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Thread: Create-A-Servant 3

  1. #10741
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six SpoonyViking's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Comun View Post
    We heard from Spartacus that your initial intention was a direct rework of his sheet and that he fully denied permission, so you don't get to use his text in your version.

    This is not an infraction that will go on your record (decision subject to change) because it's the first time Beast's Lair is dealing with a plagiarism problem, so we still don't have set rules and standardized punishments for it, but you're subject to greater consequences if you refuse to comply.
    If possible, Comun, could Sparta's Khawla sheet be added to the master post with the Servants list in the Create-a-Servant 2 thread? It doesn't seem to be there, for some reason.

  2. #10742
    世はまさにパンテオン Comun's Avatar
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    I found the sheet in the full compilation post on this thread's first page, so I just copied CaS3's compilation into CaS2's. Let me know if there was any problem with that.

  3. #10743
    wwwww Spartacus's Avatar
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    Thank you for looking at this case, Comun.

  4. #10744
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six SpoonyViking's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Comun View Post
    I found the sheet in the full compilation post on this thread's first page, so I just copied CaS3's compilation into CaS2's. Let me know if there was any problem with that.
    Thanks!

  5. #10745
    夜属 Nightkin
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    Cocainum king



    I'm back in business, Master. It was nice to rest ... how many years have passed there? But it doesn't matter, master, we'll figure it out as we go.

    Class: Rider
    True Name: Pablo Escobar
    Alignment: Neutral Evil
    Place of Origin: Columbia
    Armament: Guns and knives

    STRENGE — C
    ENDURANCE — C
    AGILITY — B
    MANA — C
    LUCK — B
    NP — B

    Class skills:

    Riding(B)

    The skill of the Saber and Rider classes. Rider is able to drive any modern transport

    Magic Resistance(D)

    Provides protection from magical effects. Unlike the resistance effect, which simply rejects magical energy, this ability completely cancels spells. Rider has extremely low magic resistance.


    Personal skills:

    Charisma of the Poor(A)

    Composite skill from Discernment of the Poor and Charisma.

    For the poor, Rider was almost a god. Being himself from a very poor area, he knows well how to influence the minds of the orphans and the poor, in addition, this also allows him to determine the parameters of enemy servants

    Am I evil? Anyone in my place would have done the same. I gave them shelter, food, some kind of work. I did everything I could

    Gold Rule(EX)

    The servant's ability to accumulate wealth. Rider was one of the richest people of his time, his fortune was estimated at 30 billion dollars.

    Blood money? May be. But how is my business different from other businesses? Because mine has a bad reputation. That's all

    Cartel(B)

    During his lifetime, Rider controlled up to 80% of the global cocaine market. He used airplanes, cars, even a submarine for this. His name has become strongly associated with this drug, which has now become his main weapon.

    Rider is capable of handling any ranged weapon, and with this skill, he can infect projectiles and bullets with the drug, creating a sort of cocaine bullet. It is not difficult to understand that when they hit the body, these bullets cause cocaine poisoning, and given that there are a lot of them, then there is a risk of dying from an overdose

    Unusual way of delivering goods, isn't it? It is a pity that it is not profitable, but, damn it, this is magic!

    Noble Phantasm:

    La Catedral
    Prison with all amenities
    C

    Rider's personal prison, built with his own money. In fact, this is a luxury hotel where you can live in clover. The prison is protected by a special field that cannot be crossed by those who have been marked by Rider, whoever they are.

    Rider himself can be in this prison for about twelve days, after this NP is sealed. In addition, Rider can teleport to this prison at any time, in other words, this is a kind of his ability to retreat from any, even a hopeless situation.

    Hipopótamos de cocaína
    Royal Pets
    B

    Reason why Rider can qualify for this class. This is a group of four hippos, one male and three females. They are loyal to Rider and allow him to use them as mounts.

    These are strong, fast and very aggressive creatures that also store cocaine inside them. They are able to exhale it, hitting everyone who gets under it with this drug. Also, their blood is cocaine, so you have to be very careful when fighting these hippos.

    It should be remembered that the death of Rider will not destroy these hippos. They will continue to exist, in addition, the death of Rider will allow them to multiply.

    Description:

    Likes: Rich life, business, family, hippos
    Dislikes: Law, those who refuse his deals

    Rider’s True name is Pablo Escobar, Colombian drug lord and terrorist, one of the most famous, brutal and wealthy criminals in history.

