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Thread: Monthly Create-A-Servant Contest

  1. #2821
    A.K.A. Rick, apparently realcasually's Avatar
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    Big Brother BBface is actually pretty genius. I really love a lot about this-- and oddly I think my favourite thing is the art used for the NP and the CE. They're just so FITTING and excellently done.

    This is not a criticism of your sheet, necessarily, but something I want to comment on as more and more people make Watchers. The impression I got from the 'shadows' was that they're something unique to the Watcher of F/SF because it's a giant goddamn space whale. A lot of people here do some really interesting things WITH them-- yours are AMAZINGLY well written with their personalities, and I think my favourite execution of the concept was Watcher Jack with all the different potential suspects. But I think it's a little disappointing that people have become shackled to this misunderstanding that Watchers have to have Shadows. As many times as it works, equally as often it's unnecessary and the sheets would be more streamlined without them.

  2. #2822
    This BB sheet was insane. Of course, every submission so far was excellent, but this one... I didn't expect that, and it was very cool !

    On another note, I had an idea this morning, I'll start working today.

  3. #2823
    Just saw the prompt this month

    hehehawheee...



    I GOT SOMETHIN BREWIN'

  4. #2824
    屍食鬼 Ghoul Frigix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheTruthWhale View Post
    @Frigix: Fuck, man. Here I was, acting all complacent with my sheet, and you just dab in here and drop George fucking Orwell on us. You weren't kidding when you said it was the exact opposite of my royal couple, but I had no idea you'd pull this out. Watchers are more complicated than normal servant sheets, by their very nature, and you made it look easy. Fantastic sheet. Love the interplay between all the actors, love the twist you put on the story, a bit iffy on the fact that you chose Oppai Loli/Disney Character BB of all things as your image, love the fact that he's basically just a hi-tech eldritch monstrosity. The NP is exactly what it needs to be, as are the skills. Really well done. Got me sweating over here. Now I gotta make Entry 2 even better.
    Damn, that’s a very nice review, I’m really touched thanks! I look forward to seeing your second entry!

    Quote Originally Posted by realcasually View Post
    Big Brother BBface is actually pretty genius. I really love a lot about this-- and oddly I think my favourite thing is the art used for the NP and the CE. They're just so FITTING and excellently done.

    This is not a criticism of your sheet, necessarily, but something I want to comment on as more and more people make Watchers. The impression I got from the 'shadows' was that they're something unique to the Watcher of F/SF because it's a giant goddamn space whale. A lot of people here do some really interesting things WITH them-- yours are AMAZINGLY well written with their personalities, and I think my favourite execution of the concept was Watcher Jack with all the different potential suspects. But I think it's a little disappointing that people have become shackled to this misunderstanding that Watchers have to have Shadows. As many times as it works, equally as often it's unnecessary and the sheets would be more streamlined without them.
    Ah yes, I absolutely get your point, though since the Watcher class servant is still a pretty mysterious thing I don’t think we really know if it’s a unique ability or something all Watchers possess. From what I understood the “Watcher” skill is something that characterise servant of the Watcher class (but isn’t a class skill for some reasons?) . It’s supposed to “represent the Watcher class' special contract status towards the Master.” and for the F/SF Watcher, she uses it as a way to communicate with the Master or something like that. So maybe it just means Watchers don’t usually use the Shadow for communication but still possess them? It’s a bit confusing, and since the Watcher skill seems to be a must have for Watchers it’s a bit hard to find what could be the other use of this skill besides summoning Shadow. So basically, Watchers are confusing, they're cool but confusing. Directly choosing to have the shadows ability seems to be the easiest and safest bet.

    Also I’m glad you liked my sheet, thanks!

    Quote Originally Posted by Tacosarus View Post
    This BB sheet was insane. Of course, every submission so far was excellent, but this one... I didn't expect that, and it was very cool !

    On another note, I had an idea this morning, I'll start working today.
    Thanks! I look forward to seeing what your idea is.

  5. #2825
    Foreigner Sheetematic Universe! DelRey's Avatar
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    so I read through the latest sheets and two times I became a bit nervous of potential thematic overlap with my project, but hey I got 2 free relationship quotes.
    We recently had the big Watcher discussion so there is not much to add except the fact that I kinda agree with Rick, that the Spirits seem not really needed or perhaps while the reason they are summoned are clear, their purpose/function is lacking imo.
    If we look at the recent and prominent Watchers (which were BnEl15's Laplace and Jack, Morgs Time Traveler and my Ra) we see different approaches to the whole thing.
    TT didnt need shadows because the basis for his existence did not need to do that. He could communicate perfectly well, so why bother with spirits?
    Jack was a title and a mere dagger, a potential thought and needed the spirits to convey something too. My Ra could not talk and instead of summoning Spirits because they fit thematically, he summoned them because he had direct contact with them as their King. Laplace Demon summoned some too tho, but I thought that lazy freak just summoned them to let them do the work, but one has to admit their function were not proper too. Ur Watcher can directly communicate with us through a cool way and everything the Spirits can teach him can be taught by Watcher as well. Disregarding that, you said so yourself that Caesar can fulfill the other roles too and Bismarck serves barely any purpose except genderbending him to use the FC I guess.
    I think the idea of BB = Big Brother carried the sheet enough thematically and it kinda felt forced to use some of them. We dont need four every time, it just happened to fit in the recent ones, dont feel forced to do that too if the narrative does not allow it.
    And why use a completely different FC for Napoleon?!
    Still it is a really cool sheet, the use of BB for that was a perfect fit and you probably one of the top 5 contenders with this one.

