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Thread: Monthly Create-A-Servant Contest

  1. #541
    鬼 Ogre-like You's Avatar
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    alcatraz was really really good
    good like i want to rp him good
    Though abandoned, forgotten, and scorned as out-of-date dolls, they continue to carry out their mission, unchanged from the time they were designed.
    Machines do not lose their worth when a newer model appears.
    Their worth (life) ends when humans can no longer bear that purity.
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  2. #542
    Dancing Fairy Sunny's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by You View Post
    good like i want to rp him good
    Totally seriously among the highest of praises, too.

    Congratulations, arid. ^^

    This was a very rewarding month for sheets and it was fun to see the results. The winner deserved it and everyone had some really cool and creative combinations. Don't feel bad if you didn't get that many points - I imagine almost everyone had plenty of times when they were a close 4th or 5th place, especially in this crop.


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    心に抱くその物語
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  3. #543
    リビングデッド Living Dead Aridwolverine's Avatar
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    Wow, I can't believe I actually won the contest! When I first entered the contest I was content, or rather thought, to get at least one vote. But to actually win first place...I'm surprised. I don't know what else to say but thank you all. Not just to the ones that voted for me, but also to those who participated and made very awesome sheets. It was pretty fun.

  4. #544
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six Zork Knight's Avatar
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    After Maria Ursula only getting voted once last contest, 2nd place is way more than what I expected. Specially with so many great and creative sheets this time around.

    Thank you to my voters and congratulations to the winner.

    Until December, I guess.

  5. #545
    吸血鬼 Vampire Bylackbre's Avatar
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    Any idea for what the theme of the next competition will be Aridwolverine?

  6. #546
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six asterism42's Avatar
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    le secret
    Quote Originally Posted by Sandstorm77 View Post
    He's just putting the bone of his sword into other people until it explodes and lets out parts of him inside them.
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  7. #547
    It's All Good! 4score7years's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bylackbre View Post
    Any idea for what the theme of the next competition will be Aridwolverine?
    If he says it now itís kind of a 2 month contest really, which is not as intended

  8. #548
    I? I am Ardneh. Funderfullness's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 4score7years View Post
    Caster - Johnny + Guiseppe Tartini by Funderfullness: Theme and character choices are excellent but I would have liked to see more discussion/exploration of the similarities/contrast between the two in their interactions with the devil. And yeah, and JetKinen said, there's a small disconnect in the first NP where he's a binder of demons and yet the story goes that he is unable to achieve the devil's perfection.
    Archer - Jack Fiddler + Gaasyendietha by Funderfullness: Weirdly, I think this one kind of suffers in comparison to your original Jack Fiddler sheet. It feels like we're losing a bit of each character to make this fusion happen when the fusion should be adding to both.
    I blame this on a) me not understanding Phantoms as well as I thought I did and b) tunnel vision-writing when faced with a deadline. I don't typically get criticism for my sheets; I usually say "no news is good news" but now I'm not so sure. I'm not happy with Fiddler; I ended up reaching and stretching cause I couldn't come up with anything else. Ah well, there's always next contest and/or the regular thread.
    "We don't need martyrs right now. We need heroes. A hero would die for his country, but he'd much rather live for it." -Josiah Bartlet

    List of Servants I've made

  9. #549
    吸血鬼 Vampire Alexcoene's Avatar
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    Well, at least I know now that I have to make my sheet for the next contest stand out more.
    To Aridwolverine, it was a completely deserved win. Congralutations.

  10. #550
    Dancing Fairy Sunny's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sunny View Post
    I'll still do the other 2/3 tomorrow,
    Aha...ha...ha...

    Well, life finds a way to interrupt that. To keep a delayed promise and for posterity's sake, at the least, this gets me to 2/3 and the limits of my stamina tonight.

    Spoiler:
    Tallemaja + Arsene Lupin
    The sheet doesn't really fully explain Tallemaja, which I was unfamiliar with - is it the woman washing her kids or the kids? It's a curious combination that makes for a neat appearance description, but a very mish-mashed character without a lot of effort to link them up. Still, it was a good effort and didn't just go with the low-hanging fruit of purely Lupin skill.


    Anna Ioannovna+ The Snow Queen
    I liked the faceclaim a lot. Though I'm not sure I'd call some of those skills "skills" - I might have rolled them into a separate abilities subsection rather than try to characterize them as personal skills, since they're generally so specific to her. The summoning condition


    Alcatraz
    He won the round, so that speaks well to the quality of the sheet already, but I'll go into some more detail. This was a nice complete package - a fitting faceclaim, good NPs, and a nice mix of new skills and repurposed older skills, all of which suit a well-written out theme. This is a nice litmus test for what a sheet should aspire to, even if a few others charmed me more. This would've been a tough to exclude runner-up in my list.


