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Thread: Monthly Create-A-Servant Contest

  1. #2961
    “Hello, I am Servant Class: Archer. Don’t worry master, I will take care of you as if you were my own child.”




    Class: Archer
    Other Classes: Saber, Lancer, Caster, Rider, Avenger
    True Name: Empress Jingū
    Alignment: Lawful Good
    Place of Origin: Japan; 3rd Century

    Parameters:

    STR: C
    END: B+
    AGI: B
    MGI: B
    LCK: B
    NP: B

    Height: 165 cm
    Weight: 62 kg
    Likes: Children, her son, her husband, weird food combinations
    Dislikes: Traitors, Liars, People who mess with her family
    Talent: Fishing
    Natural Enemy: No specific natural enemy
    Attribute: Earth
    Traits: Servant, Human, Female, King
    Armament: Fishing Rod, Bow, Katanas, Seven-Branched Sword
    Catalyst: The Seven-Branched Sword, any shrine dedicated to her, a Chrysanthemum


    Class Skills:

    Magic Resistance: B
    At B rank, she cancel spells with a chant below three verses. Even if targeted by High-Thaumaturgy and Greater Rituals, it is difficult for them to be affected. Even though Archer did not live during the prime of the Age of Gods, she naturally possesses high Magic Resistance due to being someone with divine influence and relation.

    Independent Action: C
    Archer is able to stay in the world for one day without a Master. While as a ruler of a country she herself was not independent, she ruled over Japan for a long time without the presence of an Emperor, which earned her this skill.


    Personal Skills:

    Divinity: B
    As not only someone who is a distant descendant of Amaterasu, and someone who was worshiped after death, but also as the person who gave birth to Emperor Ōjin (who would become known as the god Hachiman), she possesses high divinity.

    Imperial Privilege: A
    An ability that, due to the insistence of the owner, Skills that are essentially impossible to possess can be obtained for a short period of time. In cases when the Rank is А or above, even the "burden to the body" can be acquired. For Archer, relevant skills are Swordsmanship, Riding, Arts, Charisma, Tactics, Voyage, and others. Due to being an Empress of Japan and ruling on the Chrysanthemum Throne, she gains access to the Imperial Privilege skill.

    Unyielding Will: A
    A Skill that represents one's extremely firm will that never yields to any sort of agony, despair or circumstances. In Archer’s case, as long as she holds on to her will, she is able ignore large amounts of pain and some deadly wounds. Archer displayed such unyielding will when she continued to lead a campaign while pregnant for 3 years, not giving birth until she completed said campaign.

    Shamanism (Shinto): C+
    A skill which would normally allow Archer to communicate with select gods of the Shinto religion. However, she is unable to do this in the modern era due to mankind furthering themselves from the gods. She can still however use the skill’s secondary effect. When Archer sees a person or servant with the divinity trait, there is a good chance that she will immediately figure out who the person is or what god they are tied to. This part of the skill gains a bonus when the divinity is of Japan. Archer in life was well known to be a powerful shamaness, communicating with the gods multiple times, accepting help from them multiple times, and even channeling multiple gods at one point. If Archer was summoned as a Caster or Rider, this skill would be at a higher rank.


    Noble Phantasms:
    Sakana Uranai
    Fishing shall tell me the future


    Type: Anti-Unit, Anti-Event, Anti-Unit (Self), Anti-Army (Self)
    Rank: B
    Range: 1-10 (∞)
    Max Targets: 1 (True Name release is Variable)

    A Noble Phantasm based on the event where Archer used a fishing rod with to use her divination method, where the number of fish she caught were the way the gods would tell her if her journey to conquest would be successful. The Noble Phantasm takes the form of a fishing rod that is about on the same level as a divine construct, becoming one as a servant due to it’s ties to divinity. She can use the fishing rod like a weapon, either like a staff or even trying to hook people with it. After saying this Noble Phantasm’s true name, she gains clairvoyance (specifically the ability to see the future), on a single matter she decides. She can either use it on a person, a country, or even a situation; the larger the effect on humanity her target had or will have, the more mana it takes and the longer it takes the Noble Phantasm to activate. She can only use this Noble Phantasm once per day, however she must be at a body of water and must remain undisturbed during the duration of this noble phantasm, if she stops channeling during the Noble Phantasm or is forced to move from her spot, she doesn't gain the effects and uses up her use for the day. This Noble Phantasm interestingly enough is what qualifies her for the Archer class.

    Despite the fact that this Noble Phantasm is a type of clairvoyance, and the fact that she has access to this Noble Phantasm when summoned in the Caster class, she can not qualify for Grand Caster. This is due to the fact that this Noble Phantasm is technically not her own clairvoyance, rather, this Noble Phantasm acts as “borrowing the clairvoyance of the gods”.



    Shichishitō
    The 100-Folded Blade with Seven Points


    Type: Anti-Unit Mystic Sword, Anti-Army
    Rank: C
    Range: 1 person (1-99)
    Max Targets: 1 (100)

    A sword gifted to Archer by the King of Pèkché (which would be later known as Baekje) during her campaign through what is now present day Korea. It has been slightly weakened due to Archer’s class. Whenever she hits an opponent with this blade, the damage it deals is multiplied by seven. Upon speaking this weapon’s true name, it releases an anti-army attack in the form of a wave of energy in front of the weapon, which is based on the fact that this blade was said to be made to repel 100 enemy soldiers. If she wants to, Archer can also shoot this Sword from her bow like an arrow after saying its true name, causing it to instead release it’s wave of energy after it hits the target. If she was summoned as a Saber, she would’ve been able to concentrate the energy from the true name release into a single melee Anti-Army Individual rank attack.



    Lore:
    The true name of Archer is Empress Jingū, an Empress and Shamaness from before the Kofun Period. She is listed in Japanese legend as someone who conquered what is now part Modern-day Korea without shedding any blood.

    Empress Jingū was originally the wife of Emperor Chūai, the Emperor who ruled right before her. During one of Chūai’s campaigns, Jingū (while divining with multiple gods) told her husband not to continue his attack on his current target and instead go and conquer a land in the north. Chūai quickly disregarded this advice and was soon after killed in battle against Hashiro Kumaso. Jingū in response took over the throne and hid her husband’s death for a short time so as to not cause the people to panic. Later, the gods tell her she is allowed to attack Kumaso in order to get back at her husband’s killers. About a month later, she made a fishing rod, using needle to make a fishing hook and a piece of string from her clothing to make the fishing line, and used it to divine with the gods, asking them to cause her to catch of a fish if her campaign to the land of the North would be successful. Upon catching a fish, she makes preparations to go to the land of the North.

    Upon leaving Japan, a wind god and a water god help her by causing waves and fish to push her ships, causing her to travel to this land of the North quite quickly. Before beginning her conquest, she told her army that they would not slay any who submit to them. Upon making it to her destination, the land of Sill (which is now located in modern day Korea), Silla’s king was in awe of the fact that there were gods helping Empress Jingū to travel there. Upon seeing the power at her command, Silla’s king decided to talk with her so as to prevent a war. After he learns that Jingū was related to Silla royalty, he offered to let her have some control over the land in exchange for a partnership between the two, to which Jingū agreed. The two nearby kingdoms of Koryö and Pèkché, in response to this alliance between Japan and Silla, decided to also join in on the deal so that they wouldn’t risk being targets of a powerful alliance. After her conquest was finished, she returned home with treasures the countries paid to her.

    Once she returned home, she birthed her son, who would later become Emperor Ōjin. Upon his birth, eight banners came down from the heavens to congratulate his birth. Her remaining years as the Empress were not nearly as eventful. At one point, she was betrayed by relatives trying to seek the throne, who she quickly defeated. During her rule, she was also gifted the Shichishitō by the King of Pèkché as a further show of good faith between them. She continued to reign for a long time as the Empress until her death at the age of 100. As Japan continued to grow after her death, eventually the deal between Japan and the countries of what would become Korea fell apart and changed. Some time after her death, as well as sometime after the death of her son, she was seen as a god of childbirth among other things.



    Personality:
    She has a very motherly personality to those she truly trusts. She also loves children, treating all of them as she would her own. However, she will always be serious when things get serious. Depending on the age of her Master, she may treat them either as her child or as an advisor. Possibly due to having spent such a long time pregnant in life, she also seems to have a strong desire for strange food combinations, ones which people usually don’t eat. She additionally likes to fish, and likes to do so when she isn’t actively pampering her master or hunting down other servants. Her wish for the grail is for her, Chūai, and Ōjin to actually live together as a family, something that sadly wasn’t achieved during life.

    While she is someone who usually does’t use underhanded tactics to accomplish what she wants, she doesn’t berate others for using them if they are used to accomplish something greater. She also seems to be intrigued by modern magi, although a bit underwhelmed by the strength of most of them in comparison to those during her time. However, she hates those who actively lie and betray for their own gain, especially if they were supposed to be a leader, finding them despicable. In terms of other servants, she gets a long extremely well with other rulers. She absolutely adores child servants, although she will fight them if she absolutely must.




    Relationships:
    Himiko:
    “Ah, I see the Ruler of Wa is present, it is good to see another shamaness. What? You thought we were the same person? Nonsense, she ruled over Yamatai, I ruled over Japan, there’s nothing to be confused about.”

    Oda Nobunaga:
    “This is the one who unified Japan by force from what I hear. I applaud her for her accomplishments, no matter what it took to achieve them.”

    Iskandar:
    “Oh, the famous King of Conquerers? I am in awe of his presence, I can’t help but look up to him… figuratively.”

    Tamamo-No-Mae:
    “WHA-?! Is that you Amaterasu?! I did not expect to see you here! I am honored by your presence!”

    Boudica:
    “As a fellow ruler and mother, I can not help but sympathize for the Queen of Victory. She was a just a mother protecting all she held dear, and lost it all.”

    Josiah:
    “While I applaud the effectiveness of your rule and what you did for your people, I do not like your attitude towards me.”

