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Thread: Create-A-Servant 3

  1. #10561
    I can't believe it's not Rider! DesReploid's Avatar
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    I'll preface anything I say by mentioning that I had no idea who Tokugawa Tsunayoshi was, up until doing a bit of speed-research right now.

    So, regarding the sheet: I'll be honest, I don't like it. Because even just speed reading a few articles showed me that there was so much more that could have gone into the sheet than what there actually is. What you did write is okay, but there are some things that seem a bit off just at a glance, for example, when I first read the sheet I had no idea why this guy would be a Berserker, initially I thought maybe Saber since you made his NP a sword or Caster because it's a blanket class that can fit a lot of nobles. After reading a little about him, I would concur that Berserker is absolutely a good fit for him, given his general kind of manic behaviour, but those are things that could have been in the sheet to enhance it.

    Also, Innocent Monster and Mad Enhancement, the way they are brought in here, I would say, are a bit redundant, because all both state is in essence: "He acts and looks like a Shiba Inu". Instead, for example, the flavour text space in Mad Enhancement could have been used to talk about his very strict beliefs and religious mania that, in part, seems to have driven him to what he did, whereas the Innocent Monster skill's space could have been used to explain more about his laws on dogs directly.

    There was more to this guy than just "He likes dogs, like a lot", but that's kind of what this sheet boils down to. As far as I understand this man was responsible of accidentally making smuggling a big thing in Japan, he banned prostitution and women working in tea houses in an attempt to raise living standard and the fact that his protection laws for dogs actually ended up having severe bad consequences is mentioned nowhere. Also, perhaps this is just a personal thing, but I just find it odd that the name of the edicts that contained those animal protection laws, the "Edicts on Compassion for Living Things", is omitted from the sheet. Would have been a killer name for an NP me thinks.

    Overall, there's just a lot more that could have been done here and it would have made the sheet much better as a result.
    《 ~~ ★ ~~ ★ ~~ ★ ~~ ★ ~~ 》

    My Servant Compendium

    Recent Servants:


    《 ~~ ★ ~~ ★ ~~ ★ ~~ ★ ~~ 》

  2. #10562
    不死 Undead
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    There are few sheets on the forum lately. If things go like this, then only my concepts will be on the forum, which is not so good. There are some servant ideas, some from Great war of Heroes

    Nicolas-Joseph Cugnot (Rider, inventor of the automobile and the first to cause a car accident)

    Naresuan the Great (Rider or Archer, King of Siam)

    Elfego Baka (Archer or Berserker)

    Lev Theremin (Caster or Foreigner, he created the theremin)

    Stephen Hawking (Caster or Raider)

    Jacques-Yves Cousteau (Foreigner, why not)

    Auguste Piccard (Rider, uses Trieste bathyscaphe)

    George Levick (Caster, penguin diary. Considering it's Antarctica... it's fine to use the penguins from Lovecraft's story)

  3. #10563
    死徒(上級)Greater Dead Apostle Alexcoene's Avatar
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    There's plenty damn sheets on the Forum, as the '3' in the thread title subtly indicate. And again, there's a dedicated thread for Servant ideas. Plus no, it's actually not fine to shoehorn Lovecraft and Foreigner in every random sheet for no reason at all.

  4. #10564
    不死 Undead
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    I heard someone write about burnout. It's better to submit an idea so that someone can overcome burnout.

  5. #10565
    死徒(上級)Greater Dead Apostle Alexcoene's Avatar
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    Again, we have a dedicated thread for them, so use it if you don't want "only your concepts on the forum", whatever that means. It's right in the first post.
    Last edited by Alexcoene; December 1st, 2022 at 01:12 PM.

  6. #10566
    不死 Undead
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    I will know, thanks

  7. #10567
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    Class: Avenger
    Other Classes: N/A
    True Name: Giles Corey
    Alignment: Lawful Good
    Place of Origin: America (17th Century)
    Stars: 4/5

    Parameters:

    STR: D
    END: A
    AGI: C
    MGI: B
    LCK: C
    NP: B

    Height: 183cm
    Weight: 91lbs
    Likes: Peace
    Dislikes: Fanaticism
    Talent: Vowing revenge
    Natural Enemy: Abigail Williams, Isabel I
    Attribute: Earth
    Traits: Male, Humanoid, Wraith, Weak to Enuma Elish
    Armament: N/A
    Catalyst: A worn stone, appearing to have been used to crush someone

    Class Skills:

    Oblivion Correction B: He will never forget his vengeance, no matter what.

    Self-Replenishment (Mana) B: His mana will surge until his vengeance has been fulfilled.

    Avenger C: As a victim caught within the witch trials,m hatred will be diverted towards him.

    Personal Skills:

    Battle Continuation B: Through getting crushed by heavier, heavier, and massive stones, he held firm, even asking for more weight until his death, finally crushed. A skill which allows him to fight through the pain no matter how hard it gets, even ignoring a complete spiritual core destruction for a short time.

    Witchcraft (False) E: He was never a witch, but the belief that he was has granted him a few abilities of magecraft, mostly classic "witch" ones like charm spells, fireballs, levitation, and commanding cats/bats....

    The Curse Of Giles Corey A: The sublimation of the curse he placed on Salem which resulted in three hundred years of ailing sheriffs. The ability to place a curse, causing withering, aging, and weakening on the target.

