Create-A-Servant 3

[DelRey]

Combatants will be deployed. I knew you have class, BnEl

not quite what i am looking for, but i keep him in mind. He was active in the military and later king, so finding someone overweight in light armor or just a kind looking plumb king is surprisingly hard.

[Master_Therion]

How about this? https://i.pinimg.com/564x/dd/d2/4c/d...5856588af8.jpg

[DelRey]

nah
i may have a plan B that kinda derails my sheet, but I keep looking through this one site that lists hundred of anime/manga characters
but i am already at 61/80 sites

[Master_Therion]

What sites do you look for images? I normally use pinterest and a reddit post of DND that gives tons of character images.

[DelRey]

What sites do you look for images? I normally use pinterest and a reddit post of DND that gives tons of character images.

pinterest, google, twitter art for inspiration, sometimes the booru sites too.

I actually like my plan B now even more after review. Seems more fun and is more interesting for the sheet. Execution is now just dependent on what a certain source here says.

[NittyGritty]

the yugioh wiki

[Cursed by Fortuna]

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[Master_Therion]

Wow, thanks for your time. Unfortunately im on the phone but for now I would like to clarify the second servant i made isnt Sebastian/John, its just Sebastian. This is the real person and not the myth. Saver is a composite myth. Im gonna go to my pc and read your review and then make changes to those characters. Thank you very much.

Okay, now that im in my computer, Im gonna tackle the Saver of the 5th Empire:
1st issue) Hidden One grants an agility akin to teleport, because it is able to manifest within the fog. Also, I mentioned the Shield and Sword of Afonso but in reality, Saver only has the sword, which only grants conquering and STR boost. The Shield has been lost to time so Saver couldnt get it.

2nd issue) Hidden One I based on the myth of Sebastian, granting evasion and guts. His 2nd skill, however, I actually intended to be a better accomplishment of what John IV did but couldnt think of anything. Im trying to see what I can do. Regarding Quinto Imperio, Im trying to see what better way to describe it, since the only "World" NPs i know are Romulus-Quirinus and Acchiles

3rd issue) The Skill Council of God was an idea I had for a brief time but i discarted it due to being a little bit indirect. Regarding its personality, I initially went with the cocky approach but now decided to add that, while it was his inital response and might seem its personality on the outside, Saver is actually crushed with the loss of the arts he once loved and the deterioration of the people he once represented. However, he cant give up because he is there answer their wishes and to back down would be to fail them. You are right about the Lore, im going to put it in Saver sheet.

Regarding Saber Sebastian, this is the Pan Human History Sebastian that did not return on a foggy morning and became a servant. Im gonna tackle the issues you mentioned:
1) As I mentioned, this isnt a Jekyll /Hyde situation. Saver, as a lostbelt King, is actually a person not a servant. Saber Sebastian, on the other hand, is a Servant, King Sebastian I. Great idea about the Personality tips, i will explore further in the future.

2) I initially gave him Charisma and Divinity as a way to allude to his possibility of being a Saver Servant. I might mutate Charisma into a more specific charisma while im gonna mention the effects of charisma on Saber.

3) Thrutfuly, you are right. I intended to offset the fact he lost his Sword and made it too OP. I think for now im gonna keep the Adormecido effect of summoning Fog with soldiers that attack both sides, with Saber losing his Sword and Shield and if he dies the fog spreads till it is morning, with covering at most a small city. O Desejado, on the other hand, im gonna remove all effects but keep the effects of returning on the morning, granting Saber increased divinity and stats but has a small frame of, maybe 30 minutes to 1 hour, to defeat all servants before he disapears. In this state, Saber is immune to most physical attacks through his body of fog, being able to move really fast due to being able to manifest through fog but is susceptible to conceptual attacks or attacks that targets his existence.

[DelRey]

Back to your cell Fortuna to continue commenting on other sheets. How many are left on your list? 10?

[Cursed by Fortuna]

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[DelRey]

15 it looks like in total I also have a bit of a "storyline" with this and the next post as I was getting bored and when writing this post I had an idea on how to continue the joke

well. back to the comment mines with you. the longer you wait the more Servants appear

[Master_Therion]

Im really grateful for Fortunas reviews. They really focus on how to improve each sheet.

