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Thread: Create-A-Servant 3

  1. #3681
    ジャック・狂信者 Anju Addams's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    I could imagine a Harriet Tubman Servant that's actually an agglomeration of all the souls who traveled the Underground Railroad in pursuit of freedom. That could work and be past enough to not fall afoul of the controversy from writing incredibly modern figures as Servants. Heck I wrote one for her myself a while back though I'm honestly not that proud of it... (Nothing I find really wrong, just some parts weren't fleshed out as much as I'd like)
    Someone on SV did a pretty awesome Harriet sheet once IIRC. Might help with some inspiration. Let me just see if I can dig it up -

    Lupine Volt's Assassin
    Harriet Tubman: Stationmaster of the Underground Railroad
    Assassin
    Potential Classes: Assassin, Archer

    Nature
    An adult woman with dark skin and hair tied up with a headscarf, Assassin is quiet by nature. When not engaged, she prefers to go out and find a quiet place to simply watch people go by. Assassin takes issue with being called a servant, and will insist that her relationship with her master be an equal partnership. Assassin hates command seals with a passion. Should she be bent by one, or see another servant forced to do something against their will, Assassin will plot an escape. Should she be given respect, however, Assassin will treat her Master in kind.

    Legend
    Born a slave in America, Harriet Tubman's family and friends were sold and traded like livestock. Even from as young as five years old, Tubman showed remarkable cleverness and grit. Even so, she bore many scars and suffered many indignities at the hands of those who "owned" her.

    This stubbornness resulted in the head wound that would give her seizures for the rest of her life. When asked to help restrain an escaped slave, Tubman refused and was struck accidentally by a projectile meant for the fugitive. She recieved no medical care for this, and spent two days passing in and out of consciousness. During this time, she claimed to have recieved some form of divine insight from the seizures. This conviction was strengthened when, after a prayer to god to smite her owner, the man in question died a week later, to Tubman's horror.

    As his widow began preparing to sell her husband's slaves, Harriet made the decision to flee before her family could be forcibly torn apart. Alongside her two brothers, she fled. However, both of them lacked the conviction, and returned to the plantation, forcing Harriet to return with them. Her next attempt was made by herself, and she made her way north along the Underground Railroad, finally arriving in Pennsylvania.

    However, she did not stop there; Harriet turned south and dedicated her life to helping her family and others trapped in slavery to make their way north, to freedom. Traveling by night and following the Northern Stars, Tubman never lost a passenger on their journey to freedom. Countless other slaves were guided by her advice and managed to make their own ways north on their own.

    When the American Civil War came, Tubman became the first woman to hold command in the US. Armed Forces, and helped to lead the Raid on Combahee Ferry. Her actions there led to the freedom of over 700 enslaved people. She would spend the rest of the war assisting with scouting activities and as a medical worker. The government was reluctant to give her compensation for her many efforts, and her humanitarian work kept her in a near-constant state of poverty.

    However, with the assistance of others, she eventually made her way into a comfortable living, and spent the rest of her days as a campaigner for the rights of women and african americans. At the age of 93, Harriet Tubman died, surrounded by her friends and family. Her parting words were "I go to prepare a place for you" before expiring of pneumonia.

    Stats
    Strength: E
    Endurance: D
    Agility: B
    Mana: D
    Luck: A
    Noble Phantasm: D

    Class Skills

    Presence Concealment: A
    It is possible to disappear completely and become almost impossible to be detected. However, efficiency will decrease once preparations to attack are taken.

    Personal Skills

    Seizures: B
    Overly expending mana or head injuries may cause Assassin to have a violent seizure followed by a narcoleptic fit. The length of this incapacitation may last anywhere between minutes and hours. Usage of a command seal, however, will instantly awaken her. However, while in these states, Assassin gains access to the Revelations skill

    Revelations: C
    Believed to be divine guidance, Assassin may receive pieces of insight that border on precognition. However, it is difficult to explain these concepts to others, and receiving them requires Assassin to be incapacitated, raising the skepticism she faces.

    Charisma: C-
    Fit for a commander of forces, Assassin is capable of coordinating and directing allies in battle.

    Noble Phantasm

    The Drinking Gourd-Thirteen journeys in starlight
    Rank: D
    Type: Anti Unit (Self)
    An old and hollowed gourd used as a drinking vessel, one can always see the reflection of the first star of the night sky in the liquid. Assassin can share her presence concealment with those who drink from the gourd, though the power will fade if any of the drinkers are detected.

    Conductor's Light-Beacon of the Unseen Track
    Rank: D
    Type: Anti Unit
    An oil lamp that hangs from Assassin’s belt, the shadows cast by the flame can move independently of their owners and become temporary familiars of Assassin. They last only as long as the flame burns, and dissipate at the slightest touch. They make for an excellent diversion, and nothing more.
    Ah! There we go.
    Last edited by Anju Addams; May 21st, 2021 at 04:36 PM.
    Pronouns - She/Her
    Winner of the Legendary Jack-Off

    Top Five Favourite Servants


  2. #3682
    Lost in Paradise RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Pretty sure I read that one a while back. Was good.