    Noble Phantasm(s):

    Regret Your Sins, Oh Salem
    My Hatred Shall Be Your Scourge


    Type: Anti-Fortress
    Rank: C
    Range: 100 meters
    Max Targets: 20000

    The sublimation of the Great Fire of Salem in 1914. Although he died long before this, his apparation was seen pacing his graveyard the day before the fire, as it was seen before many other calamities and catastrophes in Salem. Thus, this anecdote ties the two together. It passively grants him the ability to control fire. In addition, his very presence increases the likelyhood of a danger or issue happening. When its true name is called, Regret Your Sins unleashes a titanic flame, spreading incredibly rapidly. Any being hit by it begins to feel crushed, fire covering the chest and pushing down as it burns them away, akin to his death by pressing. In addition, it bears higher power against any being who ever framed anyone for a crime.

    Lore: Giles Corey (1611-1692) was a farmer from Salem during the witch trials. He was accused of witchcraft. However, he refused to enter a plea of guilty or not guilty, for with either he would die and his property would be seized, while without a plea he was crushed under stones but his property could be kept by his family. He was crushed, never pleading, asking for more weight. He placed a curse on salem that supposedly lead to years of destruction and havoc.

    Personality: A bitter and resentful person. He hates fanatics of any type, as well as greedy leaders. He tends to prefer talking to those who were placed in similar situations as him, and will avoid nobility and those he regards as "spoiled". His wish is to wipe the Witch Trial from history.

    Relationships:

    Abigail Williams: "You! You kickstarted it, didn't you?"

    Isabel I: "Fanaticism is never right."

    Lubna: "An entire seperate person, erased?"

    Anna Akhmatova: "These atrocities continued from long after I died."

  8. #10568
    夜魔 Nightmare Baron Magnus's Avatar
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    hello! Been a while! So before I get started on Hermes Trismegistus for the contest i figured I'd drop what i've been working on. I considered reworking it but ultimately decided to leave as is to focus on the other sheet. Even so the only thing i was quibbling over was the characterization. I'm fine with his parameters, skills, and noble phantasm. Enjoy my take on Glooscaps brother Malsumis!

    Creation and Destruction. A cycle found in most myths. This is because many cultures understood its significance.



    Even the myths of those cultures whose primitive roots remained strong even recently understood the need for such cycles
    I am servant Caster. Tell me, master, what is it you truly desire?



    Sources
    ByGuru-fduser, Dr-stone.Fandom.Com.
    EGGS, Typemoon.Fandom.Com.


    True Name
    Malsumis

    Class
    Caster

    Origin
    Wabanaki Mythology

    Alignment
    Chaotic-Good

    Likes
    Cities, Technology, Watching People, Humans, Progress.

    Dislikes
    Nature and Humanity

    Talents
    Destroying Textures and Halting Good

    Natural Enemy
    Glooscap

    Other Classes
    Berserker, Foreigner, Gatekeeper

    Catalyst
    A place in America where nature is destroyed on a massive scale almost instantly

    Armaments
    none


    Parameters

    Str
    C
    End
    C
    Agi
    B
    Mna
    A+
    Lck
    C
    NP
    EX


    Lore

    Tabaldak was an emissary of the Great Spirit. He made the garden that humanity would live and thrive in. However circumstances forced him to leave. However he left behind two powerful brothers to manage the garden. He named one 'Painter of the Good World', Glooscap. The other brother he named Malsumis, 'Pruner of the Garden'. Their roles assigned he departed and they set about their work.

    At first they worked efficiently and methodically. The garden was maintained and all within flourished beautifully. Glooscap would color the landscape and shape the wildlife and he would destroy and prune whatever was unnecessary. One day he came across animals that seemed to be creating things themselves. Initially he decried them as impudent copycats and pruned the more clever bunch.

    Yet as time went on he pruned less and less as even pruning the clever ones did not abate the mimicry they exhibited. He eventually discovered why. His brother taught them things. How to build shelters to protect from rain and snow and even the harsh sun. He gave them knowledge on how to weave clothes to allow for a more comfortable existence. He even witnessed them learn how to make tools without his brothers aid.

    Then he witnessed them learn more. They hunted with the weapons using self-made strategems. Their shelters grew more elaborate to be multi-functional. He even saw the clothing begin to take useless traits such as 'fashion'. Endeared with what he saw he took their guise and walked among them for a time, curious as to their nature. So for a time he lived among them as another human.

    Eventually that changed. Glooscap arrived at the village one day and demanded tribute and a few human sacrifices. He was upset and wanted to know why so he followed Glooscap and saw something horrifying. He saw his brother reshaping the humans into animals and forcing them to become family to a pack of animals. The blood in the area told him why but he could not abide by it. He abandoned his human guise that night, searched out the animals, and pruned them accordingly.

    His brother was angered, claiming he was disrupting the balance of the garden. He countered saying that Glooscap had done that the prior night by kidnapping humans and forcing them to become mere otters. Their argument grew heated and eventually said something he'd later come to regret. He claimed the animals had only died because of Glooscaps negligence in guiding the animals of the garden.

    After this exchange Glooscap began to manage the garden authoritatively. He set rules for humans to abide by and made sure animals followed their own rules. Any that did not comply were slated to be pruned, meaning he had to kill the noncompliant as a matter of course. He hated it however. Every life he culled he felt a bit more of himself slipping, especially when it was a human.

    As time went on he desired the destruction of the garden more. Eventually he began to undertake several schemes in an attempt to do so with the intent of either freeing the humans or scorching the earth so new life could rise in its place. Each plan however was summarily overcome by his brother, who never took action against him.

