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Thread: Monthly Create-A-Servant Contest

  1. #4681
    死徒(下級)Lesser Dead Apostle Vance's Avatar
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    Uh, sorry how do I make links? Sorry, I've never actually done something like that before.
    Maybe.

    https://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthrea...72#post3146772

    https://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthrea...35#post3152635

    Oh hey, that worked. Nevermind then.

  2. #4682
    this is my hole, it was made for me!


  3. #4683
    死徒(下級)Lesser Dead Apostle Vance's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kiwi View Post
    this is my hole, it was made for me!

    Go Hog Wild, Brah.

  4. #4684
    死徒(下級)Lesser Dead Apostle Baron Magnus's Avatar
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    Author's Note
    For once it comes first because I just want to get the right mind set going. Originally, this servant was just going to be a Greda & Friends sheet. However as I wrote some idea's came up and some themes and I decided to write them to see if they work... the final result is this. So be warned, its a bit long because there's quite a bit going on. That said I hope you enjoy it



    Fantasy is often the flipside of reality, both sides of the same coin and inseperable



    yet, sometimes, reality is mere fantasy. What happens when the sides flip... or worse, become blended?
    Well hello master! I'm servant Rider, a pleasure to meet you! Now then... shall we claim the grail for ourselves?


    Sources
    EGGS, Typemoon.fandom.com. Harime_sa, Twitter.com. Arthifis, Pinterest.com. Rolutte, Reddit.com. Nate Ming, Crunchyroll.com.. VirtualMan209, Deviantart.com. Dissnuts, Discord.com (He's a member that shared this pic he found and a search reveals no further sources so here it is). Pinterest.com. Twwk, Animepopheart.com. SolemnWings, Bravefrontierglobal.fandom.com. Incub7, Typemoon.fandom.com.


    True Name
    Snow Queen's Tale

    Class
    Rider

    Origin
    European Fairy Tales

    Alignment
    Variable

    Likes
    Animals, Beauty, Mathematics, Nature, Love, Honesty, Friendship, and Kind Souls.

    Dislikes
    Distortions, Heat, Simplicity, Urbanization, Adultery, Selflessness, Aggression, and Evil.

    Natural Talents
    Pure-Heartedness and Multiple Other Talents

    Natural Enemy
    Demon Mirrors

    Other Classes
    Alter-Ego

    Catalyst
    the Snow Queen by Hans Christian AndersenA simple green cloak owned by Hans

    Armaments
    Robber Dagger (E-rank)
    Golden Carriage (C-rank)
    Snow Queen's Sled (B-rank)
    Xanathus and Balius (B-rank)
    Taghadh Fiacail (C-rank)
    Golden Chariot A' Ceasnachadh (B-rank)
    Frozen Moon Mirror (A+-rank)




    Don't worry bout our nature. Pointless. We're all different be'ins but Gerda'll keep us all in line. Yer back's safe


    Parameters

    Str: FE (D) End: C (B) Agi: DC (B)
    Mna: CB (A) Lck: B (A) NP: BEX



    Don't worry about our parameters. They're never... consistent. An advantage, really, when used correctly. For the tactics we'll rely on you. No one within us really has that sort of mind.


    Lore

    The Snow Queen. A tale by an aspiring author. One of his earliest works. His inspiration for the tale is unknown though he claims it is purely original and inspired by only his own imaginations. However Hans Christian Anderson avoids this servant explicitly. Why? Only they know though a particular fact illuminates the reason why.

    Gerda is the main character and protagonist of the Snow Queen. She has a wonderful childhood with Kai but becomes distant when Kai is distorted by two shards of the Demon Mirror entering his body. However she still cares deeply for him and grows depressed and distraught when he mysteriously disappeared during winter and never returned when spring came.

    She chased hope when she found it, going on a journey to find and save Kai. She fought witches, she overcame adversity, she made powerful allies, and she even found the elusive palace of the Snow Queen herself, a palace of perfect, beautiful, ice overshadowing a beautiful moon. Within she found Kai and with the touch of her pure heart cleansed him of the corruption wrought by the demon mirror that caused his distortion in the first place. Supposedly, the two lived happily ever after.

    Yet, as with all tales, there is a truth. For her true catalyst is not the manuscript. It is a simple green cloak owned by Hans. The cloak Gerda was gifted on her travels. One that simply rejects mana, isn't able to be destroyed by modern means, and was much lighter than it looked.

    In truth Gerda is but one personality within the Composite Servant 'Snow Queen's Tale'. Within she contains 'the Snow Queen', 'Kai', 'the Animals', 'Nature', 'the Robber Princess', 'the Royals', and even 'the Demon Mirror' as well as 'the Witches'. Each one exists within and offer some measure of power and weight to the whole.

    One might think this is due to her being mere fiction, imagined by Hans. Yet... the cloak proves a simple fact. A 'Gerda' did exist. A journey did occur. One lost to time, replaced by the fiction crafted by Hans... yet, somehow, perhaps due to Hans getting a fact right, some echoes of it remain. Their names are lost... but their tale not forgotten. Thanks to the work of Hans... even if heavily distorted.



    Our history? That is an interesting question. We are born from literature... yet... somehow there's something 'real' about us. Strange, isn't it?


    Class Skills

    Magic Resistance: B (A)

    A skill granted to those of the Saber and Rider classes naturally even if they lack any encounters with magecraft in their legends. However in her case she encountered many forms of it throughout her adventures and overcame them. For example she fell to a flower witches slumber spell but her pure heart allowed nearby roses to rouse her from sleep. Further she has several figures with measures of magic resistance within her adding to the strength of this skill.

    At her particular rank she is immune to the effects of three-verse spells or lower and heavily mitigates greater rituals or high thaumaturgy from even high-ranking or long lived magus. Only true caster servants magecraft can target her and be unmitigated in anyway. Not quite a magus killer but easily able to trample over any modern magus.

    When she collects the essence of Witch it becomes the magic cloak that aided her on her travels. One that kept her warm in the cold, cool in the heat, was practically weightless, and also protected her from errant magecraft. This raises this skill by a rank.

    At the new rank she is completely immune to magecraft, even greater rituals or high thaumaturgy, from modern magus regardless of lineage or strength. While such things from a caster servant might be able to harm or impede her somewhat, they are still heavily mitigated. Only a noble phantasm can have a lasting impact on her.

    Riding: B

    A skill held by the Saber and Rider class containers. As a Rider this skill is the staple of her class. At first glance this skill should be rather low... yet in truth, due to her nature, she has quite a history of riding. Rather not just she but many within. The animals themselves are 'riding'. The Snow Queen has a chariot pulled by a storm itself. Gerda rode boats, sentient natures, and animals to her destinations. Many oddities within the legends that grants her this skill at a high rank.

    At this rank in fact she is capable of riding anything mundane as if she had expertise in it. From modern cars to even camels she came ride them all naturally. However in addition she can also ride phantasmal beasts. Naga, Sentient storms. All are possible under this skill. Further her mounts gain a full rank to their parameters while she is riding them.

    Divinity (False): D (C)

    A form of divinity that is not truly innate. Rather it is acquired. How or why is unknown as the original tale has been lost completely... yet it is undeniable that Greda or some facet of Snow Queen's Tale came into contact with something divine and gained a certain level of divinity from it.

    Despite being superficially similar it functions differently. She gains no real bonuses to defense in general, rather she gains a small bonus to her defenses when faced with a servant that has some sort of divine aspect to them. Further she also gains a bonus to attacks when fighting enemies that are in some way divine.

    Once she collects Snow Queen's essence she gains the friendship of nature that she once had, raising this skills rank by one. At this new rank the bonus to defense and attacks increases considerably, even bordering on being a plus modifier.



    Hehe! May not be my preferred skills but I can make do! I'll make you proud, Gerda!


