*Looks left, then right* Hmm. This is quiet. Let's liven it up with a surprise chapter, shall we? Really, the last one from me was supposed to come out BEFORE Kieran's last chapter, and he's nearly done with the NEXT one, so this works out well enough.
Chapter 5: Of meetings and Deals
As usual, I don't own Fate, Scion, etc. Otherwise I wouldn't be stuck living on as little as I make.
July 1, 2004
In a candlelit room, three people meet.
"So. Why are we in a dark room with candles? Oh, do you mind if I smoke, sir?" A man's voice calls out.
"It's for spooky ambience, mostly. It fits the 'spooky vibe' that most mages think I should have, if they show up drunk. Also, that's fine. I like messing with people, after all... but truth be told, this is a rather serious meeting." The one speaking now is an old, grey man with a white beard and red eyes, missing his usual smirk.
"Hmmm. To be called in by you of all people, it's a surprise, that's for sure. I suppose I'll light up, as we... do we both have the same brand of cigarettes?" A young woman, wearing a cloak, speaks up now.
"Huh. We do have the same brand. Small world, isn't it?" The first man responds.
"Indeed, Mr. Sisigou. Indeed. As I was saying, however, we have an interesting situation with what's going on. As for you, Miss, out of every iteration of yourself that's ever been, you're the only one to reach out to me, rather then be stuck in a rut. Congratulations on that."
"Indeed? Well, let's hear what's going on, Wizard Marshall Zelretch."
Zelretch turns, smirking, to turn on a television, then pushes in a tape to show a commercial.
Cue cheesy commercial music.
Do you have PROBLEMS with wild animals?
The video shows a scene of a bear mauling some poor saps with a picnic basket.
Do you have ISSUES with cutting metal?
The video changes to a scene of an angle grinder failing to cut through a steel beam.
Or perhaps you have issues with cutting through trees? Maybe that irritating Home Owner's Association has decided to harass you about trees on your lawn?
The video changes to a scene of a giant bill for having trees in a man's yard, and a man weeping over the bill.
Have you considered... LASERS?
Wolf, Wolf and Wolf Incorporated, are proud to present the first man portable laser rifle!
This thing can cut through wild animals like Bears like a hot knife through butter.
The video now shows a clip of a man screaming while running away from a giant black bear.
"Oh god, it's chasing me, it's CHASING ME! KILL IT!"
*BZZZT*
"Did... that thing just cut that bear in HALF?!"
It can cut through STEEL like a hot knife through butter!
The video now switches to a man running off, holding a backpack in one arm, and a laser rifle in the other, with a big cord connecting the two.
"AHA! NOW I HAVE THIS PROTOTYPE THAT I HAVE STOLEN FROM YOUR COMPANY! I SHALL SHOW YOU THAT IT IS FRAUDULENT, AND THAT WE ARE DECADES AWAY FROM A WORKING MAN PORTABLE LASER THAT CAN CUT LIKE THIS!"
*BZZZT*
"OH FUCK, IT REALLY WORKS! I JUST CUT THAT TRUCK IN HALF!"
*BZZZT*
"OH FUCK! I JUST CUT OFF MY ARM WITH IT! OH FUCK! WHAT THE HELL?! WHY DIDN'T YOU PUT SAFETY NOTICES ON THAT THING?!"
And it can cut through forests like a HOT KNIFE THROUGH BUTTER AS WELL!
The video changes to a scene of a tranquil forest, then a laser carving through half the trees in the forest, followed by a fire starting.
Keep in mind that we aren't responsible for any fires that customers may start through this method, and that lawsuits will be laughed at!
Purchasing our laser involves a contract that you will sign, that means you accept all responsibilities for things you destroy with our laser!
Buy your man portable cutting laser TODAY for just 50,000 dollars!
The commercial stops, then is rewound, before playing again.
"Oh good grief. What the hell?" Both Kairi Sisigou and the woman groan in unison, before blinking and glancing at each other.
"I can assure you, that isn't magecraft. Unfortunately, it could be worse. We had a small... incident, some time ago, involving a Norse God dropping in from another universe, and landing on Mars. Who's now somehow here on Earth. Seeing as the Great Grail War is getting ready to start, he's going to be interfering, since he lost something, and the Caster of Black has found it. Something quite possibly lethal for all life on the planet, if he figures out how to activate it."
"And so we're your people for getting it to the fellow?" Kairi Sisigou speaks up, as his companion sits, watching.
"More the people I want to see helping that Norse God get it before the Caster of Black screws us all over, and wipes out all life on the planet." Zelretch nods to them.
"So, if we help you, you'll be helping us HOW exactly?" The lady speaks up, calmly enjoying her cigarette.
"Indeed. You were interested in trying to find a way to get a true magic, were you not? As well as immortality?" Zelretch smiles, settling back in his seat, while watching her.
"I am, indeed." She nods, relaxing slightly.
"Mr. Sisigou here is your best partner for things, then. Of course, you'll have to do quid pro quo, but saving the world is going to be worth it. As I said in my message, I expect you two to join the Great Grail War as masters of Red. More specifically, as the master of Saber, and Lancer."
They both nod, obviously thinking, before Kairi Sisigou speaks up. "Sounds interesting. We can help each other out?"
"Your skills uniquely help each other's. Furthermore, if you work together, you have a chance of resurrecting your step daughter, before the Great Grail War starts. If you win and give her the wish, she can guarantee that your step daughter will be fully restored to you, necromancy or not, and that there's no issues with her incarnation post Grail War."
Kairi Sisigou goes wide eyed, then grins. "I can live with that."
The woman speaks up, next. "Outdoing my sister, and gaining a True Magic to show her up? It'll let me see who's the better of us once and for all. I'm in, too. I could use a partner for this, anyways."
