Cosmos
Her first memory was the voice of someone calling out to her.
As she registered the voice, her senses slowly came to life; she could hear the voice, felt the gentle shaking of her body, and smell a pleasant fragrance she couldn’t quite place her fingers on.
When she finally opened her eyes, she saw a pair of different-colored eyes, flowing blonde hair, and a gentle face tinted with an expression she identified as concern and worry.
That was how she met Mary Fairchild ten years ago.
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She was apparently amnesiac.
Remembering nothing but her own name - Cosmos Semesta Preciel - Mary had offered her shelter while she’d look for her background and origins.
She agreed, even if somewhere deep within her mind she knew that Mary’s search would likely reveal nothing.
Still, for the time being she is allowed to live with the woman, and as she did nothing but wait, Cosmos realized a particular problem - a predicament that just dawned on her after a few days of doing nothing.
She had no idea on what her purpose is in this world.
With no memories and no connection to anyone, Cosmos felt lost, uncertain on why she’s even here; for that matter, she also didn’t know what Mary actually does aside from looking into her background, and she hasn’t even once went outside of Mary’s home after she was brought there.
Cosmos Semesta Preciel is, at this moment, very ignorant of everything around her.
But she held herself off from asking Mary. She doesn’t want to inquire, to learn more from the woman when there is still a chance, no matter how small, that she could find something about her background and past.
So she waited; at the very least, patience is a virtue that she embodies well.
And then, the day came.
Mary told her that she had found nothing about her background, about her past, before asking what she wanted to do - where she wanted to go. Cosmos bit her lip, steeled her heart, and took off her precious hat before she began talking.
“I want to learn more about this world.”
“I want to find my purpose in this world.”
“I want to find a meaning in living in this world.”
“... This is a selfish request, but… I want to do all of them with you, Mary.” She confessed, hugging her hat as she did so. “I… I want to stay here.”
An attraction that she couldn’t quite describe.
There is something about Mary that draws her in, and it was not just thanks to her kindness and gentle nature; there is something else, something more basic and fundamental about the woman that made Cosmos very comfortable around her.
However, she’s not sure if that kind woman would accept this request.
She was just a stranger after all, one that Mary found by chance, and giving her a temporary shelter is very different to letting her be a permanent resident of her home.
Refusing this request would be a very understandable reaction.
However, Mary’s reaction to this…
Was to give her a smile.
“I was actually going to offer you, but it seems you beat me to it.” She replied, a glint of amusement present in her eyes. “However, I can only do so by adopting you as my daughter. If that is okay…”
“D-daughter…?” She squeaked, dropping her hat from the sheer shock of that statement. “I-I’m just a stranger, and a mother-daughter relationship is a very important and close one…!” She shook her head, cheeks red from embarrassment and shame. “I can’t possibly be a good daughter with my amnesia… It will reflect badly on you.”
Yes.
Even if it hurts, even if she wanted to say nothing but yes, she must make sure Mary knows just what she’s offering.
Cosmos is a literal blank of a person, a very suspicious girl who showed up one day and claimed that she has no memory except for her own name. Adopting someone like her would surely bring numerous problems - even she knew for a fact that if she were in Mary’s shoes, she would likely never accept herself as a daughter, adopted or not.
Really, just letting her stay would be enough…
But once again, Mary’s response was to give her a gentle smile.
“I don’t know if you notice, Cosmos… But you are still a child, both in appearance and demeanor.” The woman began as she approaches, kneeling after she reached the teal-haired girl. “You didn’t cause any trouble during your stay here, and you were very obedient. You are very much a good daughter, with or without your amnesia.” She reassured, gently wiping the forming tears from her eyes.
“Besides, you have already said that you wanted to do everything with me. That makes me very happy.” Mary confessed, taking her fallen hat into her hands as she looked at the fluffy, giant white hat. “Even if it reflects badly on myself, my offer still stands, Cosmos.” She said as she put the hat back on her head with a smile. “Would you become my daughter…?”
The resulting hug was her answer.
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She learned a lot of things after the legal problems were finished.
For one, Mary was actually the Pope - the so-called Holy Mother and the leader of Rose Cross, and by extension, the Church as a whole. It was a revelation that dumbfounded her, especially because she only found out after the legal process of the adoption was complete.
To think such an important figure would adopt her is unthinkable, and yet, here she is, now the adopted daughter of Mary Fairchild.
Still, that was merely one thing that she learned; the other was of religion itself.
Cosmos was vaguely aware of the concept - to believe in some form of higher being who had created and controlled everything that exist in this world. In this case, that God was the creator, and you should offer prayers and obedience in order to gain His favor.
However, she has yet to understand why people - and Mary, by extension - would believe in an entity that they couldn’t even see. She is intrigued, curious on the concept of religion and faith that is believed by many.
She wanted so badly to understand.
She wanted to follow Mary’s footsteps like a good daughter.
But that is only possible if she could understand and find religion to be what she’s seeking, a guide, and perhaps illuminate why she’s here.
