Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Results 21 to 32 of 32

Thread: Strings [Kara no Kyoukai]

  1. #21
    Put your emptiness to melody, your awful heart to song. Prix with a Silent X's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Location
    https://prixsilentx.carrd.co/
    Age
    30
    Posts
    1,459
    Blog Entries
    11
    Sorry for the teaser bump, but after considering feedback from multiple sources, I made some concessions and some edits to my previous chapter. I do not feel that the circumstance nor the character I wrote is irreconcilable with being a valid interpretation of the character we know as Aozaki Touko's younger self, but I realized that my own sensibilities may have bled into the prose text more than I meant for it to. I have chosen to take a more objective route in some cases, though not all, and I have striven to make Glasses!Touko and No-Glasses!Touko feel a bit more distinct.

    Still working on another update, but if anyone is interested in this fic, giving the new text a gander might be helpful or pleasing. And remember not to say anything if you have nothing nice to say. That said, commentary or even constructive feedback is very welcome. It's just that I don't understand the need to treat published fanfic as though you're a SPAG beta alone. Just... if you want fanfic, like... be a little nice. Mindfully so.
    Imagine that the world is made out of love. Now imagine that it isn’t.

    Imagine a story where everything goes wrong, where everyone has their back against the wall, where everyone is in pain and acting selfishly because if they don’t, they’ll die.
    Imagine a story, not of good against evil, but of need against need against need, where everyone is at cross-purposes and everyone is to blame.



    Blog of Fiction for You to Consume
    Other Links


    Spoiler:
    Quote Originally Posted by Snow View Post
    Let Sakura say fuck and eat junkfood you weirdos.


  2. #22
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six SpoonyViking's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2015
    Location
    Rio de Janeiro, RJ - Brasil
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    7,894
    Hmmm... I'm sorry, Prix, but I'm not sure I can see the differences. Would you mind terribly expounding on it a bit?

  3. #23
    Put your emptiness to melody, your awful heart to song. Prix with a Silent X's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Location
    https://prixsilentx.carrd.co/
    Age
    30
    Posts
    1,459
    Blog Entries
    11
    Quote Originally Posted by SpoonyViking View Post
    Hmmm... I'm sorry, Prix, but I'm not sure I can see the differences. Would you mind terribly expounding on it a bit?

    I just changed some of the prose, mostly, to try and reflect glasses!Touko as being involved in the performance of humanity while internally she is much more calculating and cold, as opposed to no-glasses!Touko which is the opposite. This largely involved making some of it more objective rather than thoughtful.
    Imagine that the world is made out of love. Now imagine that it isn’t.

    Imagine a story where everything goes wrong, where everyone has their back against the wall, where everyone is in pain and acting selfishly because if they don’t, they’ll die.
    Imagine a story, not of good against evil, but of need against need against need, where everyone is at cross-purposes and everyone is to blame.



    Blog of Fiction for You to Consume
    Other Links


    Spoiler:
    Quote Originally Posted by Snow View Post
    Let Sakura say fuck and eat junkfood you weirdos.


  4. #24
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six SpoonyViking's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2015
    Location
    Rio de Janeiro, RJ - Brasil
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    7,894
    Ah, I see! Well, it does read as objective, and the prose is still a delight to read, so goal achieved! :-)

  5. #25
    Put your emptiness to melody, your awful heart to song. Prix with a Silent X's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Location
    https://prixsilentx.carrd.co/
    Age
    30
    Posts
    1,459
    Blog Entries
    11
    V. Quid Pro Quo

    
    The rain falls from the London sky in the way that it often does. It is falling in great drops that tend to ruin a person's hopes of getting anywhere without being soaked through.


    Touko had not brought an umbrella when leaving her flat this morning. She pushes open one of a pair of wooden doors that leads out onto stone steps. She looks up at the sky, its nondescript gray that seems both thin and impenetrable.


