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Thread: Create-A-Servant 3

  1. #3601
    Foreigner Sheetematic Universe! DelRey's Avatar
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    Vesuvius: what a beast. feels more like a end boss Monster than a real servant when it can wreck whole cities. How a Master could control this thing and survives is beyond me. After NittyGritty's Kheimon sheet from the contest, I thought about Vesuvius being a Fire Type of this kind.

    Saber and Riding: Yes i am annoyed by it too, but the function of Riding is more like using modern vehicles if needed, but why only saber and not the other knight classes is weird. I only did not Saber, that was basically all Knight Classes at once and ignored this skill, because it doesnt really add something most of the times.

    Koga: thank you for the review. I can try to describe more of the optics of certain weapons in the future. I just shoved the picture in and called it a day, i was concentrating more on the functionality than aesthetic. And I agree with the different Pantheons, each one should feel different to others. The blog should explain more about the background.

    Royd: Writing projects for the Fateverse or other stuff outside of Beasts Lair?

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    Being extra and off-canon when doing Canon Extra Classes

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  2. #3602
    ジャック・狂信者 Anju Addams's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cursed by Fortuna View Post
    Yeah thankfully with FGO and pirates we are starting to get something like that now, Riding was always just one of those weird skills to me as more than half of the time it basically seems useless to whatever servant has it.
    I'm of the opposite opinion. Rather than wasting two skill slots on a Rider to note 'this person can ride a plane' and 'this person can ride others things too I guess', the Riding skill should have just been made more flexible in noting that this person has it for boats, planes etc. in the first place. I kinda agree with Saber's getting something different that Riding though but not sure what.

    I still get annoyed that Lancers have Magic Resistance and nothing else too.
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  3. #3603
    Maker of Poor Decisions and Massive Sheets TheTruthWhale's Avatar
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    When I say alternate skills, I mean you'd get Riding (Sailing) or even just Sailing, rather than "Riding," and they'd be mutations of/replace the basic Riding skill.

  4. #3604
    ジャック・狂信者 Anju Addams's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheTruthWhale View Post
    When I say alternate skills, I mean you'd get Riding (Sailing) or even just Sailing, rather than "Riding," and they'd be mutations of/replace the basic Riding skill.
    Yeah. That'd be fine.
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  5. #3605
    Maker of Poor Decisions and Massive Sheets TheTruthWhale's Avatar
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    I don't know what would be appropriate to give Lancers. Given they are supposed to represent the pikemen/halberdiers/other polearm users as a knight class, maybe something akin to, like, a Stance Change? Where they have a quick offensive stance, and a half-shafted defensive stance, and different users would have different proficiencies in each Stance. But that feels overly complicated, even for a Fate skill. Giving them Riding makes some sense, but then you run into people like Cu who have never ridden anything, and we're back to the same page we were with the Sabers.

  6. #3606
    Lost in Paradise RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DelRey View Post
    Royd: Writing projects for the Fateverse or other stuff outside of Beasts Lair?
    Original non-TM stuff.

  7. #3607
    ジャック・狂信者 Anju Addams's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheTruthWhale View Post
    I don't know what would be appropriate to give Lancers. Given they are supposed to represent the pikemen/halberdiers/other polearm users as a knight class, maybe something akin to, like, a Stance Change? Where they have a quick offensive stance, and a half-shafted defensive stance, and different users would have different proficiencies in each Stance. But that feels overly complicated, even for a Fate skill. Giving them Riding makes some sense, but then you run into people like Cu who have never ridden anything, and we're back to the same page we were with the Sabers.
    Lancer Servants tend to use hit/run tactics so if I had been creating Fate back then, I'd probably give them some Acrobatics skill or just convert Disengage into their Class Skill.

    This has the added effect of removing some of Cu's bloatedness as well.
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  8. #3608
    Maker of Poor Decisions and Massive Sheets TheTruthWhale's Avatar
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    True. Magic Resistance + Disengage/Acrobatics would be a good suite of abilities, although not exceptionally fitting for some Lancers. But you could make that and Riding potential class skills, rather than required, and everything sorts itself out nicely.

