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Thread: Monthly Create-A-Servant Contest

  1. #5221
    祖 Ancestor Vididii's Avatar
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    Foreward Notes One more before the deadline!
    A huge thanks to DelRey for his creation of the Binder class, and his blessing to create a sheet for it. Hope it's at least somewhat up to your standards.


    Binder of Temporal Cognition
    Conductor of the Holy Rail War



    Class: Binder
    Other Classes: Rider, Caster
    True Name: Sir Sanford Fleming
    Alignment: Lawful Good
    Region: Scotland, Canada
    Source: Historical Fact


    Parameters:

    STR: D
    END: C
    AGI: D
    MGI: C+
    LCK: D

    "I do apologies for my lack of inherent strength- I'm more of a traveler, less of a warrior."

    Height: 6'2" (7'5"-ish with hat)
    Weight: 168 lbs
    Likes: Hiking, traveling on railways, children (even if they aren't his own), the outdoors
    Dislikes: Tardiness, "Mr. Bones"
    Talent: Cartography, designing Bridges
    Natural Enemy: Heracles (We still don't know how he broke those chains)
    Attribute: Human
    Armament: Railroad Spike and Pocketwatch kusarigama, chains
    Catalyst: A Railroad spike from any point on the Canadian Pacific Railway

    Class Skills:
    Binding and Fettering: D+
    Forged chains. Binder establishes a network of connections with his as a focal point.
    Attacks from Binder create tethers that drain Magical Energy and lower Parameters from the opponent, which are then distributed among his allies. The higher the rank, the more Parameter can be stolen, the higher the duration and range of these tethers.
    At D rank, the skill allows him to, "steal one Parameter, each rank adding one more Parameter to his allies", and as the man who ended up tethering the world into a lattice of temporal perception, he naturally lowers Agility.

    "As I managed the speed at which the world progressed, I now manage yours- kindly, do hear what I have to say. If you break out, I can always just create more."

    Independent Action: C
    A Class skill of both Archer and Binder- the ability to remain independent even when rejecting the Magical Energy supply from one's Master; the ability that allows for action even in the absence of the Master.
    As an accomplished surveyor, going on multiple expeditions in life, Binder often had to forge his own path and find his won way through the wilderness, achieving a decent rank in this skill.

    Personal Skills:
    Surveyor: A
    The ability to properly map and record one's surrounding area. It functions as a passive radar of sorts, giving Binder a mental topographical map of the area, as well as recording the size and location of structures and other notably large objects in the area. At A rank, Binder's range of effect is half an acre in radius. He can recall the records procured with this skill instantaneously, provided they were created in his current period of summoning. It's range is cut in half if he moves in a vehicle cut off by windows however, as he needs to, "personally experience the terrain". Horses, Motorcycles, Convertibles, those are fine though.

    "I travelled all across Canada, creating maps and routes for progress to follow- do you know they named a mountain range after me? Yes, I was that prolific!"

    Immigrant: C
    A skill born from Fleming's designation as a Canadian of great renown, and historical pride, despite not moving to the country until the age of 18. It represents his ability to achieve greatness, success and happiness, in a land that is not naturally his own.
    The effect of Immigrant is similar to territory infringement, allowing him to enter bounded fields and reality marbles, while ignoring or resisting their negative effects, corresponding to the rank at which they equate to being lower, or equal/higher respectively.
    This skill is also the reason why his region is listed under both Canada and Scotland

    "A man can't ever forget his roots, even if he finds happiness and success in another land. Without my learning in Scotland, I could have never done what I did. I hold both countries near and dear to my heart."

    Passenger: D
    A skill similar to Riding, with the key difference of not being able to inherently control or operate vehicles- instead, he gains a small boost to his parameters when riding on any sort of transportation.
    It is a skill bestowed upon him as a man who built and charted grand railways across Canada, but never really drove the trains himself.

    "For a fellow who worked with trains, I was the wrong sort of Engineer! Never drove, only rode- but if I wasn't a passenger, there's a chance I could have never been inconvenienced into creating our current method of worldly scheduling. I suppose I was the right sort all along, ahaha!"