    One day he came up with a vicious plot and set it up. He planned to use the very land itself to destroy the texture keeping humanity inside. He worked to set towers that would suck up leylines and enact spells to disrupt the texture. If enough time passed with even one intact the texture would collapse, dumping all within the garden into the world. As he suspected, as his plan was underway, his brother caught wind of it and began to stop it.

    Unlike before, where he never directly confronted him, he did this time. At each tower he appeared and attempted to stop him. At first with words and after the second tower action. Eventually he stopped holding back. His efforts slowed Glooscap down enough that once they arrived at the final tower he had all but won. However Glooscap revealed a fact.

    He could not stop the emptying of the texture. However he revealed that he had used his magic brush to preserve a copy of the texture, preventing total destruction. He had done this with the intent of humanity one day returning to the garden when it could live as one with nature. He was furious at this plan. He announced his direct opposition to it and intended to give all life its freedom. They then did battle once more.

    He lost as he suspected he might but his plan was complete. The garden was too damaged to allow life to continue existing and so all would join the greater world. However he knew his brothers plan also worked. The texture had, ultimately, been preserved and would slowly repair itself. Someday humanity could return to it with his brothers blessing.

    However he knew one thing his brother lacked. Experience with humanity. He had faith that even if they were not one with nature they would overcome his brother and enter such a sanctum anyway. Even overthrowing his brother if needed. With those thoughts Malsumis suffered his final defeat.

    Class Skills

    Territory Creation
    D

    One of the primary skills of the caster class. It allows them to recreate workshops that they utilized in life. However he had a somewhat antithetical existence to this skill. He did not utilize magecraft like normal humans and instead utilized divine power granted by both his divine core and his existence as a divine spirit. As such he has this skill at a lower rank.

    Even so this skill is high enough that he can set up a campground. Spells to ward off beasts, spells to hide the glow and smoke of a fire, and spells to hide tracks. He can set up numerous bounded fields and traps to alert those in his party should an ambush be attempted. Only a caster of proficient strength or one holding magic resistance above this skill can prevent the traps from affecting them. There is no preventing the alarms as he mixes magical and physical alarms such as stringed bones or familiars that shriek when spotting unauthorized persons.

    Item Construction
    D

    The primary skill of casters normally. However it is one he rarely practiced. Rather it was always merely a curiosity to him. As such its rank is degraded. He cannot create great mystic codes but he can craft some. Specifically mystic codes that reflect aspects of his divinity. When receiving the benefits of his noble phantasm this skill effectively allows for degraded replications of anything his brother created. The miraculous life-giving water or the wish-granting ointments.

    Divine Core of Destruction
    B

    A skill held by gods and divine spirits. He is of the latter category made by a legitimate god who was an emissary of a being named 'the Great Spirit'. As a divine spirit he was imparted with a divine core to do his duty; To prune the garden so Glooscap could nurture what remains. However he denied his nature for a long time and still does to an extent. As such its rank is degraded.

    This skill grants him a restrained authority, a skill, and divinity at an equal rank to this skill. This means he has a significant boost to his natural defenses and he also has greater strength when bypassing defenses. Normally his authority would allow him to decay anything he touches but as he is actively restraining his authority against humans it instead simply becomes an authority that prevents any defense of an equal or lesser rank than this skill from influencing the damage his attacks cause.

    Even the divinity of the mighty Gilgamesh and Cu Chulainn, both demigods, cannot aid them in defending against his strikes. Such is the authority he wields with this divine core.

    This divine core also contains the skill Divine Power at an equal rank allowing him to remotely manipulate his implements with his divine power akin to telekinesis. He can even strike with enough force as though he were holding the implement himself.


    Personal Skills

    Nature's End
    B

    A skill denoting the servants desire and purpose in destroying life itself. As the pruner of the garden and eventually its destroyer he represents destruction in nature. Even though his initial role was simply pruning life that had gone on too long, he took his role to its logical extreme and scale. Yet he rescinds this purely for humans, reducing its true strength considerably.

    At his rank the damage output from his spells and strikes increases tremendously against nature but also reduce harshly against humanity. A simple flash of flame is enough to reduce an entire mile of nature to ash but when done in a city it can barely scorch asphalt. A gale of wind will uproot even mighty tree's but a poorly built shack won't even rattle a bit.

    This, naturally, extends to servants. Any with ties to humans gain resistance depending on the strength of their ties with the greatest becoming outright immune to most but his strongest spells, all without considering magic resistance. Nature servants however such as forest spirits and gods will find themselves taking far more damage than normal from even basic spells and their magic resistance, should any exist, be lacking.

    Self-Modification
    A

    A skill that allows the servant to modify their saint graph. Depending on the means the changes can range from a simple change of appearance to becoming an animal. Even unnatural alterations such as a sword for a hand or becoming an alien can be possible with the correct knowledge and methodology. However as a god of nature he is restricted to earthly elements and methods.

    Even so at their rank many alterations are possible. He can become any species both phantasmal, divine, and extinct. Even becoming a dragonkin is possible with this skill. Normally he would need knowledge on what he is transforming but as a god he has knowledge of every creature that lived within the Garden. Even the few dragons that called it home.

    Personality

    Malsumis, despite his reputation, is not entirely 'evil'. Extreme is a better descriptor. As his existence revolves around destruction. From his destruction of nature as the pruner of the garden, to the pruner of humans, to eventually seeking the destruction of the garden. He is, in a way, destruction incarnate. Yet he does not seek meritless destruction and explicitly hates it.

