I was actually knee-deep in Hindu-Buddhist syncretism which I abandoned ASAP a soon as Santa was beamed into my head
I was actually knee-deep in Hindu-Buddhist syncretism which I abandoned ASAP a soon as Santa was beamed into my head
It's winter in Sapporo. And as the weather stirs, so too does a new Holy Grail War.
Fate/UpRise
Character Compendium
Story - Ch. 3
Thank you Comum and asterism for the help with the examples
Should I take Archer down and dump them in CaS3? I know the 'first entry' slot would still be filled and I wouldn't be able to replace it anyway, but it wouldn't make much sense for something that doesn't fit the prompt to show up in the monthly compilation lol
I know I got the exact specifics of the prompt wrong but I really don't think it's too restrictive, it's still very much inspiring a lot of non-joke ideas. I had to scrap a couple more ideas recently (more about those in the spoiler) but I feel like I've barely scratched the surface of what it allows, so I'm not worried about being unable to come up with material for a second entry
Spoiler:
Please forgive me for once again throwing shade on your first entry but my problems with it are not the qualifications for the contest. I don't think there's anything wrong with tying together a bunch of unrelated legends through flimsy excuses for a comedic sheet. In fact that's the exact kind of stuff I'd expect from a joke sheet in a syncretism contest.
My problems are with execution, not concept. I think it fails in introducing us to the concept of one entity travelling around and becoming others by going straight into the journey narration instead of first giving us a longer introduction It lacks punch by going straight into silly emoticon mode instead of trying to introduce us to a seemingly serious historical context before pulling the rug under the reader. I also think it misses the opportunity to make multiple jokes throughout the entire thing by sticking to the stiff storytelling format. Not focusing on what an absolute disaster of a love life someone who is both Artemis and Orion would have felt particularly weird, etc, etc.
I understand that as the previous winner my comments might come off as judging whether or not you're qualified, but those were just my personal opinions on the sheet. If I saw something wholly unfit for the contest I'd be more emphatic about it.
Last edited by pinetree; December 6th, 2022 at 08:16 PM.
I was really hoping for more of a combination of all the different versions of Santa across the globe for an entry with him rather than one that basically only draws from Odin. Let's get some Saint Nicholas, Ded Morez, a touch of Krampus, and our American bowl full of jelly mixed into him. I'm probably the only one, but I'm just kinda disappointed by this one, but I can admit part of it could be my Apathy toward Stranger as a Class.
Do you likejazzshort stories? Do you want something to distract from making Servants? Do you wish the idea of Shirou Kotomine didn't immediately bring edgelords to mind? Well, I can't promise it's good, but some would disagree with me.
Fate/Without Justice
Krampus isn't a version of Santa tho, he's a companion. And I like a more focused sheet rather than trying to do everything at once.
Last edited by Alexcoene; December 6th, 2022 at 08:22 PM.
While I understand what you mean, I definitely did not only draw from Odin. Miracle for Sinterklaas, Nature Spirits in the Wild Hunt for Ded Moroz, Charisma as a nod to various rulership identities... The nods are all there lol. It only looks like Odin is prominent because 'the Wild Hunt' is a Nasuverse thing that exists on a wider scale and am pulling from. But we also know that the Wild Hunt in the Nasuverse is everywhere and attributed by a lot of identities. I have my own sneaking suspicion that historical Saint Nicholas could be connected to it too...
It's winter in Sapporo. And as the weather stirs, so too does a new Holy Grail War.
Fate/UpRise
Character Compendium
Story - Ch. 3
I do agree that the many aspects could be integrated better, the references through the skills do feel surface level, but I think the Legend section solves it quite handly by making the class itself a statement in regards to the many versions of Santa Claus, allowing the rest to be more focused on the classic image of the character.
My only real criticism is the NP. It feels very tacked on to the point I made up my own version of it before I was done reading and got disappointed with the rest lol
Though the great application of a fan class I was already partial to, the heartwarming personality and narrative and the cute interactions with the other contestants easily overshadowed my opinion on the NP.
