Let me preface this with review with a statement that I agree with your assessment that David was sorely done dirty by FGO's writers. That said, your version also has several significant pitfalls that prevent me from liking it.
I'm inclined to agree with Royd on this one (le shock). Going the way of blobbing Hayk together with David seems to me a disservice to both these legends. David as "the holy warrior" strikes me as someone who can make a standalone Servant, same with Hayk. Their combination doesn't really bring anything "new" to the table, so to speak, unlike the blobbing we see in Hessian Lobo.Archer – David-Hayk
This I agree with. The stock David suffers much from trying to cover all the bases of David's life within a single Servant.Archer is a rare kind of servant in that instead of holding merley 1 period able to be marked as the pinnacle of his existence where he would manifest as a servant, he instead holds three separate periods able to be considered as such “David the Pure Youth” “David the Holy Warrior” and “David the King” each able to be described as a pinnacle of his existence and an existence able to be summoned in it’s own right. This distinction is also perhaps a reflection of a greater parallel of circumstances and details between the story of Jesus and that of David’s own, both being described as having three distinct phases of their life, suffering betrayal from an ally, exorcising spirits, and being forced to undergo many trials in life.
This is the most offensive thing in this sheet for me. Firstly, why would God's vice-regent on earth (as you keep reminding the reader in the Skills and Noble Phantasm section) badmouth... God's vice-regent on earth? Well, one answer would be because the former was running on the conception of "politics" peddled by the swindlers and charlatans we call """Enlightenment philosophers""".In opposition to most Christian servants Archer thinks rather poorly of the Church as an institution and it’s high ups oft calling them “devils in white robes”, although given the greater context of perversion and abuse of the faith for monetary gains, repeated abuse of power by sitting officials, the questionable conduct of the exorcists, and the flagrant use of the Church, the Lord’s teachings, and the Papacy for political purposes perhaps this should not come as a surprise.
Politics, as seen in the Bible, is an activity of the divine. We see it when God creates the world, ordering the earlier creations to the service of the higher. We see it when He arbitrates between Cain and Abel. We see it when He decides to warn Noah about the flood He is about to send. We see it God promising Abraham land, a family, and a blessing. Note that in these incidents, God's action has a purpose, an end (unlike the actions of our current political leaders). This "end", as our best friend Tommy Aqua says, is "to live according to virtue".
David, like Samuel, Joshua, and Moses before him, only participate in this divine action; in other words, their political powers and responsibilities are derived from, and ought to mirror, that of God. That is, David also has the responsibility of leading his people to virtue, not unlike how a shepherd leads his sheep. Well, surprise surprise, that's the Pope's job too! Otherwise he'd look quite ridiculous for claiming the title Pastor Bonus. All this is to say that disliking the Church for being "politicized" is a patently incorrect notion because the Church has been from the moment of its conception political.
But whatevs.Why invert the sacrament clause of David's Magic Resistance?Magic Resistance [A+]- Nullifies spells of A Rank or below, at this level modern mages would not be able to harm Archer. Even the arts of the Church ordinarily a blindspot for heroic spirits are ineffective due to David’s divinity granting him protection from “arts utilized by an intuition of worship honoring the Christ” thus rendering them useless against him.None of the things you mentioned feel particularly Pioneer of the Stars-worthy to me tee-bee-eff.Pioneer of the Stars [EX]- A rare skill associated with those who have become turning points in human history by performing feats deemed “difficult” or “impossible” into “events that can be realized”. David who was ordained and prophesied as the future king of Jerusalem was tasked with the impossible tasks of overcoming Goliath, surviving and outlasting Saul’s anger, and so forth. In succeeding in doing so David achieved what was prophesied and would continue the bloodline which would result in the birth of the Christ a millennia later.This is quite possibly the "stop stop he's already dead" moment for me. You said from the outset of this sheet that you wanted to "fix" the presentation of David in FGO. It is highly ironic, then, that by explicitly leaning on the connection between the sword David obtained from Goliath and the sword Galahad uses, you fall into the trap of another Servant who got done dirty by FGO's writers (and one who debuted in the same singularity, no less): Hektor. Hektor's sheet fails because his NP's are literally just reskins of Durandal (among other things). Doing the same thing here also has the same effect of diluting the actual deeds of David. Also, I don't agree with the Galahad bashing, as Royd said (le shock times two).The Sword of Strange Hangings, Guidance from God - EXDoes this really need to be an NP? You could've just said something like "Archer is David from when he was attempting to wrest the kingship from Saul, so he conceptually attracts great hardships and trials to his person" and left it at that.Path to Jerusalem, The Lord’s Trials - BWhy is this in Latin? "Abun d'bashmayo" is Aramaic, and probably the closest you can get to Hebrew. Also you could've just reinterpreted Hamesh Avanim along these lines, no need for the unnecessary pussy-footing.Oratio Dominica
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Originally Posted by Cursed by Fortuna