  9. #3609
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Kabalisto Koga's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anju Addams View Post
    Lancer Servants tend to use hit/run tactics so if I had been creating Fate back then, I'd probably give them some Acrobatics skill or just convert Disengage into their Class Skill.

    This has the added effect of removing some of Cu's bloatedness as well.
    one cautious Questio here but what should after your opinion be the Content of a Acrobatic skill ?Anju ?
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  10. #3610
    ジャック・狂信者 Anju Addams's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kabalisto Koga View Post
    one cautious Questio here but what should after your opinion be the Content of a Acrobatic skill ?Anju ?
    I've already used it for a Mario Sheet where he can make impossible jumps over any obstacle or hazardous terrain but you can be flexible with it [literally] and use it for gymnastic maneuvers etc. Think of it like a renamed Crossing Arcadia with a few extras so not only Atalanta uses it.
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  11. #3611
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Kabalisto Koga's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anju Addams View Post
    I've already used it for a Mario Sheet where he can make impossible jumps over any obstacle or hazardous terrain but you can be flexible with it [literally] and use it for gymnastic maneuvers etc. Think of it like a renamed Crossing Arcadia with a few extras so not only Atalanta uses it.
    okay sounding good though ist remember me on a skill that Royd has thought out for one of his servants (namely this servant here).
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  12. #3612
    Foreigner Sheetematic Universe! DelRey's Avatar
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    Top Level Creator Notes
    Like last sheet, spoiler warning for Canaan. I will continue to consider the Canaan Anime legitimate to become a Servant here instead of Modern Fiction.
    Finally, the third of the triad





    "I did not choose any of this. I just followed the path that I was set upon.
    Moreso, I tread it faster than he expected,
    I tread it better than he expected
    and on this path flowers of death bloomed.
    He carved that path for me. I was faster than he could create it for me and one day he was in my way.
    There was nothing else I could do, nothing else I did know, than to walk this path to the bitter end, because it was for him, even if it was…him.
    I killed my Light.
    But stepping over the body of my Light revealed it.
    Darkness
    and no Path left to follow.
    I fell. What was left for me to do? Left for me to follow?
    I cut my own path…



    by slithering across the darkness like the Evil Serpent I am.

    Lancer that pierces the Sun



    Class
    Lancer
    Alternative Classes
    Avenger?
    True Name
    Alphard Alshua
    Aliases
    Chaos Serpent
    Origin
    Middle East, Egyptian Mythology, ( Canaan Anime )
    Height/Weight
    170cm/51kg
    Alignment
    Neutral Evil
    Attribute
    Heaven


    STR END AGI MANA LCK
    B B B B D

    Likes
    Chaos
    Dislikes
    Canaan, Siam, boring people
    Talent
    combat, terrorism
    Natural Enemy
    Canaan, Siam, Egyptian Pantheon
    Armament
    FN Five-seveN USG, daggers
    Catalyst
    Counter Summon to Her




    Class Skills

    Dark Divine Core of the Snake Goddess B
    The Divine Core of Wadjet, later known as Apep or Apophis. The rank is lowered due to be being summoned as a Pseudo-Servant. Were she to evolve into her true form, the rank would rise.

    "I became stronger, just as he wished for.
    I conquered my past, just as he wished for.
    I fed on hatred. I kept on climbing up.
    I'm a snake that dances in the sky."


    Magic Resistance B
    Cancel spells with a chant below three verses. Even if targeted by High-Thaumaturgy and Greater Rituals, it is difficult for them to be affected

    Self-Replenishment (Chaos) A+
    A special variation of the Avenger Class skill. One's Magical Energy endlessly surges until their revenge is accomplished. Recovers a minuscule amount of magical energy every turn.
    The quantity of her mana recovery is of a higher grade due to her link the Darkness of Nun, the primordial source of Creation.
    Furthermore Lancer is able to use her emotions as fuel to strenghten her.

    "I have made the past my own. With vengeance as my fuel i can fly anywhere like a snake which soars across the sky."