    Pablo tries to present himself from the best side. He plays the role of a noble robber with some kind of standards, who is engaged in crime only because circumstances have developed in life. However, do not forget that Escobar is an immoral businessman who is primarily interested in profit and it does not matter to him how he will receive it. He is cunning, but not always able to think through the consequences of his actions.

    He is brash and impudent, especially towards those who represent the law. Escobar is cynical, he sees magic as one of the ways to make a profit. The Master should be extremely careful with Escobar - he is unpredictable and very cruel.

    Relations:

    Robin Hood: Hey my friend, put your bow away, I just want to chat with you. After all, we are similar - both fought for the poor, robbing the rich. I don't understand why you are so hostile to me?

    Law related servants: Gentlemen, I have a short conversation with you, I will not repeat it. Plato o plomo?
    Last edited by Shezum3; January 26th, 2023 at 08:11 AM.

  6. #10746
    死徒(下級)Lesser Dead Apostle Castellan's Avatar
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    I forgor my copy of Early Irish Myths and Sagas while I was traveling and think the Wife Guy needs a bit more tweaking (it's Midir fwiw) so whoever voted for the murdery Irish lady, you're in luck. I'll preface this by saying the sheet gets kinda dark and I'm not 100% on the tone. Also it's going to go off the rails pretty much right off the bat so don't expect as much detailed Ireland Infotm this time around. Oh, and it may or may not contain a hint for future Irelandposting nonsense:

    "What a sick joke, being summoned like this...did you do this?! Speak up, or I'll run you through before you take another breath.
    ...You didn't? Well then. I suppose until I find the one who did, you'll get to give me orders. Try to use one of those things on your hand and I'll cut it off."

    "I don't really do the bodysuit thing. My sister can do what she wants, but I'd prefer not to wave my gut at the enemy."
    True Name: Aoife (pronounced "ee-fa"Lugaid mac Cú Roi and Connla mac Sétanta
    Origin: The Ulster Cycle
    Region: Scotland
    Alignment: Lawful Evil
    Gender: FemaleFemale body and Spirit Origin with two male Spirit Origins attached.
    Hidden Attribute: Earth


    Background:

    A warrior-trainer and queen from Scotland, one of three teachers in the world said to be the equal of Scáthach, who in some versions of their legend was depicted as her sister. The two often went to war against each other, although these conflicts were less about land, wealth or power, and often more about testing their students. After all, the only way to know for certain if a person will survive a war is to put them in one, and so the two pitted student against student in battles every bit as real as those they might be asked to fight once they returned home.

    "Yeah, a lot of them died. So what? That just means we weeded out the weak."
    One such raid, what would have been a routine battle, escalated out of control due to two of Scáthach's students: Ferdiad, horn-skinned and invulnerable to arms, and Cú Chulainn. Although Aoife almost managed to overpower the latter, cutting his sword to ribbons until he was left with nothing but a metal stump at the end of a grip, he managed to distract her during a crucial moment and managed to put what remained of the sword to her throat. "A life for a life." He would let her live...if she provided him with a son.

    "They say I put three curses on him: That he could reveal his name to no man, must make way for no man, and refuse no man combat. I didn't do shit. I did what Scáthach's attack dog asked, no more."
    As promised, as soon as he was old enough to hold a sword, young Connla was sent off to train under Scáthach. Years later, he made his way to Ireland, where his geis put him in conflict with Conchobar mac Ness of Ulster and, ultimately, his own father. It was a close-fought battle, closer than anyone would imagine given the disparity in age, and in the end, Cú Chulainn had to resort to his most desperate trump card. Connla would be the first person to ever be run through with the Gáe Bolg at his hand, his only regret that he had to leave his father with the burden of having killed him.

    "Did I grieve for a kid I never wanted? You know, you've got a real knack for asking annoying questions. How attached are you to your tongue?"
    Under normal circumstances, Aoife would be summoned in one of the standard classes. The circumstances of her unusual summoning, however, and the two other Spirit Origins grafted to hers, both of whom may be possible to summon as ordinary Heroic Spirits, have placed her in the Avenger Extra Class. In this trio, she represents "the desire for revenge against Cú Chulainn," while her two hangers-on represent "the skill to rival Cú Chulainn" and "the means to kill Cú Chulainn." Whoever put this together must have been quite the sadist.