    Noble Phantasm(s):

    Longitude and Time Reckoning
    Anti-Time
    Rank B
    "I suggest you get to the proper car to use that skill of yours- time is of my essence here."
    Named after one of his two papers proposing the system of time zones to the Canadian Institute in Toronto, LaTR splits Binder's surveyed area from west to east, into 24 "Timezones" in an equal vertical split if viewed from above. In the affected area, LaTR disables all time based skills and Noble Phantasms, unless used in the zone corresponding to their allotted usage or cooldown.
    For instance, Gawain's Numeral of The Saint would only take effect in areas 3 (the titular numeral), 9, 10, 11, 15, 16, and 17 (The corresponding hours of the day when it activates). If there was a NP that could be used "once daily", it would only be able to be used in area 24, due to a day having 24 hours, while one that could be used, "every 5 minutes" would be relegated to area 1, as it clocks in at under an hour. By exiting the area where an ability is allowed to persist, it will be stopped immediately, and must be restarted when going back in, if an active one.

    If Sir Fleming wishes to dispel his noble phantasm, he must re-travel the area he wishes to activate it in. The affected area will always be marked by his scarlet chains, viewable to those with any sort of relation with magecraft, with each Timezone being marked accordingly.

    Cosmopolitan Rail
    Anti-Distance
    Rank D
    "Finally! It only took my death to never be late again."
    A costly ability despite it's low rank, Binder summons a ghostly locomotive on a spectral rail that leads into nothingness. Upon boarding (passengers optional), the train will leave, and reappear in one of his Timezones a minute later, even if LaTR is not active. He can hit someone with the train, but it's really not meant as an offensive noble phantasm.

    A Noble Phantasm born both from his work on railways, and the original instance of him missing a train due to mislabeled times inspiring his invention of worldwide standardized time. It even features the original name he coined it under, before refining the idea.

    Lore: Sir Sandford Fleming FRSC KCMG (January 7, 1827 – July 22, 1915) was a Scottish Canadian engineer and inventor. Born and raised in Scotland, he emigrated to colonial Canada at the age of 18. He promoted worldwide standard time zones, a prime meridian, and use of the 24-hour clock as key elements to communicating the accurate time, all of which influenced the creation of Coordinated Universal Time. He designed Canada's first postage stamp, produced a great deal of work in the fields of land surveying and map making, engineered much of the Intercolonial Railway and the first several hundred kilometers of the Canadian Pacific Railway, and was a founding member of the Royal Society of Canada and founder of the Canadian Institute (a science organization in Toronto).

    Personality: Described in life as a Family man devoted to his wife and children, he continues this reputation as a servant. A fatherly, responsible gentleman with a penchant for punctuality, he presents a stern kindness befitting of someone who was a professor for 35 years. Rarely angry, he is occasionally prone to frustration with factors unknown to him whilst making plans.

    Summoner's Synopsis
    Sir Sanford Fleming's classification as a binder means that he is highly suited for summoning scenarios where he is ensured teamwork, such as a VS grail war, or a Doubles Subcategory Holy Grail War. By doing this, a master can maximize the effectiveness of his supportive capabilities, and make up for his mediocre combat capabilities. While they can be slightly patched up by the stat boost afforded by his Passenger skill, if one is looking to summon him as a solo fighter, his Rider form is both easier to obtain as a standard class, and more combat-oriented.

    Relationships
    Click here!Relationships:
    Charles Babbage- "You come from a dimension of steam... do tell, are steam trains the main form of transportation there? Or have you moved on to other forms of steam-based transportation?"

    Paul Bunyan- "Always good to meet a fellow servant celebrated in Canada! You know, little miss, they said the swathes you cut through the forests made way for some of my rails- regardless if that happened, I must thank you for the mental image- It warms a father's heart."

    Super Bunyan- "No, I will not alter the timezones so you and your compatriots may host the only ever, 'Twenty-Five hour day livestream'- I made them to establish order, not views, Miss Bunyan."