    Personal Skills

    Curse of the Mirror: B

    A composite skill of Distortion, Innocent Monster, and High Servant. Held by her due to containing the Demon Mirror within, which always shows the ugliest aspects of all things. Created by fairies in order to mock god's creation, and while it is said a fall caused its destruction it is debatable why the fairies allowed such to happen.

    The first skill grants her the class skill of another class while weakening the staple skill of her class, in this case she gains Divinity at D rank but only has B-rank Riding as a result. She has such a distortion due in part to holding the Demon Mirror, an artifact of distortion, within herself as well as distortions caused by the second skill contained within this one.

    Innocent Monster distorts the servant based on public perception. While not particularly popular in modern awareness Hans Christian Andersens tales are largely considered the 'Truth' of the matter. As such this skill makes this servant reflect this truth. Rather than whatever truth might've once existed instead the character represents the modern telling of 'the Snow Queen'.

    The final skill combines several different servants or phantoms into a single container to form an independent servant that contains traits of all those involved. In her case she contains the phantoms and servants that would come from 'the Snow Queen' tale. These are the various witches, the various animals both phantasmal and otherwise, the sentient bits of nature, Kai, the Snow Queen, the Robber Girl, and the Royals that helped her in her time of need... even the Demon Mirror is present, what was thought to be merely an artifact is in fact to an extent sentient.

    Pure Heart: B+

    A skill held by those famous for being pure of heart and soul. Gerda, the protagonist of the story, was definitely one such individual. In the end her pure heart cleared the distortions influencing and corrupting Kai, her childhood friend. Yet she is not alone. She is just the face of the servant... and so this skill has deteriorated to an extent.

    As she contains not only the demon mirror but also other facets, such as the Robber Girl, who are in a way not wholly pure within her this skill degrades the purity of herself. It is not totally impure. It is like a diamond. One that is beautiful and shaped by nature itself into a perfect shape. Her normal rank would be this. However her current rank instead is one with a few chips. Still whole and glamorous but definitely holding fault.

    At her rank she gains a total immunity to curses. Further her souls contents have resistance to being altered in anyway, preventing to an extent mental interference and charm magecraft. In essence such things have a negative modifier applied to them. Further her soul naturally cleanses impurities from her soul and others. Not ridding one of sin but ridding oneself from anything that has altered the soul.

    Normally, this would entail Gerda being freed from the collective and maintaining the truth of her legend... however the Mirror's curse in this class is simply too strong for this skill alone to overcome it. Instead it merely maintains the personalities of those within and adds other benefits.

    As a note all attacks this servants make also have an aspect of Anti-Evil to it.

    Maiden of Journeys: A

    A skill unique to her. While it partially acts as a composite skill of Endowed Maiden and Communion with Nature at A and D rank respectively. However This skills primary purpose is to signify growth throughout her journey. It is only active after her second noble phantasm has been used.

    The composite skills, Endowed Maiden at A-rank and Communion with Nature at D-rank, function together with this skill. All manner of thing can and generally will give her what she needs eventually or even immediately or grant her aid when she needs it. The best example is that roses often will respond to her souls cries for help when influenced by magecraft and aid her in overcoming it.

    However the primary part functions entirely different than the first part of this skill. It has a singular, sole function. It wards off effects that would alter her fate outright. While it cannot alone undo fate-alterations done by noble phantasms it can instead force a luck check and grant a significant bonus to succeed that luck check in order to survive or even overcome the noble phantasm.

    This only applies midjourney. Once the journey is complete this skill instead raises her luck to A-rank and she is entitled to a luck check whenever a killing blow would be landed. If she succeeds the blow is greivous instead.



    Our peculiar summoning does come with a supreme advantage. Variety. You'll not want for a particular skillset. We can provide.


    Personality

    Greda is a very sociable girl. Forward, uprfront, excitable, and good-hearted describes her perfectly. To say her pure heart is intact is not an understatement. Rather Greda acts as the face simply because they all agree she's a good first impression. She is in fact fine with letting others interact with their surroundings.

    The Snow Queen herself is very... odd. Despite her regal appearance and distant nature, she acts completely familiar with others. Rather she talks like she knows them and cares though maintains a distant attitude. If one pays attention they may notice that the Snow Queen never quite looks one in the eye but is gazing as something about them.

    the Robber Girl, one that comes up quite often, is a very excitable girl. While greedy in nature it is less of a fault and more of a consenquence of her real nature; that of a thrill-seeker. To her robbing others is merely a pasttime rather than an end goal. Her true end goal is to make friends. Unfortunately that means capturing and trapping them. She admits Greda scolds her often.

    Kai is perhaps the coldest of the essences. He is a straightforward thinker and prefers solitude. In many ways he acts as though he was still distorted by the mirror... though in truth he is not. Rather he is still distant but not out of pure disdain for the world's ugliness. Rather he is simply shy. Especially when other woman who are beautiful, mathematically, show up... to Greda's chagrin.

    the Royals while in the same body often act interesting. They may seem to be in love with only each other but they hold Greda and Kai in high regard along with the Robber Girl. When they are serious however and not relaxing they act like proper authorities, giving out orders and raising morale.

    the Animals refer to the animals that helped Greda and despite being a collective within a collective their similarities are enough that they are more or less a single essence. While somewhat simple in thought they are by no means lacking in intellect. Rather any information they have or learn is broken down into simple concepts. They also are quite friendly, especially to strangers that feed them good food.

    the Witches refer to the other magical woman throughout her tale. Similar to the animals they are a syncretism of those essences into one essence. While they tend to act very mysterious, they also are very kind and helpful. Often they'll try to spoil their master and keep them happy.

    the Nature essence strangely rarely comes forth. Either due to not feeling a need to or simply not caring as they dislike their state... however when they do they tend to act friendly and helpful. However they are also self-centered and barely regard their master as a superior. If anything they are treated as a subordinate. A battery.

    The final essence that comprises Snow Queen's Tale is the Demon Mirror. A mirror created by fairies to mock the world they lived in. They eventually dared to try to turn it on Gaia and suddenly let go of the mirror. Yet even shattered it wrought its evil even stronger than before. It practically never comes out at the behest of Greda and Kai... however in times of self-preservation it absolutely will force itself forward.

    The collective itself interacts interestingly with their surroundings. Generally Greda will be at the front but at times another will be present. While they will try to act natural, some have a harder time than others. If they get overwhelmed, Greda will generally take over and let that essence recover.

    Interestingly when it comes to combat they are incredibly pragmatic. While she has a pure nature and abhors combat she takes a pragmatic approach; she ends it as quickly as possible. Most others take this approach but in different ways. However two essences love combat to an extent in a strange way; Nature views it as a way for their container to get stronger and the Demon Mirror enjoys prolonged combat as a way to stress Greda.

    In addition the collective, despite knowing and having good relations with one another generally, is not a hive mind. They are individuals with different motives and goals. All agree on the goal of incarnating into separate forms or simply becoming proper heroic spirits so they can try at a chance of incarnating on their own... however they disagree on the tactics to reach there. Especially the demon mirror.

    The Demon Mirror, despite it being part of the collective, is perhaps the most combative essence. It openly disdains the others when it comes forth and while it seeks self-preservation it also seeks to stress and hurt the others. Its true nature is not quite demonic; rather it is a sadist and one that cares not for others.

    It is this nature that the other essences keep him buried deep within their psyche. Repressed and only allowed out when absolutely nessecary. Simply because it disdains them and they disdain it.



    Ho-ho-ho. Don't worry about rubbing us the wrong way dear. The worst of us delights in trading barbs and the more prickly simply don't care enough. I, personally, let things go rather easy... well, so long as little Gerda forgives you tha


    Interactions

    Master
    As I said master, we are servant Rider. Currently, I am Greda. I have... one moment... 9 mythological essences within me. All from the tale 'the Snow Queen'. My skills are quite expansive so the grail is as good as won!

