirious.

    It is by and large a martial art form that makes no sense the more one thinks about it, such as employing tactics for "defeating a holy sword using enemy by imagining they're actually using a holy knife!" As well as "pretending the enemy with a million weapons is actually only using one!"

    However this seemingly has given this style a unique form of "Anti-Clairvoyance" defense. Supposedly, by employing a style and tactics that make no sense even to the user, even High Servants with the power to observe the beginning and end, or high level intuition that always finds the best path, can't predict what Rider will do next. Or something like that.

    According to Rider, there's actually a technique that can be performed by invoking a True Name release, but she can't recall what it does exactly.


    Lore

    Rider's true identity is Pestur, the youngest sister of the legendary hero king, Gilgamesh.

    Like Gilgamesh, she is the child of the former king of Uruk, Lugalbanda, and the goddess Ninsun, born to help tie the will of man to the slowly declined power of the gods.

    Pestur was created as what could most gracefully be called a "backup unit" to her brother, a cheap to make and deploy alternative made in case something were to happen to him or to keep him in line. But as ended up being the case, neither ended up happening.

    Pestur was unknowingly to both herself and her creators, irreversibly flawed and unable to perform either of these functions. A tragic fluke of "manufacturing" that ended up making her an "inferior model."
    She could not take her brother's place for the end result could only be catastrophic, and she would never be strong enough to bind him down were he to rebel.

    In the end, she was cast aside in favor of creating a divine weapon that would have the strength necessary to rival the king of heroes. Even her brother stopped noticing her as "a blood born equal," but instead as his "novelty of a relative."

    But she refused to let that be her place in life. Even if it meant having to put up with unreasonable demands and mocking, she wouldn't relent until her brother finally sees her as someone worthy of being a threat.

    And so her one goal in life was to become "the one who surpasses
    my brother
    the king
    ."

    =====

    Her most effective class is actually supposed to be Lancer, but her curse of failure has apparently created a scenario which summons her in a class she is normally unsuited for. The end result has her memory of the true purpose of Zababa scrambled and even her Supreme Technique was forgotten. It is possible to regain these, but it can only be done by remembering the true name of Shūtur eli sharrī.

    A certain Gold King™ and Clay Doll© both have an idea of what these are, however.

    GK: "She hilariously always tried to do everything to get me to take her everywhere, even sneaking after us to face Humbaba and the stupid goddess's Bull."
    CD: "But she always found a way to get set back, even when it shouldn't be possible. Nature itself is making her fail, strange as it is to say."
    GK: "But even so, the fact that she can't admit her loss is her most amusing quality of all! She has suffered so much humiliation, I'm almost certain she should be broken and crying. It breaks my heart and my ribs with how hilarious it is!"
    "But that is her most dangerous quality of course. She refuses to accept defeat, so she continues to aim higher and higher, and she might have gone much further than even she realizes."
    CD: ""She only fails at the last step," so by definition she has accomplished a great deal until that point. If her goal then is to "Surpass all Rulers of the World," what could reasonably stop her until the last minute?"

    While neither has actually seen it, they're best guess is her Supreme Technique is an attack meant to challenge the power of their own. A blade meant to sever "Truth" is a very broad and abstract ideal, but while they don't think it's anything to fear, they admit it could make for an impressive display.

    "Sever "Truth" she says… Perhaps she means that. How ridiculous! I might truly perish of laughter here and now!"


    Personality

    Rider is a lot like her brother in many regards. She is very proud and unafraid to voice her opinion on anything, be it her Master's quality as a serf, the state of the current era, or even how dull her food tastes. She has a high opinion of herself, and will boast of her greatness to enemy and ally alike.

    She has an intense enmity for "Kings," and has declared herself the rival of all rulers of the world.
    "Even if you're the king of 1000 cities in 100 nations, I will be a ruler who surpasses even you!" Is one of her most preferred boasts to such types.

    But in truth she's only saying this for herself.

    Her one true and hidden fear is that she truly is a flawed and useless toy, and that she will go unloved and unremembered by anyone. Her over the top attitude, from her loud shouting matches with her brother, nonsensical fighting moves, and constant need to excel at everything is all to maintain the illusion of her own self worth.

    She will never admit this, even if a nosy fairy tale author pried in and said it to her face. It is the one lie she can ever tell, even if it's only one she tells herself.

    Wish For The Holy Grail:
    She wishes to gain her brother's respect in the only way she knows he'll understand.
    A death match against her brother and Enkidu. She wants to prove she can defeat this unstoppable duo who could defeat seemingly invincible threats like the Demon of the Cedar Forest and the Ultimate Divine Weapon.

    She refuses to remove her curse for whatever reason.

    Dialogue Example:
    "Gahaha, congratulations pathetic worm! Thou have obtained the greatest fighter in all of Sumer. I am the one who Surpasses all rulers, Pestur!"
    "King of Heroes? Bah! I'll show that useless brother of mine! I'll become one who surpasses all heroes."
    "If the enemy uses twin blades…"
    "-attack them like they're using their bare hands!"
    "If the enemy is a giant…"
    "-strike them like they were a mouse!"
    "If the target is a God…"
    "-I don't remember, just kick them?"
    "Mine is the supreme cutter, the hunter who finds the blood of all living things and steals their soul. Not even "Eternity" or "Truth" shall be spared-
    Rise and consume all,
    Goddess Edge Works
    Zababa
    !"

    Relationships:

    Gilgamesh:
    Her cherished elder brother, who she views as her rival. He thinks of her schemes and plans as amusing moments to pass the time on a slow day.

    Enkidu:
    The intruder. She must defeat him before facing her brother. He doesn't take notice of her much of the time unless he feels bored.

    Humbaba:
    "Unforgivable. I'll absolutely kill you."

    Enmebaragesi:
    Her beloved elder "sister." They were the one who stole back Zababa from the treasury, and helped her train with it.

    But she really didn't understand any of it.

    "What does it even mean to fight a dragon like it's a kitten?"

    Ishtar:
    "Idiotic goddess, can't you see I'm busy!?"

    Siduri:
    "Please control yourself, lady Pestur."

    Keywords

    Zababa

    The patron deity of the city of Kish, and a god of war. The true identity of his wife is difficult to pin down, as he was said to have been married to the goddess Baba, and other times to the goddess Inanna.
    He is also said to have bore two sons, Igalima and Shul Shagana, who acted as his gatekeeper and butler respectively.

    However other sources claim they are the names of his twin swords, Ig-aima (meaning "green blade") and Sul-sagana (meaning "red blade.") The truth is surprisingly very simple, as both are true. Zababa had two sons, and both were giving one part of a set each.

    Conversely, the weapon Pestur uses happens to he a green sickle-like blade, but she says its name is also Zababa. Likely she'd be able to help if she could remember things properly.

    Dumuzid

    Radiant fluffiness, that which makes one forget all issues and personal woes. A true cure-all.

    "I appreciate the attention, but stealing my sheep and using me as a mount aren't doing favors for my wool."

    Ma-Tur

    Her childhood nickname. It was originally given to her by Gilgamesh, and roughly means "little fig." He still calls her this whenever they argue.
    Last edited by Der Ritter; December 30th, 2019 at 07:37 PM.

  8. #16828
    祖 Ancestor Dragolord09's Avatar
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    I'm guessing an Enmebarages sheet is in the works?

  9. #16829
    Not a day over sixty and with the eyes of a cornered ferret. WhiteFrenzy's Avatar
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    Creator notes
    Don't take this sheet seriously, like, at all. And at the same time, it was kind of a serious attempt of a Shinji-face Servant by my part.

    I always wanted a pseudo-Servant of his in F/GO but at the same time, I knew that if he ever came to my Chaldea I'd bully him nonstop hahaha. So this sheet is kind of a take on this idea, that one day suddenly DW is crazy enough to give us this sort of craziness. I researched a bunch of archers and none of them seemed to make sense in a context where they would be possessing Shinji's body, until I came in contact with the classic, overused Cupid. Then it clicked, you know? So I HAD to try out this idea.

    I deeply apologize for everyone who ever did a sheet on this Greek god, ya'll are heroes and I'm just a sinner.



    Also, as you can see, I tried to make it very F/GO-ish, just as a little nice touch. Hope you guys like it!






    ★ ★ ★ ★ ★
    Eros





    Japanese name: エロース
    AKA: Herald of Passion, Cupid; Shinji Matou (間桐 慎二, Matō Shinji)
    Gender: Male
    Attribute: Sky
    Traits: Divine, Male, Humanoid, Servant, Weak to Enuma Elish, Pseudo-Servant



    Parameters
    Strength:


    Endurance:


    Agility:


    Mana:


    Luck:


    Noble Phantasm:







    Originally a strong Archer, under the right circumstances a contender for the Grand title, even. In this body, though, his parameters and Skills actually got weaker.

    ―Huh? But isn’t that the case, since a god cannot be materialized with their full power as a Servant?

    “No, not like that… Like, this body is really, super weak…”


    ――Ah.


    Class Skills

    Independent Action: C


    Eros’s original Rank in this Skill was supposed to be A, but it has been lowered in compensation for a boost on his Magic Resistance Skill. (As a side note, this took an unreasonable amount of negotiation.)

    You see… This human is so pathetic that if he didn’t do something, they would be at disadvantage here, so he just saved this guy some face.





    Magic Resistance: B-


    Invalidates magic with three verses or less. Receives mostly no damage even against High-Thaumaturgy or Greater Rituals. And depending on the situation, High-Thaumaturgy spells are also mostly invalidated.

    He can now step into the battlefield without the fear of being one-shot by a Caster’s laser beam right at the very first round.





