Cataquack your two Versions of Pan are really good i must say but somewhat does it hints that Pan is more Evil as it seems but i must admit i dont know more About Peter pan then the movie from Disney . so i am curious About your other versions as i know from my Loki series that such ideas/Concept projects are rather interesting . i am curious how would she think of my Neferuseth ( it think as her moter figure should she allow Pan to do as she like the most time), my Steller as he is a Man which crossed the Sea ,especially would i be curious what she think of his mount ,and my Ada Muso given that she is also in some sense a "eternal child"?
Thanks! I have two more classes in mind: Assassin and Caster. Didn't really see anyway to make a template for the remaining classes; Peter doesn't have any history using weapons other than swords - thus taking out Archer and Lancer - and I couldn't come up with anything interesting for Berserker. though now that I think of it, Avenger could maybe work, emphasizing Pan's hatred for grown-ups.
As for being a little evil, I'm basing things mostly around Barrie's original play/book versions- where he had originally wanted to make Pan the villain. In the book, Peter does some unsettling things, like letting the boys plummet towards the ocean and only saving them at the last moment - and you were never sure if he might whimsically decide to just let them die at some point.
And yeah, you have some fascinating Servant designs. It really would be interesting to see what the different versions of Pan think of them. I think she'd like Ada Muso especially; I sort of think Peter, with her poor memory, would keep mixing things up and calling her Tiger Lily. I think Peter would sort of get along with Steller, but things might turn to conflict eventually, as while both enjoy the wonder of new discoveries and adventures, Peter is careless about the things she "plays" with, while Steller doesn't want to hurt them. As for Neferuseth, I think that while Peter might like her as a "mother", things would end badly, with Avenger's grown-up tastes frightening him; I have a feeling she'd be a prime candidate for the Hook for a Hand curse if her actions rubbed Saber the wrong way.
Thank you for your answers and i am curious how would Pan think of when she sees Ada transform in adult form for examplewise combat ? how do you actually find my three servants actually like also are you curious about how my Steller would be in other classes ? And please take a look at my Loki series i am curious about your opinion ?
With Ada's adult form, I think Pan might, with her hazy memory, dissociate the two versions of Ada and see them as separate people. But since adult Ada still doesn't embody the Western, "civilized" vision of maturity, I think Pan would still think she's okay as a grown-up.
I'll have to take a closer look at all the Servants, but they're pretty neat. I definitely would like to see Steller in other class forms; I really like his naturalist ideals and his relationship with Sirene. I admit, I hadn't imagined Loki working as a Lancer, but you managed to make it work out great; it would be interesting to see what other classes you can make him into, and how he'd change.
i think now that Adas adult form could Show Pan that there are also adults that are cool and perhaps could that ignite a sort of mental development in her .
Sbout Steller as Caster he has his Scholar aspect more emphased and use a sort of mixture of European Sorcery and Rusian - Inuit Shamanism as Magecraft type as he in my verseion has after the journey to the now called Aleuts researched the roots of the European cultures (=Pagan and animitic roots) aswell was he short time member of the Thaumaturgic side of the Russian Academy of Science ,inspired by the experiences with the Spirits beyond the pacific . and as noblephantasm has his first a oter effect in that he can summon more then one Giant seacow aswell will they have some more aspects i will at the Moment not explain or reveal .And his second Noblephantasm isnot Ship centred instead is it the Materialisation of the Ice Ocean and the mysterious Forests .
As Avenger he makes himself the cause for the Masss Slaughter of the Ocean Animals especially of the Whales ,the Sharks aswell the Sea cows and his first noblephantasm is not Sedna Sirenia instead one that let him summon the "oceanic victims of the Greed of Men" .
Rider – Rostam
“Why does the grail give us that whole “are you my master” spiel anyways, is it just tradition or is it programmed into it? Anyways, hi I’m Rider, I'm here to see the world and experience what it’s like. Now do you have any books master? I wanna start catching up on current events.”
“Really wish I had some of my armor right now. Oh this armor, it’s not for battle, I use it for traveling around, the shield keeps the sun out of my eyes and the armor helps me keep up my strength not to mention it helps with sleeping on rough surfaces and not being mistaken for a regular traveler by bandits and villagers."
