That was actually intentional. Putting together the gamer with the person who treated lives like a game.Originally Posted by Comun
That was actually intentional. Putting together the gamer with the person who treated lives like a game.
Not bad, I quite like it in fact. Maybe the ranks are a bit too high, but other than that, it's a decent take of decently edgy character. The Chiaki FC is pretty unfortunate though.
Oh, which stats are too high? I gave them low physicals, normal mana, and maybe the luck is too high, but my idea is "they came at the perfect time for war" and "Wartime Contracts" also super buffs luck.
I can change the Chiaki FC if it seems like too much of a problem. Is it?
Last edited by Dreamerless; February 27th, 2023 at 10:35 AM.
Oh boy, she certainly would not get along with Nobel.
Minor nitpicks:
- Unjustified genderbending is always a pet peeve of mine. Why is he (a recent figure who's clearly documented as a guy, with no Innocent Monster or other explained justifications in the sheet) a she again? Then again, this is Fate, and people have been genderbending historical figures for the heck of it, so it's just me.
- Chiaki fc is jarring, yeah, but it's also too... normal? I played Danganronpa, so I do get your justification, but for someone who doesn't have that DR context, giving "average anime girl" fc to a mad inventor, merchant of death, and morally twisted war profiteer just doesn't do it for me. She just doesn't look crazy or edgy enough for the part (...unless you can find some edgy fanart of Despair!Chiaki, then maybe...).
Aside from that, the sheet is fine. Personality is a bit simple, but nothing wrong with simplicity. Sometimes you just wanna write edge and that's okay.
1. There actually is an explanation for the genderbending, but its really stupid and didn't make it into the sheet.Oh boy, she certainly would not get along with Nobel.
Minor nitpicks:
- Unjustified genderbending is always a pet peeve of mine. Why is he (a recent figure who's clearly documented as a guy, with no Innocent Monster or other explained justifications in the sheet) a she again? Then again, this is Fate, and people have been genderbending historical figures for the heck of it, so it's just me.
- Chiaki fc is jarring, yeah, but it's also too... normal? I played Danganronpa, so I do get your justification, but for someone who doesn't have that DR context, giving "average anime girl" fc to a mad inventor, merchant of death, and morally twisted war profiteer just doesn't do it for me. She just doesn't look crazy or edgy enough for the part (...unless you can find some edgy fanart of Despair!Chiaki, then maybe...).
Aside from that, the sheet is fine. Personality is a bit simple, but nothing wrong with simplicity. Sometimes you just wanna write edge and that's okay.
2. I'm planning on changing the Chiaki fc maybe. However, I do like the Danganropa connection.
But yeah, her and Nobel would go horribly wrong. Maybe in a Holy Schlock War? I've already written how she'd react to Nobel, but Nobel's reaction would be fun to see. WOuld he attack her? I'm rereading the Nobel sheet now
Last edited by Dreamerless; February 27th, 2023 at 11:22 AM.
Ruler of Kyevan Rus
Wives and husbands, know that there will be a fair judge in this war! Don't try to bribe him. Don't try to threaten him.
Class: Ruler
True Name: Yaroslav the Wise
Alignment: Lawful Neutral
Place of Origin: Kievan Rus
Armament: Book and ax-staff
STRENGE — C
ENDURANCE — C
AGILITY — C
MANA — B
LUCK — A
NP — B
Class skills:
True Name Discernment B:
A skill granted to Rulers. During a direct encounter, a Servant's true name and entire status information will be automatically revealed. In regards to Servants with concealment abilities, a Luck Check is required to bypass those abilities.
God's Resolution(B)
Ruler's ability to have command seals to give orders to other servants. He has one command seal for each servant.
Magic Resistance(C)
Provides protection from magical effects. Unlike the resistance effect, which simply rejects magical energy, this ability completely cancels spells. Having studied magic at one time, Ruler has a decent defense. Against magic of Slavic and Pecheneg origin, Ruler has a greater advantage
Personal skills:
Duke Privilege C
A skill available only to the princes of Kievan Rus, a version of the Imperial Privilege. Ruler can gain Charisma, Riding, Swordsmanship, Military Tactics, and Eye of Kinship skills.
So what? The prince must be able to swing a weapons, ride a horse, and master all kinds of languages and sciences.
Volkhovstvo C
Based on druidism, necromancy and dealings with various spirits, a system of magic used in the Slavic countries. Ruler was at one time interested in magic, but he later lost interest in it. However, he still retained some spells in his memory.
Oh, trouble, trouble, chagrin ... in vain, nevertheless, I stopped learning sorcery. Now it would be useful
Holy Defender of the State A
This skill represents the Servant's ability to mark a region as his personal domain, securing the surrounding ley lines before combat.
In addition to the development of culture, Ruler was also engaged in protecting his lands from the raids of the nomadic Pechenegs, and after him this tribe ceased to be a threat to Ruler's country. Despite the different name, this is the same skill as the Demon Protector of the Realm. Ruler just doesn't like the word Demon
Well, what a devil I am, because I went to church every day and confessed my sins. Offensive name for the prince, it is necessary to change
Weak Constitution D
It is a weakness struck by the nature of frail health. Similar in nature to Innocent Monster, where the perception of the people in the future affects the existence of the Heroic Spirit. Ruler is accompanied by the risk of a sudden status drop at anytime of every action. The probability of risk is not high, but when it is invoked in combat, it is immens. Ruler from birth had a defect - one of his legs was shorter than the other. Due to this defect, he is difficult to fight in close combat and he is forced to lean on a staff
Otrok, I know that I'm lame. I don't have to point it out, okay?