    Francis Drake- "My invention may have ensnared the world, you actually voyaged around it... as a surveyor, I cannot help but be entranced by your accomplishment."

    EMIYA (Assassin)- "Your Chronos Rose- would you mind activating it? I'd like to see the interaction of it with my chains, if you don't mind."

    Yosano Akiko- "The ability to shape the earth as you please... my dear, while I respect your trade as a poet, you would have done MARVELS in the field of civil engineering, had you this capability in life."

    Johannes Kepler- "So you've made contact with the moon? and It's an Alien machine?... I would have never thought.... if you don't mind my asking, how does it quantify the passing of time? I'm curious of it's methods."

    Toriyama Sekien- "An illustrator of monsters... pray tell, have you ever considered coming to Canada? There are still.... things that lurk in her wilds- I daresay you could find yourself extra inspiration there."

    Cope and Marsh- "Why I head of both your discoveries in life! Admittedly, I imagined the two of you would be a touch more... professional, but... ah, you've manifested as children, its only natural. Just- do try and behave, alright?"

    JFK- "Good Lord- this is why I prefer to travel under vehicles with covered roofs."

    Heinrich Schliemann- "...Do you KNOW how much you destroyed in your twisted excavations? You blew away the land itself! Geography holds HISTORY, Berserker, and you even ruined that..."

    Yoshitsugu Otani- "Please, you needn't strain yourself with horseback- do join me for a ride on rails, if only for a spell- it's much faster, I assure you."

    Christian Caldwell- "...Well, not every Scot in history could be a good man- your actions bring shame to our homeland."

    Comte de Saint-Germaine- "Ah- my apologies, my good sir, it appears I approached the wrong version- I was looking for another aspect of yourself, the time-traveler."

    Jenny Lind- "I've been forced to brave many a blizzard in the great white north, Miss Lind. Yours will be no different."

    William Randolph Hearst- "While I would have appreciated something along the lines of what you push on my side when I was scammed out of a railroad monopoly... I can't agree with the raw sensationalism, I'm sorry. I prefer things presented to me in a manner that is pure and simple."

    Nostradamus- "Pardon- do you mind if I enter your library? I understand you're a specialist in calculative magecrafts- If I get you the data, would you be able to come up with likely geographical formations under the sea? You see, I advocated for a trans-pacific telegraph cable- but why not go bigger? If a tunnel could be constructed, a rail..."

    Felix von Luckner- "I'm glad you weren't battling the blockade when I immigrated to the Americas- I would have been deathly afraid of being sunk."

    Unas- "There is no god of railways, not even a saint- you'll find nothing here. Kindly, step here."

    Sorghaghtani- "A fellow of the same class, what a rare sight! I daresay though, you seem to be handling the task of binding much more easily than I do."

    Chevalier de Saint-Georges- "An honest to god knight... I'm afraid I've only been awarded the title for my accomplishments in the sciences."

    W. T. Stead- "What you discovered in London- as horrible as it was, it makes me feel accomplished as a Father, knowing I was able to keep my children safe from those horrors. Thank you for telling the world of that filth."

    William Topaz McGonagal- "You know McGonagal- I may not be one for poetry, but It's got a sort of... silliness to it. I think my children would get the quite the giggle out of it."

    Empress Wei of Tang- "You wish to go back in time? I'm afraid I can't manage things like that- I merely quantify time, not control it."

    The Mary Celeste- "A Ship... somehow, I can't imagine locomotives having the same animosity. My condolences."

    Sugawara no Takasue no Musume- "Come now, there's no shame in enjoying things that may be childish- my children were the light of my life, their behavior a large part of that. Nothing is wrong with holding onto the joys of youth- take it from an old man."

    Cacareco- "...Take a railway down to San Paulo? well, you'd likely have to transfer or hop off a few times, but I do believe it's not impossible.."

    Plato- "No, I get it, that love you speak of- it's what I feel when I walk about nature, feeling the world around me become part of my thoughts and memories. It's truly a refreshing sensation."

