Prushka
Location: Pinefall High Dormitory - Vivienne's Room
Phase: Morning Phase
Date: 08.09.1994 (THU)
Weather: Overcast
"No, you couldn't really test of courage itself scary... all the frightening bits were off to the side. It was just walking through nowhere. Y'know, give some kids flashlights in the dark and they'll scare themselves, that sorta deal."
Recalling that painful night affirms my conclusion. I can't recall being terrified of the darkness or that stupid cabin. What I were scared of were... blades in the dark, aimed at my throat. The hidden feelings lurking within those scheming in the background. That twisted smile on Jake Briggs' face. The thought of going to sleep alone in a room that offered no protection. The future and all it held. Such was the terror that had me quaking that night.
"After the first leg, I'd had enough. Ended up yelling at Hisa. And Pyry. And Briggs. And they only deserved about half of it. The other half was me being an idiot and jumping to conclusions. And then Ubon showed up and... it got nasty."
I can't even directly think of what was said, then. Trying to go back there, it feels like my heart will stop. So I dance around it mentally, painting a slightly less painful picture of the truth.
"The one silver lining to the whole mess is that they called it off early after that. So nobody else could run into danger just to win some stupid prize. And it's not like it was all a waste. I'll be talking to Hisa and Ubon to clear up the mess this morning. And after that... well, I'll tell you in a bit."
Yes, it's good to end on positives. And to focus on the future. There are some things Vivi should know.
I look behind me and out the window to make sure no one can possibly be eavesdropping, and then, in a low voice...
"As for what I learned: John remembers last week. He's been investigating things on his own, saying something about how he met the Disembodied Man, who's supposedly behind everything going bad... Actually, John's got a condition, too. It's like the opposite of yours. I'm not sure what to make of it, but he's definitely a dependable guy. Lia has also met Muse, even though she wasn't here last week; I think she originally got 'eaten' by the same monster that took my eye in the dream, so that's why she didn't show up. Seems like that monster's been marking others around Road's End by eating their eyes to gain power... anyway, Liana's also up to help. Muse is the key; she told me last night that we're stuck in some sort of time loop. She managed to protect my memories by sheltering them in that dream. She's the reason we can remember. And I'm betting everyone who's met their own Muse is the same way."
It's a mouthful to relay. Just the important bits for now; I wish we could take forever, but the morning won't last that long and I've got things to do.
Originally Posted by
Vivi
"We... uh... went to investigate... the Lighthouse. We saw a flashlight at the top of it and... found out someone had broken in... they were looking for... something? Food maybe... they uh... jumped down into a bush from the top of the lighthouse... and then into the ocean... or maybe someone else did that... in the end there were two people..."
"This... was left behind... she was... some sort of animal-person... and then the other person... the only clue we got from them was a matchstick box that fell down... the box is with Alex..."
"... Spade Queen Country Room ... was written on it... have you... read or heard of that before?"
"The Lighthouse-?"
I blink. "That's weird; this evening last week I was talking to Beatrice right at the Lighthouse, and the lock was just fine. Maybe one of the people was the ghost boy, and the other was some kinda... you said she had fur? Gimme."
I take the tuft of fur in hand and squint at it. Really? This? Well, I guess werewolves and the like exist, so it's not too far-fetched...
Reaching forth into the fur as it rests on my palm, I close my eyes... and open them a few moments later.
"...yeah, she was starving. And pissed. And maybe panicking a bit. And worried about someone... someone like family, maybe a brother or a sister. But she was focused, too, like the kinda focus you'd see on a martial artist. I can't really get anything else. It's definitely no one I've met. But that should be enough to look for. Hungry, angry, and worried about family. If they were looking for food in the Lighthouse of all places, then they had to have known Rachel's been bringing the ghost boy TV dinners. You could ask him, if he doesn't just run away again, or ask her if she's told anyone else about her visits to the Lighthouse."
That takes care of the first half of Vivi's story. For the second, though...
"I'd need to get my hands on the matchbook to sniff out what's on it and who had it. Never heard of this country room place. Might be worth looking into, along with all the hundred other leads. We really need to coordinate with everyone else who remembers, or else we'll get nothing done. But if it's a matchbook... then whoever we're looking for is almost certainly a smoker. Maybe even an old-fashioned one; who uses matches these days? I'm picturing some kinda old man... or maybe a soldier. They prefer matches over lighters. Something about being easier to pack and less volatile."
That's about all the help I can offer on that front.
Originally Posted by
Vivienne
"Oh...? That is... Mother, yes..."
"...mother."
A mother. Yes, right, Vivi had a mother. Of course she did. Humans have mothers.
That person, there, holding her. That is what a 'mother' looks like.
This photograph is of a precious moment. A precious memory. A precious person.
What did those who looked at it feel?
What did Vivi feel, when she looked at that picture, when she still could?
I slowly raise my arm and reach towards the picture. It's not a decision that I make; before I realize it, my body is already reaching for it. There's something here. Something I need to grasp.
Odic Force gathers in my fingertips. They glow bright blue, and as they make contact with the glass...
The old feelings left there come to life.
They flow through me. I become a river, a lake, a receiver for that which was there the whole time, for those feelings that, for whatever reason, humans cannot perceive by themselves.
How long does it take? Going back years is always harder than a day or a week. It's like taking a journey. But once you're there, the destination is the same no matter how far you traveled. It's as if you are there, in that moment, reliving the memory...
Eventually, it ends. And I am left only as myself again.
Except...
"Vivi..."
So this is what it's like.
"Your parents... y'know... they really, really love you... and they want to see you again... more than anything, they wished that... that..."
This is what a mother's love feels like. This is what a father's love feels like.
"And you... you loved them too... so, so much..."
Yes, this is what family feels like.
It's the same. The same as that feeling I lost so long ago.
My family. A human's family. Vivi's family.
There's no difference between them at all.