Create-A-Servant 3

[Stillinneverland]

Thanks for the responses DelRey and Baron Magnus!

In regards to DelRey's: yeah, the faceclaim was the last thing I decided on, simply because I couldn't find an image that fit him. I checked your faceclaim list, but none of the characters I saw worked. Eventually I decided on Joker, mostly because it was the only one I could find and he obviously has a lot of fanart. I'm also not completely happy about it, but nothing else worked. About the Tabula Smaragdina being overplayed, I guess that's fair. I originally decided on Hermes-Trismegistus to be the Servant he summoned because of the "All is one, one is all" connection to Yog-Sothoth, back when I hadn't decided Crowley disliked Aiwass. I still think it fits the best, and I think the way I put it into the sheet worked, but if one is tired of it, I guess it would obviously cause distaste. Also again, thanks for the help with formatting

For Baron Magnus, thanks for the compliments. I actually hadn't realized he was weak. My intention was to make him a middle of the road Servant, but considering he has no offensive NP and his only way of being above a Magus from the modern day requires time, yeah, I guess I failed in making him decent. My defense is that he can get very powerful if he kills someone with a more offensive Origin, but that's situational. The best strategy would be to, in the first second possible, to kill and Usurp 13 people to do the ritual to become a Beast (a thing I probably shouldn't have tucked into the "spells" section, but it is what it is) and then he'll be extremely strong, but there's a good chance his Master would be against it. If that's not an option, he might get absolutely demolished by the first Servant with Magic Resistance. Not a pleasant idea. In regards to the multiple NPs, I have trouble not putting every idea I have, so I added three of them, but I think that they all complement each other well to create a cohesive kit, instead of being individual abilities. I'm glad you seem to think the same.

Do you have, however, any specific criticism? You said what I did well, but not poorly.

[Baron Magnus]

That's just it. I don't see anything in particular that you did poorly. Granted Aleister has been done quite a few times but in my eyes that should not be considered against the sheet's quality, which is quite high. At least that's my opinion.

[TQG Imaginatorious]

Ermenrîch: I think the combining of his nordic and germanic sources has caused a slight problem with the timeline cause does Gundrun and Svanhildr have longevity or something? Otherwise a good sheet as usual, can't wait to see your take on Dietrich when it finally arrives.

[Skull]

Sure, why not? Just think of it as comic-book time.

[Saron]

Ermenrîch: Ah, gotta love how German and Nordic folklore is so easily fitted together and not at all confusing from both a TM POV but a historical one as well! /s

I really like the imagery of that NP, skeleton horses ripping someone to pieces is, evocative to say the least.

Although that just reminds me how I've been stalling on my Orvar sheets, which themselves aren't hard to do but summarizing his ridiculously weird lore that stretches across so much is very fun! I say through tears.

[Stillinneverland]

If I may:as well

Ermenrich: He's cool. A relatively simple and short Servant with a pretty distinct character. The Aptitude for Slaughter (Tools) skill is very cool from a flavor standpoint, and the WotOED also helps with the mental image. I do find it weird that he can't use the second NP but can "channel the power" of the first, but that's a minor point. He's also surprisingly polite without ME. Overall, it got ms wanting to read the other Dietrich characters.

[jishara]

"Heed not my appearance. I am She Saihua, the dowager general of the Yangs."

Class: Lancer
Other Classes: N/A
True Name: She Saihua
Alignment: Neutral Good
Place of Origin: Generals of the Yang Family
Stars: 4/5

Parameters:

STR: B
END: D
AGI: D
MGI: B
LCK: B
NP: C+

Height: 147cm
Weight: 159lbs
Likes: Commanding armies, justice, family
Dislikes: Traitors
Talent: Commanding armies
Natural Enemy: Pan Mei, Xiang Yu
Attribute: Man
Traits: Humanoid, Female, Weak to Enuma Elish
Armament: Dragon Head Cane
Catalyst: A cane carved to looklike a dragon

Class Skills:

Magic Resistance C: Magic resistance possessed by one who battled magic in life, although she lived in the age past the Age of Gods magic was still powerful granting her this rank of the skill.

"One must know every tactic, including magic."

Personal Skills:

The 100-Year-Old General A: A skill possessed by Lancer due to her status as a general who was active even past the age of 100, taking the role after her grandson, the previous general, died in battle. An increase in power the longer a battle carries on, as well as an increase in Endurnace to be able to last through battles more effectively.

"Loyalty to the country is worth more then retirement."

Duel In The Seven Star Temple B: The famous duel Lancer did with her soon-to-be-husband, Yang Ye, who was renowned as one of the greatest warriors of the age. Lancer was well on the upper hand before Yang Ye cleared up the confusion. The blessings of the temple remain on her, guiding light shining forth like a path of stars to form an ability akin to Revelation. This starlight can also be directed by Lancer as a distraction.

"Never forget the advantages you have. Never neglect them."

Prosecution of the Unfaithful General C: After Pan Mei killed Lancer's family, she prosecuted him through the entire imperial courts, slapping countless penalties and several rank demoitons onto him and executions onto all those who assisted him. Whenever someone attacks her or her allies, she can levy removal of Charisma-type skills and debuffds to strength and endurance onto them.

"Traitors deserve every penalty."

Noble Phantasm(s):

Ganzhe Long Hong
Dragon Head Cane

Type: Anti-Unit
Rank: C+
Range: 10 meters
Max Targets: 1 target

The Dragon Head Cane Lancer received from the emperor upon taking seat as the general. A powerful mystic code, a cane tipped with a sharp point that Lancer wields as her primary weapon, as well as uses to help her get around. The barb is capable of channeling the power of lightning, either from the point or the dragon head on the handle akin to a low-tier Dragon Breath. But when the true name is called, the lightning coalesces, Lancer taking a transformation for a brief period into a titanic and elegant dragon formed of pure electricity. However, she is unsuited for this so the form disappears within a minute, just long enough for a devastating attack.

Lore: She Saihua, the Dowager of the Yang Family, was a Chinese general noted in the work Generals of the Yang Family. She was the wife of General Yang Ye, and was noted for her impressive fighting power as well as her taking the leadership of the family after the death of her grandson, leading the family to much success.

