Ah, fuckdammit, Temujin is already here. Now I feel rude for WIPing another Khan.
Ah, fuckdammit, Temujin is already here. Now I feel rude for WIPing another Khan.
Fate\last call
night, dawn, and the birth of stars
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Recent: Ch. ■┘
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That would be because I forgot and didn't add one in. I will rectify posthaste.
Well, he's MEANT to be the same thing as Altera. I... don't really understand the difference between a Void Cell and an Anti-Cell and a Whatever Else Cell. He's a very different KIND of Velber to her, too. He's MEANT to be human-like, it's his ability to replicate Agent Smith style that makes him dangerous. I figured Chingisid is pretty wackadoo broken since it's an NP that's essentially a press-for-zombie-apocalypse button. Again, I have not played an /EX game, this is purely off half-baked wiki understanding and pure ignorance in favour of creativity.
Who Cares Do It Anyway
Presuming you mean Genghis and not one of the others, Still Do It Anyway. Not like mine isn't so Deep In The Lore that literally any other take on him will still be just as original.
So he would be an Anti-Cell. The Anti-Cells are the agents of Verber units. Think of it like Servant and Master. They're the vanguards that are sent out to destroy/consume/corrupt life before the arrival of Verber proper. That said, he's still a really neat take on their power, and totally different from what I've done with my takes on them. Corruption as consumption is interesting both thematically and mechanically. I still like him.
This Link Is Easier Than Forum Surfing
The (Legally Required) Compedium
Thanks for the clarification, I'll touch that up real quick and add a Hati reference. And I'm glad you like him! I think the highest form of praise is me writing this not knowing what I'm talking about and you, who does, enjoying it.
EDIT: There we go, correct terminology hopefully used and relationship I can't believe I missed added. Hope you like it
(also please, someone, click the music link. it's my best joke yet)
Last edited by realcasually; June 16th, 2021 at 03:56 PM.
Wow, with the final week, things are getting dangerous. Cant wait to see the remaining entries.
Yup! Looks good.
I'll post my second entry either tonight or tomorrow.
This Link Is Easier Than Forum Surfing
The (Legally Required) Compedium
I honestly rolled the eyes when I saw Genghis Khan is Velber01. (nail in the coffin was that my Timur wasnt in the quotes Kappa). I personally do not like this on the nose Attila is like Temujin, so they are Velber and I dont think MoonCancer is the right class because he has nothing to do with the moon, right? My background aside I think Foreigner would fit better here, just like the alternative class of Altera can be Foreigner.
Despite that and that the therefore predictable, but still cool DNA NP, the execution is great. You always make the extra effort of actually creating playable units, which barely anyone bothers with and is actually decently hard. The quotes are on point and damn chilling, really really great job.
"Let's see the color of your coin, my friend."
Behold my vault of Heroes.
Where the Heavens and the Abyss breath the Music of Humanity.
The King's duty is to provide. And provide, I shall.
University of Formatting | Gallery of Potential | Memorandum of the Extra Class Kings
Our Kingdom will grow. And we shall know each citizen.
Create-a-Servant 4 soon.
What is actually with your second servant actually ? and i am still curious About your Statement of my Augustus ?
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I am honestly not fond of theses Velber ans space Thing as the whole Mecha thingg of Grand order and Velber Sound to me somehow not creative as therer is enough material to make a interetsing Attila or Temujin profile without Space Elements but okay everyone has different oppinions , besides aside that my profile is a blockbuuster how is your oppinion abouut my Augustus Delrey ?
Your verified Chikara-production Studios !
Dont ship me with anyone unless i say so !
When you wake a Dragon in his Lair...
o o f
I DON'T REMEMBER EVERYONE'S SERVANTS I'M SORRY I'LL FIX IT I PROMISE
Their similarity IS why I was inspired to do the idea, I can't lie. It's not the most inspired thing in the world. Like I said, it's only when the idea for the second Noble Phantasm came to me that I realised I could give this an actual niche that WASN'T horrifically cliche.