    Ismail al-Jazari- "Ah, Lancer, there you are! I wanted to speak with you on something- see I found these design sketches for a train that lays its own rail as it goes, and I wanted to see if it could be replicated on a larger scale...."

    Alfred Nobel- "It's... a grand shame what your work ended up being used for. If my creations were to be somehow twisted as yours were... I can only sympathize. No inventor, engineer, or architect wants to see their work corrupted as yours has."

    Si Pitung- "I could never dream to match the skill you have with a blade, no matter how I've come to exist as a servant."

    Vercingetorix- "If we are to work together, I do hope you don't find my ensnaring of foes for you as disagreeable- I'm not quite familiar with warrior codes, you see."

    Aimo Allan Koivunen- "Good Lord man- if you were lucid at that speed, you could have surveyed the rail routes in a mere fraction of the time it took me!"

    Gustavus Adolphus Rex Sueciae- "Your highness- from a father to a father: if you, your family, or your men ever need quick transport, do come and seek me out, I'd be happy to help."

    Sir Christopher Lee- "Ah, my fellow knight of the crown- I'm glad to finally meet another with the distinction!"

    Otávio Maeda- "I'm so sorry, but I don't think I can provide the challenge you seek. If one who measures up to you enters my routed territory however, I'll be sure to let you know."

    Haru Urara- "Do keep fighting miss- I'm certain you'll get a win yet."

    Lili Boulanger- He simply holds her tight for a moment, with a look of sadness on his face that only a father who lost his children young can know.

    Marie-Therese Charlotte- "Please miss- I suggest you give the world another chance- if not the one of man, than the one of earth. Travel, get lost in its mountains, forests, and valleys. It does wonders, learning them, I assure you."

    Magdalena Solis- "Absolute freedom is a fallacy- we must have some sort of order, some sort of measure. Even id it is not my metric of time, or planning of routes across a continent, we need SOMETHING. Absolute freedom is predatory animal instinct, where kindness is rarely afforded."

    Sir Ernest Shackleton- "Another trusted by the crown- do tell me Ernest- do you think it possible to map that great sheet of ice? Or merely approximate it?"

    Petrus and Catherine Gonsalvus- "I must thank you for what your story inspired- it and tales like it brought many smiles, and well-slept nights to my own children as bedtime stories. I'm filled with joy that the two of you were able to be so happy by each other."

    "Bad Poetry"/Ern Malley- "No, you're not just ink, now are you? I'll see to it that my chains don't let what is inside, out."

    Zé Carioca/J. Carlos- "I never made it to the tropics- though, I would certainly like to explore the jungles in your country, should I be summoned there. Oh the things I could see..."

    Lazăr Edeleanu- "Sorry to say, but you remind me of Tupper, the bastard who took the Canadian Pacific Railway from me- kindly calm the cash talk, would you?"

    Charles V- "I think- in an abstract way of course, I obtained that universal dominion of yours- one world, under one system. Sure, it's not a ruler's law, but I believe we wished for the same thing."

    Blessed Gerard- "Your order's aim was undoubtedly a good thing, trying to heal the sick, but... I have qualms with your methods. Many qualms... I do wish that you get to experience the joys of humanity without a massacre, otherwise I would be forced to oppose your act."

    Blaise Pascal- "The vacuums that you employ- I wished to talk to you on them. What's your thoughts on them being used for propulsion purposes?"


    Notes!Notes
    - Once again, HUGE thanks to Del for letting me do a Binder. I asked him ages ago when he first came up with the concept, and he helped me get rid of the overcomplicated NP that the first sheet was sort of built around. No worries on possible collusion for the contest though, this sheet is of my own making.
    - In The Womb a few weeks ago, I passed by the idea of an irregular Grail War type scenario taking place on a magic train referred to as Mr Bones's Wild Ride- this is for that concept! I'm tentatively calling it the Holy Rail War atm, it'll probably be in the form of a tabletop game, idk. More of a fun thought experiment than anything else currently.
    - On this and my future sheets, I'm adding the Summoner's Synopsis portion to the sheet to describe why they'd be summoned as a servant- good way to summarize how they operate, and why you'd ever want them as a magus.
    - If you look closely at the image, his binder's/kusarigama chain is actually made of little train tracks! I figured because one of the themes that encompass the Binder Class Del listed is connecting people, it'd be a nice little way to personalize his specific chains.
    - The Big-ass conductor's hat is a reference to him being photographed at the ceremony of the "last spike" being driven on the Canadian Pacific Railway- he has the tallest tophat in the picture, and I thought it was a fun way to spice up a design that would otherwise just be a conductor's uniform
    - Rider form has a timestop.