    One of these components has already been mentioned. The other, Lugaid mac Cú Roi, is the man who ultimately had the 'honor' of killing Cú Chulainn. The son of a King of Munster whose rivalry with Cú Chulainn is the subject of several tales and one of the few men to ever win an encounter with the Hound, he was ultimately killed after the Cattle Raid, and Lugaid fled to Connacht where he and others began to plan for his demise. At Medb's behest, the smiths of Connacht forged three great spears, each of which was made to kill a king.

    A Connacht warrior threw the first spear, which mortally wounded Cú Chulainn's horse Liath Macha, a king among horses. Erc mac Cairpre, the son of the King of Leinster whom Cú Chulainn had killed, threw the second lance. It impaled his charioteer Laeg mac Riangabra, a king among charioteers. Finally, Lugaid threw the third spear, and although it did not kill Cú Chulainn on the spot, his wounds were too grievous. He tied himself to a standing stone with his own entrails, trying to hold off the Connacht onslaught by pretending to still be alive. Only when a crow landed on his shoulder did the assembled Connacht warriors know he was dead...but when Lugaid moved to cut off his head, his sword-arm fell one last time, severing Lugaid's hand at the wrist.

    "Guess he got all of us, in the end. We'll see how long his luck lasts this time..."
    In an ordinary Holy Grail War it would be impossible to summon the immortal Scáthach. Aoife, however, might prove a tempting substitute, particularly if one already knew they were going to face off against Culann's Hound...

    Parameters: STR B END A AGI A MAN C LCK E

    Personality:

    Had she been summoned in her own, Aoife might be more of a brusque disciplinarian, similar in temperament to Scáthach, and may even still contain some shades of that. However, the nature of her altered Spirit Origin has soured her disposition greatly. The combination of the spiritual presence of Connla plus the Avenger and Oblivion Correction Skills have given her something of a single-minded disposition.

    "I'll kill him. I'll kill all those who've used their own people for their personal glory..!"
    While schooled in much the same manner as her sister, she was not close enough to the Land of Shadows to become immortal, living a regular lifespan as opposed to Scáthach who reportedly emerged in the Finn Cycle under the name Bodhmall. The two competed fiercely, and Aoife was always set on attempting to surpass her as warrior, teacher and queen, and as far as she is concerned, the question of which of them is the best is still far from settled. Had she been summoned in a different Class, she may have been attempting to recruit new "students" to prove it once and for all.

    If Avengers can be said to represent not those who seek revenge, but those who wish to avenge others, Aoife can be thought of as the one who avenges "those set up to die for someone else's sake." Those who were victims of another person's need to prop up their own reputation, to play a role in someone else's tale and be forgotten when they take center stage. Her status is not derived from her, but rather, her feelings towards Connla. While she has a single obvious target for this ire, he's by no means the sole focus. It's all well and good for a hero to say he got to live a life without regrets, but that is a poor comfort for those they crushed to get there.

    "Alright, that's enough of the sob story. Come on, pick it up. We still haven't found who did this."
    Class Skills:

    Avenger C - The ability to absorb the hatred of others and turn it into one's own strength. Her rank is relatively weak as it represents a small number of people: those who believe that Aoife had cursed Connla of her own volition, and those who hate Lugaid mac Cú Roi for the death of Ulster's attack dog.

    Oblivion Correction B - A skill representing both the resentment at the heart of this fused Spirit, but also Aoife's own desire to never be caught off-guard again, attempting to use this Class Skill to circumvent her weakness in life.

    Self-Replenishment D - Generates a miniscule amount of mana to sustain herself.

    Personal Skills:

    Wisdom of Dún Scáith B - Functionally equivalent to the Skill possessed by her sister, including the limited ability to divine the future of those she is closely connected to, including her Master.

    Knowledge of Melee Combat B - The ability to fight and keep a cool head on chaotic battlefields where friend and foe blur together. During many of her raids on her sister (or Scáthach's own raids against her territory) she frequently fought alongside her students in chaotic melees where it was difficult to distinguish friend from foe.

    Uncrowned Arms Mastery - Connla's contribution to this composite Heroic Spirit, who managed to be chronically underestimated by the warriors of Ulster on account of his unknown birth and young age, even defeating the Ulaid warrior Conall Cernach before his fatal duel with his father. Parameters will appear lower to those unaware of her True Name.