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  6. #2826
    吸血鬼 Vampire NittyGritty's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kiwi View Post
    Just saw the prompt this month

    hehehawheee...



    I GOT SOMETHIN BREWIN'
    I am literally quaking in fear

  7. #2827
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Kabalisto Koga's Avatar
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    Well i make quick improvements with my profile i am curious About your oppinions then !



    Heheheh
    until then

    Last edited by Kabalisto Koga; June 7th, 2021 at 10:20 AM.
    Your verified Chikara-production Studios !
    When you wake a Dragon in his Lair...





  8. #2828
    吸血鬼 Vampire Master_Therion's Avatar
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    "Greetings Master. Saber Afonso Henriques, the Founding Father of Portugal. As long as you do not turn your back on your people, I will be your Sword and Shield. From now on, the ground you walk will become ours."



    Class: Saber
    Other Classes: Rider, Berserker
    True Name: King Afonso I of Portugal (Afonso Henriques, The Conqueror/The Founder/The Great; El-Bortukali)
    Alignment: Chaotic Good
    Source: Historical Fact
    Place of Origin: Portugal

    Parameters:

    Parameters
    STR
    END
    AGI
    MAG
    LCK
    NP
    B (A)
    B
    C
    D
    B-
    A
    * Strength increases with use of Sword of Afonso

    Information
    Height: 193cm
    Weight: 105kg
    Likes: Portugal
    Dislikes: Moors, His mother Teresa of Léon, Afonso VII of León, Horses, Pope Paschal II
    Talent: Battle and Conquering
    Natural Enemy: Moors, His mother Teresa of Léon, Afonso VII of León, Kingdom of Castille and Kingdom of León
    Attribute: Man
    Traits: Brynhildr's Beloved, Humanoid, King, Male, Servant
    Armament: Sword and Shield, Armor
    Catalyst: His Sword


    Lore
    Afonso Henriques was the son of Henry of Burgundy, grandson of King Robert II of France, and Teresa of Léon, illegitimate daughter of King Afonso VI of León and Castille, to whom Afonso VI had donated the county of Portucale by wedding. Afonso had lost his father when he was just three years old, after which his mother ruled alone the county. As the natural successor of her husband and his co-governor since its creation in 1096, Teresa single-handedly commanded the destiny of the Portucalense County. One of her most important ambitions was to see her status recognized as the legitimate heiress of her father. For this she rebelled against her sister several times and undertook great conquests to the east, even becoming Queen of Portugal, in her own right, getting recognized later by the Pope, her sister and his nephew, Afonso VII of Leon.

    However, on the death of Teresas sister, Afonso VII succeeds the throne, who re-adopts the title of emperor of all of his grandfather's Hispania, thus seeking allegiance to the other peninsular states, including the Portucalense County among them, which has long shown autonomist tendencies. In an effort to pursue a larger share in the Leonese inheritance, Teresa joined forces with Fernando Pérez de Trava, the most powerful count in Galicia. The Portuguese nobility disliked the alliance between Galicia and Portugal and rallied around Afonso. The Archbishop of Braga was also concerned with the dominance of Galicia.
    Egas Moniz, Afonso Henriques tutor, fearing the future of the county, showed his uneasiness with the rest of the nobility. His protegee, Afonso, noticed his uneasiness and the fact he kept informing of more and more problems in the royal court. He must have often painted the subjection in which Portugal was retreating on the path of almost achieved liberation. The infant Egas had created and now incited to revolt, despite his still young age, was thus also affected by the possibility of his heritage being threatened.

    At the age of eleven, Afonso leaves his mentors palace to join the county court. With the increased influence of the Archbishop of Braga, Afonso took, probably for the first time, a political position opposite to his mother. The Archbishop, forced out of the Shire, took the Infante with him. Afonso, at the age of fourteen, knighted himself and two years later showed his rebellion against his mother more openly. Egas Moniz again supported his pupil's new rebellions, having previously, as a result of the rebels' delicate situation, taken the pupil to feign reconciliations with the mother. The growing influence of the Galician counts in the Portucalense county government led to the revolt of 1128. The rebels chose for their leader Afonso Henriques, son of Henrique de Burgundy and Teresa de Leão. On that day, an event known as the Battle of São Mamede took place, in which Afonso and his supporters overcame troops under both his mother and her lover, the Count of Galicia. Afonso exiled his mother to Galicia, and took over rule of the County of Portucale.

    After Teresa's death in 1131, Afonso VII of León and Castille proceeded to demand vassalage from his cousin. On 6 April 1129, Afonso Henriques dictated the writ in which he proclaimed himself Prince of Portugal or Prince of the Portuguese, an act informally allowed by Afonso VII, as it was thought to be Afonso Henriques's right by blood, as one of two grandsons of the Emperor of Hispania. Having become ruler of the county, Afonso concentrated his efforts on negotiations with the Holy See to achieve autonomy. At the same time it sought to expand its dominions, conquering territory to the Muslims, thus starting the Portuguese Reconquista.