  2. #5222
    Your average angst/edge supplier BnEl15's Avatar
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    Dang, he jojo posin'. His Rider form better do a wryyy pose with the timestop.
    Looks like the Holy Rail War is a thing now. I'm very interested in the concept.

  3. #5223
    死徒(下級)Lesser Dead Apostle MuramasaMachII's Avatar
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    Wait, Vididii, have you thought of adding a personified train to the Rail War? Such as the Orient Express or the Shinkansen of 1964(the first bullet train in Japan)?

  4. #5224
    世はまさにパンテオン Comun's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BnEl15 View Post
    Dang, he jojo posin'.
    I'd argue he's Jojo dressin' as well.

  5. #5225
    祖 Ancestor Vididii's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MuramasaMachII View Post
    Wait, Vididii, have you thought of adding a personified train to the Rail War? Such as the Orient Express or the Shinkansen of 1964(the first bullet train in Japan)?
    Orient Express is actually heavily under consideration, considering what happens in a certain Agatha Christie novel and the premise of a death game. Still, I got no idea what the deal with the wild ride is yet, but its likely in there.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by WhiteFrenzy View Post
    JFK: THE MAN HIMSELF AND I’M ALREADY DYING (like him) AT THE FC HOLY SHIT. Also, alright, I get him I get him… I, too, would be tempted by Marylin Monroe. I wish I could have a compliment for him but mannn, this Servant is a hot mess. I hate him (affectionately). I dunno, you walk that line between a joke Servant and an-actually-serious Servant so well that I’m almost going to your DMs to ask you to teach me your ways. My only gripe with this amusing sheet is that I almost went over it because the font under that video was so… Normal. So if anyone didn’t read this one just like I almost didn’t please do. He’s terrible (affectionately).
    Also, thanks for this mate, only saw it while going back through for relationships, but, hmu if you got any questions, I just enjoy writing my silly little guys

  6. #5226
    Local Extra Class Aficionado DelRey's Avatar
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    thats really fun art you made there. Neat to see the next Binder here! The NP is still complicated, but not as much as what I suggested with Cooldown alteration and localized time of day recognition.
    He is just a simple dad that uses a stereotypical pocket watch of conductors under the weird concept of longitudes and railways as chains. Just the simple weirdness that I appreciate in sheets.
    "Let's see the color of your coin, my friend."



    Behold my vault of Heroes.
    Where the Heavens and the Abyss breath the Music of Humanity.


    The King's duty is to provide. And provide, I shall.
    University of Formatting | Gallery of Potential | Memorandum of the Extra Class Kings

    Our Kingdom will grow. And we shall know each citizen.
    Create-a-Servant 4 soon.

  7. #5227
    هههههههههههههههههههه Kamera's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DelRey View Post
    I think we have 43 entries rn
    Aster, wanna reconsider the 5 instead of 3 votes suggestion?
    crazy that even though the overall forum activity is declining, the CaS threads are still growing even stronger
    Check out the officialTM Create-a-Servant discord server









    Blindfold your eyes, so that the approaching night may strike no fear in you.
    Let it not burden your soul, nor numb your strides.

