Monthly Create-A-Servant Contest

[WhiteFrenzy]

I won't even quote this stupid reply of yours. Delete it, if you want.
Just please stop bothering people who actually DO something.



Also. SOME REVIEWS.
BECAUSE WE HAVE SO MANY AWESOME ENTRIES, I'M SO FLOORED AT THEM. I'm reading everything at my own pace but I swear I'll go through everything. Please bear with me!

Skadi: I like FGO's Skadi. Sure, she's just your average obvious cashgrab but she's a cute cashgrab (and has SOME personality, which is more than what you can say from Scathach let's be honest), but you know what I like more than Skadi? ROYD'S RENDITION OF SKADI. You know I love a stone-faced woman that could crush me with any part of her body, so this gal could only tickle my fancy. This is such a top-quality sheet from you, I liked the way you weaved her personality into her sheet, and the way her Skills are very clearly all representative of a facet of her legend (it's such an obvious thing but it's more difficult than one might realize). What I'm trying to say is: I think I'm in love? Yeah, I guess this is the bottom line.

Rudolph: I was a 90's kid so of course this character has a spot in my heart. This Servant wins in so many levels I don't even know where to begin. Perhaps, it's the lore? I sure as heck busted a gut at it. Please never stop linking these songs. Perhaps it's you obeying the prompt and at the same time also making a Christmas-themed Servant that isn't Krampus or anything like that just to flex on us? Yeah, that's a win too. Also, the way Rudolph is all about frowning at these "naughty children" is so *chef kiss*. Oh right, and he also has stupidly amusing skills that are all incredible and an equally stupidly amusing (and kinda crazy too I MEAN WHAT) NP? Now you're really just flexing. Stop it. (No I'm kidding don't stop.)

[pinetree]

Screw you I’m not writing fanfic.

No one's here to entertain you. If you want activity in the snippets thread then go write.

[NINE-lives]

Just block me if I bother you so much.

[pinetree]

A lovely suggestion. Sadly, it doesn't solve getting notified for reposts but it'll have to do I guess.

[NINE-lives]

“Serapis”: pretty good. I really like the idea of serapis never having existed and being a fake god. A lot of mythological upheavals and inconsistencies can be explained by the non existence of some gods. Shouldn’t his saints graph take damage from maintaining so many divine authorities?

Nimrod: disappointed by the lack of references to nimrod possessing the clothes of Adam and Eve but pretty good sheet regardless. I imagine his interaction with mizukume would be much different if he knew her true nature.

[Alexcoene]

Nimrod: Seems like a "humanity fuck yeah" style Shonen hero at first but then shows a dark side once you get to his second NP. Can see he'd work as an effective third-act villain in a story where the readers and characters get lulled in by his boisterous charisma until his true intentions are finally revealed and they have to band together to stop the Tower's reach from expanding.

Yeah, that's pretty much how I tried to structure both his NPs and his Description. Making the insparitional leader part come first then detail how he's a self-centered megalomaniac.

[pinetree]

Some comments since I actually had the time to stop and think about them.

Rudolph: A unique take for sure. It'll probably take another reading for me to really digest if I like it. It's well written and I like the opening story and the poems, it's just hard for me to enjoy edgy takes on innocent stories.

Ptolemy I: I gotta say, for all the talk about the overt powerlevels, I don't think you needed to worry about anything. Everything you gave him seems totally natural and the you left the actual amount of power he gains from his limited authorities vague enough that it doesn't come off as you trying to wank this dude with the most absurd chief God powers or anything like that. I really like him.
I gotta say the sheet is really repetitive though. The quotes do such a good job of getting information across through his personality that you could've probably merged the Description and Lore into a shorter section, or even done away with one of them.

Nimrod: Having Saint Graph Expansion reduce the size of the tower so that he can actually use it as a Lance is pretty good take. You could've just given it to him as a weapon with no explanation and no one would bat an eye, but I appreciate the justification.

Pinetree will probably keep up the streak of Pretenders winning the contest.
Just the perfect example of what the class is conceived to be.
Has to be top 3 at least.

I'm really glad to hear that, hard to nail these more unique classes we know little about.