    Territory Defense (sealed)
    A Class Skill of the Shielder class. A power manifested to protect allies and ally territory. The higher the rank is, the larger the defensive area increases.
    Remnants of the role the Divine Spirit once had. Once she was tasked with protecting the Throne and Crown, she upheld her vow in the wrong way and was punished for it. The same role was contorted and she now has a focused mission of protecting the 'Throne' from the 'Unworthy King'. But that does not validate her for this skill anymore.

    "Let me tell you this. You're not the one who I want to kill. I'll kill the despair... I'll shoot through Siam's ghost!"

    Avenger & Oblivion Correction (sealed)
    While The Divine spirit inside Lancer is a creation of Chaos and Hate, living for revenge against the gods for their betrayal, this Servant has sealed those abilities and takes the form of Lancer. The vessel once felt hate and anger too, but she conquered it, made it her own and uses it to propel her forward. She seals those emotions, her own and through sheer will and determination somehow those of the Snake as well. Instead of becoming the Class consumed by and living for revenge, she decided to become the 'Spear that shatters the Shield of the Throne', 'The Lance that attempts to pierce the Sun'.

    "I'm born from hatred. Yet I've also tamed it. And then, I laugh. That's all I am.
    I slither on the ground. I am a snake that squirms across the ground, abhorred by all."





    Personal Skills

    Eye of Ra (Tainted) A
    A skill denoting the user as an 'Eye of Ra'. The Divine Spirit inside Lancer was the first Eye to hold that title, in fact she was the 'Eye of Ra' before Ra existed and was still known as Atum. As a pure part of the Surpreme God that would become the embodiment of the Sun and her falling from grace into the hands of Chaos, would create a new kind of twisted power. The 'unseen flames of the sun' and the 'chaotic waters of darkness' merged into an ability that allows her to generate dark toxic fumes to poison enemies. Due to the history of the vessel, she could refine those fumes to a special kind of virus, that could kill the victims within 12 hours. Servants are exempt from it, but prolonged exposure to those fumes will lower the END parameter.

    Familiars (Hebi) A
    A composite skill of Familiars(Snake) and Evil Charisma of the same rank.
    Allows Lancer the control of Snakes and if she uses more Mana, can create snakes of Phantasmal nature.
    In the myth of Ra's journey through the underworld, the bargue has to fight several serpent beasts before encountering Lancer. These were her familiars and creations.
    As an added bonus, due to the Vessel of Lancer, it is possible to recruit humans to join her terrorist organization 'Hebi'. This worldwide operating organization was able to ploy against the United Nations and almost succeeded in creating a situation that could spiral down to a new World War. Like the Divine Spirit inside her was named 'The World Encircler', so did she with her own kind of 'Snake'.
    She can control up to two Phantasmal Snake Beasts at a time and the amount of snakes she can control with mere thoughts alone seems rather large, only limited by the supply the lands she is summoned in provides. The Phantasmals are strong enough hold their own against weaker modern heroes.

    Frozen Emotion EX (B-)
    A skill which involves freezing one's emotions.
    Creating a heart made out of ice. Lancer's vessel was a woman born from the loins of war and knew nothing besides violence, with hate and vengeance as her weapon. Fighting for vengeance is like fighting mud, the more you struggle, the deeper you sink. But she managed to conquer those emotions and swallowed them like a serpent. At the cost of experiencing normal human emotions she can instead utilize them as a weapon and fuel during combat. The usually cool headed and apathetic leader would show sadistic tendencies when encountering her. Everything that does not concern her is irrelevant. That is why the rank is EX, because her cold heart could even freeze the hateful wildfire in the heart of the most feared serpent in the Egyptian World. But if Lancer would meet her again, the rank would lower significantly and could drop further depending on the situation both are in. Then her buried emotions resurface and would enter a state in which she counts as Avenger Class.