[Cursed by Fortuna]

0

[Morg van Destro]

Alright. I've compiled a list of all the Servants I need to review, and now I just need to take some time to comment. 15. Gotta set aside some binge time.

[Master_Therion]

A dog...

Attribute: Human

hmmm.
I joke, but it is good sheet. Great idea for a new class, i love the Class skills. Man, Hachiko makes me cry everytime.

[TheLordOfAwesome]

Rider

"Hey. I'm Imhotep, I'm a Rider. Can we move on, Master? I'm on vacation right now."



True Name: Imhotep (Summer)
Epithets: Summer King of Administrators
Class: Rider
Alternate Classes: Caster, Ruler
Alignment: Lawful Summer
Attribute: Sky
Origin: Historical Fact — Egypt (27th century BC)
Likes: Vacation time
Dislikes: Having her vacation interrupted, “The Mummy” movies
Talent: Many different things.
Natural Enemy: Imhotep (Caster)
Armament: Volleyball Mystic Code
Traits: Brynhildr's Beloved, Divine, Female, Humanoid, Servant, Undead, Weak to Enuma Elish

Parameters:
STR: D
END: B+
AGI: C
MGI: A+
LUK: B
NP: A+

Personality

Her personality hasn’t changed too much from her Caster self… but with her wanting to experience a vacation, she’s become increasingly informal. She has dropped her usual third-person form of speech, being more casual with her Master, and being more vocal with her frustrations as well. She is reluctant to do any actual work while she is like this, insisting that she is on vacation and would not wish to be disturbed from her relaxation. However, she’s still very much a workaholic by nature and even she has difficulties resisting her natural urge to be of use and get work done, more often than not forgoing her relaxation to complete whatever task happens to be presented to her. Of course, that doesn’t stop her from complaining the whole time about how her vacation is getting interrupted.

Lore

With summer once again rearing its head and Servants don swim attires, a lone Imhotep prepares to join the fray of summer time antics. Having never experienced a vacation, the great advisor to the pharaohs chooses to experience the fun and relaxation of a summer vacation had to offer! So putting on a swimsuit and a more relaxed attitude she gets ready for her first ever vacation. But with her workaholic attitude, will she be able to relax before summer reaches its end?

Skills

Class Skills:

Divinity: C
The measure of whether one has Divine Spirit aptitude or not. It seems even under a different class, the curse of undeath brought on by “The Mummy” movies still lingers and hampens her Divinity.

Riding: A+
A skill denoting the ability to ride mounts and vehicles. All vehicles and all creatures up to the level of Phantasmal Beast and Divine Beast can be used as mounts. However, that does not apply to members of the Dragon Kind.

Territory Creation (Resort): A
A variation of the standard Territory Creation skill, geared more towards the construction of a summer resort. Although she has no real experience in creating such buildings, Imhotep’s peerless talent as an architect and engineer lets her circumvent these shortcomings and produce a truly spectacular resort.

Personal Skills:

Beach Mummy: A
A composite skill that combines the effects of Beach Flower and the effects of Innocent Monster. Despite possessing the body of an undead monster and even covered in the wrapping of a mummy, Imhotep can still gather the yearning gazes of the opposite sex with ease. Some might even say it is a bonus.

Busybody's Lament: EX
A Skill (curse) derived from Imhotep’s own personality as a workaholic. No matter how hard she tries to relax and enjoy her vacation, something will inevitably come up and she will focus her attention on it.

Relaxation Savant: A+
Merely a renamed version of the Skill Talented in Every Field, in which Imhotep has now put her efforts towards learning skills to maximize her own relaxation.

Noble Phantasms

Hapi Procession
The Divine Bull Who Heralds The Gods

Rank: A
Type: Anti-Army
Range: 2~60
Maximum Number of Targets: 100

A Noble Phantasm that allows Imhotep to summon Hapi, a Divine Beast who was the son of the goddess Hathor. Hapi was worshipped in the Memphis region of Egypt and played a significant role in the worship of the gods, acting as an intermediary between humans and other powerful deities.

Hapi was considered both an aspect and herald of the Ptah, and thus Imhotep herself views the bull as something like a brother. The bull would appear on the mortal plane as a black calf with distinct markings to allow priests to identify him and house him within the Temple of Ptah, where his action would be interpreted as prophecies. Processions of Hapi were considered blessings upon the country. When the current incarnation of the bull dies, the body is buried in a tomb at Ṣaqqārah. It is for this reason that Imhotep is able to summon Hapi as a Noble Phantasm.