  8. #5228
    祖 Ancestor Vididii's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DelRey View Post
    thats really fun art you made there. Neat to see the next Binder here! The NP is still complicated, but not as much as what I suggested with Cooldown alteration and localized time of day recognition.
    He is just a simple dad that uses a stereotypical pocket watch of conductors under the weird concept of longitudes and railways as chains. Just the simple weirdness that I appreciate in sheets.
    Eyyy, thanks dad, good to hear you like it

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by Kamera View Post
    crazy that even though the overall forum activity is declining, the CaS threads are still growing even stronger
    ROW ROW FIGHT THE POWER

  9. #5229
    Your average angst/edge supplier BnEl15's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kamera View Post
    crazy that even though the overall forum activity is declining, the CaS threads are still growing even stronger
    As someone who barely visits any other thread beside CaS... the forum activity is declining?

    I do miss those old CYOA-style quests, tho. Preferably the ones that don't take 100+ chapters to catch up to.

  10. #5230
    هههههههههههههههههههه Kamera's Avatar
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    the magic of sheet formatting through BBcode is the only thing that not even Discord or Twitter or Reddit can take away from us
    Check out the officialTM Create-a-Servant discord server









    Blindfold your eyes, so that the approaching night may strike no fear in you.
    Let it not burden your soul, nor numb your strides.

  11. #5231
    Cruciforme NailsInYourFeet's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BnEl15 View Post
    Oh boy, this certainly is a new record.
    Unfortunate that I probably won't have the time nor idea for a second entry, but it is what it is.
    I do remember you saying you were interested in doing a duo Kate Leigh & Tilly Devine sheet, but yeah, time is definitely a factor (odd as it is to say that after Sanford's posting)

  12. #5232
    祖 Ancestor Vididii's Avatar
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    Nah, time is ABSOLUTELY a factor, doing the 49 servant relationships took me three hours- thank fuckin god I didn't have work this morning

  13. #5233
    Local Extra Class Aficionado DelRey's Avatar
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    Lol, why do i compile all the entries when others do it in their relationship sections
    "Let's see the color of your coin, my friend."



    Behold my vault of Heroes.
    Where the Heavens and the Abyss breath the Music of Humanity.


    The King's duty is to provide. And provide, I shall.
    University of Formatting | Gallery of Potential | Memorandum of the Extra Class Kings

    Our Kingdom will grow. And we shall know each citizen.
    Create-a-Servant 4 soon.

  14. #5234
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by asterism42 View Post
    Agreed, due to the large number of entries, you can cast five votes.
    I don't get how this'd work. If you normally have a vote for three points, a vote for two points, and a vote for one point, how many points would the two extra votes have?

  15. #5235
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six pinetree's Avatar
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    5 and 4?

  16. #5236
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pinetree View Post
    5 and 4?
    ...That feels obvious now that you point it out. Thanks.

  17. #5237
    死徒(下級)Lesser Dead Apostle Baron Magnus's Avatar
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    Time for another mass review before I update interactions for new entries. Starting with one that was unfinished before!

    Sugawara no Takasue no Musume
    Sublime. That is one word I can say about this. I haven't read it over again but that's due to being busy with other things. I plan to when life calms down because man. This sheet is simply beautiful. Great work with this one Pine. Kudos and enjoy a vote when voting comes around.

    Aristocles "Plato" of Athens
    Not gonna lie I found it a bit weird. I get what your going for and it works fine but something about it is just... off. I don't know how else to put it. Sorry but I guess dadonis just wasn't my cup of tea.

    Ismail al-Jazari
    Going to be honest I dunno if this even gets a honorable mention. This servant is so complex that even after ten readings I can't make heads or tails beyond 'evolution and robots the servant'. If it weren't for others saying the same thing I'd just think I'm too stupid to get it so... sorry my man. That said I don't just wanna tear you down. So I thought about it and found one issue that prevents getting across the point of the sheet.

    Narrative. You seem to want to tell a story with it. Which is nice, i get it, I did it once too. Thing is I regret that because it got in the way of the servant I tried to present. I've constantly thought about deleting them because they just don't reflect the quality I want... speaking of i'll do that after i post this. Anyway the problem is that the story you are trying to tell is adding complexity to an already complex servant and also, as a result, making it harder to read and find out its whole deal.