    God’s Core: A


    A Personal Skill that express being a perfected god from birth, it also comprises the Skill Divinity. Repels most of mental interferences, preserves the absoluteness of body and mind and helps the body’s physical frame to remain unchanged.

    This effect, in particular, is one that this body is sure to approve, as it looks like he was used to eat at dinners since his little sister did not cooked for him any longer, or something like that…



    Overview
    The Greek god of love and sexual desire. Birthed by Chaos, he is one of the three primordial gods, with Gaia and Tartarus.

    Ah―? Isn’t something wrong in here?

    He might tell you that it was simply because of the very human tendency of simplifying things that he eventually came to be known as the son of Aphrodite. Although to any other god that probably would be an unbearable shame, he tends to laugh off his demotion to “son of his junior.”


    Even though he is a divine spirit, he really wanted to help somehow. And since there is a Greek main event going on, he thought that the timing was perfect. Of course, this body of his will not say that, preferring to shake his head and go, “Well, I heard you pathetically crying in the corner, so I thought you could use your voice to praise me instead.”

    Well… I mean… You see… Look at what this person is saying right now, mister… You might want to re-think your decision about manifesting yourself by borrowing the body of this specific individual…


    Bond 1
    Height/Weight: 167cm ・ 57kg
    Source: Greek Mythology
    Region: Greece
    Alignment: Chaotic Good
    Gender: Male


    Of course, this mighty, supreme human vessel is 100% in control of his own body――

    ――Or it is what Eros wanted to say, but frankly, this guy is just so, so, sooooo weak that it would be too easy to take over, so he’s only allowing the human to dictate their pace most of the time out of pity.


    Bond 2
    The mythological Eros, despite mischievous, was not known for having a short temper. If anything, he was extremely patient, always being dragged around by Aphrodite.

    One of the most popular myths about Eros involves his relationship with the mortal princess Psyche. He was smitten by her at first sight so, instead of punishing her for her beauty as Aphrodite intended, he decided to make her fall in love with him. They had a beautiful relationship that blossomed into a beautiful marriage… But turns out that the goddess of Love and Beauty did not took well him rejecting her plans, and so she controlled Psyche’s sisters and led them to make Psyche betray Eros, who was so shocked by that turn of events that he left his wife. (He does admit, though, that it was one of those decisions that you start to regret the moment you make them.)

    As Psyche begged to Aphrodite to reunite her with her husband again, the goddess gave the mortal princess a series of tasks before that; should she complete them all, she would concede and lead her to Eros. Psyche managed to complete them with her willpower and mortal strength, deeply impressing the goddess; but it seems that Eros was accompanying his wife’s journey all the while. He fell in love all over again by admiring her tenacity, and rushed to her even before Aphrodite’s help. Zeus granted Psyche immortality after her trials, and they lived happily ever after. ♥️


    ―It does seems, though, that this body wants so much to say something like, “Humph! This woman was stupid or what? Doing all of that for this loser!” that it is even trembling with effort. But Eros, despite withstanding all manners of jabs at his person, won’t tolerate anyone badmouthing his wife.


    Bond 3
    Omnia Vicinit Amor
    Let us Surrender Ourselves to Love






    Rank:
    B
    Type: Anti-Unit
    Range: 100~150
    Max. number of targets: 2~5 people



    A Noble Phantasm that is born from love, in order to love―it represents the extent of his legend as the Herald of Passion, Cupid. As long as Eros holds love in his heart, and as long as love can be felt in this realm, he is fated to become continuously stronger, both in body and mind. Like the dizzying feeling of passion slowly becoming a crystallization of delicate love, it is a burst of strength that, with time, becomes a continuous flow of bonusses.

    His legendary golden arrows are originally meant to hijack the willpower of any individual pierced by them, making them susceptible to fall in love with whoever Eros wishes (usually being the first person they saw), but this time he opted to make them stun enemies instead. He concluded that, by being in the flesh right in front of the enemy, naturally he’d be the target of their newfound affections, and that was far too cruel to them… To even entertain the idea of loving this child is…


    Bond 4

    Abject Personality: A


    A Skill that unfortunately came out of the human vessel he’d picked. It seems that, no matter what, the enemy’s hostile attention will always be drawn to this particular individual, increasing the probabilities of him being attacked. Maybe he shouldn’t taunt his foes that much…

    In a baffling turn of events, despite being a 5-star ranked Servant, even Masters are prone to burn him for Rare Prisms for some strange reason…





    To You, With Love: A++


    A composite Skill that is also a hymn of blessing―the ultimate support―by the god that loves all things equally. With this Skill, Eros may grant various positive effects to one ally. It seems that those effects are not limited to benefits for the battlefield only, but also can grant positive influences outside of it.

    However, because he is borrowing the body of an individual who loves himself first and foremost, the possibility that this person might use such blessings on himself is not one to be ignored.





    Pathe: A


    A Skill that seems to scream, “I’m so sorry I’m here with you right now, please take this and don’t hate this child too much.” A blessing from the god of love to every ally forced to stand his boisterous presence, it becomes temporary invincibility for the party, amongst other welcomed blessings.

    ――Looks like it was partially inspired by the episode where the almighty Zeus granted eternal life to the mortal princess Psyche by making her ingest ambrosia.


    Bond 5
    Eros chooses this human vessel specifically for three reasons, which he cannot disclose out loud out of fear that it will break this poor human’s heart. (And make him even more unbearable, since his pride might be injured too.)


    The first reason is simple: he has decent archery skills.

    ―――Wait, are you serious? That really is supposed to be one of the reasons!?


    The second reason it’s because he is just like his “mother.” Aphrodite was a flashy and haughty goddess, full of herself and prideful on her (few) attributes. She was quick to anger, even quicker to offend and hard to please. When she started to go around proclaiming herself to be the goddess of Love, Eros felt disbelief over her lack of shame―but he knew it was for the best if he left her to believe that it was exactly what she was. It seems that her delusions soon reached the human realm and they all started to chant that she was indeed the only and supreme goddess of love and… Oh well… By then, Eros was in peace with the idea of being “her son.”

    So, as you can see, this pitiful human being, who loves to look down on people and has few redeeming qualities felt just like home for the god of Love.


    Bond 6
    ――Okay, but what about the third and final reason, then?


    …The third reason, you ask?

    Well, you see… He is such a pathetic child that Eros felt that if anyone in this planet needed someone to love them, even if it’s just a little, even if it was out of pity, it was this guy right here. Somewhere, there’s an Indian goddess who seems to nod her head in approval, understanding that reasoning somehow.

    Ahh, but do not tell him that! He will definitely throw one of those silly tantrums of his if he finds out!



    Extra




    It seems that this person truly appreciates Master, but he is too arrogant to show it properly. What a troublesome child.

    But, just because you’ve fully bonded with him, don’t forget to keep using him on battles from now on, alright? He loves to feel useful. And, who knows… He might become a good cannon fodder, if nothing else. (“O-Oi!”)
    Last edited by WhiteFrenzy; December 30th, 2019 at 03:26 PM.
    ——————
    WHITEFRENZY'S
    servants | masters
    —
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  10. #16830
    後継者 Successor Bugs's Avatar
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    “▂▂▃▃▄▄▅▅!"

    Class: Berserker
    Other Classes: Caster, Avenger
    Epithet: Wolf of Battle
    Alignment: Chaotic Mad
    Place of Origin: Scandinavia

    Likes: Poetry, violence
    Dislikes: Odin, insults, cheating
    Natural Enemy: Eric Bloodaxe
    Armament: Mystic Code mask, cursed axe
    Catalyst: Bloodied piece of silver

    Parameters:
    STR: B+
    END: A+
    AGI: C
    MGI: C
    LCK: E
    NP: C

    Class Skills:
    Mad Enhancement: B
    Mad Enhancement is the Class Skill that characterizes a Berserker, raising basic parameters and strengthens one's physical abilities in exchange for hindering mental capacities and/or in exchange for their sense of reason. In some cases, it also affects and/or seals away some techniques, Personal Skills and Noble Phantasms.

    Berserker committed his first murder at the tender age of seven, after having been cheated at a game by another boy. Though a wise man, Berserker’s tendency towards savage rage precedes him. Among the multiple instances of fury-driven killings, Berserker once bit a man’s throat clean through during a holmgang--an honorable duel situated on a tiny island.

    Personal Skills:
    Primordial Rune: -
    Primordial Rune is the possession of and knowledge about Runes that came from an older era. Those with possession and knowledge of Primordial Runes can also make use of the classic Rune Magic.

    He has runes hailing from Scandinavia, also known as Scandinavian Magic Crests. There is no record of where Berserker might have learned the runes, nor was there ever any record of his previous ancestors possessing their power. Yet, it is a skill that persists, just like Berserker’s talent for poetry.

    Master of the 18 Original Runes. His use of them in life was remarkably varied, however as a Berserker the nuances of their use has been mostly lost. Luckily, this discrepancy has (mostly) been accounted for with Berserker’s Noble Phantasm.

    Mixed-Blood: C+
    Mixed-Blood indicates that the blood of something inhuman is mixed in with that of a human.

    The product of several instances of man breeding with giants throughout many branches of Berserker’s family tree. His great-grandmother was known to be directly descended from a human and giant pair; however, strangely the consistency of the giant’s blood did not diminish within further generations, his grandfather Kveldulf and father Grim exhibited the exact same qualities as their Phantasmal Species ancestor. On the other hand, certain members of Berserker’s family, such as his brother Thorolf, displayed no such evidence of giant’s blood manifesting within them.

    The exact species of the giant in question is that of a Bergriese--a mountain giant.

    Berserker displays the size, strength, and increased mana pool appropriate for one related to a giant. The decreased intelligence is absent, considering his skill at poetry, however in the Berserker class this retainment of faculties is moot.