    Traffic passes by on the street several meters ahead. People trudge past, most in a hurry and taking shelter beneath proper umbrellas or make-do substitutes: coat sleeves, newspapers. None of the passersby seemed to notice her.


    So far, the only thing keeping her from getting wet is the protection of a stone arch that rises up from the steps and meets the rest of the building's weathered architecture. Shrugging her bag up onto her shoulder, she reaches out and touches her fingertips to the stone. It has a fine grit to it.


    A few other magi emerge from the building and walk past her. An already-used umbrella opens up in the face of the rain and splashes a few drops in her direction. She feels herself frown, but to no end. The air itself is so cold and damp that even if the rain stopped, the clouds parted, and the sun shone at this very instant, one would have little hope of the wet chill not permeating their clothes.


    Touko looks down for a moment, navigating her way to the first step and out from under the protection of the arch. Her Mary Jane shoe touches down and the other follows. A thick drop of rain splashes against the crown of her head. Her nostrils flare, but only to take a deep breath of the cold, humid air.


    She grips the strap of her bag and lifts her chin only a little to navigate her way through the rest of the pedestrians. An old woman looks up into her face and her eyes light up a little.


    "Oh, I'm sorry, dear. I did not see you there!" she says. Much more courteous than the average Londoner walking through the rain. The reaction also isn't a surprising one; it's one that any person who has ever been inside a bounded field becomes quite accustomed to. That is, if one ever wanders outside its boundary.


    The old woman appears a bit shrunken with age, but she can still manage to stand up mostly-straight. The sight of the wrinkles near her eyes makes Touko's own squint. She feels herself bow slightly. She adds a nod, body catching up to where she is. The look of age on the woman's face is nothing extraordinary, but it is the kind that reminds her of the face she had grown up seeing every day — perhaps the only face she could rely on seeing every day — for most of her life.


    "Are you alright?" the woman inquires. Touko realizes that she has taken on an overly rigid, straight stance, her arms tight at her sides, one protecting her bag. Rain drops keep falling on top of her head, and she knows she ought to keep moving.


    Touko smiles and then gives an appropriate series of shaking her head and nodding it in turn that seems to give the woman some reassurance that she isn't crazy.


    Even if it hasn't, Touko finally starts walking down the sidewalk.


    She travels down the street and around the corner. Sometimes she rubs shoulders with a stranger, her orange coat dragging a bit against the slicker and more impermeable fabrics that most people have chosen to wear. Had Touko been inclined to turn on the television back at her flat this morning, maybe she would have thought to bring an umbrella.


    As it is, there is nothing she can do about the rain. Her chin slightly lowered and her eyes fixed forward, blinking away the raindrops that make it past her glasses, she trudges on until she finds the correct location and squints a bit more to find the right place to step through.

    It is quieter when she passes through the bounded field. She hears the rain a little more clearly over the sounds of traffic and complaints from ordinary Londoners. She approaches the building which houses Kischur, the Department of Mineralogy, with its garden before it.

    The path is well-kept at its edges but has grown muddy in the rain, made from smooth river stones pressed into the ground to form a series of stepping stones that would feel more like smooth pavement, were it not raining. As resigned to the mud's effect on her shoes as the raindrops' effect on her clothes, Touko keeps her footfalls light but steady as she approaches yet another archway, this one more rounded and constructed of a pinkish brick. High above her, a copper roof has turned mint-green.


    Safe from the rain when she reaches the copper-plated door. It is embossed with decorations that she notices but doesn't define. Touko reaches for the handle and hears its metallic squeak. The ceilings are high in this place, but she almost immediately finds herself looking at more weathered pink brick. It feels as if the floor-plan ought to have opened up, but instead there is only the choice of going right or left. A shiver runs up her spine.


    Her coat is soaked through, and she can feel it seeping through to her shirt.