It's winter in Sapporo. And as the weather stirs, so too does a new Holy Grail War.
Fate/UpRise
Character Compendium
Story - Ch. 3
Ded Moroz has little relation to the Wild Hunt, something that has a much more prominent connection to Odin, not to mention the runes. Ded would be more relating to his older aspects as a wizard or snow demon.
And to Alex, Krampus had been seen as both a companion and an aspect of him, which could warrant inclusion.
In the end though, this is more just a difference of approach, and I realize that. Still not a bad Servant. I can just be picky.
Do you likejazzshort stories? Do you want something to distract from making Servants? Do you wish the idea of Shirou Kotomine didn't immediately bring edgelords to mind? Well, I can't promise it's good, but some would disagree with me.
Fate/Without Justice
Nuclear's Sukunabikona: Very cute. I was wondering how long it'd take for someone to bring in the Snake vs Ox motiff El-Melloi build up and I like how your choice here manages to connect itself to that very cool piece of worldbuilding while avoiding the more obvious takes on one of the figures mentioned.
I adore how you formatted everything, especially how considerate you were to add all the explanations and sources. Really added to the feeling of autheticity of the character and the syncretization choices. The NP by itself is kinda boring but I like the setting you built within it with the interactions and the Spiritron Dress.
I gotta say though, I spent the whole sheet amused by the very tiny bara boyfriend and was thouroughly disappointed when I went back and saw he was 2 meters tall.
DracoScribe's Loki=Rod: I think you did well in integrating the two characters while still keeping them separate. Mentioning the strength of Loki's perosnality as the main fact for them not becoming a single entity is a great justification. That said, it did work against you when you started to emphasize more and more Loki as a kind father. That image just doesn't fit the trickster god and I think you should have gone so hard into it. His earnsteness in the wish and relationship sections, as well as the descriptions of him as a warm father really go agains the usual image of Loki and it kinda took me away from the sheet. I don't think you needed to change his personality, but showing that side more sparingly or even just hinting at it without talking about it directly would've been better choices, specially because then you could introduce some mystery into the character: is that side of him just Rod? Is it still Loki?
The skills are fine, I like the use of Silvertongue, but I think the NP leaves a lot to be desired. The transferal from one home to another is a cool concept to choose for the NP, but making it into a hulking transformation doesn't fit either the trickster or the fairy guardian. When I moved on and read the next section I got disappointed you didn't relate the change of home in the NP with the migration of the norse people who preserved Loki as a home guardian instead of as a evil god.
Overall though, very effective sheet but it could've been more fun if Loki hadn't been suppressed by the Rod aesthetic.
Aha, aha, aha... That... That is probably my headcanon leaking through and, even worse, making me execute the rest poorly. Because with what you said in the tail end, the part of the mystery of whether the kindness is from Loki or Rod, would really fit, and I wish that came to mind. But in my head Loki is just as much as that evil trickster and insane and broken god as he is this comepletely-headcanon-family god version of him, and I know that, but that doesn't make it easy to actually tell when the excuses I'm using to make that a reality are being a detriment so I appreciate you saying so.even if the part that wants criticism to improve is fighting with the part of me that has fucking low self confidence rn but that's squarely on meNow I just hope I can notice such a thing for any possible next time I make a sheet like this...
well it was that, or...wait I didn't save it!?!?!? GAAAAH. Ugh... I don't wanna look for it again... Basically it was either that picture or this other one I found that was as skinny as I wanted but had horns and a tail that I didn't want to think up an explanation for. Either way...I get what you mean. I didn't want it hulking either but I wanted to show off the coal aspect of the transfer/tethering and so ended up once again doing what I did with Cope and Marsh's FC: "it was good enough so imma just use it even if i have some reservations". At this rate I might just outright not use any image that I have reservations on when it comes to sheets, but well, I only just made 5 so far, so I'll hold off on that decision until I get more "data"/a larger sample size/more experience in this.