    A theory for Berserker’s great skill at poetry and runes is that further up his family line he is related to Odin through one of the many sons the god had with the giantess Skadi. Berserker’s arguably personal attacks towards Odin in his poetry suggests a deeper connection, however because of Berserker’s hatred for the god in question, he would refuse all claims of divinity regardless.

    Madness of the Spirits: A
    Madness of the Spirits is the ability to awaken the spirits sleeping within the earth and crush the wills and minds of the enemy forces with one's growl.

    The agitation of the landvaettir, Nature Spirits found throughout the Norse and Germanic world. A skill associated most immediately with Berserker’s famous curse, in which he implored the spirits of the land to drive the king out of the country. Years after his death, when Harald Bluetooth attempted to invade Iceland, he sent a magus in his employ to scout the area. The magus was reportedly turned back by the Four Great Landvaettir of Iceland, rumored to be due to a posthumous curse coming from Berserker.

    This mental interference causes a temporary decrease in STR and AGI in all enemies.

    Noble Phantasm(s):
    Declaration of Rage to Shake the Earth
    Bφπgζπir Jarngrimr


    Type: Anti-Unit (Self)
    Rank: C
    Range: 1
    Max Targets: 1

    “And when all was ready for sailing, Egil went up into the island. He took in his hand a hazel-pole, and went to a rocky eminence that looked inward to the mainland. Then he took a horse’s head and fixed it on the pole. After that, in solemn form of curse, he thus spake: ’Here set I up a curse-pole, and this curse I turn on king Eric and queen Gunnhilda. (Here he turned the horse’s head landwards.) This curse I turn also on the guardian-spirits who dwell in this land, that they may all wander astray, nor reach or find their home till they have driven out of the land king Eric and Gunnhilda.’

    This spoken, he planted the pole down in a rift of the rock, and let it stand there. The horse’s head he turned inwards to the mainland; but on the pole he cut runes, expressing the whole form of curse.”

    In the Viking age the most spectacular way of cursing an enemy was by the Nithing Pole (the Nithstong or Scorn-Post). They were poles about nine feet long upon which insults and curses were carved in runes. Ceremonies were performed to activate the destructive magic of the pole. A horse's skull was fixed to the top of the pole, and it was stuck into the ground with the skull facing towards the house of the accursed person. The pole channeled the destructive forces of Hela, goddess of death. These forces were carried up the pole and projected through the horse skull.

    Among nithing poles, Berserker’s is by far the most famous. An Amplifier-type Mystic Code created by the warrior known as Berserker, also an accomplished magus. Substituting the pole for his own body, Berserker has turned the horse skull atop it into a helmet of sorts, modifying it slightly by making the snout of the skull into something more akin to a gun barrel. All 18 runes are carved into the skull, which can be activated even quicker than a usual usage of runecraft merely by passing Mana through the mask. The product of the runes are then, of course, expelled out through the barrel at the target, markedly increased in power.

    Because the Mystic Code is drawing power directly from Hela through the earth, up into his body, and through the helmet; rapid rune-powered attacks won’t take a toll on Berserker’s own supply of Od. It also turns the extremities of his limbs a dyed black color. He can also channel more simple rune magecraft through the skull, such as Gandr. If a certain red devil’s Gandr can be compared to a pistol shot, then Berserker’s is something closer to a high caliber rifle.

    It seems he’s also installed something in the jaw, so that Berserker is actually able to open his mouth. Of course, it’s probably just an excuse to bite people...

    Its name, Bφπgζπir Jarngrimr, is composed of two names for Odin: “Battle-Enhancer” and “Iron Mask” respectively. Read together, it’s possible to come to the conclusion to call it “Battle enhancing iron mask.” Berserker finds it a frustratingly ironic, if accurate title.

    Flesh-Rending Bestial Axe
    Undead Son of the Wolf

    Type: Anti-Unit
    Rank: C
    Range: 1~2
    Max Targets: 1

    ’The fierce would-wolf’s tooth-edge
    Hath flaws not a few,
    An axe all deceitful,
    A wood cleaver weak.
    Begone! worthless weapon,
    With shaft smoke-begrimed:
    A prince ill-beseemed it
    Such present to send.’

    The sister-axe to Eric Bloodaxe’s Blood-Sipping Bestial Axe, given to Berserker’s brother as a token of friendship and good faith. The axe was presented to Berserker’s father, who sensed its demonic aspect and would have nothing to do with it. Rather than keep such a cursed weapon around, the axe was thrown up into the rafters of the family home, left to be spoiled by the smoke of many fires. It was thought to have been taken down and thrown into the ocean, never to be seen again, but it’s clear that Berserker would not let such a unique weapon go to waste, taking it for himself.

    Forged from the same demonic beast slain by Eric and Berserker’s brother Thorolf, there are certain key differences between the two axes. While Eric’s can be called a “living beast feeding on human life to sustain itself”, Berserker’s axe can be called a “living beast that feeds on human life for pleasure”. Berserker’s father, when using it once to chop wood, noted that the axe refused to do so much as dent the bark of the log he was attempting to cut. Further testing concluded that the axe would only respond to human flesh, making it a weapon one can swing wildly without thinking about collateral damage. Only the death of the target is guaranteed.

    As with Eric’s axe, it has no real True Name. If Bφπgζπir Jarngrimr is the Noble Phantasm that makes Berserker an effective long-range type warrior, then Undead Son of the Wolf ensures his effectiveness as a close-range unit as well.


    Lore:

    Egil, son of Skalla-Grim, son of Kveldulf, son of Bjalfi, was a warrior-poet of 10th century Iceland.

    Born into a well-off family in Norway, Egil’s story begins with his grandfather Kveldulf and the rise of Harald Fairhair. Kveldulf opposed the rising power of Harald Fairhair, king of Vestfold, but refused to join the coalition against Harald led by King Kjotve the Rich of Agder, and would not fight in the army of the kings of Sogn.

    He permitted his son Thorolf to join Harald's retinue and was permitted to live in peace despite failing to swear allegiance to the king. Thorolf, for what it was worth, was a splendid warrior in Harald’s service, and was one of his closest confidants. However, due to internal political conflict from the half-siblings of Thorolf’s wife, Harald allowed himself to be convinced that Thorolf was envious of his wealth and kingship. Harald thus had Thorolf executed.

    Enraged by this act of bitter disrespect, Kveldulf and his other son Skalla-Grim took vengeance on Thorolf’s killers, before fleeing Norway for Iceland. Kveldulf died, and Skalla-Grim became head of the family. He had several children, the last of which being Egil.

    The feud between the sons of Ulf and Harald’s family seemed to cool at some point. In a spectacular lack of historical awareness, Skalla-Grim’s eldest son and Egil’s older brother--also named Thorolf--took after his uncle in personality and went to join Harald’s retinue back in Norway. He found that Harald had had a son, the young Eric Bloodaxe, and as a token of appeasement gave the young lord his finest ship. Eric thus went to his father on Thorolf’s behalf, and got the king to promise to accept the gift and leave the family alone--so long as they didn’t get in his way.

    Egil was an unnatural, cursed child. By the age of three he was as big as a boy of seven, and by the age of twelve he was bigger than most grown men. He could speak, compose fantastical poetry, and drank copious amounts of alcohol before his fifth birthday, and as stated above, first killed another human at seven.

    (The men in Egil’s family had a habit for several generations to be born monstrous in appearance, and far stronger than their peers. This is a phenomenon born from Egil’s great-grandmother, who was half-giant. Of course, it’s common knowledge that mixed-blood species dilute through consecutive generations, yet this is an issue that Egil’s bloodline never seemed to encounter. In a word, one could call it the Sorcery Trait of Egil’s family, to have consistently “fresh blood” no matter the distance from one’s historical Phantasmal ancestor.)

    Egil got into several arguments with his father about being let out to go roving like his brother, some turning violent when the two of them would turn their shape-shifting berserker state on each other. Escaping from the family compound by accompanying one of his friends on a tax-collection for Eric, Egil’s true purpose as a Viking warrior finally begins. The man Egil was meant to collect tax from put Egil and his friend up for the night when they arrived, having survived a particularly harsh storm.

    However when Eric came in person to meet the man, the king was enraged that the Norse concept of hospitality put others before himself. To make up, the whole party got to drinking. Egil, being an already nasty individual and an even nastier drunk, offended everyone present with his gluttony. Gunnhild, who was also present with Eric (and who was secretly enamored with Egil’s bestial nature) poisoned Egil’s next cup of ale. The assassination attempt failed when Egil exposed the poison with runes, and promptly murdered the man he believed responsible.

    Gunnhild then set her brothers to assassinate Egil, but were instead murdered themselves. This only further drew the royal pair’s ire (and Gunnhild’s perverse lust), and after Harald died and Eric murdered his brothers to ensure the throne, declared Egil an outlaw in Norway. Before escaping Norway, Egil killed Eric and Gunnhild’s son Rφgnvaldr. He then cursed the king and queen--the infamous event of the nithing pole--and left. Gunnhild cursed Egil as well, to feel restless and unfulfilled until they met again.

    Egil and Thorolf thus survived for several months by way of raiding. During one of their voyages, Thorolf was killed in action. The death of one of the few people Egil ever cared for marks the first time he cursed Odin personally, for giving him the gift of poetry and the runes but not the strength to protect his beloved brother.

    The climax of Egil’s life comes after several more years of harrying and raiding, after shipwrecking on a British shore under the rule of King Athelstan. Earlier, Eric and Gunnhild had been driven out of Norway by Hakon, and had been set up as rulers of Northumbria by Olaf of Scotland. Egil, eager to continue his lifelong campaign against Eric, went to war with Northumbria in the service of Athelstan. Egil was captured during a battle, and was once more brought before Eric.

