About your idea towards Ahura Mazda i would recommend that you perhaps try to make a true Divine servant as this and the other yazata Gods were former part of the anciient Iranian World .
I am apologise for the followiing joke
And because you said Icecicle after many years :welcome back Lambdado you Need perhaps a
to warm you up ?
Thats remind me that i work currently on a Shappur II the Great servant.
Your verified Chikara-production Studios !
Dont ship me with anyone unless i say so !
When you wake a Dragon in his Lair...
like always, cool sheet royd.
The imagery of white blood is something that never crossed my mind, but it really something special.
But I feel like there couldve been done more with the frame you set it in.
You mention that she was pregnant right at the end with her fusion, yet it seems like she isnt driven by that despite her being an expecting mother. In fact her innocent monster skill just seemed to be slapped onto the sheet without really incorporating it fully. I think IM is a skill that really influences the Servant and her being fused with a ghoul representing grudges of the women who died while giving birth. Either hate for child murderers or active hate for their own children that led to their demise could be a theme running through it. The fusion could explain too why she has (imo) one rank above what she should qualify as. But I personally compare her to C ranker Salieri and I think his story is more prominent than hers, so thats why i think for her rank D+ or something would fit better.
So I like the concept and frame and skills, but the theme could be deeper.
and now i feel like a blockhead, me with 5 sheets criticizing the Servant creating Machine that is Royd. Dio Santissimo Misericordia de mi
Fair enough about IM feeling tacked on. I didn't want to go too deeply into it because that part was my stretch from the original legend (to justify connecting her to the Pontianak), whereas it was just that her pregnancy drew suspicion from the villagers that she was having an affair rather than necessarily still being that way when she died. Mainly I just thought she was somewhat underpowered without it as she doesn't have any combat-experience and her only good attack-method is her NP. But I will consider taking your advise and adding to her personality section based on that. And lowering Avenger to D+ rank sounds reasonable. I wasn't sure about giving her straight Cs anyways.Originally Posted by DelRey
Also, don't worry about it, there's no rulea fake can't surpass the originalthat says someone whose made fewer sheets can't criticize someone whose made more. It's not a contest.
Last edited by RoydGolden; December 16th, 2020 at 07:43 PM.
Update: So I added another paragraph to Mahsuri's Personality section fleshing out the part you mentioned and ranked down her Avenger Skill. Any thoughts?
I like the imagery of her being like a mother to other kids. And her confusion is comparable to the Clytie situation. Her relationship with Jack The Ripper would be interesting to observe in chaldea.
And i think her connection with pontianak was a smart decision to level her up. The connection is clear in the Fateverse thats more than enough. I like that part
Don't worry there, it's not Yog.
Servant Berserker:
Appearance:
Source
True Name: "Viking of Stamford Bridge"
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
Alternate Class: Gatekeeper
Strength- A
Agility- D
Endurance- A+
Mana- D
Luck- C
NP- B
Personality
Class Skills:
Mad Enhancement- C
A Skill that characterizes the Berserker Class, ranking up parameters in return for a loss of sanity and/or hindering mental capacities. At this rank, all parameters save Luck and Mana are ranked up, but most of one's reason is lost. As Berserker is not normally "mad" this Skill merely expresses through her immense battle-lust. Upon entering combat, a savage fury takes hold of Berserker, driving her to attack everything around her heedless of enemy or ally. This fog only lifts once the battle comes to an end, after which Berserker will be greatly exhausted in both mind and body, requiring several hours to recover.
Personal Skills:
Last Stand- A++
A rare Skill held by those who became legendary for singlehandedly making an impossible last stand against crushing odds. Berserker's last stand at Stamford Bridge is possibly the most famous example of such in history, having held the line against five thousand Saxon warriors for almost a full hour before finally falling. As such she holds a great rank in this Skill.
In her case it serves as a composite of Battle Continuation, Knowledge Of Melee Combat and Demonic Defender Of State at rank A. Granting Berserker the skills to fight on even in the face of lethal wounds, hold her own amidst large crowds of foes and rank-up all her physical stats while defending a region she's designated as her "Bridge".
Uncrowned Arms Mastery- N/A
Denotes arms prowess that went unrecognized in one's lifetime for various reasons. To an observer looking at her stat sheet, all Berserker's stats and other Personal Skills appear a rank-down from their true values. Berserker possesses an unusual version of this Skill as while she performed legendary feats, they were never attributed to her true name which was lost to history. Berserker herself is merely a nameless Viking warrior, with only her word that she truly carried out the feats alleged to her. As such this effect isn't dispelled even if Berserker's "true name" (the Viking of Stamford Bridge) is revealed.