    Emperor Chandragupta the First & Empress Kumaradevi:
    “Oh to be able to rule together as husband and wife must be truly wonderful. I wish I would have been able to do so with my own husband, however, I guess somethings were just not to be.”

    Hong Xiuquan:
    “You disgust me. To think you can call yourself a leader of your people when you constantly use everyone just to satisfy your own perverse craving for power. I see right through your charade, there is no use pretending in front of me.”



    Creator Notes:
    This is finally my first completed servant sheet. While I have a few sheets that are almost finished, this is the first one that I am completely done with. I do think this sheet doesn’t feel that unique in the long run, which is really one of my few gripes about it. I had wanted to do a Jingu sheet for a while now, and it was the perfect time to do one when I saw the prompt for this month. Originally I had a very different skill set in mind (and she was originally a Lancer), but after multiple drafts, I ended up settling on what is present here. Her real life lore is a slight can of worms due to the fact that in her original story it makes Korea seem super weak in comparison and cowardly, with some of the events not quite lining up with actual history; so I made sure to do my own spin on it, making it feel more in line with history, as well as to make it seem like the countries in Korea actually had a reason to immediately surrender. Again, my biggest problem personally is that I don’t think she feels that unique, but I feel the skills at least fit the servant quite well. Also, I absolutely suck at explaining things, so I'm sorry if the lore and ability description don't feel that well written.
    Additionally, if there is criticism to be had, please let me know so I can fix what needs to be fixed and learn from my mistakes.
    Last edited by Spammin Spiff; June 17th, 2021 at 04:28 PM.

  2. #2962
    夜魔 Nightmare Master_Therion's Avatar
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    Hey, don't worry, for a first sheet, it is well done. True, it might not be as unique compared to other entries but that's only because the other entries are amazing. You showed creativity and used a person i am now interest. Do not worry about it, in the end, its still a very good sheet. Her fishing pole Noble Phantasm might be one of the weirdest but most creative I have seen. Annnnd of course it had to be an Archer.
    Last edited by Master_Therion; June 17th, 2021 at 02:38 PM.

  3. #2963
    Quote Originally Posted by Master_Therion View Post
    Hey, don't worry, for a first sheet, it is well done. True, it might not be as unique compared to other entries but that's only because the other entries are amazing. You showed creativity and used a person i am now interest. Do not worry about it, in the end, its still a very good sheet. Her fishing pole Noble Phantasm might be one of the weirdest but most creative I have seen. Annnnd of course it had to be an Archer.
    Thanks for the kind words. Also, ya I kind of just stumbled onto the thought of "Wait a minute, a fishing rod is definitely something that would count as an Archer class weapon by Fate standards". I mean, if dolphins, swords, and electricity count towards being an Archer, there is literally no argument against a fishing rod.

  4. #2964
    Foreigner Sheetematic Universe! DelRey's Avatar
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    But... the Archer Class is made up of Archers.. right?

    I agree, as long as it is used for long ranged combat Archer class seems fine. Reminds me of that one jojo4 billain

    Instigator of the Legendary Jack-Off

    Being extra and off-canon when doing Canon Extra Classes

    Behold!
    My Stuff!
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    (includes an Extra Class Compendium, a small Formatting Guide and Mythological Reconstructions)



  5. #2965
    You Are Going to Brazil Wyvern's Avatar
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    Man, reading all these sheets back to back makes me wish someone creative and with enough time would write a one shot or somehing with them interacting. Or fighting it out in some random Singularity while the Protagonist tries to make sense of what is happening. There is a lot of potential here for silly as well as amazing match ups.

  6. #2966
    祖 Ancestor Kabalisto Koga's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wyvern View Post
    Man, reading all these sheets back to back makes me wish someone creative and with enough time would write a one shot or somehing with them interacting. Or fighting it out in some random Singularity while the Protagonist tries to make sense of what is happening. There is a lot of potential here for silly as well as amazing match ups.
    I have also read your firts entry servant Leopoldina and i must say well Wyvern ! i will have to read all the others herer but i try a second (unique ) contribution whichs area wasnt even covered until now . and out of curiousity what do you think of my entry ?
    Your verified Chikara-production Studios !
    When you wake a Dragon in his Lair...





  7. #2967
    夜魔 Nightmare Master_Therion's Avatar
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    " I have once more been summoned to defy that bastard's legacy. You are my Master, correct? Servant Avenger. Show me your loyalty and I will become your sword, enacting punishment upon those who have wronged you. Think of me as your Guardian Angel."



    Class: Avenger
    Other Classes: None
    True Name: King Miguel I of Portugal (The Absolutist, The Traditionalist, The Usurper)
    Alignment: Chaotic Evil
    Source: Historical Fact
    Place of Origin: Portugal

    Height: 185cm
    Weight: 75kg
    Likes: His Mother Carlota Joaquina
    Dislikes: Invasive ideas such as Liberalism and Freemasonry, alongside foreign countries meddling in the affairs of Portugal

    STRENGTH: B

    ENDURANCE: C

    AGILITY: B

    MANA: A

    LUCK: E

    NOBLE PHANTASM: B++


    Talent: Usurpation
    Natural Enemy: King Pedro I, Queen Maria II
    Attribute: Sky
    Traits: Earth or Sky, Humanoid, Male, Servant, Weak to Enuma Elish
    Armament: Sword and Holy(?) Flames
    Catalyst: Any relative of King Pedro I of Portugal, whether it be remains, people or Servants.

    Lore
    Prince Miguel I, son of King Jõao VI and Carlota Joaquina and brother of future King Pedro I of Brazil. Some sources have suggested that Miguel could be the illegitimate son from an adulterous affair between his mother, Queen Carlota, and one of her alleged lovers. Despite that, Miguel was always considered to be a son of the king, by the king, by his mother, by the rest of the family, by the court, and by the church. What is clear is that Miguel was the queen's favorite child. After the death of her firstborn, it was Miguel who received most of her attention, rather than Pedro, who was closer to his father.
    In 1807, at the age of 5, Miguel accompanied the Portuguese Royal Family on their transfer to Brazil in order to escape from the first Napoleonic invasion of Portugal; he returned in 1821 with João VI and his mother, while his brother Pedro remained behind as regent of Brazil.

    With the return of the Royal Family from Brazil, Miguel witnessed the rise of Liberalism, born from the 1820 that sought to remove the Absolute Monarchy. Miguel had no particular interest in the Absolute Monarchy but he could not stand the corruption of Portugal by foreign ideas, so at the age of 20, Miguel first challenged the liberal institutions established after the 1820 revolution. He was at the head of the counter-revolution of 1823, known as the Vilafrancada. The prince, supported by the queen, went so far as to demand the abdication of the king, who, faithful to his earlier oath, wanted to maintain the 1822 Constitution that abolished the Absolute Monarchy, despite the growing support for absolutist forces. Although it ended with the submission of Miguel and his troops, King João VI took advantage of the situation to abolish the 1822 Constitution and dismiss the Cortes. Many liberals went into exile. Miguel returned to Lisbon in triumph while the king was able to maintain complete control of power and did not succumb to the ultra-reactionary forces that supported his abdication. After the events of the Vilafrancada, Miguel was made Count of Samora Correia and appointed Commander-in-Chief of the Army. But the queen could not tolerate the king's continuing benevolence towards liberals and moderates.

    It soon lead to the mysterious death of the Marquis de Loulé, in which it was suspected that Miguel or his friends were involved. Prince Miguel was always influenced by his mother; and two months later, he gathered his troops and ordered them to arrest ministers and other important people under pretext that a masonic conspiracy to assassinate the king existed, and placed his father in protective custody, where Miguel could "defend and secure his life". The Abrilada, as this was to be known, worried many of the foreign powers. The foreign diplomatic corp, realizing that the king was a prisoner of his son, traveled to Bemposta and was able to ferry the king away and on board a British warship. On board, the king summoned his son, whom he dismissed as Commander-in-Chief of the Army, and immediately exiling him to Vienna, where he remained for over three years.

    Meanwhile, with his father's death, his brother Pedro, the heir-apparent to the throne, became king as Pedro IV. Pedro, however, was committed to continuing as Emperor of Brazil and therefore abdicated the crown of Portugal after two months in favor of his daughter, Maria II. Since the young sovereign was not yet of age, he instituted a regency, under his sister, Isabel Maria. Pedro had already attempted to coerce Miguel to Brazil away from their mother without any success. Following the death of their father, Pedro once again attempted to mend fences within the family and ensure Maria II's right to the throne by offering Miguel the regency of Portugal under a new liberal Constitutional Charter that would re-establish a constitutional monarchy. Under this arrangement, Queen Maria II and Miguel would be married when she came of age; until then Miguel would be her regent in Portugal. Upon Miguel's return to Lisbon, the local population acclaimed their regent with cheers, while bells rang from some church towers and cheerful hymns were sung in the streets. There was a triumphal march to the Palace, along streets adorned with silk banners, while the ladies of the city threw flowers. Everywhere there was a multitude of citizenry yelling "Long live the Lord D. Miguel, our Absolute King", while some interjecting cries of "death to D. Pedro" and "death to the liberal constitution". Nonetheless, Miguel's role was only of a regent... but not for long.

    Less than a month later, Miguel dissolved the Cortes without calling new elections. Some municipal councils, many nobles and clergy and several important citizens requested that the regent revoke the Constitutional Charter and reign as king. Blood was first spilled by the liberals, when delegates from the University of Coimbra were murdered by hot-headed Coimbran students. On April 25, the senate (of the university), issued a proclamation in which they requested that Miguel assume the throne. This only fueled the divisions between liberals and absolutists. Because of the independence of Brazil, Miguel's supporters considered Miguel to be the legitimate heir to the crown of Portugal. If, to liberals, the name of Miguel was despised, to the legitimists (the absolutists) it was venerated. But Miguel's reign was immediately marked by cruel, almost tyrannical, governance which some attribute to him personally; however some blame the injustices on his subordinates, while others attribute them to the malevolence of Queen Charlotte. Regardless, Miguel dissolved the Chamber of Deputies and the Chamber of Peers and, in May, summoned the traditional Cortes of the three estates of the realm to proclaim his accession to absolute power. The Cortes of 1828 assented to Miguel's wish, proclaiming him king as Miguel I of Portugal and nullifying the Constitutional Charter. Soon, the Liberal Wars, a Portuguese Civil War, would start.