I thought about Foreigner for a while, but I decided on Moon Cancer since it's such a dicey class. I mean, Jinako/Ganesha is one. Summer Kiara is one when regular Kiara isn't. The qualifiers seem to be pretty dicey. I decided with it because the Velber are tied to the Moon Cell pretty implicitly-- I recall reading they were actually built by the same race. So there IS a relation, thankyouverymuch. Also, I just wanted to make a MoonCancer, man. They're a very hard class to do, since it's not just "people related to the moon", they have to somehow be tied to the Moon Cell specifically, so a Velber-related character seemed to fit the bill pretty well. Foreigners are for Lovecraftian gods outside our universe, at least the way I'd feel comfortable making them. Foreigner can stay as an alternate class for him for now. I know Voyager is a thing, ssh. He's only a Foreigner because his Voyager class ain't in the game.
Thank you! Yeah, I know the idea isn't all that original. I figured I'd have my detractors-- and your points are pretty fair. But I like to think I put a spin on it of my own, and I'm glad you like what I did in that regard. The fact you don't like the base of it but still enjoy the extras, as well as being refreshingly honest, makes me happy to know I can still make something workable out of a concept that's not the most popular. And yeah, I had a lot of fun with the quotes. He's a real Final Boss Type, is what I was going for. Again, literal potential human extinction event NP, I'm damn proud of that.
Last edited by realcasually; June 16th, 2021 at 04:39 PM.
Sorry, I have been busy with my second servant so I havent got the oppurtunity to see yours in depht. Unfortunately, i agree with Whale regarding having 5 NPs rank A above being too unbalanced. I might submit my second sheet tomorrow. I initially meant to make about the oldest monarch of Iberian Peninsula, but it doesnt fit the Theme of this contest. I decided to bring yet another Portuguese servant.
Reviews are forthcoming. But first, some responses.
Master of my craft? I just word good and am enough to have idea sense make. I'm a long ways off before being able to accept that title. Still I'm glad I was able to convey her character and struggles enough to get the feels, even if I used Garden of Avalon music to help. Replica Blue from the Craft Essence is actually closer to being her theme, and you can even scroll up on the playlist to find the song that has become Dagonet's theme in both my heart and the sheet proper, Fake.
I totally forgot you made Aqualtune and never even realized you did Ganga. Link me them, and I can think up some dialogue to add. That right there's an oversight.
I knew he would likely dislike them both, her especially, but I knew it would be for different reasons. Unlike her, he actually does respect Pedro even if he'll never be able to agree with him.
It's as you said. This Zumbi is my creative liberty. Heroic Spirits are the crystallization of the people's perceptions of a figure combined with their true self. Zumbi was probably something similar to this Servant, but likely just as different in turn. The emphasis and compounding of the importance of freedom and how it weaves into his sheet is something that comes from his status and legacy as a heroic symbol of freedom and rebellion against slavery. I've done plenty of crazy things, but giving him dinosaur bones and the like didn't feel needed. Zumbi himself was already enough.
Plus, that's sort of also what the Òrìṣà stuff is there for, even if it barely plays any role in affecting who he was or is as a Servant. However, it did serve to get me looking into and becoming very interested in the Yoruba religion. I'm definitely making a Servant based more in that later. Anyway, yeah, just PM me if you ever want to do stuff. I'm open to anyone who wants to add a little strangeness to a Servant or just opinions. Got plenty of those.
As an Anchor of the World, it just seemed logical she would use it in her plans to merge Britain to Avalon. If I actual did write a full lostbelt around her, she actually was able to use it to link the worlds, but unintentionally merged them together. Up till present day, humanity has been disappearing simply because they've been evolving over the millennia-and-a-half into beings closer to faeries and other Phantasmal Species, somewhat similar to what I've read the Russian Lostbelt is about except on a global scale. Probably have a low rank comparable to it considering humanity is extinct but technically alive.
I've done chapters for a few Servants like Shinji, Glatisant, and Tor whenever I feel they go on for longer than normal. Something to break them up and give readers a little breathing room and checkpoints.
Don't blame Autism. By this point, most people have probably realized I have a habit of hiding things in most of my sheets. I've often full-on spoiled future things with hidden text, but no one ever seems to notice.