    Her fingers reach up to the ends of her dripping hair. She grips it a little, wringing it out and then combing through it as best she can. She sees no mirror in the entryway as she considers which direction to turn first. She needs to find someone who might part with the appropriate stones to the tune of the right price or favor.





    Touko feels herself drawn deeper into the labyrinth as she finds that her first turn is to a dead end with the door only to a supply closet a person could find anywhere. Strangely, she feels the sense that someone is following her, but she doesn't hear or see anyone when she looks. There are squeaks of boards and doors, but none close enough to explain the sensation that tickles something instinctive inside her.


    Only vaguely irritated by it, finding no reason to believe it a threat, Touko continues on her way to find someone's workshop or lab. The semantics are a matter of a magus's personal taste.


    Finally, she lays eyes on two people occupying a room, together but not saying a word to each other. They are sitting on opposite sides of a long work-station which resembles something one might find in any modern laboratory, but there is something about the white and steel sterility of it all that gives off the impression of being retrofitted into something much older.


    "Excuse me," she asks softly, her hand bracing on the door frame where she stands without apology. When the person at the far end of the room but facing the door looks up and sets aside their magnifying glass, Touko's lips form into a smile and she blinks behind her glasses lenses. There are a few specks of rainwater that cling to the material.


    "Can I help you?" the woman asks, standing from her stool. She straightens out a long cardigan that creates a silhouette much older than its construction.


    Touko rolls her shoulders back, straightening her posture even more neatly.


    Magi are secretive, even when the nature of the Clock Tower is a certain degree of shared support and resources, even if the thought of sharing personal research is quite close to forbidden.


    "Ah, yes," Touko agrees, committing to her soft smile a bit more. "I have come here from Valuay. I need to buy some agate."


    "Agate," the woman repeats. She looks Touko up and down, seeming unimpressed with the state of her clothing. Touko isn't impressed with it either, but she brings her bag around in front of her to hold its shortest handle with both her hands. She keeps smiling, refusing to be insulted by some Barthomeloi heiress.


    "Yes. Agate," she replies with a quick nod.


    "Do you know what kind of agate you would like?" the woman asks. She looks at the other person, a man, who has not even looked up from his research. There is nothing like shared disdain for another magus to bring magi under an umbrella of camaraderie.


    "That is precisely why I have come to the Department of Mineralogy for your expertise," Touko says. She steps past the threshold to use the end of their work-station. She hoists her bag up and undoes its snaps.


    The contents are perfectly dry.


    She rubs her lips together absently as she gently files through the loose pieces of paper that lay atop everything else.


    The man has finally started looking at her. He seems to be ready to wrap his arms around everything sprawled before him, like an elementary school child fearful that someone will so easily steal his glory by peaking over his shoulder during a test.


    "Oh, how cute!" Touko takes a moment to exclaim. She points to a shiny bit of amethyst she spots before him on top of a neatly spread, fine white handkerchief.


    The man knocks her hand away with a broad gesture that probably endangers his specimen far more than anything she might have done by poking it.


    Touko turns back to the woman and side-steps toward her a little, too. She can feel the bristle.


    "Yes, I could go to one of the many new-age shops springing up around in SoHo, but I do not want just any agate. I want five specimens with different, traceable sources. I thought Kischur might be the perfect place to come to someone with the right connections to get the stones for me."


    She checks the other woman's eyes. They are still giving themselves worry lines, narrow in their focus and sour at once. She watches as the woman seeks across the work-station. Are these two people friends? Whatever that word might mean here.


    "Samuel, do you know anyone looking for some cheap paid work?" the woman asks.


    "Not me," Samuel replies. He turns his attention back to his tiny piece of amethyst as if it is the center of the universe. Touko watches his face, his focus, for a moment.


    "Perhaps you should check—" the female mineralogy student is suggesting when the door creaks on its hinges behind Touko. It is a sepulchral sound, and Touko turns her head to see if it might accompany someone more willing to earn money or a favor than to continue to play this game.