    If you had removed the story and focused on the servant or had removed the complexity and focused on narrative I think this sheet would have worked a lot better. Don't get me wrong, narrative servants have worked in the past but the thing I noticed is that in the end understanding the servants is simple. Take pine's Sugawara for example.

    Sugawara has little history and has an overall simple set of mechanics. Likewise her personality and lore can easily be summed up. However Pine went the extra mile and made a narrative around this relatively simple concept of a servant and it made the servant shine. With that I hope that this review comes across as constructive rather than destructive.

    Alfred Nobel
    Quite a unique idea. A man horrified by his own creation and works to undo it. Thats a very compelling servant. Also helps that the servant is well written. Kudos.

    Si Pitung
    An asian robin hood? Who's the copyright thief!? Joking aside he was kind of a fun servant. I like it.

    Vercingetorix
    Huh. Weird guy... I don't really have much to say other than I like seeing weird servants like this.

    Aimo Allan Koivunen
    Wow. So drugs are actually magical. Who knew. I'm kidding but this guy seriously just makes me think of the lucky charms guy but for drugs. Thanks for the fun read!

    Adolphus Rex Sueciae
    I dunno why but I can't help but think he'd somehow fit into the anime Golden Kamuy. I dunno why I thought that, just that I did. That said the sheet reads excellently. Frankly its an extremely fun sheet that in another contest might've been an automatic vote but here its probably going to be an honorable mention. There are just so many good sheets.

    Sir Christopher Lee
    Oh I know this actor. Barely. Nice to see him here. I definitely like the angle you took for him. I also like how fun the sheet is to read... and the reveal had me pretenderventilating but I'm glad it wasn't. Just lee being a faker... which strangely fits the Faker angle all to well as an actor. Seriously gave me a lot to think about. Thanks for this sheet... since we have five votes I think he might get one.

    Otavio Maeda
    The worst strongest fighter. I love this sheet. The way you build him up as this awesome fighter and how he was the greatest in the world... and then promptly smacked down expectations about his performance in a proper grail war. It really, really feels like a nasuverse story with how its written. A modern servant that was hot shit when he was alive that gets a big serving of humble pie... and the best part is he isn't even the kinda guy you'd want to eat humble pie which makes it sorta sad. What works is that rather than give up the servant keeps struggling. I love it. These sheets are the kind that I love reading. Expect a high amount of points sir for your excellent entry.

    Haru Urara
    I believe i've mentioned this problem before... but I don't remember the sheet so I'll simply say it for this one. The one thing holding it back is simply I have no clue who they are. They're underdogism personified. Great. They have a set personality and wishes for the grail. awesome. So who was she in life? what is her legend?
    Another recent sheet over in CAS solved this issue while not taking up more space and while I somewhat dislike it I acknowledge its effective and frankly probably really practical over handwriting their legend or your own take on it. They just linked to a wikipedia article using their name. So maybe try that.
    Note: To be clear everything else about the sheet works. It is definitely a good quality sheet and its just this one thing I personally wish was present to give me a clearer picture. I'm adding this to clear things up. This also applies to sheets that have this same criticism unless I explicitly say otherwise.

    Lili Boulanger
    Sad and tragic. I can't help but think that. As always your work is beautifully written. I swear you must have a job in writing or something because you have a real talent for it. Kudos.

    Marie-Therese Charlotte
    A little better than Urara but it has the same problem. I only managed to figure her out because of the mentions of the French Revolution, which I happen to be reading about now for a sheet I'm working on. Even then I think you'd be better if you linked to an article on her or wrote your on take on her legend.

    Magdalena Solis
    .... I'm starting to worry this might be a trend. I have no clue who she is other than she led a cult that presumably had some rituals involving blood and pain. A dark image, sure, but I still have no clue about it beyond that. Oh well.

    Sir Ernest Shackleton
    A very large sheet that is also complex. It works though. I can read and follow along with what your servant is putting down. It also helps that its explaining from a first person perspective. I absolutely love it. I'm most certainly voting for it come voting time.
    Also Ernest is best boi.

