Monthly Create-A-Servant Contest

[DelRey]

Do not worry about that. It is encouraged for everyone to participate and/or comment on entries. Your opinion is as valuable as those of other participants.
And getting a paragraph as feedback is something that everyone wishes for, as long as it is not insulting, of course.

[Kamera]

One hell of an irony if the Review Thread made to encourage Reviews ends up discouraging people from giving Reviews

[pinetree]

Why would you not want to influence votes? I want people to vote like me so the sheets I like win lol

[Anju Addams]

True Name: Ame-no-Uzume

Ah, shit. We picked the same person. Well, at least I can only do my best.

[Castellan]

Alrighty then! Keeping in mind that I like the sheet overall, I have some very minor quibbles that come from being in a kinda unique position in that the person who taught me most of the things I know about Hinduism is a Kalikula Shaktist, so a lot of the information in the sheet is very particular to the branch I know the most about:

Kali. A name that is well known to readers of Hindu Myth. A name feared, respected, and adored. Belonging to a figure that invokes all these emotions at the same time. Known also as Adi Shakta or Kali Mata, Kali is a goddess derived from the goddess Parvati. At times in response to danger and other times at the behest of Shiva. Once summoned she is said to be an incredibly destructive force.

From a Shakta perspective it would be the other way around. Or rather, the trifecta of Durga, Parvati and Kali are emanations of the same goddess, but in a Shakta perspective Kali and Durga are the oldest emanations while Parvati is the youngest, having already been reborn once since the creation of the (current) universe. "Adi Shakti" is a title they share as the supreme manifestation of Shakti-the-force.

In other words, she is Shakti, the cosmic energy that Gods and other entities utilize in various Hindu works, made manifest through the body of gods.

To be more specific, Shakti isn't just a power utilized by the gods, it is Power, capital P. I guess in a physics sense you could think of it as the ability to put things in motion at all. Brahman, the counterpoint cosmic force, is static, pervasive and infinite while Shakti is creative, sustaining and constantly in motion. Especially for a dance-focused sheet like this I think going a little bit deeper on what the term means would give it a bit of a stronger thematic connection. It's literally the power to move at all.

You could use that in place of Moksha in the skill writeup, really - Moksha is about "liberation" in the sense of being unchained from seeing only the material universe. When Kali is talked about as an expression of Moksha, it is about freedom from the rules that govern mortal life. Like Shiva, Kali is a goddess that embraces all people from all walks of life, and if they have no other god that will accept them, she will. Freedom in the sense of unimpeded momentum would be more about manipulating Shakti.

It's also not entirely unique to Kali. Durga and Parvati are likewise thought to be particularly 'close' emanations of Shakti, but Shakti permeates all goddesses - or all gods in a Shakta perspective. That's less a knock on the sheet and maybe more future inspiration for people who want to take a crack at Durga.

A time and war goddess that does indeed love dancing and causes destruction by sheer coincidence similar to how it was in her old life.

Again, a little bit of a misnomer here. When we talk about Kali as "Time," we might get the image of being unbound from linear time or manipulating linear time in some way. That's all Hindu gods to some extent or another. Rather, what Kali represents is...entropy, really. The inexorable march of time. The knowledge that everything in the universe will eventually break down and something new will have to be made. That's also very much how her 'warrior' aspect works. She's not really a war goddess. War is something that happens between two groups of people in a position of relative strength. Kali does not fight, Kali destroys.

I super adore the fact that the sheet makes a lot of her actions incidental though. There are lots of myths like that, of Kali simply enjoying herself and causing havoc on the world around her, usually involving Shiva having to calm her down.

The Noble Phantasm, I think, could have done with another pass - it feels like it's representing one too many things. One of the many notable stories involving Kali involves her preemptively beginning the dance that will end the world. See, in a good checks notes 300.000 years or so, the planet is due for a makeover, and at that point it will be the responsibility of Shiva and Kali, as God the Destroyer and his consort, to dance the dance that will turn off all the lights, usher the last souls to the wheel to be reborn, and to deliver liberation to those who have finished their time on the wheel and are ready to be unified with their chosen god. In this particular instance, Shiva hopped beneath her feet and technically died for a bit (he got better), and it leads to one of the more enduring pieces of Hindu iconography - Kali howling triumphantly atop her husband's corpse. I feel like you're trying to evoke that, but getting a bit lost in the "Shakti" portion of the sheet to really commit to it, if that makes sense?

Again, all very minor quibbles, and I don't want to detract too much from what I think is overall a very good go. Kali is just a very complex goddess and it's hard to capture all of that at once.

[pinetree]

Miriam: Amazing sheet. You writing is very evocative, Bond 1/2 legit game me chills. I knew Miriam is a feminist symbol for Jewish women and the way you integrated that in the narrative it great. I don't know if the recontextualization of her leprosy is your own take but still, the reversal of this moment that should put her down is an inspired take that does a lot to sell the image of how important she is.
This month's prompt is hard, so it is all the more impressive how you use the dance here. It would have been easy to just point to her Noble Phantasm and be done with it, but you use it to tie together your interpretation of Genesis to the story and character here and it elevates the sheet a lot.
The fact that it also makes her Noble Phantasm way more conceptually interesting is also a huge plus, and I enjoyed how you justified attributing the closing to her. It's also very concise, which is quality few people here can display, me included.
My favorite part though is how you dedicated a whole section to justify the faceclaim. I personally don't enjoy seeing characters I already know being used as faceclaims. It often forces me to make unfavorable comparisons between the two or reveals that the sheet is taking too much inspiration from it, though there are exceptions of course. Anyway, I care a lot about sheet presentation and when I first saw the faceclaim my reaction was yawning at someone using the new(?) genshin girl, because of course someone would, but the way you explained how her entire outfit is culturally relevant to Miriam really struck a chord with me.

The Class choice was really neglected though. I guess it's the most obvious one but having only one class skill with barely any description is really weird when I look at how much you poured into each of her personal ones.

[DracoScribe]

Ah, shit. We picked the same person. Well, at least I can only do my best.

Well I certainly wouldn't mind another Ame-no-Uzume sheet (some of you might guess one of the reasons why considering the sheet maker and my thoughts on their sheets), but I know some don't wanna do the same figure as someone else in a contest.

Anyways...woo! More entries sooner than expected! YEEEAAAAHHHH.

why yes im enjoying this feast for myself why?

Ahem. Anyways.

Miriam the Prophetesd: HOLY SHI--why hello newcomer! If that curse wasn't enough of an indicator what I think of your sheet...well even if it was, allow me to elaborate. First off...okay a little bit "ifft" start in the form of the BB code for the bullets in a list being leftover/not working properly, but that's fine. It's minor because DAMN. The prose leads to a strong start and kept me enthralled to learn about this figure all the way through, and I loved every second of it. I don't know. There's just the way you do it that stuck out to me the most. Maybe it's because you're new and I wasn't expecting prose I'd like a lot. One of the details I liked which I haven't seen from the (relatively few) sheets I've read (and I realy do mean relatively few considering I've read several contests' worth of sheets at this point) was you describing Miriam, tying it to her character and lore, and made me realize it matched incredibly well with the FC. As someone who likes the care put into a thoughtful character design, I enjoyed that. Overall, I enjoyed this water dancer prophetess, happy to learn of another figure I didn't know too much about in such an enchanting way.
Also echo pine's sentiment about the Noble Phantasm. Put what I felt into words better than I could, 'cause I knew I liked the NP, but I couldn't quite disect why.

Kali: Now, before I begin, I'd like to point anyone reading this to go to Castellan's thoughts on this sheet because I'm gonna address some things in it in relation to my thoughts on this sheet (and also just being in general informative/a good jumping off point for further research).