    Noble Phantasm

    The Three Kingkilling Spears
    Aided Con Culainn
    Anti-Unit C++


    The contribution of Lugaid mac Cú Roi. Three spears, supposedly enchanted by no less than the smith-god Vulcan of Roman mythology and further reinforced by Clan Calatin. Against most targets, they operate as a weaker version of the Gáe Bolg, with the same piercing qualities but without the ability to reverse causality to always strike the heart. Two types of targets will draw out the Noble Phantasm's true power. When thrown at a person who fulfills one criteria, it operates at a C+ parameter. If they fulfill both, it operates at its full C++ parameter. Against those targets, when thrown, it cannot be avoided and will always strike the weakest part of an enemy's Spirit Origin. It is possible to survive through employing defensive Noble Phantasms, personal skills like Battle Continuation, or through being healed, but if one survives the initial strike, a subsequent spear thrown at the same target will always be fatal. The valid targets are:

    Kings or chieftains, anyone who wielded personal authority over a great many people as the leader of a nation, or who was recognized as a king by their own community.
    Those recognized as valid targets for Aoife's revenge, whether targets of her personal ire or those who fall within the scope of her nature as an Avenger.

    Field Notes

    Well well, what a fine mess this turned out to be in the end. For posterity, now that the dust has settled, some mad bastard has to record this clusterfuck of a Holy Grail War, and I guess I've nominated myself. If this is my ancestor's way of inviting me into the family business, I'm not amused.

    Two irregularities marked this particular Lesser Grail WarI recognize that the official term is "Subspecies Holy Grail War" but given that it's a stupid name I've elected to ignore it right from the start. The first was the general quality of Heroic Spirits. Lesser Grail Wars tend to rarely involve Heroic Spirits from anywhere close to the Age of Gods, and may occasionally pull Phantom Spirits along for the ride if the Grail's running low on power. So of course this one spat out seven bona-fide Heroic Spirits ripped straight from the Ulster Cycle. Luck of the Irish, eh? Having demigods running around picking fights that could level city blocks, good grief. Guess I should count myself lucky I got out with all my limbs attached. Can't say everyone was so lucky...

    If you can't guess the second irregularity, get checked - it's fairly obvious it's the subject of this report. Rather than an Assassin, the Grail summoned an Extra-class Heroic Spirit. While it may be related to the Holy Grail War's Berserker, the specific reason why Aoife was summoned has yet to be fully explored, nor is her original summoner's name known. I've got my suspicions, but unless I can prove them I'm keeping my gob shut before someone drags me in front of Brú na Bóinne and dares me to prove it. Better to keep a delicate touch on this one until I've got more proof. God help me if I have to go to the Otherworld to find the answer to this mess.

    I know you study this mess for a living, so before I go around and start kicking up a shitstorm, I figured I'd send you my notes for that project of yours. Who knows. Maybe if you ask nicely I'll show up for an interview.

    - Personal correspondence of Niamh of Clan Amergain, date unknown, but suspected to be following the conclusion of the Great Holy Grail War.

    Last edited by Castellan; March 26th, 2023 at 08:39 AM. Reason: I accidentally the wrong foster mom.

  7. #10747
    失敗作の神 God of Failed Work Spelror's Avatar
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    I'm not knowledgeable enough def not been sleeping thru your classes to comment on this sheet.
    Let me go take a quick dip over and finish this sick Moneko drawing I was halfway thru

  8. #10748
    死徒(下級)Lesser Dead Apostle Castellan's Avatar
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    Honestly this is the most just-completely-out-there writeup I've made in terms of "Aoife's stuff is broadly in line with Tochmarc Emire and Aided Oenfir Aoife and the rest is me free-wheeling." And there's no rush at all - I appreciate commentary but people have lives/other hobbies and that's a-okay :>

  9. #10749
    夜属 Nightkin
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    Assassin of Crime and Punishment





    Where am I? Who are you... Razumikhin? My friend... I have a strange feeling...

    Class: Assassin
    True Name: Rodion Raskolnikov
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Place of Origin: Russian Empire
    Armament: Axe

    STRENGE — B
    ENDURANCE — B
    AGILITY — B
    MANA — C
    LUCK — C
    NP — B

    Class skills:

    Conceal Presence(C+)

    Suitable for espionage. You can completely disappear and become almost invisible, even contrary to the perception of the Servant. However, the effectiveness will decrease as soon as preparations for the attack are made. Assassin's stealth skill is not that high, but in a big city he is easily able to blend in with the crowd

    Personal skills:

    Mental Corruption(D/C/B/A)