    After the liberal suppression in their first revolt in Porto, the liberal army escaped to deplorable conditions in Galicia where they awaited the next move. In the former regency's court there were few strong supporters of a constitutional monarchy; Princess Isabella Maria was supported by weak-willed ministers or incompetents and was personally too timid to stand up to Miguel. The liberal elite and their supporters escaped into exile. All of Portugal recognized the sovereignty of the monarch, except the islands of Madeira and Terceira; Madeira was easily subjugated, but Terceira remained faithful to the liberal cause. The excess zeal of Miguel's supporters to prosecute the liberals would blacken the reputation of Miguel's regime. No matter how many suffered, the Queen Mother continued to support the attacks on liberals, and motivated these actions in order to strengthen the monarchy. Even after she died on 7 January 1830, many atrocities continued to be committed in the name of Miguel, some against foreign nationals who intervened in the politics of Portugal.

    Pedro, after abdicating the imperial crown of Brazil, placed himself at the head of the Liberal Army (1831) and from the Azores launched an invasion of northern Portugal, Landing at Mindelo, near Oporto which he quickly occupied. But Miguel's army was formidable, composed of the best troops, with dedicated volunteers and enthusiastic militiamen. They easily encircled the city and lay siege to it. In the end, politics sealed Miguel's fate: his alliance with Carlos of Spain alienated the sympathies of Ferdinand VII of Spain, who recognized Maria's claim to the Portuguese throne, and concluded a quadruple alliance with the queen and Pedro as well as with the governments of France and England.
    After a three-year civil war, Miguel I was forced to abdicate at the Concession of Evoramonte (26 May 1834). Miguel embarked on 1 June 1834 on a British warship from Sines bound for Genoa; he lived in exile first in Italy, then in England, and finally in Germany. He never returned to Portugal. In December 1834 the Portuguese Cortes banished Miguel and all his descendants from Portugal upon pain of immediate death. In the end, he never stopped trying to reclaim the throne, refusing to accede to the terms of the Concession of Evoramonte and thereby forfeiting his generous pension from the Portuguese government.


    Abilities

    Class Skills:


    Avenger: B

    A Class skill of the Avenger class, representing the state of an Avenger as one that gathers people's hatreds and grudges onto oneself. It is easier for one to accumulate hatred and resentment. The rate of mana generation becomes higher when receiving damage. Miguel may have left centuries ago, but his actions are still remembered to this day.

    "The Usurper? Lies! I merely took back what was mine by divine right. To think that filth has completely corrupted history, it makes my insides boil with hatred."


    Oblivion Correction: A+

    A Class Skill of the Avenger class. People are creatures that forget many things, but an Avenger never forgets. The critical effect of Avengers who attack from beyond one's memory is strengthened. Once someone who fought against invasive ideas that might destroy the country he beloved and invaders who lost their right to govern said country, in the end, it only lead to his expulsion from the throne and his beloved country. His absolute hatred for both the poisoners and poison that degraded his country and wronged him can never be quenched.

    "I cannot accept. I cannot, I cannot, I cAnNoT.... I CANNOT ACCEPT IT!!! Why? How could such filth overcome the rightful King? Those vermin who dared poison my Country and that bastard who planted his foreign seed into my country. I was supposed to become King, not her. She lost her right to rule the moment that bastard declared war on Portugal. SO WHY???


    Self-Replenishment (Mana): A

    A Class Skill of the Avenger class. One's Magical Energy endlessly surges until their revenge is accomplished. Recovers a minuscule amount of magical energy every turn. Boosted to a higher level thanks to his Noble Phantasm, Avenger sees this skill as a proof his hatred is right and that God is aiding him into rising to his rightful place.

    "Hahahaha! This is the proof that The Lord is on my side... Avenger class skill? Is that so? In any case, I have been granted aid to correct what was wronged, so I will not complain where it came from."

    Personal Skills:


    False Regent: B

    A skill that represents Miguel I return from exile in order to become regent of Queen Maria II. The last chance granted by Pedro I of Brazil to redeem Miguel from the events of Vilafrancada and Abrilada and ending his exile, it grants Avenger a second chance, akin to Battle Continuation, that brings forth an unexpected result that he once brought to his brother...

    "I accepted my brother's deal to return from exile in exchange of becoming her regent. However, when I had to defend the Constitutional Charter along with the Bible, I could not accept that. I realized, she was not worthy."


    Unjust Proclamation As King: B+

    A skill that represents Miguel I usurpation of the throne and becoming King, even if for a brief time. It strips Servants of any temporary power attained. Against King Servants, not only are their powers stripped from them, it also accelerates Avengers ascension into power. In short, King Servants fighting against Avenger are at risk of not only losing their powers but also allowing Avenger to use his Noble Phantasm quicker. Additionally, in the case Avenger uses this skill against a King, that servants loses the King trait while Avenger acquires said trait until the end of the battle.

    "I did not usurp the crown from that brat, I merely acquired back what was rightfully mine."


    Infant's Defiance: E > Fallen Prince: A

    A skill that represents the rebellion against a parental force with the objective of granting ones people a better future. Afonso, the Founder of Portugal and original owner, has the skill at its highest and is capable of granting blessings to who he recognizes as his children. Any child of Portugal that replicates the act of rebelling for a greater future can use the skill, even if they are not Portuguese themselves. However, its grade is affected by both the diversion from Portuguese history and the perception people have regarding the rebellion. If its mostly seen as a negative event, its rank is decreased, although if its seen in a positive light in the present the decrease of rank is lesser. Miguel rebelled indirectly against his father when he returned to Portugal, although as a regent of his brother's daughter, and stole the throne, causing a decrease in rank. Avenger has been branded by history as an Usurper and Traitor of Portugal and as a result, not only has the skill originally meant to bless his fellow men fallen to the lowest value possible, but being summoned as an Avenger twisted it into a skill similar to Innocent Monster, meant to demoralize those who oppose him. The image of the fallen prince is burned into the mind of Avengers opponents, crushing their spirits.

    "Of course, it is only natural. The idea of having to fight the King would leave a scar on any loyal subjects mind. Even if they were poisoned by toxic ideas, they were still my people. I can't really hold a grudge over them. It was all my brother's fault."


    Banishing Law: -

    A law passed by Queen Maria II after the Liberal Civil War in which it forced Prince Miguel I into exile, deprived of the status of royalty and the rights of succession to the throne of Portugal, along all his descendants, under the threat of death penalty. A passive skill, it essentially leads to the gradual self-destruction of Avenger if he is ever summoned in Portugal. However, it only works between 1834 and 1950, dates in which the law was applied and ceased to apply. Realistically speaking, Avenger could never be summoned during that time period in the first place because of said skill.

    "That brat. Because of her, I lost everything. No, it hardly is her fault. She is just a puppet of that bastard. PEDRO, YOU CAN'T STOP ME FROM RECLAIMING WHAT IS RIGHTFULLY MINE!!!

    Noble Phantasm:

    Quis ut Deus
    Revived Order of Saint Michael of the Wing



    Type: Divine Noble Phantasm
    Rank: B++
    Range: -
    Max Targets: -

    A Portuguese Roman Catholic dynastic order that is believed to have been founded in 1147 in the Alcobaça Monastery in Alcobaça, Portugal, by King Afonso I of Portugal, in commemoration of the Conquest of Santarém from the Moors in 1147. The name was chosen in honor of the military Saint Archangel Michael, who assisted in the victory in the shape of a wing in the sky. Miguel I revived the dynastic order once more to fight against foreign ideas that threatened to corrupt his country and to aid him in restoring the Absolutist Monarchy in Portugal.
    Initially a constantly active Noble Phantasm, it grants Avenger the ability to fight directly even though he was mostly a commander in life. As the Grand Master of the Order, it loosely connects Michael, the Usurper, with Michael, the Archangel. It grants Avenger Magic Circuits he did not have in life, allowing him to convert Magical Energy into Holy Flames. Due to its constant use, Avenger shifted from the attribute Man towards Sky. As a small side effect, Avengers hair has lost its original color, turning blond.

    Upon its True Name release, it summons the vision of a Comet in the sky. Avenger connects even more with the Archangel Michael, becoming a fake image of it. Michael means Quis ut Deus, in other words, who is like God. However, it is meant to be a question, with the answer being no, no one is like God. As such, it is merely the fake embodiment of the Archangel Michael, Guardian of Portugal. Nonetheless, it boasts great offensive and defensive capability. Furthermore, Avenger summons specters made of flames, symbolizing the once earthly aid of the knights that served Miguel turned into divine aid whose goal is to cleanse Portugal from the poisoners who defiled Miguel's country, being classified as an Anti-Army Noble Phantasm. There is one major flaw regarding the use of this Noble Phantasm, which is it is only able to be summoned every 3 days and can only be used for a brief period of time. Although the Wing in the sky is just an image, it is actually the reflection of comet Halley, the truth behind the miracle witness in the Taking of Santarém. As such, because it visits the earth every 75 years, this fake takes 75 hours to be able to be summoned.

    However, its truest application is to invoke its True Name during the passage of the real comet Halley. Upon releasing its True Name, Quis ut Deus stops being a question but an affirmation. Avenger breaks all his limits into becoming a close recreation of the Divine Archangel Michael, achieving the most approximation of a Divine Spirit a normal class container can absolutely achieve. Avenger, for a very brief period of time, stops being the Usurper and truly becomes the Archangel. However, Avengers Saint Graph cannot handle such change, so this application of the Noble Phantasm breaks apart his core, destroying him.