Personality: A serious and dignified person. She doesn't love it when people underestimate her, but likes to take advantage of their estimations by having them duel her, before wielding her spar to masterfully win the battle. However, she does favor being the tactician or general rather than being in an all-out fight.

Relationships:

Lady Xian: "How very impressive. I believe you would be a good ally."

Qin Liangyu: "More interesting than expected."

Xiang Yu: "...How?"

[jishara]

"Hello. What hazard has existed now?"

Class: Assassin
Other Classes: N/A
True Name: Hannie Schaff
Alignment: Chaotic Good
Place of Origin: Netherlands (20th Century)
Stars: 2/5

Parameters:

STR: D
END: D
AGI: D
MGI: D
LCK: D
NP: C

Height: 179cm
Weight: 150lbs
Likes: Spying, liberty, communism
Dislikes: Nazis, authoritarianism
Talent: Spying
Natural Enemy: Queen Juiliana, Marten Kuiper
Attribute: Man
Traits: Humanoid, Female, Weak to Enuma Elish
Armament: Pistol
Catalyst: Photograph that's completely red

Class Skills:

Presence Concealment B: Presence concealment suitable for spying extremely effectively. Disguising herself as innocuous parts of the background or eliminating her presence entirely is easily capable for Assassin.

"Freedom shall perpetually rule."

Personal Skills:

Ik Schiet Beter C: It was said that at the end of her life, Assassin's executioners shot her but merely grazed her, upon which she jeered Ik Schiet Beter, I shoot better. A combination of Marksmanship and Protection from Arrows, every time Assassin is attacked by a ranged weapon her accuracy grows even better than its already good standard to nigh-supernatural levels and all ranged attacks against her get less accurate.

"You can't outsnipe me."

Shapeshift (Espionage) B: Famously, Assassin several times during her life changed her distinguishing features to enable further espionage, most notably wearing constant glasses and dying her hair permanantly black. The capacity for Assassin to scramble her features. Every time she does so, she goes under Espionage until her next revealed identity.

"No one can trace me down this time."

Assassination Techniques C: Assassin's effective assassinations and sabotage, the main thing she did throughout her career working for the Council of Resistance. The capacity to spot weak points in both people and items, making it easier for her to sabotage items or to use effective blows against the people. Limited by the power of the people and items.

"Three, two, one... there.:

Noble Phantasm(s):

Chroma Achroma
Girl With The Red Hair


Type: Anti-Unit
Rank: C
Range: 10 meters
Max Targets: 1 target

The manifestation of her work in the Council of Resistance and her infamy amonng the Nazis, noted as the "girl with the red hair" and placed onto their Most Wanted list. When the true name of this noble phantasm is called, color drains from the surrounding world besides her hair, all going into her pistol, which grows into a sniper rifle. She then releases a bullet powered by the color of the world that breaks through resistances, physical and mental, below the rank of this Noble Phantasm, and induces a mild fear effect in all other enemies around.

"I shall pierce through even the light to destroy the shadows."

Lore: Hannie Schaff, the Girl with the Red Hair, was a Dutch sniper and freedom fighter during world war 2. After the occupation of the Netherlands, she went into hiding, taking several of her jewish friends with her, and shortly joined the Raad van Versten, an affiliate of the Dutch Communist Party. She worked as a sabotager and assassin who killed Nazis and collaborators. She was eventually caught and executed at the age of 24. She became an icon for her party.

Personality: A formal person who deeply fits the image of that of a "cold sniper". However, she refuses to hurt children or those that she views as genuinely good people, only wishing to attack those who she views as evil. She doesn't love the battle itself, rather just feeling it as a necessity to destroy those who wish to attack others. Her wish for the grail is to have been able to live longer and help more.

Relationships:

Louise Michel: "Anarchism. Interesting."

Kawakami Genzai: "Sword. Or gun."

Gao Jianli: "...You can be sniped."

Micheletto Corella: "Loyalty... a virtue or a vice."

Peggy Shippen: "I suppose... I may not agree, but I understand."

[Random]

RIDER

Basic information

Type: Heroic Spirit
True Name: Uilebheist Loch Nis
also called: Niseag
Gender: Male
H/W: 350cm/500kg (varies)
Alignment: True Neutral

STR	A	MAG	B+
END	A+	LUK	C
AGI	B+	N.P	B

Traits

Animal
Niseag possesses the characteristics of all kinds of animals, though primarily aquatic species.

Demonic Beast
Niseag is one of the world’s most famous individuals of any Phantasmal Species, and certainly holds the most renown of its particular genus. With a lifespan of over a thousand years, he has reached the Millennium Rank.

Wild Animal
As Niseag was never tamed by human beings, his pride as a monster among monsters is unbroken. You could say he’s on a high horse.

Skills

Riding EX
Niseag, strictly speaking, does not “ride”. However, the combination of his particular Shapeshift with the Rider class means that he is simultaneously the rider and the mount, and so the Riding skill has become extremely scrambled. In short, he can ride anything that he would be capable of transforming into himself, but this is a moot point when he can simply turn into it.

Magic Resistance A+
As a Phantasmal who has lived for centuries upon centuries, his resistance to Magecraft is naturally most supreme. Negates spells of Rank A or below, and thus Niseag cannot be harmed by modern Magecraft.

---

Shapeshift B
Niseag is the definitively supreme specimen of the each-uisge: a species that is inherently capable of changing its form into a number of shapes, including handsome young men and enormous birds. In addition, because his legend has grown to include the attribute of an uncertain morphology, a vast array of new forms have been granted to him as a Servant under the guise of “alternative explanations for the Loch Ness Monster”, including eels, sharks, and even the likes of mist and extinct dinosaurian species. He is a strong candidate for the top shapeshifter of the British Isles because of this.

As a Servant, his “default form” takes the chaotic shape of a centaur knight with a number of supplemental body parts from various marine species, both obscuring his identity and granting him a number of natural weapons that he can wield in a manner reminiscent of the many-armed asura of the east. Incidentally, his capacity to transform into a human is part of the reason that a Phantasmal like himself can become a Heroic Spirit in the first place. The form of the knight that he usually takes is armed and armoured with the bones of ancient aquatic animals, brimming with Mystery, and so are measured as physical and magical protection equal to his rank in Shapeshift in their own right. Although being able to form any weapon he wishes from these materials is a potentially terrifying ability, what is even more terrifying is his durability. Animals do not use weapons, but it is quite common for them to have some kind of natural armour, and when combined with Niseag’s naturally high Endurance parameter and Magic Resistance, he is practically a mobile fortress.

