Year: 2018
Location: Royal Quarters, Pinyang City
“Umm, Yingying, do you have some time?”
Sometime after dinner, I approach Yingying who was cleaning up in the kitchen. Alisha was in her room and Assassin was taking her bath, so it was just Yingying and I alone for a bit.
“What is it, dear? Did you need something?” Yingying asks with a smile, her hands moving busily even as she speaks.
“Ah, it’s nothing really important. I was just wondering if you’re free tomorrow.” I respond a little awkwardly, doing my best to muster up the courage. “If you are… would you like to go on a date?”
“Eh? A date?” Yingying gasps lightly. “Are you sure? Will it be okay with you?”
“Yeah, no problem. Besides, last time, I did promise you another date, didn’t I? I was thinking it was about time we cashed in that promise.” I declare, trying my best to act the part of the good partner.
Thanks to the Emperor’s pressure and some other recent developments, I’ve been feeling like I should take my relationship with Yingying seriously. I heard from Assassin that the 3-month mark is an important milestone for new couples, so it seems like it’s about the time to step things up. If I get complacent and let things continue as they are, I’m not sure how things will turn out.
And well, while there’s all those practical reasons, I also can’t deny that there’s a part of me that just wants to go on a date with Yingying...
“I see. In that case, I would be happy to accept your offer. Let’s go, dear.” Yingying readily accepts.
“Great. In that case, it’s settled.” I affirm.
“Oh, but what will we be doing? Do you have something specific in mind, dear?” Yingying wonders.
“Oh, um… well, last time, you planned everything, so I guess this time I’ll figure something out… probably. Maybe don’t get your hopes up too much.” I nervously declare.
“Hehe, very well. In that case, I shall await tomorrow with great anticipation. I’m looking forward to what you decide on, dear.” Yingying beams innocently.
Ugh, pressure and expectations rising to 1000%. Dammit, if she smiles at me like that, I have no choice but to use everything I have to meet her hopes. Though considering my barren dating experience, that everything is not much at all…
Ah, don’t think like that. I’m sure Assassin would also scold me for over-thinking things. What’s important isn’t thinking about what’s considered good but thinking about what would make Yingying happy. If I follow that train of thought, surely something should come of it.
All right, the date is set. Let’s give it our all.
Year: 2018
Location: Municipal Library, Pinyang City
“Well, this is it…”
With trepidation and excitement, the two of us step in front of the location for today’s date: the municipal public library.
After a sleepless night spent worrying about it, I finally decided that it would be good to visit the library together today. As far as I’m aware, reading is basically Yingying’s only hobby, so I thought that the library would be a good idea. It’s a little unorthodox, but I think it suits her. Besides, there isn’t exactly an amusement park in this world or anything, so this is the best we can go for.
“Umm, is this okay? I know I chose it, but perhaps you’d like to do something else?” I hesitantly ask Yingying at the last moment.
Even after all that planning, my stomach was full of butterflies. Last time around, the date began before I even knew it, but this time I’ve had all the time in the world to get cold feet and fret over the details. It’s almost inevitable that I’ll screw up at some point, and I’m not even confident I didn’t already mess up at the starting line.
Yingying, however, shakes her head.
“Not at all. I’m quite happy.” She affirms cheerfully. “I told you this before, but I practically spent my half my childhood in the public library. Lately, though, I haven’t been able to visit very often, so coming here is always a pleasure.”
“I-I see… then let’s both enjoy ourselves today.” I declare, still feeling nervous.
“Yes, let us.” Yingying agrees before energetically leading me into the library.
Huh, she sure is chipper today, compared to the nervous wreck that I am. She’s usually somewhat shy herself, so I wasn’t expecting this amount of energy from her. Perhaps it’s because this is already our second date? Or maybe it’s because the library is her turf? Either way, she’s already taking the lead while I’m still quaking in my boots.
With Yingying pulling me along, the two of us enter the municipal library. It’s actually my first time inside, so I find myself a little taken back.
In terms of concept, it was not much different from the libraries of my world, a place where you could browse and check out books. The only difference was the atmosphere and presentation.
An expansive labyrinth of shelves that stretched from end to end. Every possible type of book was neatly and forcefully crammed into their respective sections. Between each shelf was only the narrowest gap for walking and there were only a few cramped reading spaces where one could sit. Even so, a whole sea of people could be found squirming about through the labyrinth at every hour. In comparison, the libraries I’m used to are a lot more “service” oriented, having nice open spaces and a welcoming atmosphere, as opposed to this world’s tactic of just shoving as many books as they can in your face. And this is just the first floor! Are all the other floors just like this? Overall, it was a veritable forest of knowledge where one hardly had enough room to even breathe.
Yet, amongst this oppressive atmosphere that would kill anyone with claustrophobia, Yingying’s eyes were sparkling. For her, it probably looked no different than a candy shop would to a child. Well, as long as she’s happy, I have no complaints either.