[NINE-lives]

It’s just that bnel15 sheets are generally on the weaker side of things so this sheet seems absurdly overpower by his standards.

[BnEl15]

@Pinetree: Huh, merging the lore and personality sections together doesn't sound like a bad idea. Might give it a try next time around.

[Morg van Destro]

Pinetree: Edgy? Is that what people think of him? The joke is that, since avengers are supposed to be dark and often justifiably angry, his presentation and descriptions all reflect that when he's really still just a happy reindeer that's a little older and wiser than he was. I tried to make this clear in the personality, and even his relationships (save Skadi, which was mostly because she reminds him of his old bullies) show he's not done brooding creature of winter. Have you read his Lore! You think I'd turn the precious boy that saved Baby New Year and became friends with Frosty into someone like Sallieri?
...Was I too subtle, or should I have just nixed the angle all together?

[Wyvern]

Pinetree: Edgy? Is that what people think of him? The joke is that, since avengers are supposed to be dark and often justifiably angry, his presentation and descriptions all reflect that when he's really still just a happy reindeer that's a little older and wiser than he was. I tried to make this clear in the personality, and even his relationships (save Skadi, which was mostly because she reminds him of his old bullies) show he's not done brooding creature of winter. Have you read his Lore! You think I'd turn the precious boy that saved Baby New Year and became friends with Frosty into someone like Sallieri?
...Was I too subtle, or should I have just nixed the angle all together?

With the Hero's Bride, its less how Rudolph is and more about his class. Since Alcides is in their opinion the worst possible version of Heracles, they think that the Avenger Class isn't good for Servants as a whole. It was pretty hilarious that they'd even consider Rudolph as their new Heracles at all, but that's the thing with those three. They judged everyone and everything by 'How much like my Husband are you?'

Rudolph, by virtue of being an Avenger, and not even human, kinda trips up their mindset.

I really liked your sheet. The Brides are just a bit thick headed.

[Baron Magnus]

Same case with Joseph. He see's the class and assumes they're a misguided soul. Look at Bran's opinion on him... or maybe I need to rewrite that which I can if needed.

[Morg van Destro]

No, Bran's fine. I didn't even realize you added it. I guess you two make sense. I just got a little in my head when I saw people's Servants viewing him based solely on one half of his Class, despite the fact simply talking to him reveals he's a sweetheart. Even Amaterasu's comment kinda feels that way, though it does feel like it annoys her he's not this being of shadow. I will say I found the thought of the Bride looking him over as a potential hero to be pretty funny, especially since their comment on Bran made it seem like at least one of them is looking for more than that. I try not to let these things get to me, but I think I still have Chrysaor PTSD and am just waiting for someone to point out something I missed in a sheet that makes it all fall apart.

[pinetree]

Pinetree: Edgy? Is that what people think of him? The joke is that, since avengers are supposed to be dark and often justifiably angry, his presentation and descriptions all reflect that when he's really still just a happy reindeer that's a little older and wiser than he was. I tried to make this clear in the personality, and even his relationships (save Skadi, which was mostly because she reminds him of his old bullies) show he's not done brooding creature of winter. Have you read his Lore! You think I'd turn the precious boy that saved Baby New Year and became friends with Frosty into someone like Sallieri?
...Was I too subtle, or should I have just nixed the angle all together?

When I say edgy I'm not saying he's evil. But you did open the sheet with a moody, shadowy encounter with him. He's the red-nosed raindeer but as this kinda battle hardened character that'll never forget he suffered for as long as he lives. Sporting 10 skills and 2 NPs, all of them written straight (except natural body I guess). All to the sound of Rudolph Dark Piano Version.
His lore is the only silly part of the sheet and it's really short compared to the rest. The personality you describe at the end just doesn't shine through the mood you set for the rest of the sheet.
This is all my personal impression at the end but I think you kinda let the Avenger aesthetic take over everything. A serious but cheerful Voyager Rudolph could've worked and so could a silly over-the-top Avenger Rudolph, but both at the same time? Just didn't work for me.

- - - Updated - - -

Though since you mentioned it, I will say the interactions don't necessarily reflect my opinion on the Servants. It's all in character after all.