    This skill where due to possessing a distorted mentality, it is possible for one to shut out any mental interference thaumaturgy. However, at the same time, it becomes impossible for one to come to a mutual understanding with individuals who do not possess an equivalent rank of Mental Corruption. The rank of this skill is directly related to Assassin's NP. At a low level, he is not fully aware of reality - he confuses the master with people he knows. A guy of his age will be called Razumikhin, a girl - Sonya, an older man - Porfiry Petrovich, an older woman - mother, a master with a craving for cruelty or evil - Svidrigailov. At a higher rank, Assassin can activate his second NP at any time, even without the order of the Master

    Have you drunk again, Razumikhin? Or is this some weird joke? I already have a headache, that's enough already

    Trembling Creature(B)

    Assassin's theory, according to which people are divided into trembling creatures and those who have the right. This skill is a reflection of this theory, allowing the Assassin to see creatures trembling. Assassin himself also refers to them. Any attack on creatures trembling from the Assassin will become much stronger, which will allow him to kill the servant in one or two blows with an ax. This skill also marks the right of those who have it - Assassin's attacks are useless against them, while they are very dangerous for him.

    I need to confirm this thought. Repeatedly. Until I know the truth

    Purification(B)

    Assassin's special skill that he cannot activate without the help of a master. This skill allows him to reset his Mental Corruption rank. A very difficult skill, since the Master needs to conduct conversations with the Assassin

    Maybe you are right, Razumikhin. What am I doing?

    Noble Phantasm:

    Топор Раскола
    Weapon of crime and punishment
    C

    Unremarkable hatchet. It is not even combat, it was used for chopping firewood. But the ax caught the eye of the Assassin and since then this tool has not been separated from him. The assassin is able to hide it under his coat, he also always beats with the butt of an ax. However, this ax has its own secret.

    Whenever the Ax of Sundering kills someone, the Assassin's Mental Corruption ranks up. This ax is not capable of cutting flesh. It cuts the Assassin's soul

    Последний сон
    Hate Virus
    A

    An out-of-control Noble Phantasm that an Assassin gains when the rank of Mental Corruption becomes A. This phantasm cannot be canceled and Assassin's death will not affect this NP.

    It is a rabies virus that completely blocks any restrictions in the brain. Those affected by this virus are insane maniacs, ready to destroy and kill everything that moves. The Assassin himself is also infected with this virus, from that moment on he is no longer under the control of the master. The virus is actively spreading and the only way to get rid of it is to destroy all the infected. Or have a servant associated with medicine

    Description:

    Likes: sister, mother, his theory, friend, horses, Napoleon
    Dislikes: yellow color, scoundrels, trembling creatures
    Natural enemy: Fyodor Dostoevsky, Arkady Svidrigailov, Pyotr Luzhin

    Assassin’s True name is Rodion Raskolnikov, former law student from St. Petersburg, due to lack of funds, was forced to leave his studies at the university, who later killed an old money-lender women.

    Rodion is a man with great mental problems. He inadequately perceives reality, and in his behavior he is closer to a servant of the Berserker class. Despite his madness, Rodion is still a kind person who values family and friends, but it is extremely easy to persuade him to kill.

    Raskolnikov is a very difficult servant to handle. It is easier to control him with the help of two masters, since it is necessary not only to persuade him to kill - this is still a war for the Grail - but also to help him activate the Purification skill.

    At high ranks of Mental Corruption, Raskolnikov will begin to hallucinate based on his dreams. He will relive his nightmares. At rank A, Rodion will be completely ready to go all out

    Notes: I will upload art later
    Last edited by Shezum3; January 29th, 2023 at 03:40 AM.

  10. #10750
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors
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    Source: Paerias

    Class: Saber
    Other Classes: Ruler
    True Name: Catherine of Aragon
    Alignment: Lawful Good
    Place of Origin: England (15th Century)
    Stars: 4/5

    Parameters:

    STR: B
    END: C
    AGI: C
    MGI: C
    LCK: C
    NP: B+

    Height: 178cm
    Weight: 120lbs
    Likes: Strength, kindness
    Dislikes: Traitors, betrayers
    Talent: Commanding armies
    Natural Enemy: Anne Boleyn
    Attribute: Man
    Traits: Humanoid, Female, Weak to Enuma Elish
    Armament: Her sword
    Catalyst: A scrap of a banner, covered in blood

    Class Skills:

    Magic Resistance D: She never met or saw magic in life, so has the very bare minimum rank in this provided by her class. This simply weakens spells.