    Noble Phantasm

    Gaze of the Chaos Crawler
    Serpent Eyes of Divine Intimidation


    A form of ability that can neither be described as Mystic or Pure Eyes, but can still rival them in power. An ability formed through the users own appearance, emotions, deeds and reputation. In mythology it is said that 'the evil eyes of Apep' were able to stun all the gods on the sun bargue, all but the god of storm Seth.
    This Noble Phantasm manifests passively in form of pure black eyes that are windows into the Nun, the Primordial Chaos. Similar to staring into a foreign abyss this ability will stun or severely intimidate the opponent.
    With this NP Lancer passively emits a decent Mental Pressure, that gets stronger the higher the Divinity Rank of the enemy is. Servants without Divinity still experience a certain amount of Pressure, but Lancer is often not interested in 'small fry' and ignores them or does not take them serious.
    The True Name Release actively simulates the God Slayer Skill at rank B, even higher against most Egyptian gods. Lancer does this by gaining effectiveness against Servants with the Divinity skill, but not by increasing her own parameters against Divine Spirits, but by emanating a powerful intimidating aura towards the Divine. During Apep's life as Wadjet she has killed many divine spirit beasts that were born in the dangerous desert sands and during her fall from grace many other gods and thereafter in the daily fights on the sun bargue. She is confident to kill any god that is not adept in martial combat and those Divine Spirits can feel it. That is why Seth was one of the few able to withstand that gaze. Divine Spirits associated with War, Storm, Combat, Chaos, etc. or are of the standing of 'Kings of a Pantheon' can negate it. Heroic Spirits with Divinity skill need a Mental Fortification skill of high rank to withstand the intimidation. Because it is neither a true Mystic Eye or affecting the senses, it strikes a sweet spot against skills and Noble Phantasms that grant the user immunity to Mystic Eyes or effects against the senses.
    The Mana cost of this ability is high as it forces this ability unto the vessel, that is a normal human woman, even beautiful in appearance.

    Wadjet Rampage
    Cleansing of the unfaithful World, Slaughter until the last Heathen dies


    One of the most prominent themes of Egyptian Mythology is the rampage of the Eye of Ra. When humanity started disrespecting the King Atum, Wadjet became angered and descended on her own will down to the Earth and slaughtered every human she came across. She deemed every mortal a threat to the authority of the throne and therefore she as the protector of it had to dispose of them without mercy. Neither men nor god could stand up against this rampaging goddess. To end the mass murder, they concocted a potion of beer, pomegrenade and magic and filled whole fields with it. The sea looked like blood and the frenzied Eye drank all of it. The potion tranquilized her for three days. The aftermath were countless piles of bodies across Egypt, if not for this ploy, she would have eradicated the whole population.
    This story becomes her Noble Phantasm. Lancer temporarily lowers her Frozen Emotion skill and allows the Divine Spirit inside her to let loose and murder to her hearts content. All her physical parameter receive "plus" modifiers and she deals effective damage against all humans. It appears as if she lost all control, like the myth suggests, but Lancer willingly lets it happen and observes, she can end it whenever she deems it necessary. But in that state she loses ranks in her Magic Resistance and receives a weakness against potions. In that situation the sealed Avenger Skills are unlocked momentarily at rank B. Would Lancer encounter the Nemesis of Wadjet, even her control over her emotions would have a harder time withstanding the sheer power of the monster inside her. Ending the Noble Phantasm in this situation is harder to do.
    Because it is a constant state of mind the Divine Spirit is in and Lancer basically just pulls the trigger, the activation cost is very low and she can switch between crazed beast and cold, rational woman in quick succession. Being in the form still has a high rate of Mana consumption and depending on the encounter, deactivating it takes a toll as well. Because the Divine Spirit often does not act according to her plan or goals, she thinks it is more of a hassle to activate it. Even without the mad way of fighting under the influence of the Chaos Snake, Lancer is a formidable combatant in her own right, described as the Peak of (Modern) Human Abilities. Her becoming a Servant increased her potential manifold.




    Quotes and Relationships


    Cleopatra: "Huh, this snake, brings back memories. You are the last Pharaoh? I could blame you, but you succeeded in a way that I failed to do. Uraeus, obey her well.

    Nitocris: "Punishing those who disrespected the Throne and then not sitting upon it yourself. Yes, you rather die than defile it yourself. Good, woman, good choice.

    Ozymandias: "Ramesses II, you hail yourself as the incarnation of Ra? You even have that bargue... If you value your life "King", keep away from me. The one inside me wants to meet you."