Soon enough, the two of us pick out some books that catch our eye and find a place to sit. While seated next to each other, we begin to settle in and dig into our picks when I notice a major problem.
One of my arms is still in a cast. Naturally, it’s pretty difficult to hold a book and turn the page with only one arm.
“Gnnnn…” I groan as I struggle to read.
“Umm, do you need any help, dear?” Yingying asks, quick to notice my endeavors.
“Ah, no, you don’t have to bother yourself. You want to read your own book, right?” I respond softly. Naturally, having Yingying turn the pages for me would mean that she can’t concentrate on her own reading.
“Oh, it’s no problem. Here, let’s read it together!” She suggests and immediately scoots closer.
Getting close enough so that she could comfortably see the book and flip the pages, Yingying begins reading alongside me. Whenever she herself finishes reading the pages, she dutifully checks on me if it’s okay to turn, allowing us both to enjoy the story at our own pace without missing anything.
“Ummm, sorry about this…” I find myself apologizing after her considerate actions.
“Hm? It’s really not a big deal. I’m just holding the book.” She responds happily.
“No, that’s not what I meant. I’m… sorry for getting hurt again…” I clarify gloomily. “Last time, I promised you that I would try to not get hurt anymore. But I ended up breaking our promise.”
“Ah, I guess that’s true.” Yingying mutters, shifting to a more somber voice. “But it couldn’t be helped right? So, I don’t think it’s your fault.”
“Even so, I did get myself hospitalized again. I didn’t take our promise seriously enough and I ended up making you upset again…” I sulk.
That’s right. Once again, I acted really recklessly without any care for my own well-being. Even after I got scolded by Assassin and Yingying asked me to take better care of myself, I still went and tried to punch a Servant, naturally getting my hand cut off in the exchange. If I were a little smarter, a little stronger, or just more competent, this wouldn’t have happened.
“No, dear. I should be the one apologizing.” Yingying suddenly states to my surprise. “I’m sorry. I forced an unreasonable demand on you. Even though I knew your job was dangerous, I selfishly asked you to avoid danger. I don’t think that was right of me either.”
“N-no, you didn’t do anything wrong. You were genuinely upset that I got hurt, right? So, it’s only natural to not want that to happen again.” I argue.
“It’s true that I don’t like seeing you get hurt. But I think that, as a proper wife, I need to learn to put up with at least that much. It’d be too unreasonable otherwise, now that I know what your job entails and what kind of person you are.” She states gently.
“What kind of person I am?” I repeat confused.
“Yes, that’s right.” She nods tenderly. “My husband is someone who always gives it his all to complete his duties, even at the cost of his own health. And I think that part of him is really cool.”
“Ah.” I stutter, completely stunned. I feel as if my heart was just clogged by a lump of sugar and stopped entirely.
“Hehe.” Yingying giggles at my reaction. “Well, shall we continue reading?”
Perhaps spurred by the mood, she scoots even closer to me and presses her shoulder against mine, causing my stopped heart to immediately jumpstart again.
Woah, woah, woah, close, close, close! Isn’t she a bit too close?
Yingying’s so close that a bit of her hair is tickling my cheeks. Our little huddle has become more or a cuddle at this point and we’re positioned in such a way that my injured arm was pushed up against her rib cage, just beneath her chest. Occasionally, when she breathes out, they press down and touch the end of my elbow. The warmth and softness of her body can be felt even through my numb arm and it’s driving me a little crazy.
If she gets this close so innocently, I won’t know what to think. Perhaps I should tell her so.
“Umm, Yingying…” I whisper into her ear, out of respect for the library rules.
“Eeek!” She suddenly shrieks and bounces away.
“Huh? Wh-what’s wrong?” I ask worried about her strange reaction.
“O-oh, it’s nothing dear. Don’t worry about it…” Yingying replies with a gentle smile, but I also notice her cupping the ear I spoke into with both hands.
Hm? Could it be that…
“Um, let’s see. What line were we on?” Yingying asks rhetorically, sliding back next to me again, but this time with a bit of extra distance between us.
It seems that she’s trying to get things back on track, but a sudden little mischievous spirit takes over me. I slowly and naturally lean in a bit closer while she’s focused on the book and—
“Wooooh~” I puff a bit of air into Yingying’s defenseless ear.
“Kyaaa!” She yelps again, drawing away quickly. “D-d-d-dear! Geez…”
“Hahaha, sorry, sorry. I won’t do it again.” I promise while trying to stifle a laugh.
It seems that Yingying’s ears are her weak spot. I never would’ve expected she’d have such a cute weakness.
Satisfied with my little prank, I turn back to the book. Unbeknownst to me, though, a sly woman slides into my blind spot at that exact moment.
“Hoooooo~” Yingying abruptly breathes into my ear.
“Howaaasgksh!” I splutter out a strange noise.
A weird tingle quickly races down the back of my neck, startling my entire nervous system. Completely shaken up, I end up do a weird little jimmy dance to stomp out the euphoric sensation.