Appearance
Equipment 1
Equipment 2
Characteristics
Personal Information
Lore
Personality
Relationships
Parameters:
Strength – B (A due to Rakhsh’s effects)
Endurance – B (A due to Rakhsh’s effects)
Agility – C (B on a mount)
Mana – B
Luck – D (partly due to events in his life and also due to a curse bestowed upon him after killing Esfandiyār)
Noble Phantasm – EX
Class Skills
Personal Skills
Noble Phantasms
Dev notes
Author’s note
Last edited by Cursed by Fortuna; October 9th, 2020 at 12:04 AM.
May the Holy Grail War begin.DestructionSalvationBeginsAwaits
Behold, The Halls of the Lost Souls lies before you
1st Grail War Idea
Servant Template and Servant Ideas for anyone's use if they wish
I don't recall outright saying I disliked Alceides for his number of NPs, just that it was an irregularity and shouldn't be used as an example for other Servants with similar feats (given he only got that from being corrupted by the Grail and losing his normal "proof of completing the Twelve Labors"- God Hand).
In any case I feel like your Rostam's case is pulled off well enough, with the limitation that he can only use an NP after completing a "heroic deed" doing well to keep it from being overpowered.
Sorry about that RoydGolden, I didn't mean to put words in your mouth. I must have missed that bit (or gotten it confused for something or someone else), either way thanks for the feedback, I am curious as to what you think on the whole me tying my servants NP's into other servant's history and lore. It's something I've noticed as of late with my sheets, and I'm not sure if it's a good thing or a bad one on my end.
May the Holy Grail War begin.DestructionSalvationBeginsAwaits
Behold, The Halls of the Lost Souls lies before you
1st Grail War Idea
Servant Template and Servant Ideas for anyone's use if they wish
"Hey, Master, wanna live forever?"
Class: Caster
Alignment: Chaotic/Neutral
Region: China
Height: 136cm
Weight: 40kg
Likes: Fame, money, idio- I mean, trusting people
Dislikes: Distrustiful people, grains, her current form
Talent: Alchemy, lying
Armaments: fan, furnace
Natural Enemy: Xu Fu
Stats
Str: E
End: C
Agi: D
Mna: A
Lck: B
NP: B
Skills
Noble Phantasm
Background
personality
here is a list of my servant sheets(new and improved format for my servant sheets)
Come explore the White Library, and reach the bottom of this Abyss
Fate / White Memoria
Class: Saber
Identity: Julie d’Aubigny
Gender: Female
Source: Historical fact
Origin: France
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
Height: 161 cm
Weight: 48 kg
Parameters:
Strength: D
Endurance: D
Agility: B
Mana: C
Luck: B
NP: C
Skills
Noble Phantasm
Character
Personal data
With a "music + swords + love + shitty ending related to love" thematic in common, I think Sayaka makes a perfect FC. I try not to do characters that have been done already a bunch of times, but this was a funny sheet to do. The NP is the worst part in my opinion, but that's because all the good ideas were already taken.
Julie: This is a really fun sheet. I never would've imagined her with a Sayaka FC but I have to admit with the "devoted to love" angle you kind of made it fit. I love the names of her Skills, and it just made me think that Julie is basically a teenage girl's fanfic OC come to life (except better written, obviously). Omnitalented, loved by everyone despite her ridiculous actions, "quirky and random" demeanor the author totally thinks is cool, etc.
Her NP is a bit similar to what I've seen in other D’Aubigny sheets here, but for a relatively grounded figure like her there's only so many angles to work with when brainstorming a fitting NP. I do like the touch of her sharing her power with her opponents to revive them after beating them. Very Shonen protag "defeats means friendship" vibes there.
Julie d’Aubigny: As my personal Historical crush, I am obligated to comment on every version of Maupin I see, so here I go.
To start the Skills are very creative. I begrudgingly love Loveble Scumbag, probably as intended, and Quirk and Random is terrifying but ridiculously in character. However, I think Better than You at Everything, although creative, is a little bit too much. Not all Skill needs to be unique, and Just Talented at Every Field (Richard's prodigy Skill from Strange fake) would be enough. I also bemoan the lack of specialized Fencing or Duelist Skill or a straight-up Charm related to her beauty, but that is a minor nitpick.
The NP... I am sorry, but it doesn't work for me. I understand the logic of it, and Julie was an opera singer, which is kind of the rockstar of her time, but I don't feel like Fame is so important to her story. In fact, a lot of her escapades have her disguise herself, so... yeah.