  3. #3683
    You Are Going to Brazil Wyvern's Avatar
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    Lover of Connacht
    ‘I love you. I love you for your bravery, I love you for your strength, I love you for your wisdom and the gifts you bring. I love you from the bottom of my heart. And I know you will love me. For me, you will become brave, strong and wise. You will do it because you love me. Oh how I long to meet you… I want to see your face… hear your voice. No matter who you are, if you are a Hero, then Finnabair loves you.’



    True Name
    Allignment
    Class
    Alternative Classes
    Finnabair
    Neutral Good
    Lover
    Assassin / Caster


    Height
    1.58m
    Weight
    Unknown
    Region
    Ireland
    Source
    Celtic Mythology
    Likes
    Heroes, Romance.
    Dislikes
    Her parents.


    Parameters
    STR
    END
    AGI
    MAG
    LCK
    NP
    E
    E
    D
    A
    E
    A


    Background
    The sole daughter of Queen Medb and King Aillil.

    A woman known to history as a vessel for the affection of heroes, a lure which was used to pit the mightiest against the Child of Light by her mother. Born from a whim rather than any form of scheming, Finnabair was every bit her mother’s inferior despite inheriting her beauty.

    In all aspects but one.

    Finnabair was a vessel of love.

    An existence which captured the affections of the brave and the strong and reflected them as a strong passion felt by the girl. Not a preference like in her mother’s case, it could be said that Finnabair was cursed to love with all her heart, and to be loved by others just as strongly.

    Her parents.

    Her brothers.

    The mighty heroes of Connacht.

    Finnabair was loved and loved easily in turn, drawing the eye of many warriors and kings who would demand the young woman’s hand from her parents as a reward for their loyalty. She was innocent and naive, uninterested in the arts of war and ruling, devoting all of herself to the feelings which burnt brightly within her.

    Until one day she asked her parents.

    'Allow none but a Hero to ask for my hand.'

    Finnabair loved heroes. Loved the stories and songs which heralded feats of might and courage. Loved them as much as she loved life itself. A love which bordered on obsession.

    She was uninterested in ruling, or politics.

    She wanted for nothing.

    She only craved for a brave hero to dedicate herself to. Someone who exemplified the stories Finnabair admired. Something used by her parents to manipulate their daughter and use her as a bribe over and over again.

    Yet she did not mind it.

    Not at all. Her heart was overcome with a blazing love for all who displayed before her the qualities of a hero. Their might, skill, wisdom and wealth ignited a flame within her which she chased with the innocence of a pure maiden in love.

    Her love was true and all consuming.

    But her innocence was her failing.

    After all, the heroes came for her hand and consumed her heart with emotion died. One by one they marched against the Hound of Chulainn, and one by one they were slain in battle by the mighty warrior.

    Fraech.

    Nadcrantail.

    Ferdiad.

    Rochad.

    Finnabair loved them all. It was her nature to love and be loved. Not even Cu Chulainn refused her, though their match ended in disaster when Aillil refused to meet him and sent a disguised jester instead. Something even her mother was incapable of doing.

    It was only when the woman’s machinations were uncovered that Finnabair finally understood what had been done. What her pure love had been used to accomplish. A massacre where the brave warriors she so lover killed each other, all driven by their love for her.

    For the first time in her life, Finnabair was angry.

    She was ashamed.

    An emotion she was overcome by just as surely as she’d been by love and adoration. The deaths of hundreds weighing on her shoulders. She felt as if she herself had killed them. Every brave hero she so adored… dead because they loved her.

    It was a shock.

    A shock which killed her.

    For Finnabair’s love was a strong curse. She fell in love easily and wholeheartedly. But that did not mean she was fickle or heartless. She remembered every face and every name of every hero she had fallen for. And the realization that all those brave warriors were dead as if by her own hand…

    It killed her.

    For Finnabair loved heroes as if they were life itself.


    Personality

    Finnabair is a maiden in love. One who seeks romance and excitement in her life and chases it with all the stubbornness of a bull, overcome by the idea of meeting a real hero and being loved by a hero. Anyone who displays qualities he deems heroic or admirable can be considered as ‘Finnabair’s Beloved.’

    That is not to say she is foolish.

    Finnabair knows she is narrow minded and selfish. She understands that her overwhelming obsession and search for a heroic love aren’t natural. But she lives her life with no regard for its dangers, gallantly striding forth in search of her next great romance.

    A ‘Maiden’s Romance’ as she refers to it.

    Devoted to loving a single Hero, Finnabair resents the circumstances which lead to the deaths of her past lovers, though she pins most of the blame on her parents, she won’t shy away from admitting that her reckless passion and love also played a part in the tragedy.

    She is, nonetheless, resolved to seek a proper Romance as a Servant.