    No one is in the doorway, only there is a presence, empty and hollow and tugging at any person's stomach that might observe its gnawing lack. A concentrated burst of air flies over Touko's shoulder and in the direction of 'Samuel,' who cries out with disgust as the sourceless wind catches the corner of the handkerchief and blows the tiny fragment of amethyst to the floor.


    A person might think its action malicious if they knew quite what it was.


    Samuel ducks down in a desperate scramble to find his particular piece of gemstone, swearing under his breath.


    Touko hears soft footfalls approaching from down the hall. They are smooth but not silent, leading with the hard click of the heel of a man's dress shoe. She looks back over her shoulder and leans a bit. She takes a few steps backward until her fingers can reach to brace on the door frame once more. She leans back to let her gaze work its way past the frame of her glasses.


    A man approaches, his dark, shiny shoes and tailored black dress pants cut short by the length of a navy blue coat which drapes over anything else he might be wearing like a uniform. It is well-embroidered with a few darker, decorative seams, and it flares a bit at the bottom. While it is obvious that this man wears only the finest money might buy him, the coat does not fit quite as well as it could.
    Perhaps it has seen use by another, tailored to suit the present Lord El-Melloi only when he had come into that position.


    Touko recognizes him as the man she had spoken to once at one of the local pubs, weeks ago.


    Her gaze tracks upward until she finds his pale face and blond, slicked-back hair. It looks a bit wet even when it's not raining. As a matter of fact, his clothes look quite dry. Touko loses interest and picks up some of her hair from her shoulder, squeezing it in her hand to see whether or not it has stopped dripping at the slightest provocation.


    "Miss Aozaki!" she hears a voice. Of course, it is Lord El-Melloi's voice. The only thing that gives her shoulders cause to jump a little is its volume. She looks back at him, more directly this time, just as he is about to step through the doorway, whether she moves out of the way or not.


    She is backed into the room by a few paces with his entrance. He has come upon her, quite close, and his gaze fixes on her eyes the second he is in a position to allow it.


    "Lord—" the woman behind Touko says. He does not seem to hear her.


    Samuel has gone a bit quiet in his search for the tiny piece of gemstone.


    "I had hoped to see you again," Lord Kayneth El-Melloi Archibald says to Touko. "I see that you have made good on your word."


    "My word?" Touko asks him, her voice light and innocent. He is quite sure he leaves an impression.


    Kayneth's smile shows his teeth, straight and white.


    "I see you have pried yourself away from your work studying runes to grace my department with your presence," he says, speaking of the Department of Mineralogy as his possession, his right.


    "I was hoping to enlist your department's help, actually," Touko says, tilting her head. Her eyes flit up and down along Kayneth's coat — his uniform of authority — seeing an opportunity to bypass the social politics of the aristocrats if she has this aristocrat's attention. She blinks her eyes and flits them up to meet his.


    "My help?" he asks, proud, curious, and perhaps with a hint of correction in it.


    "Yes. I need some varied samples of agate with traceable sources. Better than the quality I would find in a New Age shop," Touko reports breezily.


    Kayneth steps past her, heedless of the two students in his department.


    "Ah," he acknowledges, but he seems more intent on moving his hand between her shoulder blades. She can tell that his palm is flat and gentle even though it does not quite touch her, communicating through static energy and warmth more than touch.


    As any proper young lady might, Touko steps forward, away from the near-contact. This seems to have the desired effect, as Kayneth walks in step with her, guiding her out of the room with the simple ghost of a touch.


    Touko's eyes flit around, taking it in as they step back out into the hall. She scrunches her nose a bit to adjust her glasses before taking a greater step to create enough space to turn to face him.


    "So, you'll help me?" she asks.


    Kayneth stares into her eyes for a moment. His face is somewhat less attractive as he seems dumbfounded that she will not allow him to lead the dance any longer than that. He finds his center again.