When necessary, Niseag takes his human form of choice: a handsome man with an indifferent yet alluring gaze. In short, he is deliberately trying to appeal with the aesthetic of an angsty brooding type. Because his haughty and arrogant personality does not change even a little, it is up for debate whether this strategy is suitable for him or not.

Natural Monster EX
A skill denoting - as the name implies - one’s status as a monster. As a Demonic Beast with such great age and prominence, Niseag’s rank is obviously exceptional. A tremendous bonus equal to A++ is applied to two parameters, but the parameters in question are variable, and can be selected by Shapeshift due to the ambiguity of his true form.

Presence Concealment B
Without any particular need for explanation, Niseag has the ability to hide his presence as a Servant. As an Assassin, the Rank would be significantly higher. The Rank drops when preparing to attack. In Niseag’s case, his Noble Phantasm can also cause the Rank to increase when someone is actively seeking him out, making surprise attacks very effective against enemy aggressors.

Noble Phantasm

The River Overtakes the Land

Tha Loch Nis Ann

Anti-Land
Rank E

In modern times, Loch Ness has become synonymous with its monster, and it can be said to be possibly the most famous lake in the world simply because of this legend. As such, it is unsurprising that Loch Ness itself is the Noble Phantasm of its monster.

An exceedingly simple Noble Phantasm that, once its True Name is released, will simply transmute the area into a body of freshwater. More specifically, the concept of “Loch Ness” is applied to the field, turning it into an open body of freshwater as far as Niseag determines the “boundary of this place” to be. It is connected to the tale of the formation of Loch Ness itself, in which it originated from a pure and holy spring – thus, the water cannot be tainted, and it is brimming with magical energy.

While this is not particularly impressive or versatile as an ability, many opponents would probably consider it quite troublesome to suddenly find themselves in the middle of a vast lake.

---

Phantom Lake Serpent

Uilebheist Loch Nis

Anti-Unit (Self)
Rank C

The sublimation of the amorphous nature of the Loch Ness Monster. Ordinarily, it is a continuously active Noble Phantasm that has the effect of granting substantial bonuses to his Shapeshift and Presence Concealment skills. However, if in a body of freshwater, such as the one created by Tha Loch Nis Ann, the True Name of this Noble Phantasm can be released - the height of Niseag’s shapeshifting ability, achieved by becoming one with the water in which it dwells and treating it as though it were its own body. That said, even if Tha Loch Nis Ann is convenient for the use of this ability, it is manifested using Niseag’s own magical energy, and so it is more effective to make use of a natural body of water and the magical energy within it than to combine the two Noble Phantasms.

As the mythology of Loch Ness and the Loch Ness Monster are inseparable, so too does the body of water become inseparable with the body of the beast, allowing Niseag to regenerate from the water and to manipulate it using its Shapeshift skill. It can even create a facsimile of the Dragon-Kind, a worthy shape for one of the greatest aquatic Phantasmals in the world and one that can be said to be the crown for the King of Rivers.

Personality

Likes: Acknowledgement
Dislikes: Challengers
Talents: Strong sense of self
Image colour: Green copper

The Loch Ness Monster does not have a proper name, but has no particular qualms being referred to with the nickname of Niseag that humans have given to him, considering it a marker of recognition.

Niseag’s magical energy consumption is as high as a top-class Berserker, and he has no interest in attempting to make himself any easier to handle on a Master who has trouble with that. On the contrary, he takes the audacity of a human daring to summon him as a challenge, and he has no qualms pushing them to their limits to sustain his strength. In return, he will make the most of that strength and absolutely refuse to be defeated so long as his summoner is making good on their half of the pact. He is neither fond of humans, nor does he dislike them, and he will assess them as a nuisance if pushed to judge them in their entirety.

His personality is difficult and demanding, but his arrogance can largely be calmed with the likes of good food and displays of deference. In that respect, he is almost like a dragon, but he has some distaste toward the comparison: according to him, a dragon is the incarnation of greed, whereas he does not demand anything other than the absolute basics. However, he will make no bones about demanding those basics at the absolute highest quality, and has little interest in the subpar. Rather than demanding tribute or offerings like some kind of deity, he considers himself to be demanding a fair price for his presence amongst the Master’s noisy, irritating species.

He has a special interest in beautiful women, but he is not particularly discriminating about the details, so he will include beautiful men if they are sufficiently comparable. Of course, this comes from the man-eating instincts of an each-uisge first and foremost, so he is openly dismissive of things like romance. That said, he isn’t that interested in eating them either from what it looks like, and he brushes off humans of the modern era as lacking in nutritive value, but he seems to draw energy and enthusiasm from their presence, so who knows what he might be thinking.

If he ever got his hands on a wish-granting device, he would probably use it to remove the artificial structures and pollution from his home. Despite his affect of a king, he is fundamentally an animal, so his highest desires are ultimately rather humble.

Legend

There is a moderate degree of folklore surrounding Loch Ness, but the first attestation of a monster was recorded in the writings of the monk Eunan in the 6th century - shortly after the fall of Camelot. At that time, the monster featured as a fairly ordinary example of a water-beast tale, and was largely indistinguishable from other each-uisge. It was recorded as an antagonist to St Columba in the tale, but it was not slain, only banished back to the water.

Phantasmal Species in Britain had to retreat to the Reverse Side of the World after the disappearance of True Ether from the modern age, and so that would ordinarily have been the end of the story. However, paradoxically, the monster returned to Loch Ness to be spotted as late as the 19th century. How it re-emerged is not entirely clear (although Magecraft was almost certainly involved, as the Mage’s Association registers this event as having occurred). The sightings of this re-emergence managed to leak into the public consciousness over the next fifty years, and so the legend of the Loch Ness Monster was born. Between hoaxes and legitimate scientific inquiry, there had been a number of attempts to locate and pin down the monster, but these efforts largely have not borne fruit, and “Nessie” is considered an urban legend with no merit in modern times.