    Miguel, the Usurper, becomes Miguel, the Archangel



    Personality and Relationships
    Personality:

    Avenger, like the class itself, is the embodiment of the person's powerful resentment that does not fade even after death. In this case, he embodies Miguel's absolute hatred for his brother for stealing his rightful throne, alongside the Portugal Pedro left behind. Avenger feels he has been wronged by his brother, since the moment he became King of a foreign country and declared opposition against Portugal was the moment his right to the throne should have been revoked. Regarding his personality in real life, Miguel was described as "A good man when among good men, and when among the bad, worse than they". If so, then one can only speculate what kind of person his mother can really be...

    "Hey, do not bring my mother into this. Everything that has happened to me was the product of my choices and my brother's, no one else. That's why only we are truly responsible for my disgraced state."

    Nonetheless, Miguel still fought for what was best for his country. When he returned from Brazil, he could not stand seeing his country being corrupted by foreign ideas, so he waged war against such venom. Even though he had no strong opinion about Absolute Monarchy, he still saw it as a preferable alternative against a concept with no historical roots. His campaign over such foreign concepts ended up turning Miguel into a heartless person capable of resorting to cruel tactics such as assassination, coup d'etat and absolute brutality over liberals, although it could be said he was either influenced by his mother or a puppet of her, for the malevolence of the Queen and her discontent towards the King's leniency against liberals is a known trait of her highness. Even though Avengers admits those action might have been unnecessary, he refuses to accept the Liberal Wars as an unnecessary war.

    "I admit my actions might have gone too far, regardless of my intent. However, I refuse to accept that taking the crown was wrong. No, I know I was right. Pedro should have lost any influence he had in Portugal. I only lost that bloody civil war because that bastard allied himself with both the poisoners and poison alike to take away my right as King."

    In the end, history branded Miguel as a villain, and so, as an Avenger, Miguel truly acts like the villain Portugal sees him as. His whole being is a demon that only knows hatred, and all that hatred is targeted to his brother, the one who stole everything he had. Although Avenger only speaks of hatred, he actually respects his Master if they really deserve it. He will become his Master's blade to correct any wrongdoing. No disrespect will be allowed towards their Master. Of course, all of this only works if his Master shows his loyalty towards Avenger. His actions are a mirror of his Master. In the hands of a kind Master, he will try to show restraint and behave himself, in the hands of a cruel Master, he becomes absolutely ruthless, akin to a demon. Even though Avenger boasts that the only emotions he can truly know is hatred, he is actually a very lonely person who would rather hang with Master than being alone. His exile alienated him from everything he loved, so he cannot stand being alone again.

    Curiously, Avenger looks very different from his portraits...

    "Huh, I look different from what you imagined? Ah, that makes sense. You see, my Noble Phantasm, my connection with the Guardian Angel of Portugal, gave me some traits associated with It. For example, my hair was bleached blond summoned as a Servant. I guess my pale skin and red eyes are a manifestation of my skill Fallen Prince, since I'm seen as villain therefore certain traits get distorted and exaggerated. Regarding my clothes, I just wanted to wear something close of what I wore in my later years. Why white, though? It just felt right given that I yield the power of The Guardian Angel of Portugal, so no matter if I have fallen into an Avenger, I would like to associate myself with It. Is that all?

    His Master wonders, why would an Avenger side with an agent of God? How can Avenger still believe in God, after all that happened to him?

    "That is rather a foolish question. The fact I can once more exists to defy that bastard's legacy is enough proof that God favors me. I couldn't care less about God or even the Devil, though. What matters is I am being aided by The Lord through my Quis ut Deus. I will accept every help I can to crush everything my brother aspired for.

    Relationships:

    Master Bond 0 Pedro I of Brazil:
    "PEDRO!!!! YOU BASTARD, YOU FINALLY SHOWED YOURSELF. I have been summoned countless times, I have killed countless people, I have been destroyed in countless ways... just for this moment! GRAB YOU SWORD AND FIGHT ME, YOU THIEF. No, don't even do that. Just stay still. I WILL KILL YOU AND DESTROY EVERYTHING YOU LEFT BEHIND. Master, do not dare to stop me. I will kill you. This is between me and that bastard. Nobody else may interfere. Not your family, not Father, not even Mother. I WILL KILL EVERYONE THAT DARES TO STOP ME!!!"

    Master MAX Bond Pedro I of Brazil:
    "Ohhhhhhh... You... are not... that bastard. You... cannot be... that bastard. If you were... truly him... I would have to... destroy you. But... if I did that... I would get... interrupted by Master... and Master would... get killed by me. I cannot... let that happen. I will... not kill my Master... SO... DISAPPEAR FROM MY SIGHT... YOU IMPOSTOR!"

    Servants connected to D. Pedro I of Brazil (Maria Leopoldina, Isabel and Pedro II):
    "PEDRO!!!!... Huh?! You are not that bastard, so why... Oh, I see, you are a connected with him. I can tell, looking at you brings forth an hatred so great I could only be looking at Pedro. I know about your tales. Your actions for what you believed was the right thing lead you to your own self-destruction and in the end it lead to the degradation of your country. HAHAHAHAHA, WONDERFUL, TO SEE PEDRO'S OWN BLOODLINE SUFFERING ...no. For some reason, it is not as funny as I thought it would be. In the end, you are not that bastard. Besides, every time I try to laugh at you I only get reminded of myself and any temporary delight I achieve turns into hatred."

    Saint Servants:
    "Salvation? HA, you think this is punishment or hell? The Lord has granted me the means to always return and spit on my brother's legacy. You could even say {...the Lord is an avenger of all such...}."

    Sheherezade:
    *For some reason, has no problem hanging around Avenger any more than other non-King Servants, which might be why Avenger feels a little offended.*

    Josiah:
    "You use heresy to fight heresy? Interesting. It would seem we are opposite in every possible way. A Villain who wields the power of Good to destroy Good against a Hero who wields the power of Evil to destroy Evil."

    Chandragupta & Kumaradevi:
    "Looking at you two, I feel a void inside me that is constantly filled with hatred. I'm incapable of love, I discarded it a long time ago"

    Commodus:
    "You remind me of one of my predecessors, King Sebastian. In the end, his foolishness led to the fall of Portugal. Of course, I am in no position to mock him, since I have also brought forth ruin to my country. Can't say I really regret it, though."

    Augustus Caesar (doncosaco)
    "Do not tolerate treason, remove the root of evil. Do not let those bastards who plotted against your adoptive father go unpunished...

    Augustus Caesar (Koga)
    ...Oh, how foolish of me, I am speaking with First Great King of Europe on the matters of treason and revenge, as if the man himself wasn't known for destroying those who wronged him and his father."

    Big Brother:
    "I wonder, should I have discarded all that held me back and do everything in my power, even if it meant taking away all that my subjects had, to stop the filth from corrupting them? No, it no longer matters. I no longer exist to protect my country nor my people. My only goal now is to defile what he has left behind. By the way, Napoleon, go to hell! If your true self ever steps foot in front of me, I will murder you. Not only did my family had to escape to Brazil, because of you my country became infested with toxic ideas."

    Afonso I:
    *Refuses to show his face to the Founder of Portugal out of shame. Not only has his blessing fallen so far, it has mutated into a skill that can only break the hearts of those who oppose Miguel. Even though he believes himself to be right, it doesn't change the fact his actions divided Portugal.*

    Hong Xiuquan:
    *Avenger feels genuine fear when looking at Hong Xiuquan, not because of the atrocities he committed, but because he starts seeing similarities between both of them. Avenger dreads the possibility of his source of power not being actually the Protector of Portugal, but rather his own delusions all along.*

    Marianne:
    "This may be rich coming from me, but you are crazy if you think you can bring a better future by dragging everyone else in the name of the greater good. A Ruler? Pathetic, you are nothing more than their screams left behind, you Berserker."

    Morgan Pendragon:
    "I can see myself as the Witch Morgan le Fay. The rightful heir to the throne getting their birth right stolen by their own brother because of outside circumstances, going through any means possible to reclaim the stolen throne? In the end, Morgan le Fay killed Arthur while I couldn't even destroy that bastard and that's where our similarities end. However, Morgan Pendragon, you and I are nothing alike. I cannot see myself mourning over that bastard's death. You are a just queen who will do everything in her power to save her own people. In the end, I am just an enemy of my country, no matter what."

    Pope Joan:
    "I already told you, I am not interested in salvation... What? You just want to see me using Quis ut Deus? You do not find it to be heresy? You are a really weird one, most Saints disapprove of me for using the power of The Lord for revenge."

    John III Sobieski:
    "How can you not feel any hatred towards the Ottomans? They threatened your own culture alongside all of Europe, so how can you... For the love of God, I cannot take you serious in that form. Also, stop stuffing yourself while I'm trying to talk to you! Sigh... yes, I would like a bite of that."

    Zumbi dos Palmares:
    "You seek to rebel against your oppressor? HAHAHA, EXCELLENT! Let hatred flow through your own soul, destroy what you see as evil! I will become once again the villain, so show me your desire to avenge your people! TAKE YOUR WEAPON AND DESTROY ME!!!"

    Temujin:
    "I'm feeling fear? No, that is not it. That isn't coming from me. Is Saint Michael telling me to avoid him? What are you? An enemy of mankind? Then that makes you my enemy. Don't get me wrong, I couldn't care less about the world. But only I get to destroy that bastard's legacy."

    Kublai Khan:
    "Huh??? Disregarding the fact you are a woman, are you really that monster's grandson? You are different than that monster, but infuriatingly, you almost remind me of my brother. Almost. I will not hate you, but i would like to ask you to distance yourself from me, it disgusts me."

    Jingu:
    "Seeing that woman taking care of you, Master, makes me feel nostalgic. I guess after all I went through, only my mother was on my side. I am glad you have a mother to protect you instead of only a bastard like me whose destiny is destruction."