    Kunti + Kuntilanak
    Huh. I can see why you put them together, and Kunti was a nice choice to add to the Karna/Arjuna servant family. You really went all out on the bio/personality, but I think you went a bit heavy on the skills. Five personal skills with three more from invoking Kuntilanak - that has to be a record. I really did like Hero Creation on this sheet though as well as the Krishna skill.


    Arsene Lupin
    So I mentioned low-hanging fruit before? I think you picked very appropriate skills and 'Casing' was an interesting specific variation on the strategy skills, but Lupin really seems to control the show despite being an amalgam of 200 thieves. That's a lot of personalities crammed into one without any real detriment to him.


    Natty Bummpo + Awi Usdi
    This was interesting since I knew absolutely nothing about either of them prior to the sheet. A strong faceclaim, too. The skills were a bit plain, but appropriate, and a nice use of Cu Proto's Beast Killer. The NPs are an interesting pair in that one is only useful versus beasts and one only works against humans - but it also has the effect of making him feel a bit weaker. The paralysis one is useful, though. He was a good sheet, but it just felt like something was missing.


    Chthulu + Vairocana
    This one was... interesting. Despite the goofy premises, you approached the skills pretty authentically, though they're rather massive, which I suppose fits a Saver with these components. The contest was more interesting for this being in it, but it felt too silly for me to actually give it a vote, as it didn't really have any human component at all.


    The Abductor
    This had the same problem as Chthulucana, IMO. I feel like a Servant needs at least some humanoid component and this is purely an alien without even a body.


    Little Match Girl
    A very creative, very sad choice and one of my other high-level runner-ups. All the skils were pretty creative, even the ones that borrowed other skills as a basis. By contrast, the NPs are a bit flat, though. But this was a great example of two stories complimenting each other quite well.


    Sasaki Kojiro
    Way to snipe, DW. Yet another of my close-call runner ups. A powerhouse version of Kojiro born from so many fusions was a very neat concept and "Musashi Gaeshi" made me laugh more than it should.


    Shiro Ishii
    Appropriate Hojo was appropriate. I'm not sold on the Pestilence aspect of the fusion, since it tiptoes on Strange Fake a bit. The NP was gross, but I can't help but feel the NP and skills are underdescribed and undertuned. A strong concept that needed more development.


    Jubei + Juuchi Yosamu
    Hm. I liked the choice for the fusion and this was a stronger use of Inversion Impulse on Jubei than the last round. It lacked a little something, but it was around the upper middle of the pack for me, so it's not bad by any means.

    Though, an aside. The sheet seems to alternate a LOT between calling him male and female, with no apparent basis for doing so. Mid-development rewrite?


    Cowardly Androcles Lion
    Sakutaro was a very nice faceclaim for this, lol. It was a pretty cute fusion and a nice rationale for being 'Lancer' due to the thorn. I didn't like Guardian Beast since IIRC that's already a skill, no? Geronimo has it. So I might have made it Guardian Beast (Self) or (False) or some equivalent. It was a nice entry, though maybe a bit rushed.


    Taira no Kiyomori
    Fiery! I liked the interlude more than the skills/NP, though he reminds me of Moriarty in that the phantom aspect only really serves to give him a method of basic attacks and doesn't bleed over into his skills or NP much at all. Not that that's a deal-breaker, since it works for Moriarty, and you do address it.
    Last edited by Sunny; November 12th, 2017 at 12:26 AM.


    A collection of silly little Saint Graph fragments

    心に抱くその物語
    何を知れば満たされるのだろう?

  11. #551
    It's All Good! 4score7years's Avatar
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    Alright, the 3rd (Bi-)Monthly Create-a-Servant Contest begins now.

    Last month's winner, Aridwolverine, submitted the following prompt:

    Quote Originally Posted by Aridwolverine
    Since the Holiday Season is coming up next month, the most appropriate prompt would be to have a Christmas themed contest! Servant sheets could to be Santa versions of other characters, for example Santa Asterios, Santa Nero etc. Mixing with Alter and Lily versions is allowed. Alternatively, contestants can write up servants that are already Christmas themed such as Santa Clause or Krampus.
    Lets be real, you probably saw this one coming. Good luck. Normally, you would have three weeks, but it really wouldn’t be appropriate to end it before Christmas, right? You have until 12:01 AM December 25th to submit sheets, afterwhich voting shall begin.