    While his value of nature has greatly diminished, viewing it only as a necessity for humanity to thrive, he adores humans and wishes only that they continue to thrive. Any destruction met upon them he will seek to prevent. Even should it come by his own hand.

    However despite his infatuation with humans he finds himself at odds with them. Rather he dislikes their view of nature. He believes they should view it as he does; merely a tool to progress that must be cultivated to ensure prosperity. Not something to be worshiped and admired.

    To this end he often studies whatever era he is in to see if humanity has grown beyond it and if disappointed will naturally wish for it to end should he acquire a grail. In a modern age however his view changes completely. He will seek to aid humanity in eschewing flesh for immortal, robotic, bodies so that nature might be done away with entirely.

    Naturally his relationship with his brother is at an all time low due to their past and current beliefs. His brother believes nature and man should live in harmony. He believes man is superior to nature and its master. Naturally, should they be summoned in the same war, they will clash. First with words, then implements, and finally spells and schemes.

    His reaction to his master is usually somewhat apathetic. Not in that he has no feelings regarding them but that their alignment means nothing to him. Whether they are evil or good he treats them the same. He encourages their progress and individuality. Rather the masters that are collectivists rub him the wrong way and draw his ire. Yet his love of humanity drives him to attempt to correct the behavior.

    Despite his distaste for nature and humanity's worship of it he seemingly is fine with artwork and artists that work on landscapes. Interestingly he even has a few pieces he finds beautiful himself. He claims it is because it was made by human hands, though each hold one common trait. They depict some sort of rolling grasslands blessed by sunlight.


    Interactions

    Master
    Magecraft is quite interesting, master. As a god I have the power of nature at my fingertips. Yet you humans managed to at least replicate such a power through this magecraft. Truly, you humans are splendid. I can only encourage you all continue to ascend. Keep going until you truly escape this garden called Earth

    Glooscap
    Tsk. My foolish brother who would chain humanity to rotting logs. Leave now, it is pointless. As in the past I shall prevail. Your presence will only hinder humanity and risk their ascension. So begone, foolish brother who cannot understand the beauty of human progress.

    Squanto
    An interesting fellow you are. One who stands on the boundary. Between humanity's future and nature's past. You must pick, mortal. Shall you embrace progress or shall you shackle yourself to the rot of yesterday?

    Wendigo
    A curse from humanity... or perhaps nature? It matters not for a curse is a curse regardless of source. Normally I'd ignore a curse... but as one that preys on humanity I cannot abide your presence!

    Moowis
    Hmm. What a problem. Made by humans to be a tool yet given life... humans can be so cruel in the name of progress. However that is over. As this you are among them... so find your progress, young human. Advance further and further into the future.


    Noble Phantasms

    I am the schemer who destroyed the painter... so witness now the scheme that ended the good world!
    The Ever-Changing Scheme of Malsumis


    Type
    Anti-Unit

    Rank
    EX


    The crystallization of his greatest act. His scheme to destroy of the Garden Texture created by Tabaldak for humanity's future. It took him multiple encounters with Glooscap and understanding his power and the nature of the texture to come up with a scheme to destroy it. All that planning that defeated the Painter of the Good World is subliminated into this noble phantasm. However he must activate it with its true name. Until then it simply is a inactive noble phantasm.

    This noble phantasm acts as a combination of various skills and spells that allow him several beneficial functions with an end result being high-levels of Future Sight. He processes things practically instantaneously, he can utilize parallel thinking, he has in depth knowledge of several subjects and techniques, and he can utilize magecraft to enhance his natural senses. He can also utilize his capabilities as a god to further enhance his mental faculties.

    This combination grants him a unique capability to, second by second, evaluate his current position and adjust any plan he has to meet his end goals as well as predict the outcome of his and others actions within a 15% margin of error. Even something as delicate as the angle of a sword swing by a top-rate servant is perceptible and predictable to him even should they have a skill that obscures it.

    Not because he can familiarize himself with their fighting style but because he sees and processes his environment so fast while this noble phantasm is active that he can simple predict the sword swing as it happens and react accordingly. The skill that makes the style vague will prevent him from retaining his predictions once he deactivates this noble phantasm.

    Once deactivated his brain does not merely slow down. For up to an hour afterward he benefits from the effect of Wisdom of Predicament and Instinct at an equivalent rank. In essence it allows him to prepare for future problems that he may encounter through Item Construction. However unlike its true name activation he will not necessarily understand why such things will be helpful. Further if he does not complete a construction by the end of the hour he will fail to grasp the rest of construction and it will simply become a mystic code that may or may not be helpful the effects of which he is not quite certain of.
    Rookie Lorekeeper, Amateur Extraordinaire, and all around nasunoob.




  9. #10569
    祖 Ancestor
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    Source: Destiny Child

    Class: Avenger
    Other Classes: N/A
    True Name: Anne Boleyn
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Place of Origin: England (16th Century)
    Stars: 5/5

    Parameters:

    STR: A
    END: C
    AGI: C
    MGI: C
    LCK: D
    NP: B

    Height: 195cm
    Weight: 20lbs
    Likes: Peace, calmness
    Dislikes: Traitors
    Talent: Serving as Queen Consort of England
    Natural Enemy: Anne of Kleves, any English regnant monarch besides her daughter
    Attribute: Earth
    Traits: Female, Weak to Enuma Elish, Undead, Humanoid, Combination, Avian
    Armament: The Ravens
    Catalyst: A portrait of her, a Cage of the Ravens

    Class Skills:

    Oblivion Correction A: A mind of grudges that will never fade.