First off, I was predisposed to like this sheet as I have a bit of fondness for Kali (dancing "war"*as Castellan pointed out she's not your typical one goddess yeah of course i was gonna be fond of her) and have been meaning to research her, but like, just keep getting distracted. So right off the bat I was all "hell yeah", especially as I like that the FC is continuing the use of Sakura faces for Indian gods (which I have no idea is a good thing or not; all I know is that I like how the vessel ties into her personality later). And then as I went on, the skills and NP gave me vibes of an "energy bender" whose forms of "bending" are dance, which is real cool especially compared with her usual "i have a ton of dead stuff on me and holding tons of swords" appearance, while in personality she's just enjoying herself, and dancing, way too much and sometimes accidentally destroys things. Not necessarily clumsy more so...being VERY in the moment. Which is something I relate to because I have indeed hit things by accident while dancing (though unlike Kali it's usually a big OW for me). (no not a trained dancer in any style before you ask)

But, well, that is with what little I knew of Kali. I'll admit that, with what I know of Hindu(? I think it was Hindu. I keep mixing up that and Buddhism) being "it can get really complicated", I'll admit at times the information feels just as complicated as I expected, the explanations, while in the end letting me understand, making it feel daunting at times. Not sure if that's just me though. Also, as I read, there was the inkling in my mind, wondering, like...how much of this is a thing? Because of my aforementioned perception of "this can be really complicated" so I'll admit, when I saw Castellan's thoughts on some of the bits, I wasn't surprised about it.

But like they said, they didn't really diminish anything from the sheet. Just concerns for the future for you, and anyone reading this, with how "big" and "complex" these deities can be.

Ame-no-Uzume: I'm disappointed in you jishara. And I mean that half-seriously, and half-not. Half-not because of course everyone's been going "fuck" about this prompt so the obvious ones as Del put it are gonna be taken and I won't blame anyone for it, but half-seriously because I thought, out of everyone, you'd end up being one of the ones picking a not obvious one with your long list of Servants and how many of them are also obscure. But admittedly that's mainly a nitpick on my part... I think? Eh, I mean it as a nitpick anyway.

As for the sheet itself? My problems with your sheet still persist--too short for my tastes and the prose doesn't make up for it--but somehow, I'm not as bothered by this. I suspect my bias for dance is greatly affecting my judgement because I felt like it was creative that she could wield Amaterasu's fires through her skill, Kagura, and just liking the general vibe of Ame-no-uzume. Still, not great, but not bad either. And you made me like it more than I thought I would, so I guess you can count that as a win if you want.

[DelRey]

Miriam: I can just echo what pine said. A great debut. Writing, concept and even the use of the FC are wonderful. There are some weird things with your formatting. You wanted to use LIST, but missed some lines, but it should be easy to fix. I agree with the class choice. The skills of the Ruler Class are an issue since FGO, but it could've been used for some gimmicks to enhance the concept further. But I have no idea what other Class could've fit, except perhaps a Voyager.

[FarewellToMrA]

‘‘When movement isn't enough, you dance, or when speaking isn't enough, you sing.’
I like this quote. I think it’s wonderful!
It’s one of modern times, applied to the modern artform of musical theater, yes.
But even then, does it not reflect a universal truth?
For when one is filled with emotion, and you no longer have a path before you…
All you have left is to find another way to show it all.
Whether what you’re feeling is joy…
…
Or desperation.’

< - ⪻ - ⋘ - ⪡ - ⫷ -- �� -- ⫸ - ⪢ - ⋙ - ⪼ - >‘Servant, Tatmanat. Ah, a summoning, even for one as forgotten as myself… This calls for celebration! Master, join me in my dance!’


Source

Berserker of Joy and Sorrow
Class: Berserker
Other Qualifying Classes: Caster
True Name: Tatmanat
Alignment: Neutral Good
Attribute: Heaven
Region: Canaan
Source: Legend of Keret

Parameters:
Strength: D
Endurance: D
Agility: B
Magic: A
Luck: A
NP: B

Gender: Female
Height/Weight: 170 cm, 57 kg
Traits: Servant, Weak to Enuma Elish
Armament: None

Lore

A figure from the Legend of Keret, a text notable for being one of the few myths of the ancient, pre-Israel Canaanites still intact and disseminated to this day. The text deals with the figure of Keret, the ruler of the lost city of Khubhuru, who struggles with his own mortality and legacy, striving for an heir even as he is a son of the god El and amongst the divine. Much of the Legend of Keret is fragmentary, with large gaps in the text existing and the ending not being known.

Keret was born with unnatural levels of misfortune, with him having seven wives but all of them either deserting him or dying before they could bear an heir. Driven to desperation, Keret prayed to his father for aid and was instructed to besiege the neighbouring city Udum, and force the enemy king to give his daughter Hariya’s hand in marriage as a war-prize. Blessed by the gods themselves, Keret succeeded, and following their marriage, over the course of seven years, Hariya gave birth to eight sons and eight daughters.

Tatmanat was the eighth daughter of Keret, and the youngest amongst her siblings. Keret’s children were all given blessings by the gods before their birth, and Hariya was believed to be an existence on the level of the divine herself, being said to be just as beautiful as goddesses such as Anat and Athirat. Keret’s oldest son, Yassub, was also nursed by Athirat and Anat, and all of Keret’s children were said to enjoy the birthright of the firstborn. As a result of all of these factors, Keret’s children all possessed the same level of Divinity as their father, despite their status as second-generation demigods.

But despite Keret having succeeded at his wish of birthing a legitimate heir to such an extent, his misfortune had not come to an end. Of all the gods to which he had prayed to for success in his war with Udum, he had failed to fulfill his promises of tribute to Athirat alone. Enraged by Keret’s disrespect, Athirat cursed him with painful death by disease. Keret began to waste away, never recovering despite the offerings of his family and the nobility of Khubhuru. As he declined, the land was overtaken with drought, for in the Age of Gods of Canaan, the ruler’s existence reflected the earth itself.

After months of wasting away, now on the verge of death, Keret entrusted his son Elhu to bring Tatmanat, who of all his issue, felt emotions the strongest, to his side, to learn the true severity of his condition. Upon seeing the state of her father, Tatmanat was overcome with sorrow and pity. And so, she began to

dance

pray

.

A single

dance

prayer

, filled with all the emotions of a girl praying for her father’s life. Even after all the lords of Khubhuru, as the family itself prayed for him, the gods remained unmoved… but this single

dance

prayer

, given in full knowledge of the grievousness of her father’s condition, finally moved those who had remained impassive. As Tatmanat continued her

dance

prayer

, twirling and leaping as she lamented, the earth and heavens began to shake, matching herself. As she

danced

prayed

to the point of exhaustion, and eventually collapsed, her tears were echoed by the world around her, and great rains fell upon the land from the sacred mountain of Baal, ending the drought.

Stirred to action, the gods assembled at the house of Baal. While most of them still viewed Athirat’s grievance as legitimate and thus refused to aid in Keret’s restoration, El, moved by his granddaughter’s plea, used his power to create a minor god of healing, Shatiqatu, and sent her down invisibly to cure Keret. With her task done, both Keret and his city were restored; Tatmanat had succeeded.

Unfortunately, this joy was not to last. Having been kept ignorant to the true extent of Keret’s condition, Yassub, the heir to the throne, chose to confront his father, believing him to have grown complacent and allowing the opportunistic lords of the city and criminals on the borders to oppress the weak. Yassub confronted his father, demanding his abdication for his failure to do his duty to his people. Keret, infuriated to the extent of forgetting his son’s ignorance of the true circumstances of the situation, spat out a curse, beseeching the god Horon and Athirat shatter him.

While what follows, the true ending of the Legend of Keret, is lost to the modern world, Tatmanat was unlucky enough to live through it. Athirat, still filled with hatred for Keret, answered his curse by filling the city with strife, and amplified Keret and Yassub’s hatred for one another. Civil war engulfed Khubhuru, and Keret and his children began to fight and kill each other. Eventually, Yassub, Keret, Elhu, and the rest of the royal family of Khubhuru were all dead… and the only one who survived, Keret’s sole heir, was Tatmanat, the youngest.

Horrified and heartbroken by what had happened, Tatmanat ascended to the throne as queen with no joy in her heart. She did her best to rule justly in the name of her lost parents and siblings, but decided she would not have a child of her own. Having seen the horrors that living so close to the world of divinity could invite, she let her divine blood die with her, and the gods to become further from the world of humanity. With no clear ruler to succeed her, the people of Khubhuru abandoned the city to disperse into the populations of neighbouring kingdoms, and the city that embodied her beloved father’s legacy crumbled, the only sign of its existence left was the stories of it becoming spread as myth.