    On another important note, considering the previous minor controversies from Contests 1 and 2, you are now officially and as clearly as possible barred from submitting more than one sheet per submission unless specifically in a prompt centered around them. While some of the greatest submissions by far in this contest have been of multiple sheets, a move like this is nonetheless necessary to avoid repeated case-by-case confusion and ensure as even a playing field as possible. You are still allowed 2 submissions, but there must only be one sheet per submission. Moreover, submissions should be separate (your submissions must be able to stand alone).


    A few minutes early with the announcement. Regardless, Good luck!
    Last edited by 4score7years; December 1st, 2017 at 12:54 AM.

  12. #552
    wwwww Spartacus's Avatar
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    Can I submit a Christmas version Servant but not a Santa? For example, Hassan the Christmas Destroyer or something?

  13. #553
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six Bird of Hermes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spartacus View Post
    Can I submit a Christmas version Servant but not a Santa? For example, Hassan the Christmas Destroyer or something?
    I could buy King Hassan as Krampus

    - - - Updated - - -

    Too bad I did Santa a year ago though.
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  14. #554
    wwwww Spartacus's Avatar
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    I was thinking...
    Christmas presents but LOOT BOXES

  15. #555
    死徒 Dead Apostle zikari8's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spartacus View Post
    I was thinking...
    Christmas presents but LOOT BOXES
    Christmas Gilgamesh combines Gate of Babylon with Ea to create EA, a noble phantasm that gives people a sense of pride and accomplishment.


  16. #556
    It's All Good! 4score7years's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spartacus View Post
    Can I submit a Christmas version Servant but not a Santa? For example, Hassan the Christmas Destroyer or something?
    Sure

  17. #557
    死徒 Dead Apostle zikari8's Avatar
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    Elbegast (Christmas)

    "To all Santas this Christmas, fret not obtaining presents. On our names as elves, we will create the greatest toys in the world. Stand back and witness the generosity of a first-class villain!"


    True Name: Alberich
    Epithet: King of Elves
    Class: Caster
    Gender: Male
    Region: Germany/France
    Source: Karel ende Elegast
    Alignment: Lawful Evil

    Likes: Charity, power, luxury
    Dislikes: The powerful, mighty, and wealthy
    Talent: Theft
    Natural Enemy: Medb
    Armament: Black armor and sword

    Parameters:
    STR: D
    END: D
    AGI: C
    MGI: A
    LCK: E
    NP: B

    Profile:
    The shrewd King of Elves, a powerful sorcerer and thief whose exploits have been adapted to many tales, such as the world famous Der Ring des Nibelungen and Midsummer Night’s Dream. At times a villain, at times a hero, he is known by many names including Elbegast, Alberich, or Oberon. Though he has encountered a few heroes in his lifetime, he has become the sworn friend and vassal to Charlemagne.

    Due to a sudden increase in Christmas Spirit, an influx of Santas were born and sought out to distribute gifts to the populace. Already in a festive spirit at this time of the year since Charlemagne was crowned on Christmas Day, Elbegast has decided to join the festival of generosity and support the hard working Santas from the back line. By employing his elves as Christmas Elves, he has set up a “Santa’s Workshop” in order to create gifts for the Santas to distribute.

    Skills
    Class Skills:
    Item Construction A
    The skill to manufacture magical items, from implements of war to items for daily use. As the former Chief of the Clan of Mist, Elbegast is naturally skilled in the art of creation, especially smithing. He is capable of creating almost any type of item as long as it has material form. If a Santa wants it as a present, he will definitely be able to produce it for them.

    Territory Creation A
    The skill to build a special terrain that is advantageous to oneself as a magus. At this rank, Elbegast is capable of creating a large scale Workshop, or Factory. Inside the factory, his abilities of creation are increased drastically.

    Personal Skills:
    Charisma B+
    A composite skill consisting of a person’s charm as well as the natural talent to command or unify an army or country.
    Throughout time and time again, Elbegast appears as a king of supernatural entities. His aptitude for leadership is beyond mere situational popularity based on the necessity of the times and reaches into the realm of curse-like charm. The elves who serve him gain a great boost to their morale, necessary to survive the long hours of Santa’s Workshop.

    Renouncement of Love A
    A skill denoting one who has turned their back on the emotions of love and lust. Although he had once lusted over the beautiful Rhinemaidens, Elbegast threw away these feelings forever in order to gain power and wealth. He is thus immune to all seduction-based skills and Noble Phantasms.