Imhotep manifests this Divine Beast into this world with a Egyptian war chariot attached to it. As a Rider, Hapi acts as Imhotep’s mount. The bull’s charge is capable of pulverizing the enemy, as beams of divine fire are launched from its hooves to scorch the land. The combination of the hooves, the flames, and the wheels of the chariot can deal great physical damage to a target. Should the target fail a saving throw, the damage will be increased. The damage is far greater than a normal charge of the chariot once the True Name of the Noble Phantasm is unleashed.

The greatest aspect of the Noble Phantasm is the Divine Beast’s ability to be reborn. Even should he be completely destroyed by the enemy, within a day Imhotep can summon Hapi and her chariot back into the world. Even if she were to channel mana into the bull and turn it into a Broken Phantasm, within a day it will return to her. In short, this gives Imhotep a Noble Phantasm that can never truly be destroyed. Although, the bull seems to remember each time it dies and will become increasingly weary of Imhotep should she turn him into a living bomb too frequently.


Ṣaqqārah Tripod
Djoser's War Between the Worlds

Rank: A+
Type: Anti-Fortress
Range: 10~50
Maximum Number of Targets: 500

The first pyramid ever created, and the crowning jewel of Imhotep’s feats as an engineer. As such she can summon this pyramid as her territory… or at least that’s how it was supposed to be. While normally it would have been a flying fortress, modified by Imhotep herself after taking inspiration from theories that pyramids were made by aliens, it seems that as Rider she has taken some inspiration from a certain science fiction novel and has completely altered it to be more like a vehicle. It loses many of the abilities it would have had as a fortress, but it makes up for that in newfound mobility… At least that’s how Imhotep justifies these changes. One wonders if these design choices were chosen because they possessed an efficiency that no one other than an engineering genius like Imhotep could see, or if she was merely enjoying herself by staying “on theme”.

Regardless, if Djoser could see what had happened with his monument he would be completely stunned. If not, then the on-board magical AI modeled after him surely would have.

As a vehicle the pyramid sports three crab-like walking appendages which, despite their unusual mode of locomotion, are actually quite fast and can easily keep up with the mounts of other Riders. Below the main fighting body of the tripod are a pair of metallic tentacles, which are used as both close quarters combat options and as a means for Imhotep to grasp objects with her machine. The “death ray” that would have normally been on the pyramid has been completely replaced, with a powerful high-pressure water cannon being in its place. The water cannon — dubbed “the ultimate squirt gun” by Imhotep, herself — is an extraordinarily powerful weapon, capable of piercing hardened structures and cleaving through them like butter with the sheer force behind the water being fired. The power of the cannon pales in comparison to the old death ray, but Imhotep thought the “squirt gun” was more in-line with the summer season.

Voice Lines

Ascensions:

1st Ascension: “Ugh… The whole point of this is to do nothing, Master. Why are you making me work?”

2nd Ascension: “Another task complete. Can we call it good?”

3rd Ascension: “I’m getting antsy and the water looks so good…”

4th Ascension: “Finally! We’re done! Now let’s hit the bar! I could use a drink! ...What do you mean it’s last call?! I just got here!”

Bonds:

Bond Lv. 1: “Summer fun waits for no one, Master! Do not dilly-dally!”

Bond Lv. 2: “I know you are my lord and I’m your vizier, but I am on vacation. That means no work, got it?!”

Bond Lv. 3: "If you work too hard, Master, you won’t relax. Just let me handle it so we can both have fun.”

Bond Lv. 4: "Imhotep is hard at work. It is a pain, but she does enjoy it. It’ll make relaxing all the better.”

Bond Lv. 5: "Ahhh… Master, I am tired of working. Can you give me an easy task so I can enjoy my vacation? I can serve as a pillow if it means I don’t have to work.”

Other:

Dialogue 1: "Swimming, volleyball, surfing. I learned these skills just for the purpose of my glorious vacation!”

Dialogue 2: “Hmm… Should the outdoor dinning be located by the pool, or merely overlooking it?”

Dialogue 3: “Ah! Look at the time! I’ve been doing nothing but work!”