She then pulls back her cloak, revealing red hair, red eyes, and a pair of glasses, before getting up to leave.
"Indeed you can, Touko Aozaki. Indeed you can." Zelretch grins widely, before continuing. "So it's a deal then? I help you two get servants, and work towards your goals, and in turn, you help that Norse God out?"
They nod, in sync.
"Good. I'll help you two out in getting your servants in a day, so you two can work things out between yourselves. Feel free to leave at any time."
"So. You have a box of these cigarettes too?" Kairi mentions, as he walks out the door.
"Not just a box, I have the crate." Touko's voice replies, as she leaves as well.
"Wow. Well, I hate the flavor, but you've gotta admit, it shows you how the world can be." Kairi's voice can be heard echoing down the hall, even as Zelretch pulls out a checklist.
"Indeed. I feel the same way, in truth. I think I could get to like working with you." Touko's voice, now faint, can be heard.
"So. Two more Masters of Red." Zelretch sighs. "Now to hope that they're enough for ensure the worst case scenario doesn't happen."
A long pause, before Zelretch calmly puts his face in one palm. "I forgot to mention that that Norse God has the ability to clone people, too. I suppose I'll have to tell them tomorrow."
The Next Day...
Zelretch walks, as both Kairi Sisigou follow.
"For you, Mr. Sisigou, we have the option of a catalyst, one that you'll truly enjoy. A fragment of the table that the Knights of the Round table sat at."
He grins widely. "That's going to be impressive."
"I also got you a small hydra, so you can make an antidote for their venom, or use it as a poison. Whatever you wish for, to be truthful. Should have enough for 3 or so doses."
"That's... thank you, sir. Why?"
Zelretch grins, widely. "I'm stacking the deck, of course. I know one way this COULD go, after all."
Kairi Sisigou nods, then looks towards his companion. "How about Miss Aozaki? What's your plan for her that brought us all the way out here, wherever... this is?"
"Oh, that? I'm stacking the deck further. Normally, the person in question can't function as a servant, but if you make a contract with her, she can work as one with you."
Kairi and Touko both blink in unison, before Touko speaks up.
"A contract, Zelretch? What kind of contract?"
He smirks at them, while moving towards a castle in the distance.
"It's hard to become a Heroic Spirit if you aren't dead yet, isn't it?"
Touko Aozaki's eyes widen, then narrow in contemplation.
"Welcome to the Realm of Shadows, the home of the legendary immortal queen, Scathach. Please don't piss her off while I negotiate with her."
Their eyes widen as he continues, swinging a sword made from gemstones, before reality alters itself.
"Kairi, feel free to summon using the catalyst I gave you, while I talk with the good Lady Scathach, unless you'd rather wait with Miss Touko and talk with her?"
Kairi nods, then moves to talk with Touko as Zelretch smirks, moving on ahead.
"So. You can bring back my step daughter?" Kairi studies Touko Aozaki, while studying the place they're in.
"I'm an expert at ensuring people can live on in dolls, if we can put the magic circuits into the dolls. That part is the expensive part. But considering the Great Grail War, and the sheer number of foes with decent magic circuits we'll be fighting, I suspect that shouldn't be a problem for either of us. As long as you're willing to sacrifice our foes or their creations, to ensure your daughter can live again, it will be fine."
A nod from Kairi, as he thinks it over. "I don't mind. I joined mostly to bring her back, after all. If working with you guarantees me that, I'll go for it wholeheartedly. As for you, I've heard rumors about the fighting between you and your sister. Anything I should know about?"
"She still wants to beat me down for killing her friend. I'm still not sure exactly HOW she resurrected him with the fifth true Magic, but she did it anyways. Aside from that, we're on relatively good terms involving us showing the other up whenever possible. This should give me the edge I need to show her that I AM able to work with a true magic, whether she likes it or not." Touko sighs, then lights another cigarette, while thinking.
Kairi nods, before smoking alongside her, watching the land they now are in.
It doesn't take long, before Zelretch comes out, with a woman that has long red hair, and red eyes. One who is armed with a spear. But it takes hours on end of bargaining between Touko and her, to agree for Scathach to work as a Servant for her. Mostly about her needing to drink Scathach under the table, or find her some truly once in a lifetime alcohol.
Much to Touko's surprise, Zelretch interjected at that point with a comment of "She'll find that on the way, and I don't think you've drunk Dwarven beer before, Lady Scathach."
After that, they work on the ritual to summon for Kairi, as well as the ritual to bind Scathach to Touko.
Author's Note:
I binge read the entirety of the Kara no Kyoukai series, to get a good idea of how to write Touko Aozaki. Even still, I thought having her be a "mysterious cloaked figure" would work well at first, just to mess with you all.
Next chapter will be back to Olga Marie Animusphere from me.
As Kieran said. This is named Anarchy for good REASON.
We have a Norse God of Innovation and Mecha, Olga Marie Animusphere, armed with Magical Sapphire, Kairi Sisigou shaping up to be a decent protagonist, along with Touko Aozaki as a partner for him, as well as Godafrid, Kotomine Shirou and Rin Tohsaka.
To go over the servants, though, currently...
Godafrid summons ????
Erik Ulricson summons ????
Shirou Kotomine summons Semiramis
Olga Marie Animusphere summons Mash Kyrielight (And Fou! For reasons...)
Rin Tohsaka summons EMIYA
Kairi Sisigou summons Mordred (as he does in canon)
Touko summons/recruits Scathach (For the beer! I've been stuck without alcohol for 2,000 years!)
Also, for the record? I got the idea of the commercial from the SAO Abridged laughing coffin commercial. You can watch it here.