    Elven Magic A
    A knowledge and mastery of the Elven art of magecraft. It is a unique form of magecraft improved upon through centuries, incorporating elements from Rune magic, Black magic, Summoning, Alchemy, and more into a single practice. Although it is powerful, it is not suited for direct combat and is instead better suited for petty tricks and large-scale rituals.
    Noble Phantasms
    Sweatshop of Miracles
    Santa’s Workshop

    Rank: B
    Type: Fortress

    The miraculous workshop in which toys are produced as presents for children. It is a full-scale commune on the scale of a fortress staffed entirely by elves who work tirelessly to create every type of gift possible. The workshop is powered by magic furnaces and assembly lines, seemingly able to produce the necessary materials for a present from nowhere.

    Of course, this noble phantasm is not the actual Santa’s Workshop in the North Pole, but an imitation created through Elbegast’s own smithing and magic abilities. Thus, it cannot be materialized at will and must be properly created by Elbegast himself, much like the Hanging Gardens. The entire workshop is powered by the Ring of Nibelung, which summons the elves and forces them to do Elbegast’s bidding. Each present made is a high-class magic item that would shame any modern magus, but in the end it’s just a toy.

    Chalice of Abundant Virtue
    Feast of the Seven Fishes

    Rank: B
    Type: Anti-Banquet

    A magical cup filled with an infinite amount of food and drink for the virtuous. It is used by Elbagast to produce enough food to supply the inevitable Christmas Banquet. Food will magically appear in the cup as if summoned through a portal and will not stop as long as those who eat the food are virtuous. In this scenario, the cup will only produce food for those on Santa’s nice list.

    In terms of origin, the cup is somewhat equal to an incomplete version of a Holy Grail. It feeds on the wishes and hunger of people and thus produces exactly the meal that they want. Since it is incomplete, it is incapable of doing anything but make food, though this could change in the hands of a magus with greater ambition. For Elbegast though, he is satisfied with providing food for the poor and hungry.

    Cupid's Herb
    Mistletoe

    Rank: C
    Type: Anti-couple
    A magical mistletoe that inflicts those who come under it with a curse of love. If a couple were to walk under it, see the plant, and then look at each other, they will instantly fall in love with each other. The curse will be dispelled once the two kiss, though the feelings of intimacy and attraction will remain in smaller amounts.

    This noble phantasm is derived from the plant Elbegast used to make Titania fall in love with Bottom. The plant was one that had accidently been struck by Cupid’s arrow. When its juices were put into the eye of a person, that person would fall in love with the first person they see. Inspired by a mischievous festive spirit, Elbegast was able to transfer these properties to a mistletoe and alter them with magecraft for a more general effect. In exchange for the curse being merely temporary and requiring two people to fall under its effects at once, he was able to turn the plant into a talisman that effects those who see it clearly rather than having the juices go directly into one’s eye.
    Character
    Personality:

    Elbegast is a cunning and mischievous individual, who commits all sorts of troublesome deeds and invites others to go on great adventures with him. He is someone who is inherently meddlesome, interfering in the lives of humans out of whim or fancy. His general demeanor is serious and strict, ruling over the Clan of Mist with a strong relentless grip, while he is privately carefree and lax. Both egocentric and cowardly, he will simultaneously throw himself into danger and then retreat immediately, leaving his hapless companions behind to deal with the danger.

    Although he is not a virtuous person, Elbegast values virtue greatly. He despises the powerful and corrupt while he admires the brave and noble spirit of heroes. Filled with a great amount of greed, Elbegast covets wealth and power, not because he desires material possessions but for the sake of having them. Once he gains any type of fortune, he will inflate with a sense of pride and accomplishment before distributing them to the more needy. In turn, he hates those who are wealthier and more powerful than him. The sole exception to this are people like Charlemagne, whose humble, virtuous nature outshine their fortune.

    His hobbies include theft and adventuring. Much like another chivalrous thief from the forests, he infiltrates the homes of the wealthy and redistributes their treasures to the poor. Outside of that, he is fond of travelling in general, having moved across much of Europe in his many years of life. While he himself is immune to the feelings of love, he likes seeing young humans fall in love and will happily assist them with his powers. Religiously, Elbegast is a casual Christian, nonchalantly following a Christian King while not worshipping seriously and spurning the Norse Gods who gave him trouble in life. For some reason, it seems he’s also picked up some of Charlemagne’s habits and tends to do things for the sake of being cool, such as claiming there’s a dark dragon residing in his right arm.

    History:

    Elbegast was an elven man who appears in many stories across many cultures. Thanks to the long lifespan of his species and his great magical abilities, his exploits were recorded over centuries of activity and adapted to many tales. He was known as the King of Elves and Dwarfs, and assisted several heroes with his superhuman powers.