    Gunnhild called for his immediate execution, but Viking code forbade the killing of a man during the night. Egil composed his magnum opus--his “head ransom drαpa--during that same night. The twenty-stanza poem was considered such objective perfection that Eric could do nothing but give Egil his life, even though Egil had killed Eric’s own son.

    Ultimately, Egil returned to his family farm in Iceland, where he remained a power to be reckoned with in local politics. He lived into his eighties and died shortly before the Christianisation of Iceland. Before Egil died he buried his silver treasure near Mosfellsbζr. In his last act of violence he murdered the servant who helped him bury his treasure.


    Creator Notes:

    The timeline might have gotten messed up in a few places, but overall everything is taken from the account given by Egil’s Saga.

    The half-giant aspect of Egil’s lineage stems from the Norse belief that the Sami people were distinctly “other”, and oftentimes seen as either inferior or closer to the spirits than other races. “Half-troll” or “Half-giant” is a by-name given to people of mixed race, such as Egil’s ancestor Hallbjorn.

    This coincides, perhaps, with the fact that Egil and several members of his family displayed symptoms of Paget’s disease, explaining their size, strength, and madness from an euhemeristic standpoint. The famous episode that took place long after Egil’s death, when his skull was exhumed and struck with an axe--the skull taking no damage other than turning white--proved this succinctly even before knowledge of the disease was well known.

    Paget’s disease is still relatively widespread in modern Iceland, despite the small population of the island--a product of Egil’s descendants, perhaps.

    I suppose Egil could also qualify for Lancer since the nithing pole is, well, a pole, but it didn’t feel quite right.

    I hope this Lore section is better than Vikrama's.

  11. #16831
    神秘 Obscure Shiki-pon's Avatar
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    FC Link (Gallery NSFW)
    Alternate Classes: Saber, Caster
    True Name: Pandukabhaya
    Alignment: Lawful Neutral
    Origin: South Asia (5th century BCE)
    Armament: Sword

    Parameters:
    STR: C+
    END: C
    AGI: B
    MANA: B
    LUCK: A+
    NP: C+

    Skills
    Class Skills

    Magic Resistance - Rank C+: Grants protection against magical effects. Differing from the Resistance effect that merely rejects Magical Energy, this ability cancels the spells altogether.
    Cancel spells with a chant below two verses. Cannot defend against magecraft on the level of High-Thaumaturgy and Greater Rituals. Rider is particularly resistant to curses.

    Riding - Rank A+: A Class Skill of Rider and Saber class Servants, denoting the ability to ride mounts and vehicles. Rider-class Servants will typically possess a high rank. It is said that dragon type mounts are an exception, requiring a different ability other than Riding.
    All vehicles and all creatures up to the level of Phantasmal Beast and Divine Beast can be used as mounts. However, that does not apply to members of the Dragon Kind.

    Personal Skills

    Protection of the Yaksha - Rank A+: A Skill manifesting the protection of the Yaksha. As a testament to their effectiveness, the user’s Luck parameter is ranked up and plus modifiers are granted to all sorts of checks.
    Throughout his life, Rider was watched over and protected by the Yaksha. He eventually gained the allegiance of an entire tribe through his prowess, with the Yaksha’s queen serving as his steed and advisor.

    Teachings of the Brahmin - Rank B: Lessons learned from a Brahmin sage. These lessons range from statesmanship, military action and morality, as well as spiritual matters.
    Rider was taught by the Brahmin Pandula, mastering the art of kingship and proving particularly adept at the arts of war. Whether facing a master swordsman or a cunning archer, Rider can overcome almost any foe. Combat power is increased with all kinds of weapons. In addition, Rider gains the benefits of the Bravery and Eye of the Mind (True) Skills.

    Noble Phantasms

    Witch-Mare of the Yakkha
    Yakkhinidevī Chetiya

    Anti-Army, Rank B~A++
    Rider’s mount and advisor, queen of the Yakkha, Chetiya. Having taken the form of a white mare with crimson feet in order to entice Rider as a young man, Rider proved to more than Chetiya could handle. In order to have him spare her life, Chetiya pledged her loyalty and that of her tribe to his cause. During his campaigns, Chetiya served as Rider’s mount and tactical advisor.
    Though a powerful Phantasmal Beast, Yakkhinidevī Chetiya’s specialty is her status as one that was worshipped. Through rituals, it is possible for her to increase her power exponentially, even rising to a level of strength equivalent to a Phantasmal Beast of the Millennium-Rank. However, these rituals are very taxing and require several acolytes to perform properly, taking up to a full day.
    Though Chetiya herself is powerful enough, the activation of Yakkhinidevī Chetiya allows her to fully unleash her power. Unleashing a veritable roar, Chetiya will charge toward her targets, and release a bow-wave of magical energy before her. The release of energy also allows Chetiya to fight at her fullest, as a terrifying queen of demons. For a short duration, her abilities will be further boosted in proportion to the gathered power. Combined with the shockwave of its activation, Yakkhinidevī Chetiya allows her to overwhelm even members of the Knight classes.

    Golden Palm Leaf Sword
    Kaρcanaka Tālapaṇṇa

    Anti-Demon, Rank B
    An Anti-Unit Noble Phantasm that displays its true power against demonic enemies. It is a golden sword, which was transformed from a palm leaf when Rider grasped it in his hand. Due to Rider’s current class, most of its abilities have been sealed away.
    As it is, Kaρcanaka Tālapaṇṇa is simply an Anti-Unit Noble Phantasm that deals further increased damage against demons, as well as providing protection from possession and mental interference effects. Due to its origin as a reward for Rider’s ‘merit’, he also gains ability as a leader, slightly improving the attack power of allied forces.
    In the Saber class, its activation would seal away the target’s supernatural abilities. It would also possess the ability to subvert the will of magical and demonic entities, allowing the user to bend them to their own will.

    The Ruler of the Night
    Nagaraguttika

    Anti-Unit, Rank C+
    A Noble Phantasm that Rider finds so unsavoury as to consider it sealed. It allows Rider to transfer the abilities of his Saint Graph to another, allowing them to fight in his stead. Nagaraguttika is based on its namesake, the Ruler of the Night, a regent allowed to rule Rider’s kingdom while he was unable to attend his duties. The Noble Phantasm has been twisted to accommodate the multitudes that died in his place while he was hunted by his uncles.
    In order to use Nagaraguttika, Rider would have to relinquish his physical form, transforming into his spiritual body. However, his abilities as a Servant would be transferred to a willing target for the duration of the king’s rest. This Noble Phantasm is excellent for allowing Rider to recover his magical energy reserves, but places the target at a considerable risk.

    Description
    Likes: The arts of war, cooperation
    Dislikes: Others suffering for his sake, destiny
    Talents: All forms of combat, ruling justly
    Natural Enemy: Arjuna

    Rider’s true identity is Pandukabhaya, the First King of Anuradhapura.

    A king both blessed by the assistance of those around them as well as cursed by his power-hungry uncles. Pandukabhaya, however, considers himself first and foremost a warrior. Though he does not regret his life, he has some resentment towards the path of destiny he walked, especially due to the blood others shed in his and his uncles’ stead. Pandukabhaya is warlike by nature, in spite of his merciful heart towards those that have no direct part in a conflict, and finds that the art of battle is the only one he ever felt at home with.
    Pandukabhaya has a very direct way of thinking, and would often eschew planning altogether in favour of simply proceeding to his objective. As a Rider, he is accompanied by one of his advisors, the Yakkha Chetiya, who tempers his approach with her guidance. Pandukabhaya is more than aware of his flaws, and is quite willing to take the advice of others in regards to his next action and to exercise great patience when the situation calls for it. Pandukabhaya and Chetiya’s relationship is far less than that of a ruler and an advisor or a student and a teacher, however, and they are prone to childish bickering over trivial matters. Chetiya, for her part, is not pleased with being called to serve her king long after his death. She is even less pleased that Pandukabhaya has rejected acting as a king in his incarnation as a Servant, upending their entire relationship.
    Pandukabhaya is quick to form bonds with other warrior Heroic Spirits and those that enjoy battle for its own sake. He affords the greatest of respect to those legendary kings that fought on the frontlines, or better yet faced threats to their countries or their peoples by themselves. Conversely, manipulators and deceivers disgust him, as do those who abuse others in their hunger for power. Servants that can call upon Phantasmal Species and those that are Phantasmal Species themselves are close to his heart, as much of the good in life was born from the assistance of such creatures.
    As he is quite dutiful, Pandukabhaya serves his Master more or less without complaint. Though he might take exception to particular actions, he mostly keeps his peace, serving as a warrior for the Master’s sake. He does insist, however, that his Master accompanies him to the battlefield, especially should Pandukabhaya be called to kill another for their sake. It could be said that Pandukabhaya expects much of his Master, but offers much in return as well.
    Pandukabhaya’s wish to the Holy Grail is to be allowed to live a life as a warrior rather than as a king. Should he be summoned by a proper Master, it is likely that his wish would already be considered granted.