Noble Phantasm:
Правда рѹсьскаꙗ
Laws of the wise knyaz
B
Ruler's creation, the first written code of laws in Kievan Rus, created to stop such a phenomenon as blood feud.
Ruler can activate this phantasm only with the help of the Demon (Holy, lad!) Defender of the State skill. This will allow the Ruler to impose on his territory, which can be very voluminous, laws that apply to other servants. If these laws are violated, then the servant will have to pay a fine - part of his or her mana will go to the Ruler. Laws cannot apply to the use of skills or Noble Phantasms, but Ruler can impose penalties for killing random people, for backstabbing, for stealing, and so on. This is a very dangerous NP for Chaotic Servants.
Секира Ярославля
The wild beast that I have conquered
B
Crystallization of the legend about the founding of the city named after himself by Ruler. According to this legend, a very large bear was set on Ruler, with whom Ruler fought one on one, armed only with an axe. It is not difficult to guess that Ruler emerged victorious from this battle.
This NP is a long-handled axe, allowing Ruler to lean on the weapon while walking due to his own limp. The ax blade is made in the form of a bear's muzzle, and the bear itself lives in this weapon. Ruler can summon him.
The bear is huge and covered with brown hair. It is a ghostly species faithfully serving Ruler. He is hardy, tenacious, has sharp teeth and claws, while being a semi-sentient creature and is able to understand Ruler's orders.
In addition to assisting Ruler in combat, the bear can also cooperate with the first noble phantasm. Ruler can choose not to pay the mana and send a bear to the scene of the crime instead. By the way, if the bear gets seriously injured, it will move to the ax, where it will instantly heal. The only way to get rid of the bear is to destroy Ruler's weapon
Description:
Likes: Law, order, learning new things, feeling the power in his hands
Dislikes: Lawlessness, ignorant, when asked about his brothers
Natural enemy: Svyatopolk the Accursed, Mstislav the Udaloy
Ruler’s True name is Yaroslav the Wise, son of Prince Vladimir Svyatoslavich and Princess Rogneda Rogvolodovna of Polotsk, father, grandfather and uncle of many rulers of Europe. Under him, temples began to be built in Rus', culture and education began to develop, the population grew, Kiev became the richest city, the first known set of laws of Russian law was compiled, which went down in history as "Russian Truth". Yaroslav the Wise built friendly relations with Sweden, and also established relations with Byzantium, the Holy Roman Empire and other European countries. Yaroslav managed to victoriously end the Russian-Pecheneg wars and return the Cherven cities captured by Poland to Kievan Rus.
He is a cheerful, friendly and self-satisfied person. He likes to take a nap after dinner, grooms his beard and doesn't let anyone touch it, never uses forks, loves to read a lot - he's crazy about the internet in particular - and takes his role as Rulera responsibly. He tries to be fair, though somewhat familiar to others. He demands respect for himself and loves to once again catch up with pathos. In general, he is a man not of this world, an eccentric in a word.
But he also has secrets that he does not like to talk about. This applies to his brothers - Svyatopolk, Svyatoslav, Boris and Gleb. Yaroslav will try to change the subject every time if the conversation comes about the brothers. Due to the specifics of the Ruler class, Yaroslav is unlikely to be able to show at what cost he will achieve his goals
Relations:
Svyatopolk the Accursed — What are you, my brother. Your words are terrible. Please, for the salvation of your soul, repent of your sin.
Joan of Arc — Poor girl... such a heavy burden and such a terrible payoff for everything you've done.
Notes: I will upload the image later
Last edited by Shezum3; February 27th, 2023 at 02:30 PM.
Just had a thought. While I like your justification for the Chiaki fc, if you want to change it while keeping the DR connection, wouldn't Mukuro be better? She's edgy, she's got a gun, and she's no stranger to war. May or may not be closer to your idea of Maxim.
Mukuro, in most of the art of her, looks too threatening. I want Maxim to not look like a physical threat until they pull out a fuck ton of guns. Maybe though. I can try to find a different fc.
Doing a Hiram Maxim without quoting the old epigram is a bit of a waste, IMO:
"Whatever happens, we have got / the Maxim gun, and they have not."
The Adventure of the Velvet Room (Sherlock Holmes/Persona) (SB, FFN, AO3)
Blog with all of my Servants so far.
Oh, I'll add it. Done! I'm going to keep the Chiaki FC until I find something better and I'm still thinking of a Nobel/Maxim interaction. I'm trying to write Nobel's lines as I really like his dialogue in BnEl15's sheet (great writing)
Wait, I should also add a catalyst. Any better ideas better than the prototype of a Maxim Gun?
Actually, idea. So any weapon created after World War 2 besides on keyed to a specific figure (nuclear bombs) have a high chance of summoning her as she started the era of modern slaughter.
Last edited by Dreamerless; February 27th, 2023 at 11:33 AM.
My first thought was Shirogane because
1) The concept is treating people's lives a game, which is exactly what she does.
2) My first thought is always Shirogane for everything even tangentially related.
She does look cool and I see the connection, but once again she looks too normal.
I'm now going to work on an Archer. (most of the sheet is done)
Last edited by Dreamerless; February 27th, 2023 at 12:07 PM.
BTW, how do you add a picture to your profile?
Go to the "Edit Avatar" section of your profile and post one in. Not sure if this is satisfactory but I don't know what part you're having trouble with.
I can't find that section.
Click on Settings
Below the site banner, on any page, you should see 'Welcome, Dreamerless'. It may be abit confusing, but to change your avatar you don't actually go through the button labelled My Profile next to it - that's to check your visitor messages and stuff. Instead, click Settings and then Edit Avatar.
Does this work?
Cool. I now have a picture
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