    No schemes, no manipulations. What she seeks is an epic where she may find a hero worthy of love and bring them strength through her unwavering support. Willing to brave the battlefield with brimming confidence and a blazing passion within her heart as she seeks a new Hero to love.

    That is a Maiden’s Romance.

    If her Master were to possess the qualities to be a ‘hero’, Finnabair will devote herself to helping them achieve that potential. Be it by taking them on ‘adventurers’ or throwing both herself or her ‘beloved’ into dangerous circumstances so that they prove themselves as a Hero.

    And yes, the irony goes completely over her head.



    Class Skills


    Lover


    C
    Though Findabair loved many, she never loved any one person strongly enough. Her hand and love were promised and she fell in love just as easily, though her feelings are genuine, she cannot help but love those who display heroic traits.



    Beloved



    A+
    Findabair was beloved by many heroes who fought for her hand. To the point even the best friend and foster brother of her mother’s enemy became infatuated with her and took up the task of slaying his beloved friend. At this level, Findabair’s love is more akin to a strong mental compulsion or curse which instills a potent longing within others attracted to her.


    Personal Skills
    Golden Rule (Body)

    B
    A rank lower than her mother’s skill. Finnabair has a perfect goddess-like figure, though she cannot compare to her mother and doesn’t like being reminded of that.

    Hero’s Bridesmaid


    D
    The yearning to stand besides a heroic figure and be loved by them. Emulating the nature of a Valkyrie who leads a hero to victory. It synchronizes Finnabair’s mana with that of her lover, making it so they are always aware of each other’s movements.


    Maiden’s Core


    A
    A variation of the Self Replenishment skill normally reserved for the Avenger Class. Finnabair, through this skill is able to replenish her own mana through the ‘power of love’, in her own words. She refuses to reveal specifics, citing them as a 'Maiden's Secret'.

    Heroic Nightingale


    B
    A natural constitution of having a beautiful voice. It works as a magical charm effect towards heroes, but evasion is possible with the Magic Resistance Skill. As a Lover, this skill allows for the manifestation of magic damage through singing.


    Noble Phantasms
    Anti-Unit
    Finnabair Sléibe: A Mountain of Corpses to My Name
    A

    Her love was poison.

    Her love was death.

    Her love enticed the brave and the strong to risk their lives in search of a reward, an ephemeral promise which may never become truth, and never did. No matter how many heroes were promised the love of Finnabair, none managed to defeat the Hound of Chulainn.

    Yet they still loved her.

    ‘Finnabair loves a Hero. And Heroes fall in love with Finnabair’.

    When she falls in love, he who captures her affections will receive the spoils of past warriors who fought and died for her love. These skills are lesser imitations of their true wielders, but become stronger the deeper the feelings shared between Finnabair and her lover.

    The longer her ‘hero candidate’ lasts, the more skills she may grant him. Though this Noble Phantasm comes at a price. The more Finnabair loves someone, the closer they become to death. Meaning that regardless of how powerful they become or how much support she gives them, Finnabair’s lover will die regardless.

    Such is the nature of Finnabair’s love.


    - Skills Granted through [Finnabar Sléibe] -

    Fraech’s Treasure
    The Dowry brought by Fraech to Finnabair’s parents, a truly exorbitant amount of riches such as spears, swords, horses, mantles and medicinal fruits. It’s rank increases once they have been passed on to Finnabair’s next romance.
    Nadcrantail’s Spear
    The wooden spears wielded by Nacrantail in his duel against Cu Chulainn. Nine Spears which grant the ability to be expertly thrown and can only be dodged if the target jumps over them. Amusingly, its functions will cease if the target doesn’t have a beard.
    Ferdiad’s Shield
    The armored skin of Ferdiad, a protective layer which could only be pierced by the Gae Bolg. As a skill, it has been downgraded but grants the user immunity to mundane weapons and high degree of Magical Resistance.

    Rochad’s Vow
    A mental compulsion placed upon the target through Finnabair’s Noble Phantasm. They gain the physical abilities of a mighty hero, but in exchange become susceptible to Finnabair’s whims and requests. Of course, the process can only start if the target chooses to take the Vow. From that point on, Finnabair’s parameters will all decrease as the target of her affections becomes empowered.

  4. #3684
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Kabalisto Koga's Avatar
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    Finnabeir :quite good Wyvern , she is quite good though i rather have her not as a Servant there would i prefer your first love servant what was she again that reminds me you still havent a servant index frrom your servants Wyvern ? trust me the more you make the more work you have to do this Wyvern ?
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  5. #3685
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Hawkeye's Avatar
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    Class: Assassin
    Alignment: Lawful Evil
    Region: Iran
    Likes: Tea, chess, talking with locals
    Dislikes: Knights who don't keep their word
    Talent: Making tea
    Armaments: Knives
    Natural Enemy: Tristan

    Stats

    Str: C
    End: D
    Agi: B
    Mna: C
    Lck: D
    NP: B

    Skills


    Class Skills

    Presence Concealment (A): Hides presence, effect is cancelled if the user prepares to attack. Assassin often uses this skill to blend into harsh environments, becoming one with the wind and rain to conceal her form.