    Lore
    Pandukabhaya was born into the royal family of Lanka. His was to be a stormy youth, as he had a number of power-hungry uncles, who feared that an heir to the throne would take away their authority and deny them their kingship. As commanded by Pandukabhaya’s mother Ummadacitta a serving-woman took the boy, laid him in a basket and went with him to Dvaramandalaka.
    When the princes, who had gone a-hunting in the Tumbara forest saw the serving woman they asked her: "Where art thou going? What is that?'" She answered: "I am going to Dvramandalaka; that is a sweet cake for my daughter." The princes said to her. "Take it out." Then two Yakkhas, Citta and Kalavela, who had come forth to protect Pandukabhaya caused a great boar to appear at that moment. The princes pursued him; and the serving woman took the boy and went thither and gave the boy and a thousand pieces of money secretly to a certain man who was entrusted with the matter. On that very day his wife bore a son, and he, declaring: "My wife has borne twin sons," reared that boy with his own.
    The boy was only seven years old when his uncles found out where he was and charged followers of theirs to kill him at a certain pond where Pandukabhaya used to play with other boys. Now the boy was used to hiding, by diving, in a certain hollow tree standing in the water and having the mouth of the hollow hidden under water, entering by the hollow, and when he had stayed long within he would come forth in the same way, and being again among the other boys, however much they questioned him, he would mislead them with evasive words.
    On the day the princes' people came the boy with his clothes on dived into the water and stayed hidden in the hollow tree. When those men had counted the clothes and killed the other boys they went away and declared: "The boys have all been killed!" When they were gone the boy went to his foster-father's' house, and comforted by him he lived there until he was twelve years of age.
    When his uncles again heard that the boy was alive they charged their followers to kill all the herdsmen. On that day the herdsmen had taken a deer and sent. the boy into the village to bring fire. He went home, but sent his foster father's son out saying: "I am footsore, take thou fire for the herdsmen; then thou too wilt have some of the roast to eat." Hearing those words he took fire to the herdsmen: and at that moment those men dispatched to do it surrounded the herdsmen and killed them all, and when they had killed them they went and told the boy's uncles.
    Then, when he was sixteen years old, his uncles discovered him; his mother sent him a thousand pieces of money and a command to bring him to a place of safety. His foster father told him all his mother's message, and giving him a slave and the thousand pieces of money he sent him to Pandula. The brahman named Pandula, a rich man and learned in the vedas, dwelt in the southern district in the village of Pandulagamaka. The prince went thither and sought out the brahman Pandula. When this latter had asked him: "Art thou Pandukabhaya, my dear?" and was answered "Yes", he paid him honour as a guest and said: "Thou wilt be king, and full seventy years wilt thou rule; learn the art, my dear!" and he instructed him, and by his son Canda also that art was mastered in a short time.
    He gave him a hundred thousand pieces of money to enrol soldiers and when five hundred men had been enrolled by him, he said: "The woman at whose touch leaves turn to gold make thou thy queen, and my son Canda thy chaplain." When he had thus said and given him money he sent him forth from thence with his soldiers. Proclaiming his name he, the virtuous prince, fared forth and when in the city of Paia near the Kasa-mountain he had gathered together seven hundred followers and provision for all, he went thence, followed by one thousand two hundred men to the mountain called Ginkanda.
    An uncle of Pandukabhaya, named Girikandasiva, drew his revenues from this district that Panduvasudeva had handed over to him. This prince was even then on the point of reaping a field measuring a hundred karisas; his daughter was the beautiful princess named Pali. And she, with a great retinue, had mounted her splendid waggon, and came bringing food for her father and for the reapers. The prince's men, who saw the princess there, told the prince about her; the prince coming thither in haste and dividing her followers into two bands, drove his own waggon, followed by his men, near her and asked: "Where art thou going?" And when she had told him all the prince, whose heart was fired with love, asked for a share of the food.
    She stepped down from the waggon and, at the foot of a banyan-tree, she offered the prince food in a golden bowl. Then she took banyan-leaves to entertain the rest of the people with food and in all instant the leaves were changed into golden vessels. When the prince saw this and remembered the brahman's words he was glad thinking: "I have found the maiden who is worthy to be made queen." So she entertained them all, but yet the food became not less; it seemed that but one man's portion had been taken away. Thus from that time onward that youthful princess who was so rich in virtues and merit was called by the name Suvannapali.
    And the prince took the maiden and mounted his waggon and fared onward, fearless, and surrounded by a mighty army.
    When her father heard this he dispatched all his soldiers, and they came and gave battle and returned, defeated by the others; at that place afterwards a village was built called Kalahanagara. When her five brothers heard this they also departed to make war. And all those did Canda the son of Pandula slay; Lohitavahakhanda was their battle-field.
    With a great host Pandukabhaya marched from thence to the further shore of the Ganga toward the Dola-mountain. Here he sojourned four years. When his uncles heard that he was there they marched thither, leaving the king behind, to do battle with him. When they had made a fortified camp near the Dhόmarakkha-mountain they fought a battle with their nephew. But the nephew pursued the uncles to this side of the river, and having defeated them in flight he held their fortified camp for two years.
    And they went to Upatissagama and told all this to the king. And the king sent the prince a letter together with a thousand pieces of money saying: "Keep thou possession of the land on the further shore, but come not over to this shore." When the nine brothers heard of this they were wroth with the king and said: "Long hast thou been, in truth, a helper to him Now dost thou give him the kingdom. For that we will put thee to death." He yielded up the government to them, and with one accord they appointed their brother named Tissa to be regent.
    This safety-giving Abhaya had reigned as king in Upatissagama twenty years.
    Now a Yakkhini queen named Chetiya, who dwelt on the Dhammarakkha-mountain near the pond called Tumbariyangana, used to wander about in the form of a mare.
    And once a certain man saw this beautiful mare with her white body and red feet and told the prince: Here is a mare whose appearance is thus and so.
    The prince took a noose and came to capture her. When she saw him coming up behind her she fled for fear of his majestic aspect. She fled without rendering herself invisible and he pursued her swiftly as she fled. Seven times in her flight she circled round the pond, and plunging into the Mahaganga and climbing forth again to the shore she fled seven times around the Dhumarakkha-mountain; and yet three times more she circled round the pond and plunged yet again in the Ganga near the Kacchaka-ford, but there he seized her by the mane and grasped a palm-leaf that was floating down the stream; by the effect of his merit this turned into a golden sword. He thrust at her with the sword, crying: "I will slay thee." And she said to him: "I will conquer the kingdom and give it to thee, lord! Slay me not!" Then he seized her by the neck and boring her nostrils with the point of his sword he secured her thus with a rope; but she followed wheresoever he would.
    When the mighty hero had gone to the Dhumarakkha mountain, bestriding the mare, he dwelt there on the Dhumarakkha-mountain four years. And having marched thence with his force and come to the Arittha-mountain he sojourned there seven years awaiting a fit time to make war.

    Eight of his uncles, leaving two behind, drew near to the Arittha-mountain in battle array, and when they had laid out a fortified camp near a small city and had placed a commander at the head they surrounded the Arittha-mountain on every side.
    After speech with the Yakkhini, the prince, according to her cunning counsel, sent in advance a company of his soldiers taking with them kingly apparel and weapons as presents and the message: Take all this; I will make peace with you. But as they were lulled to security thinking: "We will take him prisoner if he comes," he mounted the Yakkha-mare and went forth to battle at the head of a great host. The Yakkhini neighed full loudly and his army, inside and outside the camp raised a mighty battle-cry. The prince's men killed all the soldiers of the enemy's army and the eight uncles with them, and they raised a pyramid of skulls. The commander escaped and fled for safety to a thicket; that same thicket is therefore called Senapatigumbaka. When the prince saw the pyramid of skulls, where the skulls of his uncles lay uppermost, be said: "Tis like a heap of gourds;" and therefore they named the place Labugamaka.
    When he was thus left victor in battle, Pandukabhaya went thence to the dwelling-place of his great-uncle Anuradha. The great-uncle handed over his palace to him and built himself a dwelling elsewhere; but he dwelt in his house. When he had inquired of a soothsayer who was versed in the knowledge of fitting sites, he founded the capital, even near that village. Since it had served as dwelling to two Anuradhas, it was called Anuradhapura, and also because it was founded under the constellation Anuradha. When he had caused the state parasol of his uncles to be brought and purified in a natural pond that is here, Pandukabhaya kept it for himself and with the water of that same pond he solemnized his own consecration; and Suvannapali, his spouse, he consecrated queen. On the young Canda, even as he had agreed, he conferred the office of his chaplain and other appointments on his other followers according to their merits.
    Because his mother and he himself had been befriended by him, he did not slay the king Abhaya, his eldest uncle, but handed over the government to him for the night-time: he became the `Nagaraguttika' (Guardian of the City). From that time onward there were nagaraguttikas in the capital. Flis father-in-law also, Girikandasiva, he did not slay but handed over to this uncle the district of Girikanda. He had the pond' deepened and abundantly filled with water, and since he had taken water therefrom, when victories for his consecration, they called it Jayavapi. He settled the Yakkha Kalavela on the east side of the city, the Yakkha Cittaraja at the lower end of the Abhayatank. The slave-woman who had helped him in time past and was re-born of a Yakkhini, the thankful king settled at the south gate of the City. Within the royal precinct he housed the Chetiya, who was still bound to serve Pandukabhaya till the end of his days. Year by year he had sacrificial offerings made to them and to other Yakkhas; but on festival-days he sat with Cittaraja beside him on a seat of equal height, and having gods and men to dance before him, the king took his pleasure, in joyous and merry wise.
    He laid out four suburbs as well as the Abhaya-tank, the common cemetery, the place of execution, and the chapel of the Queens of the West, the banyan-tree of Vessavana and the Palmyra-palm of the Demon of Maladies, the ground set apart for the Yonas and the house of the Great Sacrifice; all these he laid out near the west gate.
    He set five hundred candalas to the work of cleaning the streets of the town, two hundred candalas to the work of cleaning the sewers, one hundred and fifty candalas he employed to bear the dead and as many candalas to be watchers in the cemetery. For these he built a village north-west of the cemetery and they continually carried out their duty as it was appointed.
    Toward the north-east of the candala-village he made the cemetery, called the Lower Cemetery, for the candala folk. North of this cemetery, between it and the Pasana-mountain, the line of huts for the huntsmen were built thenceforth. Northward from thence, as far as the Gamani-tank, a hermitage was made for many ascetics; eastward of that same cemetery the ruler built a house for the nigantha Jotiya. In that same region dwelt the nigantha named Gin and many ascetics of various heretical sects. And there the lord of the land built also a chapel for the nigantha Kumbhanda; it was named after him. Toward the west from thence and eastward of the street of the huntsmen lived five hundred families of heretical beliefs. On the further side of Jotiya's house and on this side of the Gamani tank he likewise built a monastery for wandering mendicant monks, and a dwelling for the ajivakas and a residence for the brahmans, and in this place and that he built a lying-in shelter and a hall for those recovering from sickness.
    Ten years after his consecration did Pandukabhaya rule over the whole of the island of Lanka. With Kalavela and Cittaraja, who were visible in bodily form, the prince enjoyed his good fortune, he who had Yakkhas and Bhόtas for friends. Between the king Pandukabhaya and Abhaya were seventeen years without a king.
    When the ruler of the earth, Pandukabyaha, the intelligent, being thirty-seven years old, had assumed the rule over the kingdom, he reigned full seventy years in fair and wealthy Anuradhapura.