    "Of course," he says. His hand is still lifted into the air, fingers curling in where he had nearly touched her back. His eyes close for a moment, and he reaches for his own chest, dusting off the coat. The friction makes a distinct sound. "But, I wonder if you will do me a favor. Rather, an honor?"


    Touko blinks several times at the question. Her focus settles back on his eyes. They are a bright green color.


    "Is this favor in exchange for the one you'll do for me?" she asks. That seems plain enough. The expression he is making at her has a kind of manufactured warmth in it. It only broadens, adding to its heat, as he grins.


    "Well..." he says, dragging it out, "if you want it to be..."


    Touko lowers her gaze, her own expression revealing nothing. Her tone remains light, cheerful enough. Almost innocent.


    "What kind of favor?"


    There is a silence long enough to draw her gaze back up. He seems to have been waiting for it. He steps a bit to one side of the hallway. His shoulder rests against the wall, giving him a more casual stance, an almost fixed shrug.


    "I would like for you to have dinner with me," he says. His grin softens and his face relaxes a bit. He appears already to have won this coin-toss in his own mind.


    The hallway is cold. Touko feels goosebumps form on her skin beneath the sleeves of her coat. It feels as though something — there but not there — entwines itself through the strands of her hair, pushing to the nape of her neck and sliding across her skin. When she focuses on Kayneth once more, te strange feeling subsides.


    "Dinner," she repeats, affecting some naivete. "That's all?"


    "Well," he huffs, feigning modesty. He pushes himself off the wall and folds his arms for a moment instead. "I believe we might have a... number of things to discuss."


    Touko draws a deep breath. She looks down at her shoes. She considers the way she is still cold, still wet, and that she had not done anything to stop the rain from falling on her clothes and skin. She takes a small step toward Kayneth, making herself almost in reach when she looks up at him.


    His lips part, and for the space of a breath, he does not offer to say anything.


    "Like the samples of agate I would like to see?" she asks.


    "That, and other things," he agrees in a hushed tone that still rumbles in his throat. He grins down at her and unfolds his arms.
    Touko thinks she senses a twitch of his wrists, as if he might be thinking of doing something else.


    "Where would you like to meet?" she asks in the same tone she has used for most of this conversation. She rises to her tiptoes and lowers herself down to the flats of her shoes again, stretching and indicating — perhaps — anticipation.


    "I would like to speak with you in private," he says. "I thought you could taste the exquisite meals one can have within my own home here in London."


    His intentions are plain enough. Touko thumbs at the strap over her shoulder. She searches herself for some reaction to the suggestion — one of interest, one of revulsion, one of anger at his presumptuousness. She finds none but the easy, soft shape of a smile. She nods in a way that manages to not quite turn into a curtsy.


    "If you'd like to have me," she says.


    There is something in his eyes, a cool silver through the kindled warmth in them. Recognition, satisfaction?


    "May I count on seeing you tomorrow night, then? Around seven o'clock," he suggests. His tone is stranger now, for the topic. It sounds as if he is planning military strategy instead of a date.


    Touko doesn't mind. It is a means to an end, and she might derive some pleasure from the food, no matter how cliche it all seems to be. How many times has he done this before?


    Touko nods, her gaze fixing forward and finding it about the level of his upper chest.


    "What's the address?" she asks.


    "I'll send someone for you," he says.


    She moves almost automatically to turn around and take her leave.


    He doesn't stop her, but before she rounds the corner to find her way out of Kischur, she glances back over her shoulder. Her hair falls off the back.


    "Why are you interested in me?" she asks, plainly but in a soft voice that disguises some of the impropriety.


    "Six generations," Kayneth replies. He has done his homework. "And I think you are quite lovely to look at."


    Touko stares back at him. He is the shape of a handsome man of this country, even if he looks like a child wearing a father's clothes in his uniform coat. The only further acknowledgement she gives is a blink that files it all away. He is honest, at least — transparent. She can attribute to him that quality, anyway.
    Last edited by Prix with a Silent X; April 13th, 2021 at 01:28 AM.
    Imagine that the world is made out of love. Now imagine that it isn’t.

