Fujimaru Ritsuka, the Master of Chaldea, was sweating bullets.
“Fujimaru, for an inexperienced Master acting for the late Dr. Archaman, you have quite the good rapport with these Servants, do you not?”
It was a simple question. An expected one even, especially in the current circumstances. The questioner was one of the auditors from the Clock Tower, a young Japanese magus not yet twenty years old. It should have been easy to have a good rapport with a guy of similar age and same nationality, but that was perhaps too-simple thinking.
Faced by that young man’s placid smile, the kind that never reached his single visible eye, young Ritsuka felt an odd but not entirely unfamiliar pressure. He remembered the briefing he had received from Miss da Vinci regarding the auditors, and her lines regarding this particular young man.
“He’s unrelated to the Clock Tower’s power games, but he is rumored to have a talent at reading people like open books. He is not the kind of person that will try to pull tricks on you, but be careful what you say and do when he’s around.”
The young Master wished he could curse the affectionate Berserker clinging to his left arm.
He knows. He definitely knows.
“Ah, um, well, ahaha…” He scratched the back of his head while futilely struggling against the dragon lady’s grasp. “I’ve been part of Chaldea for a while, so, um, I had many chances to spend time with them, I guess.”
The young auditor glanced at Shutendouji, who made no effort to hide her amusement, and one unbelievable Miyamoto Musashi, who went through the effort of avoiding his gaze. He then looked back at the young Master.
“…I see.”
Yup, he totally knows.
******************************************
It was a simple “verification and normalization” rayshift. In other words, monster hunting. An auditor joined for “observation purposes”. The choice for that day was troublesome in a number of simple ways.
Tenhourin Zuizan relies on a cane to walk, which did not follow him along to the singularity. So, they walked at the speed of his limping pace, for which he showed no shame nor need to apologize.
“So, Fujimaru.”
“Ye-Yes!?”
The roll of a single eye. An oni’s giggle.
“Is there any particular reason you brought three Japanese Servants?”
It was a simple and expectable question, spoken with a placid, soothing, calmly questioning tone. Why was it that he, Fujimaru Ritsuka, felt like he was stepping into a trap?
“Ah, um, no, not really. To be honest, this time I brought the ones I found on the way who were willing to come along.”
“That sounds a little haphazard.” Now that sounded more like an auditor’s inquiry.
“Mah, well…we’re not expecting anything particularly troublesome, and all our Servants are strong.”
“Hmph. If anything, this Kiyohime is everything my Anchin-
sama needs.”
A master swordswoman’s facepalm. Nobody could convince Ritsuka to admit a groan left his mouth at that moment. But it wasn’t like he could tell Kiyohime to keep her mouth shut.
“…her Anchin-
sama, is it.” Zuizan took a deep breath, and then looked at the Master with the same mirthless smile.
“You live an interesting life, Fujimaru.”
“Ah, ahaha…”
Another giggle from the same oni. Ritsuka’s evil eye had no effect on the great monster of Mt. Ooe.
“Hmm, and here I thought I was witnessing an unnecessary glimpse into Fujimaru Ritsuka’s fetishes.”
Kiyohime’s “loving wife hold” prevented Ritsuka from ending up faceplanted on the ground.
“What!?”
“Feigned ignorance is unbecoming, Fujimaru,” scolded the other young man. “You are surrounded by beautiful women. It would be neither surprising nor deplorable that your decisions as an inexperienced Master were driven to a degree by your teenage male libido.”
“Eh!? Is that true, senpai!?” A voice from Chaldea reaching across space and time.
“It isn’t! And why are you joining us just now, Mashu!?” His attention quickly shot back to the auditor. “Rather, don’t talk like you’re not a teenage male yourself!”
“Hmm. No, I would say I am already a fully-fledged adult.”
It made Ritsuka want to yell “I saved the world, damn it!”, but he immediately realized that was not really a sufficient or necessary condition for adulthood.
“Fufufu, Anchin-
sama is still young and inexperienced in the ways of expressing affection. Now, now, there’s no need to hold back! Let this Kiyo—mmbf!”
“Your input, Kiyo: appreciated, but unnecessary!” retorted the young man while smothering the dragon girl with a single hand.
“So it’s ‘Kiyo’, huh…”
“Don’t! Get ideas,” all but hissed Ritsuka at the calmly bemused auditor.
“So, am I to assume you do not have a physical relationship with any of your Servants?”
“Of course not!”
Kiyohime’s noises suggested a strong rebuttal.
The Master’s embarrassment (and Presence Concealment) prevented him from noticing the sauntering oni until she was all but whispering in his ear.
“Now, now, my dear, ahem,
young master,” she began, tickling his earlobe and filling his nostrils with that incredible aroma. “This one cannot believe you havest forgotten
the passionate moment we partook together this very summer. Surely that cannot be so?”
“That was entirely one-sided,” Ritsuka stubbornly decried.
“Now, now, you will make Ibaraki cry.”
“Ibaraki doesn’t care! If anything, she was the most embarrassed afterwards!”
“Se-senpai…?”
