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Thread: Wilting Sakura [Oneshot]

  1. #1
    Whew! About to slip down. VelspertheCat's Avatar
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    Wilting Sakura [Oneshot]

    Shinji and Rider are facing Saber and Shirou at the school. Shinji has Sakura in a shaky hold with a knife to her throat. Sakura looks like she's about to pass out from fear.

    Rider is keeping Saber at bay, but Shirou looks absolutely furious with Shinji.

    [Rider]
    Yayyyyy-ayayayyyyayyy
    We at it again, everybody now,
    Hands in the air, its a stick up, stick up,
    No funny business or she'll get jacked up, jacked up!

    Shinji jerked Sakura, who trembles even worse, enraging Shirou even more, if it's possible.

    [Rider]
    You test I, she gon' die,
    And at her funeral ya grandpa gon' cry.

    Shinji draws a bit of blood to show he means business.

    [Rider]
    So, you jackass kiss the floor floor,
    And the Servant set her sword down slow, slow.
    If you don’t wanna end up dead,
    You do everything to keep Shy Sakura safe!

    Rider used one of her nails to somehow gaze back at Sakura.

    Tell them Sakura!

    [Sakura]
    (Murmurs)

    [Rider]
    No one in the school can hear you,
    Shy Sakura, use your outside voice!

    Sakura squirms and continues mumbling to herself in abject horror, building up to something great.

    [Rider]
    We don’t have time for this!

    [Sakura]
    HAHAA!

    Shinji jerked in place along with the others.

    [Rider]
    Let’s go!

    He stared at his sister like she had gone mad, but Shirou merely clenched his fist from where he laid down on the ground. Saber glared over at the redhead like he was the idiot here, but she reluctantly set down her sword as well. Rider began to strut around the two of them, swaying her hips in beat.

    [Rider]
    So stay on the ground its a stick up, stick up!
    Your Command Spells we'll pick up, pick up!
    Unload the spells, move your ass,
    We gettin victory, tell them Shy Sakura!

    [Sakura]
    (Murmurs)

    Shinji lets out a sigh of physical pain at his sister's antics. One would think she was being held up at knife point.

    [Rider]
    Please, please use your words!
    Just imagine that everyone's naked.

    Sakura suddenly went still.

    Rider and Shinji traded a terrified look as Sakura's eyes went glossy as she stared at Shirou and Saber. A hint of droll came out of the corner of her mouth.

    [Rider]
    Uh, oh!
    Worm alert! She really pictured them naked.

    [Sakura]
    (HAHAA!)

    Saber and Shirou traded awkward glances. Shinji would have slapped himself on the face if it didn't involve stabbing his out.

    [Shinji]
    Why did I think you could do this?

    Saber sprung to her feet in the moment that Rider and Shinji's attention was away from her.

    [Shinji]
    Rider, hostage on the move!

    However, for either an incredibly confusing reason - possibly involving too much time involving staring at Shirou and imagining him naked, Sakura took Shinji's Book of False Attendant away from him.

    (WAVE OF DARKNESS)

    It impossibly curved back and smashed into the two Matou siblings when Sakura's absorption trait kicked in. Both of them wind up crashing into and through one of the doors in the classroom.

    [Rider]
    They shot himselves...*look of disgust* and why is that book so pathetic?

    The unconscious Shinji and baffled Shirou merely crossed their legs to cover their crotches.

    (police siren)

    [Rider]
    The police are on their way, good luck Shy Sakura!
    Bye, bye!

    Rider went intangible. Saber and Shirou simply traded looks of awkwardness. He shrugged and she merely leapt out through the nearby window to get back home.

    [Sakura]
    HAHAA!

    Shirou twitched as Sakura managed to leap back to her feet. Dust and plaster drops off her school uniform as Blood Fort Andromeda begins to fade away.

    ......

    They both stare at each other.

    [Sakura]
    Sakura, sister-fucker... *glares at Shirou* ... and I'm back from the dead,
    Brain bored with this kidnapping, so I shot my own self.
    Don't get the name twisted, cause I’m crazy as shit!
    My goddamned worms are probably bigger than your di...!

    Rider suddenly appears, reducing Sakura to a mumbling shadow of herself. Shirou is merely staring at Sakura in horror.