    My name is Kai. I was Greda's childhood friend in the tales... in the end though... nevermind that. For now let's focus on the grail war. We need to win and if you need smarts I'm your man. Especially when it comes to mathematics.

    I am the Snow Queen. I command snow and storms as naturally as I breathe. Nature is as much my ally as I am it... of course, Kai is rather adorable so he is my ally too. You are, for now

    We are the Royalty. We helped Greda after a misunderstanding between the essences that syncresized into mine and her. So if you ever need money or authority, just ask for us

    Eyo! I'm Robber Girl! I helped Greda on her travels! Gave her some friends and a nice shiny dagger! Hopefully she kept it... then again, we all can make use of that so don't sweat it master!

    Oh. Hello. I'm Animals. That's all. Ya want strength? I'm your essence. Just ask one a' the others ta get me when ya need somethin' big moved.

    I am Witch. The combined essence of all the magical old ladies that helped Greda. I can't claim to be stronger than the Snow Queen but I actually use magecraft... so if our enemy is a magus or magus caster let me take the forefront.

    .... Nature.... that is my name. I will only come forth when I deem it nessecary. That is all, master

    Well, well, well. The girls all got in a bind, eh? Fine. I can handle this. Got just the thing. A little self-reflection oughta teach that punk... now, master, come. Let's have a night on the town, favors of Royalty. Oh, and my name's Demon Mirror. Cheers!

    Hassan?
    Tsk. What an annoying hassan. To think he'd sacrifice his stronghold just to take out a few servants... no way he survived though. He was right in the center when it all collapsed. Took real guts to pull off an attack like that. I can respect it

    Percival
    He was nice. We enjoyed talking in the morning the other day. If this wasn't a grail war, then maybe we could've been more friendly

    Vlad "Dracula" Tepes
    A monster. That word describes this creature best. Barely any humanity left. Truly a pity.

    Isaac Newton
    A smart man. Way ahead of his time. If only he'd let go of his hang ups about da vinci...

    John of England
    What a sad existence, torn between reality and fiction. If only I was a proper heroic spirit, I could help him, but like this, I might accidentally just make it worse. Distortions... nothing good ever comes from them.

    Comte de Saint Germaine
    Haha! A man after my own heart! If only he wasn't a walk'in fraud I might actually like the guy! Still! Tonight is a celebration so I'll let it slide! Just this once!

    James J. Kilroy
    My what an adorable symbol! I wonder who made it? Well, no matter. I'll find and compliment them personally!

    Extinction
    Help, help, help! Not again!
    I do not appreciate you bullying my friend. Begone at once.

    William Henry Harrison
    Help, help! He's going to kill us!
    Why? He seems like a nice fellow. We should go back and apologize for our rude behavior!

    Bäckerhexe Mutter
    Oh a witch! Nice to meet you I'm Greda! I'm happy to see that your people still exist!

    Yuri
    Oh! Hey! A new friend! Come here new friend I have treats!



    Hehehe... such vibrant souls humans are. Even dead, they somehow keep it. Quite a wonder huh? Where do they all from and where do they go when they die...? Are you even certain we're real? You could just be mad!


    Noble Phantasm

    She is Greda. He is Kai. That is the Snow Queen... we are all one and yet we are all not. By fate we are bound. So begins...
    Sgeul na Banrigh Sneachda


    Type
    Anti-Self

    Rank
    B

    A crystallization of the Snow Queen's Tale itself. There are two sides to them. The fantasy and the reality. This noble phantasm however does not reflect this. Rather, as with her nature, there is an open fantasy and secret truth that are reflected in Snow Queen's Tale's dual noble phantasms. This noble phantasm reflects the fantasy that is accepted as truth about Snow Queen Tale.

    Without a true name relase Snow Queen's Tale remains as herself. This noble phantasm instead grants a very potent ability. It grants her ability to switch which essence is in control of the container. From Greda herself to the Snow Queen. In desperate situations even Nature or Demon Mirror will take control.

    In effect this acts as a combination of the skills All Kinds of Specializations and Self-Modification at A-rank. When an essence takes control they shift their parameters around to reflect the essence that is at the forefront and gain personal skills that the essence would have as a proper heroic spirit. In addition all essences can use one anothers armaments interchangably. In this instance this means the Robber Dagger, Golden Chariot, and Snow Queen's Chariot.

    Generally the Snow Queen, Witch, Kai, Nature, and Demon Mirror all have equal strength, lower endurance and agility, 2 ranks higher Mana, and lower luck than Gerda. Royalty tends to have slightly better strength but less endurance while Robber Girl is faster but has less mana and endurance. Finally Kai himself has higher mana but less luck. Animals has much higher strength but much less mana.

    Gerda will utilize the personal skills Endowed Maiden and Communion with Nature at A-rank and D-rank respectively. the former skill functions similar to Endowed Hero with the sole exception being that she can receive such aid even when not conscious. The latter skill grants her the ability to be understood by all anything with a soul while she can understand anything with a soul when it communicates to her.

    Kai on the other hand has the personal skills High-Speed Calculations and Bewitching Rosy Cheeks at B-rank and C-rank respectively. The former skill grants him calculative abilities rivaling computers at his rank while the latter skill makes him enticing and attractive to non-humans. Generally he shares Greda's parameters with the exception of his Luck and Mana parameters. The former is reduced to D-rank while the latter is raised to C-rank.

    Snow Queen has E-rank strength and endurance while having D-rank agility. In exchange she has A-rank mana and Luck. In addition she wields the personal skills Freezing Blizzard, Breath of the Planet, and High-Speed Divine Words at, respectively, A-rank, D-rank, and A-rank. The last skill grants her a powerful form of magecraft where mere thought is enough to enact it while the first skill allows her to generate a freezing blizzard around her that chills enemies to their bones and severely hinders their capabilities. The second skill simply acts as a way for her to replenish mana by absorbing power from the planet itself.

    Robber Girl has E-rank endurance and B-rank agility. However she also has the personal skills Golden Rule (Friendship) at C-rank. The skill grants her tremendous luck in making friendships and alliances though she must make a real effort to form them.

    Royalty has D-rank strength and endurance but gain the personal skills Charisma and Golden Rule at B and A rank respectively. The first denotes their natural charismatic ability to convince others and raise morale while the third skill allows them to gather wealth as extraordinary rates.

    Witch has E-rank endurance and B-rank mana. They also use the personal skills Magecraft. The former is a skill used to cast spells at a grade equivalent to long-lineage magus.

    Animals has the personal skill Beast Enhancement. It grants a full rank to their strength and endurance parameters and their mind becomes simple.. They have C-rank strength and agility but E-rank mana and D-rank luck

    Nature has a simple personal skill; Child of Nature at B-rank. So long as she is in a natural environment she can manipulate it to her ends and gains a full rank up to all of her parameters. She has B-rank mana, C-rank Luck, and D-rank endurance.

    Finally Demon Mirror. He has only one personal skill. 'Self-Reflection' at C-rank. It alters his parameters to match his opponents and also grants him a skill that is a distortion of his opponent. For example when faced with Percival he would gain a blessing with demonic origins that enhances his bloodthirsty nature. In terms of parameters his remain the same as always.

    When she true name invokes she can choose to summon one as a familiar. While they lack the strength of the container, having F rank for their parameters and their skill ranks are two lower but they retain them.

    However each gain a Mana Burst unique to them at C-rank. Kai gains Mana Burst (Void) which also reduces the opponents Mana parameter by 1 rank. Gerda, on the other hand, has Mana Burst (Light/Ancient) which empowers her master and any allies she wishes.

    Snow Queen utilizes Mana Burst (Ice) which lowers an opponents Agility and Mana parameters by 1 rank. Robber Girl meanwhile utilizes Mana Burst (Robbing) which lowers an enemies parameter or skill rank by one and raises a parameter or skill of her choice by one.

    Royalty themselves gain Mana Burst (Courage) which increases their offensive and defensive capabilities in combat from within rather than without. Meanwhile Animal has Mana Burst (Jump) which enhances his mobility and velocity by a significant margin.