The Loch Ness Monster is here now as a Heroic Spirit - in other words, as an individual who has been sublimated by worship after his death. He does not care to discuss the details.

Author's Note

Left has a point, it's not literally illegal to not even bother with the pretty colours. My own template was really starting to get on my nerves since this was already written and I just needed to plug it in, and it kept breaking and there was so much more work to do and I just got exhausted. Simplified down the formatting massively, but it is what it is. I'm sure some people will prefer it this way, and I'm sure some people will consider the work worse because it's not as visually striking. So it goes.

[TQG Imaginatorious]

Oh hey, Random has dropped a new shee-
*Sees the face claim* Holy shit!
*Then sees the true name* WHAT!?
*And sees his human form*


... But seriously that is a hell of a face claim, where did you get it from? And maybe it's just me but I really like the lack of BB codes, it's refreshing and easier to read than your normal style on the phone. Also, I'm surprised that Tha Loch Nis Ann doesn't also give Niseag a land boost like Semiramis on her garden though I can see that it could make him op.

[Random]

... But seriously that is a hell of a face claim, where did you get it from?

It's a design for a boss from Jaeger Sixth! Honestly, the centaur was kind perfect for an each-uisge, so I jumped on it immediately.

Also, I'm surprised that Tha Loch Nis Ann doesn't also give Niseag a land boost like Semiramis on her garden though I can see that it could make him op.

It sort of does if you take into account that it allows him to deploy his second Noble Phantasm anywhere. In my head, Nessie and the Loch are so intertwined that he's basically carrying his own ideal land with him at all times, which is why he's so jacked to begin with.

[TrueMrMultiverse]

Great servant Random-did not expect a relation to Nessie. Would have liked it more with the template but it’s understandable why ya didn’t use it. His human form is also really nice and both his NPs synergising is great!

[Leftovers]

I have something to say on the secondary matter at hand but I have the terrible habit of talking about how things ought to be while not doing anything constructive myself, so I will at the very least contribute by first telling a creator what I would've done in his place. Golly, there's no difference, is there.

So, good concept for a rare case of modern mythopoeic mystery - it gives me pause to consider how and why this could work. There is enough meat on the Nessie myth that when you stuff it with the each-uisge the concept holds up to scrutiny as a Heroic Spirit that is essentially formed by human consensus hanging a new nameplate on a legitimate-by-Nasuverse-terms creature, and I like its personality too. It is much more Nasu-believable and elegant than a TM-ified Loch Ness monster taken at face value. My problem is that the myth that powers belief that forms the HS is not really expressed, and what is given is basically a perfectly fine sheet for an elemental. I think that Nessie needs to weigh in more explicitly, not by pulling the concept one way while the each-uisge pulls the other, but by synthesis. In this essay, I will:

Spoiler:

Ok so I actually don't know shit about the Loch Ness monster beyond the very basics but what needs to be paid off is the sense of the transformative element (the myth of Nessie) and how it is adapted to the unalterable essence of its template (the each-uisge's wikipedia page). I think this is an angle that should've been explored more on the basis of the NPs feeling almost reticent to explain what they actually do, which is more often than not an indication of the concept of "the essence of the myth crystallised and expressed" not being fully realised (or that the figure in question shouldn't be a Servant, but that's not a terribly helpful observation). It's a Kojirou-type deal, so it would be productive to see which part contributes what to the grand picture.

My suggestion is to consider, on the basis of the mechanics that make Nessie and the-thing-I-will-call-horse-instead-of-copypasting-every-time "a legend that is important to humans" and "the thing that spooked people around lakes before Nessie", what the core characteristics of these two are and how they can be combined so that they justify their connection as concepts and within Nasu's mechanics and are then expressed in tandem. Obviously there's "spooky thing in a Scottish lake", but also "Protean" because it's not just the horse but people's opinions on what they see in Nessie (it's a plesiosaur/otter/fish/log/submarine/alien/etc). I also think the wiki article's detailed report on the varied tastes in prey among the horsies can be of use in hinting at how the Servant could play out as a character.

I'm now going to spitball ideas more to demonstrate the praxis of the above than to make any definitive suggestions. I expect Random would be able to do a much better job along the same lines.

So people enshrine the idea of "the Loch Ness monster" in its specific mass-circulated original creepypasta form and narrative, and the Throne grabs the closest real thing to a Scottish lake monster and stamps "Nessie" on its forehead - this means that the idea of Nessie is expressed through the horse's natural abilities, but the expression of those abilities is subordinate and affected by the concept tacked onto it.

There's the shared intrinsic connection to a lake. It could create its own lake, but I think there's no problem with requiring very specific summoning conditions for Heroic Spirits that are limited in scope to appear, because the sheet presupposes that this is how a Servant would look like if those conditions were somehow met anyway. I wouldn't require a HGW in Scotland, just one in a city that has a lake for Rider to make its home and haunt. Medea made it work (questionable statement), Rider can too.

The horse is a shapeshifter, but people look at Nessie and see whatever they think it is - therefore Rider changes its shape to whatever any given person (that is to say HGW participant) thinks it is (conveniently we don't need to delve too deep into how that works in a sheet). This may generate conflict for the proud elemental inside the creepypasta costume.

The horse crashes this ride with no survivors when it's near water and appears tame away from it, while Nessie has a habit of disappearing when people are looking for it - this can be expressed by a skill of duplicitous appearance in Servant and masters' stat-o-vision when inland or by tapping into Nessie's camera-and-sonar-shyness by making Rider unobservable to detection skills and stat screens, the aforementioned irregular Territory Creation knockoff personal skill for bodies of water, a Master-targeting strategy of appearing as a human/fellow Master/stray Servant looking for a Master/whatever people would find attractive or fascinating (transformation again) in which it lulls them to security before killing them, really sticky H-scenes, you name it.

The horse can be picky with its food - maybe Rider doesn't like the middle-aged guy who summoned it and would prefer to find a cute anime girl Master instead, so it can groom and be groomed and act the nice obedient Servant before it eats her. We're not writing the actual story featuring Rider here, just giving enough to the reader to embellish the idea of how it would work.