    Tiberius:
    "Looking at you just pisses me off so much. While I had to take the throne by my own hands, yours was given on a silver platter. What's more, you didn't even care about it! You just squandered Augustus' name and everything he had left behind. It is not a matter of whether you want it or not, the moment you became emperor you should have discarded such silly notions in order to create a better future for your people. King, Emperor, it doesn't matter what, we are the ones who must guide our people towards the correct path."

    Mt. Rushmore:
    "Hahaha, you can spare me your empty words. Your hatred tells me all I need to know about you. Once pure, you have been defiled into this shameful exhibition of their power. Your hatred is not misplaced. Do not forget it. Fufu, rather, you will surely not forget it, fellow avenger."

    Vlad Tepes:
    "The Dracula, once known as Vlad Tepes. Such a noble soul distorted into an abomination by his enemies, I feel a certain kinship with him. Unfortunately, I cannot stand him. Whereas he became the Devil, I became the Archangel. No matter how much I sympathize with him, I can never get along with him. If he wishes to aid my revenge, then it is a different story. For the sake of it, I dont mind becoming a monster if it means punishing those who made me this way."

    "King Solomon:"
    "On the other hand, you are no more than a pathetic creature who is burned away by God's love. Despite no longer being able to feel love, I can see that His mercy is still with me. As such, since I am one with the Guardian Angel, if you decide to oppose the Lord, or even worse, my Master, it is my duty to burn you, for once not out of hatred, but out of compassion"

    Henry Tudor VIII:
    "That man claims to have been blessed by Uriel, the Light of God, yet yields its power for such macabre purposes. What a mad king he is, to think God would grant His love for such heresy. Then again, I am no more than an hypocrite for stating such thought."

    NOTE: Will Update for all entries of the contest, if possible.




    Bond Craft Essence


    In his heart, there is only hatred. All he once had, pride, joy, no longer exist. Only hatred.
    In his mind, all he sees is his brother's face. An enemy meant to be crushed, defiled and humiliated. Nothing else exists on his mind.
    For an instant, however, the memory of two boys together flashes in his mind.
    A different time, different possibility.
    A world that no longer exists. What might have happened if these two boys had never fought against each other?
    It is a meaningless memory, for the past cannot be changed. However... its enough to make him question his existence.
    A single tear falls from his eye.
    Yet, this memory is only an instant. And in a blink of an eye, the tear burns away.
    "Of course, that is not me. Neither is my brother. Those innocent children no longer exist."


    Creator Notes
    Oh, boy, im loving the Brazilian combo, so I decided to make a servant based on the enemy of the first emperor of Brazil. It's funny, i thought on doing him before Isabel was revealed but all those familiars of Pedro I motivated me to write this.
    I decided to try a different style based on WhiteFrenzy's sheet. Also, because of you, I was inspired to show an altered aspect of Infant's Defiance exclusive for Miguel I.
    As a servant in FGO, I would say his deck would be AAQBB, with a Buster NP. Regarding his skills, the first is just a variation of Guts with an added effect when the guts is used, the second removes buffs and charges NP if remove the buff from a King servant, stealing also King trait for 3 turns (Lorewise, It actually steals their buffs but gameplay-wise, it would be too OP, so i settled with allowing to spam his NP) while the 3rd skill is an amalgamation of Innocent Monster with added critical up, opponent attack down and burn up upon attack for 3t. Unfortunately it would suck because I did not make the skills to be game friendly, just lore friendly. In the end, I would say only Skill 2 would stay the same as described, while 1 and 3 would be based around the concept of return (guts), along with some buffs after guts is used for skill 1 and a variation of innocent monster that debuffs the enemy for skill 3. Also, realistically speaking, since the AOE takes 3 days to charge, in FGO, he would use a ST version that still uses the propriety to connect with the Archangel, with added damage if Avenger has the King trait.
    Regarding his Image, I initially thought Wyvern had released Pedro I so I just though "Oh shit, I have to make the opposite" and grabbed some evil guy with White Suit. In the end it wasnt him but I decided to BS my way into the image with it being the influence from his NP and his 3rd Skill. Also, I would like for him in his 1st Ascension to be on military clothes from 19th century and black hair, this Image the 2nd ascension while in his 3rd he has Kings clothes without a crown, but a halo, kinda like this:
    Image 1


    Anyways, went for the villain route. Although his logic sounds reasonable for stealing the crown, cant say his actions are the most correct. In the end, I decided to make an Avenger. If anyone has any critics or suggestions, feel free to comment, specially the Relationship Quotes, since I might misunderstand some servants peronalities. Some servants I haven't give dialogue line, but that's only because I'm not seeing anything that Avenger might say to said servants, but I'll think of something. Btw Whale, guess Im not shutting up about Infant's Defiance XD. Nah, I'm kidding, for now I dont recall any other person who fits the category.

    Also, Wyvern or WhiteFrenzy, any of you have a character sheet of Carlota Joaquina or Pedro I of Brazil?

    By the way, for anyone interested in Avenger's 2nd, anyone with an history of usurpation can use the second skill.
    Last edited by Master_Therion; June 29th, 2021 at 10:00 AM. Reason: Adding more Dialogue Lines

  8. #2968
    Miguel I of Portugal
    Jeez, why in the world have I learned more about half of these countries during this month's prompt than I did in public school. Once again the American school system is proven to be terrible.
    Back on topic, I really like what you did with him. I honestly am a sucker for when people get really creative with Noble Phantasms and think outside the box, which in this case I find the idea behind his Noble Phantasm really interesting. Other than that, the skills fit the servant well, and his personality definitely fits both his class and his lore.

  9. #2969
    You Are Going to Brazil Wyvern's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Master_Therion View Post
    Prince Miguel I

    Look forward to my Pedro I sheet, Therion. I'll have to make it extra special after this!

    I actually had a similar idea for Miguel, though I was probably going to make him a Counter-Class servant based on stealing or 'usurping' the noble phantams and skills of other servants. I actually quite like your take on him. And how deep the connection between him and Pedro is. If I hadn't posted my two contest sheets already, this would have been one hell of a motivator to write a Pedro I one.

  10. #2970
    Just to make sure, we're allowed to two servants per prompt right?

  11. #2971
    Maker of Poor Decisions and Massive Sheets TheTruthWhale's Avatar
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    Round 2 with a Second Chance

    From a Golden Age to a "Golden Age," I'm righting a wrong I committed in this redhead's name.

    This is my redemption arc.

    This is easily the song that got the most play. I don't know if it counts as her theme, but it's damn appropriate.

    Ahoy! Remesye ou tout for gathering here today! Now, we can claim the plunder of a hundred nations in the name of the Freebooter Repiblik!

    "Avast ye! Sa fe lon temps nou pa we, eh? If there's anything the legendary pirate Delahaye is known for, it's coming back better the second time. Sing our chantey, Freebooter Repiblik, and pa bliye ya scurvy dogs: no prey, no pay!"


    Source: Historical Fact?
    Class: Ruler-Gunner
    Alternate Classes: Saber, Rider
    True Name: Jacquotte Delahaye
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Place of Origin: Haiti (Allegedly)

    STR: B END: B+ AGI: B
    MGI: D LCK: A+ NP: A

    Personal Information
    Height: 5'4"
    Weight: 138 lbs
    Likes: Sailing, freedom, The Caribbean, those who fight to be free
    Dislikes: The majority of Europe, murderers, slavers
    Talent: Leaving her mark on history (real or otherwise)
    Attribute: Man (Star)
    Traits: Female, Humanoid, Pirate, Servant, Weak to Enuma Elish
    Armaments: Drawn steel and burning powder
    Catalyst: A Haitian dubloon


    Class Skills:
    • Pirate Queen A: A mutation of the Independent Action skill. Delahaye is not just a free woman, but a symbol of something worth sailing for: a place to belong. So long as Delahaye has a single comrade in arms willing to fly the flag of the Freebooter Republic, she can remain without a master. Without a mana source, she loses the ability to use her active Skills and first Noble Phantasm, but she can remain another week for each comrade in arms that remains. Even with a master, she can ignore command spells that would have her hurt those she considers allies or her crew.

    "A Master? Scupper the notion! We in the Repiblik are all equals. Eksepte pou mwen. As Captain and Queen, I get two shares, so says the Pirate's Code. You... can be my first mate!"

    • Repibliken Yo EX: A mutation of the True Name Discernment and God's Resolution skills. Delahaye lacks command seals and the knowledge of other servants, never one to care much for what the "other guy" could do. Instead, she has the authority of her Freebooter Republic, and the right as Queen to welcome outsiders into it. Joining the Republic is as simple as pledging oneself to Delahaye, usually by offering some kind of tribute to prove your worth - no one in the Republic drinks for free. Once accepted, a tattoo of a heart behind crossed swords held by skeletal arms appears on the body in a place of the person's choosing. Delahaye automatically knows the full abilities, location, and status of anyone who joins her crew, and members find her orders, even if completely mad, usually reasonable enough to follow. Provided members don't betray the Republic or its Queen, these tattoos last on a person's body as long as their spirits seek freedom in this life, even if Delahaye and the Grail War have long-since passed.

    "Ain't no shame in learning to walk with sea legs, and it ain't easy to go on account. Keep your bow aimed towards the horizon, and if it's libete you want, the Repiblik always has room."

    • Legendary Pirate B+: Delahaye is a quintessential "pirate," and while such a class container does not exist, she was a legend among pirates, a story shared by pirates, and creator of a home for pirates. She was, quite literally, the pirate other pirates told each other about, and they did so from the late 16th Century to the end of the Golden Age of Piracy. This skill functions both as Double Summon and as the "class skill" for Gunner. Additionally, it imparts Valor, Mental Pollution, and Voyage at rank B. Delahaye always possesses this skill, no matter her container.