    Witch simply has Mana Burst (Magecraft) which allows them to either enact their best spells as a single-action spell or, when combined with Magecraft, enact greater rituals with only four verses instead of ten. Nature meanwhile has Mana Burst (Average One) which is an elemental mana burst containing all elements and its strength cannot be resisted or altered unless the opponent is also an Average One.

    Demon Mirror himself has a unique form of Mana Burst. It is Mana Burst (Distortion). As the name implies he can inflict the personal skill 'Distortion' onto an enemy. However he cannot specifically pick the form it takes. Rather whatever would insult the enemy most is what occurs.



    ... It has come to this, huh? Well... then Greda it's up to you. Make us proud, you who completed...
    Ceist na Banrigh Shneachda


    Type
    Anti-Fate

    Rank
    EX

    A crystallization of Snow Queen's Tale. Not of the Real Fantasy that she normally is. This noble phantasm is not activated by the servant itself but by the combined essences except for Gerda, who strongly opposes its use. This is due to a single fact. In order to be even true name invoked, its only state, all essences must be seperated from the servant itself.

    When this is done the essences relocate around the city, entering random objects and people and animals dependent on their nature. They do not influence them other than treating Greda as a friend but avoiding them if it isn't time to meet. Fate will aid them in avoiding Greda so long as Greda should not be seeking them yet.

    After all this occurs Greda undergoes a change. Her true nature, still pure, comes out. One not of a simple maiden taken on a great journey by the forces that be. A girl who chose to walk that path and grew with the adversity she faced, all the while keeping the heart that was pure just that.

    In essence this noble phantasm rewrites the world itself to an extent to recreate the full forgotten legend as best as can be done without overwriting the world outright as it follows, to an extent, the rules of the world. When invoked fate is immediately overturned. Specifically any battles destined to happen, any deaths pre-determined are rewritten. Not so that she won't do them and won't die. Merely to ensure she can reach the end of her journey.

    This manifests as a few passive effects she gains immediately; Maiden of Journeys at A-rank. In addition she gains a rank to her Strength, Agility, and Mana. With these she not only has her own fate secured, she can overturn any fate forced upon her reliably. The only problem is she has no armaments starting out. While she can acquire some endowments to curb the problem they will break often.

    This is the point of her journey. It is to acquire her lost strength and reach the grail... or whatever the true goal of her summoning is. Yet this noble phantasm does not make it easy for in order to gain access to each essence and thus a boon she must complete an ordeal based on the forgotten tale she actually underwent.

    She must find the essences Animal, Witch, Nature, Royalty, Robber Girl, Snow Queen, Demon Mirror, and finall Kai in that order. After they are found and their ordeals completed they will become boons that she can utilize to fight in the war. These boons come in different forms.

    Animal becomes a mount for Greda named Xanathus. It appears as a large black stallion that is 10 feet tall. It is essentially immortal, recovering from any injury by the end of the day. It also operates under the effects of Instinct at A-rank. Witch becomes a cloak that cannot be destroyed and raises her Magic Resistance by 1 rank.

    Nature itself becomes a second mount, a phantasmal horse named Balius, that is gifted with the power of human speech. While not as imposing as its brother its intellect cannot be denied as it also possesses fairy eyes. Royalty themselves become a golden chariot that acts as her vehicle which is named A' Ceasnachadh and in addition to acting as a portable workshop the gold acts as a powerful defense against attacks. Even noble phantasms D-rank or lower will do nothing to it and up to B-rank are mitigated.

    Robber Girl becomes the knife she had and gave to Gerda as she left after staying with the bandits briefly as a goodbye present, named 'Taghadh Fiacail'. Snow Queen raises the rank of Divinity (False) by 1 rank.

    Demon Mirror grants Gerda the armament 'Gealach Sgàthan Reòta' which is a shield of unknown origin. Its primary effect is to act as her primary armament. Finally Kai gives her a full rank to all of her parameters and marks the end of her journey.

    In addition to the above, once she has Gealach Sgathan Reota she can utilize the shields true properties. It has two forms; Full Moon or New Moon. Both forms are A+ armaments and powerful defensive items but both have different effects.

    New Moon holds the captured image of the new moon within itself. This, in turn, has several effects. Firstly all magecraft directed at her has its rank reduced by 1 rank even if its a noble phantasm. Additionally such magecraft is redirected at her. It also acts as an attention grabber for servants with new moons in their legend but their attacks have a negative modifier applied.

    Full Moon holds the captured image of the full moon within itself. This, in turn, has several effects. The light it emits effects servants that have full moons in their legends as it normally would but it also grants her a plus modifier against those servants. Additionally any attack that would attack her has its image captured and she can use it against future attacks to repel, deflect, or even reflect them.

    As powerful as her noble phantasm is however it has a drastic, strong cost. The true end of her journey, beyond its 'end' is determined by the noble phantasm itself. Unlike other fate alteration effects she cannot completely overturn this one. At best she can make the fate bittersweet instead of tragic. Just like how it was in the forgotten tale.

    Essentially while she will complete her journey and achieve her goal she will do so at a heavy price. Either her own life or the life of someone dear. She has yet to discover what this truly means, since Kai is long dead... but she fears it. As such when this noble phantasm is active she tends to take her time, relying on the protection of it and her personal skills.


    Last edited by Baron Magnus; August 7th, 2022 at 02:45 PM. Reason: Added sources for pictures, which I forgot to do originally.
    Rookie Lorekeeper, Amateur Extraordinaire, and all around nasunoob.




  5. #4685
    死徒(下級)Lesser Dead Apostle Vance's Avatar
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    I was confused by the multitude of pictures at first but I think I get it now.

  6. #4686
    Not a day over sixty and with the eyes of a cornered ferret. WhiteFrenzy's Avatar
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    Jeez, we already have so much quality and this is only day 3.


    "James J. Kilroy": I absolutely adore this Servant, what a great opening act! (The Loid Forger FC is so fitting bless you for chosing him.) And yes, I know he's a boomer at heart but I can so see him browsing Reddit or 4chan... Then again, when your resumé includes things like "terrorized Nazis and Stalin alike" I think you're allowed to brag a little. It's amazing how you put so much effort in a meme-ish sheet, and unironically becomes something so good. I'm holding this one close to my heart.

    Extinction: Now, that's a creative idea... And a scary one, too. Just like El, what I loved the most about this one is how you went and adapted different extinction events into fearsome personal skills. I thought her personality would be edgy and all that, but she's unexpectedly wholesome in her guilt? I enjoyed this small detail.

    William Henry Harrison: I thought this man was an absolute riot during his GaS debut, and it didn't change at all here. He's amazing. Royd, you can't keep getting away with this, creating such cool characters and making us all fall in love! Anyway, I love how he's such a... Boisterous creature. Of course, he's American. And I love that he has a Skill that basically makes him so forgettable that he becomes invisible LMAO. You hate him, admit it. But yes, this is another banger from you, my liege, and I'm so glad he exists.


    Snow Queen's Tale: AYO. This is a big sheet with a lot of pictures and a lot of characters, by the looks of it. I will most definitely keep this one for tomorrow's batch... But I'm already excited.

    Bäckerhexe Mutter: There's two other sheets I need to read to get her (I KNOW I KNOW a sheet should stand on its own just like a book, but I want to have some context anyway), so I want to apologize if I can't properly comment on her right now. Imma get back at you soon!
    ——————
    WHITEFRENZY'S
    servants | masters
    —————

  7. #4687
    Not a day over sixty and with the eyes of a cornered ferret. WhiteFrenzy's Avatar
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    Day 6 and activity has been halted, everyone is so quiet... I'm scared of what they're cooking.
    While they don't drop more bombs though, I guess Imma just finish my reviews then.