On the Holy Grail: "I just want to enjoy my vacation, dammit…”

Something You Like: "Relaxing and enjoying my vacation. Fun in the sun and all that!”

Something You Hate: “Ugh, can you not ask me questions? It is interrupting my vacation..”

Birthday: "Happy birthday, Master! Imhotep shall prepare the appropriate festivities! Her vacation can be put on hold until then!”

Relationships

Pharaohs: “Mighty Pharaohs of Egypt, I am on vacation. Seek my wisdom and counsel some other time. Well… Maybe a few tasks from your glorious selves wouldn’t hurt...”

Nitocris (Summer): “Lord Medjed?! I- Wait… no, it is Queen Nitocris. Huh.”

Arthuria Pendragon (Summer Ruler): “A bunny girl! Perfect! I am in need of one for the casino in my resort!”

Beni-Enma: “Ah, Beni-Enma! Care to assist me with my resort? I have some ideas, but I would seek your counsel on the matter.”

Creator Notes

Back again with a new sheet of a character I already made. I was quite proud of my imhotep sheet and this was a fun idea I thought about back when I made the original Imhotep sheet. I feel a Summer version of her would be fun to do, and coming up with NPs and Skills was very funny.

[BnEl15]

So... I ended up writing this after reading realcasually's Guinevere and her interactions with my Eleanor of Aquitaine. I initially planned to write a more comedic interaction involving Eleanor fangirling and questioning Guinevere over even the most mundane aspects of Artoria's life, but I somehow ended up writing this completely serious story instead, highlighting their deeper aspects. I pretty much came up with the setting on the fly (also took a little inspiration from Morg's Arthurian sheets for some namedrops here), so excuse the mess. They might also be somewhat out of character, but well... hope y'all enjoy enjoy it. Realcasually, this one's for you.

Subspecies Singularity no.???

Britannia Aeterna
The Mad King Rules Unchained

Humanity Foundation Value: C++

Location: Britain
Year: 1215 A.D.
Grail Holder: John Lackland
Demon God Pillar: Eligos

One by one, the summoned knights fell before the red queen's sword. Lamorak. Dagonet. Galeholt. Calogrenat. Dinadan.

"Y'know, I never thought I'd get to face my childhood heroes in combat, but they're all like, sooo~ underwhelming, you hear me?" The queen in red remarked with her usual airheaded smile, contradicting the sight of her bloodstained sword.

Her opponent, a girl clad in blue, could only look in desperation as each of her knights fell, one after the other. She had tried every conceivable strategy, yet... Wait, perhaps not every strategy just yet, but summoning him would...

"Come ooon~ When are you gonna give me the big guys? Palamedes? Tristan? Gaheris? or..." The queen smiled maliciously as she made her way to the girl's side, putting emphasis on her next word. "

Lancelot

him

?"

Angered, the girl quickly conjured a sword with her magecraft. She lashed out, only for the queen to block her strike with ease.

"Right, right, I suppose that one is a touchy subject. Aaaanyway, I suppose that's enough playing around for now. I see what you're trying to do now." The Queen's smile faded as she dropped her usual attitude. "Acting as a distraction while the Master of Chaldea made his way to John's throne room... Are you so eager to meet death at my hands?"

The girl smiled, resigned to her fate. "Yes. In the end, I... I offered myself to act as bait. Back then, my own selfishness doomed Camelot, and now, the world tasked me with destroying this 'Eternal Camelot' that your son is trying to establish... Maybe this is the world's way of punishing me. I knew it. I knew that I've lost my chance at happiness, after everything I did. E-Even so! This time around, at the very least-"

"CEASE THAT PATHETIC DRIVEL OF YOURS!" The red queen commanded, cutting her off. For a second, the girl could swear she saw something in her eyes; something beyond her usual arrogance.

"A-Ahem. right, I suppose I've lost my composure a bit there, but it needs to be said." The red queen coughed. "By all accounts, I should quickly end you here, and make my way to the throne room to deal with the rest of those invaders. However, that thing you said just now reaaaallyy rubs me the wrong way. So screw it. For once, I'm going to make another stupid decision and take my time here to deal with you."