    Avenger A: Grudges pile themselves onto her easily.

    Self-Replenishment (Mana) B: Her grudges constantly fuel her mana, endlessly replenishing until they are fulfilled.

    Personal Skills:

    The Most Happy C: Her motto of "The Most Happy" sublimated into a skill. In a relatively normal state, this would merely bring happy memories and joy which cleanses the mind. However, as an Avenger, these memories and joy merely twist her, pushing her focus further and further towards revenge as she begins to maniacally cackle.

    Wraith Step B: The sublimation of her status as a famed ghost after her death. The ability to shift into a form halfway between spiritual and material: intangible but still visible, capable of sensing, and seeing everything around. In addition, in this state, passing through anything will paralyze them for a short time. In addition, her head can detach at her will, serving as a seperate entity.

    Church is the State A: The sublimation of the split between the Catholic church and the Church of England of which one of the major causes was Avenger herself. The ability to gain power against figures associated with religion of any kind, whether they be deities, priests, or even leaders of things such as Theosophy.

    Noble Phantasm(s):

    Soar Away, Fallen Raven
    Doom To All England


    Type: Anti-Army
    Rank: B
    Range: 10 meters
    Max Targets: Infinite

    The sublimation of the spirits stabilizing her in this current state, the Ravens of the Tower of England, which manifest as a flock endlessly swirling around her, as well as the combined idea of her curse placed on her death and the idea that if there are no ravens in the Tower of London, England will fall. When the true name is called, she sprouts wings of shadow and soars higher over a location, the ravens bursting into explosions of darkness as she swoops down in the form of a falcon of shadow.

    Lore: Anne Boleyn was the Queen Consort of england as the second wife of Henry VIII and held great amounts of power during her reign, after Henry divorced Catherine of Aragon and seperated the Church of England because the Pope would not allow the marriage to be annulled. She was later executed by Henry under false allegations so that he could marry Jane Seymour.

    Personality: In her normal state, she would be relatively elegant and dignified. However, in this state, it is more of a facade, as she is more crazed, obsessed with causing destruction, especially to Monarchs, while crazedly laughing the entire time. Her wish is to destroy all forms of monarchy, which makes her easily prefer the current age.

    Relationships:

    Catherine of Aragon: "I.... I'm truly sorry... my actions... they merely caused pain for me, pain for you, pain for the kingdom...."

    Anne of Kleves: "Lucky, lucky, lucky lucky lucky. Someone that lucky needs to be punished, don't you think?"

    Louis XI: "The... divine right of kings? The right of kings? HAHAHA! You shall die, and your legacy shall be destroyed."

    Pope Julius II: "The church is... extremely destructive, isn't it? Almost... A monarchy!"

    Yeongsangun: "The monarchy is so utterly flawed, isn't it?"

  10. #10570
    死者 Corpse Dr. Walker & Mr. Gear's Avatar
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    The oaths, the battles, parties, laughts, none of that mattered…you just abandoned me here…in the hell


    First Ascension


    Second Ascension

    Third Ascension

    Final Ascension








    Class:
    Avenger
    Other Classes: Rider, Lancer
    True Name: Pirithous
    Alignment: Chaotic Evil
    Place of Origin: Greece (Thessaly)
    Source: Greek Mythology

    Parameters

    STR:
    B
    END: B
    AGI: C
    MGI: D
    LCK: E
    NP: B


    Height: 185 cm
    Weight: 89 Kg
    Likes: Persephone, The Lapiths, ¿Theseus?
    Dislikes: “Theseus…”, “HERACLES”, false hopes, friendship
    Talent: Fight with beasts
    Natural Enemy: Theseus and Heracles
    Attribute: Man
    Traits: Humanoid, Argo-Related, Greek Mythology Male, Weak to Enuma Elish
    Armament: His fists and chains
    Catalyst: An old and cracked vase of the lapiths




    Class Skills

    Avenger (C++)

    A class skill representing the state of an Avenger as one that gathers people's hatreds and grudges onto oneself. As ones whose purpose is fueled by such negative emotions, the rate of mana generation increases when receiving damage.
    The modifier is due to "Prisoner of the Underworld", which helps deflect more negative feelings towards him.
    Oblivion Correction (A)
    An Avenger Class Skill. People are creatures that forget many things, but an Avenger never forgets. The critical effect of Avengers who attack from beyond one's memory is strengthened.
    It’s impossible for Avenger forget the good times, the betrayal, and the eternal torture to which The Lord of the Riches sentenced him.
    Self-Replenishment of Mana (C)
    Class Skill of the Avenger class. One's Magical Energy endlessly surges until their revenge is accomplished. Recovers a minuscule amount of magical energy every turn.
    Divinity (X)
    This skills is sealed due the effects of “Húbris Hamartia”




    Personal Skills

    Prisoner of the Underworld (EX)

    It’s possible to see this skil l as a terrible combination of “At the Boundary” and “Paranoia”. The whole aura around him causes a sensasion of death and sorrow to all around him.
    Unfortunately to Avenger, this skill provoques him to constantly hallucinations about the tortures of the underworld, after all, is a doomed spirit of there.
    When he is summoned as a Servant, the skill would be degrade to A-, but the Noble Phantasm “Aidoneus Alysídes”, it helps keep it in rank EX.
    Húbris Hamartia (C)
    The excessive pride to resulting in the disfavor of the gods. The body of Avenger is cursed, and rejects (or reduces) the effect of a divine blessings.
    A skill that can come useful under the right circumstances
    Torture Technique (Self-taught) (D)
    The skill to reproduce the own torment in others. Avenger finds himself strangely proud of what he learned from his "teachers", the Erinyes.