Protection From Fire And Iron- A
In the throes of their blood-frenzy the Nordic berserkers were said to be immune to both fire and iron. As the embodiment of mankind's image of a Viking berserker, Berserker obtains a Personal Skill drawing from this belief. At this rank, it equates to a localized Bounded Field surrounding Berserker's body that rejects the very concepts of fire and iron. She can walk through the hottest inferno without singing an eyelash, and iron swords will merely shatter harmlessly against her skin. Only attacks ranked A or higher, or a Noble Phantasm ranked B or higher can break through this defense.
Noble Phantasm
So here's another sheet from me. Since basically nothing is known about this figure other than their famous feat, I think a genderbend is fair enough. As usual comments and critiques would be welcome. Thanks for reading!
Last edited by RoydGolden; April 24th, 2023 at 05:34 PM.
another day, another sheet from royd. Where do you get all the servants from? And how long do you take to create them?
finally THA HANDO from jojo as a NP.
simple straight forward and nice sheet. I wouldve added an effect that prevents some mental interferences like intimidation or something like that, due to her sheer determination of surviving that long. And i dont know what its called, but there was a skill denoting one of fighting with the goal to die or something. do you think that would fit her character? I edit if i find the skill name, else i cant sleep tonight
btw in last stand "knowledge of melee combat" is missing the combat
Last edited by DelRey; December 17th, 2020 at 07:29 PM.
I tend to bounce Servant ideas around in my head for months before ever writing them up, so when I finally do get the inspiration it can look like I'm churning them out really fast. Yeah, her NP being kind of like The Hand occurred to me, though hers can only erase distance rather than physical matter so it's not a sure-kill in the same way (that said, just being a fuckhuge axe swung by someone with A-rank Strength means it can cut through most stuff anyways).
For an anti-mental interference Skill, Berserkers don't seem to have/need stuff like that, since Bravery is sealed my Mad Enhancement and all. I kind of imagine ME on its own normally blocks mental interference in some form when active. And the one you're thinking of is Angra's Murderous Intent Skill. I remember from using it for my Aristodemus sheet. Maybe it'd fit, but she's not really fighting to die as I see it but fighting not caring whether she lives or dies. If she lives, great, gets to keep fighting and win more glory, and if she dies, she gets to go out gloriously in battle, also great. Either option is a win for her. So while Berserker def plans on dying in battle someday, she's not really in a rush. That's why I don't think a Skill like that quite works for her. Maybe I didn't make that too clear in her Personality section though.
In any case, thanks for the feedback DelRey!
- - - Updated - - -
I actually thought the Skill's name was just Knowledge Of Melee. I'll correct that posthaste, thanks.
Weird question, but do you guys think there'd be anyone for which Clairvoyance (Digital) would be a valid skill? The primary issue with it is that that kind of mass digital surveillance is more of a modern phenomenon, so it'd probably only apply for someone fictional or concept-based, like the concept of "Big Brother" from 1984 or something. Does anyone have any ideas?
Maybe some famous pioneer of computers could have it (like Ada Lovelace), if you're going with the logic they're being conflated with the systems they laid the ground for. In general though you're right that digital surveillance is obviously a pretty modern concept, so you'd be hard-pressed to find Servants that embody it.
If you find a person that you could depict as "ultimate surveiller" with an affinity for the at that time modern technology I think a skill like that is possible. Like someone with an extensive spy network of sorts perhaps. It stretches it and you have to design the whole sheet around it. Or maybe use the LB5 story to introduce a character that could do that and sell the sheet as a Servant form that Lostbelt. Ad hoc i could imagine Hermes as someone that could fit it. Messaging and Infrastructural Unit Hermes or something like that. Yeah I like that concept
0
Last edited by Cursed by Fortuna; July 3rd, 2022 at 08:25 PM.
0
Wojtek: A literal bear as a soldier is inherently a funny idea, and you did justice to it pretty well in the sheet. I will say that for Magic Resistance, at E-rank it doesn't cancel spells at all but merely reduces the damage somewhat. If you want nullifying Single-Action spells that's D-rank. Also there's an unfinished sentence in his Riding description.
Last edited by RoydGolden; December 19th, 2020 at 02:42 PM.
I love the story of that bear. Its so cool. And you really did him justice, it is a good sheet for good bear Wojtek.
While reading I imagined him having an Ex-soldier as Master, who was scarred emotionally and lost all his friends during a war. During the HGW he could feel the loyalty again, seeing visions of his past friends when the company is summoned and the trust they have in wojtek and him and him mounting wojtek and using the rifle to shoot evil mobs. I would love to see such a story.
0
Last edited by Cursed by Fortuna; July 3rd, 2022 at 08:25 PM.