    Riding B: She is capable of riding horses and standard steeds with a great deal of proficiency.


    Personal Skills:

    Golden Chains B: The sublimation of her marriage to Henry VIII. It manifests in the form of filigree golden chains that emerge from the rings on her hands and bind to her allies. These chains provide them with a set of HP regeneration and are used by Saber in her fighting style. However, if the ally attempts to betray her, the chain latches on tighter, no matter what they try to do to remove it, and begins absorbing Mana instead.

    Ambassador in Yellow A: The sublimation of her status as the first female ambassador in Europe, as the ambassador for Spain in England. This grants her the capacity to better form connections and make allegiances with anyone, no matter their differences. This skill becomes even more effective when combined with Armor of the Shining Sun.

    Armor of the Shining Sun B: The sublimation of the speech she made in a full suit of armor to the army, rallying their courage before the battle against Scotland which she lead. This manifests as a shining suit of armor, visibly formed out of rays of sunlight, that shields her from blows. This can reform when in battle and under sunlight. This armor also empowers Ambassador in Yellow.

    With A Bright Light C: The sublimation of her work on reforms including education for women and aiding the poor, to the point where even her enemies believed that she was one of the most powerful figures of the age. The capacity to extend bright rays of light from her sword and chains toward allies, that resupplies them with mana and grants them information on the situation.


    Noble Phantasm(s):

    Bloodied Scabbard
    The Death Of The King Of Scotland

    Type: Anti-Army
    Rank: B
    Range: 100 meters
    Max Targets: 1000 targets

    The sublimation of the death of the King of Scotland in a battle that Saber commanded, as well as his bloodied cape that was sent to rework into a banner to spur on the English forces. This manifests in the form of her scabbard, formed out of that banner, which projects an effect of fear on her enemies and courage on her allies.

    Curtana de Aragon
    Sword Of Justice, Shine Over This Land

    Type: Anti-Unit
    Rank: B
    Range: 30 meters
    Max Targets: 1 target

    The sublimation of her status as Queen of England, one of the few members of Henry VIII's wives that were coronated. This grants her access to the sword Curtana, which serves as her primary weapon, despite its blunted tip. Naturally, to replace that, chains jut out from this sword with sharp edges. When the true name is called, Saber draws on the connections of Curtana as the Sword of Justice to punish a target, latching onto them with chains before impaling the Spiritual Core with another one.

    Lore: Catherine of Aragon (1485-1536) was Queen Consort of England as the first wife of king Henry VIII. She was initially the wife of Arthur, Prince of Wales, but after he died and after the period in which she served as Ambassador of Spain to England, she married Henry the Eighth. She lead the English army to victory against Scotland. Later on, Henry tried to divorce her, but the pope denied it due to Catherine's nephew holding him hostage, so Henry created the Church of England to divorce her. This summoning has been manifested from the period in which Henry was unable to divorce her.

    Personality: A elegant and fierce person. She hates traitors and feels that they should all be destroyed. She especially hates Henry the Eighth due to his betrayal of her and of his other wives. She enjoys battle and leading armies, as well as diplomacy, finding them very similar in the ways that they work. Her wish for the Grail is to destroy Henry the Eighth and to bring back her husband Arthur, Prince of Wales.

    Relationships:

    Catherine of Aragon (Ruler): "I really softened out this much, huh?"

    Anne Boleyn: "...I know this whole situation is weird, but.... I don't blame you. And I.... wish that at least one of us could have been happy."

    Anne of Kleves: "Oh? You got away! Great job!"

    Queen Victoria: "So England stabilized itself. Interesting."

    John Morton: "Cromwell? Oh, someone else. My apologies."

  11. #10751
    Wyrd oft nereð unfǽgne eorl, þonne his ellen déah... Skull's Avatar
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    That's certainly an...interesting Catherine sheet to say the least.
    "Here's a bangin lil' tune about takin' on The Man!"

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  12. #10752
    超高校級のゲーマーガール Anju Addams's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Skull View Post
    That's certainly an...interesting Catherine sheet to say the least.
    Why? I think it's pretty ok. Is it because she's a Saber?
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  13. #10753
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Kabalisto Koga's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anju Addams View Post
    Why? I think it's pretty ok. Is it because she's a Saber?
    Hello Anju !

    - - - Updated - - -

    how are you ? and why have you no visitor messages at your profile actually ?
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  14. #10754
    超高校級のゲーマーガール Anju Addams's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kabalisto Koga View Post
    Hello Anju !