    Noble Phantasm



    Aidoneus Alysídes
    “This is a lonely punishment”


    Type: Anti-Unit
    Rank: B
    A set of chains that spring from the shackles on Avenger's wrists, these are his main method of attack and represent his status as a prisioner. No matter how much they are destroyed, will continue to regenerate as long as the shackles are not destroyed.
    When Avenger calls his name, the chains latch onto a target and judge their sins. The greater the degree of heresy, greater the pain that will be felt.




    Peiríthoos Exapolýsei

    “The suffering never ends, only just start again”

    Type: Anti-Group
    Rank: A
    “Heracles tries to break the Pirithous binds, but the earth shakes suddenly”
    The autority of Hades, engraved in the Saint Graph of Avenger. It’s possible to see this as the last resort of the god of the underworld, one who will show his anger for the freedom of Pirithous.
    Upon the destruction of "Aidoneus Alysídes", this Heroic Treasure automatically triggers, turning Avenger into a curse bomb within seconds, shaking the earth and infecting those in the surrounding area with the miasma of the underworld.
    For the rest of the Grail War, the Servants affected won’t only be surrounded by terrible hallucinations of Tartarus, but will also receive a penalty to their Luck, Endurance, and Magic stats, reducing them two ranges.




    Lore


    The son of Ixion and Dia, the young king of the Lapiths, the uncle of the centaurs, the best friend of Theseus and finally, one of the many souls condemned to spend the eternity in the underworld.
    That’s Pirithous.
    After a long life of adventuring with his trusty companions and his best friend, he paid the price for his arrogance in attempting to kidnap Persephone.
    Hades tied him and Theseus to some pillars and left them in the hands of the Erinyes. It was not until the passage of Heracles during his twelfth labor that he saw the light in the darkness.
    A light that went out like the flame of a candle, while he saw his best friend being carried away by Heracles and leaving him in the company of the Furies.




    Personality


    A fallen hero.
    In this class it’s really difficult to appreciate the few heroic qualities that remain in him, his will and impetus were destroyed in the underworld. There is only a shell of a man who cries out for revenge and who seeks to destroy those who abandoned him.
    In case of summoning as a Servant, it won’t be easy to establish a friendship with him. This is not only because the Avenger class forces him to focus on his vengeance, but because the memories of Theseus leaving him behind haunt him terribly.
    Among the few redeeming traits that can be seen in him is a certain mental maturity resulting from the long time he was chained. All this time led him to understand the magnitude of his offense against Hades and Persephone.



    Notes
    An Avenger version of Pirithous, this idea was time in my head and i am satisfied with how it turned out. Considering her class, I placed special emphasis on her status as a punished soul from Hades.
    P.S:I think I managed to fix the image problem...I think so...
    Last edited by Dr. Walker & Mr. Gear; December 4th, 2022 at 11:23 AM.

  11. #10571
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Pirithous: I did a more boisterous Berserker version of this guy back in the 2nd thread so this is interesting to compare. You really emphasized the aspects of him being imprisoned in the Underworld but that fits given the Class. I will say though that none of the FCs are showing up correctly for me.

  12. #10572
    祖 Ancestor
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    Source: TypeMoon

    Class: Saber
    Other Classes: N/A
    True Name: Han Xin
    Alignment: Lawful Good
    Place of Origin: China (3rd Century BC)
    Stars: 4/5

    Parameters:

    STR: B
    END: C
    AGI: B
    MGI: B
    LCK: D
    NP: B

    Height: 187cm
    Weight: 100lbs
    Likes: Valiant battle, glory
    Dislikes: Unfulfilled battle
    Talent: Perfecting bloodshed
    Natural Enemy: Xiang Yu, Yu Meiren
    Attribute: Man
    Traits: Humanoid, Male, Weak to Enuma Elish
    Armament: Shi Mian Maifu
    Catalyst: A painting of him

    Class Skills:

    Magic Resistance B: He lived in the age of gods and fought magecraft, leading to a fairly high rank of magic resistance.

    Riding A: He is capable of riding all mundane steeds easily, as well as low-level phantasmal beasts.

    Personal Skills:

    Zhui Hanxin B: The sublimation of the saying that "Xiao He chases Han Xin under the moonlight" The ability to control moonlight, tending to use it as a shining armor surrounding him that makes him seem like "the true glory" to anyone who sees him, fitting for his mindset of endless but careful battle.

    Duoduoyishan A: "When Han Xin commands forces, the more the better." A saying created by his statement to Liu Bang. This allows him to easily command and control massive armies, ranking up the stats of all within, although as a demerit the individuality of those under his control is not respected, as the saying was comparing Liu Bang's commanding of generals with Han Xin's of soldiers.

    Mingxiu Zhandao A+: The sublimation of his most famous stratagem, the Mingxiu Zhandao, which became part of the 36 stratagems. In it, he built connections to one location to be able to surprise those at a different location. The ability to "seem like" he's heading in a particular direction, while heading in a different one.