Most importantly, the horse and the monster hide in the lake, but only one of them can be lured into appearing when it doesn't want to be found. Irregular Presence Concealment with a built-in fatal flaw that cannot be stricken from the horse's nature covers it. A silver bullet, metaphorical or literal. Imagine a weakness to bridles, finally Medusa has a good matchup.

So we have a nasty elemental of the waters who was summoned to fill in for the Loch Ness monster and scoffs at the downgrade. It may shapeshift of its own accord and may (in)voluntarily do so in a way specific to its beholder. It may actively seek a Master it wants to serve (on a platter) and it may gain magical energy preferentially by eating muggles. It makes a lake in the HGW's locale its home and enjoys advantages in and around it, but it can be cheesed in a specific way. And because this is anime it moonlights as a bishie. At least one of these needs to be an NP, but NPs express the myth and the myth is the Loch Ness monster, so there really is no other option except rolling lake requirement/territory creation/presence concealment into one package and making it a Noble Phantasm, bypassing the need to justify Rider having the class skills of other Classes to pestering nerds. This makes the formative HS myth the crystallised centerpiece and leaves Skills and personality free to sketch out the underlying elemental, satisfying the premise.

Oh, and I would turn Riding into a beautiful em dash instead of EX to denote a null value class skill, because the alternative is "has a lot of sex, riding rank is EX" logic.

Sure, let's call that criticism or something. Now for my actual point.

Left has a point, it's not literally illegal to not even bother with the pretty colours. My own template was really starting to get on my nerves since this was already written and I just needed to plug it in, and it kept breaking and there was so much more work to do and I just got exhausted. Simplified down the formatting massively, but it is what it is. I'm sure some people will prefer it this way, and I'm sure some people will consider the work worse because it's not as visually striking. So it goes.

I believe writing fanfic means doing what feels right and good to you even if someone else may consider it absolutely vomitworthy. If the visual aesthetics of Servant sheets is a big part of what gets someone's rocks off then it's no skin off their back if I puke from my eyes at their Rio Carnival posts, as obviously it makes them feel that their work is fully realised. That's one dimension of it, but from the side of the audience I believe it's the smaller one. The bigger part of the BBCode meta is that it is a meta and by extension a convention that is part of the thread's culture. I think it doesn't bear explaining how not using fancy code can be seen not just a skill issue but as a stylistic statement from those who have distinguished themselves as creators, or a lack of effort on the part of those who have not. I think I've lurked enough discussions among regulars to know that I'm not talking out of my ass here. Obviously it's not for me to say for sure whether there is a skill barrier or a perceived BBCode style tribute each sheet must pay to be legit, so I won't comment on that.

I also wouldn't say a good idea has to stand on its own legs with or without bling - the survey showed that no two people can be expected to agree on what is a good idea for a Servant, let alone how much that determines the quality of the overall experience of reading a sheet. What I can say is that in addition to being an aesthetic choice, a sheet's presentation always exerts an influence on its overall narrative. Well whoop-de-doo that's obvious innit, pretty colours for cute precious babbies, dark colours for the cold hatred of the avengers, collapse tags to show things when I want them to be seen, Pretenders be clickbaiting, gacha simulations be making you leftclick twenty times like you're tapping a phone screen, so on so forth. Yeah, it sure is - so shouldn't the functionality of sheet presentation be considered in terms of whether an idea or concept could have its meaning conveyed through complex presentation or not? Because if it can't, the only need to agonise over presentation is an aesthetic one, and for some people that's not a good enough reason not to post an otherwise finished sheet (Random's is a case in point).

Maybe Rider's sheet can be decked out in green blue and grey for the watery seaweedy highlandy theme but the first layer of the sheet is a collapse-tagged screenshot of the sheet with its stats obscured by a mist effect which disappears when clicked, not only further evoking the intended image but expressing visually how the obscuration effect works and how a Master would see it themselves (example here). Maybe the NP is written in a table whose font and background mimic an old-timey typewritten report as a nod to the era and origins of the monster's legend. Maybe the faceclaim is plugged to one of those services that people used to use for forum signatures which rotated the image shown from a pool of URLs so that each reader gets a different image of Rider, just how its shapeshifting skill works. Presentation that realises and enhances the narrative, you get the idea.

I don't think that simple is best or that BBCode has gone too far - on the contrary, I'm happy that this forum lets people do creative things in a way that no other place can. I just think that when it begins to feel like complexity is a requirement and extravagance is a standard, it makes sense to take a step back to consider what these things do for you and what purpose they serve, and find the occasions where you can get the most out of them.

And sorry that I used you as a springboard, Random.

[Leftovers]

Phantasmal Species in Britain had to retreat to the Reverse Side of the World after the disappearance of True Ether from the modern age, and so that would ordinarily have been the end of the story. However, paradoxically, the monster returned to Loch Ness to be spotted as late as the 19th century. How it re-emerged is not entirely clear (although Magecraft was almost certainly involved, as the Mage’s Association registers this event as having occurred). The sightings of this re-emergence managed to leak into the public consciousness over the next fifty years, and so the legend of the Loch Ness Monster was born. Between hoaxes and legitimate scientific inquiry, there had been a number of attempts to locate and pin down the monster, but these efforts largely have not borne fruit, and “Nessie” is considered an urban legend with no merit in modern times.

The Loch Ness Monster is here now as a Heroic Spirit - in other words, as an individual who has been sublimated by worship after his death. He does not care to discuss the details.

wait, I think I skipped this

welp, consider my second paragraph factually misaligned el em ey oh

[Random]

Don't apologise, I like hearing people's thoughts on this kind of thing and I'm pleased to have prompted it. It's a good post.

Since I pretty much agree with your overall assessment of the big picture, my contribution to this subject is probably best explained in the form of my personal experiences, and why I do my template the way I do it. Obviously, the presentation communicates something with its colours and its fonts and decals and such, and that's all fine and good in itself, but my main motive for using a specific template is to indicate that not all of this exists in a vacuum. I've made things before that deliberately fuck with the template in some way or another, some subtly and others not so much (I've even used some of the formatting tricks you suggested on other sheets), in order to try to express that these are all within some kind of continuity.