Personality

Gloomy and distant at one moment, joyous and laughing the next. A passionate person who feels strongly, above all else. Being summoned as a Berserker has strengthened this part of her, the most inherently emotional of her siblings, even further. Thus, as befitting a Berserker, communication has been rendered difficult if she herself does not engage it.

Beyond this, of course, lies more to Berserker. She is both a young woman filled with love of life, enjoyer of dance (beyond its role as prayer) and all other forms of art, and a grief-ridden but still strong and fair ruler. She is bitter and skeptical towards most gods, holding some resentment for even her grandfather, and is pleased to see how the divine has faded and lost relevance in the modern world after her time.

She holds a mixed view of her own legacy, and the fact that her story has partially been lost to time. Part of her is pleased to be somewhat forgotten, seeing herself as not worth acknowledgement compared to other heroes and glad account of her grief and suffering following her family’s deaths, her at her worst, has been lost and not shared among the people. At the same time, she is filled with sorrow at what this loss represents for those around her, and how what is known of her father ends with him at his lowest point. She mourns for her siblings, their stories and even names having been buried for all of them with the exception of Yassub and Elhu.

Underneath everything, Berserker is a kind, fair person filled with love for those close to her and the world as a whole. She is loyal to those she learns to care for above all else, and willing to fight on their behalf with all her soul, even as she hates battle and what it did to her life. She helps those in need, tears down those who are evil, and above else, tries her hardest to do what is heroic.

For those heroes who surrounded her in life, now lost to her, and simply because it’s the right thing to do.

Likes: ‘That which humanity creates… is beautiful. Song, writing, dance, technology, art of all kinds… that which exists to enrich humanity. Ah… truly, this world is a wonderful place, even still!’

Dislikes: ‘The gods, the gods, the gods… My rage is reserved for them. Those who claim humanity’s achievements for their own, those who destroy, that which is used to justify war and killing…! And even now, they surround me, for those of ancient times such as I… I cannot escape them, I CANNOT!’

Wish for the Grail: ‘A world where my father did not make that promise to that goddess… that is what I wish. Even if it means he might have failed to win that war, and he couldn’t have married my mother as he did… even if me and my siblings couldn’t have existed… even if… even if…’

Natural Enemy: ‘…Athirat, and Athirat-type goddesses. That is the only thing about the gods having departed from this realm I dislike… it means I will never get the chance to avenge my family’s suffering on her now!’

Relationships

Gilgamesh (Archer): ‘Ah, thank you, King Gilgamesh! Even as my father was not a good person… I can look upon you, and see that by comparison to a neighbouring ancient king, he was still a saint! Ah, what joy this brings.’

Ishtar: ‘‘Queen of Heaven’? Ah, how strange. Looking upon this goddess, for some reason I can’t possibly understand, it fills me with deep, deep hatred…’

Ereshkigal: ‘Ah, so my city’s name was the same as a river of your domain? Ha, how absurd! Perhaps then, it only makes sense that misfortune would have haunted my father as it did… I was not wrong to let it die with me then, perhaps, even as it was a selfish decision on my part!’

Nitocris: ‘…You have siblings with names lost to history as well? …How do you deal with living with that burden, might I ask?’

Mata Hari: ‘A beautiful dance, and certainly one that I find captivating. But I can sense that it is not joy that fuels it…’

Kalakaua: ‘You were also amongst the last of your own kingdom? …Ah, you’d rather not focus on that? Well, if talking isn’t preferred, then let us dance together, and learn of each other that way!’

Miriam: ‘Maybe your God is better, is kinder than the gods of my people were. I can’t imagine any could be worse. But even then, your chosen people, those you shepherded… they became conquerors. Those people they fought and took their promised land from were the descendants of my subjects.
…
I don’t feel anger over that, not really. I don’t really know why I’m bringing it up, it's not like you were personally involved in that. I’m just… tired and sad.’

Kali: ‘…Let me give you some advice, Master. When it comes to divine blessings and curses… they’re two sides of the coin, intertwined. To be loved or be hated by the gods, there isn’t that much of a difference, not really. Be careful, yeah?’

Ame-no-Uzume (Berserker): ‘A god who invented a form of dance… my people had one of those too. Didn’t do much to help my city when we needed it! Then again neither did most of the other gods… If you have a dance that brought out the sun like you say, can I see it? I’d like to be less dependant on my homeland’s pantheon in battle, as they have proved unreliable!’

Ame-no-Uzume (Ruler): ‘Well, I certainly would say you're attractive… but no, even if you're less dangerous than most, relationships with the divine still tend towards being unstable and tragic, so I'm afraid I'll have to decline. Huh? That was a joke anyway? Well, good, I was afraid I'd have to contend with a god's possessive side for a moment there.’

Tilottama: ‘My father is the type she's predisposed to destroying… when I reflect on that, my blood boils a little, even if she hasn't actually done anything. It would be best for me to avoid her, surely.’

Louis XIV Lily: ‘…It shines bright, indeed. Well, that naivete is a bit aggravating, hearing one without firsthand experience with the gods aspire to imitate them with such fervour, but I was once the same sort of person, in a sense. I would not have my second Noble Phantasm if it was not so. For now, I will let myself appreciate this for what it is. Bravo! Encore!’

Bhargava Markandeya: ‘To reject one solely for being amongst the divine would mean I should reject myself as well… And underneath that fervour of yours, we are kindred spirits of a sort, I can see that. Very well, I shall put aside all else for a moment, and partner with you for a while.’

Madarajin: ‘Divinity, as corrupt to it's core as those which brought about my family's end, even if of a different inclination. You seek to dance and impose your drive towards death on all things? …Then I shall answer you with the one who defeats death. Shatiqatu Ékstatsis… Now try and keep up with me!’

Wonhyo: ‘I'd recommend not using that Noble Phantasm to try and copy my ecstatic dance. No, that wasn't a threat, I'm fine sharing my dances with others besides just the gods, it's just… channeling Shatiqatu into yourself could be quite dangerous, even if it's nothing but another form of the 'truth' you seek. You'd rather reach that enlightenment of yours again after your job here has concluded, yes?’

Mokosh: ‘You seem kind enough, but I'd rather lead my own dance instead of joining in. I hope it's not an offense, I just have bad experiences with gods offering my family power. As a modern phrase puts it, better the devil you know for me.’

Pierena Legnani: ‘That Noble Phantasm… ah, no, it's nothing. Please, no need to stop on my behalf…’
Watching someone of modern times arrive at the same ‘answer’ to the world as she has, independent of the sort of tragedy she faced… for one who can tear their eyes away from Caster, they would see Berserker crying silently as she watches.

Saint Pelagia: ‘To live with such intensity you forget even the world around you… Sometimes, I've thought of doing that myself, just dancing until it all disappears from the back of my mind, even if for a moment. But I can't, I need to keep their legacy alive. If I'm the only one who remembers them, then I can't let myself forget.
…
Ah, sorry. What were you talking about? Something about a, um, ‘Bogey Underworld’…?’

Doamna Zinelor: ‘The Fae… I've heard a little of them on the Throne. I did not encounter any in my time, Canaan's spirits were of a different sort, but the essence of inborn purpose at their core… Shatiqatu is somewhat similar to that in nature. Perhaps that's why I find her presence easier to deal with than the other gods… She's closer to something like this woman, a sort of hybrid?’

Jean-Baptiste Lully: ‘It's been ages since I've danced just for myself, for love of the art. After the form was dragged into everything else that was going wrong with my life… it became difficult to stay attached to it beyond its utility, but when I was young… Very well. If he's so determined to 'show me a good time', perhaps I shall forget sorrow for this night, and become the Berserker of joy for a while.’

Eshu: ‘…I will say, even if I don't exactly get along with him, a god like him in my homeland's pantheon would probably have made them less inclined to drag my family into everything that happened. An arbitrator who keeps a healthy level of distance between the divine and humanity, and sets down proper rules on prayers and offerings… it's a good idea.’

Caiapó (Alter): ‘…Imagining if Shatiqatu thought to try and force herself into my Saint Graph upon summoning instead of waiting for my Noble Phantasm is an unpleasant thought. Even a world away, gods still have issues with their impulses, huh?’