Finally, her personality. I like how you tried to go opposite to the personality that Maupin is usually depicted with, and in a lot of ways, you succeeded. However, you may have leaned too much into the "Douche" part of the "Lovable Douche" trope, which kind of makes her a bit unlikable, and Since being liked by everyone is kind of the point of her character, she ends up feeling like "Mary Sue" rather than an unbelievable but still real person. One of my favorite details about Maupin's story is how she ended up her life in anonymity because of a broken heart, showing that she was, in fact, human. Your sheet lacks a bit of that.
Anyway, I hope you don't find me to harsh. As previously stated, I am a massive, MASSIVE, fan of Julie d’Aubigny, which means that my standards are a bit on the higher side this particular time, but this was still pretty enjoyable. If it makes you feel better, you can shit on my previous Li Shaojun post, I won't judge you for it.
here is a list of my servant sheets(new and improved format for my servant sheets)
Come explore the White Library, and reach the bottom of this Abyss
Fate / White Memoria
It's okay, the parts you addressed are the ones that I thought were worse (specially the NP), so it's good to see I'm not the only one that thinks so. I blame my lack of research and intention to make her different from other sheets for her becoming a sort of Mary Sue.
Regarding her second skill… well, I haven't read much about the skills introduced in SF, so I didn't know Richard already had a prodigy skill. I can change it, but I'll leave the name as it is even if it's the same skill, same as how Jaguar Man has her skills' names changed to "Jaguar + something". Her fencing and charm were supposed to be encompassed by this skill.
I'm not going to shit on your Li Shaojun because first I don't know much about them and second because the sheet looks quite good, but haven't you posted it in the contest too? Correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought that wasn't allowed
It is? I record having done it a few times.
It was kind of an accident. I posted here and only after remembered that the contest existed
here is a list of my servant sheets(new and improved format for my servant sheets)
Come explore the White Library, and reach the bottom of this Abyss
Fate / White Memoria
People talk about Simo Haya but I'm pretty sure this hoe gets at least one new sheet per month.
Last edited by Zork Knight; August 20th, 2020 at 07:14 PM.
Ah, I'm not trying to be the Devil's advocate or anything, but characters like Hou Yi, d’Aubigny or Simo Häyha are charming. And also easy to write about. They're prominent in the Fate scene, so there's also a lot to gather as inspiration.
It's always nice to see the different interpretations people give to them, there's always a new flavor to each sheet. For example, with this one I lovelovelove her Skills. Each of them left me thinking "lol this truly is like her" (again a great point of Padoru's sheets, she knows so well how to blend the lore in the skills I WISH I HAD THAT ABILITY HAHA). And I love her cheeky personality, it's like my favorite interpretation of this character. ...What I was trying to say, before this becoming a gushing over her sheet, is that there's always possibility of a new view on a character, even with so many sheets around there. It only takes a creative mind for that.
© Aethersen
.check out my Servant sheets if you are interested.
Well that lets me think that i made servants from charackters that werent before hm that werent approached before like my Georg Steller,Thales of Milet or Kay Kawus that werent before adapted as servants , so can it be said and i dont think i praise here myself or something like that now , went the difficult route as especially in the case of Scholars or Philosophs are difficult to adapt into servants but i find also difficult to take on charackters that are having to much source like the Round table knight as they are also in the regard of beings a core aspect of the nasuverse (beside that i didnt know in Depth About the Arthurian complex of the legends )
Mm. A desire to write a Summer sheet, an experiment in this month's Contest prompt, and a capstone to a sheet that I hold near and dear to my heart... A bit of all three, I suppose?
It didn't turn out like I expected, perhaps, but sometimes that's fine and well too.
RIDER OF SUMMER WISHES
Class: Rider
True Name: Emily Elizabeth Dickinson
Alignment: Neutral Summer
Gender: Female
Birthday: December 10, 1830
Height/Weight: 152 cm / 61 kg
Birthplace: Massachusetts, North America
Blood Type: B
Personal Traits
Forte: Correspondence, inspiration
Weakness: Meeting people in person
Likes: People, summer, flowers
Dislikes: Seeing people, loss
Natural Enemy: Gray
Image Color: White
Voice: Takamori Natsumi
Theme: Yamashita Tatsuro - Bokura no Natsu no Yume
Parameters
STR: E
AGI: D
END: E
MGI: C
LCK: E
NP: C
Source:
https://twitter.com/_tamomoko/status...165954/photo/1
“...The sun just touched the morning;
The morning, happy thing,
Supposed that he had come to dwell,
And life would be all spring.
But ah, you see…
Forever is only ever right now.”