I didn't do it this time basically out of laziness - I'm having a time of it recently and I want something to show for myself, so in that regard, this is a rushed product and one that I went into having resolved to flesh out later down the line - hence I can pretty easily agree with the core of your initial critique that this is not quite fully manifest.

I do kind of feel an obligation, by default, to use my BBCode, since a lot of the praise I've received is about how nice it looks. Which is both nice to hear, and also kind of bites, speaking as someone whose self-image is that of a writer first and foremost. Does it come off as a skill thing? From the outside, probably. Is it a skill thing? Not really, I feel. Outside collapse tag nesting (which only exists because I don't like taking up too much space when people are trying to scroll), my template's code isn't that complicated compared to a lot of other posters, and the fact that it's a template means that I don't really do much about 2/3 of the time. And I think that applies to a lot of people, but I don't think that it's bad that it does - there's the age-old rule of thumb about familiarity vs exoticism, after all, and it's nice as a reader to have something to latch onto as a framework.

BBCode meta sticks to Servants easily because Servants are also, by design, rote by default. Some are unique and break the mould, but the mould was undeniably created on purpose. Good thing? Bad thing? Both? Neither? I don't really care about assigning a "moral value" to it, but I know I can take advantage of it to create a sense of continuity and at least a facade of individuality. Since my project right now is a continuity, the presentation of a template is a conveniently non-invasive tool.

I think I would care about it less and slap together a different style for each thing I make if I wasn't trying to fence everything I make in together. Maybe if/when I stop doing that, I'll be more inclined to latch onto a larger variety of presentations. I do certainly like the idea of it, and it's something that I wish other people would do, but I'm deliberately adhering to self-imposed limitations here. If I started trying to trailblaze, I'd be a turkey calling for Christmas.

Of course, when I do have more freedom to do things outside of more mechanically restrictive things like Servants (e.g. Magus sheets), they're quite unpopular, but the point still stands that I think the relationship between the mechanics of the quasi-RPG systems of TM lore and the inherently mechanical presentational options of 2010s Gaming Forum Post is fertile ground to grow things even while they torture each other more than I have this metaphor

edit: realising i hyperfocused on a really specific part of that post and got distracted before i could get to the rest of it but it's coming up closer to 5am every second so i will summarise my thoughts on the spoilered section overall by saying that many of these ideas i like, including the throughline of "elemental first, servant second". i dont think i would have been able to do that with this one specifically because of Reasons but i am planning a certain Caster-Gunner for whom i shall consider aspects of this approach

[Anju Addams]

Another one of my old sheets from back in the day to fill out my blog collection. I sort of hate this one these days and would probably redo it in the future. Meh.

MISS MARPLE

Class: Assassin
Alternate Classes: Caster, Ruler
True Name: Miss Marple
Titles: Jane Marple, Aunt Jane, Nemesis
Sex: Female
Origin: Fictional (Agatha Christie’s Miss Marple)
Alignment: Lawful Evil
Attribute: Man
Armament: A Beam-Shooting Mystic Code (Magnifying Glass), Various Poisons
Manifestation Cost: Low


Likes: Professor James Moriarty, Sherlock Holmes, A Certain Belgian Detective
Dislikes: Being Bored, Crimeless Areas
Talents: Deducing Crimes, Solving Mysteries, Crafting Murders, Cooking
Natural Enemy: Sherlock Holmes, A Certain Belgian Detective
Holy Grail Wish: To Create More Crimes For Her to Solve

Relationship Comments:

Sherlock Holmes: How absolutely splendid, Master! It’s simply delightful to see Mr. Holmes around here…and rather happy too I might add! The last time I saw him, well, he wasn’t doing too well, especially with that nasty Moriarty business he had going on. Plunged himself right over a cliff, if I recall correctly!

In any case, it certainly is good to see him up and about with a spring in his step. Hmmm…you know, I might have to find a new case to work on, one that we can both solve together. Mr. Holmes and Miss Marple! A wonderful pair, don’t you agree?

Jack the Ripper: Well now…I must admit, even I did not guess that you were but a child! Still, I was long after your time, of course, and I could not have known. In any case, your work still fascinates me, yes indeed! I would have loved solving your crimes, and figuring you out, I would! I know what you are now, of course…you cute little wraith! Hahaha!

Actually, you remind me of my niece, Mabel West. She was about your age when she became a detective herself, after working with that Belgian fellow…

Professor James Moriarty: I’m such a big fan of Professor Moriarty’s work! I only wish I could have been around to help Mr. Holmes solve such a case and see Professor Moriarty in action. It must have been incredible, but I was much younger at that time and wasn’t able to do everything I wanted. Eh...what do you mean I’m young now, Master?

W-Well...this is my prime! Excuse me for not wanting to be old and wrinkled anymore! How rude! Someone needs to teach you manners and give you a good hard spanking!

Parameters:

Strength: E
Endurance: E
Agility: E
Mana: C
Luck: B
NP: C+

Biography:

The most famous female detective in the world –– who used the knowledge she acquired during her youth in the quaint village of 'St. Mary Mead,' to solve and understand an array of crimes –– as penned in the fictional stories of Agatha Christie’s creation. A ‘harmless’ old lady that was no threat to the criminals that she met –– until she proved to be their absolute undoing.

Miss ‘Jane’ Marple.

As described within Agatha Christie’s detective novellas –– where she first appeared in the 1927 publication ‘The Tuesday Night Club’ –– she was a shrewd old woman who could not help investigating and butting into incidents in which she had ‘no place,’ alongside the assistance of her various relatives and maids, who were more than willing to lend a hand on her wild adventures –– from her small cottage home in St. Mary Mead –– as she solved wrongdoing after wrongdoing.

A certain example of a brilliant detective equal to the legendary figure written of in the books of Conan Doyle –– is her identity –– an infamous and beloved fictitious legend, held in the hearts of a hundred thousand souls, who eagerly devoured Agatha Christie’s works with no signs of stopping –– which has elevated her existence to that of a ‘Heroic Spirit.’

But…is that really the truth?