“Mashu! What did I tell you about Shuten!?”
“Ignore everything she says…?”
“Right!”
“You break this one’s heart, dear.”
“So, the oni, huh. I will not argue against your choice, but I must say I worry for your physical and mental integrity. I am far from an erudite in interspecies relationships, so I feel obligated to ask: do you think you will be alright, Fujimaru?”
“Senpai!?”
“Stop asking me about my non-existent sex life!”
Zuizan took the Master’s desperate outburst with his unchanging expression. The two men quietly stared at each other, as the Master gradually came to terms with the pitifulness of what he had just said, made more painful by the utter lack of pity or mockery from the other man. As if a compassionate response to the shame expressed in Ritsuka’s reddened cheeks, Zuizan was the first to look away.
“…very well. Master Miyamoto—ah, no, I guess that one’s in her own world.”
“Miss Musashi’s nosebleeding, senpai!”
And just like that, there was nothing to feel embarrassed about anymore.
“Nah, nah, let’s not even go there. That one’s hopeless.”
And thus, the master swordswoman was left to her delusions regarding her Master’s libido. Zuizan turned to the other Servant not cursed with Mad Enhancement.
“In that case, Lady Shutendouji, would you be so kind as to answer my questions concerning Fujimaru’s sex life?”
“Oi.”
“Fufufu. This one was instructed to collaborate wholeheartedly with the Clock Tower’s representatives. This humble oni shall endeavor to answer your questions to the utmost detail.”
“Oi!”
“Perfect. I shall look forward to interviewing you, fair oni.”
“Oiii!”
“Very well.” Zuizan turned back to the other male. “Next question: do you feel any form of attraction towards any of your Servants?”
The swift and spirited negation in the Master’s throat was choked to death the moment he caught the intense gazes from his Servants, including the one whose mouth he was still covering. Right there and then he knew he really needed to think his next actions carefully.
“You,” he mock-glared at the auditor. “are a demon.”
“No, she is.” Zuizan promptly pointed at Shutendouji.
“This one’s an oni, yes.”
Fujimaru Ritsuka decided it was too stupid to facepalm.
“Ritsuka-kun, dearie Mashu here would love to hear an answer!”
“Doki-doki…”
“Alright, you two are the worst of all—Kiyo, are you kissing my hand?”
“Fujimaru.”
“What now?” The young Master was perhaps a little irritated at this point.
“I have been addressing these fair ladies as
your Servants for some time now. I notice nobody has commented on it or acted to correct me.”
“Geh.”
“Geh.” Da Vinci.
Zuizan’s smile showed neither triumph nor despondence, neither mockery nor satisfaction. It was a plain, mild, easygoing smile. Neither a detective’s, nor a mastermind’s.
“Indeed.”
******************************************
The grand battle was over.
“We are not expecting anything particularly troublesome, was it?” commented Zuizan while looking down at a sweating Musashi.
“Don’t put this one on me,” replied a rather unruffled Master.
“But, really, that was a dragon.” Zuizan pointed out the obvious.
“A ghost dragon,” added Kiyohime.
“And its breath…spilled out curses,” finished a hoarse-speaking Musashi.
“Well thank you for the update!”
Zuizan kneeled before the great swordswoman.
“Master Miyamoto, are you well? You took that curse breath all but point-blank.”
“I’m fine! I mean…I’ll live. We’re…done here, right? So I just…hafta…rest this away…”
The two males exchanged looks, probably sharing similar thoughts concerning the Saber’s difficulty of breathing and cold sweat.
“Fujimura, I take you do not have countermeasures against curses at hand.”
“Um, no, didn’t bring the right Code. This time it’s really my bad.”
“This time, huh.”
“Geh.”
Zuizan made no comment on the other young man’s indirect admission at having more experience at Mastering than previously declared. With a sigh, not of exasperation, but aiming to ease the body, he began to tug at the bandages covering his right arm.
“It matters not. I’ll take care of this.”
“No, no, really, Auditor-
san, no need to—”
“The possibility remains there are still enemies to engage. I care about my general wellbeing, so I would rather have you at your best condition, Master Musashi.”
But Musashi had not stopped because she had been interrupted. Like the other Servants and their Master, their attention had fallen upon the exposed right arm, revealing extensive burn scars and a complete lack of nails and body hair.
“I carry the blood of a liar,” began the incantation, which was listened in respectful silence. To be a magus is to walk with death, it is said, so neither Ritsuka nor his Servants would do anything to disrupt his concentration.
“Still bearing the cursed flame, I walk the path of compassion, mediated by the Wisdom King Acala.”
Zuizan’s burnt right hand reached for Musashi’s left. With a nod from the Master, Musashi posed no resistance.
“Cursed flame, become the inner
homa. Devour all curses, all bad things, and all the evil karma.”
After pulling the hand away, Zuizan’s left hand enveloped the pointed middle and index fingers of the right hand—the samadhi-zen mudra. Musashi was by this point looking at the hand he had held, as if looking for a missing something.