    Noble Phantasm(s):

    Shi Mian Maifu
    Ambush on Ten Sides


    Type: Anti-Unit
    Rank: B
    Range: 100 meters
    Max Targets: 1 targets

    The sublimation of one of his most famous stratagems, his "Ambush on Ten Sides". This manifests into the sword he holds, which allows him to create up to ten shadows of himself, emerging from it. Each of these has no individual thought and as such are prime for Duoduoyishan's commanding force. When the true name is called, all the shadows converge on a singular target, striking before Han Xin lands the finishing blow from above.

    Kanjian he Zhanli
    Falsified Vow of the Emperor

    Type: Support
    Rank: D
    Range: 0 meters
    Max Targets: 0 targets

    The sublimation of the vow of the emperor that if he faced heaven and stood firmly on earth, he could not be harmed by weapons wielded by soldiers. This vow manifests in a fairly straightforward form as a servant. As long as he "Faces heaven" (that is, can see the sky), and "stands firmly on earth" (that is, his feet can touch the ground), "No weapons wielded by soldiers can harm him" (no weapons that are standard military weapons can harm him. However, bare hands or non-standard weapons can). In addition, noble phantasms above Rank C ignore this ability.

    Lore: Han Xin (231-196 BC) was a Chinese general and politician who was a major player during the founding of the Han Dynasty, siding with Liu Bang over Xiang Yu and aiding him in several occasions. However, he was severely slighted by Liu Bang, even demoted to merely Marquis. So he attempted to rebel but was crushed.

    Personality: A bloodthirsty and fierce man who loves destroying and crushing the enemy. However, he is also fairly focused on tactics, tending to use ambushes and more hidden attacks before all out pummeling them when they cant stop it. His wish is to be able to win every battle he enters.

    Relationships:

    Xiang Yu: "....I wish I hadn't sided against you..."

    Yu Meiren: "I'm... truly sorry for my role."

    Gao Changgong: "Poison? How terrible."

    Xi Shi: "Poor soul."

    Yuenu: "You're very similar to me, aren't you?"
    Last edited by jishara; December 3rd, 2022 at 06:39 PM.

  13. #10573
    死徒(上級)Greater Dead Apostle Alexcoene's Avatar
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    Uh, all the images are borked, Walker.

  14. #10574
    世はまさにパンテオン Comun's Avatar
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    Not a fan replacing Han Xin's canon design for a random bishie.

  15. #10575
    失敗作の神 God of Failed Work Spelror's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shezum3 View Post
    I heard someone write about burnout. It's better to submit an idea so that someone can overcome burnout.
    yes it's me. hi. I'm thinking of just posting my ideas and coming back to it later later on.
    Still finding out the lyrics to Thest.

    https://sites.google.com/view/jacobs...hotosynthesis/
    Website I made in my middle-high/secondary school time

  16. #10576
    死者 Corpse Dr. Walker & Mr. Gear's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    Pirithous: I did a more boisterous Berserker version of this guy back in the 2nd thread so this is interesting to compare. You really emphasized the aspects of him being imprisoned in the Underworld but that fits given the Class. I will say though that none of the FCs are showing up correctly for me.
    Yeah, sometime ago i saw your Berserkee Pirithous, and i like it. I found intersting the idea of turning the curse throne of Pirithous into a weapon.
    And i confused with the imagen, because i see it normal. But don't worry, i'll fix that.

    -EDIT-

    I think...I THINK...I fix it
    Last edited by Dr. Walker & Mr. Gear; December 3rd, 2022 at 12:45 PM.

  17. #10577
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six pinetree's Avatar
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    You haven't. Don't use google photos to host images to post here (or whatever it is you're using), just upload them to imgur.

  18. #10578
    祖 Ancestor
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    Quote Originally Posted by Comun View Post
    Not a fan replacing Han Xin's canon design for a random bishie.
    Sorry about that, didn't notice he had a canon design.

  19. #10579
    死徒(上級)Greater Dead Apostle Alexcoene's Avatar
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    I think having some knowledge on how the source material is already handled officialy is best for sheet-making. Even if it's just to say you can do better.

  20. #10580
    不死 Undead
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    Demon Ruler



    Ave Satanas! I am not a servant of the gods of wisdom-defiled. My body is my temple, my mind creates laws for itself. I'm Ruler and I'm ready to judge this war

    Class: Ruler
    True Name: Anton Szandor LaVey
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Place of Origin: America
    Armament: none

    STRENGE — C(A with NP)
    ENDURANCE — C(A with NP)
    AGILITY — B
    MANA — A
    LUCK — B
    NP — A

    Class skills:

    True Name Discernment B:
    A skill Granted to Rulers. During a direct encounter, a Servant's true name and entire status information will be automatically revealed. In regards to Servants with concealment abilities, a Luck Check is required to bypass those abilities.

    God's Resolution(none)
    However, due to his nature this skill has been replaced.

    Magic Resistance(C)
    Provides protection from magical effects. Unlike the resistance effect, which simply rejects magical energy, this ability completely cancels spells.

    Personal skills:

    Deal with the devil(B)

    A skill that replaces God's Resolution. Ruler doesn’t initially have any Command Spells. However, he can obtain them through bargaining with other servants. For the conclusion of the transaction requires the consent of the servant, completely voluntary. After shaking hands, the Servant will receive a stat boost and the Ruler will receive one to three Command Spells.

    Ruler wasn’t known for dealing in his lifetime, but rumors about him allow him to have this skill. The most important is the rumor that Ruler was having an affair with an actress who supposedly made a career out of it.

    At all times, people wished that some supernatural power would solve all their problems. From here all sorts of beliefs in gods, devils, spirits and demons arose. This skill is a kind of test. If a servant is a slave in spirit and is ready to give up his freedom for the sake of strength, then he is nothing more than a slave whose neck freezes without a collar.