    Snow Queen's Tale: "Man, these guys must hate Elsa" is all I could think of. I'M SO SORRY, THIS WAS SUCH A SERIOUS SHEET AND I COULDN'T STOP. This and that Gelda must look like that dude from the Split movie to the others. But really, this is such an ambitious idea that could have gone so wrong. Instead, I think it's like an acquired taste, the more you read it the more you get yourself thinking "huh... This is neat???" and that's great. I... I wasn't sure at first but turns out I liked this entry very much? Maybe I need to undergo my own journey too, like Gerda, in order to understand what exactly tickled my fancy in this sheet.

    Bäckerhexe Mutter: Yes, I read every sheet. Yes, I enjoyed this maddening progress very, very much. Yes, she's waifu... Even when she's every evil stepmother ever (?) I DON'T CARE sue me, I'd main her. Anyway, this is exactly what I expected from you Vance: something bittersweet, so short that it makes me salivate for more, and yet it fills me to the brim. Something with so much personality packed into a neat character, I could never. And it's always a big plus to have that primal fear of OH MAN SHE COULD BE A BEAST UNDER DIFFERENT CIRCUMSTANCES HUH instilled into me. Thank you for that.
    ——————
    WHITEFRENZY'S
    servants | masters
    —————

  8. #4688
    夜属 Nightkin Drangle's Avatar
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    Top Level Creator Notes
    Remember when I said I wouldn't do any "political" sheets for a while? I think it's been a while since then.


    "Greetings, Comrade Master! Rest easy, for you are now having the heaven-piercing might of the motherland in your corner! COSMO... BEAM!"

    Under the Helmet, Roughly
    Class: Voyager
    Other Classes: Rider
    Alignment: Socialist Good
    Place of Origin: U.S.S.R.

    Parameters
    STR: C
    END: C
    AGI: EX
    MGI: E
    LCK: A

    Likes: Their country, speed, unity, freedom
    Dislikes: Capitalism, negative thinking, animal cruelty
    Natural Enemy: Thomas Edison, Neil Armstrong, Assassin of Learning with Manga
    Attribute: Star
    Traits: Animal Characteristics, Unknown Gender, Wild Beast, Weak to Enuma Elish
    Armament: Retrofuturistic ray guns, claws and teeth
    Catalyst: Metal from various Soviet spacecraft.

    Class Skills
    Independent Navigation B:
    A measure of how far a Servant can stray from their Master and still maintain a connection of mana, rather than how long they can persist without that connection. Scales with how "far" the Servant journeyed in life. As one who reached orbital space, they have a high rank, though others have even higher ranks.

    Riding B-:
    An inverse of the usual application, Voyager’s proficiency with modern vehicles translates into skill with riding mounts, rather than the other way around. They are markedly less skilled with animals than they are with machines, and incapable of handling anything more exceptional than a horse.

    Personal Skills
    Pioneer of the Stars EX:
    A Skill denoting a Heroic Spirit as a turning point in human history. One who can conquer any challenge, navigate any voyage, one who achieves the “impossible”. No Servant could be more deserving of this skill. Except perhaps Neil Armstrong, maybe. I suppose.

    "Bahaha, anything possible under socialist utopia, Master!"

    Glorious Unification B+:
    A Skill similar to Combination. Multiple Spirits inhabiting the same “container” due to close association. However, due to the overwhelming spirit of communist solidary involved in the union, they manifest as a singular being, thus giving them their odd appearance. Only one Servant has this skill at a higher rank.

    "OUR Class Container, comrade."

    Swingby B:
    A skill for utilizing astrophysical mechanics to maneuver in 3D space. By utilizing gravitational fields and inertia, impossibly sharp turns at incredible speeds may be achievable by siphoning momentum and potential energy. A Skill normally reserved for unmanned spacecraft.

    Noble Phantasm
    Off We Go, Beyond Humanity's Boundaries!
    Poyekhali, Vostok!
    Anti-Gravity Type, Rank A

    The power of one who has pushed past fundamental forces to enter once-inconceivable frontiers. Or rather, the power of several.

    When activated, Voyager chooses a direction and a speed. After moment to charge the thrusters of their jetpack, they will accelerate almost instantaneously to that velocity. Additionally, once that speed is reached, no force can slow that speed for the Noble Phantasm's duration. Drag, friction, gravity. Even most physical obstruction buckles from the sheer force of Soviet ingenuity. In essence, a Noble Phantasm of reaching a destination no matter what.

    The technique requires astonishing amounts of magical energy to sustain, and has a top speed around 40,000 km/h. As such, it is best used in short bursts. Changes in angular momentum are possible, but require a capacity for advanced on-the-fly physics calculations to execute effectively. A talent which Voyager certainly had.

    Due to a quote by Nikita Khrushchev about the flight, commonly misattributed to Voyager's primary component, this Noble Phantasm is marginally more effective against targets with Divinity.

    Lore
    The 1950’s and 1960’s were a time of geopolitical tension called the Cold War. Two global superpowers wanted to prove that their system of running things was good and just, and the other one was objectively evil. But they couldn’t “go to war” with each other because they both had nuclear weapons. So they instead competed bloodlessly. Sports, espionage, culture, propaganda. Every aspect of life was reworked into an intangible battlefield in an unarmed war between communism and capitalism.

    July of 1957. The United States of America announces plans to launch a satellite into orbit. Shortly thereafter, the United Soviet Socialist Republics announces the same mission. This marks the beginning of what would quickly become known as the Space Race, the crown jewel of thee two countries’ fascination with demonstrating superiority.

    October of 1957. Sputnik 1 becomes the first manmade satellite. Americans experience a surge of panic and anxiety at the news, worried that the Soviets are maybe onto something. Goalposts were moved, and both countries set their sights higher.

    November of 1957. The first terrestrial mammal to orbit the earth does so aboard the Sputnik 2. A stray mutt scooped off the streets of Moscow by the name Laika would be granted this honor, and her reward would be dying before the vessel began reentry due to shoddy life support system. No matter. She was orbiting earth, at least for a moment. Decades later the lead scientist of the project would be apologetic with grief at how cruel and pointless it was, but in the moment, it was simply one more point for Team Commie.

    January of 1959. Luna 1, another Soviet device, becomes the first manmade anything to fully escape Earth’s orbit and enter heliocentric orbit.

    August of 1959. A NASA satellite takes what is technically the first picture of Earth from space. It looks like little more than a blurry white smear on a black canvas, but the Americans need something they can call a win. One month later, the Soviets are the first to land something on the moon. One month after that, they’re the first to take pictures of the dark side of the moon.

    August of 1960. The Soviets send a living thing in to space and bring it back alive and unharmed. Several living things, in fact. Plants, fungi, flies, rats, and most prominently, two more dogs. At the same time, the Americans launch the first spy satellites. Or at the very least, what they believe to be the first spy satellites.

    Late January of ’61. America sends a chimpanzee named Number 65 into space and retrieve him safely. They count this as a step up from Belka and Strelka because primates are closer to humans than dogs. Number 65 would be named Ham the Astrochimp after the fact. They weren’t 100% confident in the spacecraft, and “Nameless Monkey Dies in Rocket Explosion” would have been a much less demoralizing headline for the American people than the alternative.

    April of 1961. True history is made. Yuri Gagarin becomes not only the first man in space, but the first man in orbit. For 108 minutes he was as much a satellite as the moon before coming back down to Earth alive. He had broken the barrier and would be awarded the Hero of the Soviet Union title. Later, Americans would kick up a big fuss about putting a man on the moon, but this story isn’t about any of that.

    March of 1968, well over a year before anyone would land on the moon. Gagarin, long since retired from cosmic affairs and content to soar in the lower atmosphere, receives faulty information during what should have been a routine training flight, and the crash ends his life. He is shortly thereafter, from his perspective, welcomed into the Throne for his monumental accomplishment. But as he is approaching, he notices the Phantoms, existing outside the Throne like an asteroid belt.