    The single most defining event of the foundation of the Kingdom of Portugal happened during the Battle of Ourique. Afonso Henriques, before heading into battle against the opposing Moors, the Portuguese sovereign had a vision of Jesus Christ surrounded by angels in the figure of the Custodian Angel of Portugal, assuring him that God was on his side and guaranteeing him the victory in combat. He advised the nobleman to leave the encampment alone when he heard the bell of the local chapel. Riding off he was surprised by a ray of light that showed him the sign of the cross and Jesus Christ on a crucifix. Afonso Henriques knelt in its presence and heard the voice of Christ, who told him he would defeat the Almoravids, which he, through courage and his faith, succeeded the following day. With that, Afonso Henriques was declared King and the Kingdom of Portugal was founded. Only in 1143 was Portugal's independence recognized by the treaty of Zamora and only in 1179 would Manifestis Probatum take effect, in which the Pope recognized Portugal as an independent country. Almost half a century after King Afonso I death, having fought almost all his life in the Reconquista, the south would finally be recovered and thus the Portuguese Reconquista would be completed.


    Skills and Noble Phantasms
    Class Skills:

    Magic Resistance C (B+): Magic Resistance grants protection against magical effects. Differing from the Resistance effect that merely rejects Magical Energy, this ability cancels the spells altogether. Cancel spells with a chant below two verses. Cannot defend against magecraft on the level of High-Thaumaturgy and Greater Rituals.
    While carrying his Shield, Saber can reach a rank of Magic Resistance where High-Thaumaturgy and Greater Rituals can be deflected. Saber is specially resistant against magic that opposes the Son of God. On the other hand, Sabers Magical Resistance does not work on magecraft or miracles related to Him.

    "I must admit, I do not have much experience against magic, my resistance against it is all thanks to this class container and more importantly the blessings of The Messiah."

    Riding C-: A Class Skill of Rider and Saber class Servants, denoting the ability to ride mounts and vehicles. Rider-class Servants will typically possess a high rank. It is said that dragon type mounts are an exception, requiring a different ability other than Riding. Most vehicles and animals can be handled with above average skill. However, cannot ride the likes of Phantasmal Species such as Monstrous Beasts. Because of an accident with his horse leading him to fall of said horse and getting captured, forced to abdicate part of the territories he conquered in the Reconquista to Castille as the price to be released, this skill has suffered a demerit.

    "Master, I have no objection in using all my expertise and techniques to fight for your cause, but riding a horse is out of question. That is a mental scar that haunts me. I wouldn't mind trying to ride something modern though, like... what do you call those... "Cars"?"

    Personal Skills:

    Infant's Defiance A: A Skill based on Saber's defiance towards his mother in the Battle of São Mamede. Afonso VI of León, knowing the wishes of the Portuguese, united all Galicia under a single rule of one lord, which he chose from one of his close relatives. Teresa, mother of Afonso Henriques, came to Guimarães to govern the Portuguese county. The Portuguese did not accept this, and the battle started. Afonso won the battle and Portugal started its journey towards independence. Saber can grant blessings to those he recognizes as his "children", all of those descendant from Portugal. Depending on their relationship, even his Master might be granted said blessings.

    "I remember my mother screaming, cursing and begging me to not rebel against her. I could not accept her actions. I did what I believed was right. And I still think it was. Because of those actions, Portugal still exists today."

    Unstoppable Ambition A: A composite skill of Valor and Unyielding Will that allows one to completely focus all their will and strength into achieving their dreams and wishes, regardless of how much one suffers. A representation of Saber's two notable aspects, his absolute bravery shown many times such as in the Conquest of Santarém and the Siege of Lisbon in 1147, granting the ability to not only negate mental interference such as pressure, confusion and fascination while also having the bonus effect of increasing melee damage, and his absolute determination in completing the Reconquista no matter what, having extremely firm will that never yields to any sort of agony, despair or circumstances. Despite falling from his horse and hurting himself, he continued to fight long past his prime. Saber will move onward, with each step closer to his goal strengthening further his resolve and in turn himself.

    "Even if I have to destroy myself, once I put my mind into doing something, I will follow through it. Master, I will guarantee your victory, no matter what tragedy may befall over me. This I swear."

    Revelation C: A Skill to "hear the voice of heavens" and take optimum action. Equivalent to Instinct, a sixth sense regarding battles. However, "Revelation" accommodates all matters related to the achievement of a goal (for instance, choosing the most suitable path while traveling). Because there is no basis to it, it cannot be explained to others clearly. It is a Skill held by the soul of the user. Although Saber only had one revelation, in the Battle of Ourique, said revelation was what encouraged him to proclaim himself King and the Portucalense county the country Portugal.

    "With the Lord on my side, failure is not an option."

    Noble Phantasms:

    Reconquista, the Sword of Afonso
    Victory Over The Five Kings and Seven Castles

    Type: Anti-Unit/Anti-Territory (Anti-Fortress Noble Phantasm)
    Rank: A (A+)
    Range: 1~3/1~50 (1~99)
    Max Targets: 1 person (1~300)
    Description:
    The Sword of the The Founding Father. Although nameless, it could be said that, while being wielded by the King Afonso, the Sword that claimed land for the First King is synonym to the Reconquista, the expansion of Portugal by reconquering Muslim territories.
    The Sword is an enormous weapon, fitting Saber's height. Its weight and length vary from source to source but most sources describe it as having more than 15kg/33lb, as opposed to the normal weight of 1,5~2kg for one-handed weapons or even 2,5~3,5kg for two-handed weapons. According to some legends, it is said that it was needed 10 men to carry it. As such, when drawn out, Saber's STR stat is increased by one rank. Furthermore, when the sword is used by Saber, it has the "Reconquista" trait, in which the Sword claims territory up to 50m in the direction it was swung, with that area becoming part of Portugal and granting a small fame boost associated with it.