And also: DANG IT I MISSED OUT ON ANOTHER PERFECT IDEA AAAAAHHHH IT FITS SO WELL AND LETS ME DO MORE SYNCRETISM BS AND STUFF AND MORE TYING INTO THE WHOLE "FAMILY GOD LOKI" THOUGHT AHHHHH.
i wanna rework this sheet so bad but my want of not wanting to do that for contest sheets 'cause it feels unfair is stronger so i just have to writhe in "I SHOULDVE DONE BETTER AAAAHHHH" feels
I'm glad you still liked it to some degree even if your critique are now sticking out like a sore thumb for me. Like a rrally big fat sore thumb. Doesn't help I did notice that Rod was basically taking over Loki but I wasn't sure how to make it more even other than, to me, the "Loki personality" was dominating Gatekeeper's personality while Rod was dominating the mechanics part.
...on the bright side at least my headcanon come to life wasn't a complete disaster...?
ANYWAYS! Totally obvious subject change to distract myself!
My thoughts on the other Servants!
Sakunabikona: Oh hey, another Persona belong to a party member. XP But more seriously... Hmm. I read this twice, because the first time I was honestly more fascinated with all the "notes" than the sheet itself, so even though I read it completely, it felt like it hadn't really sunk in. Second time though... Second time, I realize I wasn't really off on what I processed of my feelings. Basically, I don't find this a bad sheet at all. If anything, this guy's personality is just the kind I like and I like his whole hot spring theme and just showcasing the legend of this guy in general. But what stuck out to me the most was all the connections in the lore and by consequence the notes that could be expanded on (which i am gonna copy-paste the bbcode of for whatever i feel like using in the future because YES i wanted this), how he's connected to Shennong and Nandi along with his best friend connected to Fuxi and Shiva, among other things. The experience was like...as an example with a little anecdote, when Elden Ring's first proper trailer came out (or at least one of its earliest trailers), there was a scene that showcased just how beautiful and expansive this game was, as the player character looked over the surroundings perched atop a cliff. While pretty much almost everyone else was going either "it looks so good" or "wow look how big that world is", I went "oh! look at the detail on the sword! i wanna see it better!". Basically while the rest of the sheet was great, I was hyperfocused on something I much prefered. And unlike with that Elden Ring anecdote, where I know the point of the shot was to showcase the environment while I focused on something that wasn't intended, I have no idea if it's a good or bad thing I focused on the interesting syncrenization facts in the case of this sheet and contest, but well, that's how I feel about it.
Santa Claus: Welp. I'mma preface this by saying: you're my first sure candidate for 3 points.
Now allow me to elaborate on why.
I had suspicion that this sheet would have a "fairy tale" like quality, the kind of quality that leave children staring wide eyed in wonder, with that line of "a little bit of magic and diamond dust". So it came as no surprise that we get the jolly good man Santa. But immediately I am beset my expectations and worries. "Am I going to like this?" I thought. "Will this be a version of Santa Claus I like?" But then I began to read, and immediately with the first skill, I start to smile. "I think I'm going to like this one. A lot," I thought, and I do. The skills were the basics of Santa Claus, with a beginning of the hints of the syncretism. The NP was outright saying so, and while I don't blame pine's thought on it, my immediate thought was he'd use it to make a White Christmas, though I guess maybe that's further proof the NP shouldn't have been the Wild Hunt. But I digress... Next we get to the Legend and onwards and that's pretty much when I went "okay you've won me over". And Santa himself best sums up why I feel that way: “But isn’t that just it? In the end, it’s just faith and magic. That was enough to bring me around.” Because, well, really that's what he is. Or at least how I view him as. A symbol of Christmas that doesn't matter what religion you worship or region you're from. A symbol of something that is reminder of the generosity and kindness people are capable of.
So yeah. First candidate for my three points.