Danse Macabre: ‘Death? Yes, I'm quite familiar with death. I don't hate it myself, even if those who freely inflict it on others are deplorable, but my father was quite fearful of it. And in the end, that fear caused him and those around him much suffering. …I imagine you like him.’

Izumo no Okumi: ‘Being summoned mixed with the spirit of your husband… hm. Maybe, just maybe, I could be summoned with my other siblings besides Yassub and Elhu somehow. There must be some means to do so…’

Ihy: ‘Wh… is that Mot? It's not? Are you sure…? Well, even if he's not, he certainly has a similar energy about him…’

The Korybantes: ‘Tch. What a joke.’
To say that a group of siblings being reunited as Servants is a fate reserved for a group of Divine Spirits is upsetting to Berserker is an understatement.

Class Skills:

Madness Enhancement D
A Skill which raises the basic parameters and strengthens the physical abilities of the holder, at the cost of diminishing of mental capacity and/or sense of reason. The Class Skill of the Berserker class, belonging to those who have succumbed to madness at least once in their life.

At this rank, Strength and Endurance parameters have ranked up at the cost of only some mental ability or communication skill being lost. In Berserker’s case, her ‘madness’ takes the form of her own passionate nature, that which distinguished her amongst her other siblings; her emotions are heightened beyond what would be considered ‘normal’. She lacks the ability to be emotionally ‘neutral’ or ‘blank’. Most of her higher thought and communication is intact, but the intensity of feelings can render reaching a mutual understanding difficult.

Divinity B-
A Skill which measures whether a Servant has aptitude as a Divine Servant. At A-rank, the carrier has ascended to the level of the Throne of Gods, only not qualifying as a ‘true deity’ by virtue of lacking a Divine Core. Mechanically, this has the effect of granting purge defence at a level corresponding to the rank, and allowing the carrier to break through the effects of ‘divine protection’ Skills such as Protection of the Faith.

At rank B, the carrier is considered a mixed-blood of human and Divine Spirit; a Demi-god. Berserker’s father was the demi-god son of the Canaanite god El, one of the highest figures amongst his pantheon. Though Berserker’s divine nature should have lessened as only a granddaughter of a god, the rank remained at this level because Berserker conceptually ‘shared’ in the birthright of her older brother Yassub, who was nursed by two goddesses.

While Berserker hasn’t fully turned against her own ancestry, she has a skepticism and bitterness towards the gods for the role they played in bringing her great misery in life. As such, this skill has gained a ‘-’ modifier.

Personal Skills:

Ancient Sacred Dance A
A Skill denoting one’s abilities in ‘sacred dance’, a concept shared across innumerable cultures across the world, specifically that of the Age of Gods. If the Skill High-Speed Divine Words is one which uses ‘the verbal language of the Age of Gods’ to access the power of the divine in aid of Magecraft, this Skill could be thought as its counterpart: that which uses ‘the non-verbal language of the Age of Gods’ to access the power of the divine in aid of Magecraft. In exchange for lacking the raw speed of the counterpart Skill, communication of ideas with those of modern times is still possible, because dance is a medium which does not require verbal understanding to share ideas.

In Berserker’s case, her dance is particularly connected with Baal, the Demiurge of the Canaanite pantheon, and his authority over storms, and Marqod, a more minor god of dance and earthquakes. High grade Magecraft of both offensive and utility natures can be quickly cast without use of chants or activation of Magic Circuits, and offensive usage of electric and earth element spells additional receives a boost in power.

Performance Continuation B
An altered form of the skill Battle Continuation. If Battle Continuation is a Skill which allows for the continuation of combat even upon the sustaining of mortal wounds, this instead allows for the continuing of performance (dance) even upon the sustaining of mortal wounds. Demarcates both the physical ability and mentality needed to survive.

Berserker continued her prayer (dance) even as her body began to physically suffer under the strain of her movements, until it was answered and gods answered it by calling forth a great rain. She is also one with the raw ability needed to survive that which would kill another person, as her being the sole remaining heir of Keret amongst all her other siblings demonstrated.

Even if the whole world conspires to put a stop to it, if she begins a dance, it will conclude properly.

Uncrowned Arms Mastery -
Denotes arms prowess that went unrecognized in one's lifetime for various reasons. To opponents, Berserker’s parameters appear one rank lower than their actual value, and her Divinity rank appears two ranks lower than its actual value. Additionally, this effect persists even after her true name is revealed due to Berserker being a particularly obscure figure of ancient mythology.

Berserker and her siblings had much of their exploits lost to history, a fact which has been only heightened in the modern day as a result of parts of the Legend of Keret still being lost. However, they were still heroes of the Age of Gods, the text itself calling Elhu as such, and bear all the talents and mastery that implies.

While Berserker herself was not a true warrior in life, she shares the same natural talents for martial skill as her siblings Yassub and Elhu, as a result of the declaration that all of Keret’s issue would possess the same gifts of the firstborn. However, she still chooses to not use a weapon even as she is summoned into a Grail War as a result of bad memories of combat from life, meaning this skill has less immediate applications as it would on a true warrior.

Noble Phantasm(s):

Baal l Ṣalat Amarqod

Let My Tears Become a Torrent

‘O lord, look upon me… mortal and weak. I have no power of my own, so lend me yours, if for a fleeting moment… Baal l Ṣalat Amarqod.’

NP type: Anti-Army
Rank: B
Range: 1~50
Targets: 500 people

The prayer to the gods that Berserker performed in life, begging the gods for her father’s recovery. While the part of the clay tablet detailing the actual details of the prayer has been damaged to be rendered illegible, the account of the aftereffect survives: the drought which had befallen the city was broken by a torrential rainstorm. As the earth and the position of kingship were linked in Canaan’s Age of Gods, this also signified the shift in fortune of Keret, and how his recovery was imminent.

In truth, this prayer took the form of a passionate dance, that which invited the pity of gods through the expression of Berserker’s great sorrow. Both archeological and mythological accounts have shown the importance of sacred dance as a form of prayer in the cultures of the ancient Semitic people. Berserker’s dance is the conceptual origin of the prayer to Baal which his prophets were described to have attempted in the biblical account of the wager between Elijah and the Canaanites over which God could call down fire to burn a sacrificial bull first.

When activated, Berserker begins to dance in a sorrowful plea to Baal, entering a hyper-focused state which greatly reduces outside damage and mental interference. As the dance continues, it begins to call forth a great rain around Berserker, which quickly forms into a torrential storm. Stinging wind and water and lightning in the area will inflict magical damage to Berserker’s enemies, and the restorative properties of the storm as that which brings health to the land is reflected as a powerful restorative effect to Berserker’s allies.

Because of how this Noble Phantasm is based around earning Baal’s pity so he feels inclined to act, the dance which composes this Noble Phantasm is one which involves ‘passionate movement to the point of harm’. Therefore, this Noble Phantasm incurs a small self-injury demerit upon activation, and Berserker herself is exempt from its healing effect.

Shatiqatu Ékstatsis

Unite with Me, Crusher of Death

‘Ahahaha! This feeling… O Death - be crushed! O Shatiqatu - be powerful! Shatiqatu Ékstatsis!’

NP type: Anti-Unit (self)
Rank: A
Range: 0
Targets: 1 person

Berserker’s secondary Noble Phantasm. A form of ecstatic dance, a religious dance where one gives themselves fully over to their passions, and enters a trance state. While the traditional purposes of these dances vary, in the case of this Noble Phantasm, it is the ancient form in which the purpose is the removal of the mind and body from normal state of function, so as to render the performer better compatible with possession by the divine, such as in the rites performed in Ancient Greece where one would use dance alongside hallucinogenic drugs to become a vessel for the divine madness of the god Dionysus.

In this case, this is a dance in which Berserker reshapes herself mentally into a vessel for the minor Canaanite god Shatiqatu. As this figure was created to heal her father, this is the only divinity which Berserker still has unambiguously positive feelings towards, and therefore enough compatibility to allow the inhabitation of. Both Berserker and Shatiqatu are connected by their shared nature as ‘the one who healed Keret’.

The function of this Noble Phantasm is, in short, using dance as a ritual and herself as a medium to allow the partial chain summoning of a Divine Spirit. Shatiqatu boosts Berserker’s parameters and Magecraft significantly, as well as enhancing her healing. As Shatiqatu’s name roughly translates to ‘one who casts away death’, Berserker is effectively immortal while under the effects of this Noble Phantasm.