    Kama (Stage 1): "There you are Cana...oh...you are not her. No, I have no interest talking to you, we are both just shadows left from the appearance of Beasts. The commonalities end there."

    Timur: You...you dared to use me for your stupid wish?




    Lore and Background
    Spoiler:

    The Vessel - Alphard

    Alphard Alshua comes from another World Line from the one on which Chaldea walks. She is the leader of a Terrorist Organisation called Hebi. She is the antagonist to Canaan in the eponymous Series of Canaan. They clash several times to prevent Alphard's attempt to unleash a deadly virus, the Ua Virus, upon the United Nations as an act of terrorism. Canaan and Alphard once had the same mentor, who trained them to become Assassins. Alphard was the first pupil of Siam and he named her Canaan. He described as the peak of human abilities, but she would be so much more powerful if she would fight for something herself. Several years later she killed her own mentor on a train under her new name 'Alphard'. His latest pupil, also named Canaan, had to watch it, helpless to prevent it. Afterwards she claims to have been followed by 'The Ghost of Siam' and comes to the conclusion that killing Canaan kills the Ghost of her former Mentor as well. She left Canaan alive several times, just to fight her at her peak. In their final encounter they fought again. The fight ended with Alphard losing and severing herself from the Ghost of Siam and apparently fell to her death.
    Alphard is beautiful young woman and adept at everything associated with the work of Assassination and leading a Terrorist Organization. She has a strong will, she is cold and efficient, but she has lost most of her human emotions to the point, that she is interested in witnessing the most extreme emotions of others as a substitute. Especially interested is she in the individuals who are prepared to die for something, be it love or friendship. Her emotions are so far gone, that she has no problem of attacking her subordinate who was passionate about serving her and watch her die by the hands of her underling, who was deeply in love with her. It was just "boring" for her. She only shows emotions when she fights Canaan, a sadistic side of her comes to light when she does. She will enjoy it to free herself from 'The Ghost of Siam' that she claims resides in Canaan.

    The Divine Sprit - Wadjet
    One of the first deities born after the creation of the world was Wadjet. She was created when one of the four Creator Deities of Egypt, Atum, removed his own Eye and send it on a search. The Eye was Wadjet and she fulfilled her task. But after returning to her creator, she saw that Atum already recovered a new Eye. The Eye was upset, Atum replaced her and she lost everything she is supposed to be. Atum appeased her and gave her a new role, the protection of the Throne and Rule and placed her on top of his brow. Atum became King among the gods and together they fought against the monsters born in the desert sands.
    Over the years Atum aged and the young human race started disrespecting the old King, unfit to rule anymore. Wadjet saw this as blasphemy and a threat to the Throne itself. She descended on her own accord and started slaughtering the mortals in a wild frenzy. In her blood lust she ignored the pleas of her Creator and the other gods. Because she was the mightiest fighter at that time, no one dared to approach her. Instead they put her to sleep with a magical potion. After three days she awoke to receive the message that the King will lay down his crown and retire. Wadjet, fearing she lost her purpose again, returns to her Creator, not acknowledging the sin she committed in the name of her father. Atum was upset at her and siphoned away much of her Divine Essence, removing her title, that would later become known as 'The Eye of Ra'. Atum then announces to the gods, that god Geb shall succeed him. Not accepting his choice, believing that only her Creator is worthy enough of being the king, waited in front of the Throne. When Geb arrived with his retinue, she slaughtered them all to fulfill her role. "Protect the Throne and Rule" and Geb was unworthy and therefore dangerous to the Throne itself.
    When she was ready to kill Geb, Atum protected him and took the lethal hit instead. Alarmed, all the other gods stormed the Throne Room and a fight erupted between Wadjet, who accidentally mortally wounded her Father, and the rest of the gods under the lead of the Divine Mother Goddess Neith. Wadjet lost and was kicked from heaven by Neith, after spitting on her.
    Meanwhile Atum was dying and regretted his incompetence of raising Wadjet and seeing her. He promised to make amends. He send out the Essence of Wadjet and empowered other goddesses with it, birthing several new 'Eyes of Ra'. His power will strengthen those who shall be worthy of becoming King after him, worthy of becoming the next 'one above', the next Horus, able 'to see'. When he finally died, his own Essence parted and saturated the Air and from his Corpse a being of pure Light ascended. The Ghost of Atum, left behind to continue the core function of Atum, 'to see the world'. That was the birth of Ra, the Sun God, who travels each day across the world, observing it.
    Meanwhile Wadjet was falling down to Earth. She was now a mere empty vessel. Devoid of Divine Essence, devoid of a name and purpose, again stolen by her father, who died preventing her to do the divine role as protector of the throne. This emptiness was filled by the only thing that was bestowed upon her. The Spit of Neith. Neith, like the other Creator Gods, embodies aspects of the Primordial Origin and she was the aspect of Darkness, Chaos. Chaos filled what Order left void. Like the mud of a Mother Goddess, banished from this plain of existence, the link to the Primordial Darkness tainted her body, strength and purpose. Her determination to follow her role is strengthened, she is to protect the Throne of the Gods and none are worthy to reside upon it. To protect the Throne from unworthiness, she must kill all who dare defile it and her target is now the Being of Light that ascended and took the Throne with it - Ra. That is the birth of the Chaos Serpent. Apep was born, or how we call it, Apophis.
    Apophis will not stop until all who defile the Throne are punished. She was summoned after her and she will enjoy it to free the world from 'The Ghost of Atum' after disposing of Canaan, who acts as his protector now.