Background
A woman born in Massachusetts in the early 19th century, Emily Elizabeth Dickinson was born to a prominent family, raised well with deep ties to the community and educated at prestigious academies and seminary schools. A well-behaved, conscientious student, she studied fields ranging from botany and geology to arithmetic, Latin, and history. She was well-regarded by her parents and peers, bright and friendly, and an exemplary, enthusiastic scholar.
However, beginning at the age of fourteen, she began to be haunted by what she would later call the "deepening menace" of death, starting with the demise of her beloved second cousin, Sophia Howard. Sophia's death shocked Emily so much she had to be sent home from boarding school to recover, returning to school only after marshaling her spirit and chasing away her own melancholy.
A series of deaths among her family, friends, and even beloved mentors and teachers continued to impact her, sending her into a spiral which would lead her to hide herself away in her room for decades. Once she did so, her newfound agoraphobia continued to worsen, until she decided she would never leave her room again. She began to refuse to see visitors altogether, carrying out cordial and warm conversations from behind her closed door. The few times she was seen outside, generally only for private walks or to tend to the Dickinson family garden, she was always dressed in white, developing a local reputation as a ghostly, mysterious "Woman in White."
Unknown to most, this disposition was not merely the result of childhood trauma, or social anxiety, or anything of the sort - but it was the result of Emily’s deepening awareness of her own psychic ability to perceive death. First awakening with Sophia’s passing, Emily couldn’t help but see mortality and its winding pathways in every person, animal, or life she encountered, until she could not stand to look at them.
So she hid, and she wrote, and by the time she passed away her poems numbered nearly 1800, shocking her family and friends. Regarded posthumously as a beautiful and brilliant poet, many of her poems dealt with death and the subject of immortality, revealing a deep-seated obsession with the concept that had hung over her entire life.
In another class, she would be summoned in her early twenties, during the days in which she first secluded herself from the world after the deaths of her beloved cousin and teacher. At that age, the idea of even stepping outside would have been anathema to Emily. However, as a Rider, Emily is manifest at a later age in her life, where she still secluded herself but occasionally ventured outside, and had the confidence to begin to contemplate what her condition had taught her, rather than only what it led her to do.
As a Summer servant, she has resolved to step outside, and she’s most interested in enjoying this summer to the absolute fullest!
Personality
While deeply shy and reclusive through much of her life, Rider was never actually introverted in the least. She had many dearly held friendships and treasured all of them, communicating through letters and mail, sending them her thoughts, her verse, and flowers from her garden. She had always been quick to befriend and to love, warmly accepting others and thinking of them constantly.
Social and expressive, her seclusion was not the result of a lack of desire for contact with others, but a decision she made in her youth due to her own condition and the knowledge it bestowed upon her. Yet while she would embrace this seclusion as an Assassin, as a Rider, she strides out into the warm summer and forces her way through her fears to assert herself as an extroverted, energetic individual eager to enjoy herself and make memories for herself and her Master.
She is quick to check on others’ well-being, to play with children and friends, to run out for food or drinks… She eagerly soaks up the experiences she would have otherwise abstained from in the past and delights in experiencing the beach, and nature, and even the strange or bizarre alongside those she cares about.
This summer, Emily has decided, she shall hold nothing back, and she shall venture outside with her head held proud and her back straight. She still flinches when she looks upon her Master, or their friends, or any allied Servants - but she does not falter, and she keeps what she sees to herself, holding tightly onto her Master’s hand for support.
“I once said it was shelter to speak with you.
I meant it, and truly it is.
But more than merely shelter…
I’d like to make that shelter a house,
with all the winding paths of home.”
Class Abilities
Riding
Rank: D
Other than riding as a passenger in carriages and trains, there are no anecdotes of Emily Dickinson actively riding horses or piloting vehicles. At this rank, she is compensated with this skill only due to her Class container, and by its nature, she may only utilize her mount as a Rider a single time.
Magic Resistance
Rank: E
A skill that grants protection against magical effects. As she never had any abilities that could resist Magecraft and sequestered herself from ever coming into contact with a mage, Rider’s Magic Resistance remains at the minimum level. She can avoid most direct attack spells indirectly by way of her ESP, but she cannot neutralize spells in any way.
Personal Skills:
Future Vision
Rank: EX
The psychic ability that haunted Emily Dickinson all her life - beginning with only a dim affinity, the shock of each death in her life gradually awakened her psychic channel, until they could no longer be turned off or in any way ignored, leading to her inevitable seclusion from the vision that plagued her whenever she looked at another living being. Emily cannot help but see life as a flowing stream around everyone and everything, and she can clearly discern both its ebb and its flow.