    "Weigh anchor and hoist the mizzen! I've got a title to protect, ya scurvy dogs! Yo pa rele mwen ren 'cause I'm a scallywag! Eh?? Repiblik mwen? Do you even have to ask? Look at our flag. We always sail for her!"

    Personal Skills:
    • A Place To Call Home B: An evolution of the Charisma skill. What the Freebooter Republic was, more than anything, was a dream shared by all who claimed piracy as a profession. Thieves and scoundrels, to attain the freedom they sought, they gave up something precious: a home. Delahaye gives that home to any who seek it. Members of Delahaye's crew are protected from natural physical and mental exhaustion, as well as supernatural ailments of B rank or lower, so long as Delahaye stands.

    "Byenveni lakay, First Mate. On my island, we live, we laugh, and we die free. Put your feet up wherever it pleases ya, and drink whenever ya damn well want."


    • Back From the Dead Red A+: Even in her own legends, the tales of her death were greatly exaggerated. Known for surviving even the most harrowing of scraps and deafening of broadsides, Delahaye only suffered two major defeats in her life. The first ended in her ship exploding, burning, and sinking and her being presumed dead. Of course, keeping Delahaye down requires more than just "presuming," and she came back with quite the legend after years of disguising herself as a man. This functions as a sort-of Battle Continuation. In a battlefield of flashy explosions, giant attacks, and supernatural clashes, the sneaky fighter survives. Unless an enemy kills Delahaye directly (to the point that they watch her dissolve personally), somehow, Delahaye survives. She returns to her "First Mate's" side three days hence. Ironically, this means that massive world-shattering attacks are less likely to kill Delahaye than stabbing her.

    "Kisa? Oh, the other major defeat? That's when I actually died, haha. Mwen ap mande mwen si tit sa a is the reason I'm here now... Well, guess it doesn't matter. Weigh anchor!"

    • Golden Rule (Plunder) B: "Take what you want, give nothing back." This is the oath that separates a freebooter from a simple thief. To run her Republic, Delahaye needed the plunder of those she defeated as well as those who flew under her flag. So long as Delahaye "takes" or is "given" something - usually by defeating the owner - it is considered "her's." This can apply to any inanimate object, including Servant Weapons. Delahaye gains no additional skill or mastery over the things she takes. She can store her stolen plunder in a bottomless silver chest, which is summoned with her. Anyone can access the chest, provided they have the key or the ability to pick locks. Delahaye "owns" something so long as it isn't taken from her in turn, and if she is truly killed before plunder is returned to its rightful owner, it spills out of the vanishing chest onto the floor. Such is the life of a pirate.

    "Sink me, do you have any idea how much lajan it takes to run Repiblik mwen? ... Yeah, neither do I. You can never have enough, though. Care to see the hold?"

    Noble Phantasms:
    Defans Repiblik La
    Defense of the Republic
    Type: Anti-Army
    Rank: Variable
    Range: Over two city blocks
    Maximum Number of Targets: Frontside deployment of 2 island fortresses and 7 ships.
    Description:
    Standing proud on the bow of her stolen Ship of the Line, Delahaye calls upon the souls of those who flew under her Republic's flag once more. Though a powerful flagship, the Ship of the Line is intentionally unnamed, holding no special meaning to Delahaye and functioning as "just another part" of the mounted defense. Two ghost-white fortresses stand erect on small islets floating on flat planes of saltwater, and the other six ships come as if called from the spectres of the deep. Twin rifles hover on either side of Delahaye's head, she takes aim with the bow-mounted great bombard. The fleet, captained by pirates nearly as skilled as her, all equally prepare their shots. With an ignition of mana, Delahaye draws both pistols, and fires them, the rifles, and the bombard all in one motion. The entire fleet, fortresses included, begins their all-out attack. Magic and mundane power fills the air like a hurricane of energy and lead, the will of a Republic that would not so easily fall. Delahaye's Master, her First Mate, is given control over one of the two fortresses. If they do not man the cannons, the ghostly visages of her Republic's sailors will take over, but if they do, the inclusion of their mana into the attack grants the Noble Phantasm the "plus" modifier. Anyone affected by Repibliken Yo is, if within one kilometer, summoned aboard one of the ships. Depending on the amount and power of her crew and the aid they provide in the defense, this Noble Phantasm's Rank can increase by up to one rank.

    Defans Repiblik La
    Defense of the Republic
    has two different base ranks, depending on why it's used. Calling on the full might of the Republic to attack was not a privilege Delahaye ever had, even as Queen, and if she uses this Noble Phantasm in that manner, it is considered Rank C. However, acting as it was always meant to be, in defense, has it elevated to Rank B. When not being used in her Noble Phantasm, Delahaye can call the unnamed Ship of the Line to sail the seas whenever she wishes, manned by those same ghostly visages. It possesses the strength of a Rank C Anti-Army Noble Phantasm by itself, provided Delahaye is pouring her full power into combat aboard it.

    Tire Kout Zam
    Silver Shootout
    Type: Anti-Army
    Rank: B
    Range: 20m
    Maximum Number of Targets: 2 Pistols, 2 Rifles, 2 Cannons, 2 Swords
    Description:
    Delahaye's final gambit, when all else has failed, is to rely on her own strength as pirate and queen both. Those that would take her Republic from her will not do so unscathed. Pulling out both her pistols, two silver rifles form on each side of her head, two silver cannons hover beside her, and two silver cutlasses cross in front of her. She is, herself, as great a threat as any Ship of the Line. Unloading a flurry of powder, magic, lead, and silver at anyone around her that isn't an ally, she is the fury of freedom's last gasp for breath. She can focus her fire, or spread it out, and is limited by neither ammunition nor the need to reload. While this gun-and-cannonfire rains upon her foes, the twin cutlasses act as shields, preventing attackers from coming too close or launching attacks. The swords trail behind them silver light, as do all her weapons, but each attack shines as red as her hair - the red of the heart of the Freebooter Republic. If her Master still lives, they are given two silver pistols themselves, as well as the same proficiency that Delahaye has, and pouring their own power into their attacks grants this Noble Phantasm a "plus" modifier. If she is ever cut off from her master and sustained by the effects of Pirate Queen, she can use this Noble Phantasm, but only for five minutes - the length of her final gunfight. After that time, even if no foe touches her, Delahaye is well and truly killed, and dissolves, her last defense little more than an echo of a faded legend.

    Lore
    Jacquotte Delahaye was born where Saint-Domingue stands in modern-day Haiti between a French father and a Haitian mother. As a girl, she was bright, learning both Haitian Creole and French from a young age. Her father was ex-French Navy, and spent most of his days either cleaning his pistols or out fishing. Delahaye was a daddy's girl through and through, and even when her mother offered to teach her the womanly traditions - including Haitian mysticism - she wanted to learn how to shoot instead. Eventually, her father gave in, and found that she was a natural at it.

    Training would stop shortly before her younger brother was born. Delahaye couldn't know it at the time, but her mother's pregnancy had become complicated, and when she did give birth, it cost her life. On top of it, her younger brother was born mentally disabled. Her father was forced to take care of the both of them alone, and spent most of his free time working as a fisherman and a trader. Delahaye would practice in secret when she could, but her father had expressed his concern that, as she was, she'd never be able to marry and have a better life.

    To help her father out, she took up fishing and harvesting, the latter of which would give her the first taste of using a blade - though fruit made for a poor sparring partner. When Delahaye was fourteen, she was an okay swordswoman and one hell of a shot, and was considering making herself a career militia woman, when tragedy struck. On her way home, she heard the sound of gunfire coming from inside her home. Grabbing one of her father's hidden rifles from inside their outhouse, Delahaye burst inside to find a man wearing a coat of the British navy, standing over the corpses of her brother and father both. A flash of powder, a bored hole, and the murderer's body dropped before her first tears did.

    For the first and only time, Delahaye ran away. She didn't care where her feet took her, which is how she wound up in the hands of Caribbean slavers and thrown aboard their ship. Rather than let despair set in, Delahaye bonded with her other captees, most of which had been pirates. She heard stories of adventure like she had never heard before, and in the chains of a prison ship discovered the most intoxicating of freedoms. Using her cleverness, within two months, she had taken part in planning a mutiny and helped claim it in the name of one Captain Cobbler, the old gentleman who had first talked her out of the darkness of her capture.

    Under his tutelage, Delahaye rose quickly, and the red-haired first mate of Cobbler gained fast fame. With her quick thinking and quicker trigger fingers, Delahaye worked mainly to free her fellow pirates who had been captured by England and Spain. By the time she had hit twenty years of age, she was considered a "war hero" among pirates. That title was the last straw, and the Spanish sent two Ships of the Line against Cobbler's one prison galleon. It was an ambush that turned to slaughter quickly. The powder room was set alight, and the ship exploded, leaving behind little more than flaming wreckage and bodies. Delahaye was assumed lost, and even Thomas Tew, founder of the Pirate Round, held a vigil at her loss.

    Delahaye was a survivor. She wouldn't die just because she was supposed to. In actuality, she had slit the throat of a young red-headed French privateer. While she couldn't prove it, she had the sneaking suspicion he was one of the reasons for the ambush, but as an enemy, his death was justified no matter what. Taking his clothes, she became that privateer, and sailed away from what should have been her grave. Disguised as a man for years, she seized an opportunity, and returned to the Carribean with a beautiful Ship of the Line - the very ship that had sunk her previous life.

    Captain Delahaye, having seen for years the kind of life that her fellow pirates were not allowed to live, had a new goal. She claimed a small island in the Caribbean in her name, and, with the planting of her Heart Roger, the foundation of the Freebooter Republic was laid. Several other captains would come to fly under this flag, and even those that didn't, like Anne Dieu-le-Veut, found Delahaye as an ally. She offered sanctuary that was much needed after the fall of Tortuga to the Spanish, and, provided a proper price was paid, her Republic even offered things like squibs and shipwrights.