    [Rider]
    Aye! I forgot these Command Spells,
    And also this guy.

    The Gorgon slung Shirou over her shoulder, causing him to yelp. She merely answers him by slapping his ass.

    [Rider]
    Come on, we're gonna have sex!
    Too-da-loo!

    Before Sakura could react, both Rider and Shirou had vanished out through the shattered window Saber had created.

    [Sakura]
    ...was it something that I said? *pouts, turning to lightly kick Shinji in the side*

    *****

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6_W_xLWtNa0&NR=1 : Like I could resist joining in for long.
    Spoiler:
    Is it pimping myself out if it's hidden?
    Index of Stories, Conceptual Writing, and Scenes


  2. #2
    Don't @ me if your fanfic doesn't even have Shirou/Illya shipping k thnx ItsaRandomUsername's Avatar
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    AMAZING
    McJon01: We all know that the real reason Archer would lose to Rider is because the events of his own Holy Grail War left him with a particular weakness toward "older sister" types.
    My Fanfics. Read 'em. Or not.



  3. #3
    全力後輩 - Zenryoku Kohai Altima of the Gates's Avatar
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    Ok, I thought the song was familiar, and was surprised when I looked at the video. Very nice.

    Though, what is this, the "use funny rap songs to lampoon Sakura series"? Crap, I'm giving them ideas....

    Well, least it's not Weird Al yet...



    "Fate/stay night: not really an eroge, and not really a cooking sim, but actually an RPG wherein everyone’s primary stat is “self-loathing” and the goal is to level it up beyond all the other characters."


  4. #4
    Fuckin' chicken grill!!! Kotonoha's Avatar
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    Crap, I'm giving them ideas....
    You sure do like taking credit for things...

  5. #5
    全力後輩 - Zenryoku Kohai Altima of the Gates's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kotonoha View Post
    You sure do like taking credit for things...
    And you like getting on my jock, lol.



    "Fate/stay night: not really an eroge, and not really a cooking sim, but actually an RPG wherein everyone’s primary stat is “self-loathing” and the goal is to level it up beyond all the other characters."


  6. #6
    Fuckin' chicken grill!!! Kotonoha's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Altima of the Gates View Post
    getting on my jock
    I don't know what that means but it sounds gross :(

  7. #7
    Whew! About to slip down. VelspertheCat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Altima of the Gates View Post
    Ok, I thought the song was familiar, and was surprised when I looked at the video. Very nice.

    Though, what is this, the "use funny rap songs to lampoon Sakura series"? Crap, I'm giving them ideas....

    Well, least it's not Weird Al yet...
    I just like the mental image of Sakura flipping out, really. ^^
    Spoiler:
    Is it pimping myself out if it's hidden?
    Index of Stories, Conceptual Writing, and Scenes


  8. #8
    全力後輩 - Zenryoku Kohai Altima of the Gates's Avatar
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    @Koto:
    Look it up if you're curious. But it was a joke, so don't worry about it.

    I just like the mental image of Sakura flipping out, really. ^^
    Well yeah, I guessed that.



    "Fate/stay night: not really an eroge, and not really a cooking sim, but actually an RPG wherein everyone’s primary stat is “self-loathing” and the goal is to level it up beyond all the other characters."


  9. #9
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six lethum's Avatar
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    I like you, be my friend.

  10. #10
    Whew! About to slip down. VelspertheCat's Avatar
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    I'll be over with nachos in a bit.
    Spoiler:
    Is it pimping myself out if it's hidden?
    Index of Stories, Conceptual Writing, and Scenes


  11. #11
    Don't @ me if your fanfic doesn't even have Shirou/Illya shipping k thnx ItsaRandomUsername's Avatar
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    @Altima:

    Weird Al, you say?~
    McJon01: We all know that the real reason Archer would lose to Rider is because the events of his own Holy Grail War left him with a particular weakness toward "older sister" types.
    My Fanfics. Read 'em. Or not.



  12. #12
    Zap! Alulim's Avatar
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    Another one rides the bus?
    Everything I say is a lie.
    LIKE A KING


    Quote Originally Posted by Komrade Kwestions View Post
    "It's not gay, it's magecraft!"

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