By tracing the immediate path of their life, Rider is able to predict their short-term future, spotting death flags and dangers without fail, as well as visualizing the equivalent of their health and "HP" to the utmost detail.
While these vision may be used offensively, they do not directly interact with or actualize death, but are rather limited to showing where to directly damage or annihilate someone's life force, focusing on the "places connecting to the source of life" and the "parts which keeps things alive," inflicting critical damage on someone's life force that leads to their death.
After a number of traumatic experiences in her youth, and one moment in particular, Rider is loath to use this for anything other than support, and ordinarily limits the exercise of this skill to prediction and forecasting.
Midsummer Journal
Rank: C++
An offshoot of the false Item Creation she exercised as an Assassin, Emily retains her ability to enchant words and phrases even as a Rider, carrying her poems and doodles in a small, battered diary she never lets go of. She still writes whenever the mood strikes her, bestowing them with magical energy to enact a variety of buffs and blessings, including but not limited to reinforcement of parameters, healing, invisibility, and other supportive effects.
Unlike Assassin, she is more confident in sharing the text of her poems, rather than merely snippets or individual lines, delighting in honest criticism and discourse.
After a certain time, however, she will no longer show her work, and this skill may be sealed without explanation.
Summer Correspondence Courses
Rank: C+
An unusual variation on Rider’s Correspondence skill as an Assassin. In its original form, Correspondence was a skill that displays one's enthusiasm and eloquence in written communication with others, giving Emily Dickinson an advantageous network of friends and followers to aid her in data collection and dissemination. In this form, that network has been repurposed, and rather than collecting information to act as a navigator, Rider is collecting knowledge and skill in a variety of fields from her friends and confidants, striving to better herself each day.
Skills from a variety of sources may be exercised at C-D rank, including Eye for Art, Mathematics, Presence Detection, Subversive Activities, and others. Rather than innate skills, these are skills obtained after her summoning, and she frequently checks her phone to obtain updates and review new lessons in her downtime during the summer. It is not uncommon for Rider to stay up all night, her face lit up by her phone, discussing matters with a wise friend in another time zone, both caught up for hours by her probing questions and charm.
Noble Phantasm:
The Chariot - Because I Could Not Stop for Death, He Kindly Stopped for Me
Type: Anti-Unit
Rank: C
A Noble Phantasm derived from one of Emily Dickinson’s most famous poems, the one that represented the conclusion of her decades of musing on death and mortality. The answer that she reached after hiding away for so long, when she could no longer ignore the only death she could not look away from - her own, writ clear as day in the flowing currents of life that she saw through the warped channels of her perception.
A poem of farewell, setting aside one’s fears, regrets, and all of one’s uncertainties. Upon activation, Rider releases her hold on her Saint Graph and fully unlocks the restraints she unconsciously placed upon her psychic ability, allowing her to look upon death in all of its facets. In essence, the effect is the death of Emily Dickinson.
This is not the enforcement of instantaneous death or a curse of degradation -- but rather, it is a death that knows no haste, gently letting go of all that remains over the course of a single day. Once Emily Dickinson has invoked the true name of this Noble Phantasm, she obtains the absolute certainty that in one day, she shall cease to exist as a Servant in the present and shall return to the embrace of eternity, no matter what forces may attempt to intervene.
During this time, Rider is constantly shedding shards of her Saint Graph and essence as a Heroic Spirit, like feathers falling from a bird in flight, and this energy may be put to whatever use she desires. Whether it is healing wounds or recreating a beating heart, taking flight or going anywhere she can picture, or any other miracle that may be enacted through the expenditure of vast stocks of magical energy, during the period of this Noble Phantasm precious little is completely beyond her reach.
She may even attempt to hold onto that energy in her journal, sequestering it away for her final moments, and in one shining moment convert the small, battered notebook she holds dear into the equal of a true wish-granting device - but at the end of that day, the time shall come for her to put away her labor and her leisure, and resume that gentle ride towards the end that awaits all things. At that time, the Woman in White knows even without seeing it, she shall board her carriage with a smile.
“Since then – ‘tis Centuries – and yet
Feels shorter than the Day
I first surmised the Horses' Heads
Were toward Eternity…
And all the while, I’m ever grateful,
For this one summer’s precious verities.”
Last edited by Sunny; August 20th, 2020 at 10:05 PM.