While it enhances her ability as a Heroic Spirit immensely, this Noble Phantasm has several drawbacks. While her high level of Divinity prevents Berserker from immediately being killed upon activation, the cost of having a genuine Divine Spirit, even a minor one, share her Saint Graph is immense. This Noble Phantasm requires an enormous amount of magical energy to sustain itself for even a few minutes, and after ending, Berserker’s parameters and Skills will be permanently ranked down for the remainder of her summoning. Using this Noble Phantasm a second time will have Berserker be fully subsumed by her own Divine nature upon it’s end, and have her ascend to a part of Shatiqatu upon it’s conclusion; she will immediately be desummoned. Thus, this is a Noble Phantasm which requires judiciousness in its usage.

Bond Craft Essence

The Lost Legend of Keret


Source

‘Do you want to know something funny, Master? My name, Tatmanat, I’m sure it sounds strange and wondrous
to your modern ear… but truthfully, all it means is ‘the eighth’, for I was the eighth daughter of Keret.

Isn’t that hilarious?! Here I am, a Heroic Spirit, among humanity’s greatest… And I was so overlooked by my father by the time of my birth he couldn’t even give me a proper name! Hahahaha!

…

…My father was not a good person. I cannot ignore that truth. He dragged his people into war over his selfish fears for his own legacy, he forced my mother to marry him to defend her people… he was arrogant, and dishonest to the gods even as they supported him.

But… he had a good side too. He still cared for his people, and tried his best as a king when it came to matters outside his personal life. And for that good side, and how he gave me so many opportunities, I loved him. I could not have performed that dance if I hadn’t been one of the few who saw what he was, or perhaps could be, beyond it all.

Even now, I pray for him finding some peace, some chance of redemption of his legacy, elsewhere amongst the Kaleidoscope.
And so, even after everything that happened, that he wrought… for him, and mother, and all my siblings… I shall continue to dance.’

Creator's Notes

This one's a bit of a stretch, since this figure, minor and fragmented at their story is, doesn't technically dance at all in their story. Therefore a lot of this is extrapolation, based on the assumption that in the gaps we have, what happened is that they did dance. Hear me out though, the connections fit together perfectly: I already detailed the account of priests of Baal dancing as part of prayer from part of the Bible and how it works with what Tatmanat is most known for is her prayer to Baal. Also, Marqod, the god and namesake of the word dance in the Ugaritic language, was known to be associated with earthquakes, which fits with how Keret's illness caused the land to suffer a drought as well, and the description of what happened before the rainfall in the Legend of Keret itself described 'the heavens and earth shaking' (paraphrased). Seeing all of this and the role of dance as prayer in ancient Semitic cultures in general made me think 'yeah, I can do this', particularly since there was much bigger jumps in logic in sheets for the previous contest.

The quote at the beginning of the sheet was attributed to Rob Marshall where I found it. I am not knowledgeable enough to confirm whether that fact was the internet lying to me or not.

I might make a more 'obvious' sheet later in the month if the 'obvious choice' candidate I have my eye on isn't scooped up. For now though, I hope you enjoyed this read!

[Anju Addams]

Never ask me to enter a contest again. This was torture. Fun, but still torture. Anyway, enjoy.

HEAVENLY ALARMING GODDESS

Statistics
True Name Ame no Uzume Class Ruler Alternate Class Saver Alignment Neutral Good Gender Identity Female
Height 158cm Weight Unknown Attribute Heaven Armament Mirror
Compatible Master Fujimaru Ritsuka Titles The Great Persuader | Heavenly Alarming Female | Ame no Uzume no Mikoto
Source Japanese Mythology Region Japan Natural Enemy Susanoo Manifestation Cost Medium

Traits Divine | Japanese Servant | Goddess Servant | Pseudo Servant | Living Person Star Rarity Five Star
Command Card Quick | Quick | Quick | Buster | Arts Character Artist Kaboplus Ko (Pixiv)
Character Voice Sekine Akira Scenario Creator Anju Addams
Main Works Appearance Fate/Grand Order

Parameters
STRENGTH RANK E | ENDURANCE RANK E | AGILITY RANK A | MAGIC RANK A | LUCK RANK A | NOBLE PHANTASM RANK EX

Class Skills
Resolution Of God Rank A Plus
The privilege given to those ruling over the Holy Grail War. A right to command other opposing Servants. Two Command Seals for each Servant in the Grail War are acquired. Repurposing them is further possible through the power of a divine god. Not only that but the will of the host too. Something commanding about them shines through even the divine spirit of Ame herself. In other words, remnants of a past as the Master are still buried deep inside.

True Name Discernment Rank A
A specialised Class Skill belonging to the Ruler Class. A power to unveil information about Heroic Spirits. Servants encountered will have their details automatically revealed. True Names, Classes, Personal Skills and even the secret Noble Phantasm. Nothing escapes from the discerning eye of Ame no Uzume. Everything becomes uncovered in a single glance. No luck check for concealed Servants is needed either. They are not immune to this. As such, perhaps that is the ability of the host herself instead of the Ruler.

Magic Resistance Rank A
A protection against deployed Magecraft. The negation of magical effects. Rank A spells or those of a lesser power are prevented from affecting Ruler.
High Thaumaturgy and Greater Rituals are no problem anymore. Magic is just invalidated against Ame no Uzume. Even divine magic from other gods shall struggle to get through such defensive attributes. Simply put, powerful magic resistance fit for a divine spirit is acquired.

Personal Skills
Divine Core Of The Goddess Rank B
The mark of a perfect goddess from the heavenly skies. A composite skill with several effects. Acquisition of the Divinity skill is given along with mental resistance. No despair or mind control shall ever affect the dawning goddess. Even changes to the body itself cannot occur any longer. Calories never make her fat regardless of how much she actually eats. However, being hosted in a human body prevents the rank from ever increasing.

Kagura Performance Rank A
A dance style that Ame no Uzume originally created. The special ritual utilised by shrine maidens. Various attributes can be gained from simply dancing. Exorcism of evil spirits. Controlling of the weather. Channelling the gods. Even powerful holy thaumaturgies are temporarily granted in exchange. Such is the power belonging to those extraordinary maidens. Naturally, Ame no Uzume herself has obtained this skill at high ranks. Increased timespan is given to each different effect used. Most last twice as long as they would normally do.

Proof Of Friendship Rank EX
The ability to easily connect with people emotionally. A Skill belonging to the host body itself. Opposing Servants are reduced in fighting spirit upon meeting Ruler. Friendly dialogue should then become opened up between both sides. Regardless of ideologies. Regardless of Alignment. Heroic Spirits just feel some kind of familiarity if interacting with Ame no Uzume. Almost like they had met before and become trusted allies in another world. In that regard, even Skills like Mental Pollution do not prevent befriending attempts. Everyone will come to love a divine goddess herself in the end.

Noble Phantasms
Yata No Kagami - Eightfold Blessing Of Amaterasu
Rank B | Type Anti Army | Range One To Fifty | Maximum No. Of Targets Three Hundred Persons

The ornate mirror Ruler hung from a certain tree. A divine tool that caught a reflection of the sun coming from the cave. A weapon that became one of the three great Japanese treasures of legend. Divine fire can be shot out from the reflective surface in quick succession. Giant beams of holy light that blast across the environment. Anything caught within is reduced to black ash. Evil beings like curses, Dead Apostles and ghosts especially too. Each one is burned away in a torrent of divine energy. Ame no Uzume is capable of dealing this much destruction herself alone. However, infinite magical energy or raising the dead is no longer possible sadly. Only Amaterasu herself possesses the Authority to achieve such. Just the tiniest little reflection of the sun is represented in here.