    Alas, just as Tortuga before her, Delahaye could not save her Republic from the Spanish. Four Ships of the Line leading a fleet of twenty smaller ships laid siege to her Republic for five days. It only took five days for her and seven captains to lose their ships, and the cannon line of the island's fortresses to be breached. In a blaze of gunfire and glory, Delahaye died that day, every drop of blood spilt in service for her fellow pirates.

    At least, that's how the story goes.

    Delahaye's existence is questioned, whether an invention of a French author in the mid-20th century, a culmination of pirate yarns, or a real person, it matters little. A symbol of freedom in all things, Delahaye would be far from the first fictional member of the Throne of Heroes, and certainly earned her title. She inspired greatness in pirates throughout the Golden Age of Piracy, gave hope when Tortuga fell, and encouraged other female pirates like Anne Bonny & Mary Read to take to the sea. Truly, she was a silver that shines brightest when surrounded by gold.

    Now, she's here, silver guns and red hair a-flurry, ready to once again fight for the freedoms her stories inspired.


    Personality
    Fiery hair and a fiery spirit, Delahaye is every bit the freedom-seeking pirate she's told to be. A legendary pirate - more importantly, a legend among pirates - she put their lifestyle above all else. It was the right for everyone to choose to embrace the call of the sea, and those that would deny it would deny freedom itself. It helps that being a pirate is just plain fun. In her time, being a woman was considered to be a bad omen aboard a ship, but Delahaye never really gave a damn about her sex or what people thought about it. Early on in her career, she abandoned femininity entirely to survive, living as a man for several years. She is a proud woman who believes wholeheartedly that the "country" she built exemplified the Golden Age of Piracy.

    Being a founder of a Republic and a pirate of her fame means that, behind those sea-green eyes is a dangerously clever mind. She unified half a dozen captains under her flag, and was allied with a dozen more. Most importantly, she did all of this without massacre. In-fighting was the one thing Delahaye hated most about her salted brothers and sisters, and both mutiny and cruelty were disgusting to her, the antithesis of what piracy should be. Everyone has a right to live their life the way they want, free of persecution, and anyone who stands in the way of that has a right to a bullet to the brain. After witnessing her family's murder, she vowed to only take the lives of those who made themselves her enemies. No matter how her men may act up, she would never kill them.

    Even in her day, Delahaye was an inspiration. No matter how ridiculous or impossible something may seem - like forming a Republic of pirates in the European-controlled Caribbean - Delahaye demands that it should be seen as far as it can. Otherwise, she insists, there's no way to know whether or not it was impossible in the first place. As a Queen, Delahaye was about as fair as a pirate could be. As founder, no one questioned that she should rule the thing, which, in her mind, technically counted as them voting for her. She always took a cut, but never took more than she thought those who came to her could spare. Delahaye was wealthy enough to adorn herself in silver, it wasn't like she was hurt for wealth. The most important rule in her Republic was the complete abholishment of slavery. Anyone and everyone that sat foot on her island or dropped anchor in her waters was free. If it had lasted longer, perhaps it would have become a haven for escaped slaves like it was for the freebooters that gave it its name.

    Delahaye really, really doesn't like Europe. Even modern day Europe still wears the stains of their past too fresh for her liking, and servants of the past were the reason it ended up the way it did. That said, she does have a soft spot for those who share her ideals, like Joan of Arc or Lafayette. She's not worldly enough of a leader to have much of an opinion of anyone east of Poland, basically, though she has always wanted to meet a certain famous Chinese pirate. As for the Grail, since she's a Ruler, she's never considered a wish. If she were to get one, it would definitely be to bring back her Republic. Obviously.


    Relationships
    Ritsuka Fujimaru:
    "Allo. Ki gen ou ye? ... Oh, Angle. It's a bit worse than Fwanse mwen, but I can make do. So, what's that cup want now? Are you my new First Mate? Well then, plezi pou rankontre ou. I'm Pirate Queen Captain Jacquotte Delahaye. Feel free to use any of those last four to address me."

    Mash Kyrielight:
    "I'll tell you straight, lass. All you need to do is get First Mate Fujimaru three sheets to the wind. Splice the mainbrace until your hearties are all squiffy and taking a cault. Then, shanghai yer quarry to your quarters, and enjoy your bounty, savvy?"

    Francis Drake:
    "So, Drake's a girl? Yon lot rev te pedi. No point in worryin' over it, though! If you've got a few shivers of a mermaid's tail, I'd love to hear your yarn about crushing the Spanish. Let's just say I could use some pointers."

    Edward Teach:
    "Vis mwen! Blackbeard?! Why are you such a... creep? Getting off murdering your own, torturing crew for backtalk, all that I get, but what did that cup do to you?"

    Christopher Columbus:
    *Delahaye spits at his feet*
    "Tipik espanyil."

    Jeanne d'Arc
    "Sen yo?! Dwa, franse! Je t' aime. Vous êtes une source d'inspiration. Je ne suis pas digne. I'm barely worthy enough to speak your tongue. Just hearing your story was enough to give me strength as a little girl."

    Anne Bonny & Mary Read:
    "Well, sink me dry, Bonny and Read under the same flag. I never got to meet you, but my Repiblik is always open to you two. If we can get Anne Dieu-le-Veut here, we can have a truly legendary comeback as pirates. Let the mages fight their war, we've got a sea to conquer."

    Bartholomew Roberts:
    "Captain Roberts? It is! Huge fan, I have your Roger somewhere in my quarters. Do you think you could come and maybe shoot a hole in it? Your kod yo and laws were such an important idea that my Repiblik used, so, if we could chat? Sure, I'll wear my bangs down. Is that some kind of rule, too?"

    Oda Nobunaga:
    "You've got great taste in weapons, lass! Let me know if you ever get bored and wanna shoot some barnacles off of my ship. You might actually win a few pieces of eight from me if we bet."

    Josiah:
    "Dying for your people? Mwen konprann. More than you know."

    Chandragupta I & Kumaradevi:
    "Just because you started a golden age doesn't mean you have to go dressin' like a treasure hold, ya know. Huh? Mwen? I'm dressed in silver, that's completely different! Landlubbers like you wouldn't get it."

    Augustus (Ruler)
    "Italyen? No, not really. You're pretty cocky, lad, considerin' you've got as much powder as a pig farmer's wife. An empire that can't withstand gunfire ain't one worth having."

    Mehmed II:
    *Delahaye whistles appreciatively*
    "Now that's some iron you've got. Tell me, you salty dog, what does a ren like mwen have to do to get you to share the schematics?"

    Commodus:
    "Now this Emperor knows how to party! Get me squiffy, lad, and with that souri, I'll help you get some sea legs, if ya savvy.

    B.B. (Watcher):
    *Delahaye stares blankly at the screen as she goes on and on*
    "I wonder how many doubloons I could get if I sold you as a freaki talking box..."

    Alfonso I:
    "Oh, se rezon ki fe ou ye. For Portugal, I mean. Great. Thank you so much for what you gave the world.

    Maria Leopoldina:
    "You've got me in between a reef and a rapid here, Empress. On one hand, I've never heard of Brazil. On the other, you kicked the mèd out of Potigal. I guess I'll down rum with you while you tell me about this Brazil thing."

    Saver of the Heavenly Kingdom:
    "Daaaaamn. Mwen enpresyone. Never thought I'd meet a tiran who would make me prefer those European dogs. Stay twenty paces from me, or else I can't guarantee a silver bullet won't find your chest attractive."

    Marianne:
    "Finalman! Someone gets it! Yes, lass, yes! Freedom, or death! Let them come, with fire, with fury, with asye, avek bato yo, avek tout bagay! Sister of France, stand with me aboard my ship, and let us see our freedom done right!"

    Morgan Pendragon:
    "As I understand it, you didn't make the Anglete I had to deal with it. So, unless the Delahaye from your Caribbean tells me otherwise, I won't try makin' ya shark bait. In the mean, mind tellin' me what a 'fairy' is? And why you're one?"

    Guinevere:
    "Ugh, the ocean has enough salt. Look, sure, ya chummed the waters... a lot. And you made waves in a calm port. And... actually, lass, why should I feel bad for you? Even a Jenny lets her teacup get cracked. Tears won't mend your past, and all I can give you is a match. You've gotta burn it down yourself."

    Augustus (Rider):
    "You're... but I... how... mèd ou, tas! I'm not keeping track of Sabers, and I'm not keeping track of Romans!"

    "Pedro II":
    "Oh, vini sou. I just started learning about Brazil. Can we not destroy it for, mwen pa konnen, a day? Souple? I don't even know if I agree with you yet."

    Pedro II:
    "Your family makes me glad those chanties and yarns about my daughter were made up. You scurvy bilge rats can't even agree if your own country is good or not. How am I supposed to decide if you can't?! Think about mwen!"

    Pope Joan:
    "Katolik tipik."

    Goredolf Musik:
    "Nope! No, non, ne se produit pas! You... I'm so upset, I switched to Fwanse! Listen, you stupid cup, until the port is calmer than the seas and you stop making every crewmate look like each other, I'm not going to bother learning them!"
    *Delahaye leans in to whisper conspiratorially*
    "Still wanna grab some grog with ya later. You seem fun."

    Zumbi dos Palmares:
    "Fre mwen, I understand. With my ship and your spear, we'll make our libete a reality. Until then, care to spin some yarns? Seems we could learn from the other, like old fishmongers."

    Temujin:
    "Fantastik, now I have to deal with you, too? How many different armies are going to try and take my freedom? My Repiblik won't stand for it! At least Nobu told me your naval victories get famously hornswoggled by the weather."

    White Emperor:
    "Another marksman? Fantastik! Tre Fantastik! You, Nobu, and me, let's all head to pier and shoot down some gulls. You can conquer later, there is merriment to be had among scoundrels!"

    Empress Jingū:
    "Aye, I'm one who stood beside her men until the end, too. They weren't my children, those dogs, but we were still family. That's the pirate's way. Curious about the yarn you'd spin. Care for some grog?"