    Petrus and Catherine Gonsalvus
    Not gonna lie i'd been iffy on the lover class. There had been some real misses here and there from what I've seen... but this? Man. This hits it. This exemplifies the potential of the lover class. The last time I saw an excellent lovers sheet was WhiteFrenzy so kudos.

    Ern Malley
    Legitimately an excellent sheet. At first it was sort of meh especially the skills and how they were written. Yet eventually it grew me over. I think it might just be an acquired taste but unlike those I can definitely say its more because of richness than controversial flavors. Kudos!

    José Carlos de Brito e Cunha.
    Another trip to Brazil. I love wyvern-time brazil trips. Onto the sheet though and I have to say you've outdone yourself. An interesting idea, a very unknown figure, and your lore. Yet none of that is really utilized except maybe the first. Even then its all filtered through the servants perspective first which is an interesting idea and one few people use because its so easy to screw up. Yet I think you did well. Good job, expect a vote when the time comes.

    Dr. Lazăr Edeleanu
    5 points. I refuse to give any other amount. This is so, so well done and so well written.
    ...
    ...
    I swear i'm not being biased for old sheets being mentioned. It is incredibly well written. Kudos sir!

    Charles V
    I don't know how best to compliment you. To say you probably gave the roman emperor more respect that historians do or to say I like your style of writing a lot. If it wasn't for the sea of quality this month it'd be a shoe-in... unfortunately someone already got my top vote. So I hope a vote is acceptable.

    Blessed Gerard
    .... not gonna lie this sheet just creeps me out. Which is fine. I think you're trying to so... kudos!

    Blaise Pascal
    Huh. Neat.

    Sir Sanford Fleming
    Yo a jojoer! And a holy rail war! Seriously is it intentional? Those two things aren't things that should mix so damn well. Anyway the sheet itself is great and honestly will get an honorable mention. Sadly, as mentioned before, a lot of sheets did so damn well I can't promise a vote. That said there are two slots available and it might get it. So we'll see!

    -Break-

    It's done! Finally!

    No offense but I thought I wasn't so far behind. Seriously though reading the sheets was fun.
    Last edited by Baron Magnus; October 20th, 2022 at 07:02 PM. Reason: Adding notes to make clear none of these are an attack on the creators.
    Rookie Lorekeeper, Amateur Extraordinaire, and all around nasunoob.




  18. #5238
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baron Magnus View Post
    Haru Urara
    I believe i've mentioned this problem before... but I don't remember the sheet so I'll simply say it for this one. The one thing holding it back is simply I have no clue who they are. They're underdogism personified. Great. They have a set personality and wishes for the grail. awesome. So who was she in life? what is her legend?
    Another recent sheet over in CAS solved this issue while not taking up more space and while I somewhat dislike it I acknowledge its effective and frankly probably really practical over handwriting their legend or your own take on it. They just linked to a wikipedia article using their name. So maybe try that.
    Defending myself here, I think it's pretty clear she's a Japanese racehorse whose famous for always losing. That's really the most important thing, and other flavorful details (like the ticket amulets) I did include in the sheet.

  19. #5239
    هههههههههههههههههههه Kamera's Avatar
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    Kinda surprised there hasn't been more creepy-themed Servants tbh, given that it's the Halloween season.
    Check out the officialTM Create-a-Servant discord server









    Blindfold your eyes, so that the approaching night may strike no fear in you.
    Let it not burden your soul, nor numb your strides.

  20. #5240
    死徒(下級)Lesser Dead Apostle Baron Magnus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    Defending myself here, I think it's pretty clear she's a Japanese racehorse whose famous for always losing. That's really the most important thing, and other flavorful details (like the ticket amulets) I did include in the sheet.
    Admittedly, and i'll edit my post to reflect this, it seems like I missed the clues. That said its just my personal taste and not at all an attack on your style and i'm sorry if it came across as that. I did like the sheet for what it was trying to do. Again sorry for the confusion.
    Rookie Lorekeeper, Amateur Extraordinaire, and all around nasunoob.




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