Liana Skye
Location: Pinefall High Dormitory - Subaru's Room
Phase: Morning Phase
Date: 11.09.1994 (SUN)
Weather: Overcast
It's all the more real inside of her room.
"...At the moment of Subaru's..." She pauses, voice almost hollow, emotions she was doing her damn best to suppress still lingering just beneath the surface of her psyche, squirming at all the implications in the man's speech, implications of a child who had known she was going to die and must have felt so terribly alone at the end. "Panic episode. There were exactly eight of us inside of the room-"
She could remember it quite clearly, after all...
She had been playing it out in her head all night, over and over again, well aware that there were a number of things she could have done in that time to change the outcome of the night. Of course, it probably wasn't fair to herself to linger on those things, the what-ifs, the mistakes that a monster had used to kill someone while she had been in the same building as them, but she had lingered on those things nonetheless.
It haunted her.
A perfectly potent poison.
One is always harshest towards themselves.
"-Liana, Elaine, Kean, Scottie, Xeni, Subaru, Lucille, Hwan. If we count Tonkori, that count goes up to nine, if we count this... Invisible student of ours, it's a theoretical ten." Almost robotic in tone now as she quietly lists off a set of names, the suppression of her emotions is obvious and slightly strained, but her voice carries on nonetheless. "If we're going with this theory that Subaru chose to act normal to fool someone present, then it has to be one of those people, no? Unless we are fundamentally misunderstanding something about what Guildenstern is, I suppose."
She could have kept everyone in the lobby.
She could have gone with the squad upstairs, just to make sure they'd be alright, do it in person rather then trust they'd be alright by themselves, that the group was big enough to be safe, after all...
She was Subaru's neighbor.
If she had gone up she would have been right there, she might have heard something, been able to do something about it.
A single change.
---It is, of course, not fair to herself or anyone else to think that; fundamentally it might even be arrogance, assuming she would be enough to change things when it might not have mattered at all, but...
It haunts her nonetheless.
Not like the echoes of Sora's pain, those relentless aftershocks of a twenty-one year old trauma...
This one was fresh.
'隣に座ってもいいですか?'
'I've always been a guardian of kids, it was my job for awhile.
You can rely on me. We'll all get through tonight just fine.'
"If the one she was trying to fool wasn't one of those theoretical ten, she could have just told us, right?"
"Ubon, John and Sakura didn't arrive until after my first phone call. There was plenty of time for her to talk to us."
'... Are we? Two of us are already gone... Mayhaps even more. Are we truly going to be alright?'
'それとも、ウソをついているのか?'
'I-'
But she swallows it.
There's not really time to feel it, it won't help anything, and there is still time to save everyone by the end of this singularity. This is a nightmare that will end eventually, the students shouldn't be able to lose long-term so long as everyone continues to fight, she had told Subaru she was in it for the long haul and she meant that, but-
'They died and we did nothing... It's all our fault...'
---She thought she could understand it a little better now.
---Sora's rage had been imprinted on her, that had already been motive enough to destroy the one behind the massacre long before she had come to Road’s End, but this new hatred-
"Nonsense.'
'The one who's ultimately at fault is Guildenstern. No one else."
-was hers and hers alone.
One more reason for him to burn.
"...I still don't know much about stars. From what I recall, the constellation had been something like an upside down Big-Dipper, yes?" In spite of the firestorm brewing beneath her skin, the young woman tries to retain her focus, voice calm. Even if Subaru couldn't be saved this time, there may still be a chance to avenge her. "She kept glancing at the window too... If we assume that has something to do with what she realized... I didn't see anything outside when I went to look for myself, but maybe she caught a glimpse of someone? Or perhaps she was just looking at her reflection? Something you can only see in a mirror? She did say something about how it might not be stars, after all..."
She glances down at the word the girl had left, trying not to think too much about the body.
"As for Kata... It could be short for Katana. Kata is also a term in Japanese Martial Arts that means "form." Typically, it refers to a choreographed series of movements made to be practiced alone." She takes a breath, something inside of her shaking ever so slightly along with it. "That could... Point at a few things I suppose. It could be her pointing the finger at a martial artist, or saying something about the idea of being alone... From the point of view of the Turnside, it could also be a reference to Plato's "Theory of Forms" I suppose, meaning something like a manifest Idea... Although considering she seemed to use more eastern concepts, I doubt that was what she actually meant."
Her gaze drifts from word to girl, the stoicism she was doing her best to maintain fading in her eyes -flickers of sadness breaking through- before she closes them, fighting against a certain burning feeling, and-
"...I don't think... I understood any of what she was trying to tell us at all."
Had she been scared then, when she had tried to comfort her with a hug? Is that why the younger girl had jerked still? Had she already been fearing for her life right then and just felt like she couldn't say anything about it?
Had she missed something like that?
Some sort of clue as to what had been going on inside of her head?
"..."
There was no way of knowing now.