"A name, you say?" the boy who called himself Matou Shinji murmured, as he came to a halt. It was all too easy to dismiss something like a name as unimportant, as meaning little, but in reality, what one called something - or someone - affected what one thought of that thing, or person. More to the point, if he didn't assign Rin a name to use when she was disguised, then he might very well slip and call her Tohsaka, leading to her calling him Matou, which could be bad if they didn't want their identities exposed.
...which they didn't around Hermione Granger, given their history with her.
"Yes..." Tohsaka whispered, walking over to him and taking his hand, with the boy - or at least part of him - stiffening at her touch. "A name...something for you to call me...something secret. Just between us."
She looked down, almost shyly, though Shinji could feel her blush, as she seemed...hot, and she seemed to be panting, or at least, breathing hard.
"...you do know that I'll have to tell Emilia your name too, right?" the boy inquired gently, with Rin seeming to flinch at this as she looked up, startled, almost shaking.
"You didn't give her a name already, did you?" the girl asked, pouting.
"Of course not," Shinji replied, his hand squeezing hers reassuringly, as he turned to face her completely. "The only one I'll name is you."
"I'm...special then?" she questioned, her sea-colored eyes looking almost vulnerable as she peered at him through long lashes.
"You've always been special to me, Tohsaka," the boy answered smoothly, with the girl's face and hands going red. For a moment, he wondered if the blush extended to the rest of her body, and what else he could do to make her go red like that, but with some effort, he cleared his mind, reminding himself that he needed to focus.
"I--"
"You asked for a name," Shinji murmured, giving the matter some thought to distract himself from the memory of what an older Tohsaka had looked - had felt like - in his arms. "Names have power, you know. More than you know. Are you sure you want me to...?"
"Please...give it to me?" she asked as she took a step closer.
"Alright," the boy whispered, closing his eyes. "I'll give you a name..." He allowed himself to wonder what kind of name would best fit her, but then dismissed those thoughts. He didn't want to name her as she was, but as she would be when disguised. 'But what kind of disguise would do?' His initial thought was to simply have her put on the outfit that he'd given for Christmas, but well, Hilde had already co-opted that, and he didn't want to step on the tanuki's toes. Briefly, he considered something minimal, like putting her in a kimono and having her wear her hair up, or putting her in robes and styling her hair differently, but those he dismissed as well, as that would be no good around Granger - the actress would see through such a disguise easily.
'I have to change at least one big feature of hers, since how many Japanese people do you see with black hair and sea-colored eyes...?'
He could offer her contacts, but that left the issue of her hair, which was by far more recognizable.
'...wait. With those eyes, if she had different colored hair and wore it in a certain way...'
Could it work, he wondered?
'Hm...if I dressed her in whites and blues and dyed her hair blonde, that might work. She would have to wear something more formal than she does now, something that makes her look...noble, but I could see her acting the part.' She'd been something distant, unapproachable, once - if she could act that way again, she could seem like a very different person. 'If she styled her hair in curls, wore white gloves and...perhaps turned a parasol into a mystic code...yes, she'd be quite unrecognizable.'
The name of such a person, a person as bright and untouchable as the snow...
"Lumi," he offered, recalling something Andreas had mentioned to him once.
"Huh?"
"It means snow," the boy related, "in Finnish."
"Finnish," Rin repeated, her expression stiffening a bit. "Why a Finnish name?"
"Because with your beautiful eyes, I see you looking the part if you were dress up a bit and perhaps dye your hair."
"Dye...?"
"Yes. A lovely golden blonde, I was thinking," the boy replied, thinking of Elesa's appearance. "While you look lovely as you are, I'd rather that when you are disguised, no one can recognize you but me."
"Ah..."
"That and practically speaking, your features, framed well, could pass as someone from Scandanavia or Finland," Shinji explained. "The north is home to some of the most fearsome fighters I know. And well, such features aren't uncommon in England."
"...fearsome...you mean...the Edelfelts?!" Rin muttered, her face paling though her expression was...odd. "You want me...to look like one of them?"
"Are you saying no?"
The girl flinched.
"I...no, I...that's not what I mean," the girl said weakly. "I...if you really want me to...I...I can disguise myself as...one of them. If that is what you want."
"It would make things easier, Lumi," Shinji murmured, with the girl trembling as he said these words. "Unless...you don't want to make things easy..."
Rin swallowed.
"No. No...I'm easy," she responded almost desperately. "I...I'll be whoever - whatever - you want me to be."
"Great," Shinji said, with some relief. "I'll make sure to get you some clothes from LeShin before we head off. Is there anything else...?"
"J-just one thing," the Japanese girl whispered, looking almost frightened, yet seeming like she'd made up her mind.
"Yes?"
"C-close your eyes?" she asked.
Shinji raised an eyebrow at the strange request, but complied, as he was sure that Tohsaka wouldn't hurt him, or try anything too strange in his house.
"And th--"
But the boy's words were cut off as the girl stepped close to him and reached out with her free hand, pulling his head to hers in a desperate kiss, her tongue slipping into his mouth as she pressed herself against him. The sensation was...familiar yet strange, with her smell, the touch of her, the taste of her, surging to the forefront of his mind as she moaned, and unbidden, he found himself kissing back, as if it was second nature.
The hand holding her hand was guided, pulled down and around before she released it, with the boy finding that his hand was resting on her pleasantly shaped derriere. Almost instinctively, he cupped and squeezed, fingers sliding from buttock to inner thigh in a way that was almost possessive, and Tohsaka Rin moaned as his hands brushed somewhere sensitive, somewhere moist, somewhere hot.