So she did the only thing that would satiate her curiosity: to plunge headfirst and learn about religion from Mary. Not from the Church or other institutions, but from the woman she now called her mother, and if she’s busy, to learn them herself through texts and books to make her own conclusions.
But she must first understand the most important concept in an abrahamic religion.
God.
“God is the Creator.” Mary explained. “He creates everything in this world, and everything happens according to His design. He creates us to worship Him, to do good in this world and not stray from His teachings; one are free to pursue worldly desires they seek as long as they don’t forget to thank the One who created them, and it doesn’t violate the rules and laws that He placed upon us.”
“So even if one has no purpose in life, they can at least find one in worshiping Him…” Cosmos mused.
“Correct.” Mary nodded. “Still, you may wonder why we should do so. Why we should extol His name and worship Him, placing Him above all other demons and deities that exist in this world.”
“... Because He created us…?”
Mary gave him a small smile at that response.
“That is part of the reason. The angels, demons, plants, animals, even the stars and this universe are all part of His creation; it is only natural to respect and worship such a being. However… that is only part of the reason.”
Mary stopped, taking a look at the clock before giving her an apologetic smile. “I’m afraid we’re out of time. Let’s continue this later at night if you want, okay?”
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The lesson continues in the gentle embrace of the night, illuminated only by a small, warm light of a small lamp. It was Mary’s personal study, and sitting before her like an eager, obedient student, was Cosmos who is dressed in her pajamas.
“...Because everything is a part of His design?” She tilted her head, confused.
“Yes.” Mary confirmed. “The easiest example would be you, Cosmos.”
“...I’m afraid I don’t follow.” She said after a few seconds, confusion apparent in her eyes and voice.
“Let us take your circumstances in mind.” Mary began slowly. “You woke up with no memories of your past except for your name, here in Vatican. The one who find you in this Holy City was not one of the many people who live here, but rather the Pope herself, who then offers you shelter until she can find more about you. When she didn’t find anything, she offered you to be adopted, and you accepted. You gained a place to belong, a place to call home, while she gained a daughter she always wanted deep in her heart after her close friend adopted one herself.”
The woman gave her a gentle smile. “Some might call those series of events coincidence, but I believe it to be fate, destiny orchestrated by God Himself.”
Cosmos’ eyes could only widen as she listened; after all, isn’t Mary speaking the truth? Everything that has transpired in her life thus far… isn’t it a little too perfect for it to be anything but fate designed by God himself?
“There are many more examples in this world about fate and destiny.” Mary continued. “Sooner or later, you will hear or even experience them yourself; someone who survived an accident that should have killed them by being late to work, or deciding to go home through a different road than usual only to meet an untimely end… there are many events in this world that is instigated by a series of small events or ‘coincidences.’ Those who don’t believe in God call these the butterfly effect, but as someone who does… it is merely another proof that God exists, One who controls fate on such a scale that it is unfathomable to our minds.”
Stopping to see an intensely-thinking Cosmos who tried to swallow all the information she learned just now made Mary let out a giggle, and with how the teal-haired girl doesn’t even react to that, Mary silently left to get her daughter something to drink.
Cosmos, meanwhile, is having her mind blown by what Mary said. It was like the universe suddenly makes much more sense, like finding a missing piece of the puzzle. It was enlightening. Positively amazing-
She let out a yelp as something warm is pressed against her cheeks.
“Sorry.” The woman lets out a small giggle before offering her a glass of milk. “But I thought you need something warm to drink throughout all this.”
“D-don’t scare me like that, mom…” She muttered, but accepts the offered drink and lets out a thank you.
“Well… shall we continue?”
Cosmos nodded as she drank her milk, and Mary could only give her an amused smile.
“The next question that people might have after learning this is a logical one: if everything is a part of God’s design, does that mean everything has been predetermined? Does that mean the result of our action will be the same, regardless of the action itself?” Mary mused before looking at her adopted daughter. “What do you think, Cosmos?”
The girl in question was silent, thinking back on her encounter and adoption as an example. The meeting, and her subsequent adoption, was established to be destiny, fate made by God’s hands… But what if she didn’t answer she wanted to stay with Mary back then? What if she said she wanted to be elsewhere, not with the kind woman she now calls mother?
If everything is a part of God’s plan, does that mean she’d always pick Mary? Does this mean the result is predetermined?
Mary is a kind woman; if she didn’t answer back then, Cosmos is sure she’d offer to adopt her still. But if she refused, if she had chosen to take a different path…
Would she ended up being adopted by Mary anyway?
“I… I don’t know.” Cosmos admitted, not looking at Mary’s eyes as she felt ashamed that she couldn’t figure out an answer; she looked at her glass of milk instead, slowly sipping it to comfort herself.
Then she felt a gentle hand patting her head, and she knew Mary had moved to comfort her.
“I’m sorry, Cosmos. Making this like a formal lesson seems to give you the wrong impression.” Mary admitted before taking a seat beside her adopted daughter. “There is no need to feel ashamed for admitting that you are lost, that you are not aware of the answer. Even prophets got lost when they first searched for the truth.”