    "Oh Land, I have now declared you Portugal. As such, it is once again my duty to drive away from you all those who oppose my children. Grant me your strength. My sword...RECONQUISTA!!!"

    However, its true strength lies not in its abnormal weight nor its ability to conquer land and any boost associated with it. Its true strength lies in using the Sword as an Anti-Fortress Noble Phantasm instead of an Anti-Unit Noble Phantasm. Saber, by infusing his Sword with Magical Energy and striking into conquered land with all his strength, unleashes a lot of energy by commanding the earth to release tectonic pressure up to 100m within conquered land, causing immense power to be released from the ground unto the surface. The usage of mana for this Noble Phantasm is actually to redirect the energy preserved in the ground towards the surface. It does not cost that much mana compared to other Anti-Fortress Noble Phantasms like Excalibur, although it evens out with Saber's low Magical Energy. Of course, this effect does not work on land that hasn't been conquered by Saber, because he neither has the capacity to do that with unconquered land nor he has the Magical Energy to do such feat.

    Manifestis Probatum, the Shield of Afonso
    The Lord Hereby Recognizes The County Is Now A Country

    Type: Barrier Noble Phantasm
    Rank: B
    Range: 1
    Max Targets: -
    Description:
    The Shield of the Founding Father. Although nameless, it could be said that, while being held by King Afonso, the Shield is synonym of Manifestis Probatum, the document that officially recognized the ruler and self-proclaimed king Afonso Henriques as the first sovereign King of Portugal, thus declaring Portugal legitimately a country by word of God.
    The Shield, carved with the symbol of the Five Holy Wounds and the Thirty Coins of Judas, has been blessed by The Son of God, granting the protection of said Messiah, thus Saber acquires a degree of Magic Resistance while carrying the Shield. In truth, the original Shield did not have this symbol carved into it, but the association of the flag of Portugal that does have said symbol with the Shield of Afonso changed its true appearance, in turn granting this blessing.

    "Oh Lord, forgive me for I must discard this fantasy for something I hold dearly. My Master, you are now truly Portugal. Allow me to protect my child. My Shield...MANIFESTIS PROBATUM!!!"

    Saber can use said shield to not only protect against most rank B Noble Phantasms and bellow, with few rank B and most rank A Noble Phantasms not being totally negated, it also protects the land he claimed through his sword in case he faces against a Noble Phantasm that is also Anti-Territory. It can also be used to block an extremely powerful attack one time only at the cost of all the territory conquered through Reconquista being forfeited coupled with the destruction of the Shield. However, to Saber, destroying the Shield is akin to discarding the divine recognition of Portugal, something absolutely inconceivable to him, so Saber rejects ever doing such act unless there is a high affinity with his Master. Divine Constructs can bypass to a certain degree the defense granted by the Shield, while attacks of Divine nature related to The Messiah fully bypass the defense granted, as if attacking a normal Shield. Due to Afonso having been blessed by said Messiah, it is only natural that the same Divinity renders the shield meaningless.


    Personality and Relationships
    Personality:
    Saber's most defining traits are his sense of justice, his love for battle and love for his children. Saber could not stand his mother's way of treating the people of his county, so he rebelled against her, even if it meant ruining their relation for ever. For Portugal, Afonso declared the reconquering of the south for his people and fought until the day he died for that dream to come true. To Saber, the Portuguese people are what he desires to protect the most.
    He watches over his children with pride. No matter what tragedies have befallen over Portugal, he will still accept them with open arms, with the exception of Sebastian I, which he would feel anger towards him for losing what all of his ancestors fought to preserve in such a foolish manner, although even then he would later accept it and forgive him.
    Saber was also known for his thirst for battle, with tales of Afonso wanting to engage other monarchs in personal combat, but no one would dare accept his challenge. It is also told, despite his honorable character, that he had a temper. Several chronicles give the example of a papal legate that brought a message from the Pope Paschal II refusing to acknowledge Afonso's claim as king: either after committing or saying a small offense against him or after being simply read the letter, Afonso almost killed, in his rage, the papal representative, taking several portucalense nobles and soldiers to physically restrain the young would-be king. Coupled with his disposition towards battle, Saber will not yield in the face of adversity. He fought all his life for a single goal and will do it once more at the service of his Master, no matter what hardships may come.
    Regarding his relationship with his Master, he will treat them like their own child and shape them into becoming a better person. If their affinity is high, Saber will treat them like Portugal and do everything in his power to grant them their wish.

    Relationships:
    Maria Leopoldina: "Ah, one of my children's wife. That would make you my daughter-in-law. Although your actions alonside my child led to the loss of much of my Portugals embrace, seeing your actions reminded of my defiance against my own mother. At the very least your conflict with your parents did not lead to a bitter ending. If you believe your actions were for the good of your people, then so be it. I will not hold a grudge against such character. I will forever be proud of your actions."