    Miguel I of Portugal
    "Now Potiges are also in-fighting? Ki sa ki mal ak ou?! Between Potigal and this Brazil, you're putting my Repiblik right in the center. Keep it to yourselves, or else I'll gun you down to the Locker personally. Savvy?"


    Creator's Notes
    If this is a meeting of world leaders (like some have suggested), Delahaye is the one who arrives late, drunk, and ready to settle disputes with her fists as much as diplomacy. Anyway, V2 of Delahaye is live. I think I did her proper justice this time. At least, I hope. As always, I hope you enjoyed, and feedback is always appreciated.

    Last edited by TheTruthWhale; June 19th, 2021 at 12:16 PM.
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  12. #2972
    Arthurian Sheetamatic Universe! Morg van Destro's Avatar
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    You could have at least changed her faceclaim. Like, to this red variant or use it alongside this and the original for three ascensions. I'd say more, but I'll just add her to my list with all the other ones I'm gonna do. Hopefully, that'll be out tomorrow now that I did the main thread reviews.
    Last edited by Morg van Destro; June 18th, 2021 at 01:45 AM.
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  13. #2973
    Maker of Poor Decisions and Massive Sheets TheTruthWhale's Avatar
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    I like her original face claim. I try to avoid busy backgrounds.
    It's a completely rewritten sheet.

    I also don't like the roses.
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    夜魔 Nightmare Master_Therion's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spammin Spiff View Post
    Just to make sure, we're allowed to two servants per prompt right?
    Yes.

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    祖 Ancestor Kabalisto Koga's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Master_Therion View Post
    Yes.
    your Miguel is quite really good i must say Therion ! hopefully i get my second entry Ready before the Voting start.
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  16. #2976
    OH god, I absolutely love Delahaye. I mean, I love pirates in general, but this one ? Now that's a good pirate if I've ever seen one. You did good !

  17. #2977
    Foreigner Sheetematic Universe! DelRey's Avatar
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    Delahaye is pretty good. I am fan of how you handled the Double Summon and the Class Skills

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  18. #2978
    祖 Ancestor Kabalisto Koga's Avatar
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    When is actually the Voting start i think the 22 Right ?
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  19. #2979
    Arthurian Sheetamatic Universe! Morg van Destro's Avatar
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    Once more, my refresher.

    Isabel Cristina Leopoldina Augusta Micaela Gabriela Rafaela Gonzaga: You make one Faker sheet, you write up new Skills and hide the real ones, everyone love it, and now everyone does it. All I’ve done is make people have to work more! Curse my hubris!
    I guess as advocate for Fakers, I have to ask: Why is she a Faker? Having looked up and read about Isabel, I can see the direction you’ve taken the character is a little different from reality, and I like that direction, but I still don’t see anything that actually qualifies her for Faker. I was similarly apprehensive about Whale’s Enil, but he explored the reasoning well throughout all the Lore he slapped on that Servant, but for her the classification just feels like a superficial way for a bait-and-switch. I know you try to give a sort of explanation in the Camouflage description, but that honestly just doesn’t feel close to proper qualification.
    Frenzy, I love you, your beautiful, your sheets are always something I look forward to. I want to like Isabel, but, in this case, I’m gonna need a bit more of an explanation before I can come to a decision about her, mostly to alleviate my own nitpickiness.

    Pedro II: Sebas! I love you!
    *clears throat* Moving on. We’ve got quite the dysfunctional family going on here. It’s really crazy how much overlap was happening in this contest. After releasing Morgan and finding out Lostbelt 6 came out literally a few hours later, I thought we’d be seeing some Arthurians here. Turns out only Boktai has me covered on the normal thread. Back to Pedro, those are some nice Skills, and that first NP is brutal. Hitting him with an instant death attack is gonna wipe out a whole country. Would probably be the highest body count of any Grail War. Nice.

    John Anglicus: *clap clap!* Revision review! Also, Shirou Amakusa called. He wants his character goal back.
    He’s certainly an interesting interpretation of the female pope, and definitely the kind of out-there direction I like, but… I don’t know. Maybe it’s just ‘cause I’m tired, but something’s lacking. Maybe I’ll look at it later and it’ll be gone, but I don’t know.


    Jan III Sobieski : Goredolf does things! Everyone is shocked!
    Glad to see the secret teddy bear of Chaldea joining the pseudo bracket. Unfortunately for you, I am a stickler for mechanics, and I think you’ve really overcomplicated the Servant just for Goredolf. You talked about it, however, and I can respect recognizing you’re wrong and sticking to your guns anyway. I like him beyond that, though.

    Temujin: I may not be related to Genghis Khan, but this paper says I AM A DIRECT DESCENDANT OF ALEXANDER THE GREAT! No one’s gonna get that reference… Also, pretty sure that song really doesn’t speak to the character.
    I think he’s pretty good, but I’m… just not scared of him. He feels like he’s trying to hard to be intimidating rather than just being intimidating. He can basically wipe out most of humanity with just a True Name release, and I just kinda don’t care because he’s really wanting to scare you with it, which just feels desperate more than anything. “I can wipe out the human race! Doesn’t that terrify you? I need to emphasize this because it’s all I have in my life!” and I’m just like “Whatever, bro. Don’t make me call your little sister to slap you for me because I can’t even be bothered to use a command seal on you.” I think the fact that he's trying to terrify you with the implications of what he can do but comes off as whiny just makes it funnier to me. You describe him as this cold, unstoppable force with only one mission who’s a genius tactician and scorns emotions he deems beneath him, but all his dialogue makes him sound like some needy chuuni child who just wants everyone’s attention.
    Basically, when I think of him, all I see is Yūta from Love, Chuunibyo, and Other Delusions in his chuuni phase. Doesn’t ruin it for me, but it all just combines to me not taking him seriously.

    Kublai Khan: Morgan can concur. Destiny is most certainly for cowards.
    I’m honestly surprised she doesn’t have a dialogue with Artoria. Similar circumstances there, as well as similar to my next planned Arthurian Servant. Plug aside, I like her. Production NPs are pretty few, and the Skills are suitably appropriate. She kinda has mom energy to her, if that makes sense. Wants to solve the problems of others but sometimes only sees a tree in the forest, laser focused on how she thinks it should be solved because she’s the one people look to even if she doesn’t have the answer. She’s nice. I like her.

    Empress Jingū: Of course a fishing pole an Archer makes. Maui can confirm. I said Khan had mom energy, but her we have momma energy. The difference is slight, but very noticeable.
    As we all know, most Archers are required to have a sword on them just to confuse everyone about their class until Saber shows up. Looking at you, EMIYA. I’m into her. Not much to say beyond that here.

    Miguel I: Faceclaim makes me think of Yoshikage Kira, which is always a plus. That aside, this is really the contest of the Portuguese, isn’t it?
    Here’s a self-destructive boy. Reminds me slightly of my Vortigern, which just makes me disappointed because the new lostbelt has explained the past of Pan-human Britain, and there are plot holes that are not needed to be pontificated on in a review. Didn’t see the angel thing coming. He’s interesting, but I was just kinda worn out by the time I finished reading him.

    Jacquotte Delahaye: BFtDR has returned! Who could have seen this coming?
    I like her better this way as well as the refinement on her Skills into being more what one would expect from a Servant of her reputation. Also not ridiculously OP. Great and improved NPs too. Have to say though, I’m not really into Repibliken Yo. Kinda useless for a Ruler, since most people she’d need to use it on wouldn’t join her crew, and I doubt any other Servant would either in a Grail War. The fact that it also doesn’t do anything except for her gives even less incentive for anyone to “join her crew”. The effect of lingering after the war also seems pointless. Love her lore and the expansion of her personality, but, ironically, my biggest issue is the Class and the form you’ve had the Class Skills take. Rulers, despite many we’ve seen here, are meant to be arbiters of the Grail War that would have no wish for it and enforce its rules in a neutral fashion. There’s nothing neutral about this girl, plus the aforementioned Skill thing that just wouldn’t be useful in fulfilling her task in a Grail War.
    At the end though, just like last time, this is mostly my opinion. Still like her, despite my slight issues with it.
    Last edited by Morg van Destro; June 19th, 2021 at 05:48 AM.
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  20. #2980
    A.K.A. Rick, apparently realcasually's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Morg van Destro View Post
    Temujin: I may not be related to Genghis Khan, but this paper says I AM A DIRECT DESCENDANT OF ALEXANDER THE GREAT! No one’s gonna get that reference… Also, pretty sure that song really doesn’t speak to the character.
    I think he’s pretty good, but I’m… just not scared of him. He feels like he’s trying to hard to be intimidating rather than just being intimidating. He can basically wipe out most of humanity with just a True Name release, and I just kinda don’t care because he’s really wanting to scare you with it, which just feels desperate more than anything. “I can wipe out the human race! Doesn’t that terrify you? I need to emphasize this because it’s all I have in my life!” and I’m just like “Whatever, bro. Don’t make me call your little sister to slap you for me because I can’t even be bothered to use a command seal on you.” I think the fact that he's trying to terrify you with the implications of what he can do but comes off as whiny just makes it funnier to me. You describe him as this cold, unstoppable force with only one mission who’s a genius tactician and scorns emotions he deems beneath him, but all his dialogue makes him sound like some needy chuuni child who just wants everyone’s attention.
    Basically, when I think of him, all I see is Yūta from Love, Chuunibyo, and Other Delusions in his chuuni phase. Doesn’t ruin it for me, but it all just combines to me not taking him seriously.
    I think this is the harshest most painful criticism I've ever received mostly because I know it's totally accurate and I have no idea how to fix it. Wow. Kinda makes me just wanna remove the sheet from the contest if it completely misses the mark this badly, lmao. Am I allowed to do that? I'm only half joking.
    Last edited by realcasually; June 19th, 2021 at 09:18 AM.

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