Amano Yasugawara - Dance Of The Rising Sun
Rank EX | Type Anti Divinity | Range One To Ninety-Nine| Maximum No. Of Targets One Thousand Persons

The nude dance performed by Ruler to unleash the sun. A stunning performance that brings forth the dawn. The original ability which shrine maidens derived their powers from. Dawn may be unleashed upon the world through performing a special strip tease. Evening turns to morning. Midnight turns to morning. Other time periods are made into the rising of the sun. All the power of Amaterasu pours forth from the Yata Mirror in other words. Powerful effects are spread out from the origin point. Destruction of evil entities using holy light. Collective buffing of each allied force. Reduction of mental interference itself. Even Ame no Uzume is granted powerful holy thaumaturgy without needing to channel Amaterasu again. Yet, all her clothes must be taken off before finishing the activation dance itself. Many Heroic Spirits must be present and partying along with her too. Nothing will work otherwise in this respect actually. Naught but the barest sliver of the sun goddess will be unleashed instead.

Personage
FIRST PRONOUN ATAI | SECOND PRONOUN ANATA | THIRD PRONOUN ANOKATA | PERSONAL PRONOUNS SHE/HER

Personality
A fashionista-type person who likes being popular. The tone of her speech is extremely distinct and seems popular with modern Japanese youths. One of the more extremely infamous Gyaru gals in simpler terms. Like I totes love your skirt! Words akin to that spew from her teasing lips. Fashion is but another part of her like everything else is. Always wanting to look nice and presentable. Divine gods such as Ame no Uzume must forever appear at their best after all. Such is the case with this particular one anyway.

Positive feelings shall then eternally be showcased upon her face. No time towards sadness is given. Only thinking about the next great party is what truly should be important instead. Most people are thus cheered up whilst being in her mere presence actually. Each cannot help but just find rapport with Ame no Uzume. Everyone will get invited to events she happens to be hosting regardless. No matter if they are a lowly nerd or a silent introvert. Fun is found with Uzume. In other words, someone who wishes to be friends with everyone.

Even getting naked in front of those people is no issue. Baring it all is the divine providence of a godly beauty like herself. Embarrassment is not felt in the slightest.
Extreme reactions to this become teased and joked about instead though. Flirtation acts with them might end up occurring. Ame no Uzume is attracted to most anyone. Regardless of sexual identity or gender in truth. Yet, nothing ever goes anywhere beyond such a light teasing surprisingly. Only her husband from the past truly holds her genuine affections. Everything else is but a bit of stupid fun to cheer people up.

Slivers of the personality belonging to the host show up sometimes though. Tomboyish words might slip out. Mention of Servants as being old friends will happen quite often too. Reverting back into her commanding days as a Master might occur then. Shockingly strict actions and tactics based on Servant abilities are such good examples of this really occurring. Ame no Uzume herself does not mind in that particular regard. Proof of Friendship being evidence of the Master inside enables her to make countless friends she would never have before. Someone to take clothes shopping. Someone to take selfies with. Someone to know.

For that reason, Ame no Uzume will forever attempt to make people enjoy life. No person should ever wallow in self-pity.

Attitude Toward The Master
A person who easily gets along with the Master if given one. Especially when the master is actually her host body. Communion with them becomes very simple in this case. Despite the awkward situation for Fujimaru Ritsuka caused by the goddess. Ame no Uzume treats them with respect. Like an honoured bunrei that deserves praise straight from the original divinity.

Orders will be followed to the most perfect degree. No bad blood needs to be made between them. Difficulties arising from the host body may appear otherwise. Saving the future of humanity is important to Ame herself anyways. Fashion would no longer exist. Dance parties would no longer occur. Obeying a Master who is actually also herself is no longer a problem then. Everything turns to merely having fun with the original host self instead. In simple terms, hanging out and playing for hours on end. Happiness and satisfaction of the host must take top priority. Not just because that person will become her body though. Ame truly loves them.

Different Masters not from Chaldea are treated separately however. Evil people are looked at with disdain. Not a single shred of help will be given to those who commit horrid crimes. Good folk are treated with slight suspicion. Only her host self can be trusted. Masters who save others and act selflessly will eventually make her warm up to them in the end though. Someone like Shirou Emiya would be a great example of this.

Dialogue Examples
Summoned Heya! Ame no Uzume is here to partai! Now, don’t be surprised. You like knew this was coming right?

Likes I guess I like dancing and stuff. I dunno. Getting naked too actually. Yeah, totally fun!

Dislikes Like prudes who keep telling me what I can and can’t do. Total buzzkill. My body means my rules! Wait. This ain’t my body though is it? Ah.

Holy Grail Can I like use this to summon Amaterasu here? I wanna partai with her! Nah, just joking. I don’t need a stupid cup.

Birthday Happy birthday me! I mean you. We should eat some cake then partai all night. Oh yeah! Let's get naked in here!

Event Something is like happening right? Alright! Time to boogie! Strip tease time!

Bond Lines
Bond Level One Heya! Just wanted to hang out and see if you wanna do anything.

Bond Level Two Like I guess everyone has seen you naked now huh? Sorry about that. Totes did not want to make you uncomfortable. Eh? You don’t mind? Right. I guess that’s like the reason I ma- err…chose you.

Bond Level Three Hmm? The you that exists in the future and that I took over? Sorry. Like no spoilers! I ain’t causing a paradox.

Bond Level Four I am you and you are me. Two sides of the same coin. I cannot tell you the future but you should raise your head and be proud. Honestly. Wonderful things are waiting for you in the coming days.

Bond Level Five I am the existence who makes the sun rise each day. The sun rises because of me in other words. This is now a constant. Hope itself in simpler terms. People have faith in the future because of the sun. People have hope for the future because the sun always rises. What I mean is this - when the world is destroyed and all hope is lost. Only you remain. You are that hope and that hope is me.

Relationships
Tamamo Nine Ammy babes! Let’s dance up a storm. Eh? Why are you drooling at me? Oh, I get it you horny dog! Or jackal fox. Whatevs. Like just get naked.

Kijyo Koyo Huh. All my dancing led to a legend being made about you huh? Neato. I like should totally check out this Noh stuff!

Gilgamesh AOU Cast Off eh? I like your style hot golden dude. Wanna dance?

Idunn Those apples of yours are like defo working for you girl! Flaunt it if you got it! You’ve got like a million years to partai! Ah…even longer than that!?

Mashu Hello Mashu. It’s been some time since I last saw you. Ever since you went off to university. Wait. Ignore that!

Legend
A goddess of the dawn and dance. A deity of mirth and revelry. One of the divine existences mentioned in several accounts of Japanese Shinto myths and legends. Someone still worshipped for her actions in saving the earth even today. Everybody that knows of Shintoism can be said to know her name. Ame no Uzume no Mikoto is her. The flaunting goddess that revels in getting naked. After all, what other reason to live apart from having fun could possibly exist? Divine spirit Ame saved the world for that exact same reason.

Everything would have become winter for eternity otherwise. Sun goddess Amaterasu sealed herself in a cave and never came out. Susanoo and his silly actions were to blame. Destroying her rice fields. Murdering one of her maidens. Flaying a horse. Even Amaterasu became furious upon seeing that. Retreating to the Amano Iwato cave was done to quell her overwhelming anger. But, such actions nearly caused the freezing of the world. No sun would come out.

No god was thus able to make Amaterasu leave her hiding spot either. Ame no Uzume therefore gathered everyone through the advice of Omoikane and threw a godly party. Even a certain mirror was cleverly hung on a certain tree. Yet, Amaterasu refused to emerge. Only standing on a tub to perform a strip tease was the one thing Uzume could do best instead. However, such a stupid action really worked in bringing out the sun itself.

Amaterasu saw that everyone was having fun and peered out from inside afterward. Glimpsing her own reflection in a certain mirror convinced her further. Staying inside was boring. All the interesting stuff happened outside. Like her shining reflection appearing before her eyes. As such, Ame no Uzume prevented certain destruction from affecting the globe. Tales of her dance spread through Japan from that day forth. Mortal souls thus emulated her actions and developed dances of their own. Ones that could summon gods and bring about magical mysteries. Shrine maidens therefore owe their existence to Ame no Uzume. Every single one is classed as descending from her.

Game Universe Depiction
A goddess of the dawn and dance that brings about the rising sun. A divine spirit that brings about a certainty. The sun coming up in the morning lies in the faith of humans. No future would exist without that reason. Everything would be pointless. Ame no Uzume lives to bring out that hope. People need the sun to rise to live and Ame needs the people. Yet, something terrible occurred in the near future of earth.