    Hong Xiuquan: "You, brother of The Messiah?! Such blasphemy! You are not a savior, you are a madman whose delusions led to countless bloodshed. You and I are nothing alike. Whereas my vision brought forth a nation one can still witness a millennia later, yours only brought forth a pile of corpses so massive none will ever be able to forget a millennia later. A messiah? No, you are most certainly the Antichrist."

    Saver of the Fifth Empire: "You went beyond anything I could have ever imagined. Tell me, did you reach an answer by achieving the Fifth Empire? Was your choice right? I cannot say, only the Lord could tell. At the very least, I am proud of you two."

    Sebastian I:"YOU IMBECILE! Blinded by glory, you threw away everything your ancestors and I tried to preserved. For what reason did you throw yourself into such hell? What did you seek to accomplish? To make your ancestors proud? Fool. The moment you became a King that protected our people and our culture was the moment all of us were proud of you.
    After clearing Fifth Empire Lostbelt: "Maybe I was too harsh. I can now see how much it was eating you in the inside. I'm sorry. In the end, you tried to answer to your subject's hopes and dreams. Even if it lead to ruin, I can at least respect your intentions. Still, did you really have to lose my Shield?"

    John IV:"You have my eternal gratitude. Not only did you restore our Kingdom, you also corrected your ancestors mistakes... You say you didn't do anything? Even if everybody did everything for you, it just shows they believed you were worthy to represent them. Be proud, you have my respect.

    ???: "MASTER! How did you even make a pact with this thing!? I strongly advise you to cut your connection with it! That thing will betray you and crush everything you achieved. As your servant, it is my do duty to destroy it!


    Craft Essence



    The King's mind wanders to his first moment of defiance:
    "Mother, I can not allow you to do this to our people. No matter how much I love you, I have to stop you. If you will not protect them, I will. Even if I must defy you. Goodbye Mother..."
    The King's mind wanders yet again, this time his fated meeting:
    "Oh Lord. To have been blessed by Your presence, I am certainly taking the correct path. With this battle's victory assured, all that is left is to declare myself King, and with that, my people will be truly free."
    The King's mind wanders for the last time, to a moment that scarred the king:
    "Cursed creature, I have let down my people because of you! I must regain what I lost. I was so close. I must..."
    Till the end, the King fought all his life to grant his subjects a worthy life.
    "In the end, I could not see my Reconquista fully achieved, but I can rest knowing my country has not crumbled. No matter how much it has lost, I will forever be proud of my children."


    Creator's Notes
    Finally, I'm done. Man, I had such a mental block towards his skills and i think they might still be a bit underwhelming but no matter how much time I spent i couldn't think of better skills. Anyways, since I had done Sebastian with his Sword and Shield, might as well give the man himself. I am quite proud of what turned into. Regarding his Anti-Fortress NP, think of it as a callback or callforward to Saver Fifth Empire. Its basis is the same, except Afonso only controls the energy from the ground because he is not the messiah of the prophecy while Saver controls the Earth. Originally was thinking on making an even older ruler of the Iberian Peninsula but i don't think it would fit the prompt. I am still allowed to enter a second sheet for the contest, so I might later make another servant for the contest. Like always, feedback is appreciated.
    Last edited by Master_Therion; July 17th, 2021 at 03:33 PM. Reason: Out of respect for other entries, I decided to expand Relationships with contest entries

  9. #2829
    屍食鬼 Ghoul Frigix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DelRey View Post
    so I read through the latest sheets and two times I became a bit nervous of potential thematic overlap with my project, but hey I got 2 free relationship quotes.
    We recently had the big Watcher discussion so there is not much to add except the fact that I kinda agree with Rick, that the Spirits seem not really needed or perhaps while the reason they are summoned are clear, their purpose/function is lacking imo.
    If we look at the recent and prominent Watchers (which were BnEl15's Laplace and Jack, Morgs Time Traveler and my Ra) we see different approaches to the whole thing.
    TT didnt need shadows because the basis for his existence did not need to do that. He could communicate perfectly well, so why bother with spirits?
    Jack was a title and a mere dagger, a potential thought and needed the spirits to convey something too. My Ra could not talk and instead of summoning Spirits because they fit thematically, he summoned them because he had direct contact with them as their King. Laplace Demon summoned some too tho, but I thought that lazy freak just summoned them to let them do the work, but one has to admit their function were not proper too. Ur Watcher can directly communicate with us through a cool way and everything the Spirits can teach him can be taught by Watcher as well. Disregarding that, you said so yourself that Caesar can fulfill the other roles too and Bismarck serves barely any purpose except genderbending him to use the FC I guess.
    I think the idea of BB = Big Brother carried the sheet enough thematically and it kinda felt forced to use some of them. We dont need four every time, it just happened to fit in the recent ones, dont feel forced to do that too if the narrative does not allow it.
    And why use a completely different FC for Napoleon?!
    Still it is a really cool sheet, the use of BB for that was a perfect fit and you probably one of the top 5 contenders with this one.
    Actually the shadows have an important function (well except Ivan, he doesn’t, but I still choose to put him for reasons I will explain later). Napoleon’s here to teach how to act, to look like an emperor who inspires people. BB is capable of this to an extent but only with the help of propaganda. Caesar is the one who knows how to do some good public speeches, which is also possible for BB but is considerably helped by propaganda (and Caesar is just much better than him). And Bismarck is the strategist, the political mastermind who fights his enemies not with armies but with political maneuvers. Of cours Napoleon, Caesar and BB are capable of that, but Bismarck far surpasses them. So essentially, BB is good at all the things his shadows are capable of, but the shadows are each apotheosis of their designated field. It’s like if BB was a martial artist and that he had summoned Musashi for the sword, Houzouin Inshun for the spear and uh Tristan for the bow (idk, I don’t have any bow master on my mind). While BB would be extremely good at the 3 weapons, he wouldn't be the best of the best. And it’s kinda cool to have Musashi teach you how to use a sword.