    Personal Skills

    Self-Modification (EX): Used to remodel the body, the higher the level, the further one is from being a proper heroic spirit. At this level, Assassin is considered more of a 'container for mystery' than a legendary figure in her own right.

    Protection from Wind (B): A skill possessed by the nomadic peoples who made the deserts their home, it is a form of mystic defense that guards against the lashing winds and vicious sandstorms that are a regular feature of their homeland. Used to bolster the influence of her phantasm, this skill allows Assassin to transform an area into her personal killing field, becoming only a few steps shy of an alien world.

    Phantom Grudge (B+): A skill manifested only as a servant and not an ability possessed in life. Even amongst Hassan, Assassin possesses a weak spirit origin, being barely more than a wraith given human shape. Taking this as an advantage, Hassan can feed on the negativity and grudges of others, becoming more powerful. Should she absorb enough hatred, she will cease to be a heroic spirit and instead become a vengeful spirit closer in nature to a living curse that lashes out at all those around her.



    Noble Phantasm


    Zabaniya
    Unfeeling Patrolling Spirits


    Rank: Anti-Army, B

    Modelling herself after folk tales of Jinn being held by lamps, Assassin has turned her body into a lamp that houses Jinnīya. Her body produces multiple spouts along her ribs that spew mist. From this vapourous expulsion, Assassin forms it into Jinnīya who hunt and kill on her behalf. Unlike the unnamed assassin who duplicated her technique, Assassin can choose the forms of her familiars, suiting their shapes to the type of battle, using giants to overwhelm fortresses, beasts to run down enemies and beautiful women to entice and eliminate targets in secret.

    By using the beautiful and seductive Jinnīya to her advantage to lure targets to their deaths, Assassin gained her epithet and with it the title of Old Man of the Mountain. The versatility and destructive power of these phantom beasts allowed her to become a one woman army, second only to the Hundred Faces amongst the Hassan when manifested as a servant.


    Background

    The Hassan of Intoxicating Smoke lived in an age of thinning mystery. Wishing to recapture the fear and power of her predecessors, she decided to try and recreate the dangerous spirits of the desert that her ancestors feared. As one of the heads of the Hashashin, she feels she did not accomplish anything of particular note during her tenure as the leader, but became known as a master of assassination even amongst her peers. Using the Jinnīya in the form of beautiful maidens, she would enthrall targets, drawing them to their doom by apparent misfortune while leaving nothing but the sweet smelling vapour behind. This ability encapsulating the nature of assassins as hidden killers would help to cement their name and thus their class in the annals of history.


    Personality/Relationships

    Personality

    The Hassan of Intoxicated Smoke is an honourable fighter, never targetting innocents if she can help it, but this sense of self-rightousness can lead her to act rashly and in anger should she feel her sense of honour has been slighted. She had a poor experience with a red haired knight during one summoning and has something of a grudge against knights and archers ever since.

    Relationships

    King Hassan - As with most of the Old men of the Mountain, Assassin greatly admires their ancestor, but also fears him. His tendency to appear before Hassan who have not lived up to their name prompting her to work harder than ever, lest she hear the evening bell toll.

    Cursed Arm - A somewhat older member of the leaders from a time before herself, Assassin respects Cursed Arm, but finds him a bit stuffy and outdated, and while his Zabaniya is impressive, she can't help but compare it unfavourably to her own, giving the two a dynamic akin to an embarassed younger sibling and their diligent elder sibling.

    Hundred Faces - While in life, Assassin would have little to comment on the Nineteenth leader of the Hashashin, as servants, she feels bitterly jealous that Hundred Faces gained the ability to multiply beyond a scale that can be matched by her own Noble Phantasm. This can lead her to at times lose her cool and claim Hundred Faces is merely copying her style.

    Serenity - As a fellow Hassan who looked to folklore for inspiration, Assassin feels a certain kinship with Serenity, but is acutely aware that between the two, Serenity achieved a level of lethality unparalleled by most of their ilk. This creates a boundary between the two similar to estranged siblings trying to get along.

    Tristan - Assassin is aware that the Tristan she fought against was merely one version of the knight in the same way that she was merely one version of herself at the time, but the memory lingers in her spirit origin, causing a intense hatred to well up from within whenever she encounters him.


    Author notes

    Just a note that I couldn't work into the sheet to explain my sorta thinking on it.

    - The faceclaim. I generally have trouble trying to find good faceclaims for Hassan cause it basically always leads to some Grim Reaper picture and doesn't necessarily fit what I'm going for. Having said that, the one I picked here is pure meme cause it's a Rule 63 of Wamuu from JJBA and I picked it cause the physical mutation of the character inspired this design, though sorta the opposite direction.
    Last edited by Hawkeye; May 22nd, 2021 at 10:07 PM.
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  6. #3686
    Ominous Shadowy Spoiler Figure Cursed by Fortuna's Avatar
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    Okay I was going to do post this later along with the 3rd part of the reviews, but I feel I need to do this now while my thoughts are clear and fresh.