As stated by Christie herself, the character of Miss Marple should be nothing more than words on paper –– crafted from the inspiration of Christie’s aunt, ‘Margaret Miller’ ––someone who existed neither in historical fact, nor as a ‘Heroic Spirit.’ Despite such a situation, since she has become a ‘Heroic Spirit,’ could there exist a possibility, that she was indeed someone who actually lived and died within the historical records of England that was mistakenly recorded as ‘fiction’ by Christie, whilst writing a biography? Or was she indeed just a fragment of a genius writer’s imagination –– meant to please the masses?

Of course, one must know that it is definite fact that 'St. Mary Mead' –– where Miss Marple was said to live and work –– did not actually exist at all within the current ‘common-sense of man.’

Thus, what is the truth behind her appearance as a ‘Heroic Spirit?’

Only Miss Marple knows the answer to that unsolvable riddle and she herself makes claims of her actual history as if she were a real person –– only to turn and describe herself as fictional in the span of the same sentence.

In either case, it is easy to notice that she does not act exactly like the version written by Agatha Christie did –– lending further credence to the idea that she was an actual historical figure –– as she is effectively a criminal herself, excited and delighted by the various horrors and murders she faced during her life and beyond, always eager to search out more –– and perhaps –– only slightly –– cause them herself…

Personality:

The existence of herself at the prime of her life –– in her teenage years –– instead of appearing as her most famous self, an old woman with a sharp wit none can match. She will enthusiastically take part within the War and listen to her Master without question, as long as she has a good puzzle to figure out.

One who seems like a ‘Hero of Justice’ fighting for the side of the rightful law –– who is kind to children and adults, helping them with their problems.

But...she can be called an ‘evil soul’ once one has disregarded her actions in solving cases and bringing peace to the innocent by having murderers and criminals arrested, as she is, fundamentally, a person that does not believe in ‘bringing justice’ or ‘helping people’ in the slightest –– as she appeared to be, in the pages of Agatha Christie’s stories.

Rather, she is someone who enjoys the crafting of riddles and mysteries, delighting in understanding them, regardless of who has to die or get harmed –– so long as she is able to bear witness to the results. A detective that does not wish to catch criminals to 'save lives' but rather, one who does so because it is 'fun.' She does not care about the incidents or how terrible and gruesome they may be, and she cannot empathize with those that do, often going out of her way to find murderers and criminals to discover that an illegal act has been committed, so that she does not get bored, without reporting the information to the authorities.

While she was ‘technically’ a ‘moral’ person in life, who would not harm a single soul –– living only for the thrill of the chase –– she no longer holds that ideal and will commit murder herself in order for her wishes to be granted. She will not refuse to harm those unaware of the War such as mundane humans if asked to do so, though she will care if a crime towards them is committed –– when she is witness to the act, at which point she will intervene to prevent further incidents. On the other hand, she will not commit actions of harm against children, nor pursue any other criminal activities.

Speaking of her wish, ‘I want more crimes to be committed, so that I can keep solving them’ is what she desires from the Holy Grail itself.

Class Skills:

Presence Concealment: ––

A skill that represents the capacity to hide one's presence as a Servant –– often useful for spying on others and catching Masters unawares.

Even though she is a member of the Assassin-Class, this skill has been permanently removed –– in favour of the skill ‘Espionage.’ Thus, it cannot be used, no matter the situation or trouble she finds herself in.

Personal Skills:

Natural Insight: B+

A skill granted to those that were talented in the art of observation and perception. It is the ability to grasp the true ‘essence’ of things, allowing for a level of observation that does not overlook information –– close to skills like ‘Clairvoyance’ and ‘Librarian of Stored Knowledge.’

A person in possession of the sharpest mind of all –– a necessity for a detective of her calibre –– is what Miss Marple has always been. One that relates all incidents to events in her neighbourhood and finds links through the gathering of clues and observing all that she knows –– a phenomenal inspector almost equal to a specific 'Baker Street' resident, solving crime after crime that came her way –– no matter its nature or how gruesome it was.

The epitome of a 'world-class' inspector –– from only a quaint little town –– a one-in-a-million chance existence that has yet to be replicated in the modern age.

Nothing will escape her attention, and everything will be observed –– down to the minutest of details –– recording them within her 'mind's eye,' useful for information collecting. Also, even if the principle is entirely different, performing a limited amount of foresight –– equivalent to seeing the future through 'Clairvoyance' –– is allowed, to predict and analyze her opponent's next move, and avoid harm for up to one minute.

Hypothetical Reasoning: A+

A skill unique to those who used the power of ‘deduction’ to create logical conclusions and scenarios, when deciphering what could be called otherwise ‘unsolvable’ mysteries –– such as murders and other transgressions. Effectively, it grants one the power to deduce and reason when they encounter any ‘evidence’ that they may find useful, coming to an accurate understanding of its true nature.

Miss Marple is a detective –– that is most certain. A crime-solver, searching out mysteries and puzzles all in order to decipher the hardest riddle of all –– human nature –– is Miss Marple's greatest gift, as one who was successful in understanding and working out even the most hidden secrets –– including the strangling of a train-riding citizen and the deliberate poisoning of a young woman –– and bringing the culprit to their ultimate fate.

An observation that makes it likely to understand all secrets –– including the 'True Names' of both Servants and Noble Phantasms –– such as an opponent's hidden nature, clouded by a set of skills. 'Information Erasure' is equally useless, and as long as evidence of their presence remains, learning their actual identity is easy enough for her.

Even the answer to the world's absolute 'Mystery,' –– known only to a certain consulting detective –– has been solved by her. Yet, for Servants bypassing their visible parameter knowledge through concealment-based skills and Noble Phantasms, a 'Luck' check is required to solve the 'puzzle,' as it were.

Espionage: A

A skill given to those who were able to pull off feats of great subterfuge –– by having the talent to draw suspicion away from themselves. It is not the skill to conceal one’s presence, but rather, it is the skill to hide one’s hostility and be seen as a harmless individual –– such as a kind neighbour or a beloved person.

'She's just a doddering old lady, so what harm could she possibly do?' –– these were the words and thoughts of a thousand guilty minds that met her once. A soul who appears 'absolutely harmless' giving her free reign to do as she wishes –– with no restrictions to her personage, allowing her to gather the information she needs. An integral part of her tale, that has been spun off into the literary world –– under a thousand imitators –– replacing 'Presence Concealment' entirely.