    As for Ivan, well honestly, he’s absolutely useless. Everything he’s good at, BB surpasses him (after all, that’s what BB is the best at). I don’t really have an excuse for him except that I wanted a bloodthirsty tyrant who embodies totalitarian regimes without actually doing Hitler or Mussolini. Because above all I wanted shadows to show differents kinds of leaders/politicians, I thought it would be interesting for the Master to discover the differents ways a king can rule and the politicians can act: Caesars is the most down to earth shadow, Ivan is the evil tyrant, Napoleon is the mad conqueror with ambitious dreams, Bismarck sees the world as a chess game and BB has a machine mindset.

    But yeah, I totally understand what you meant. They aren’t essential, but they are of good help to create a leader who’s skilled everywhere. Also, 4 is just a coincidence, I didn’t mean to do like everyone. As for the FC of Napoleon, since I went for a Napoleon different from the Fate version, I decided to choose something else. The Fate Napoleon looked a bit too sincere, and I wanted someone who looked more like an actor but also someone who’s a bit of a manipulator. Anyway thanks a lot for the review, it was greatly appreciated.

    King Afonso I of Portugal: I must say, it's always nice to see a new sheet of you. As someone who knows nothing of portuguese history, your portugueses Servants are always interesting to read.

  10. #2830
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Kabalisto Koga's Avatar
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    King Afonso :quite well done i must say Therion , really solid i must say , i am curious About your oppinion od my servant . out of curiousity what is his oppinin towards Roman servants i wonder ?
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  11. #2831
    吸血鬼 Vampire Master_Therion's Avatar
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    King Afonso I of Portugal: I must say, it's always nice to see a new sheet of you. As someone who knows nothing of portuguese history, your portugueses Servants are always interesting to read.
    Thanks. Our industry is proud on producing Portugal related servants. Also, dang another cool Watcher. Great concept.

    King Afonso :quite well done i must say Therion , really solid i must say , i am curious About your oppinion od my servant . out of curiousity what is his oppinin towards Roman servants i wonder ?
    Thanks. Which one of your Servants? Regarding Romans, he probably holds a high opinion of Rome because Rome invading the Iberian Peninsula lead to the inhabitants to assimilate roman culture which leveled up the overall level of culture and advancement of their society. The portuguese culture benefited greatly from rome invading the Iberian Peninsula. In a way, the Moors also influenced in a positive way the culture of the Iberian Peninsula.
    Last edited by Master_Therion; June 7th, 2021 at 06:47 PM.

  12. #2832
    Foreigner Sheetematic Universe! DelRey's Avatar
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    Damn my entry is so exhausting to do on several levels. I will be really glad once that one is done. Like finally being able to kick out your kid once they are 18.

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  13. #2833
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Kabalisto Koga's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DelRey View Post
    Damn my entry is so exhausting to do on several levels. I will be really glad once that one is done. Like finally being able to kick out your kid once they are 18.
    At first a short what ? And there are for me 3 great steps in Profil making namely ,at first the idea and inspiration finding ,then to let it form in the imagination and mind ,and the last and most difficult step to bring it on paper.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by Master_Therion View Post
    Thanks. Our industry is proud on producing Portugal related servants. Also, dang another cool Watcher. Great concept.



    Thanks. Which one of your Servants? Regarding Romans, he probably holds a high opinion of Rome because Rome invading the Iberian Peninsula lead to the inhabitants to assimilate roman culture which leveled up the overall level of culture and advancement of their society. The portuguese culture benefited greatly from rome invading the Iberian Peninsula. In a way, the Moors also influenced in a positive way the culture of the Iberian Peninsula.
    Sorry for the confusion i meant i am then interested about your oppinion of my contest servant . Also as you know my Aischylos what would Afonso think of him ?
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  14. #2834
    Maker of Poor Decisions and Massive Sheets TheTruthWhale's Avatar
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    @Master_Therion: The sword should just be an Anti-Not-Portugal NP. Solid servant overall. Other than the names, I think the skills are fine. Infant's Defiance is a super weird name to give to a skill that was essentially a people's revolution.

    @DelRey: Man do I feel that. Enlil crushed my soul for over a week after he was done.
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  15. #2835
    Guess who's my favorite character. WhiteFrenzy's Avatar
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    Apologies y'all, but this might be a short collection of reviews. I'm facing technical issues that are not only delaying sheet production but commentary production as well, on top of shortening my online presence a lot. I hope I can count on your understanding of these issues.

    Anyway, moving on to the actually interesting part.


    Chandragupta I & Kumaradevi: I liked a lot the way you merged two people into a cohesive sheet and made it interesting (a daunting task, with all these words. It could very well become boring but it didn't). I was not expecting this character but on hindsight I should had - good job.