Slowly, Cosmos looked at Mary’s eyes, and seeing the apologetic smile on her face was enough to make her nod.
“P, please tell me the answer, then.”
Mary nodded.
“The answer… is both a yes and a no.” She began. “There are some fate that is left unchanged, regardless of our decision; However, God has granted us the freedom of free will and choice for the most part.” Mary continued. “The future isn’t set in stone; it changes depending on our decisions and actions. One cannot say that it is their fate to lose a competition, or to get bad grades at school, if they haven’t put an effort into it.”
“But what if they’ve put effort into it, and still lose or get a bad grade?” Cosmos asked. “Does that mean it is their fate to lose, to get bad grades then?”
“Yes.”
“B-but that’s…” She trailed off, unsure.
“You must remember one thing first and foremost, Cosmos.” Mary said after a few seconds. “God is good. He is merciful and kind, even to those who do not believe in Him. His design, His plan and fate… you must believe that they are for your good, especially if you are someone who believes in Him.”
“When one has tried their hardest and the outcome doesn’t change from where they hadn’t tried anything, then it is a fate they cannot change. However, while those who do not believe in Him might curse or fell into depression, we must not forget that God loves us.” She paused, looking at Cosmos in the eyes to make sure she gets what she meant. “This means that perhaps failing is the better path. Experience is, after all, the best kind of teacher, and there are no humans who had never made a mistake or fail in this world. You just have to remember that when you fail after giving it your all, that God perhaps have a better plan for you; He is, after all, all-knowing, and He knows things that you don’t.”
Mary stopped after that, giving Cosmos time to process it all. There was only silence for a few minutes, no doubt because the girl is trying to wrap her head around this, but…
“I see.”
That silence is broken soon after.
“Can I liken fate to rails, then?” She asked, looking at her adopted mother with eyes that seeks clarity. “We are trains, going on a rail of fate that is built by God. Every time the rails branches off, we have the power to decide which rails we wanted to follow, and everytime we decided on a path, that changes the destination and the railways we crossed paths with. However, in the end we are still following rails, following the path and fate that God created for us, and He alone knows when and where every rail will end up. Sometimes the rails that branches up ends up converging again, but if that happens, then we must believe that God has a better railway for us to take in the future… Is this correct?”
To her wonder, and perhaps amazement, Mary is looking at her with pride and awe in her different-colored eyes.
“That was a brilliant metaphor, Cosmos.” The woman said after a few seconds of silence, voice filled with approval. “You immediately understood!”
“Oh, i-it’s nothing really…” She smiled sheepishly at the compliment, cheeks reddening. “This is only thanks to mother’s brilliant explanation that I can understand… and also the milk. It… helps me calm down and sort my thoughts.”
“You’re too sweet, Cosmos.” Mary said with a content sigh before continuing. “But yes. As someone learning religion and a future believer, you must never forget to look on the positive side of things whenever something bad happens. Falling sick might give you a time to rest and be with your loved ones, being separated from your loved ones might make you realize just how precious they are for you… even one’s own death might give someone else the clarity and realization that they need. There is always two sides of the coin, and remember: God wouldn’t give someone a trial that they can’t endure.”
“I’ll keep that in mind, mo…” Cosmos yawned. “...ther.”
“My, it seems it’s time for you to go to bed already.” Mary mused before standing up. “Let’s get you to bed. We can continue this tomorrow.”
“Okay…” She muttered before standing up as well, rubbing her eyes tiredly as she put the empty glass in the sink before following Mary to the bathroom, brushes her teeth, then going to Mary’s bedroom and getting tucked in her bed.
“...Mother?”
“Yes?”
“Do you have to go to work again tonight?”
“Yes. Mother’s duty as a pope is many.”
There was silence before Cosmos speaks again.
“Just this night… can you sleep with me?” She begged. “Mother needs rest too, despite being the pope.”
Mary glanced away, unsure, before Cosmos gives her that look and said the words that always works for her mother.
“Please?”
“... Okay.” Mary concedes after a few seconds of deliberation; her task tonight isn’t important enough that skipping would bring considerable consequences, and she just couldn’t say no to those puppy eyes and pleading voice.
A few minutes later, mother and daughter are hugging each other as both drifted to sleep.
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An instant.
A look.
The moment she laid her eyes on the sleeping form of her mother--
That's all it took to shatter Cosmos Fairchild.
With every second that passed, with every scream that she shouted, with every tears that fell from her eyes, memories flashed through her mind before they breaks.
It's only natural.
Every lesson, every fond memories only serve as a reminder.
And...
and...
Her mind breaks.
Her eyes lost its light, and she mercifully fell into unconsciousness.
And the last memory that she saw as she sink deep into the darkness was not that of her mother, or the time they spent together.
But of a man in light, a world of crystals, and the thrones that overlook the world--
Originally Posted by Alyx Kingsleigh
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