    - - - Updated - - -

    how are you ? and why have you no visitor messages at your profile actually ?
    Because I have them turned off? Anyway, I've only been gone a few days Koga, just been working on some Servants and playing games.
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  15. #10755
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Kabalisto Koga's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anju Addams View Post
    Because I have them turned off? Anyway, I've only been gone a few days Koga, just been working on some Servants and playing games.
    oh nice to hear you work also one some servants i aswell am working at one . also you can turn that off ? i didnt know that ~

    though i still must bring my gears in woking as i want to include FAtes Nero chan into the lore and it makes it bit tricky as i want to make a Claudius servant .
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  16. #10756
    Wyrd oft nereð unfǽgne eorl, þonne his ellen déah... Skull's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anju Addams View Post
    Why? I think it's pretty ok. Is it because she's a Saber?
    I have a number of issues, her qualifying for the Saber Class is one of the more minor gripes.
    "Here's a bangin lil' tune about takin' on The Man!"

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  17. #10757
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Skull View Post
    I have a number of issues, her qualifying for the Saber Class is one of the more minor gripes.
    Mind clarifying your thoughts there?

  18. #10758
    Wyrd oft nereð unfǽgne eorl, þonne his ellen déah... Skull's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    Mind clarifying your thoughts there?
    Gosh, everyone seems to be waiting with baited breath on what I have to say, eh? I wonder why...


    Quote Originally Posted by jishara View Post
    "The sublimation of her..."
    This occurs six times in this sheet and to quote Inigo Montoya, "you keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think." Rather than "sublimation", I reckon the word you're looking for would be materialization, manifestation or heck even actualization would be acceptable. On a less nitpicky note, I'm not a fan of the over usage of abstract ideas to make up Skills.

    Quote Originally Posted by jishara View Post
    The sublimation of the death of the King of Scotland in a battle that Saber commanded
    You reference this a couple of times, however though she gave an impressive speech to the troops before they went to battle, Catherine did not have anything to do with said battle at all - given she was heavily pregnant at the time and therefore was already in Buckingham by the time the fighting concluded. It was Thomas Howard who was the leading commander in the battle which slew the Scottish King James IV.

    Quote Originally Posted by jishara View Post
    Curtana de Aragon
    Definitely not a fan of giving her Curtana for a Noble Phantasm. NPs are supposed to be the crystallization of a Servant's legend, so the fact that she doesn't have a personal connection to it rubs me the wrong way. Trying to turn it into some kind of generic shared NP for the Monarchs of England also doesn't work of me. Thus making her a Saber Class Servant is questionable as well methinks.

    Quote Originally Posted by jishara View Post
    Anne of Kleves
    I don't know how you did it, but you somehow combined the names Anne of Cleves and Anna von Kleve into a brand new name.

    Quote Originally Posted by jishara View Post
    Her wish for the Grail is to destroy Henry the Eighth and to bring back her husband Arthur, Prince of Wales.
    This isn't a serious complaint, but the fact that you have a woman in her forties (based on the timeframe you said she manifests) pining over a 15 year old boy is kinda funny ngl.

    ------

    I had more to say (both serious and not) but I think you get the gist and I won't belabor the point any further. Needless to say, not my favourite of Jishara's creations.
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  19. #10759
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Skull View Post
    Gosh, everyone seems to be waiting with baited breath on what I have to say, eh? I wonder why...
    Well I mean, it's natural when you just vaguely mention you have critiques on a sheet but don't spell them out.

    Quote Originally Posted by Skull View Post
    This occurs six times in this sheet and to quote Inigo Montoya, "you keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think." Rather than "sublimation", I reckon the word you're looking for would be materialization, manifestation or heck even actualization would be acceptable. On a less nitpicky note, I'm not a fan of the over usage of abstract ideas to make up Skills.
    Yeah, Jishara does tend to overuse that word. But to be fair it can mean "to raise to a higher state" which sort of fits an anecdote transforming into a Skill or NP. And (at least translated) the word is used that way in canon.

  20. #10760
    Wyrd oft nereð unfǽgne eorl, þonne his ellen déah... Skull's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    Well I mean, it's natural when you just vaguely mention you have critiques on a sheet but don't spell them out.
    It seems my little joke went over your head, well no matter.
    "Here's a bangin lil' tune about takin' on The Man!"

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