As long as she is not outed by allies, it becomes impossible to discern any level of hostility coming from her –– concealing her existence as a Servant –– as all will see her as 'just a silly girl' running around on the battlefield –– asking inane questions they feel somehow inclined to answer. A spy that does not need to hide, but instead appears in plain-sight –– free of suspicion.

By attacking directly –– even with poison –– the effect will be lost unless she retreats. In addition, those with an equal-level of deductive abilities or 'Discernment of the Poor' will see through her act in an instant –– and cannot be deceived.

Item Construction: D

A skill to manufacture magical items –– from implements of war, to items for daily use –– given to Caster-Class Servants, though it requires time to gather components and manufacture items for construction.

Miss Marple was not a Magus –– nor was she a craftsman, other than a cook. Still, a certain set of cases involving poison were solved by her –– a poison expert, relating from the field and from the household, where toxic substances were common on a daily basis –– using such a skill to catch the criminal, and bring them to justice at last. A mastery in that field, which allows her to craft those poisons, despite not being summoned in the Caster-Class. Countless poisons and toxic liquids like ‘cyanide,’ ‘strychnine’ and ‘arsenic’ can be crafted with various rituals and materials –– to poison enemies when not using ‘Espionage.’

Noble Phantasms:

U.N.Owen was Her?

An Absolutely Perfect Murder​

Rank: C
Type: Anti-Fate
Range: 1-99
Maximum Number of Targets: 100

An ability to craft what could be called the ‘perfect’ murder through an alteration of fate itself to erase and alter evidence –– crafted and crystallised into a Noble Phantasm that she can call upon when she witnesses a duel or is brought into one herself.

A power birthed from the experience she learned in her legend, as one who was able to solve –– deduce –– many crimes and murders that seemed impossible to solve, even for the authorities –– despite having no degree or doctorate in forensic science. In that case, it could be said that it is also an ability created by the eventful incidents she observed in her home village of ‘St. Mary Mead’ with which she was able to relate to the crime scene. As she was witness to such horrific and gruesome affairs, she could understand the idea of committing an ‘unsolvable murder’ and make it her own –– bringing it to the level of a Noble Phantasm.

Upon utilization, when she has watched, killed or battled against an opponent, it becomes possible to effectively ‘remove and replace’ all evidence of her existence, even if one was watching the battle directly. It does not matter how the battle was resolved, as everything –– including memories, the culprit, the location and the opponent –– will be overwritten by the scenario she crafts, planting a number of clues accusing another individual as the person who 'committed the crime' instead.

A 'reality-alteration' manifestation of 'certain fact' that lays the blame on others –– which cannot be overturned once it has become the 'absolute truth' –– is the form it beholds. A malevolent falsification event in which the 'guilty' are 'guilty' –– and will proclaim as such, if caught –– warping fate to bring terrible ruin onto armies and allies, by crafting scenes of betrayal and fracturing trust.

However, it cannot change the fate of those who have and have not died –– only switch the results around with those who have already passed over –– while it is unable to bring about the actual Noble Phantasms or skills that actually killed them –– only replicating the proof of their abilities within the 'evidence' it provides.

Furthermore, any overuse of the Noble Phantasm –– in all combat rounds –– will result in 'cracks and holes' appearing within the framework, easing the ability to discern the actual events and seek the real truth.

As it is an ‘Anti-Fate’ Noble Phantasm, the act of replacing and altering memories within Servants is not nullified or rejected by any skills or Noble Phantasms that allow a level of mental resistance. Nevertheless, those with their own deductive abilities or a high-level of ‘Discernment of the Poor’ can see through the hoax when they encounter its results.

I Couldn’t Help But Notice…

There is Only One Truth!​

Rank: C+
Type: Anti-Unit
Range: 1-10
Maximum Number of Targets: 1

The crystallised manifestation of the idea that detectives always ‘tell the truth’ regardless of the circumstances and the common perception that they are ‘always right’ even when they are clearly wrong –– given to the one who is the epitome of a great detective, after it reached the ranks of a Noble Phantasm.

It is through the power of detectives –– even in the modern age –– that allows the authorities to lock up and bring to justice, those who have committed terrible crimes and bring peace to the public once more. In fact, it could be said, that without the existence of such ‘detectives’ and ‘forensic scientists’ gathering evidence and finding the tiniest of clues, there would be no force for good in the first place –– creating an invaluable role within society as a whole wherever injustice is rampant.

Yet, as is often the case, as long as there is significant ‘proof’ and the backing words of the detective, the guilty are ‘guilty’ –– no questions asked, often resulting in innocent incarcerations and further fatalities. While Assassin never used such a crude method in life and made it so that she was absolutely sure of the real culprit’s identity, she has no qualms about using this Noble Phantasm during a Grail War.

When utilized –– passing a successful 'Luck' check –– it births a 'hypnotic whisper' inducing a target into believing –– without a doubt –– that all the words coming from the current user, are effectively, the proper 'truth' and not lies.

Obviously, it cannot create or change the actual facts placed in front of them, and something fantastical and hard to believe, like the idea that ‘I have an EX-ranked Noble Phantasm which kills all Servants’ is impossible to be both believed and brought into existence as the honest word of Assassin –– and an object that she actually possesses.

Nonetheless, sentences like ‘We are allies,’ ‘They are the culprits!’ or ‘This isn’t poison’ are easy to understand and will affect the victim quickly for about twelve hours. As the memories and effects that took place during this time are removed, she may repeat the hypnotic effect as much as she wishes –– creating the perfect ‘human slave’ to do her bidding.

Those with a high-level of mental resistance skills, mental resistance Noble Phantasms, ‘Mad Enhancement’ and ‘Discernment of the Poor’ can resist this skill and they may see through all lies –– in spite of their believability.

[Shezum3]

Is it worth doing a profile of Yevgeny Prigozhin as a servant of the Berserker class? Or refrain?

[Skull]

Bruh, is his body even cold yet?

[Shezum3]

Officially, yes, he is dead. And this is the only thing in which I agree with the Kremlin propaganda, for Putin Prigozhin to keep alive is unprofitable and even dangerous.

[Skull]

...That's, not what I mean at all.