Everything about the human order was suddenly destroyed. All the people burned and only ash remained. Ame no Uzume perceived this and cried at what had happened to the world. No hope lived in this desolate place. All that existed was pure despair. Something needed to be done about this disaster. Divine Spirit Ame no Uzume knew this so tried to ensure a happy future. Somewhere that humans could live in peace. Somewhere that hope would continue on. All she wished for was that imagined world in the end.

Therefore, she made sure the existence of a certain hopeful person. One soul who could truly fix everything that had occurred. One perfect Master who could unite every heroic spirit against the dark. That person is both herself and also not at the exact same time. Like a living bunrei born from humans that she subtly made to meet the other. As such, arriving in Chaldea occurred to ensure that new future Ame no Uzume now lives in comes true. Guidance will be given to the Master who brings about hope for humanity.

Creator Notes
A Servant created for the contest on Beast’s Lair. The theme was Dancer this time. Odette from Swan Lake was actually my original choice but then I saw Ame no Uzume and decided that idea would be better. Divine Spirits that can do a strip tease to summon Amaterasu seems hilarious. Some of it was quite hard though. Deciding the Pseudo Servant form went through many different choices.

Rin in a miko outfit. Illya in a miko outfit. Kohaku and Hisui for the shrine maiden blood in their lineage. That ghost girl from Kara no Kyoukai for the same reason.
In the end, Gudako was chosen out of all the others instead. I liked the idea of making the ‘FGO Master makes every Servant fall in love with them’ meme into a Servant who wants to party with everyone.

Such is the reason for the Proof of Friendship Skill actually of course. Kagura Performance was chosen for the connection to shrine maidens and I also gave her the same mirror as Tamamo to actually give her a non-limited Noble Phantasm. Ruler was also chosen as the Class Template because I did not want to write another Caster. Saver might have worked too but I think Ruler is fine for this.

Furthermore, I added the whole backstory about Gudako being hope and being born from Ame to spice things up. We really do not know anything about the FGO Master truthfully speaking. Thought it would be interesting to posit the idea that someone made sure they were created to literally save the future.

Anyway, this is actually the first sheet I finished in years. Only the first draft mind you. I wrote this whole thing in a few days without any edits to the fluff so it might be a little too simple. I did not want to write a complicated sheet though. Sometimes big ones can be detrimental. Ones the audience can digest feel more appropriate for a competition. Hope you all like it and enjoy it at least. I had lots of fun even if I do not win.

[Kabalisto Koga]

The third day broke and passed two additional servants accended out of the mmist of time, one beautty from an dear friend though time to indulge in the beauties glory i not have for i must find my own might she be appreciated ?

[Salt Pillar]

I didn't expect Feminist-Miriam will be such a success! The idea that Tzara'at is the mark of prophets was raised in some Feminist-Bible website, actually! I found it super interesting and had to include it. Maybe next time I'll do the trans-reading for Isaac woke bible seems to work really well for servant lore lol

Now, regarding the class, I have to admit, I think I forgot to add anything beyond Magic Resistance. Not that I can come up with anything if I look at it now...but I probably could've sneaked in another chunky lore dump somewhere. Item construction, maybe? For the Well of Miriam? I'll leave that for the redux edition...

[NINE-lives]

Trans reading isaac? mind elaborating on that?

[Salt Pillar]

It's... an entire thing. You should google it, it's pretty interesting

[jishara]

Source: Glimja

Class: Assassin
Other Classes: N/A
True Name: Tilottama
Alignment: Chaotic Good
Place of Origin: Indian Mythology
Stars: 4/5

Parameters:

STR: C
END: B
AGI: B
MGI: A
LCK: C
NP: A+

Height: 171cm
Weight: 110lbs
Likes: Being listened to
Dislikes: Conquerors
Talent: Dancing
Natural Enemy: Yeongsangun, Lola Montez
Attribute: Sky
Traits: Female, Divine, Humanoid
Armament: Jewels
Catalyst: An extraordinarily beautiful jewel

Class Skills:

Shining Lustre A: The sublimation of Brahma's statement that no one would be able to look at her due to her luster. She cannot be truly seen or her presence detected thanks to her luster. However, this wears off over time per target. Her equivalent to Presence Concealment.

Personal Skills:

Bejeweled Core EX: The sublimation of her creation. She was created by the gods out of "all that is beautiful in the universe" and every jewel that they could find. This manifests in the form of a passive charm spell around her. In addition, parts of her body can be removed and transformed into the form of jewels, and beauty around her enhances her, building into part of her and making her grow taller and more powerful, as well as increasing her number of arms.

Look Upon Me With A Thousand Eyes A: The sublimation of Indra growing a thousand eyes with which to look apon her more. These thousand eyes constantly watch the area around her, notifying her of anything which enters. They can see through Presence Concealment below A rank. She can also direct them to check a location, but less information will be gleaned.

Curse of Separation A: The sublimation of the curse she placed upon King Sahasranika after he didn't listen to her, focused on dreaming about his sweetheart, the apsara Alambusa. This curse manifested in the form of forced seperation from Alambusa for 14 years. This manifests in the form of a curse which she can place, forcing apart the target from the people they most care about. This tends to include their Servant.

Apsara B: The sublimation of her status as one of the Apsara, the Celestial Dancers who live at the Court of Indra. This manifests in the form of an enhancement to her dancing. Whenever she dances, the charm spell around her grows much more powerful, as does the sight of A Thousand Eyes. Naturally, this ends whenever she stops dancing.

Noble Phantasm(s):


Prakaash Ko Chuppana
The Two Eyes Of The Universe, Hidden

Type: Anti-Fortress
Rank: A+
Range: 100 meters
Max Targets: 1000 targets

The sublimation of Shiva creating his third eye to watch her after Parvati covered his other eyes. This manifests in the form of a pair of effects. First, imitating Parvati covering the eyes, she can shroud an area in darkness. Secondly, and more powerfully, she can channel the power of Shiva's third eye in the form of a titanic beam of pure flame that emanates from an area on her forehead. Fitting for Shiva's powers over destruction, this beam cleanses the world, gaining more power against enemies who are Evil.


Asur Kee Mrtyu
Death of Sunda and Upasunda

Type: Anti-Army
Rank: B
Range: 30 meters
Maximum Targets: 10 targets

The sublimation of her role in the death of the asuras Sunda and Upasunda, who she was created to destroy. Upon laying eyes on her, the two began to fight over her, and ended up destroying each other, for their blessing of invulnerability worked against anything but each other. When the true name of this Noble Phantasm is called, if she has one or more enemies nearby and at least one of them is attacking her or someone other than one of her enemies, the blows are automatically redirected to a random one of the other enemies. These blows bypass protective Skills and Noble Phantasms at or below B rank. However, she can only hold this Noble Phantasm for a short time.

Lore: Tilottama was an Apsara. She was created out of all that was beautiful in the universe, as well as every jewel in it, in order to defeat Sunda and Upasunda, who had received blessings that they could not be harmed by anyone other than each other. Upon laying eyes on her, the two, incited by her, fought over her and both died.

Personality: A serene person. She utterly hates those who attempt to conquer or press their will on anyone, and will try to intervene and destroy them if she can. In a battle such as this, she prefers to utilize Asur Kee Mrtyu to crush them with their own force. Her wish for the Holy Grail is undecided, and will deeply depend on the circumstances, though a likely one might be reincarnation to punish the evildoers of the modern day.

Relationships:

Lola Montez: "You are... certainly strange."

Marozia: "Darkness is indeed soothing, but evil is not."

Ame-no-Uzume: "Your spirit is certainly infectious!"

Wallada Bint Al Mustakfi: "Your use of shadow is interesting. Like me, though on a smaller scale."

Yeongsangun: "You truly believe you should not have been deposed? Asur Kee Mrtyu! Now fight me!"