0
0
Last edited by Cursed by Fortuna; July 3rd, 2022 at 08:25 PM.
0
"Fear not, Commander! No matter how dark things may seem, the light of our revolution shall always prevail!"
Alter-Ego Of The Revolution:
Appearance:
Source
True Name: Nameless Patriot(?)
Alignment: Chaotic Good(?)
Armaments: Musket and cavalry sword. Alter-Ego can also summon a warhorse for use in mounted combat.
Strength- C
Agility- C-
Endurance- B
Mana- E
Luck- C
NP- C
Personality
Class Skills:
Unswaying Fealty- EX
A unique Class Skill of Alter-Ego. So long as she's fighting for someone she recognizes and pledges allegiance to, she gains + modifiers to all her stats. However if she's unable to follow their commands at any point, or ends up disobeying them, the benefits of this Skill are immediately lost unless she finds another "worthy person" to serve.
The basis for this Skill in Alter-Ego's legend is unclear, but it likely reflects her wish to "fight for another 'til my dying breath" that she never managed to fulfill in life.
Riding- B
The ability to ride animals and handle vehicles. At this rank, most mundane mounts can be ridden at a high degree of skill, but not Phantasmal or Divine Beasts. Many soldiers in the Continental Army fought on horseback, so naturally as the union of all of them Alter-Ego picked up a decent proficiency in it.
Personal Skills:
Military Tactics- C+
Tactical instinctive ability used not for one-on-one combat, but on a battlefield where armies are mobilized. Provides bonuses to using one's own Anti-Army Noble Phantasm, or defending against the Anti-Army Noble Phantasm of another. As the agglomeration of all souls who fought and died in service of her country, their collective knowledge and tactical prowess is imprinted upon Alter-Ego's Saint Graph, giving her a decent rank in this Skill.
Weak Constitution- C
Connotes a weakness struck from the nature of frail health. A case where the perceptions of people in the future affect the existence of the Heroic Spirit, akin to the Innocent Monster Skill.
For unknown reasons, Alter-Ego manifests as a Servant with her left leg crippled as if from shellfire. She claims that this is just a symbolization of the sacrifices many patriots made during the Revolution, breaking their very bodies for the cause of liberty. However, she'll get uncomfortable if anyone presses too much on the topic.
In any case, this Skill supplies a permanent rank-down to her Agility stat while on foot. This penalty is nullified when she's riding on a horse, restoring her Agility to its proper B-rank.
"My leg? You worry too much Commander! Even if my body gets broken apart, I promise I'll continue to be useful to you. Huh, whaddya' mean that sounded creepy?"
Mana Burst (Flames)- D+
A variant of Mana Burst, infusing one's weaponry and body with magical energy that imparts a fiery effect. Alter-Ego can channel momentary bursts of flame through her cavalry saber and musket, either setting the former ablaze for a melee attack or turning her shots into "fireballs". Naturally, a hero from near the modern day like Alter-Ego never had any aptitude for this Skill in life, but it's actually a partial release of one of her Noble Phantasms.
"Hmm, what Noble Phantasm you ask? Haha, you're being silly Commander! This is just a manifestation of my soul that burns brilliantly for my country!"
Self-Denial- A+
A strange Skill somewhat comparable to Innocent Monster, in that it is able to distort a Servant even after their life has ended simply through opinions of others. However, this Skill has the unique quality of being entirely self-inflicted. Granted to a Servant who was so convinced of seeing themselves in a particular light that they cannot be summoned in a way that does not conform to that perception of themselves. The high rank indicates this Skill has strongly shaped her manifestation as a Servant, yet Alter-Ego herself refuses to disclose the reasons why she possesses it.
"Eh, 「Self-Denial」? Why would a loyal soldier like me need anything like that? No, don't look Commander, it's embarrassing...!"
Noble Phantasms
So this is probably one of the more convoluted Servant ideas I've written up in a while. The "twist" might be pretty obvious given the FC I chose, but I'm pretty satisfied with this one overall. As usual feel free to drop by with comments and criticisms. Thanks for reading y'all!
Last edited by RoydGolden; September 9th, 2023 at 05:56 PM. Reason: Swapped Mental Pollution with Self-Denial Skill
So...I just discovered that this is a thing apparently. Now it's given me the idea for a perfect Servant.
But what do y'all think would be the signature Class Skill? I'm curious to hear opinions before I start writing. :O
"Here's a bangin lil' tune about takin' on The Man!"
(Check out my Super Special Awesome Servant Compendium here)
Shiki-pon and I went with the idea of gaining a defense boost as long as the Servant remains rooted to a particular place, that's lost if they let intruders past. Also, any thoughts on my Arnold?
Posting Permissions
Reply With Quote