“Unto the pure spiral path of the Lotus mandala, by the mercy of Vairocana, I enter
Taizoukai Zanmai
Samadhi of the Womb Realm
.”
It was not flashy magecraft. The incantation itself spelled its conclusion. With a long, deep sigh, Zuizan stood back on feet that seemingly no longer could bear with his weight. Ritsuka reached for Zuizan when he stumbled, but it was another one who moved the fastest to support the weakened young magus.
“La-Lady Kiyo—”
“Sit down.”
“No, that’s not—we can get going—”
“Sit.”
Her voice left no room for argument.
Sitting next to the magus, Kiyohime reached not for the burnt arm, but for the loose, dangling bandages.
“I will redo the bandaging,” she declared to a stunned audience.
“…my gratitude, Lady Kiyohime.”
A Master and two Servants watched the strange scene in muted astonishment.
“Se-se-senpai! Are my eyes deceiving me? Is this one of Mr. Merlin’s illusions?”
Ritsuka did not need to ask Musashi about her condition; it was clear she was curse-free and as peppy as ever. Rather, it was Musashi who leaned into his ear like some gossiping teenage girl.
“Master, this is, like, the first time Kiyohime pays attention to another man!”
It made him roll his eyes, which was followed by Shuten’s familiar and delightful chuckle.
“Why is it that you humans find the darnedest things surprising? It should be obvious she would care about that young man.”
The auditor and his unexpected nurse were not paying attention to that exchange. Kiyohime carefully and skillfully wrapped the white linen bandages around the blackened arm.
“Lady Kiyohime is very proficient.”
“I am a noble lady. It is to be expected I am educated in all the skills necessary to be a good mother.”
“I see. I guess that makes sense.”
“Do not merely ‘guess’.” The quick rebuke made Zuizan jump a little.
“Yes, ma’am.”
A few seconds of silence.
“You took that curse upon yourself,” said the Berserker.
“I take you refer to the curse that befell Master Musashi. That has already been disposed of.”
“Good.”
Another brief silence.
“Lady Kiyohime.”
“Hmm?”
“Are you happy?”
“Very much, thank you for asking.”
“…I see. I’m glad.”
“Do not lie to me, child.” Kiyohime’s voice sharpened, and reptilian eyes glowered at the suddenly tense Zuizan.
“You have already relinquished that emotion.”
For the first time, Zuizan’s expression lost its neutral countenance, revealing authentic contrition.
“…my apologies.”
“Do not apologize,” harshly retorted the dragon woman, even as her glare softened and her attention returned to the bandaging. “What about you? If not happiness, are you capable of satisfaction at this point?”
Zuizan recoiled as if physically struck by the question. However, Kiyohime’s grip on his arm was firm; there was no way to escape her. He could no longer look at her firm, inquisitive gaze.
“That…that is irrelevant. I have to let go of everythi—”
He winced when his arm was squeezed.
“Do not make me repeat myself. Do
not. Lie to me.”
The hand that had been working on the bandages all this time reached for Zuizan’s chin, forcing him to look straight at her.
“You are no Buddha; you are a dragon. Rather than letting go of anything, you are keeping everything to yourself. Desperately, passionately, pitifully, just like me.”
“I am not like you,” said Zuizan with almost childlike petulance.
“Obviously. Accepting everything but never reaching for anything. Never wishing for anything, never having anything that is your own. A dragon? No, you might just become something a lot more terrible one day. Not that walking such a path is a bad thing, mind you.”
The hand went back from his chin to his bandaged arm, patting it affectionately.
“It is
yours. That should be the only thing that matters.”
One last pat. Could it pride, Ritsuka wondered, what glimmered in his cute Berserker’s eyes?
“It is to me, in any case.”
Clearly, those words meant a lot more to Zuizan than they did to the others listening. Staring at Kiyohime with big, astonished, and somewhat moist eyes, the young auditor did not take his eyes off her face until she checked the result of her nursing labor one last time.
“It is done.”
“Ye-yes. My thanks, Lady Kiyohime.”
“No need. Now, stand, my lovely and pitiful child.”
As the two got back on his feet, Zuizan clearly having regained his usual poise, Kiyohime appraised him with a firm, severe eye. Nodding to herself, she spoke.
“I will make a special exception and allow you to call me Mother.”
The two winced at the explosive reaction from their surroundings, mostly composed of variations of “eh!?”, plus a quiet “ufufu” from a certain oni.
Zuizan stared at the Berserker for a few moments, musing the offer until he went with pointing at the Master of Chaldea.
“I sure as hell am not calling him ‘Father’.”
Things got even louder around them.
“Hmph. What a rude child; clearly your education was lacking. When we return to Chaldea, you will tell me all about your life.”
“Yes, Mother.”
They walked ahead of the rest of the group in an almost dismissive manner, leaving Ritsuka and Musashi feeling a little left out. The Master quickly turned to his trusted (?) Assassin.
“Shuten, can you make sense of that for me?”
Instead of an answer, he got a disarming smile dripping with sex.
“For the right price, gladly.”
“You’re a demon!”
“I’m an oni, yes.”
This time he did facepalm.