    Hassan of Intoxicating Smoke: So much potential, but sadly as it is I just can't say I feel much for this sheet, it's skin and bones. While I can get wanting to leave maybe the lore or background details vague either from not wanting to make a backstory or as an intentional choice to allude to the nature of the Hassans as being figures whose lives are myserteous and vague with us often knowing little about who they were exactly before they took the mask or what they did under the mask and even when they lived and such, that doesn't explain the rest of the sheet. If you wanted to maybe have her backstory be unclear and vague then perhaps some more lines alluding to how vague and unknown her backstory is, would help, but on the other hand that also means that correspondingly you probably are going to need to do even more legwork on the rest of the sheet to compensate for the lack of a backstory, such as with relationships, personality, personal skills, and the noble phantasm.

    But there's none of that here, 2 sentences on personality, 3 or 4 on skills, no relationships to feel the personality, and whole you do introduce the idea of her making her body like a literally lamp (or if you want to be more accurate to the original myths a ring) to contain Djinns or Jinnya, there isn't enough effort to take this idea to anything more that a budding shoot. Other major issues with the sheet include the fact that while a nice faceclaim it doesn't fit with the Hassans very well, no signature cloak or black garb and attire, no skull mask, nothing, it honestly took me off guard this was a Hassan (although you could have died this by adding a little blurb of text underneath the faceclaim that this is what she looks like outside her normal attire with a loose description for what that looks like) as it looks more like an Egyptian pharaoh than an assassin.


    Other problems I have with the sheet are the name itself, I know that sounds petty but hear me out. I can get wanting to assign one of the Zabaniyas we know to one of the Hassan's we know by their name/title, but the issue is we don't know the full roster of all the Hassans at maximum if we assign the 5 Zabaniyas without an identified original user to the 5 Hassans we don't know the NP ion, but have their name/title that still only adds up to 11 Hassans out of a known total of 19. The issue I have with this is that Unfeeling Patrolling Spirits doesn't "fit" with Hassan of the Intoxicated Smoke, this sounds vague but here's my logic, every single Hassan we have met or known has had a fairly solid string of logic correlating their Name/title to the Noble Phantasm and general abilities (something rather logical in that these titles were likely used to identify individual Hassans when they discarded their names and as such they would be likely be given titles associated with emac Hassan's capabilities).


    King Hassan / "Old Man of the Mountain" -> The 1st and greatest Hassan a title King emphasizes (and it may reference who his true identity may be as speculated in Singularity 7), also it's worth noting the structure of the later title I would say The "Old Man of the Mountain" may be more accurate than just "Old Man of the Mountain" as he was both the originator of the title Hassan and is the greatest Hassan who the other 19 via in a competition as phantoms to replace, plus when you consider his sword is named Azazel and that he may have been an angel based on some theories (particularly related to how he is alive after so long), that title does have some potential references to his name (plus if the theory that Meditative sensitivity was associated with him then the idea of an old man on the mountain is often associated with mediation or religious purposes to reach enlightenment or strengthen one's faith).

    Hassan of Serenity -> Serenity in Hindu (the main language of India where the legend of Visha Kanya who is directly mentioned and referenced as the basis/inspiration of her abilities) translates to shaanti and the same word can mean a lot of things including peace, serenity, calm, calmness, silence, and stillness. Considering she kills people silently by touching or kissing them and that a dead body is both silent and still I think the meaning of her name in relation to her abilities is is fairly clear (as another layer Poison is and was an effective way of killing a person both very quietly and with minimal struggle as given before they sleep they would simply never wake up as if they died in their sleep, some poisons act every fast and others so slow it's hard to notice).

    Hassan of the Cursed Arm -> Literally has a demonic arm, enough said.

    Hassan of the hundred faces -> literally has a large number of differing personalities or faces inside himself and as a heroic spirit and maybe even when he was alive he could manifest these as separate beings thus having over 100 faces.

    Hassan of the Shining Star -> Unclear maybe something to do with the Star of David / Hexagram (commonly also called the seal of Solomon by Islamic practitioners, given that No Name Hassan referenced Solomon in relation to Unfeeling Patrolling Spirits, if anything he/she would be a better candidate for it's use than intoxicated smoke [something which does kinda eshrew my whole prior sheet based on the ability])

    No-Name Assassin -> Someone who failed to be a Hassan and uses imperfect copies (some differing in how they work, some stronger, some weaker) of the Other Hassans's Zabiniya techniques; A faker if you will similar to another person who in a possible future fought a grail war and called himself No-Name as a servant.

    etc.


