Hmm, I like the contrast between "quiet lagoon" and "flames of the revolution", but I wonder if you can condense at least one of them better. As things are, it still feels a little too long.
Idk what "Rassvet Peremen" means tho. Tried googling it but didn't find much. Apparently "Rassvet" is either a place in Moscow, or "sunrise"? If you're going for the latter (or some clever double-meaning thing), maybe you can integrate that to the subtitle somewhere? You know how communism/Bolshevik can be associated with a "Red Sun" somehow... or was that exclusive to Mao? Idk enough about 20th-century commie history tbh.
So from those ideas I have so far, something like...The Quiet Lagoon Underneath the Crimson Dawn? Just spitballing here.