    Imagine a story where everything goes wrong, where everyone has their back against the wall, where everyone is in pain and acting selfishly because if they don’t, they’ll die.
    Imagine a story, not of good against evil, but of need against need against need, where everyone is at cross-purposes and everyone is to blame.



    Blog of Fiction for You to Consume
    Other Links


    Spoiler:
    Quote Originally Posted by Snow View Post
    Let Sakura say fuck and eat junkfood you weirdos.


  6. #26
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six SpoonyViking's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2015
    Location
    Rio de Janeiro, RJ - Brasil
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    7,894
    "If you'd like to have me," she says."
    Oh, I like the wordplay here! I'll be honest, I did not expect Kayneth to appear in this fic, but this is an interesting development!
    May I ask some things, though, Prix?

    "My word?" Touko asks him, her voice light and innocent. He is quite sure he leaves an impression.

    Kayneth's smile shows his teeth, straight and white.
    Should the "He is quite [...]" part be in the next paragraph, perhaps?

    The expression he is making at her has a kind of manufactured warmth in it. It only broadens, adding to its ***eat***, as he grins.
    I'm guessing there should have been another word there instead of "eat"?
    Last edited by SpoonyViking; April 10th, 2021 at 06:28 PM.

  7. #27
    Put your emptiness to melody, your awful heart to song. Prix with a Silent X's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Location
    https://prixsilentx.carrd.co/
    Age
    30
    Posts
    1,459
    Blog Entries
    11
    First question: No, because it is an observation she is making it does not have to be.

    And yeah, "heat." Key stickage, I guess.
    Imagine that the world is made out of love. Now imagine that it isn’t.

    Imagine a story where everything goes wrong, where everyone has their back against the wall, where everyone is in pain and acting selfishly because if they don’t, they’ll die.
    Imagine a story, not of good against evil, but of need against need against need, where everyone is at cross-purposes and everyone is to blame.



    Blog of Fiction for You to Consume
    Other Links


    Spoiler:
    Quote Originally Posted by Snow View Post
    Let Sakura say fuck and eat junkfood you weirdos.


  8. #28
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six SpoonyViking's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2015
    Location
    Rio de Janeiro, RJ - Brasil
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    7,894
    Ah, OK, she's referring to him assuming she'd immediately remember him from when they met at the pub! OK, I see.

  9. #29
    屍鬼 Ghoul
    Join Date
    Mar 2018
    Location
    The place with the thing
    Age
    29
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    33
    I deeply enjoy your prose! On a purely technical level, reading this gives me dopamine. The only (minor) detractor is your use of past participle verbs for past-tense events given that present-tense events are written in the present tense.

    I also like the story. I enjoy Touko's automatic (as in, automaton) analysis of subtexts and social cues and body language, etc. As someone who often misses stuff like that, especially when it's not blatant, I relate in a way to her position as someone outside it, if not to her ability to read it.

  10. #30
    Put your emptiness to melody, your awful heart to song. Prix with a Silent X's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Location
    https://prixsilentx.carrd.co/
    Age
    30
    Posts
    1,459
    Blog Entries
    11
    Quote Originally Posted by Pastykake View Post
    I deeply enjoy your prose! On a purely technical level, reading this gives me dopamine. The only (minor) detractor is your use of past participle verbs for past-tense events given that present-tense events are written in the present tense.
    Thank you for taking the time to comment. It means a lot, especially when the subject matter is for a relatively more niche part of the fandom.

    I've had that past participle thing pointed out to me before, and I have actually tried to do it less, but I guess it happens because it's a reflexive kind of clarification that I did not just forget and slip back into the more common past tense prose. Also, on a grammatical level, I think you're talking about past perfect, which means to expresses that something in the past is complete or like a complete unit within the past. Past participle just describes that it's like an adjective form of the verb or at least can be used that way like "lost book" or whatever.