Wish I could say more but I felt like going into full on "storyteller mode" when I tried thinking of expanding even on my thoughts, so I'mma just stop there. XD
Last edited by DracoScribe; December 6th, 2022 at 09:58 PM. Reason: adding extra words for clarification
Author of:
Persona 5: Refraction (SV link; FF.net link)
"You didn't have to fight for me, you know." "And you didn't have to curl your hair so we'll look even more alike." Ren stared before he softly chuckled, Akira joining him not long after. With one simple decision as a child, Ren Amamiya goes to Tokyo alongside his little sister, Akira. (P5R Sibling AU) (Ren/Ann, Akechi/Fem!Akira)
Chapter 55 on: April 24, 2024 (GMT +8:00)
Velvet Throne
My list of my Servants! Still small for now.
Dang, Santa was gonna be my second sheet...
My Servants! - https://blogs.nrvnqsr.com/entry.php/...s-A-Compendium
In hindsight, I suppose the NPs were the weakest part of the profile, because my approach with them lately is basically more as a summary of who the Servant is + i'm not that good at being creative about making things go boom lol. Were I to tweak the loadout, I'd probably change the hot spring into Territory Creation, and give him with an Issun Boshi-based conceptual NP that lets Sukuna beat out enemies with greater divine status than him, which would be a smoother transition from Sukuna's motive in grafting that legend to his Spirit Origin as stated in the character section.The NP by itself is kinda boring but I like the setting you built within it with the interactions and the Spiritron Dress.I could never make Nessen a manlet. He just has too much big spoon energy.I gotta say though, I spent the whole sheet amused by the very tiny bara boyfriend and was thoroughly disappointed when I went back and saw he was 2 meters tall.
(Slightly) more seriously, I aimed to heighten (pun not intended) the sense of gap moe by making the guy named "Tiny" really tall and rugged, and then flipping that on its head by making Sukuna be a doji cinnamon roll. tl;dr different strokes
at the very least, i'm happy you found something to like there wwwOriginally Posted by DracoScribe
Last edited by Nuclear; December 6th, 2022 at 10:51 PM.
@pinetree: Oh, ok! If the sheet fits the prompt enough to qualify and the issue's just the quality, I'm fine with leaving it up there, then. You raise a lot of valid points on Archer; I don't think I'll do a sheet with a similar joke again, but I'll make sure to take them in consideration in general for the future.
I think part of what caused this issue here is that I was very concerned about getting complaints about how it treated canon characters and didn't really address any Machine God stuff unless I immediately made clear that it was an entirely separate universe and none of it was at all serious; due to that, I probably overcompensated by steering too hard in the other direction right away. In hindsight, it might've been better if I had a more serious start instead and I'd just removed the post-Chang'e identities to develop the rest of the journey better, especially since, as you pointed out, I ended up underutilising the Artemis and Orion stuff in terms of story.
Last edited by Serra; December 7th, 2022 at 04:51 AM.
Alright, time for my first ever post on Beast's Lair. Here goes...!
Archer of Divine Flame
Last edited by TheOnePaladin; December 19th, 2022 at 08:32 PM. Reason: Added a relationships section
Paladin's Matrisvan: your first post? I would say it was better than mine! I'm not very sure on what Purge Damage and Purge Defense is though... Perhaps you noted it somewhere and I haven't caught it? Either way It's quite a read. (Also, I find that the collapse3 function is better than the collapse function. no fussy tapping in and out. ).
Welcome to the forum! This is a very good first sheet and representation of an obscure character. However, while I like the link with Prometheus given in his lore, there is nothing showing that in his abilities. Maybe something representing him giving wisdom to humanity could have been good.
In other news, bringing up Hindu sacrificial fire is a funny coincidence considering what I'm working on.
@Spelror Thanks! I appreciate the tip about Collapsing; I'll mess around with it next time. As for the Purge defense and damage, it occasionally gets mentioned in official skill descriptions like divinity. Seems to basically be "stuff that could destroy the world" like Enuma Elish. I figured it would fit for Agni since that was his curse.
@Alexcoene Glad to be here! The link is actually his Divine core; the Arms of Dawn. It's confirmed in Fgo that those are actually Prometheus'. I made it his Divine Core, which is what grants him the Authority to use his NP, so that it could represent the fact that it's literally Prometheus' arms that are able to give the fire (Agni-Jataveda) to humanity.
Looking forward to seeing what you have in store!