[Morg van Destro]

Then I probably did go too hard on the moodiness whether enough subversion. In my mind, the fact that it's Rudolph period that's even supposed to be considered tangentially related to this serious mood is enough to get me giggling. Like watching The Dark Knight Rises and realizing it's kinda funny when you don't take it seriously like they want. I wanted the feeling that this is supposed to be taken extremely seriously, then you realize we're talking about a reindeer with a glowy nose that helps Santa, and the juxtaposition is humorous, at least to me.

[Baron Magnus]

Well I've been meaning to but have been putting it off. I'll make a comment outright about each servant so far:

Pandora: A well-done servant and an interesting and great take on an old legend. I also like how she's basically nasuverse pokemon trainer but curses instead of pokemon.
Skadi: Huh. Not sure what to make of her personality wise. In terms of your take on her legend and the writing of it, it's well-done. I also like your selection of skills and NPs. They fit very well.
Rudolph the Red: So first off I like this sheet. It's a very unique take on the avenger class itself (maybe that's influenced by its other class) and I like that. It's also a very unique class combo that I've never seen before, though seeing the servant its for and how you wrote it I literally can't think of any other figure in history that would qualify for that combo more than rudolph himself. All in all a great sheet... oh, by the way. I like the intro story. I almost skipped it but I'm glad I took the time to read it. It's a pretty unique intro to a servant. Good job.
Ootakemaru: You know, when I saw the horns, katana, and name i'm like 'Oh boy another oni let's see how this is done'. Then I read it and I liked it a lot. Seriously. This is a very unique take on oni. well an oni. Especially the malignant info ability. Great job on this servant. I can tell a lot of thought and effort went into making him. I'll keep him in mind.
Bride of the Great Hero: Oh hey it's trickster... wait no it's just another really, really, really fun sheet. Seriously, great job on this one. It was really fun reading the character fill in their own information... I also like the vibe it gives off. Also, that interaction with Omaphale is golden.
Mithotyn:... Ultra metal. I refuse to elaborate further.
USS Enterprise:... Why does the name make me think of star trek? Anyway, a great sheet. I like the combination of skills, its references to columbia (who I didn't even know was a thing), and the story of the servant. You did a great job writing this servant.
Mizukumi: How do I even review this? It's great first of all. Really, really great. Perfect for the prompt really and a really, really good execution of the idea. I love the duality in the sheet present, another well-done execution. I really can't just say how great it is. I have more to say but I rather let the sheet speak for itself. Especially because of the twist within. Great angst you've written pinetree.
Serapis: Great servant. It really is well done. I like how he is an embodiment of 'faking it till you make it'... or is it? I really don't have much beyond other than saying this is a well-thought out idea that was well-executed.
Nimrod: A very well done sheet on probably one of the founding myths of the bible. It's very, very well done and written. I dunno what else to say. There are a lot of sheets that just speak for themselves and are really good.

[SpoonyViking]

Mithotyn:... Ultra metal. I refuse to elaborate further.

No elaboration needed, I will take it as a compliment of the highest order in any case. (nods gravely)

[asterism42]

>Me: "This is pretty gucci so"

No no, Tamamo Gucci is someone else

[Petrikow]

If only there was a thread for making fanfiction starring the fan servants that we make in these threads that WASN’T utterly lifeless

I'll just take this post to talk about a few things about your behavior lately.

1. Your cross-posting is getting on people's nerves. Strictly speaking this is not rule-breaking behavior but if it crosses a certain line it could be interpreted as overt spamming, which is a no-no.

2. Deleting posts is fine, but you are currently overusing this feature. Post deletion is meant to be used when you post in the wrong thread, or when you really feel like your post does not warrant existing. In your case, you often delete posts to simply edit posts, which is not the intended functionality. Please consider using the edit button more.

3. Your hostile interactions could lead to further inflammatory interactions. At this stage it honestly has not went past petty insults, but take it further and people might not look upon it so kindly.

This is not a public warning, as you've not explicitly broken any rules yet, but see it as an opportunity to make sure it doesn't get there.

[NINE-lives]

Thanks for the warning.