    Notes
    To be fair, Pandukabhaya is obscure enough that he’d probably not have that many Noble Phantasms if he were summoned anywhere outside the Indian subcontinent or its immediate surroundings.
    Still, this was yet another nice chance to go for a Rider with an (admittedly demonic and supernatural) actual horse for a mount.

    Apologies for the lengthy and annoyingly written Lore section, it’s mostly lifted from the Mahavamsa. Though I haven’t a clue as to who the hell transcribed this atrocity, it was the only one readily available. I made quite a few corrections to it, but my lazy ass couldn’t be bothered to rewrite the whole thing.

  12. #16832
    هههههههههههههههههههه Kamera's Avatar
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    Damn what's up with all those new sheets popping up lol


    Anyways, I've got quite too much of a free time, so here are some (questionable, subjective, semi-rant) reviews of the sheets all the way back to my first sheet till my latest which has received little to no reviews:


    Li Shuwen (Santa)
    Indeed, no criticism required. Just the regular Assassin Li Shuwen with Dōngzhμ flavor, simple yet fulfilling, just like the humble Tāngyuαn dish.


    Quite peculiar that there are actually more of the translated Fate's lore on Li Shuwen than his actual history in English language ―\_(ツ)_/―



    Giulia Tofana
    Behind the venomous cutesy shoujo manga heroine vibes lies a terribly tragic story. Kinda reminds me of a similar story about Beatrice Cenci (which no one had done a sheet of, afaik, *hint, hint*). She would get along great with Hassan of Serenity, I'd assume.


    As for the sheet itself, I really love the concept of her having more advantage over the target the longer she is around them; I think in a story she'd be something like Charlotte Corday in LB5, some sort of Trojan Virus, which would perhaps backfire to her own Master later, idk. One thing I'm wondering though, does her Noble Phantasm change her appearance when used? Or is it really supposed to be invincible and does not really give her an actual mahou shoujo transformation?



    Sir Dagonet
    A minus rarity Servant that one would instantly despair upon learning his uselesness. Even so, I think he has great potential for a story, he's the kind of Servant that's just perfect for boost and modification from other Servants (even if he's just a guinea pig), would make an interesting character development. Great sheet, all in all, you managed to turn one of the most unlikely servant candidate into a great character.



    Foreigner Elizabeth Bathory
    I generally dislike Foreigner-class Servants and also personally freaking hate Liz, so I don't have much good opinion on this sheet, sorry. That said, the sheet revolves around some mysterious disembodied voices (even with reference to Agatha Christie's Ten Little [censored]), but overall her abilities doesn't seem to synch that well with each other. I think The Phantom of Opera would be a better match for the other phantom this Liz is fusioned with, even the Noble Phantasm sounds like a copy of his.



    Sigmund Freud
    Not enough Oedipal shenanigans tbh. He'd make a perfect rape/mind-break/drugs/hypnosis hentai dilf protag, Lancer indeed. Personally with someone as notorious as Freud, I'd let my impulses take over and make him more flashy Id Freud, but I guess a perfectly balanced Ego Freud is nice too.



    Hades
    Uhm, how do i put this, I think this sheet needs a major clean-up; the grammar, bloated description, excessive Noble Phantasm, etc. Keping the sheet simple yet tasteful is better than adding unecessarily texts, ESPECIALLY with this kind of grammar. It's honestly quite a chore to read through. The character is the typical depressed fallen noble type, but I guess that's it, nothing remarkable.


    That said, for the sheet itself, for such a big name as Hades, the skills and NPs appears to be somewhat lacking synergy with each other. It would be nice to find one aspect of Hades' legend and focus on building the sheet on that rather than trying to force every random bits in Hades' entire mythology. Some of the Noble Phantasms may have some interesting effects, but it's sadly buried beneath the messy and bloated writing. I think you should just try to pick one or two NPs based on your decided aspect and encapsulate the others in those two as sub-effects, would be much better than trying to list all notable things Hades supposedly has as individual NP. I think it would be a good starting point to reflect on the Ereshkigal sheet.



    Rocambole
    For an supposedly archetype figure, the sheet doesn't seem to even reflect that archetype at all. It suffers the same problem with Koga's sheet; it's awfully inconsistent and lacks synergy. The first personal skill could easily become the NP but for some reason it doesn't, while the actual NP seems to be more useless than Sir Dagonet's. Could be easily replaced with a Memory-something skill. Overall needs lots of improvements.



    Kashima no Kami
    It's kinda hard to imagine such cute girl in a sumo match lol. I like her character, her dynamics with the snek is cute and she herself is such a cool genki girl, ecchi fantasy anime protag vibes. The sheet itself is quite simple and balanced, at least for a literal God of Swords; overall the skillset works wonderfully together. Nothing flashy in the NPs, but I guess it could use some more flashiness, maybe some sort of ultimate attack where she combbined all the swords? idk.



    Ded Moroz
    Damn, she gave me the fall of soviet flashbacks again... She's just... so pitiful and sad... like that snowman you built in winter which melts away when spring comes, like the soviet itself *sigh*. She's definitely the must-protecc type; don't worry, we shall revive the soviet and abolish christmas once and for all--or perhaps make it so that everyday would be christmas, hmmmm.


    Anyway, it's quite a depressing sheet.



    Amaterasu no Mikoto
    Is this the legendary "EX-rank everything" sheet I've heard so much about? The powerlevel is almost as disgustingly blinding as the sun. Well, nothing much to say really, it's just Amaterasu Tamamo with the powerlevel limiter mostly unlocked. Wank aside, it's just...fine.


    Well tbh I personally dislike Tamamo so ―\_(ツ)_/―
    Check out the officialTM Create-a-Servant discord server









    Blindfold your eyes, so that the approaching night may strike no fear in you.
    Let it not burden your soul, nor numb your strides.

  13. #16833
    هههههههههههههههههههه Kamera's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by WhiteFrenzy View Post
    FRIGGIN STALIN: Y E S. I can't help but get amused whenever someone dares to post a sheet of a controversial character like this one. It's always a blast to read the different interpretations; and this one is no different. I was already on the floor with the explanation for that genderbend (GENIUS), but then finding out that Master becomes Comrade for him? Classic. I loved it. His...hers... uhm... The skills are also amazingly fitting, and the Stalingrad noble phantasm is a thing of nightmares. All in all, this was a really nice sheet to read, one that made me amused but at the same time, one to take seriously.
    Thank you! Stalin is quite the figure indeed, the last Caster Stalin by Adlet portrays him as this deranged paranoid schizoid that's no better than Hitler, while ignoring his most important achievements. Well, as bad as Stalin was, he certainly is a far lesser evil than Hitler was. As an actual marxist, I just want a more, uh, balanced take on him.

    Quote Originally Posted by Bugs View Post
    Stalin's Innovation Skill sounds like a nightmare for Avengers.
    Well, most Avengers are certainly the reactionary type, but certain Avengers can be revolutionary too, so not really. After all, some commies just want that sweet revenge on the bourgeois scum ―\_(ツ)_/―.
    Check out the officialTM Create-a-Servant discord server









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  14. #16834
    love warrior <3 world-0 the god of world-0's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kamerad View Post
    Is this the legendary "EX-rank everything" sheet I've heard so much about? The powerlevel is almost as disgustingly blinding as the sun. Well, nothing much to say really, it's just Amaterasu Tamamo with the powerlevel limiter mostly unlocked. Wank aside, it's just...fine.


    Well tbh I personally dislike Tamamo so ―\_(ツ)_/―
    Yeah, Amy is broken... But she is canonicaly broken, so wanking her was my only option. Also, I needed her this way for my Lostbelt. I tried to make her distinct from Tamamo, i guess i didn't do enough.

    Still thanks for the commentary, and the one on Kashima, it is always welcome.


    here is a list of my servant sheets(new and improved format for my servant sheets)

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  15. #16835
    夜魔 Nightmare Glazy's Avatar
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    So I heard that JC may or may not be the First Magic user and although I would love to do wizard Jesus one day. I more interested in the heir of the First Magic user.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



    Q
    The Hidden Apostle

    Servant: Caster/Assassin
    True name: ???
    Attributes:
    Man
    Alignment: Lawful neutral
    Likes: The Lord, other holy people, fellow user of Magic
    Dislike: Demons, rulers, threats to humanity
    ​Armaments: None
    ​Natural enemy : The spider

    Appearance
    Appearance
    An average size man and if you were walking by him you wouldn’t notice anything, But take a second look and you realize he has no face! In fact he has no mass at all. He is like a walking, talking, ghost and due to his personality Q usually spook some people for his amusement.