    And he sees faces he recognizes. Three little dogs, huddled together. Dogs he’d seen on stamps. Dogs who paved the way for his own legendary flight. These were his predecessors, these were his colleges.

    These were his comrades. And he refused to move an inch closer to the Throne if it meant leaving those poor things out in the cold.

    True Name Details
    Voyager’s True Name, essentially, is the Soviet Space Programme, abbreviated as CCCP. They are a conglomeration of Soviet Russia's numerous victories in the Space Race. Roughly, their spirit origin is 50% Yuri Gagarin, 15% each of the dogs Laika, Belka, and Strelka, and 5% Sputnik 1.

    As a human being, Gagarin is the dominant force of personality. However, sharing a body with three dog minds has a few side effects, including a detriment to eloquence. Since their technically accurate true name is a bit of a mouthful, they also go by Yuri for ease of communication, and has also shown fondness for the nickname Space Racer. Since all the dogs are female, Yuri considers themself a gender neutral entity overall.

    Supposedly, Alexei Leonov and Valentina Tereshkova were both approached to join the Spirit Origin, but declined, saying it was "already pretty crowded".

    Relationships
    Thomas Alva Edison: “Ahaha… Bwahahaha!! Ah, but of course! When silly capitalist man turned into symbol of American regime, he become cute mewling kitten next to the lupine might of the motherland! Good to see Throne have sense of humor.”

    Ivan the Terrible (Lostbelt): "He look much different than history books. Not that I am one to talk, heh. He does get this strange sadness in voice whenever he sees me without my helmet, though..."

    Hessian Lobo: "Big dog with headless man was very... apprehensive of me to begin with, yes. But now we are comrades, very friendly!"

    Voyager: "Ah... What an inspiring story. All nations of world uniting under flag of mankind. Brings tear to my eye... He represent future of space exploration."

    Tchaikovsky: "Ah, the great composer. I think we could have an interesting conversation of Russian political history, but he seems to think I am, how you say, 'too much'. Lady with him think so too, whoever she is..."

    Snow Queen's Tale: "Goodness gracious, and here I thought *I* was complicated..."

    "Hachiko": Seeing him, CCCP yips and howls with enthusiasm. Some sentiments don't need words.

    O-O-O: "Oh, my apologies. I had no idea you were a lady! Next I pass by on way to stars, I give you a wave, da?"

    "Lady Mondegreen": "Axахаха! Человечеству больше не нужны башни, чтобы достичь небес! Так жаль!"

    Unknown Soldier: CCCP can only sigh with deep sympathy and salute.

    Arthur C. Clarke: "Ah... I remember you. Preferred Asimov, but still, can recognize talent. Looks like you've been through the ringer, though. Well, for what it's worth, your vision of Space Age came true thanks to glory of Soviet engineering! Aaand also, other countries, later."

    FGO Kit For Fun
    CCCP would manifest as a Rider class, due to the absence of the Voyager class mechanically and the ill fit of Foreigner.

    Glorious Unification B+ grant a small self heal, a stack of Nullify Debuff on the party, and an Attack Up buff to Russian allies, including themselves.

    Swingby B, as with Voyager (Foreigner), grants a 1 turn Evade, 3 turns Quick+ to self, and 3 turns Quick Res- to target.

    Pioneer of the Stars EX, as always, is a 50% NP battery with +10 crit stars and 3 turns of Ignore Invincible.

    They have a BBAQQ deck. Their animations are as follows:

    Buster, far from the enemy: A jetpack-propelled right hook, closing the distance.
    Buster, up close: Jet upwards, then jet back downward with an elbow drop.
    Arts: Shot from from a retrofuturistic raygun which makes an electrified plasma explosion on impact.
    Quick, far from enemy: A pulsing yellow beam is shot from the star-shaped emblem on the chest.
    Quick, up close: Two punches, a jab, and a headbutt, OR three two claw swipes and two bites, depending on the ascension.
    Extra: Plants a USSR flag into enemy and salutes. Parachute deploys, yanking them backwards just as a Vostok re-entry module crash lands on the enemy.

    CCCP's Noble Phantasm is a Quick AoE. It applies Quick+ and Quick NP Gen+ to self before jetting in high-speed circles around the enemies, lifting them into the air by generating a cyclone, before screeching to a halt, firing up their thrusters and blasting off into the enemies at escape velocity. Deals extra damage to Divine targets.

    Bottom Level Creator Notes
    Yuri's been done before. I bet even Laika and Sputnik have been done before. But I think this is a new take.

    My original idea, a long time ago, was for Yuri and Laika to share a Spirit Origin, but more like Anne & Mary. However, once i got the idea of an anti-Edison in my mind, I couldn't get it out. It's not as flashy or as emotional as some of my other sheets, but I like it.
    Last edited by Drangle; August 20th, 2022 at 03:19 PM. Reason: addition of relationship lines

  9. #4689
    祖 Ancestor
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    Should have included a relation to that Gagarin sheet by kamera and laika sheet by desreploid.

  10. #4690
    Knight of Excess HumanComplex's Avatar
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    @pinetree

    Would a Lostbelt servant count? It should fit the prompt by definition, but since there was already an Lostbelt contest ages ago, I'm not sure if I should go with my idea at hand.

  11. #4691
    Your average angst/edge supplier BnEl15's Avatar
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    Not Pine, but there's no rule that says your entries can't overlap with past prompts (by that logic no one here can ever do Sabers again lol), so long as you don't just, y'know... copy-paste the same sheet on two different prompts.

  12. #4692
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six pinetree's Avatar
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    Yeah, I don't think overlaping themes matters.

  13. #4693
    Knight of Excess HumanComplex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BnEl15 View Post
    Not Pine, but there's no rule that says your entries can't overlap with past prompts (by that logic no one here can ever do Sabers again lol), so long as you don't just, y'know... copy-paste the same sheet on two different prompts.
    Didn't mean it in the general sense, but just wanted to confirm if the prompt allowed specific themes within an extremely broad one, unlike how Sabers and regular classes would be considered broad, while Lostbelt servants are just niche alt history servants.

  14. #4694
    You Are Going to Brazil Wyvern's Avatar
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    The Divine Steed

    “I ask you. Are you my Rider?”

    Profile
    Class
    Other Classes
    Allignment
    Rider
    None
    True Neutral
    Height / Weight
    Region
    Source
    2.5m / 300kg
    Greece
    Greek Mythology
    Likes



    “Carrots are good. Apples are better. Never tried flesh, not that kinda horse. Heard that horses these days get sweets as rewards. Mind fetching me some of those… sugar cubes.”
    Dislikes



    “I’m the fastest horse in the world. If you wear one of those damn boots near me, I’m trampling you, got it?”

    Attribute
    Traits
    Earth
    Riding, Servant, Weak to Enuma Elish, Wild Beast
    Parameters
    STR
    B
    AGI
    A
    END
    B
    MA
    D
    LUK
    D
    NP
    A+
    Background

    Arion the swift.

    Arion the black-maned.

    Steed of Heroes.

    The son of Demeter, who took flight from Poseidon in the form of a mare, only to be followed by the man in the form of a stallion. Thus was born an immortal horse, the greatest amongst its kind who would freely run throughout Ancient Greece, accumulating glory as the mount of multiple heroes, kings, and villains alike.

    The winner of the first Nemean Games.

    The mount of the Great Hero Heracles.

    Arion was, in essence, just as heroic a figure as the demigods and kings of old. For he wasn’t limited to just one rider, but rather possessed many, and each time achieved something great as part of their partnership. Be it defeating a Son of the War God, or saving his rider’s life from certain death after a failed military campaign.

    Just as Bucephalus and Red Hare, Arion can manifest by himself as a heroic spirit.

    Though his case is markedly different.

    Rather, one could consider him to be an autonomous Noble Phantasm missing a Hero to ride upon his back. For Arion considered all of his Riders as deserving of praise as the other, he refuses to choose from amongst the many in the Throne who were his partners and instead seeks further glory by finding a new one.