Mostly just nervous on not going overboard on things. I tend to go crazy when it comes to characters, so I always have that slight questioning of whether or not something will work out.
Last edited by Morg van Destro; June 26th, 2021 at 01:29 AM.
Do you likejazzshort stories? Do you want something to distract from making Servants? Do you wish the idea of Shirou Kotomine didn't immediately bring edgelords to mind? Well, I can't promise it's good, but some would disagree with me.
Fate/Without Justice
That Temujin's second NP reminds me of the Noah family from D.Gray-Man where they could reincarnate through anyone who bears the bloodline of the original Noah (in other words, everyone). Pretty scary stuff.
@realcas : I kindly refer to my latest Extra Class Compendium, in which i suggest some categories for various Extra Classes. For MoonCancer I think the phrase in the wiki of 'scarring the moon' can be generalized. So either threats to the moon cell or our moon. Like the latest Hati, because well she is a direct threat or my Yuki Onna, because she could have secrets of the moon.
And afaik only 02 has the direct connection to the moon cell due to being bound there.
Regarding Foreigner Class there are three possible types as well according to what i could see in this forum, again just look at the top of my blog.
"Let's see the color of your coin, my friend."
Behold my vault of Heroes.
Where the Heavens and the Abyss breath the Music of Humanity.
The King's duty is to provide. And provide, I shall.
University of Formatting | Gallery of Potential | Memorandum of the Extra Class Kings
Our Kingdom will grow. And we shall know each citizen.
Create-a-Servant 4 soon.
You definetely have some interesting ideas, that's for sure. I'll probably borrow some of that hard earned research for myself... just saying~
But I do offer something in exchange! My own hard work:
Ganga: https://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthrea...=1#post3018661
Aqualtune: https://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthrea...=1#post3120548
I pray you will find them interesting. Though one of them is quite old by my standards, so the quality is inferior to what I might be able to do now if I remade Ganga's sheet.
You guys CAN'T keep doing this. When I think, A'ight I guess I have my votes pretty much set you come barging in with these behemots and it scrambles my whole schedule. Our latest entries are just out of this world, they're too good. I will talk about them as soon as possible, I promise (because frankly, they need a big ass comment, they deserve that much). But I stand by what I said: YOU PEOPLE CAN'T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH THIS.
Last edited by Random; June 16th, 2021 at 10:17 PM.
Fate\last call
night, dawn, and the birth of stars
╘══════════════════╕
Characters┤
Dictionary┤
Poll┤
Recent: Ch. ■┘
next arc: Spring 2024
Kublai Khan: A lovely addition to the Khan lineage which is definitely not an alien plot. Maybe a little... plain, if I have to REALLY nitpick? But maybe that's just me being jaded from how bonkers some of the entries this contest have been. Her personality is really charming, and you have a great writing style which really brings across the emotion here.
I've added a quote for her, and for DelRey's Timur as well, to Temujin.
Yo Random, I have respect how you get in here and add another style of formatting. I looked at your code, it is commendable how you added the colored bars. Looks really good, the header itself got my attention. Perhaps I will steal it ~
There I also noticed the many hidden texts in your sheet. so if some of you missed it, there are things to click here and there.
DelRey approves of the quote, cas
"Let's see the color of your coin, my friend."
Behold my vault of Heroes.
Where the Heavens and the Abyss breath the Music of Humanity.
The King's duty is to provide. And provide, I shall.
University of Formatting | Gallery of Potential | Memorandum of the Extra Class Kings
Our Kingdom will grow. And we shall know each citizen.
Create-a-Servant 4 soon.
After Brazil Express, it's time for Khan Town !
Nah, more seriously, two VERY SOLID sheets about the Khan lineage, Temujin being my favorite of the two.
I also really liked the Zumbi sheet, a solid one for a figure I didn't knew and who turned out to be very interesting ! I really should read stuff about Brazilian history, one of these days.
If I'm not mistaken we're in the final week, right ? The last line ! Splendid job everyone, and good luck to those who are still working on something !