[DracoScribe]

Tatmanat: ...you just had to start with that quote. You just had to start with that quote. Words cannot describe how much that quote resonated with me the first time I heard it and how much it resonates still now. So already I'm inclined to like this sheet for that alone (and can confirm that...I ended up going down a rabbit hole to be sure about the source of the quote and all I can be sure of is that it's a proverb for musicals and stuff, and that the specific quote you used is Rob Marshall's wording for it). And thankfully for me, I did end up still liking it after that huge (and unintentional) punch at the start. The story you tell, the story of a daughter desperate to save her father only for it all to be naught, has convinced me enough that, yeah, I can see why you'd come to this story when you explain how much you were extrapolating, and now it's hard to imagine it any other way. It was great learning about yet another figure that much of the details on her has been lost. Her skills and NPs are mostly straightforward, save for maybe the second NP by virtue of I don't think "god channeling" is that common, but that's totally fine. Especially as my favorite part of the sheet is definitely the skill, Ancient Sacred Dance. The dancing counterpart for High-Speed Divine Words? One that can still communicate to those of the modern day? I just...AGGGHHHH you don't know how much that pleases me, all I can deacribe it is going "YES. YES. YES. YES", over it. Another treat for me to read.

Ame-no-Uzume (Again!): First off: my god her fucking manner of speech is killing me. i love it. Next...huh. Interesting way to go about with her, having Ritsuka/Gudako as her vessel, and not without reason either. I actually like the thematic reasons for it, equating the dawn with hope for the future, a symbolism I'm a sucker for because of Fire Emblem. The actual backstory (ie what Ame-no-Uzume did) though, I'm not sure in the sense of "I don't mind but somehow I feel like someone might". I think it's because it might seem a bit "too" convenient, but personally I don't mind. It's interesting for me at least. Everything else was definitely nice to read. I was curious why in the world Ame-no-Uzume was Ruler class and then I realized it's because of Ritsuka (nice FC art btw, I like it) and I liked it was half and half. I don't know. Just seems neat to me, even if there's a little voice in my head that's saying it's not that "good".
Prose wise though, it felt...weird? Like for the most part it's fine, but the way sentences are "divided" makes it feel like. Ending premturely. And continuing on. At points where it's fine. But sometime's just feels. Disjointed. As I just demonstrated. That's what it felt like to me. It's most exacerbated/noticeable when outside the skill sections/longer paragraphs. It didn't ruin any enjoyment I had, just something I noticed and felt I needed to point.
Again, glad you decided to put this up despite getting your choice sniped by someone else! And the torture.
i said it once and i'll say it again: i swear i'm not trying to torture any of you guys all right

Tilottama: Ah, yup, okay, everything's back to normal as I'm pretty neutral about this. Turns out it was just my fondness for Ame-no-Uzume (and fondness I didn't realize the extent of til now...). But I digress. This sheet. I'll give props for the more obscure figure pick, I appreciate it. But I'm gonna be a broken record if I keep going, as my criticisms remain the same and also includes some of the criticism others have said before, so I'll stop there.

[Nuclear]

Miriam: I don't get what's supposed to be so impressive about this sheet. You took a beloved female figure, chosen by God despite her brokenness, and turned her into a generic, Disney-patented, Mary Sue girlboss. Let me explain:

[*]Traits: Female, Humanoid, Not Weak to Enuma Elish

Not weak to Enuma Elish! Off to a good start, I see.

Horah: A+

In the beginning, when God created the heavens and the earth, the world was stagnant. It stood endless against the tides of the abyssal sea until it fell and crumbled. In another beginning, when God did as He does, the world was circular, returning from chaos to chaos, beginning to beginning. Peace was eternal, but humanity was stagnant; there was nothing else to conquer, and there was no drive in a world so perfectly balanced. In our beginning, God created a linear world—a story, with a beginning, a middle, and an end. Humanity was no longer equal: nature was underneath god, man was underneath nature, and women were underneath men.

Miriam danced to her heart's content. Once the Hebrews broke the chains of slavery, she broke the chains of conformity. Her spirit could no longer yield to her physical body, and so she danced. She yelled to the others, and led them into a song of praise and a dance greater than all others; she broke into Horah, a type of circle dance that connects one to the former genesis, the one where both man and woman stood equal, side by side, as Miriam did with her brothers. They were equal prophets, sent by the Lord to save the Hebrews, together. This was what distinguished the Hebrews from the others, in the eyes of the Lord—they could understand what stood before the universe and connect to it.

Upon dancing, Miriam can accomplish unfathomable miracles and completely subdue nature to her will. As the Lord dictated, she shalt bear his image and receive all that exists in the world.

Probably the only good part of this sheet, but not for the reasons you think. A bad Catholic once said that liberalism is a heresy that, like all heresies, does not know that it is one. I genuinely hadn't thought of testing out whether that statement held true of individual liberal cults such as that of feminism, so an unironic kudos for doing the proving my hypothesis true!

Tzara'at: —
It is leprosy, some might say, but this is a brazen mistake. Her younger brother, Moses, was forced to divorce his wife, Tziporah, as per God's command. Finding her outrageously righteous, Miriam and her brother Aaron both censured Moses for separating from his wife so suddenly, saying that both of them were prophets as well, but neither had to divorce their respective spouses. God rebuked them by calling them all out "suddenly", causing Miriam and Aaron a great burning sensation since they lacked immersion in a mikva after marital relations. God thus demonstrated to them Moses' unique level of prophecy for which he had to be prepared at all times, justifying his separation from Tzipora.

Afterward, they endured God's wrath. Miriam was cursed with Tzara'at, but Aaron, who was the High Priest, was spared. It didn't take long for God to regret this decision, as the Hebrews fought vehemently so that Miriam would be restored to proper health.

Miriam is not the only person in her family who speaks before God with temerity and as a result, is temporarily rendered a leper. When Moses initially refuses God’s command from the burning bush to go back to Egypt, God responds by giving him tzara’at, providing confirmation for the Israelites that Moses is to be heeded as a prophet of God. This mark, then, is not leprosy at all. It is the mark of God, snow-white scales that signify one's role as a true prophet of the lord. This acts as a composite skill, involving Saint A, Revelation A+, Charisma B and Divinity C.

If tzara'at is "the mark of God", marking one as "a true prophet of the lord [sic]", as you say, then why does it render the afflicted ritually impure? Surely those marked with God's sign should be permitted to worship him along with the rest of the chosen people. Also, if tzara'at is supposed to be this big-deal sign of God's favor, then why does God use it to punish Gehazi and Uzziah? Or are we supposed to treat these figures as some sort of special prophets on the same level as Moses and Miriam, too?

"I never wanted this post, Sister. I tried to tell Him I was not suited for this, but he insisted. Beware of what you ask for, for God has answered and etched the power of prophecy onto you. Now, you too must shoulder this journey and carry all those men and women whom you never birthed, and whom you would've never mothered otherwise."

Ah, yes. Gimping the MC's male counterparts to make her appear stronger.

"Don't worry, Brother. I have always yearned to rebel for a cause."

Another Disney girlboss classic. Pointless boasting, combined with my most beloved of Beast's Lair traditions: making Biblical characters hate God for no discernible reason!

These are still two of the central figures of the Exodus, yes? Because I didn't know any better, I'd say these two would've been buried with the Korahites.
Soo, yes. It's a yikes from me, dawg.

---

I didn't expect Feminist-Miriam will be such a success! The idea that Tzara'at is the mark of prophets was raised in some Feminist-Bible website, actually! I found it super interesting and had to include it. Maybe next time I'll do the trans-reading for Isaac woke bible seems to work really well for servant lore lol

People who read the Bible like this are the same people who read Black Beauty and think it enables horse fucking.

I'd tell them to read another book, but out of respect for the book and these people's crippling lack of reading comprehension (save for those times when they project their perversions onto the text), I'd probably be better off telling them to jack off in front of a mirror.

[NINE-lives]

Bro what the fuck.

[DelRey]

oh wow, harsh words.
I wont take a particular stance here.
Nuclear knows the scripts and history better than I do. Having comprehensive knowledge about certain servants and seeing others tackle them in a, imo, wrong way, ticked me off too at times.

[pinetree]

There's legit criticism there, especially how the leprosy angle doesn't work when you look at it outside this one sheet, but Nuclear should have taken some time to chill the fuck out before posting.
A moment of vulnerability from Moses is gimping him? I mean I grew up catholic and this is was an extremely common interpretation to see in religious media. Miriam doesn't even speak against God really, so what's this about hating him? I thought the mary sue criticism would be about the idea that God would regret anything to begin with (aka be wrong).
Like "Don't worry, Brother. I have always yearned to rebel for a cause." is cringe but it shouldn't be enough to trigger a vitriolic rant.