    As such, the one who rides Arion will find themselves filling up the position of ‘Rider’ in any given Holy Grail War.

    After all, Arion is the horse.

    He can’t be the Rider.

    Personality

    Steadfast.

    Ambitious.

    A true perfectionist.

    Arion demands nothing but the best Riders. He suffers neither incompetence nor stupidity from those sitting on his back and has a great fascination with the riders of other mythical horses. Scoffing at the idea that any legendary
    mount could be as great as himself, who supported many heroes in the past.

    His favorite pastime is horse racing.

    His favorite foods are carrots and sugar cubes. Something he envies modern horses for is how their training and treatment has become increasingly better after the centuries. Of course, he would hide this jealousy by scoffing and calling modern steeds lazy noble kids who lack the wildness necessary to support a true hero.

    Even if their saddles look very comfortable.

    As far as Heroic Spirits are concerned, Arion doesn’t care about the Holy Grail, nor does he have a wish for it. Rather, his wish is to participate and win the competition alongside a new Rider. Defeating other great heroes to increase his own standing amongst legendary horses.

    In this way, he acts as a coach to the Rider.

    The one who summons him obviously ends up receiving the position, but Arion isn’t limited in how many people he can carry or whether he can team up with other heroes to achieve his goal. So long as he is involved in the winning team, he will be satisfied. Though he cannot bear to have another horse’s rider. That qualifies as being unfaithful and infringing on another horse’s partnership.

    Class Skills

    Riding EX

    Horse riding comes naturally to Arion. Of course it would, he is a horse. Ironically giving him the skill and knowledge to drive other vehicles doesn’t do much for him, though it allows the divine steed to drive around other forms of transportation as if they were chariots without losing any speed. One could tie him to a tank, and he would be able to haul it around as easily as he would anything else.
    The ultimate towing service.


    Increases own Quick performance by 12%.


    Independent Action C

    A peculiar case for the Rider Class, Arion possesses the ability to act independently from his Master. So long as he views them as his latest partner, he will have the time to go out and look for another rider, be it a Master or Servant. Due to his unique nature as a Horse without a partner, that gives him some freedom when it comes to moving without a Master’s back up.


    Increases own critical damage by 6%.


    Divinity A

    An immortal horse, the child of both Demeter and Poseidon. Although not a god in his own right, Arion can be considered a Divine Beast on the same level as the Pegasus which Poseidon gifted to Medusa. While in theory he could have ascended to the Throne of Gods in life, Arion preferred to remain in a world where ‘the number of partners’ was greater. No matter how many gods he could have teamed up with, there would always be more humans to try.


    Increases own damage by 200.


    Magic Resistance B

    Grants protection against magical effects. Differing from the Resistance effect that merely rejects Magical Energy, this ability cancels the spells. Cancel spells with a chant below three verses. Even if targeted by greater magecraft and Greater Rituals, it is difficult for them to be affected.


    Increases own debuff resistance by 17.5%.

    Personal Skills

    Thousand Mile Sprint EX

    A horse runs. It is the most natural thing in the world. And Arion is the swiftest horse of ancient greece. Boundless energy that allows him to travel for long periods of time and over great distances. The skill is also effective in temporarily raising AGI parameters or increasing END and STR parameters when sprinting.


    Increases own Quick performance (3 attacks / 5 turns)
    Increases own critical star generation rate (3 attacks / 5 turns)


    Mana Burst (Leap) C

    A horse jumps. It is the most natural thing in the world. And Arion is the strongest horse of ancient greece. Though he lacks the… versatility associated with the skill, Arion more than makes up for it by increasing the length of his leaps in a single direction while taking more time between each jump. He could, in a single leap, make it to the top of a skyscraper. Though that is the maximum he can achieve before needing a rest of ten minutes.


    Grants self Evasion (1 turn)
    Increases own NP Gauge (30%)


    Legend of Rider

    The skill to cause the birth of a hero. Arion is associated with many different legendary figures, to the point one must wonder if they didn’t become as famous as they did because of Arion’s involvement. In this way, any person who rides atop Arion gains the attributes of a heroic figure regardless of who they might be. If they happen to be a Heroic Spirit themselves, that will further boost their parameters, while those who are human will gain the attributes of a hero worthy of riding Arion.


    Increases one ally's attack for 3 turns.
    Increases their Quick performance for 3 turns.
    Increases their Max HP for 3 turns.
    Increases their critical damage for 1 turn.

    Noble Phantasm
    Nemea Hippios: First Champion, Bearer of Heroes
    Anti-Unit / Rank C

    Arion is a horse.

    No matter how you cut it, it is those who ride atop him who are destined for greatness. Even if you remove Arion from his partners and summon him individually, there is still going to be a void space left where ‘something’ should be. Someone who makes up the other half of the Rider heroic spirit.

    This Noble Phantasm represents the story how Arion once was startled into throwing his rider off his back, but still managed to win the race. Receiving glory, but not victory. As he crossed the finish line alone. When summoned by himself, Arion gains the ability to seek out and find a new Rider, thus passing onto him all of his inherent attributes and abilities. As if Arion himself was but a part of that new Rider’s body.

    When these conditions have been fulfilled, Arion becomes capable of performing a full on charge attack, similar to the one which can be used by those riding atop it’s half-brother, Pegasus. Though it lacks the Anti-Army properties, such a charge would push Arion’s agility to their limit.

    A bullet rather than a missile.

    So long as an individual is mounted atop Arion, they will receive all boons that Arion himself does, and fight with his physical parameters. However, that is as far as Arion’s ability goes. If the rider possesses no fighting skill of their own, they will receive no addition knowledge on how to fight.

    Demeter Blessing: Favor of the Earth Goddess
    Anti-Unit (Self) / Rank A

    No obstacle in land may obstruct Arion.

    No creature of the land may injure Arion.

    Not once has it been recorded that Arion the Divine Horse has been injured or bested while in-land. A blessing similar to that of Ambrosia, the Authority of the Goddess Demeter. Arion cannot be exhausted in-land. Nor can he be injured so long as his feet touch the ground. A power continuous-type Noble Phantasm, it is similar to the Protection of the Land of the Giant Antaeus, who is Arion’s half-brother.

    This protection may be circumvented by being who possess similar abilities or the authority of an Earth God.
    It also stops working for the brief moments when Arion isn’t touching the floor. Such as the high leaps he can perform through the use of his Mana Burst. But his speed means that one must hit Arion just as he leaves the floor, otherwise he will become an unreachable blur.


    Recovers own HP (5 turns)
    Charges own NP gauge (5% / 5 turns)

    Poseidon Blessing: Favor of the Sea God
    Anti-Unit (Self) / Rank A

    No obstacle at sea may obstruct Arion.

    No creature of the sea may injure Arion.

    Not once has it been recorded that Arion the Divine Horse has been injured or bested while at. A blessing similar to the one granted by his Father to the Hero Caeneus. Arion cannot be exhausted in water. Nor can he be injured so long as his feet touch the water. A power continuous-type Noble Phantasm. A protection which spreads even to Arion’s rider, as they assume the same position of Poseidon, who was Arion’s original rider.

    This protection may be circumvented by being who possess similar abilities or the authority of a Sea God.

    It also stops working for the brief moments when Arion isn’t touching the water. Such as the high leaps he can perform through the use of his Mana Burst. But his speed means that one must hit Arion just as he leaves the sea, otherwise he will become an unreachable blur. Although, that means that the rider will but invincible should they be mounting Arion while atop water.


    Grants Invincibility (1 turn)
    Increases defense (3 turns)
    Removes debuffs.