“Hehe, payback success.” Yingying giggles giddily at my reaction.
Geez, that’s not fair at all. Is it just me or is my wife a bit too adorable? If she keeps this up, I’ll really be in trouble…
With our public displays of affection out of the way, the two of us eventually got settled in once again and properly sat down to just read together. Shoulder by shoulder, basking in each other’s presence, we worked together to get through the book and occasionally whispered our thoughts of the material to each other.
Even within the crowded, public library, it feels as if we’re in a cozy little bubble for just the two of us. With eyes only for each other, nothing else seemed to matter. No need for expectations, worries, or ambitions. No one but the woman next to me. Nothing more and nothing less than the enjoyment of the moment.
And with each turn of the page, time flies by…
“Ahhh, that was a great ending. I’m glad we managed to get through the whole novel today.” Yingying remarks pleasantly as the two of us exited the library at the end of the day.
“Indeed. It was a little predictable but a very suitable ending.” I agree as I personally stretch myself out after being released from the cramped labyrinth.
Though we had progressed through it at a leisurely pace, the two of us managed to get through the novel we were reading just before we had to head back. To summarize, it was a popular romance novel – this world’s apparent specialty – about a love that starts from childhood. Though the boy and girl were madly in love with each other, the girl ends up chosen to be an Imperial Princess. However, spurred by the power of love, the boy works super hard and manages to win her hand in marriage. The story ends with the Emperor personally giving them his blessings during a dramatic marriage ceremony.
Frankly, the propagandic message was rather heavy-handed – work hard and you too can marry the girl that you adore – but it was overall a sweet story. Truth be told, I haven’t actually read that many fictional stories for the sake of pure enjoyment in the past. I only really cared about studying so these kinds of things never really interested me, but now I’m glad I got the chance to read this one.
“Huh?”
As I step out of the library entranceway, I abruptly get hit by a weird feeling. Now that I think about it, when I was standing here earlier today, I was a complete nervous wreck. But now, without even realizing it, I feel really relaxed. That’s weird.
“Mn, thanks for asking me out today, dear.” Yingying suddenly calls out as I’m pondering my change of moods. “Today was really fun. You had fun too, right, dear?”
“Huh? Oh… o-oh right. Yeah, it was fun.” I agree after pausing stunned for a second.
So, that’s it. It all makes sense now.
It was fun.
Today, I had fun.
I get it now. My nervousness went away because I was having fun. I was having so much fun that I didn’t have time to be nervous.
All I did today was go to a library and read a book, but it was honestly so much fun that I’ll never forget it. Picking out a book, turning the pages, and discussing the story, such simple things were incredibly enjoyable.
I never knew. I didn’t know that all the things I avoided could be so meaningful.
Only now do I finally realize that even the most mundane things can be fun if the right person is by your side. That joy can be derived simply by being with someone else.
Deep down, I understand the truth of it all.
Today, I had fun with Yingying. That was the only thing that mattered…
“Alright, shall we go back now, dear?” Yingying suggests.
“Yeah, let’s head back home.” I readily agree.
Closing off our date once and for all, the two of us head back to the royal quarters side-by-side. Even as we leave, the memories of today stay firm in our hearts, something that we will share forever.
Making sure to keep track of each other, we blend in with the ever-present crowd and make our way through the city streets alongside the myriad buildings, returning to the mundanity of regular life once again.
As we walk back in that carefree manner, I randomly notice a reflective window on the side of one of the buildings. In it, images of the plentiful people passing-by can be seen.
And among them, I spot a certain man with a sappy smile on his face.
He was grinning from ear to ear as if he had just won the lottery or something. Puffing his chest out and taking long strides, he exuded an aura of pride and fulfillment that could only be found in the winners of life who had absolutely no worries. But worst of all was that damn look in his eyes that made him look like he was just waiting to brag to the world about how good his life was.
… it pisses me off.
The moment I see him, I’m filled with an intense hatred for the man in the mirror. I immediately want to shout angry profanities at him.
Oi, what’s so funny, asshole!? Who the hell do you think you are? Wipe that grin off your face right now!
You don’t deserve this. You’re not worthy. This joy doesn’t belong to you. Only normal people are allowed a normal happiness.
Have you forgotten who you are? Don’t you know what you’ve done? Did you really think that you could become a normal person? Well, too bad! Repent properly, jackass!
A murderer doesn’t get to smile like that. A serial killer like you isn’t allowed to be happy. Monsters aren’t supposed to fall in love.
So please… just stop it already. Stop trying to be happy…
My heart can’t take this anymore…
“Hm? Is something wrong, dear?” Yingying abruptly calls out to me as I stand still and stunned in the middle of the street.
“Huh? Oh… no, it’s nothing.” I snap back to reality and reply stoically. “Let’s go home.”
Brought back to my senses, I begin to walk again and head back. As I do, I take one last glance at the man in the mirror and notice that the smile has melted off his face.
… serves him right.
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