    Charisma of Rebellious Spirit(A)

    Composite skill from Rebel Spirit's Charisma and Nature. Ruler is able to nullify enemy Charisma and control people himself. Moreover, with his speeches, Ruler is able to sow doubt in the enemy army or association, destabilizing it.

    Did you expect me to summon demons or throw fireballs? Why do I need it? My real weapon is words. Who owns the word - he owns everything

    Satanic Sacrifice(C)

    This skill is Ruler's version of Sacrifice. He does not need to kill animals or children to receive upgrades and other bonuses.

    According to Ruler, the sacrifice works not because of spilled blood or burning, but because of the discharge of biological energy. This may be an intensification of such manifestations of a human being as a sexual orgasm, blind rage, mortal horror, all-consuming grief, etc.

    By experiencing all this, Ruler can either curse the opponent or rid himself of the curse. The curse itself can lower the opponent's parameters, remove moral restrictions, or send emotions of anger, rage, or intense grief. Ruler can use this skill after his first NP.

    At times, don't overdo it. That is my principle. If sacrifice is an outburst of energy, isn't it easier to use one's own?

    Protection of the Music God(Fake)(B)

    Originally, this is a Skill indicating being given the divine protection of Muses, the goddesses of music. It is the capacity to recognize and identify any and all sorts of sound, and it makes it possible to perform a prodigious musical performance. In addition, it also grants a plus correction on the usage of musical magic.

    Ruler was encouraged in every possible way to develop his musical abilities, thanks to which he learned to play many musical instruments. He was especially fond of keyboard instruments, such as the organ and the calliope. He could play almost any tune by ear.

    This is the kind of magic I love. The best concerts sound exactly in hell


    Noble Phantasm:

    Satanas Diavolos
    I proclaim myself your enemy
    C

    The word Satan in translation from the Semitic languages means the enemy. Ruler with the help of this NP implements this concept.

    Ruler is able to proclaim himself an enemy of one servant or another. To do this, he needs to know the true name of the Heroic Soul. Once proclaimed, Ruler will gain the traits of a servant's natural enemies. If Ruler proclaimed himself an enemy of a dragon slayer, then he will receive dragon traits, if Ruler's enemy is a vampire hunter, then Ruler will receive vampire traits, and so on. Ruler himself is able to choose his inherent traits. At first glance, this phantasm seems dangerous to the user. However, this NP has other effects that aren’t immediately apparent.

    It should be remembered that NP will only work at full strength when the marked servant also considers Ruler to be his enemy. The stronger the servant's hatred for Ruler, the stronger this NP will manifest its properties. The target will first become vulnerable to Satanic Sacrifice. Moreover, Ruler will receive detailed information about the enemy, to the point that he will literally read his mind. The marked one will also give some of his mana to Ruler

    Satanas Baphomet
    Great Blasphemous Mass
    A

    The embodiment of Ruler's life's work and what he perceived as Satanism. This NP is a book with a cover reminiscent of the Satanic Bible, with completely blank pages.

    After six days, one hour and six minutes, the book will fill up with the ritual that Ruler must perform to activate this NP. This ritual has no clear boundaries and is always different each time Ruler is summoned in Holy Graal Wars. But the basis of the ritual itself is unchanged - it is the trampling of the gods built by human hands, the greatest blasphemy. At the same time, Ruler does not have to mock any religions, he can also mock communism, fascism, nazism, militarism, and even radical movements of liberalism - that is, any super-valuable doctrine.

    After this ritual, Ruler, at the cost of his Holy Graph, will turn into Baphomet, the idea of ​​Satanism. It is a humanoid with a human body, a goat's head, and bird wings, capable of magic. His strength and abilities depend on several parameters during the ritual:

    1) Scale - the more people Ruler lures to this ritual, the stronger Baphomet will become.
    2) Presence of witnesses - Baphomet will also become stronger if the ritual is observed by outsiders, who should resent the ongoing blasphemy
    3) If Ruler declared himself an enemy of another servant, then this will make Baphomet stronger.

    Baphomet will inflict additional damage on adherents of overvalued teachings, whose ideals have been blasphemed during the ritual. Similarly, with protection against attacks by such adepts.

    Description:

    Likes: Orgies, going against the crowd, ridiculing the rituals
    Dislikes: Religious hypocrites, hooded wannabes, idiots
    Natural enemy: Overvalued teachings

    Ruler’s True name is Anton Szandor LaVey, the founder and high priest of the "Church of Satan", the author of "The Satanic Bible", known as the creator of the author's version of Satanism, one of the "prominent ideologists of the occult and Satanism."

    LaVey is a brash-tongued mocker who lives by his own rules. He is not averse to indulging his sins, such as lust and anger, but does not give them free rein. Anton is very selfish, but he is a reasonable egoist, capable of good deeds. As a rule, he does this for his own benefit.

    During his lifetime, Anton was an atheist, becoming Ruler, he remains so to this day. LaVey accepts the existence of magic and the supernatural, but he will refuse to worship the gods. He will see in them a request of powerful creatures with whom he can and should fight.

    Notes: I will not make a detailed description of his personality, since I will have to rewrite the entire Satanic Bible, and I am too lazy. I could have made him a Caster and even an Assassin, but I decided to choose Ruler. Are his NP descriptions not too confusing?
    Last edited by Shezum3; December 6th, 2022 at 03:18 AM.

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