Her thighs tightened on his hand as she ground against it, against him, her kisses growing more heated, more frantic, more hungry as her body writhed and squirmed in a needy, desperate manner.
"Ah...ah..."
"To, Tohsaka, wh..."
And then the girl's entire body went stiff as she cried out, her thighs clamping down hard as her hips twitched and jerked and bucked, the moist patch he was rubbing against thoroughly soaked now, filling the air with a heady musk that threatened to blow away what remained of his sanity, and certainly helped make him quite stiff.
"Ma...tou..." Tohsaka whispered, her lips just barely parted from his, her voice and face dazed when she could speak once more. "Matou...take...me..." She leaned in again, kissing him. "Let's...go...together. Make. A secret memory. Just two of us."
"Just...ahhhh," the boy moaned as she kissed him, finding the heat of her nigh irresistible.
"But...I...what about..." There was a word that was supposed to be there, something important, something vitally so, but for the life of him, he couldn't quite remember what it was supposed to be.
"It doesn't matter," she said as she kissed him desperately, pulling him closer as the entire world seemed to fall away except for the heat in his loins, the heat in his chest, the heat in his mind. He...he wanted her. Wanted to make her his. To claim her maidenhood and make her moan and scream and call his name as he drove into her, ravished her.
"Senpai."
"Take me..." Rin whispered, no moaned. "My first time....my everything..."
Shinji growled as her words sank in, pleasing to his ear. To have the girl he once admired throwing herself at him like this, yes, how could he refuse, how could he--
"Senpai."
He opened his eyes then, noting that down the hallway, there was a head of strawberry blonde hair, which he didn't recognize for a moment as Tohsaka kissed him...and then he did recognize who it was, and the heat in him died as he pulled - jerked - back, his eyes wide.
"I..."
"Ma...matou?" Rin questioned, looking at him with passion in her eyes. "Will you--"
The way she looked at him as she stepped closer was almost irresistible as she took his hand again, placing it on her chest.
"Will you--"
But Shinji yanked back his arm, his eyes wide, as he saw the head of hair disappear around the corner.
"Mashu!" he whispered, with Rin looking up, confused at why he would say another woman's name at a time like this. "Mashu, wait!" he said, brushing past Tohsaka to go after the Alchemist, leaving the Japanese girl crying out after him, alone.
Sadly, he doesn't find her downstairs. He didn't find her in his rooms, or thankfully, at the desk, having sent something to Sion. In fact, she didn't appear before him until later that night, during their scheduled session, when Mashu inquired as to his intentions regarding Miss Tohsaka, as...his behavior that she had seen was quite problematic.
"If you had not seen me, what would have happened?" she asked, her violet gaze piercing and not entirely kind. "Would you have forgotten those you made commitments to because of a momentary bit of pleasure, senpai?"
"I...no! That wouldn't happen! I...my promises mean everything to me!"
"Even the promises that Matou Shinji made in another life?"
Her words were like shards of ice, ripping into his chest, as the boy slumped.
He hadn't...quite...decided what his past life was to him, but...
"I won't break those promises, not when without the ones I pledged to, I..." the boy shook his head. "...I would be nothing. Without Sokaris. Without those words" he said in almost a whisper.
"Yes, you would," Mashu agreed. "Even if you are now called the modern Lancelot. Even if you are called the Hero of the Ministry. Even if you have won honors, it is worth nothing if you cannot keep your word."
There was a long, unbearable moment of silence.
"...you're right," the boy whispered, hanging his head.
"Then...what happened with Miss Tohsaka that you nearly forgot?"
Shinji hung his head.
"I...one thing led to another...I didn't mean for things to go that far," he said morosely. "All I wanted...I just want to be her friend, her patron. To be to her like Sokaris is to me." Which sounded well and good except--
"You wish for her to completely devote her life to you? To be willing to lay down everything for you?"
"I--no! No, why would you say that?!" he protested.
"Because that is what the Director is to you - someone you worship. Someone you would do anything for, even if it meant becoming the enemy of the world."
The silence this time was profound and lasted for far longer than a mere moment.
"...I did say that, didn't I?" he eventually admitted, recalling when he had made such a vow.
"You did. Thus...do you wish for Tohsaka to be your ally, even if it meant that she would become an enemy of the world?"
"No!" The boy almost recoiled at the thought. "I...I wouldn't do that to her!"
"But you would lead her down a web of desire, taking advantage of her - and turning others into her enemies."
"I--"
"What if I had not been there? How far would things have gone?"
"I...I would have stopped. I...would have--"
"Would you?"
"I...I think so?"
"...your actions did not seem like that of someone about to stop."
"Then what do you think I would have done?" he demanded, his hands balling into fists.
"Had I not called out, I have no doubt you would have engaged in sexual relations with Miss Tohsaka, and that you would even now be entwined with her," was the blunt response, one that almost made the boy double over.
"I..."
"Imagine that it was not I who had walked in, but another."
"Like who?"
"Like Miss Lovegood. What would she have thought?"
The air seemed to freeze as Shinji remembered that yes, his predecessor had been in a relationship with Luna - something that was hard to recall sometimes when the Trial of Courage had given him nearly as much time together with Tohsaka, with the memories mixing up into one another.
"Oh..."
"That's right, senpai, oh."
Shinji swallowed.
"Uh...I uh..."
"It is a poor commander who becomes so...intimately involved in the lives of his squad," Mashu mentioned, with Shinji closing his eyes. "But I suppose that is why you are in Albion this year, to learn - to grow."
"I..."
"This will not happen again."
"It won't. I promise."