    This is just a shorter version of what I have created of the background story of the Ancient Egyptian Pantheon. For more details of it i recommend reading the Blog I made for these two sheets and probably more to come.

    The Birth of the Servant

    After Canaan accepted to help the Egyptian Gods, the gods fulfilled their deal and brought the people close to her over to this world. Among them was Alphard too. When Canaan became a Servant with Wadjet's Counterpart Nekhbet and Watcher Ra was summoned to raise her to become a full Pseudo-Servant, that triggered the Birth of Apophis. In mythology it is said that Apep was born as a consequence of Ra, sometimes said to be born out of Ra's umbilical cord. A fitting vessel was needed and Apep chose the Nemesis of Nekhbet's vessel Alphard. Like in the Egyptian belief, granting new persons the name of gods, makes them destined to relive the events of legends. A birth of a new light necessitates the birth of a new darkness. A darkness that seeks to destroy the sun necessitates the action of the ones tasked with protecting it.

    The Core connection between Alphard=Wadjet and Canaan=Nekhbet is that Nekhbet and Wadjet are a pair of goddesses that are mostly depicted together, both represent Upper and Lower Egypt respectively and are named 'The Two Ladies', while Nekhbet is 'The White' (White Crown = White Hair) and the more protective and less aggressive of the two; and Wadjet being the more aggressive one, adorning the Red Crown, similar to her bloody past. While Nekhbet is barely mentioned without her, Wadjet is the representation of the Eye of Ra or Horus, both were often equated for each other. The worship of Wadjet, one of the several 'Eye of Ra', predates all others as it started in the Predynastic times. Nekhbet came later and is associated with both being an Eye of Ra, but also being strongly associated with the Eye of Horus. In essence, both have the same name, but Wadjet discarded it after killing Atum, similar to how Alphard changed her name and killed her mentor. In my interpretation of the story, both were born from the Eyes of the Kings, Wadjet from Atum/Ra and Nekhbet, unrecorded fully by myths, from the Eye of Horus. Both could not return to their former place, as they were replaced by new Eyes. One might say Canaan is the replacement of Alphard and Nekhbet is with few steps the Eye that replaced Wadjet. After killing their respective Master, both, Wadjet and Alphard, carried a heavy burden and dealt with it in their own way, but both tried to erase the 'ghosts' of them.

    Regarding the connection of all three Servants: Timur summoned and represents the Evil Eye as a concept -> as a reaction the Counter Force summons what counters the Evil Eye - The Good Eye = Eye of Horus, said to be born as a reaction to it -> choosing Canaan and Nekhbet necessitated the summoning of Wadjet in the form of Alphard to reenact mythology, because the Evil Eye of Apophis is the Egyptian equivalent -> Timur's goal is to meet Genghis Khan, a supposed Grand Servant and he can only be summoned to fight a Beast. Wadjet's transformation into the real Apophis could warrant the summoning of a Grand, so he plans to use Alphard and Canaan to create such a situation.