    My point with this is that as I detailed in a prior post there is a lot of meaning you can derive from Intoxication / Drunkenness but most of these don't fit into the sheet in any way I can see (detailed below). The spirits don't possess others I can see that would make them behave in a manner similar to intoxication, nor does Hassan herself act in any manner that could be called intoxicated and given how neat the titles of the other Hassans fit simply choosing to ascribe the NP of Unfeeling Patrolling Spirits based on the later portion of her name (Smoke) while ignoring how it doesn't fit the other portion of her name (Intoxicated Smoke) misunderstands how neat most other Hassans or even Hassan Candidates have their names almost made surgically so that they precisely fit the servant and their abilities, essentially serving as a fingerprint for who they are in a few short words.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cursed by Fortuna View Post
    Well what do you mean by Drunkenness? Joking aside I am serious on that as there are a bunch of ways to think about the concept, drunkenness can mean being physically drunk, but it can also mean or imply revelry, immorality, and/or debauchery. Being drunk or intoxicated means one who has fallen under the influence of alcohol which like many things (or really everything depending on the dose) is a poison so it could refer to the imbibing of poison or something toxic. When I think of toxic or toxicity, I also think of people who are toxic, behaving in a manner as if they are filled with a great poison within themselves spewing out miasma and poison to anyone and anything around them, rendering the world around them less hospitable, intoxicating others, and creating an echo camber of a swampy poisonous miasma a realm where all that is good, normal, and right has been forgotten (much like immorality and revelry).

    I understand making a servant is hard, making a Hassan is even harder as their sheets and canon servants tend to be very tightly knit, but as it is I just can't be positive about this as it doesn't even feel done. I really hope I'm not coming off as being too critical and let me be clear, I don't care that this sheet uses the same NP as my Hassan did. If anything I enjoy seeing alternate takes on stuff and if my sheet in any way inspired this (not that I'm saying it did) then I'm flattered, I would love to see more people do Hassans as I feel they really do not get enough love in terms of sheets and even if that means I may make a sheet which seems to contradict another person's sheet, and may be considered better than mine then at the least I can take pleasure in seeing the different ideas different people brought to making the character. The fact that this Hassan and my Hassan didn't make me want to be any more or less critical of this sheet, if someone made a better Hassan that uses Unfeeling Patrolling spirits than me, or even one which rivals mine, I would be glad to praise them and enjoy the alternate take; What did make me critical of this sheet was that I feel it doesn't do justice to the idea or to the character that could have been, nothing more, nothing less.
    Last edited by Cursed by Fortuna; May 22nd, 2021 at 02:43 AM.
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    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Hawkeye's Avatar
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    No, that's fair, I too feel the sheet is very bare. I basically had the idea in my head and decided to scribble up a sheet for it last night while doing other things. I definitely feel I could work more on it and probably will. I didn't see your Hassan, so nothing was inspired there sorry to say, if I had, I probably would have done a better job. I did have reasoning behind the intoxicating part of the title, but I didn't get it across in the sheet clearly, so I'll go back and work on that. Really over all I shoulda thrown a WIP on this thing and came back to it when I could pay more attention/was sober.
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  8. #3688
    Maker of Poor Decisions and Massive Sheets TheTruthWhale's Avatar
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    @Wyvern:

    See, this is the kind of wholesome love I wasn't allowed to write for Hari. I'm still not a hundred on custom classes, but if there was ever someone who fit perfectly without having another class she could fall back on, it would probably be Finnabair. A good choice, and a good sheet all around. I like that she's not as pure support as she seems, and while she'd never use her abilities to their fullest, the kind of Master she'd hate absolutely would. I'm not sure how the "brings closer to death" clause would work, other than being a particular use of Fate Manipulation/Manifestation, which is certainly an interesting way to take things.

    Also, the faceclaim is so not pure love that I find the juxtaposition funny. Good choice.

    @Hawkeye:

    I don't have much to add, really. Also, is your pfp freaking Aoki? Because that's adorable if so.
    Last edited by TheTruthWhale; May 22nd, 2021 at 10:07 AM.

  9. #3689
    You Are Going to Brazil Wyvern's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheTruthWhale View Post
    @Wyvern:

    See, this is the kind of wholesome love I wasn't allowed to write for Hari. I'm still not a hundred on custom classes, but if there was ever someone who fit perfectly without having another class she could fall back on, it would probably be Finnabair. A good choice, and a good sheet all around. I like that she's not as pure support as she seems, and while she'd never use her abilities to their fullest, the kind of Master she'd hate absolutely would. I'm not sure how the "brings closer to death" clause would work, other than being a particular use of Fate Manipulation/Manifestation, which is certainly an interesting way to take things.

    Also, the faceclaim is so not pure love that I find the juxtaposition funny. Good choice.
    I was actually inspired to write this one by the Assassin Finnabair that @Sunny did a while back. I had a concept for her before but never found the motivation to write it, so seeing someone else do a version of the character had me wanting to post this one too.

    I'm glad you like the FC. Despite being a hopeless romantic, she is still Medb's daughter.

    As for the 'death clause' of her NP. Think about it like a geas. When someone accepts it, they gain the skills and abilities of Finnabair's past lovers, at the cost of suffering the same fate as them. It is something close to Fate Manipulation. The other option was writing it as a gradual weakening of the person until they die. But I feel like if Finnabair was aware of it, she would refuse to use her NP.

    As it stands, her nature as a hopeless romantic has her looking for a person with hero-like qualities.

    She is cursed to love the and seek them, while they are destined to love her in turn because of said qualities. Despite the wholesomeness, its quite tragic to imagine that her greatest power is to repeat the tragedies of her past. The one she loves dying because they loved her.

  10. #3690
    Maker of Poor Decisions and Massive Sheets TheTruthWhale's Avatar
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    I'm only good at writing psuedo-smut, okay?

    EDIT: I really like all the different styles of sheets that everyone uses. It brings a personal flair that you wouldn't have if there was just a standard, uniform sheet that everyone was expected to use.

    EDIT 2: I kinda want to do another servant, so, as with Hati, I'll cast the line here. Anything you guys want to see me try my hand at? Doesn't have to be a specific person, just a class is enough.
    Last edited by TheTruthWhale; May 22nd, 2021 at 11:26 AM.

  11. #3691
    Ominous Shadowy Spoiler Figure Cursed by Fortuna's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheTruthWhale View Post

    EDIT 2: I kinda want to do another servant, so, as with Hati, I'll cast the line here. Anything you guys want to see me try my hand at? Doesn't have to be a specific person, just a class is enough.
    I have a handful that I would potentially like to maybe see someone try so I'll just let them here for you to see if anything interest you.

    Sir Bredbeddle, King Gustavus Adolphus of Sweden, Oliver Cromwell, Boleslaw the Brave of Poland, The Beast of Gévaudan, and maybe Gottfried "Götz" von Berlichingen since my take on him seems to have stalled. (I also suppose I could throw Chrétien de Troyes in there as after toying with the Idea I'm not sure how I would like to implement it)
    Last edited by Cursed by Fortuna; May 22nd, 2021 at 12:51 PM.
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  12. #3692
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Dragolord09's Avatar
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    Honestly TheTruthWhale, besides the names I've already given you and haven't been done yet (Sköl, Apollodorus, Vrushali, and Kingu), the only new names I could come up with are Máni and Lóegaire Búadach. Though if you want to do another class, how about trying to make something like a Caster?

  13. #3693
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Kabalisto Koga's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheTruthWhale View Post
    I'm only good at writing psuedo-smut, okay?

    EDIT: I really like all the different styles of sheets that everyone uses. It brings a personal flair that you wouldn't have if there was just a standard, uniform sheet that everyone was expected to use.

    EDIT 2: I kinda want to do another servant, so, as with Hati, I'll cast the line here. Anything you guys want to see me try my hand at? Doesn't have to be a specific person, just a class is enough.
    perhaps try a Greek General there are many of wjich you cahn Chose , or a King as example ?
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  14. #3694
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Kabalisto Koga's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wyvern View Post
    I was actually inspired to write this one by the Assassin Finnabair that @Sunny did a while back. I had a concept for her before but never found the motivation to write it, so seeing someone else do a version of the character had me wanting to post this one too.

    I'm glad you like the FC. Despite being a hopeless romantic, she is still Medb's daughter.

    As for the 'death clause' of her NP. Think about it like a geas. When someone accepts it, they gain the skills and abilities of Finnabair's past lovers, at the cost of suffering the same fate as them. It is something close to Fate Manipulation. The other option was writing it as a gradual weakening of the person until they die. But I feel like if Finnabair was aware of it, she would refuse to use her NP.

    As it stands, her nature as a hopeless romantic has her looking for a person with hero-like qualities.

    She is cursed to love the and seek them, while they are destined to love her in turn because of said qualities. Despite the wholesomeness, its quite tragic to imagine that her greatest power is to repeat the tragedies of her past. The one she loves dying because they loved her.
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  15. #3695
    吸血鬼 Vampire BnEl15's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheTruthWhale View Post
    I'm only good at writing psuedo-smut, okay?

    EDIT: I really like all the different styles of sheets that everyone uses. It brings a personal flair that you wouldn't have if there was just a standard, uniform sheet that everyone was expected to use.

    EDIT 2: I kinda want to do another servant, so, as with Hati, I'll cast the line here. Anything you guys want to see me try my hand at? Doesn't have to be a specific person, just a class is enough.
    Let's see, aside from the names I have here, I have...

    - Enkidu (Lostbelt), where Ishtar got her dad to kill Gil for rejecting her advances (as opposed to killing Enkidu in the PHH). Two ways I can see this go: either they'd regress into their more monstrous form with a huge hate-boner for the gods, or they'd instead become single-mindedly determined to protect everything Gil had built for himself and his people, creating an "Eternal Uruk" of sorts.

    - Woodes Rogers, a pirate hunter from the 17th-18th century. The only idea I have on this guy is that he'd be a reverse-Blackbeard: a stern, dignified captain on the outside, a complete degenerate on the inside.