    Augustus: Ayo, very interesting read! This is such a classic character, I'm glad someone decided to try and tackle thie duty of bringing him here. (And this FC? Nothing can go wrong with it.) Also good job.

    Memhed II: If nothing else really grab me by my d**k I might vote on you on principle of drawing you own Servant. This is already a marvelous level of commitment! And the writting part was also super cool too. In the end, I feel like I've learned about a character I had no knowledge of before and on top of that, met an interesting person. Very good job.

    Commodus: Pathetic manchild? A laughstock in every sense? Yes. Good. Gimme the good stuff. He had everything to be annoying and forgettable but you somehow made it with just enough charisma that it (weirdly) catches your attention and never lets go. Good job there.

    BB: Amazing idea and an execution that I can only imagine that it might have been a chore. The final result is very good though - I like the general idea of this Servant. And yet another person to work with the elusive Watcher class and not make a fool of themselves; can't relate. What a good job.

    Afonso I of Portugal: PORTUGUESE SERVANTS PORTUGUESE SERVANTS. Your passion for them is loud and clear here and I'm extremely proud of you for that. Everything in this man screams cool - and it's so deserving. The formatting also immediately catches your attention (I love this grid/chart aesthetic??? Thank you) which is a differencial in these contests. What a good job you did here.


    Final avaliation: 10/10 everyone's already a winner.
    Last edited by WhiteFrenzy; June 7th, 2021 at 10:50 PM.

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  16. #2836
    Arthurian Sheetamatic Universe! Morg van Destro's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DelRey View Post
    Damn my entry is so exhausting to do on several levels. I will be really glad once that one is done. Like finally being able to kick out your kid once they are 18.
    Feeling a bit of that myself. At least, in the that I'm exhausted when I have time to work on it. Schedule being less than consistent, and I really hope my queen doesn’t suffer for it. Or my Lancer king.
    I'm hoping to just binge the sheets after I finish her
    Last edited by Morg van Destro; June 8th, 2021 at 12:56 AM.

  17. #2837
    You Are Going to Brazil Wyvern's Avatar
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    Empress of the New World

    Wrong. It was all wrong.

    Their manner of speech. Their looks. The food they ate and the songs they sang were all different. Unlike anything she’d come to know and expect as a young woman.

    Even now, she could scarcely believe herself.


    Memories that were obviously hers.


    Knowledge she knew instinctively to be correct.


    Ah, that 's right. They were not what she expected. They were rowdy, imperfect, made mistakes and laughed them off with easy smiles. Cried as easily as they raged.


    They were still young.


    Oh so young.

    They were in themselves human. So painfully human that she couldn’t help but worry. As a Mother should. After all, they were hers. Those who were born in this land, who called it their home and basked under the light of its sun were, without a doubt, her Children.




    True Name
    Allignment
    Class
    Alternative Classes
    Maria Leopoldina
    Lawful Good
    Lover
    Ruler / Caster


    Height
    1.75m
    Weight
    70kg
    Region
    Áustria
    Source
    Historical Fact
    Likes
    Her Children.
    Dislikes
    Unfaithfulness.

    Parameters
    STR
    END
    AGI
    MAG
    LCK
    NP
    B
    E
    B
    A+
    E
    A


    Background

    The Mother of Brazilians.

    A figure shrouded in political intrigue, for a long time buried under the sands of time as many chose to believe her a weak and passive figure due to her husband’s extramarital affairs. She was, nonetheless, respected and beloved by the common folk as a benevolent monarch who’d taken the cause of the country and its people as her own.

    Wishing to see them free of the old world’s influence, it was said that she would rule exemplary while D. Pedro I was away in his campaigns overseas. It wouldn’t be wrong to consider her as an ‘Architect of Brazil’s Independence’. Using her education as an archduchess to great effect as she recognised the need for separating Brazil from the Kingdom of Portugal before her husband’s famous declaration.

    As such she became known as the ‘Guardian Angel of this Nascent Empire’.

    While not a revolutionary herself, Maria would come to be known as a strategist able to understand the turn of the tides and recognize her husband’s possible response to circumstances. Her own actions emboldened him to further the cause of revolution leading to the birth of the ‘Empire of Brazil’.

    As a Lover servant… she rejects the one man she ever loved.
    Rather, it could be said that she has compelled herself to reject him due to the tragic turn of her own life due to her own husband’s obsession with another. A scandalous affair which greatly affected Leopoldina physically and mentally. Many having believed that this mistreatment was what lead to her own death.

    In this form… she will only love her children.


    If she were to be summoned in the same time and place as her husband… Leopoldina would actively avoid his presence. Whether of heartache or single minded [Devotion] towards her [Children] being a matter up for debate.



    Personality

    A serious woman with a burning sense of duty.


    A duty towards her family. Towards the country whose embrace welcomed her as readily as he own mother’s would. Maria Leopoldina was the first woman to hold the title of ‘Empress’ in the new world, and thus stands at the absolute apex of her authority and power within Brazil.


    A country she helped give birth to.

    She treats all those born within as her own children. Becoming quite protective over heroic spirits whose own roots are connected to the country. She sees herself not as a warrior or leader, but as a strategist whose decisions are meant to bring victory and protect the future of the nation regardless of how much grief she must face.