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    夜魔 Nightmare NittyGritty's Avatar
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    yugioh fc bias

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    死徒(下級)Lesser Dead Apostle TQG Imaginatorious's Avatar
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    Not once has it been recorded that Arion the Divine Horse has been injured or bested while at_. A blessing similar to the one granted by his Father to the Hero Caeneus.
    Noticed a missing word at the underscore, Wyvern. Also, nice sheet but where is the unusual summoning part? I might be blind but I don't see any part that fits the "Servants who, for one reason or another, didn't get summoned as they should."

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    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six pinetree's Avatar
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    Reviews for everyone until now!
    Forgive my typos, I wrote everything in quick succession and I'm too lazy to proofread it all.


    BnEl15's Watcher Kilroy
    Spoiler:
    While your Watcher os Memes was a great sheet, I think the idea of making a sheet out of memes worked much better in this one, mostly due to the focus on a single meme. The skills and the lore are well written and interesting. The NP is fine but didn't excite me much, I'd have preferred something leaning more into the memetic side of it rather than the spy side (that said, I don't really know how you could've accomplished that while maintaining the theme).


    A big criticsm though: his personality and his lines are really boring. Conceptually, he's fine, but the Bond CE did more to get me to like him as a character than any of his lines. Usually your strength as a writer is in the abundance of lines in-between the sheet, but either you missed the mark on this one or I'm just not that interested in the super spy persona. Maybe both.


    That said, the sheet was still engaging otherwise, so this is less of a major flaw, it's just really noticeable because you are you.




    jishara's Assassin Extinction
    Spoiler:
    I'll echo BnEl's comment in that I enjoyed how you adapted each of the extinction events into skills, but the NP is a big miss.
    But even beyond that, the sheet just lacks personality. Sure, you don't need more than a paragraph to explain the concept of Extinction, but you certainly need more than that to convince me that such a thing being personified fits the role of a Heroic Spirit. The idea of a Servant having a personality opposite to their pupose is fine, but if you don't delve into the reasons as to why she feels that way at all, it just falls flat.
    (Edit: I didn't notice you changed your NP, but I don't think the new one us much more interesting either)


    Additionally, maybe I missed it, but what's unusual about her summoning?




    RoydGolden's Faker "Zero"
    Spoiler:
    Honestly, this is the kind of sheet I usually wouldn't comment on. It's executed effectively and has a few interesting ideas, but there's nothing in it that pushes it beyond that.
    The faker reveal specially felt underwhelming. There's no buildup to it at all, just a link at the end of the NP.
    I'm not expecting huge editing tricks or clever collapsing or anything like that, but there has to be at least some effort putting into setting up the reveal, shifting the tone, foreshadowing the second identity, anything like that. Specially when the two sheets are so different from one another.




    Vance's Pretender Bäckerhexe Mutter
    Spoiler:
    The entire sheet feels very reliant on previous stuff you've written, VERY reliant. As she is everything from her personality, to her lore, to her fitting into the contest's theme feels underdeveloped.
    I have no idea who this figure is, so I have no idea how much this supposedly absurd version of Innocent Monster changed her, not do I understand why she's a Pretender.
    Ideally, all that's need to enjoy a sheet would be in the sheet itself, but if it is reliant on previous ones to understand and enjoy, the least you could do is make them easily available by linking the relevant posts.
    The NP is cool and brings some very fun scenarios to mind, but everything else feels undercooked. Even beyond what I mentioned previously, you very briefly allude to some relation between Demons and her Innocent Monster, but it's so small that I'm left wondering if the choice of words is a coincidence and I'm just imagining things.




    Baron Magnus's Alter-Ego Snow Queen's Tale
    Spoiler:
    I feel like this sheet is dragged down by the amount of detail and by not commiting to focusing on either mechanics or narrative.


    I like that you tried to include every one of the characters, but their personalities barely register because they are separates by walls of text describing different skills and ranks in a level of detail that simply isn't necessary.
    There are sheets who focus on the mechanical aspect of things, but it's hard to find cool sinergies between or skills or imagine interesting applciations of them when by the end of Maiden of Journeys I already forgot all that Curse of the Mirror entailed.
    And for all the rank and skill detail that you included, there's a severe lack of justification. I could understand if she had Innocent Monster and High-Servant innately due to her concept, but why is it part of Curse of the Mirror? Was she summoned like this because of the mirror? It immediately got me thinking that the spirits fused with her would be twisted depictions created by the Mirror, but it's nothing of the sort. It feels more like you just included them there just to lower the apparent number of skills she has.
    The abundance of different abilities just decharacterizes her too much. Everything feels disconnected from her beyond the title of each bundle of skills.
    Furthermore, you end the sheet with two very narrative-focused NPs, and they come in stark contrast with the rest of it all. The supposed journey she goes through come and goes in this last section making it feel disconnected from the rest of the sheet, since it really lacked this sense of character progression you wanted to impart here.


    Overral, good writing that kept me going until the end, but coud have been improved a lot by cutting down a ton of info and making it more concise.




    Drangle's Voyager CCCP
    Spoiler:
    Fun sheet. It didn't impress me much until the interactions, those are pretty funny. Made me wish there was some interaction like that throughout the sheet though, maybe interactions between the parts of them would've given it more personality.
    Gagarin's arrival on the throne was surprisingly poingnant, and I really like that you explained why they were summoned like this. It's the theme of the contest, after all!




    Wyvern's Rider Arion
    Spoiler:
    His Riding is a super fun take on the skill and did a lot to endear me to the concept. I like his personality and the justification given to him not becoming a Divine Spirit, even though no one would've expected a horse to choose anyway. His first two personal skills are very cool too, I especially like the anti-synergy between Mana Burst (Leap) and his NPs, adds a level of strategy in battle that is built into the character.


    I don't get the point of Legend of Rider though, seeing as his first NP does exactly that.
    I fact, I don't see why the first it's an NP at all, especially when the effects are the opposite of the legend you choose to associate it to.


    Three NPs is just too much for some horse, I don't think he deserves more than one, or maybe not even that, since HE'S the Noble Phantasm. Feels like a missed opportunity that you mention him being an autonomous NP and then does nothing with that concept.


    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by TQG Imaginatorious View Post
    Noticed a missing word at the underscore, Wyvern. Also, nice sheet but where is the unusual summoning part? I might be blind but I don't see any part that fits the "Servants who, for one reason or another, didn't get summoned as they should."
    I think it's the fact that it's a Noble Phantasm being summoned by itself.
    Last edited by pinetree; August 8th, 2022 at 11:22 AM.

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    死徒(下級)Lesser Dead Apostle TQG Imaginatorious's Avatar
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    So just like Bucephalus and Red Hare who is also another Servant's NP but can also be summoned as its own individual Servant? Still don't fit, I think.

  19. #4699
    You Are Going to Brazil Wyvern's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TQG Imaginatorious View Post
    So just like Bucephalus and Red Hare who is also another Servant's NP but can also be summoned as its own individual Servant? Still don't fit, I think.
    He is not his own proper servant is what I was trying to get at. He is a failed Rider summon where only the Horse came and the Master has to play the role of 'Rider'. Also, Red Hare still has the part where he is a fake Lu Bu, and we've never seen Bucephalus summoned as its own servant. The only time he did appear was when Iskandar used his Reality Marble. I'm going with the concept of 'mount summoned without their rider'.

    He wasn't summoned as he should be, and all his Skills and NPs are features that he should have AS a Noble Phantasm.

  20. #4700
    死徒(下級)Lesser Dead Apostle TQG Imaginatorious's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wyvern View Post
    He is not his own proper servant is what I was trying to get at. He is a failed Rider summon where only the Horse came and the Master has to play the role of 'Rider'. Also, Red Hare still has the part where he is a fake Lu Bu, and we've never seen Bucephalus summoned as its own servant. The only time he did appear was when Iskandar used his Reality Marble. I'm going with the concept of 'mount summoned without their rider'.

    He wasn't summoned as he should be, and all his Skills and NPs are features that he should have AS a Noble Phantasm.
    Ohhhhhh, when you put it like that I get it then.

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