    A triad that counters each other with their abilities and concepts. When they fight I imagine that Timur actually is killed first, because he used his Evil Eye to attempt to take over the Eye of Horus, but can not handle what he sees, as he does not have Synesthesia, so Alphard can observe his pitiful demise with her lines from the anime:

    "Sound will start hacking away the body,
    while colors eat away the pores
    and fragrances hollow out your eye balls."





    Craft Essence

    The Ghost of...

    "My
    Creator
    Mentor
    was weak and I was too blind when I
    served
    studied
    under him.
    Atum
    Siam
    made me who I am, he build me and I did what he
    ordered
    taught
    me to do.
    I was good at it, better than anybody else and soon I surpassed him.
    Too late did I realize his weakness. He always said
    "Nothing good is born out of
    Chaos
    hatred
    . Those who fight for
    Chaos
    hatred
    are failures."
    Old fool, I guess a failure like me killed him in the end. What does it imply about him then? Hypocrite.
    He was fated to die the moment he said that.
    I thought I could end this part of my existence, but then the Ghost of
    Atum
    Siam
    lived on.
    All that was left for me to do was to kill her,
    my replacement, the one who took my name of
    Wadjet
    Canaan
    .
    Atum
    Siam
    lives on in her as his Will,
    I will
    pierce
    shoot
    through her and kill the Spirit of the Past behind her!"




    Editors Notes:
    The last of the Trio! My inspiration came from her faceclaim alone. I saw it and thought that I HAVE to make her a snake goddess somehow. After rewatching Canaan in a day and formulating the rough groundwork for my Egyptian Pantheon, it came in easy to connect her to THE snake. At first when I researched the Eye of Horus, I thought Wadjet would be in Canaan, due to the name being used as EoH, but her being an EoR too and her age IRL in terms of worship predates the other common candidates of the Eye of Ra (Bastet, Sekhmet, Hathor) I thought that there could be done more. Together with the concept of 'Titles' I have for this Pantheon, it came to the result here. Equating Eye of Ra with Canaan led to quite a few problems to find the fitting Spirit for Canaan tho. It came full circle in the end. My first candidate was Nekhbet, but then I wished to make sure, I contemplated making her a Servant with Hathor (both witnessing the Death and being partially responsible) or even Bastet (Imagined as Bastet being born as the second eye of Atum or being born after Atum took Wadjets Essence and making her NP become Sekhmet. But that was done up and down, with Hathor too and I was against the common interpretation of Bastet or Hathor become Sehkmet). Even had the idea to let it be vague who her goddess is, just an imposed Divinity under the concept of granting her the name and therefore repeating the Mythology and stuff. When I researched Nekhbet again I thought she is cool enough for Canaan, she had white in her description, had association with Wadjet and both concept of the Eyes on her own and due to her connection and her symbols worked perfectly on a conceptual level for this Triad.
    Of the Three I like her personal Background the most. Being able to draw parallels between two separate ideas I had and it working quite well imo . Shielder has the coolest NP's and Foreigner allowed me to connect them in the first place, because he opened the flood gates for my 'Evil Eye' research that led to Egypt.

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  13. #3613
    ジャック・狂信者 Anju Addams's Avatar
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    So if Canaan counts as Nasuverse in this thread, would Zvezda count too? Huh, better get started on that Kate Sheet..
    Last edited by Anju Addams; May 17th, 2021 at 06:20 PM.
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    Foreigner Sheetematic Universe! DelRey's Avatar
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    my google says only Takeuchi worked on that, so doesnt count as 'Nasuverse' Kappa

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    ジャック・狂信者 Anju Addams's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DelRey View Post
    my google says only Takeuchi worked on that, so doesnt count as 'Nasuverse' Kappa
    It was also cowritten by Meteo from Hollow/Atraxia and Requiem. Twas a joke anyways.
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    Maker of Poor Decisions and Massive Sheets TheTruthWhale's Avatar
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    Isn't Wadjet a protector goddess? And the patron of lower Egypt? Why'd you mold her into Apophis of all things?