    Basically, I just think one needs to accept that English is nonsense and because present tense prose is fairly non-standard in English it can feel a bit uncharted, in my opinion, but I prefer it for fic writing. I'm still working on it, but I have taught grammar more than most people and this particular issue dizzies me a bit.

    I also like the story. I enjoy Touko's automatic (as in, automaton) analysis of subtexts and social cues and body language, etc. As someone who often misses stuff like that, especially when it's not blatant, I relate in a way to her position as someone outside it, if not to her ability to read it.
    That is actually something Touko is supposed to be kind of 'known for,' I think. Her ability to see through things and especially People. User You and I were talking about this not too long ago with relation to a character in their Fate/Mythologie fic and another character having that kind of social-analysis ability. For Touko, at this point, I think it is more a way of navigating through things in a rather detached way because at this point she has recently been through something that has made her kind of delineate her personality between emotional and non-emotional, caring and learning to be more ruthless. Glasses Touko versus no-glasses Touko, y'know.

    Again, thank you for your kindness in leaving a comment, especially one that comments on the story itself and not mechanics alone. I really appreciate the compliment, and I hope my argument about the tense issue doesn't come across as arrogant.
    Imagine that the world is made out of love. Now imagine that it isn’t.

    Imagine a story where everything goes wrong, where everyone has their back against the wall, where everyone is in pain and acting selfishly because if they don’t, they’ll die.
    Imagine a story, not of good against evil, but of need against need against need, where everyone is at cross-purposes and everyone is to blame.



    Blog of Fiction for You to Consume
    Other Links


    Spoiler:
    Quote Originally Posted by Snow View Post
    Let Sakura say fuck and eat junkfood you weirdos.


  11. #31
    屍鬼 Ghoul
    Join Date
    Mar 2018
    Location
    The place with the thing
    Age
    29
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    33
    Quote Originally Posted by Prix with a Silent X View Post
    Thank you for taking the time to comment. It means a lot, especially when the subject matter is for a relatively more niche part of the fandom.
    You're welcome. Admittedly, I watched the KnK anime once years ago and enjoyed it, but I don't know much about Touko, which is why I don't have much commentary.

    Quote Originally Posted by Prix with a Silent X View Post
    Also, on a grammatical level, I think you're talking about past perfect, which means to expresses that something in the past is complete or like a complete unit within the past. Past participle just describes that it's like an adjective form of the verb or at least can be used that way like "lost book" or whatever.
    After looking it up, yes, I meant past perfect: indicating that of two past events, this one happened earlier. Thank you for correcting me.

    Quote Originally Posted by Prix with a Silent X View Post
    I guess it happens because it's a reflexive kind of clarification that I did not just forget and slip back into the more common past tense prose.
    The use of past perfect/"fictional past" tense for past events and the use of present tense for present events don't fit together in my mind, but if it's necessary for your peace of mind, I can deal with it. (I'm afraid that comes across as condescending. I hope it doesn't.)

    Quote Originally Posted by Prix with a Silent X View Post
    That is actually something Touko is supposed to be kind of 'known for,' I think. Her ability to see through things and especially People.
    See above re: my knowledge of Touko and my commentary.

    Quote Originally Posted by Prix with a Silent X View Post
    Again, thank you for your kindness in leaving a comment, especially one that comments on the story itself and not mechanics alone. I really appreciate the compliment, and I hope my argument about the tense issue doesn't come across as arrogant.
    Not at all—or, if it does, I'm equally arrogant. Again, thank you for correcting me.

  12. #32
    A bi of a late post to say the least, but I wanted to say that I enjoy this very much. Touko is fascinating as she should be. I also find Kayneth very interesting here. Partially because he has a type apparently and partially because I remember him actually caring about Sola-Ui. So I’m wondering what will come of this.

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •