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Thread: Create-A-Servant 3

  1. #4361
    Ominous Shadowy Spoiler Figure Cursed by Fortuna's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Morg van Destro View Post
    Snip
    Everyone is free to feel how they want, you don't need anyone's permission to have an opinion on something. I also agree on your points (and as a creator considering we pour ourselves and a lot of effort into our work it only is normal to favor it) and to that end I would say more power to you.

    But to go into more detail I would say if it hasn't happened yet it's probably never going to happen. Nasu and Co has repeatedly gone to the Arthurian mythos for characters and yet they always obsess over one specific time period, the era of the Knights of the Round, even when talking about characters which predate that era (Artoira Lily), those whose lives were not always spent in that era or space (Tristan [before becoming a member of the knights of the round]), those who came before that era or had connections to before it happened (Brunor le Noir whose father may have been a knight of the Old Table [Uther's version of the Knights of the Round Table which predate the actual Knights of the Round Table]) and those who arguably outlast that era (Percival in some myths possibly exploring the idea of other survivors and showing the perspective of after Camelot's fall).


    But they've never gone through with it, Artoria Lily barely talks about her adventures before becoming king and despite being a novel way to explore what King Artoria was like before she took the sword in the stone, he seems more interested with making her obsessed with her future as the King of Knights rather than talking about her present self. I don't know if they have ever even mentioned the Knights of the Old Table to confirm if they did or did not exist, Tristan never seems to mention what much of his stories or legends other than those that are laser focused on the knights of the round (I think he doesn't even mention King Mark much), much less what his life was like before joining the Knights of the Round or what happened after he left them. As for talking about what happened after Camelot fell, unless you want to talk about the immediate aftermath and Artoria's death and what happened to the body and her sword, they really don't talk about that much either.

    It's a shame as frankly I think the story of Camelot has been told to the point where it's not interesting anymore and I would love to hear more about how Camelot came to be, what it was like before Camelot, King Arthur's early adventures, or what happened in the years or decades after Camelot's fall (as maybe that would revitalize my interest in the setting), but Nasu and Co seem utterly disinterested with the idea. They've had a bunch of chances, not the least of which is Lostbelt 6, but they've never taken them. But to tie it back to your comments Morg, I say if they haven't done it by now and they don't seem to want to ever do it then really you're free to do what you want with that era in terms of writing it.
    The Nasuverse: Everything you know about history is wrong, people don't die when they are killed, The Archer class is not filled with Archers, and King Arthur is a Girl.

    Behold, The Halls of the Lost Souls lies before you

    1st Grail War Idea


    Servant Template and Servant Ideas for anyone's use if they wish

    Favorite Servants I've Read (in no particular order [updates over time])

  2. #4362
    吸血鬼 Vampire Master_Therion's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GOJIRA98 View Post


    Class: Ruler
    Other Classes: Rider, Caster
    True Name: Catherine the Great
    Alignment: Chaotic Good
    Place of Origin: Russia
    Japanese VA: Yuki Masuda
    English VA: Lydia Mackay
    Parameters:
    Strength: E
    Endurance: C+
    Agility: C
    Mana: B+
    Luck: A
    NP: A++
    Height/Weight: 157cm • 54kg
    Measurements: B91cm • W57cm • H86cm
    Likes: Enlightenment, Poetry, Men
    Dislikes: Vicious rumors, Abuse of power
    Talent: Artistry, Horseback riding
    Natural Enemy: Medb, Peter III, Boudica
    Attribute: Star
    Armaments: Scepter
    Catalyst: The Holy Grail
    Master: None

    Class Skills:
    Magic Resistance B:
    Despite being a relatively modern figure, her Magic Resistance is at a high level, likely due in part to her practice of Jewel Magecraft.
    Territory Creation C+:
    One of her standard Classes is Caster, and as such can create a territory beneficial to her. Hers manifests as a “Palace” where she can rule properly.
    Riding A+:
    One of her standard Classes is Rider. As a ruler to her people, revered on horseback, she is the very image of “riding”. As such, she is able to operate any vehicle, and tame any beast, with the exception of Dragon Kinds.

    Personal Skills:
    Charisma of the Empress (Love) EX:
    Praised as a great empress, whose influence is recognized into modern day, the Empress of Love receives her own, unique skill. Though man and woman alike bowed to the whims of usurper empress, Catherine was known for her particular sway over men, and the torrid love affairs that would result. As such, men, regardless of sexuality, will find it near impossible to not be charmed by even her most chaste of requests.
    Golden Rule (Wealth & Body) A:
    To be expected of a the Empress of Love, who restored the image of Russia and turned it into a world superpower, unimaginable riches and power were at her beck and call. Not only this, but so desired was she, so beautiful, that men fell to their knees before her. Despite her overwhelming presence, many were surprised by her petite stature.
    Her nickname, the “Messalina of the Neva”, can be a substitute name for this Skill.
    Mana Burst (Gem) B+++:
    In Catherine’s quest for enlightenment, she began the study of Magecraft. In particular, a certain type of Magecraft originating from Japan, taught by a powerful Magician, caught her eye. In this style of Magecraft that involves the transfer of Mana into jewels, Catherine became an expert in secret. Many knew of her love for opulent jewels and gems, however, and many courted her with the promise of these riches. One such jewel, a diamond gifted to her by one Grigory Orlov, is encrusted in her scepter, which she uses as a Mystic Code.

    Lore:
    The powerful empress (tsarina) of Russia during the latter half of the 18th Century, who overthrew her husband, the former emperor (tsar) Peter III. Though not of Russian descent, being a German Princess the name of Sophie Friederike Auguste von Anhalt-Zerbst-Dornburg, she took to her new home of Russia with great empathy after her marriage. Marrying into the doomed Romanov Dynasty, such a terrible fate would never have been thought of under her rule.
    Truly, Catherine the Great, one of two “Greats” of Russian royalty, shone like a beacon, lighting her country’s way from the dark ages and into the Enlightenment, known as the “Catherinian Era”. As with many of history's most powerful rulers, she did not get to her station alone. A woman ahead of her times, she used her overwhelming charisma and charm to make alliances with powerful figures, particularly her two “favorites”, Orlov and Potemkin. Such exploits earned her the title of “the Empress of Love”.
    A woman of such power was, of course, not without her enemies. Although untouchable in life, in death, rumors that persist into modern day mar and stain her reputation. Whether it was courtship with animals, or creating a harem of advisors, Catherine’s enemies spread as many false claims about her as they could.
    Despite this, no number of vicious rumor can truly take away from the inspiring legacy that Catherine left in her wake. Much of the culture of modern Russia was paved by Catherine, and she is a point of national pride whose light shall never fade.

    Personality:
    Groomed by her mother from a young age to be a perfect queen, Catherine carries herself with a poise and grace unparalleled by her contemporaries. However, the path of “submissive queen” was never one she was destined to follow. Indeed, Catherine was an empress like no other, who took responsibility when she saw leadership lacking.
    In many ways, she resembles a certain King of Knights, able to put on a stoic visage when taking on the role of empress, or taking on her role as Ruler, arbiter of the Holy Grail War. She is able to easily separate any casual life from her professional life, creating an overwhelming presence that belies her small frame. Because of this, many are surprised that she’s not a statuesque, imposing figure.
    Catherine’s motto in life is “live and let love”. Truly, the concept of “love” is intrinsically tied to her life, both in its presence, and its absence. Growing up, Catherine was raised to be a king’s wife, with only that prospect set aside for her. She was not to be anything but a candidate for king’s wife, especially in her mother’s eyes. When Catherine finally married a king, Peter III, it was a loveless relationship, riddled with abuse and mere obligation. For Catherine, she cannot survive in a loveless world, and in situations where emotions and empathy are minimal, her misery is easy to see.
    As such, even in professional situations, Catherine conducts herself with a flirtatious and coquettish air. This makes her come off as more jovial and carefree than she might be. Catherine wants simply to love and be loved, and in this way, she resembles a certain Emperor of Roses. As such, she has the same vice. She gives love, but only because she expects it in return. Even in life, giving her love meant gaining something from her object of affection. Whether that was a political advisor, or a partner to help organize a coup, Catherine is an expert in the art of subtle manipulation. So subtle is she, she almost doesn’t realize herself that she’s being manipulative.
    Although this can be a negative in many situations, Catherine can also bring out the positives of her extreme passion for human connection. She genuinely loves humanity, a love that fueled her coup against her husband. Her husband didn’t love humanity, only worldly pleasures for himself. As such, Catherine, knowing her passion could help people, took up the mantle of empress and took her husband down. She is a natural leader, who knows how to play to people’s hearts and pathos. As manipulative she can be, she can be equally as inspiring, equally as reliable, and equally as loving.

    Noble Phantasms:
    Zimniy Dvoretz: The Winter Palace (ズィームニイ・ドヴァリェーツ/冬宮殿)
    Type: Barrier
    Rank: A
    An idealized version of the real-world construct of the same name, Zimniy Dvoretz is not a Noble Phantasm unique to Catherine the Great, belonging to all Russian royalty who called it home. It is, however, at its most powerful under her command, even more so than under Peter the Great, who created it. A powerful Bounded Field Noble Phantasm, supplemented by the countless jewels encrusted on her crown and scepter, it creates a palace where Catherine and her allies can make base, as well as providing them with Mana.
    Depending on the amount of Mana reserved in her scepter that she uses, she can spawn specific areas and rooms that she knew in life. One such room is St. George’s Hall, a throne room that, at the sacrifice of many of the jewels in her crown and scepter, provides her allies with what’s practically an engine of Mana.

    Polyarnaya Zvezda: Like Polaris, Lead the Way Through the Darkness (ポリアルナヤ・ズヴェズダ/闇に道を照らす、北極星のように)
    Type: Anti-Dark
    Rank: A++
    Among her many titles granted during her reign, one such moniker was the Star of the North, being likened to the polar star that for centuries has guided humanity’s way through the darkness, having lighted Russia’s way out of the darkness of her husband’s rule, and into the Era of Enlightenment. As such, the royal crown at the top of her head is, in fact, this Noble Phantasm, the red spinel at its top a shining star in its own right. As the most powerful jewel in her arsenal, Catherine the Great saves Polyarnaya Zvezda as a last resort. It is the very symbol of her royalty, her right to rule, her title as one of the two “Greats” of Russia.
    It is the crystallization of her reign, the expansion of her country, its revitalized culture, the codification of both her name and Russia in history. Once activated, Catherine becomes a beacon of light, the North Star itself, the colorful waves of the Aurora Borealis, all that shines in the night. The glimmer from her crown creates a powerful barrier that defends her allies, granting them health and immunity, while repelling those that she considers a threat. It can withstand powerful offensive Noble Phantasms, and reflect a counterattack of equal power.
    Truth be told, this Noble Phantasm can be used at any time, so long as Catherine has access to jewels imbued with enough Mana to handle its output. Catherine herself, however, only has two such jewels in her arsenal; the red spinel in her crown, which represents the Noble Phantasm itself, and the Orlov Diamond in her scepter.

    Notes
    Hey all! So this is my first Servant sheet, and in a lot of ways this is a kind of me testing the waters, seeing how exactly I can bend the lore of the Fate universe and how well I understand it, because I really wanna make my own story for it. So I hope y’all like it! Tell me what you think! I would’ve submitted this for the contest, but I think I was late haha.

    Art done by me! Here’s a link to my Twitter!
    https://twitter.com/AWholeLottaLotl
    First of all, I love how you even give voice actors for you servant. Second, it is a nice servant, with a specific theme (Love) that shows as both extremes, the bad and good side of love; also relevant skills and interesting NPs. Did you draw her Image? If so, wow, that gives such a unique touch. It gives her more personality by having a set image. For a first sheet, it is good. Although I have to ask, what exactly is her connection with gems? As in, why does she have Mana Burst (Gem)? Is she famous for owning many jewels?

  3. #4363
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Kabalisto Koga's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cursed by Fortuna View Post
    Everyone is free to feel how they want, you don't need anyone's permission to have an opinion on something. I also agree on your points (and as a creator considering we pour ourselves and a lot of effort into our work it only is normal to favor it) and to that end I would say more power to you.

    But to go into more detail I would say if it hasn't happened yet it's probably never going to happen. Nasu and Co has repeatedly gone to the Arthurian mythos for characters and yet they always obsess over one specific time period, the era of the Knights of the Round, even when talking about characters which predate that era (Artoira Lily), those whose lives were not always spent in that era or space (Tristan [before becoming a member of the knights of the round]), those who came before that era or had connections to before it happened (Brunor le Noir whose father may have been a knight of the Old Table [Uther's version of the Knights of the Round Table which predate the actual Knights of the Round Table]) and those who arguably outlast that era (Percival in some myths possibly exploring the idea of other survivors and showing the perspective of after Camelot's fall).


    But they've never gone through with it, Artoria Lily barely talks about her adventures before becoming king and despite being a novel way to explore what King Artoria was like before she took the sword in the stone, he seems more interested with making her obsessed with her future as the King of Knights rather than talking about her present self. I don't know if they have ever even mentioned the Knights of the Old Table to confirm if they did or did not exist, Tristan never seems to mention what much of his stories or legends other than those that are laser focused on the knights of the round (I think he doesn't even mention King Mark much), much less what his life was like before joining the Knights of the Round or what happened after he left them. As for talking about what happened after Camelot fell, unless you want to talk about the immediate aftermath and Artoria's death and what happened to the body and her sword, they really don't talk about that much either.

    It's a shame as frankly I think the story of Camelot has been told to the point where it's not interesting anymore and I would love to hear more about how Camelot came to be, what it was like before Camelot, King Arthur's early adventures, or what happened in the years or decades after Camelot's fall (as maybe that would revitalize my interest in the setting), but Nasu and Co seem utterly disinterested with the idea. They've had a bunch of chances, not the least of which is Lostbelt 6, but they've never taken them. But to tie it back to your comments Morg, I say if they haven't done it by now and they don't seem to want to ever do it then really you're free to do what you want with that era in terms of writing it.
    i dont know enough to allow a comment on that but it would be interesting to know who was Arthorias succesor after Camlan and i think that they have i mean Nasu plus TEam havent the Detail sight for a much deeper Story i mean what i have read through Wiki About the Lostbelts was was the Detail Deep in Olympus the most complicated aside that i dislike the MEcha aspect as comeone that with the Space traveling objects are provokating for me just more Questions .

    like whrtr to Comeback at Camelot the whereabouts of Morgan during and after the Camlan Battle ? Allso what are ther burdening circumstances that are implied but no more info is given About them ,they could t this Point make a Nasu verse Camelot anime where all Topics could be dealt and explained and i am shure this would when they are giving effort in it also well received Feedbacks back our community or how do you see that ?

    Also that may be now a Little specific Question but as i made a Vlad Dracual tepes servant in the contest what are beside Vlad III the most important or best Servant candidate Voivodes of Walachia as servants ?
    Your verified Chikara-production Studios !
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  4. #4364
    Ominous Shadowy Spoiler Figure Cursed by Fortuna's Avatar
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    Caster - Hipparchus of Nicaea

    “To you who have summoned me, I am the Caster of the Stars, Hipparchus of Nicaea. Now seeker of the stars, let us clear the path towards the heavens.”



    https://danbooru.donmai.us/posts/3926727 Image Source
    https://danbooru.donmai.us/posts?tags=a_ching Image Author

    Characteristics

    Eligible Catalysts: Pieces of the Antikythera mechanism, texts written by him, texts related to his work or ancient astronomy (lesser)
    Height / Weight: 187 cm / 74 kg
    Alignment: Neutral Good
    Home: Rhodes, Greece
    Origin: Historical Fact


    Personal Information

    Attribute: Human
    Likes: Humans, Astrology/Astromancy, the Earth
    Dislikes: Gods, Wine, people without vision
    Talents: Astrology/Astromancy, Trigonometry, Wanting to help humans
    Natural Enemy: BBhotep


    Lore

    An ancient greek astronomer considered by some as the father of astronomy (alongside being the father of spherical trigonometry and many other accomplishments), he also was a magus who worked with the wandering sea. Little of his early life is known except that he originally hailed from Nicaea in Bithynia, likely being born on or around 190 BC before eventually moving to the isle of Rhodes in Greece at some point. He is known to have been active in his work since at least 162, but his work in astronomy is dated to around 147-127 BC and lived until at least come time afterwards. He is also widely suspected to have been involved in the creation of the Antikythera mechanism either directly or in a consulting role, typically dated from 150 to 100 BC or possibly as late as 87 BC. Much information about him and some of his writings have been lost and to those in the moonlight world this is greatly suspected to be a deliberate case of sabotage by the Wandering Sea who were also involved in the creation of the Antikythera mechanism.

    However based on speculation from magi historians it is presumed Hipparchus despite holding a position as a teacher at the wandering sea betrayed them for some unknown reason (if he ever was truly loyal) and attempted to distribute the Antikythera mechanism to the public alongside much of his research (something which would cause an enormous amount of damage to the mystery involved in astromancy and such). As such his death which some place at having happened possibly at or around the time of the sinking of the ship continuing the Antikythera in a sudden and violent storm somewhere in or around 75 to 50 BC is also lilley suspected to have been part of their attempt to not only kill Hipparchus, but destroy his work and ensure that his discoveries would never see the light of day as to weaken the mysteries they guarded. However in that respect, if that was their goal, then the Wandering Sea was only able to delay the inevitable.


    Personality


    If there are Gods who dwell within the void, then may they perish within the void. This World is something truly beautiful, a treasure bequeathed upon mankind for overcoming the age of the gods; It is our treasure and it is our future. This world is something truly worth saving, This world, our world, has no need for gods.



    Caster as a pseudo-servant is best described as a “Perfect fusion” of both Hipparchus of Nicaea and Kirschtaria Wodime. In terms of ideology the two differ slightly in methods and outlook, with Hipparchus of Nicaea being described as a “heretical” or rogue magus, one one in an era caught betwixt the age of the gods and the age of men, choose to look to the future instead of the past. Hipparchus of Nicaea is inherently critical and harsh of others who he sees has potential, adopting a non-nonsense rule with his lifestyle, particularly if he thinks they are making a mistake, however rather than something he derives pleasure from, or does out of malice, it is instead done more in the style of a teacher or a mentor*; One who wishes to see another advance cannot do so without castizing them for their mistakes (although in his cases some of his perceptions of what quantifies a mistake could be argued to be more his opinion than a genuine fact). This is partly balanced out by Kirschtaria Wodime whose presence causes Caster to be slightly less harsh and compendious in his criticisms and to “be able to relax a bit” outside of his work.

    * This is perhaps best emphasized in one of the records recovered by magi interested in archaeology which revealed that during the construction of the Antikythera mechanism (for which Hipparchus of Nicaea was consulted on and heavily involved with) on no less than 3 separate occasions he sent scrolls over 2 cubit (roughly the length of a man’s forearm [18.20 inches = 1 cubit]) in length detailing complaints, criticisms, mistakes, errors, design issues, and more with the device. Miscellaneous communications dating from around that time believed to have been from students of his in the Wandering Sea** also similar behavior both complaining yet also begrudgingly praising his “harsh, yet effective” methods of teaching as well as his philosophy of “my work is my life”.

    ** A claim they vigorously deny, alongside Hipparchus of Nicaea having ever worked for or with them.


    However, similarities in the core philosophies of the advancement and progress of mankind fuel the two men leading to a much higher compatibility than one would expect, despite Kirschtaria Wodime making more usage of magecraft in his life (with Hipparchus of Nicaea being more interested in the creation of mystic codes and technology and techniques based on the principles of magecraft rather than magecraft itself) and plans and prior to his death and events around the time of it, him initially being less distrustful of the gods than Hipparchus of Nicaea was in his life.


    Relationships

    Heracles: A demigod who ascended to the likes of a god, I apologize, but those like you do not interest me, you ascended due to their favour and blessing, and stood alongside them. I will forge a path based on surpassing or replacing them, those who surpass them even without their favour or blessing. As such even the stars of the past must be surpassed.

    Romulus-Quirinus: A man who rose to the heights of a god, not by the power of the gods, but by the worship of humanity. The founder of the greatest empire the world would ever know, I implore your aid, with your spear then surely mankind can succeed, with your strength surely we can reach the stars and surpass the gods.

    Caenis: Caenis, It seems our paths cross once again, once more I offer you my hand, my promise remains the same and if you desire it then I would gladly have you aid me in finishing my prior work.

    Atlas: Forgive me, It was my fault, I was so close, and yet I failed to see what was in front of my own eyes.

    Muramasa: I made the error of underestimating your role beforehand, that was an error on my part, and I must apologize for that. Even still it needs not to end this way, with your aid my goals would be able to be realized, our interests aline and your works remains proof that mankind can reach and equal the works of the gods. However, choose to stand in my path and I will offer you no mercy.



    Parameters:
    Strength – E+
    Endurance – E+
    Agility – E+
    Mana – A++
    Luck – B-
    Noble Phantasm – EX



    Class Skills

    Territory Creation [B+]- Allows for the creation of a Celestarium, a space which serves as both an astrological observatory, a geologic observatory, and a workshop for astromancy. Within the bounds of such they are able to line up the space in such a manner as to boost their own parameters and greatly boost their own mana. This space is also essential for the creation and strengthening of Chaldeas Antikythera which is needed to fuel Inanima Animusphere.

    Item Construction [B+]- As a combination of two powerful mages Caster is capable of creating many powerful artifacts, from devices able to store magical energy, mystic codes to channel and utilize magical energy or concepts associated with the planets, and all manner of creations. In particular he is well suited for devices with ties to phenomena based on space, the planets, and such. However the likes of a potion of immortality (although he could create draughts able to extend one’s life and increase their natural abilities based on specific conceptual meanings of the planets) still lies beyond his abilities.


    Personal Skills

    Magecraft [B++]- Caster is innately that of a mage, despite Hipparchus of Nicaea’s preference to the methods of magecraft than the art itself, both he and Kirschtaria Wodime are gifted if not prodigious in the art with a particularly strong point being divination and predictive magecraft and astromancy.

    High speed Incantation [B+]- Due to skills gained over both of his component’s lives Caster displays an ability to “think on his feet” and “speak fast and clearly when needed” (both in terms of magecraft and other matters). When considering strictly Astromancy alone his casting speed is near unrivaled.

    All Kinds of Specializations [B]- Caster is among other things, a mathematician, a geographer, a magus, a teacher, a leader, well studied in academia in two separate lives, an astrologer, a politician (a given with his role in Chaldeas and as a magus), a researcher, and likes music, baking, and fencing among other hobbies and skills gained and curated by both Hipparchus of Nicaea and Kirschtaria Wodime. At this level skills of at least C rank, with many being B and some even A rank can be displayed as a result.


    Noble Phantasms

    Chaldeas Antikythera, the observational model of the cosmos - E - A
    The fusion of Chaldeas the miniature model of the world and the Antikythera Mechanism created with Hipparchus of Nicaea’s consulting. It is an advanced analog computer which when initially constructed is able to observe the sun, the 5 major planets, tell the time, predict solar eclipses, among other things. Due to the fusion of Kirschtaria Wodime and being tied to the Celestarium Caster creates it can be continually upgraded even after first being built. The initial design has been augmented and fused with Hipparchus of Nicaea work on geography as well as Kirschtaria Wodime’s insight into the design of Chaldeas and Sheba to both increase its accuracy, it’s range (including a telescope based mystic code), and it’s computational power of the device. But by means of increasing the amount of readings and tests able to be performed, adding the ability to print off it’s predictions much like an automatic typewriter, more advanced lens to be able to see more planets and more of the galaxy (if not even the universe or parallel versions of our galaxy), increasing the accuracy of the device, connecting it to the world’s leylines to detect disruptions, and such it is able to grow continually stronger.

    The device itself serves no purpose at first (although it could work phenomenally well in spying on locations giving off readings, and such covertly from across the globe), it’s main use is in the prediction of phenomena and fueling Inanima Animusphere. Mystery is fundamentally that which relies on that which “might be possible” with things either unknown or impossible not having strong mystery, if any mystery at all. By continually predicting, recording, and observing the what is and is not possible, noting patterns, and thus expanding the understanding of a subjects or a place it’s mystery is eroded and weakened as such with enough observations and prediction eventually the possibilities become thinned until only the reality is left, resulting in a near total, if not complete annihilation of a place or a subject’s mystery. When applied to the planets and space as a whole, one of the final frontiers of mystery (alongside the deepest parts of the sea), a place where human understanding is greatly limited fundamentally can be elucidated and thus removed of much of it’s mystery.
    Anti-Mystery, Observation
    N/A

    Let us kill the Gods within the Void
    Inanima Animusphere
    - EX

    The great thesis of Hipparchus of Nicaea combined with the philosophy and magecraft of Kirschtaria Wodime, a singular ritual whose performance would, by any other mage, much less the vaunted mages of the atromancy department be considered heresy of the highest order. Through the usage of completed Chaldeas Antikythera, drains and dispels the mysteries of the cosmos. In function this starts to create a bubble a “dead zone” if you will around the planet it is used on expanding outwards, functionally draining and removing the mystery of everywhere Chaldeas Antikythera observes (with it’s only functional limit on it’s expansion being how far the observational segment (celestial telescope) of Chaldeas Antikythera can see (and thus predict). As a consequence, the very existence of beings deemed alien or divine who originated from the void of space becomes increasingly impossible , functionally forming a “wall” inside which such beings would “shrivel up and die”. It can be considered a reenactment of the very process which degraded the vast infinity of space, once a bastion for the power of Astromancy, to a mere plane to be observed and recorded through astrology.

    As a result this device is considered an antasma to extraterrestrial beings, be they types (who despite benign able to survive thanks to the aid of their planets would be greatly weakened), Outer Gods (who could either be killed or forced to flee this dimension lest they risk “starving” due to the lack of mystery), or other alien creatures. While extraordinary in theory that an astromancer would even think of using such a power or creating something like Chaldeas Antikythera (one of the largest reasons for the erosion of mystery in space), much less improving on the design, it reflects Kirschtaria’s mindset (as well as his newfound caution and skepticism when it comes to gods or divine/extraterrestrial beings) and focus advancement of humans and the nature of the gods as resources to be used to propel humanity. With the annihilation or crippling of all extraterrestrial organisms, yet their civilizations and technology being left intact by this power, this would leave humanity functionally unchallenged as a spacefaring species to both spread across the galaxy (if not the universe or alternate parallel worlds which this could extend into) and integrate the technology of the civilization destroyed by Inanima Animusphere.

    “If this world is to lose it’s mystery then may it lose it’s mystery, in such a world humanity will no longer need gods; For in such a world humanity will instead become gods. Humanity will take upon all the gods of the void left behind, and then they will replace the gods, becoming an unparalleled power which spans the very universe.”

    Anti-Divine, Anti-Mystery, Anti-World, Anti-Galaxy
    All targets in range





    Might be a little wank on this guy, but I think it fits given it's kinda a situational superpower in how it works.
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  5. #4365
    リビングデッド Living Dead GOJIRA98's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Master_Therion View Post
    First of all, I love how you even give voice actors for you servant. Second, it is a nice servant, with a specific theme (Love) that shows as both extremes, the bad and good side of love; also relevant skills and interesting NPs. Did you draw her Image? If so, wow, that gives such a unique touch. It gives her more personality by having a set image. For a first sheet, it is good. Although I have to ask, what exactly is her connection with gems? As in, why does she have Mana Burst (Gem)? Is she famous for owning many jewels?

    I did the art yeah! And yep, Catherine was known to show off her wealth with the Crown Jewels (which I’m pretty sure she commissioned the current royal crown, but I could be wrong on that). Either way, she was known for loving jewelry, and all her suitors would gift her the most expensive gems they could find. So I made it so she was actually a student of Jewel Magecraft in the Nasuverse.
    There’s always a part of us we hide, a part of us we trample down into the dirt. Sometimes we bury it so deep, we forget it exists, or think it’s long gone. But eventually we’ll sink back to meet it. Will you be strong enough by then to finally accept it?

    Profiles for my story, Fate/Imperial matrix, coming soon!(?)

  6. #4366
    Wyrd oft nereð unfǽgne eorl, þonne his ellen déah... Skull's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kabalisto Koga View Post
    i dont know enough to allow a comment on that but it would be interesting to know who was Arthorias succesor after Camlan and i think that they have i mean Nasu plus TEam havent the Detail sight for a much deeper Story i mean what i have read through Wiki About the Lostbelts was was the Detail Deep in Olympus the most complicated aside that i dislike the MEcha aspect as comeone that with the Space traveling objects are provokating for me just more Questions .
    Traditionally King Arthur names his nephew Constantine the successor to the throne just before going off to battle Mordred. Constantine assumes the throne but is unable to restore the glory of his predecessors as he is shortly after killed by his own power hungry nephew Aurelius Conanus but shortly after Aurelius takes the throne karma strikes and he dies by falling off a horse. Thus putting a rather sad end to a once great dynasty that ruled over the island.

    Of course, whether or not TM decides to acknowledge any of that or make even more unnecessary changes is anyone's guess. ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯.
    "Here's a bangin lil' tune about takin' on The Man!"

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  7. #4367
    Didn't finish this guy in time for the monthly contest, oh well~

    AVENGER
    "Brother... do you think I've forgotten?"


    True Name: You Know His Name.
    Class: Avenger
    Alternate Classes: Berserker, Lancer
    Region: Europe
    Source: Historical Myth
    Alignment: Chaotic Good
    Attribute: Star
    Armaments: A Shepherd's Crook

    Parameters
    STR: A
    AGI: B
    END: A
    MGI: C
    LCK: C
    NP: A


    Biography
    A man who loved his family more than anything. A man who loved his older brother, and was betrayed by that same brother. A man who was Murdered. A man who was robbed of his future lineage, robbed of his right to do incredible things in this world. Worst of all, his brother prospered afterwards... that's not fair, not fair at all.

    He's going to destroy his brother, and everything he worked for. He will rob him of the legacy he himself never got the chance to have. The future that was stolen from him out of jealousy. Their blood is divine, but his revenge will be infernal.



    Skills
    Class Skills

    Avenger
    Rank: B+
    When faced with those born of his brother's legacy, this Skill increases in Rank to EX.

    Self-Replenishment (Mana)
    Rank: A
    The world as it is today is only possible because of his brother's betrayal. As such, his burning hatred for the current Order fills him with Mana for as long as he remains in the modern era.

    Oblivion Correction
    Rank: EX
    Avenger won't ever forget, or forgive, his brother. The two have become synonymous with "brother slaying brother", and as such, his ingrained memory and desire for revenge is reinforced and 'justified' by the collective memory of humanity as a whole. Thus, the EX Rank. No matter what, until his brother's legacy has been torn down, he will not stop.



    Personal Skills

    Natural Body
    Rank: B
    He was always stronger than his older brother, hence the traitor's need to resort to surprise in order to defeat him. No matter what happens, Avenger will always be in peak physical condition. His body is, after all, born of the blood of the Divine.

    Divinity
    Rank: A --
    We won't talk about this. His desire for revenge and hatred (?) of his brother, and by extension of the Divinity that wrought the two of them, has sealed this Skill.

    Charming Shepherd
    Rank: B
    Despite his burning desire for vengeance, Avenger is still in his heart the same innocent shepherd who idolized and was devoted to his older brother. That, in the end, is what makes the betrayal burn ever more, and only makes him stronger.



    Noble Phantasms
    Wait, who are you, exactly? Avenger, what drives that hate? What lies behind it?
    Remuria
    Finis Gentis Romanae

    "This is the end, Brother.
    The end of your treachery, the end of my pain!
    Behold the anger of all those you've hurt!
    I am Remus! And this is...
    Remuria!"


    Rank: A
    Type: Anti-Nation

    The coalescence of everyone Rome has crushed in its path to be the most important nation in history. The "nation that never was", Remuria is a Bounded Field that is centered on Avenger's shepherd's crook. Covering a larger area the more Avenger feels his burning desire for revenge, Remuria acts as an "Anti-Rome". Essentially, all products of Rome and its influence are diminished within Remuria, whereas products of enemies of Rome or peoples that it trampled are enhanced and strengthened.

    The effects of Remuria are stronger the closer to the 'origin' of Rome something is-- that is to say, the more directly related to Romulus they are. For instance, a Servant with Roman connections will be weakened by Remuria, but the degree to which they are weakened varies. Somebody who just happened to be born in Rome but otherwise has their own legacy independent of the nation will only experience slight decreases to their parameters, whereas somebody who is, say, a Roman Emperor will find the effects of Remuria debilitating. Meanwhile, somebody like Boudica, who hates Rome as much as Remus, will find themselves empowered to a level they had never thought possible.

    Romulus himself, however, seems to be less affected by the Noble Phantasm than his descendants. In truth, as he is not a 'product' of Rome, but rather Rome is a 'product' of him, Remuria, as the "Anti-Rome", is designed to destroy his legacy, not himself. In the end, Romulus is more saddened by what his actions have wrought than anything.


    Mater Pulchrae
    Et Filii Tui Lupercalia


    "She hasn't forgotten either, Brother.
    Though you are hers as well
    it remains true that you took her Son from her.
    Come forth, beloved Mother.
    Mater Pulchrae."


    Rank: A
    Type: Anti-Army

    The she-wolf of legend, who raised the sons of Mars before they fell into the arms of man. Or rather, a reflection of that same Phantasmal Beast. When her beloved sons came into conflict, she herself was conflicted. This internal strife was impossible to reconcile-- Pride for Romulus, whose progeny went on to prosper like none before him. Fury for Remus, who was robbed of the chance for that same prosperity due to a petty disagreement. As Remus has manifested in the Class Container of vengeance, the latter half of his mother is brought with him in the form of this Noble Phantasm.

    Emerging from some place hidden, Mater Pulchrae is an enormous wolf, rivalling a city bus in size and a city bus driver in ferocity. She will tear through any who stand in her beloved son's way, especially those of Roman blood. The Sons of Mars suckled from her and she only made them stronger, her fury is endless and her power is unrivalled. The weapons of man can hardly slow her down, and she's only made stronger by your struggle.

    However, when faced with her other Son... she cannot bring herself to attack him, not even in her enraged state. No, this is a battle that must be fought between brothers, by brothers.
    Last edited by kiwi; June 23rd, 2021 at 12:37 AM.

  8. #4368
    吸血鬼 Vampire Master_Therion's Avatar
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    Oh oh, I was not expecting that. Was wondering why he had the Star attribute, but in a way it makes sense.
    Last edited by Master_Therion; June 22nd, 2021 at 03:50 PM.

  9. #4369
    リビングデッド Living Dead Valfodr's Avatar
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    Well, been a while since I've been back. Funny that, huh. Anyways, I'm currently working on a sheet for Saika Magoichi, but I'm running into a few issues regarding skills and Noble Phantasms. Namely, the fact that there realy isn't a lot to go on regarding the exploits of the individual people who held that name, and unfortunately someone else has already done a "three for the price of one" version of him. All I'm left with is either giving him a support type NP based on the general aid that the second Magoichi gave to the Ikko rebellion, an army summon type NP where he lead 3000 gunmen into battle during the Hongan-ji riots, or just straight up basing him off the Nioh 2 Magoichi, complete with Yatagarasu hovering at his shoulder and aiding him in battle(basically, an Archer who fights more like an Assassin with a bit of Caster thrown in for flavor).
    Last edited by Valfodr; June 22nd, 2021 at 04:19 PM.

  10. #4370
    Ominous Shadowy Spoiler Figure Cursed by Fortuna's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Valfodr View Post
    Well, been a while since I've been back. Funny that, huh. Anyways, I'm currently working on a sheet for Saika Magoichi, but I'm running into a few issues regarding skills and Noble Phantasms. Namely, the fact that there realy isn't a lot to go on regarding the exploits of the individual people who held that name, and unfortunately someone else has already done a "three for the price of one" version of him. All I'm left with is either giving him a support type NP based on the general aid that the second Magoichi gave to the Ikko rebellion, an army summon type NP where he lead 3000 gunmen into battle during the Hongan-ji riots, or just straight up basing him off the Nioh 2 Magoichi, complete with Yatagarasu hovering at his shoulder and aiding him in battle(basically, an Archer who fights more like an Assassin with a bit of Caster thrown in for flavor).
    You could also go with the direction of him being "the shadowy leader" of the Mount Hiei warrior monks (who were said to have given Nobunaga a hard time fighting against them as unlike many of his others foes they actually also used firearms rather than just mostly sticking to non-gunpowder based weaponry) as he did pop up there in Nioh 2's campaign and as for the three in one direction, if that's how you want to go about it by all means, I won't even say I myself did the best job of it as in retrospect I wish I maybe did more to flesh out the fact that they are three people acting as one rather than one person with three personalities or selves.
    The Nasuverse: Everything you know about history is wrong, people don't die when they are killed, The Archer class is not filled with Archers, and King Arthur is a Girl.

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  11. #4371
    リビングデッド Living Dead Valfodr's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cursed by Fortuna View Post
    You could also go with the direction of him being "the shadowy leader" of the Mount Hiei warrior monks (who were said to have given Nobunaga a hard time fighting against them as unlike many of his others foes they actually also used firearms rather than just mostly sticking to non-gunpowder based weaponry) as he did pop up there in Nioh 2's campaign and as for the three in one direction, if that's how you want to go about it by all means, I won't even say I myself did the best job of it as in retrospect I wish I maybe did more to flesh out the fact that they are three people acting as one rather than one person with three personalities or selves.
    I could go with that. However, looking it over, I might just stick with basing him off of the second Magoichi, Suzuki Shigehide. The only problem is that the best Noble Phantasms I can come up with are either:
    A) Archer Nobu but even more guns, or

    B) generic Army summon type giving him 3000 rifle-armed minions.

  12. #4372
    Foreigner Sheetematic Universe! DelRey's Avatar
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    i read 'shadowy' and 'guns' and think of a NP that either uses shadows are projectiles or weapons or are used from inside physical shadows
    only so much one can do with pew pew weapon NPs

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  13. #4373
    Lost in Paradise RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DelRey View Post
    i read 'shadowy' and 'guns' and think of a NP that either uses shadows are projectiles or weapons or are used from inside physical shadows
    only so much one can do with pew pew weapon NPs
    Being able to manifest guns from his own shadow (or even other people's) could be a pretty badass ability. Wasn't there a minor villain in Demon Slayer who had a power like that?

  14. #4374
    リビングデッド Living Dead Valfodr's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DelRey View Post
    i read 'shadowy' and 'guns' and think of a NP that either uses shadows are projectiles or weapons or are used from inside physical shadows
    only so much one can do with pew pew weapon NPs
    The problem with that is, by all accounts, none of the men who took the name of Saika Magoichi were particularly shadowy or secretive. Suzuki Sadayu, the first Magoichi, was supposedly a fearsome warrior, though records of his life before being employed by the Hatakeyama clan are basically non-existent. The second Magoichi, Suzuki Shigehide, was rather famous for leading 3000 riflemen into battle during the Hongan-ji riots as well as causing the death of Harada Naomasa. The third and final known Magoichi, Suzuki Shigetomo, was mostly remembered for serving as one of Hideyoshi's generals during the Korean Campaign, as well as serving Date Masamune after the Siege of Hasedo.

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    Foreigner Sheetematic Universe! DelRey's Avatar
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    sounds difficult to work with that aspect. Possible NP sounds like Nobu, but he would be weaker, you dont wanna phantom fusion them apparently, so that makes it hard, but if you do it would seem like another version of Kagekiyo and 42 Ronin approach, or perhaps even Kojiro. What comes to my mind is a Distortion/Nine Lifes like approach that takes your Shigehide and because he is the (i guess) more famous of this mantle, aspects of the others forced into him rather than the spirits themselfes. So he has these three lifes, but losing comes at the cost/benefit of losing aspect of another Saika. So it becomes a theme of dying, losing aspects of yourself and thereby becoming more of yourself. He manifests with this fearsome warrior aspect from the first and the general aspect from the third and his own skills are thereby a bit lowered. With the first death he loses the related skill of one of them, but his own skills rank up. same with the second death.
    I dont know anything except what you told me, so idk how far that idea can go.

    If you dont take this idea, I might use it myself in the future or lend it to another trusted creator who wants it. Sounds like another BnEl15 thing imo.

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  16. #4376
    リビングデッド Living Dead Valfodr's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DelRey View Post
    sounds difficult to work with that aspect. Possible NP sounds like Nobu, but he would be weaker, you dont wanna phantom fusion them apparently, so that makes it hard, but if you do it would seem like another version of Kagekiyo and 42 Ronin approach, or perhaps even Kojiro. What comes to my mind is a Distortion/Nine Lifes like approach that takes your Shigehide and because he is the (i guess) more famous of this mantle, aspects of the others forced into him rather than the spirits themselfes. So he has these three lifes, but losing comes at the cost/benefit of losing aspect of another Saika. So it becomes a theme of dying, losing aspects of yourself and thereby becoming more of yourself. He manifests with this fearsome warrior aspect from the first and the general aspect from the third and his own skills are thereby a bit lowered. With the first death he loses the related skill of one of them, but his own skills rank up. same with the second death.
    I dont know anything except what you told me, so idk how far that idea can go.

    If you dont take this idea, I might use it myself in the future or lend it to another trusted creator who wants it. Sounds like another BnEl15 thing imo.
    It is, although, after perusing Wikipedia for a bit, I am noticing a bit of overlap between all three Magoichi. For instance, both Sadayu and Shigehide lead a troupe of riflemen at the Hongan-ji riots, though Sadayu lead 600 while Shigehide lead 3000. Another example is that, after the destruction of their clan, both Shigehide and Shigemoto were pressed into service as generals for Hideyoshi(Sadayu apparently was too, but some of the other commanders felt he was too risky to keep around and he was forced to commit suicide). It might be workable to fuse all three together as one continuous chronicle, mostly based off of Shigehide.

  17. #4377
    Ominous Shadowy Spoiler Figure Cursed by Fortuna's Avatar
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    @GOJIRA98 As was promised I shall deliver

    Cathrine the Great: Overall I like it, but it has some problems. Most immediate of them is the reference or allusion to Zelrech, as a somewhat avid reader of stuff which uses fate elements for their story I find way too many people make this same mistake, so I'm not going to criticize you for it, but Zelrech really seems to be way, way more hands off than most people think of him as. I get the impression that way too many people read into him pranking others and such and see that as him being more involved in any situation than he really is. To be clear as far as I am aware we only know of 6 or 7 situations where Zelrech actually has ever done anything in the whole setting and I will try to list them (and if you were going for the angle she somehow learned the Tohsaka style of gem craft that's simply not possible as there's no way they would ever teach a foreigner, much less one not in their family those arts under any circumstances).


    1: He witnessed the creation of the Holy Grail (unknown if he was involved in it's creation or just there to see the whole thing through)

    2: He was a tutor and teacher of some extent (although based on his idea of teaching it's hard to say how much they actually learned under him) of Nagato Tohsaka (and rejected the other 2 families as they were inherently evil

    3: He saved Rin in the UBW ending form her trail and took her as a student (which I would guess had probably more to do with the Tohsaka family impressing him by actually competing that "homework" he never expected them to really finish)

    4: He knew Arcueid when she was young and came to witness her birth

    5: He fought the Crimson Moon

    6: He sent the kaleidoscope sticks to resolve the prism Illya affair with his tow students

    7: He involved himself indirectly in hoping to prevent a specific outcome of the Snowfield Grail War which would see the Type Mercury awaken early


    It's worth noting he also basically says that any timeline he focuses on automatically becomes the true one, thus he really can't involve himself too much without problems arising and short of Types getting involved (as even the events of Prisma Illya which basically involves the potential creation of a lostbelt weren't important enough for him to deem that he needed to actually involve himself directly) he basically is the guy in the background. As a result him teaching Cathrine the Great comes off as heavy handed at beast and really, juts padding to try and make her seem more important when really, she doesn't need that hype if written well.

    As for the sheet I would advise on the opening segment spacing out things as you have (I counted) 24 different lines of text without any spacing in-between them which is a little daunting at first glance. Star does seem a little much as not even figures like Gilgamesh have that rank and it's a rare rank plus outside of Russia and the enlightenment I'm not fully sure on how large her impact on humanity was on a whole, but it's not too egregious. However I do have some issues with the sheet itself, first the class skills are all over the place. Cathrine is supposed to be a ruler class, yet she lacks many ruler class skills, if anything she would seem more fit as a Rider Caster double summon than a Ruler. I get why you did ruler, but if you are going to do a class you probably should follow the class skills format to some extent. B rank magic resistance is really high like even for a mage who rejects magical energy (like EMIYA as Archer) I think he had like D rank magic resistance without anything to boost it's effective ranking, I don't think we've ever seen a normal mage show enough magical resistance to resist lesser rituals in story and that seems unlikely at best, so I would maybe make it a D+ or C+ rather than B (unless you're saying it's boosted due to Ruler class, but even then if you wanted to do Rider / Caster fusion you would have to tune it down as Rider's I think are said to have weaker magic resistance on average than the knight classes. Riding at A+ rank is really high, like crazy high for what it is, if it were like "oh she can get animals to do her bidding due her charisma" I could understand it, but even with the riding angle it's rather flimsy as many other rulers have been pictured on Horseback or described as being on horseback (King Arthur), yet have lower riding ranks.



    Gemcraft at B+++ is really, really over the top, under parameter rules B+++ equates to a ranking of 160, even higher than an A++ rank's 150 value (plus rankings are generally conditional, but sometimes they could be just normally always active), but even still I think we have only ever seen skills or Noble Phantasms with 3 plus modifiers like a handful of times ever. Going by the line of canon that a D rank Noble phantasm appears as a B rank personal skill (ie. personal skills parameter ranks are roughly 1/2 that of their equivalent hypothetical rank as a noble phantasm* [something verified by an attack noble phantasm of a C rank being said to be equal to a normal attack [and hypothetically a personal skill] of A or A+ rank, as designed in God Hand's description and I think may have been mentioned by Rin**]). It just comes off as crazy over the top, like really over the top in terms of power scaling of that kinda thing. However those are my only real issues with the main bulk of the sheet before going into the NP section, I think the personality is fine enough, and the lore is clear and concise. I don't really know enough about Russian History to debate Cathrine the Great versus Peter the Great so say who was the more important figure (although I do think Saint Petersburg was named after the guy and I think he was a revolutionary figure in basically creating modern Russia with trade and such), so I'll save that for people who know more bout that than I do.

    * as mentioned and verified in Qin Liangyu's White Shaft Spear NP / personal skill

    ** comparing the old reference to the new math from FGO

    A = 50

    A+ = 100

    C = 30

    50 / 2 = 25 (close enough to 30 to work out math wise as NP parameters being worth about roughly 2 times as much as a normal parameter)


    Finally the NP, I know that NP ranks are highly subjective and as I broke down in a prior post the rules around them are both very stupid and stuff Nasu and his fellow writers themselves either seem to forget or don't care enough about to bother following, (they amount to the rank of something's mystery not it's power), but I will say both of these ranks seem really high. A rank is the same rank as Romulus' fortress wall NP as a normal Lancer, and A++ rank is the same ranking as Excalibur. Even though I like both of the ideas of the NP, the ladder implies it can conditionally reflect an attack of at least A rank if not up to A++ rank, something which even ignoring the whole rank doesn't equal power thing is rather absurd. I know that Leonardo has a similar thing, but I always guessed there were limits on it we don't know about (it can't match Ea or something), and really it comes off as way too much for a servant as young as she is and who while she may have done a lot for her country and helping along it's age of enlightenment (which I'm not even sure if she was directly a part of or if that had more to do with her rule and policies) I'm not sure made a huge impact on the world as a whole.

    As a whole, I like the sheet and it's very ambitious (custom art which is neat), but it also feels like it overreaches in some aspects and comes off as perhaps a touch over the top for what it is.
    The Nasuverse: Everything you know about history is wrong, people don't die when they are killed, The Archer class is not filled with Archers, and King Arthur is a Girl.

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  18. #4378
    リビングデッド Living Dead GOJIRA98's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cursed by Fortuna View Post
    @GOJIRA98 As was promised I shall deliver

    Cathrine the Great: Overall I like it, but it has some problems. Most immediate of them is the reference or allusion to Zelrech, as a somewhat avid reader of stuff which uses fate elements for their story I find way too many people make this same mistake, so I'm not going to criticize you for it, but Zelrech really seems to be way, way more hands off than most people think of him as. I get the impression that way too many people read into him pranking others and such and see that as him being more involved in any situation than he really is. To be clear as far as I am aware we only know of 6 or 7 situations where Zelrech actually has ever done anything in the whole setting and I will try to list them (and if you were going for the angle she somehow learned the Tohsaka style of gem craft that's simply not possible as there's no way they would ever teach a foreigner, much less one not in their family those arts under any circumstances).


    1: He witnessed the creation of the Holy Grail (unknown if he was involved in it's creation or just there to see the whole thing through)

    2: He was a tutor and teacher of some extent (although based on his idea of teaching it's hard to say how much they actually learned under him) of Nagato Tohsaka (and rejected the other 2 families as they were inherently evil

    3: He saved Rin in the UBW ending form her trail and took her as a student (which I would guess had probably more to do with the Tohsaka family impressing him by actually competing that "homework" he never expected them to really finish)

    4: He knew Arcueid when she was young and came to witness her birth

    5: He fought the Crimson Moon

    6: He sent the kaleidoscope sticks to resolve the prism Illya affair with his tow students

    7: He involved himself indirectly in hoping to prevent a specific outcome of the Snowfield Grail War which would see the Type Mercury awaken early


    It's worth noting he also basically says that any timeline he focuses on automatically becomes the true one, thus he really can't involve himself too much without problems arising and short of Types getting involved (as even the events of Prisma Illya which basically involves the potential creation of a lostbelt weren't important enough for him to deem that he needed to actually involve himself directly) he basically is the guy in the background. As a result him teaching Cathrine the Great comes off as heavy handed at beast and really, juts padding to try and make her seem more important when really, she doesn't need that hype if written well.

    As for the sheet I would advise on the opening segment spacing out things as you have (I counted) 24 different lines of text without any spacing in-between them which is a little daunting at first glance. Star does seem a little much as not even figures like Gilgamesh have that rank and it's a rare rank plus outside of Russia and the enlightenment I'm not fully sure on how large her impact on humanity was on a whole, but it's not too egregious. However I do have some issues with the sheet itself, first the class skills are all over the place. Cathrine is supposed to be a ruler class, yet she lacks many ruler class skills, if anything she would seem more fit as a Rider Caster double summon than a Ruler. I get why you did ruler, but if you are going to do a class you probably should follow the class skills format to some extent. B rank magic resistance is really high like even for a mage who rejects magical energy (like EMIYA as Archer) I think he had like D rank magic resistance without anything to boost it's effective ranking, I don't think we've ever seen a normal mage show enough magical resistance to resist lesser rituals in story and that seems unlikely at best, so I would maybe make it a D+ or C+ rather than B (unless you're saying it's boosted due to Ruler class, but even then if you wanted to do Rider / Caster fusion you would have to tune it down as Rider's I think are said to have weaker magic resistance on average than the knight classes. Riding at A+ rank is really high, like crazy high for what it is, if it were like "oh she can get animals to do her bidding due her charisma" I could understand it, but even with the riding angle it's rather flimsy as many other rulers have been pictured on Horseback or described as being on horseback (King Arthur), yet have lower riding ranks.



    Gemcraft at B+++ is really, really over the top, under parameter rules B+++ equates to a ranking of 160, even higher than an A++ rank's 150 value (plus rankings are generally conditional, but sometimes they could be just normally always active), but even still I think we have only ever seen skills or Noble Phantasms with 3 plus modifiers like a handful of times ever. Going by the line of canon that a D rank Noble phantasm appears as a B rank personal skill (ie. personal skills parameter ranks are roughly 1/2 that of their equivalent hypothetical rank as a noble phantasm* [something verified by an attack noble phantasm of a C rank being said to be equal to a normal attack [and hypothetically a personal skill] of A or A+ rank, as designed in God Hand's description and I think may have been mentioned by Rin**]). It just comes off as crazy over the top, like really over the top in terms of power scaling of that kinda thing. However those are my only real issues with the main bulk of the sheet before going into the NP section, I think the personality is fine enough, and the lore is clear and concise. I don't really know enough about Russian History to debate Cathrine the Great versus Peter the Great so say who was the more important figure (although I do think Saint Petersburg was named after the guy and I think he was a revolutionary figure in basically creating modern Russia with trade and such), so I'll save that for people who know more bout that than I do.

    * as mentioned and verified in Qin Liangyu's White Shaft Spear NP / personal skill

    ** comparing the old reference to the new math from FGO

    A = 50

    A+ = 100

    C = 30

    50 / 2 = 25 (close enough to 30 to work out math wise as NP parameters being worth about roughly 2 times as much as a normal parameter)


    Finally the NP, I know that NP ranks are highly subjective and as I broke down in a prior post the rules around them are both very stupid and stuff Nasu and his fellow writers themselves either seem to forget or don't care enough about to bother following, (they amount to the rank of something's mystery not it's power), but I will say both of these ranks seem really high. A rank is the same rank as Romulus' fortress wall NP as a normal Lancer, and A++ rank is the same ranking as Excalibur. Even though I like both of the ideas of the NP, the ladder implies it can conditionally reflect an attack of at least A rank if not up to A++ rank, something which even ignoring the whole rank doesn't equal power thing is rather absurd. I know that Leonardo has a similar thing, but I always guessed there were limits on it we don't know about (it can't match Ea or something), and really it comes off as way too much for a servant as young as she is and who while she may have done a lot for her country and helping along it's age of enlightenment (which I'm not even sure if she was directly a part of or if that had more to do with her rule and policies) I'm not sure made a huge impact on the world as a whole.

    As a whole, I like the sheet and it's very ambitious (custom art which is neat), but it also feels like it overreaches in some aspects and comes off as perhaps a touch over the top for what it is.

    Thanks for the in-depth critique! Yeah I definitely have some things to still figure out, and there are some things that I maybe misunderstood (because honestly, the Fate wiki is a bit of a crapshoot when it comes to conveying all the lore in a manner that’s actually understandable). Like Mana Burst (Gem) B+++ for example, I was under the impression that it just meant it was a really high B, but still below an A, not that it was this insane modifier.

    That being said, I wanna learn more about Jewel Magecraft then, bc it’s a concept I can really see playing out for Catherine in the long run. It’s just a matter of me writing it well enough. How exactly did the Edelphelts get their hands on Jewel Magecraft in that case? Like what’s the in-universe explanation? Did Zelretch just teach them too?

    And as for her Class Skills, I took cues from different FGO Rulers. Not all of them have True Name Discernment or God’s Resolution. That being said I suppose any Ruler from FGO isn’t a “proper” Ruler, and Catherine should have at least True Name Discernment if shes moderating a Holy Grail War.

    All in all though, again I appreciate the deep critique! I’ll definitely apply what I can!

    Edit: also!! I forgot to mention I wasn’t trying to allude to Zelretch teaching her directly. More like, with her connections and political power, she was able to find out about Jewel Magecraft, and she’s more self-taught than anything. Which would probably bring the Rank down a bunch. But I just wanted to clear that part up.
    Last edited by GOJIRA98; June 23rd, 2021 at 12:30 AM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by GOJIRA98 View Post
    Thanks for the in-depth critique! Yeah I definitely have some things to still figure out, and there are some things that I maybe misunderstood (because honestly, the Fate wiki is a bit of a crapshoot when it comes to conveying all the lore in a manner that’s actually understandable). Like Mana Burst (Gem) B+++ for example, I was under the impression that it just meant it was a really high B, but still below an A, not that it was this insane modifier.
    That's techinally not untrue, the main ghist of it is this a plus modifier means that a noble phantasm displays a stronger effect or the it's mystery would be more potent in specific circumstances which basically lets it functionally double (one plus), triple (two plus), or quadruple (three plus) it's effective rank it's effective rank, as such a B+ rank noble phantasm let's say a holy sword would in most normal cases have a weaker mystery than a generic A rank sword noble phantasm with no special effect, however in a specific circumstance*, say when being used against a demon, that holy sword may see an increase in power which would make it's mystery stronger than that of of the A rank sword NP.

    Minus ranks are essentially the inverse where a noble phantasm has a rank, but in has downsides or in some cases may show an amount of mystery lower than it's normal rank would imply (although I rarely use minus ranks so forgive me if I'm mistaken on this)

    * I find it helpful to think of it like weapons in a video game or a tabletop game such as a dragonslayign sword which has additional power against dragons or such.



    Quote Originally Posted by GOJIRA98 View Post
    That being said, I wanna learn more about Jewel Magecraft then, bc it’s a concept I can really see playing out for Catherine in the long run. It’s just a matter of me writing it well enough. How exactly did the Edelphelts get their hands on Jewel Magecraft in that case? Like what’s the in-universe explanation? Did Zelretch just teach them too?
    Jewel magecraft I don't think is something that Zelrech originally discovered (although he does seem to use and know it), from what I can see a fair number of mages seem to use and know their way around the usage of gems and Jewels, some even being able to use them to make artificial mystic eyes (so it's not like it's some secret magecraft only one family knows of, although certain families may have certain spells or techniques unique to them).

    You could just say Cathrine the Great learned somewhere or that given the Russian families' traditions of very unique and rare treasures that Jewelcraft may have been something their family picked up centuries back (given how a lot of noble families would generally try to marry other nobles and the behaviors of the Hapsburgs you could make the argument that they may have been Magi hiding in plain sight) and that Cathrine the great simply was very talented with her families' craft.

    Alternatively given how rich the Edelfelt's are as well as Cathrine the Great originally being from Germany (which the northern part of was originally also part of Scandinavia), you could maybe claim that her family and the Edelfelts may have crossed paths at some point (possibly with her having some manner of actual genetic relation with them or a common ancestor) or that she may have some manner of relationship with them, with the Edelfelts using her as a source of finance and political power and in return offering her some information on jewelcraft (obviously not their family techniques, but the basics on the techqieu and how it is performed and such).


    Quote Originally Posted by GOJIRA98 View Post
    And as for her Class Skills, I took cues from different FGO Rulers. Not all of them have True Name Discernment or God’s Resolution. That being said I suppose any Ruler from FGO isn’t a “proper” Ruler, and Catherine should have at least True Name Discernment if shes moderating a Holy Grail War.

    All in all though, again I appreciate the deep critique! I’ll definitely apply what I can!
    I actually must have missed that point in FGO, honestly Ruler isn't my favorite class in general just because it's class skills are so tailored for the grail war that outside them they just don't seem to fit well. I suppose you could also just go with the angle that True name discernment and God's resolution just have an N/A or _ rank unless she is specifically summoned for a grail war.
    Last edited by Cursed by Fortuna; June 23rd, 2021 at 03:24 PM.
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    リビングデッド Living Dead GOJIRA98's Avatar
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    Catherine the Great is from Germany, not Finland. Tho if she were originally Finnish, I’d make her an Edelphelt relative in a second lmao. But yeah, Catherine’s a little less developed than some of my other fanservants, just bc she’s the most recent addition to the cast (aside from Momotaro). So this gives me a lot of good material to make her even better.
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