  17. #3617
    Foreigner Sheetematic Universe! DelRey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheTruthWhale View Post
    Isn't Wadjet a protector goddess? And the patron of lower Egypt? Why'd you mold her into Apophis of all things?
    Because it actually fits. See, the snake in Egypt has a special standing. Snakes were feared, rightfully so, they kill animals and people alike. Ancient Egyptian medics knew a lot about the few dozen types of snakes that slithered through egypt and which were lethal etc. But they were also valued, because they devoured the mice that would harm the crops. There are actually not many Snake Deities in Egypt I am aware of: Apophis, Wadjet and Nekhbet, Mehen and Denwen (I used in Nekhbets NP) and Nehebkau, who seems to come rather late into play.
    Wadjet is the oldest deity in terms of worship when it comes to the famous 'Eyes of Ra', a common title for female deities.
    But surprisingly Ra isnt an old old deity, he appeared in the Middle Kingdom, that means Wadjet was meaty 1000years older than Ra. Then I looked into it, Ra absorbed Atum and he became the human aspect of Ra in his early journey as the sun. In some versions of how the Eye came to be, it was Atum who removed his Eye to look for Shu and Tefnut. When the Eye came back with his children, he already had a new eye. Like in my story, the eye was upset and to appease the eye and thank her, he put her on his brow. That is the birth of the Uraeus Snake, the beast that protects the Crown. In one story Uraeus severely wounded god Geb and his retinue as well, after Geb has sinned in some way, making him not worthy to be the next King in line.
    When came Apophis into play then? Well actually only together with Ra. The birth of Apophis has two variations: First is that when Ra was born (by Neith I believe), the umbilical cord of Ra became Apophis OR Neith spit into the Primordial Chaos from whence she came from and that birthed Apophis (the reason why I had to insert the spitting part). It is described that Apophis was born as a consequence of Ra's birth, so I inserted that.
    Also a factor was that line from wikipedia "This suggests that evil in Egyptian theology is the consequence of an individual's own struggles against non-existence." regarding Apep, the non-existence is the struggle Wadjet has gone through as being without purpose and name, both important aspects of the soul for gods and humans alike.
    From all these points, Wadjet being a very old and rare snake deity, her name being a synonym of the Eye of Ra or Horus (wrongly conflated in later times)/her being the personification of it, the story of the birth of Uraeus/ Eye of Ra, the slaying of Geb, the story about the rampaging Eye, the absorption of Atum into Ra and the Birth of Apophis as consequence of Ra, it all led into the story I presented.

    Edit: I forgot the snake created by Isis. In one myth that explains how Horus became the next king, Isis fashioned a snake from sand and something from Ra, sweat or spit perhaps, i dont remember. That snake went on and bit Ra. The sun was in pain and all the gods were wondering how something can harm him, when actually nothing can. But because the snake is a part of him, it was able to hurt him. (Idea for that Ra is the 'Ghost' of Atum and only his creation Wadjet=Apophis can hurt him). Isis offered to heal im in exchange for his true name and that granted her enough power, to grant that name to Horus, so he became the next in line to rule. (other aspect that reinforced my idea that Horus is a Name/Title given to the King, together with the hieroglyphic name of Osiris).
    Last edited by DelRey; May 18th, 2021 at 07:15 AM.

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  18. #3618
    死徒 Dead Apostle NMR-3's Avatar
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    For what it's worth I've made a blog for my Servants so far. Also two magi and three collections of random ideas.
    The Adventure of the Velvet Room (Sherlock Holmes/Persona) (SB, FFN, AO3)

    Blog with all of my Servants so far.

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    ジャック・狂信者 Anju Addams's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NMR-3 View Post
    For what it's worth I've made a blog for my Servants so far. Also two magi and three collections of random ideas.
    On that note, just updated mine with the last two Servants I've made!
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  20. #3620
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Kabalisto Koga's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NMR-3 View Post
    For what it's worth I've made a blog for my Servants so far. Also two magi and three collections of random ideas.
    i tried to look at it but i got a Message > i have not the permission to Aces the page what should that mean please ?
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