    Lore
    Lore
    The Q source is a hypothesis made by bible scholars to explain matthew and luke similar text that are only found in those two books. And although a person might exist. It’s not like there...... was a secret student of the Lord himself and that person took the name Q. And it’s a ridiculous thought that this person is a founding member of the Church and was vital to their growth. And it’s ludicrous notion that this person is in contact with other users of Magic and has a plan in motion right now to take down a certain ultimate one. Right?


    Parameters
    STR: E
    END: C
    AGI: C
    MGI: EX
    LCK: B
    NP: C




    Skills
    Class Skills:

    Presence Concealment- B+
    Measures the ability to cut off one's presence as a Heroic Spirit. However, the efficacy of this Skill drops sharply the moment one prepares to attack. Despite not being trained as an assassin in real life. Q being only as remember as a hypothesis gives him a high rank in PC despite not being an assassin. What causes him to erase all his work is unknown. But it’s most likely a tiny step in his plans.

    Item Construction- EX
    The technical skill to produce devices that carry magical power. It makes possible to manufacture various tools, from items and Mystic Codes meant for battle, to daily necessities. However, this Skill takes time for the production and supply of ingredients.
    With the First Magic, Q can basically made anything he desire from A ranked noble phantasms to incredible medicines. And if he really put his thought in to it he can construct structures that have the abilities of entire reality marbles and items that can rival divine constructs…. Which is really ridiculous


    Personal Skills:


    Protection of faith- A+
    Having been a student of the Lord. Q is quite religious but not quite a zealot.

    Source of the Holy Text - B++
    Being the source of two books in the bible and many other holy text. This skill can allow Q to make and use sacraments. These sacraments are top tier and could potentially destroy a servants if they don’t have a high magic resistance.


    Heir to the First Magic _
    The user of the First Magic was none other than the Lord Himself. And when He knew He was going to die. He needed to teach someone his gifts for they are a powerful tool against an ultimate force in the future. So He went and found an heir more importantly He told His heir about His plans.

    Thus saith the Lord “Learned the Magics but do not show them as the pride will consume you. Helped the Church but do it in the shadow as the greed will kill you. And finally assemble the Magicians for they will be your greatest friends.”


    Q is fairly good at the First Magic but his teacher is way better at him.

    “Heh you think I’m good with Magic. I am nothing compared to the Lord.



    Noble Phantasm
    Illusion Hypothesis
    Am I really real? yeah but that doesn't really matter
    Rank: C+
    Anti Unit
    A sort of disengage NP that represents Q existence as only a hypothesis in the eyes of the masses. And when use, Q can just escape as the effect of the NP is that the opponents doubts the existence of Q. A perfect NP for hit and run tactics.



    Personality, Interaction, Tactics
    Personality
    Q, having meet the messiah, is of course a nice humble servant of life itself. Q doesn't really care if you follow the Lord or not. All that matters to him is that you stay kind and don't harm others. Q also has the quirk of trying to be "keep up with the times" when summon. Which has the side effect of him being the sort " awkward trickster"

    "He's like this youth pastor trying to spread his god in the most out of touch way ever"

    - User of the 4th Magic


    Also there's this quirk among the Magicians that all of them are relativity nice when you first meet them. But... if you ever in the way... well let's just say they won't be too nice anymore. And in the case of Q if you put innocent in harms way well.... The nice christian man would go away and the ruthless Magician will come out.


    Interaction


    if you have rulers with you.
    "Hm enjoy your time here, because the true king has yet to return.
    .....But if you interested come by and I'll tell you all about him!"

    if you have Saver with you


    "Z, this isn't funny!... Well it's a little bit"


    if you have kid gil or jack with you.

    "Hey wassup kids you want learn about out cool sick Lord?



    if you have other holy people
    "You know I kinda wish that I was remember like those people but I have a duty that the Lord gave me so it doesn't matter."

    The Lord

    "You know I still think about you.... your kindness, your sadness, your happiness. I wish you were here to see all the friends I made and all the things I learned......
    I really miss you.


    Other user of Magic
    Q is really close to all of them. And as whole they act pretty much like a D&D group. The most craziest and dangerous D&D group ever.


    Tactics

    Q won't appear in a regular holy grail war ever. Since the catalyst of summoning him are only in the hands of other Magic users. Which they use to set up their plans. But if he every were summon in a regular holy grail war it'll depend on who summon him. If it's innocent Q would just make another catalyst to summon another hero

    "Sorry that you had to summon me! I'll just get you a new hero instead.... So do you want Sun Wukong or King Arthur?


    If it's someone with bad morals than Q would just cut of the command seals and just leave.

    "Tch Have fun drowning in your own pride!"





    Notes
    Finally my first servant! Yeah it's kinda strange and OP but Q doesn't really fight in Grail Wars. Ever since the revel that the user of the First Magic might be Jesus. It re spark my interest in Magic maybe I might do the 4th Magic user although It be the Make a magi territory instead of servants(since Q is the only one recorded in the throne of heroes somehow)



    Last edited by Glazy; December 30th, 2019 at 05:58 PM.

  16. #16836
    Trace: Overcringe King of Padoru's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kamerad View Post
    Damn, she gave me the fall of soviet flashbacks again... She's just... so pitiful and sad... like that snowman you built in winter which melts away when spring comes, like the soviet itself *sigh*. She's definitely the must-protecc type; don't worry, we shall revive the soviet and abolish christmas once and for all--or perhaps make it so that everyday would be christmas, hmmmm.


    Anyway, it's quite a depressing sheet.
    I didn't really mean to make her tragic, or at least not so tragic that she would come out as sad instead of funny. My concept idea was "recurring rival whose rivalry isn't acknoweldged by the MC", but I guess I didn't manage to pull it off completely right. Still, I'm glad you liked it.

  17. #16837
    Create History with the light even God doesn't know Der Ritter's Avatar
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    Added some keywords to Rider.

  18. #16838
    死徒(下級)Lesser Dead Apostle Vance's Avatar
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    Faceclaim


    True Name: Irisviel von Einzbern (Myorin)
    Class: Lancer
    Region: Japan
    Alignment: Neutral Good (True Neutral)

    Parameters:
    STR: C
    END: C
    AGI: C
    MAG: B (E)
    LCK: D
    NP: C

    Class Skills:

    Magic Resistance C (E):
    Originally Lancer has no experience with magecraft of any sort however due to the current vessel being used, the rank was bumped up to C.

    Personal Skills:

    Subversive Activities D+ (A):
    Pitfalls, walltraps, anything was used by Lancer to repel all enemies who came for her. It was a successful venture too since she managed to defend against them for 16 different battles, normally resulting in A rank. However, the vessel being used has a natural kind hearted disposition towards others though when pushed, she will harden her heart and will not be afraid to bring others to ruin, resulting in a + being added.

    Charisma C+:
    The ability to lead and inspire others. Lancer managed to convince and lead the surrounding peasantry and maid to gear up and follow her into battle, seemingly without much question or resistance on their part. The type of vessel used doesn't have any correlation on the rank of this skill.

    Connection to the Root N/A (C):
    The mark of a wish granting machine. With this skill, parameters become meaningless. The vessel's conscience was merged with the holy grail in the effort of granting a singular wish. However this is a skill that cannot be freely used due to it also strengthening the presence of another. As such, it is currently sealed.

    Child of Nature B:
    A skill to represent a child born in the reverse side of the world. The blessings given by the world have degraded somewhat with the addition of a human element into the Saint Graph but that won't matter in the long run.

    Noble Phantasms:

    Defense of Tsurusaki [Defense Against The Army Of 3000] C:
    A noble phantasm that reproduces the defense of Tsurusaki castle made by Lancer in 1586 in the form a separate space similar to a reality marble, a space that Lancer can exit at any time. The castle itself exists not as a defense but as support through the act of sustaining Lancer's existence in the world as long as she manages to successfully defend it. Lancer has free reign of how the offenses and defenses are set up and will unhesitatingly make full use of her Subversive Activities skill, bring it to A rank once more. However Lancer herself is hesitant to use this noble phantasm from the risks of activating the second noble phantasm.

    Unlimited Raise Dead [Infinite Ruin] EX:
    A noble phantasm that doesn't actually belong to Lancer but to the one that followed her. It correlates to the real noble phantasm of Lancer by activating a four day loop in which countless shadelike beings are produced, leading up to a maximum of 3000 shades. These shades are near impossible for any baseline humans to defeat but only exist within the space of the first noble phantasm unless certain conditions are met. Over the course of the loops, these shades will unerringly attack Tsurusaki castle or attempt to kill Lancer, usually the former. The attacks will occur a number of 16 times where each increase in intensity. However, should Lancer use a certain skill more and more, the strength of the shades will increase due to a certain presence growing stronger. Should the castle fall, the shades will be free to come to the human world.

    Bio:
    The name of Lancer's Heroic Spirit is Yoshioka Myorin ni, or Myorin, an onna bugeisha who heroically defended Tsurusaki Castle against the attacks of Shimazu Iehisa's army during the Kyushu Campaign. Taking control of the administrative affairs due to the death of her husband and youth of her ten year old son, she, in fact, proved to be highly capable in the peacetime administration of the castle, but the course of her life had completely changed. During the Kyushu Campaign of Toyotomi Hideyoshi, an army prepared a siege on Tsurusaki castle.