    When summoned as a Ruler, she embodies the image of a guardian angel, an entity meant to protect others.


    Nonetheless, she is given to hiding her own feelings and pain.

    Unwilling to let them show as each sacrifice weights down on her. Because she is their [Mother], she holds a special self-sacrificing love which will never waver. Even if she must scold them, she will do so out of love.


    Because of this love, she is hesitant to leave others’ sides.

    Wishing to be there to protect them.

    Wanting to shield them from pain and save them from suffering. No matter how much she must hurt or how many sacrifices she must make, Maria Leopoldina won’t hesitate to put her own life on the line for the sake of her Children, her citizens whose love she embraced in life and wished to protect.


    Class Skills


    Devotion


    EX
    A woman so dedicated to her country she came to be regarded as a motherly figure to hundreds of thousands. Whose death was mourned by hundreds of thousands. When summoned to her chosen home, this skill reaches its peak.

    Object of Desire

    -
    Leopoldina does not attract the desires of others beyond inspiring a feeling of awe towards herself. Rather, it could be said that she has chosen to seal away this skill in favor of the first, fully dedicating her love to others.


    Personal Skills

    Imperial Priviledge

    A
    Being the first woman to hold the title of ‘Empress’ in the New World, Maria Leopoldina possesses a high rank in this Skill, allowing her to mimic any skills related to combat that she lacked in life.

    Mana Burst (Fire)

    B
    A skill gained as a result of possessing the [Andurá]. Allowing her to summon forth the flames of the three to cover her borrowed weapons with. The rank further rises if used in Brazilian territory.

    Weak Constitution

    -
    The illness which lead to Leopoldina’s death. Though it could be considered a form of curse which causes her sudden bouts of pain and mental fatigue. It will steadily climb in rank the longer she remains summoned.


    Noble Phantasms
    Reichskleinodien: Insignia of the Holy Empire
    Anti-Unit
    C

    The relics of the Holy Roman Empire. An arsenal of powerful items which has been maintained and zealously guarded over the course of centuries by the Holy Roman Empire. Maria Leopoldina, the daughter of an Emperor, as well as holder of the title of ‘Empress’ herself, possesses the ability to access this mythical armoury.
    Limited as she is by her Class, Leopoldina cannot summon key pieces of the Regalia such as the Saber of Charlemagne and the Holy Lance.
    Instead she clothes herself in imperial regalia meant to increase her base parameters. The most impressive part of her arsenal are the Holy Glove and Ceremonial Sword. Which she can summon in bulk, using the former to assuage the effects of her Weak Constitution and the later to fight with.

    Andurá: Burning Authority of the New World
    Anti-Army
    A

    If the ‘Reichskleinodien’ represents the ruling authority of the Holy Roman Empire, then the [Andurá] represents the authority which marks one as the rule of the [Land of the Holy Cross], a tree which was taken by the navigator Pedro Alvarés Cabral and presented to the King of Portugal as proof of his findings. It can be said to be a symbol of one who rules [Brasil].

    The Páu-Brasil.

    Because Maria Leopoldina was a beloved monarch, more so than even her husband, the Emperor, the [Andurá] manifests as her Noble Phantasm instead of his. A piece of wood shaped like an axe, by calling its true name, the empress can summon forth a giant burning tree which encases the enemy with its branches before burning them alongside itself.

    Using the [Andurá], however, is akin to removing one’s own symbol of authority.
    Meaning that should Leopoldina use it, she will lose her Mana Burst and drastially weaken her own Imperial Privilege skill.
    As such, it can be considered a last resort sacrificial attack.


  18. #2838
    Foreigner Sheetematic Universe! DelRey's Avatar
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    Oh man Edelgard now rules over Brazil too. Really fitting faceclaim when it comes to the look, I like it.
    If you ever want to make a Berserker/Avenger/Foreigner version of her, boy I have a faceclaim for her, because she currently plagues and ruins the game I play.
    Nice to see that u adopted the names of Morg. I know you are the creator of the class and such, but was sealing the second Class skill necessary? It seems wrong to seal away half what makes someone an extra class. And here we see the thing about what we talked last time. Object of Devotion is sealed while WC is variable and have the same symbol. Wouldnt WC be rank E+++ or something instead in her case?

    Cool Servant and when you know the faceclaim I appreciate how you used her weapons in the NPs

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  19. #2839
    Maker of Poor Decisions and Massive Sheets TheTruthWhale's Avatar
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    @Wyvern: Nice one. Edelgard is a tough FC to sell, but you did it well. I don't think I've mentioned it yet, but I really do like your sheet template. It's very eye-catching, and you don't have to worry about consistent color use like I do. Stealing her husband's ax made me laugh.
    Last edited by TheTruthWhale; June 8th, 2021 at 08:45 AM.
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  20. #2840
    吸血鬼 Vampire Master_Therion's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheTruthWhale View Post
    @Master_Therion: The sword should just be an Anti-Not-Portugal NP. Solid servant overall. Other than the names, I think the skills are fine. Infant's Defiance is a super weird name to give to a skill that was essentially a people's revolution.
    Yeah, mental block. After the contest is over, I'll edit the name for a more fitting one. My logic was this was a reference to Afonso defying his mother and the children (Citizens) of the county rebeling against their mother (Ruler). But I can see that it doesnt look so good for a skill that blesses the children of Portugal.

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