    - Reynald of Chattilon, a prominent member of the Second and Third Crusade who clashed with Saladin a few times and achieved moderate success in limiting Saladin's influence. He's a major dick though, to the point where when Saladin captured and personally beheaded him for the atrocities he committed, other crusaders such as Richard I and Baldwin IV just reacted like "yeah, he had it coming".

    - Deinocrates, Iskandar's top architect who designed the city plans for Alexandria. He also built a massive monument and funeral pyre to honor one of Iskandar's top generals, Hephaestion.

    - There's also a bunch of interesting figures in this gag competition here. Might be interesting to see a more serious take on some of the characters there.
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  16. #3696
    Maker of Poor Decisions and Massive Sheets TheTruthWhale's Avatar
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    Hell yeah. Thanks everyone.

    To address a few, Sköll I have no idea how to do and make him/her a unique entity from Hati, no matter if I grab the Lostbelt version or the true timeline one. I had a reason that I didn't do Apollodorus, but I can't remember it right now. The other Hindi servants I put aside to do Hari. Making a true Caster seems interesting, I'll try to work one of the names presented as such. Honestly, Enkidu (potentially genderbent, I have an idea) from a Lostbelt seems right up my alley, and if it supports a custom Lostbelt, I'm down to help.

    I'll have to look into the others as well. Current goal is Caster of some kind.

  17. #3697
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Kabalisto Koga's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheTruthWhale View Post
    Hell yeah. Thanks everyone.

    To address a few, Sköll I have no idea how to do and make him/her a unique entity from Hati, no matter if I grab the Lostbelt version or the true timeline one. I had a reason that I didn't do Apollodorus, but I can't remember it right now. The other Hindi servants I put aside to do Hari. Making a true Caster seems interesting, I'll try to work one of the names presented as such. Honestly, Enkidu (potentially genderbent, I have an idea) from a Lostbelt seems right up my alley, and if it supports a custom Lostbelt, I'm down to help.

    I'll have to look into the others as well. Current goal is Caster of some kind.
    Of which sort ofCaster would you like to make perhaps i could help you ? As i have some ideas for interesting Casters \/


    1;Xenophon : was a contemporarie of Platon and fellow Student of Socrates , he was known as the legendary Leader of the Ten thousand a Mercenary Arm,y that was collected under the persian Prince Kyros the younger which wanted to overtake his older Brther Artarxerxes II but died in Battle and Xenophon was the appointed Leader and managed to lead the in the Mesopothamian Region stranded Greek Forces back to Greek lands , so e would make a Strategist Caster or gicven that he wrothe also a Book obn Horsemannship and were a Army leader also a Strong Rider or Ruler .

    2: Demokrit of Abdera :THe founder of the Atomic Theory and was known as the Laughing philosopher .

    3:Heraklitos of Ephesos :A pre -Socratic Ionian Philosopher ,He was remembered as the weeping philosopher , he lived during the time as it were art oft he Persian Empire . His Philosophy consited out of that every Thing was made outo f a Form of Fire which Shows that he knew perhaps some Zoroastrianic Elements /had some Knowledge About it.He also had a specific cosmology . He was also known as the obscure for his wordplays aswell was he quite misanthropic view and hat he choe to live outside the Settlements so that Discernment of poor would be a possible skill aswell was he known for his Unity of opposites . He influenced the whole western philosophies upto Nietzsche and so on . would make for a powerfull Caster or perhaps Archer ,he is one of the servants i have on my Servant list . so have i thought already may parts.

    4: Aristophanes :Founder of the Greek (old) Comedy though may be a difficult Servant candidate as About his personality and Life is even less known . though he could make interesting and rtichy Caster servant.

    5; One of the Three Great Tragediens :Aschylos,Sophocles and Euripides were the three playwrights that made the Foundation of the Tragedy Genre all of them could make great caster candidates.

    6:Zenobia: Was the Palmyrenian Queen that was famous for the Rebelion against Rome and ruled the short lived Palmyrenian Empire , for here e multiple possible ways as she is one of the few Pre-islamic arabic servant candidates could you have her Arabian Divine sorcery , as she was Rergent for her Son could you give her the King Maker skill .


    7:Bardiya :was the Son of Kyros the Great and was said to be disposed and impersionated by aa Magus called Gaumata could be either a Caster , Ruler or Faker .

    8;Nektanobos II:Was the last native Pharao of egypt ,not Kleopatra .
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  18. #3698
    Foreigner Sheetematic Universe! DelRey's Avatar
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    Maybe come up with an extra extra class like voyager, watcher, gatekeeper or beloved Lover Class

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  19. #3699
    吸血鬼 Vampire NittyGritty's Avatar
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    consider

    alter voyager that uses beatrice as a basis instead of the little prince

  20. #3700
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Kabalisto Koga's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NittyGritty View Post
    consider

    alter voyager that uses beatrice as a basis instead of the little prince
    Sorry About which Beatrice do you speak ?
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