    In response, Myorin gather peasants, farmers, and maid to act as an army for the castle due to a limited amount of soldiers and dug out moats, made pitfalls hidden under the grass, and made wall traps. After rejecting negotiations, she was able to defend the castle for sixteen battles before being defeated. Afterwards, she still planned to take back the castle and finally ambushed the army from behind after gaining their trust. Rejecting Toyotomi's proposal for service, she lived the rest of her days with the Otomo clan before disappearing when the clan lost its territories to Tokugawa Leyasu.

    The identity of the vessel is Irisviel von Einzbern, the lesser grail of the Fourth Heaven's Feel.

    Personality:
    The personality is split between Lancer and Irisviel at an 80:20 ratio favoring Irisviel. This is due to the fact that Lancer is very neutral towards any affairs that doesn't pertain to her clan and due to being sympathetic with the desperate wishes of a woman who wants to be with her family again.

    Author's Notes: Here's an Irisviel. Also Thank You Kamerad for the opinions.
    Last edited by Vance; December 30th, 2019 at 08:58 PM.

  19. #16839
    Darkened Misty Metropolis Lambda-Nu's Avatar
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    So I decided that I wanted to redo one of my messier (but not to the point of embarrassment) sheets.


    Class: Avenger
    True Name: Mahatma Nuclear Gandhi
    Alternate Classes: Ruler
    Gender: Male
    Alignment: Lawful Good/Chaotic Nuclear

    Strength: D
    Endurance: D
    Agility: E
    Mana: EX
    Luck: EX
    Noble Phantasm: EX

    Class Skills
    Avenger EX
    Class Skill of the Avenger class, representing the state of an Avenger as one that gathers people's hatreds and grudges onto oneself. It is easier for one to accumulate hatred and resentment. The rate of mana generation becomes higher when receiving damage.

    Whoever wrongs Avenger will find themselves being nuked into oblivion in retaliation.

    Memory Correction EX
    A Class Skill of the Avenger class. People are creatures that forget many things, but an Avenger never forgets. The critical effect of Avengers who attack from beyond one's memory is strengthened.

    Unlike his normal counterpart, Avenger never forgets a slight against him until the one responsible has been nuked off the face of the Earth. Then he forgets them.

    Self-Replenishment (Mana) A
    A Class Skill of the Avenger class. One's magical energy endlessly surges until their revenge is accomplished. Recovers a minuscule amount of magical energy every turn.

    As long as something that has wronged Avenger still lives, he will not rest until they have been obliterated by a nuclear explosion.

    Item Construction EX
    A Caster-class Skill. It is the Skill to manufacture magical items, from implements of war to items for daily use. Also, this Skill requires time to gather components and manufacture items.

    Avenger is capable of creating nuclear weapons in almost no time at all. This is a very bad thing due to how terrible Avenger's temper is.

    Personal Skills
    Pioneer of the Stars EXThe unique Skill given to heroes that became turning points in human history. All difficult voyages and challenges which are considered "impossible" turn into "events that can be realized".

    As the very first precedent of a successful non-violent revolution in recorded history, his name became a mark in human history as a proof that is possible to change the world (society) by means of something other than strength of arms.

    Charisma A
    A composite Skill consisting of a person's charm as well as the natural talent to command or unify an army or country. Increases the ability of allies during group battles. A rare talent, and an ability inherent to Servants of the Saver class.

    Can be said to have achieved the greatest level of popularity as a human being. In his case, other than the leadership necessary for building a nation, this Skill also denotes the eloquence and advocacy techniques refined during his time as a lawyer.

    Innocent Monster EX
    An attribute possessed by Servants whose true history and existence have been distorted by the monstrous reputations and gossips they accrued across the course of their life and thereafter, without concern for the actual person's will or appearance. As a consequence, the Servant's abilities and appearance have been rendered to conform to the specifications of their legend. Incidentally, this Personal Skill cannot be removed.

    The true Mahatma Gandhi was a man who became a symbol peace. However, a certain bug in a certain game featuring various historical figures caused its version of Gandhi to become hyper-aggressive and obsessed with nuclear warmongering, in stark contrast to his real-life counterpart.

    Contradictory Mind A
    A Skill denoting a person who possesses a mentality that regularly contradicts itself.

    Under normal circumstances, Gandhi would not possess this Skill. However, the presence of his Innocent Monster Skill allows him to anyway. While Gandhi does typically behave in the pacifistic manner that most would normally expect him to, whenever something provokes him, he will immediately resolve to nuke it. This causes his alignment to be split into two separate kinds.

    Noble Phantasms
    The Big Red Button
    Our Words Are Backed With NUCLEAR WEAPONS

    Rank: EX

    Type: Anti-World
    Range: 1~100
    Maximum Number of Targets: 1000
    Avenger's ultimate nuclear missile. It is capable of causing an extreme amount of damage to the area it is unleashed in. However, it takes a large amount of resources to create. This is fortunate for Avenger's opponents because it gives them a good window of opportunity to kill him before The Big Red Button is complete. Otherwise, he very well might just end the Grail War in one fell swoop and a horrific amount of collateral damage. In addition, unleashing this Noble Phantasm may very well spark a nuclear war between countries.

    Lore:
    Mohandas Ghandi was an Indian activist and the leader of the Indian independence movement against British rule. The honorific 'Mahatma' ('high-souled'/'venerable') was first applied to him in 1914 in South Africa and now used worldwide. In India, he is known as the Father of the Nation and a symbol of peace to its people.

    However, one day a certain game came along and accidentally ended up damaging Gandhi's image. Said game featured a variety of different historical figures, with Gandhi among them, and the goal was to create a civilization that stands the test of time. However, a glitch occurs when Gandhi attempts to select democracy as his form of government, which he is naturally inclined to do. Democracy decreases a civilization leader's aggression by two, but Gandhi by default has an aggression rating of 1. When the system attempts to lower Gandhi's aggression, it underflows from 0 to 255 out of 10.

    And then when the Atomic Age comes, Gandhi gains an obsession with nuclear warmongering and any civilization that angers him in the slightest will most certainly get nuked. The fans of the game were so amused with the results of this glitch that the creators carried Gandhi's nuclear warmongering was carried over into future installments.

    However, because these behaviors were never possessed by the real Gandhi, Nuclear Gandhi is technically a false Gandhi and possesses Innocent Monster EX.


    Personality:
    Gandhi’s typical behavior follows the beliefs of his real-life counterpart. He is a pacifist (or so he appears to be). He will try to avoid violence at all costs and do whatever he can to ensure that the situation can be resolved peacefully and without bloodshed. Just as he did in life, he will advocate for peace, equality, and unity.

    However, this behavior hides a taint caused by his Innocent Monster Skill; an obsession with nuclear warmongering. Because of the influence of this Skill, Gandhi loves nuclear weapons. If somebody manages to provoke him enough and back him into a corner, he will respond with nukes. But even if somebody is not provoking him or backing him up against the proverbial wall, he will still prepare nukes in anticipation of a worst case scenario.

    “There is no shame in deterrence. Having a weapon is very different from actually using it,” he says.

    This obsession with nuclear weaponry makes him so dangerous that the Throne of Heroes itself will actively attempt to prevent any Master from summoning Gandhi.

    Last edited by Lambda-Nu; December 30th, 2019 at 11:13 PM.
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  20. #16840
    Not a day over sixty and with the eyes of a cornered ferret. WhiteFrenzy's Avatar
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    I apologize if my iddle thoughts are not enough, but at least I promise to try to offer my opinion on all sheets that appear in this thread... Anyway, this time we had a sudden burst of activity and that's a good thing!





    Pestur: I LOVED EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS SHEET. Loved the idea, loved the execution. I don't know if it was your intention or not, but the skills are so common, so average (in the sense that they look like something out of a 1st generation FGO servant), that they work exactly like they were supposed to in this average servant. That 3rd skill is so cruel! I loved it hahahah. Anyway, it was such a fun sheet to read-- and a character I wasn't expecting, it made everything much amusing.


    Egil: Whoa, you've pulled no punches with this sheet, man. It was a ride. I was thoroughly engrossed on it, and the skills and noble phantasms were very cool; I tried to picture them and the mental image was sick. That small detail about the Sami people and how they were percepted differently from the others was such a nice touch-- I really liked what you did with that in your sheet, the way you've incorporated it in his giant herritage. Very creative Servant here!


    Pandukabhaya: It might come from a place of "laziness", or perhaps I just dislike heroes with too many NPs when they aren't exactly super well known... ANYWAY, I feel like at least one of those NPs could've become a skill and we wouldn't lose anything in this sheet, you know? Also, the lore section. Jesus Christ, what a ride that was... Good thing I'm a patient person and I wanted to understand the character, but I am sure that there's people around here that will absolutely skip this part. Other than that, it was such a fun entry to read! I liked very much of the abilities you've picked for this Servant, it's very war-oriented. The personality is also the sort of one I love to see in warriors-- dutiful and respectful, a sort of knight-ish twist on them instead of the warmonger variant. All in all, it was still a nice read and I enjoyed him a lot.


    Q: First of all, welcome! I hope you can share more sheets with us, because this one was rather nice to read! A "character" I wasn't expected and a nice presentation, what else can we ask? He is, indeed, as you've described, very OP but I suppose we can forgive that on grounds that it isn't supposed to be a character you find in a traditional HGW.


    Yoshioka Myorin: I can see that you've had an idea and the execution was almost there. It... Lacked something, but I think you're on the right track. I liked the link between this heroic spirit who did everything for her husband, because this is indeed the most blatant trait of our Iri. Her skills compliment nicely the idea of a samurai warrior; nothing noteworthy, sure, but also definitely not a failure. Keep this going!
    Last edited by WhiteFrenzy; December 30th, 2019 at 11:14 PM.
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