    He originates from the 5th to 6th century as a member of the Clan of Mist in Niflheim. He was the chief of the Nibelung and guarded the great treasure, Das Rheingold, which he may have stolen from the gods. Eventually, the treasure ended up in the hands of Fafnir and he bestowed a powerful curse upon it so that it would bring misfortune to those who obtained its wealth. At one opportunity, he ended up fighting the legendary Siegfried but was defeated soundly; he alongside the rest of the Nibelung gave the sword Balmung to the hero. In the ensuing chaos following the fight between Siegfried and Fafnir, Elbegast helps spur Hagen to kill Siegfried by visiting him in a dream and then watches helplessly as the treasure he once coveted is lost to the Rhine.

    Sometime after these events, he abandons the underground world of his Clan and becomes a resident of the forests, having fun by robbing the houses of the wealthy as a chivalrous thief. He befriends Charlemagne and becomes enamored by the king’s virtuous spirit. In one story, the two work together to burglarize the castle of Charlemagne’s brother-in-law in which Elbegast proves his usefulness and loyalty. The brother in law, Eggeric is revealed to be a traitor and is defeated by Elbegast in a duel. With his honor proven, the elven sorcerer continued to be a loyal member of Charlemagne’s court.

    Around this time, he ended up marrying the Queen of Fairies, Titania, and gained the additional title of King of Fairies. Of course, he felt no love for his supposed wife and the two would often fight. One such argument was over the possession of a changeling, as told in Shakespear’s a Midsummer Night’s Dream. He also encountered the brave Huron of Bordeaux and the two went on an adventure together to save Huron’s life. Having accidently killed Charlemagne’s son, Huron had to do a number of impossible tasks in order to receive a pardon for his crimes. He managed to somehow complete them all, thanks almost entirely to Elbegast’s tremendous help.

    Throughout the many centuries of his life, Elbegast participated in many events, went by many names, and carved his legend into the world. No matter the time or place, the King of Elves and Dwarves and Fairies was a presence to behold.

    Relationships and Dialogue:

    Charlemagne: “Fear not, my King, I know what you’re about to say. Feasts and gifts for the people have already been prepared. Relax, you may pray in peace tonight.”
    Siegfried: “If you consider yourself a Hero of Justice, put on this costume, mount a chariot, and grab some presents. Do it for the children.”
    Astolfo: “Any friend of Charlemagne is a friend of mine. Come, come, what would you like for Christmas? You want to capture Santa Claus…? I… don’t know if I can make that.”
    Artoria Santa Alter: “Ah, yes, your orders have come in. Here are the gifts you need, and also a bag of hamburgers in case you get hungry.”
    Jeanne d’Arc Santa Alter Lily: “Keep it up! If you ever need help thinking of a present idea, you can count on me.”
    Robin Hood: “… I feel a kinship with you, for some reason.”
    Caesar: “This man reminds me of my father. I’m sure his Santa Spirit Apititude must be high.”
    Morgan la Fay: “This woman reminds me of my mother. She also reminds of me of the grinch who stole Christmas. Shall I put her to sleep?”
    Titania: “God, it’s called Christmas, we make presents and we do it every year. Which part do you not understand? Just leave me alone, I’m trying to spread joy.”
    Medb: “Bah, begone foul temptress. Your seduction holds no effect on me. I will plunder your abundant stores later.”
    Last edited by zikari8; December 1st, 2017 at 08:10 AM.


  18. #558
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six asterism42's Avatar
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    Thinkin' of doing an anti Christmas Servant.

    Assassin Herod or smth
    Quote Originally Posted by Sandstorm77 View Post
    He's just putting the bone of his sword into other people until it explodes and lets out parts of him inside them.
    Quote Originally Posted by AvengerEmiya View Post
    Genderswaps are terrible, but I think I and other people would hate them less if Fate didn't keep ignoring actual heroines throughout history and folklore. Like, why bother turning Francis Drake into a woman when Ching Shih and Grace O'Malley exist?
    Quote Originally Posted by Five_X View Post
    Fate Zero is just Fate Stay Night for people who think Shirou is too girly

  19. #559
    Has anybody done a sheet for the original St. Nicholas? You know, the one who lived in Asia Minor, secretly gave gifts, and once stitched together three dismembered children whose remains were dumped in brine?

  20. #560
    See you on the other side RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DecieverSupreme View Post
    Has anybody done a sheet for the original St. Nicholas? You know, the one who lived in Asia Minor, secretly gave gifts, and once stitched together three dismembered children whose remains were dumped in brine?
    I think Alexecone did one a while back. Feel free to try with your own take, though.

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