The queen's sword, her false Excalibur, dematerialized. The thought of lashing out with another surprise attack briefly crossed Guinevere's mind, but she quickly shot down that idea. This queen dematerialized her weapon not out of foolishness, but out of sheer confidence in the fact that no matter what her opponent does, she would be able to counter it with ease. And she's right; the mana cost had really started to take a toll on her body after those constant summoning spells.

"Ever since I sensed Chaldea's presence here through my Court of Love, I knew they'd be trouble. However, do you know who I'm really pissed off at right now? YOU! The legendary Guinevere, queen of Camelot, wife of the Once-And-Future-King! When I heard you'd been summoned, I was ecstatic! How could I not!? You were, and still is, one of my favorite childhood heroes! Tales of you and Artoria kept me alive, granted me hope even in my darkest days! But the girl I saw before me now..?"

Eleanor felt genuine anger in her words; something she had not felt in a long time. Yet this anger was different from the time Henry sentenced her to imprisonment. There was also a hint of sorrow. To have the legendary Guinevere reduced to an emotional wreck, constantly drowning in regrets, trapped in a dark tunnel of hopelessness with no way out... Of course, she understands why she might be like this, considering what happened in her legend, but still-! When she saw her opponent standing before her, she did not see the majestic queen of Camelot. Insead, she saw a helpless young girl, her mind clouded in doubts and regrets. One who would give it her all for the sake of things she cared about, but would happily welcome death all the same, thinking it to be some twisted form of escape, or even a well-deserved punishment. In a way, Eleanor saw a part of her younger self in her. Maybe that's why she's so irrationally pissed off at her... not that she would admit it, though.

"You know what? As much as I love them, I'm not one to talk about honor, chivalry, and the like. Yet despite all that, even I can see that there's no point in cutting you down here." Eleanor shrugged. "We all make mistakes, that much is certain. I'd be lying if I say I died with no regrets. Now with all due respect, the only thing that differentiates me from you, is that I actually decided to do something about those mistakes! When John got his hands on that Grail, I was the first to answer his call! It was a chance for me to be a proper mother to him, after all the unrealistic expectations I placed on his shoulders all those years ago! Some would call my actions misguided, if not worse, and I know doing so would put Proper Human History in jeopardy, but I don't care anymore! This is a chance to grant his happiness, which translates into mine!"

"And you? What have you done, with this second chance at life?" Eleanor questioned. "Will you continue to rot away, drowning in past regrets without doing anything about them? How long will you continue punish yourself, saying all those pathetic excuses on how you're beyond redemption, and all that!? You're a queen, for God's sake! So act like one! Hold your head high! BE selfish! Stop boring me with those self-deprecating remarks and fight for the things you believe in! If you truly fight for the sake of Proper Human History, if you really think doing that could 'redeem' you or whatever, or if you simply think that fighting for Proper Human History is the right thing to do... Then do it! Prove your convictions with your actions! Don't hold anything back, and strike me down here and now!"

The red queen noticed her opponent regaining her strength, preparing for another summoning ritual.

"Looks like you've only got enough mana for one more ritual... so be it. In fact, this is more like it!" Eleanor smiled, the fury of battle returning to her eyes as she manifested her false Excalibur once again. "Show me that you truly are the Queen of Knights! The legendary Queen who ruled over Camelot alongside Artoria Pendragon!"

The two charged their Noble Phantasms. Guinevere's summoning circle began to glow with an otherworldly aura, while Eleanor's 'Excalibur' began to radiate a glorious, golden light.

Simultaneously, the two queens released their Noble Phantasm's True Names.

"Rêve de Britannia!"
"Assembling Round Table!"

Creator's Notes/Fun Facts

- So the premise of this EoR style singularity is that King John somehow got his hands on a Grail and made a contract with a Demon Pillar. He then summoned a bunch of Servants to enforce his rule (Eleanor being the first summoned), and the Magna Carta was never signed, among all things. Furthermore, tired of all the constant rebellions under his rule, John aims to use the Grail to turn Britain back into Camelot in its glory days (unbeknownst to John himself, this is not the 'true' Camelot, but simply a recreation of the Kingdom according to the legends he heard as a child, a perfect utopia without any kind of violence, war, or rebellion (at least until Mordred came along)).

- Eleanor serves as John's closest advisor here. She sees this as a chance to atone for her mistakes as a mother, but deep down, she also knows that it's not morally right for John to reject the entirety of Human History in favor of his warped definition of peace. Aside from her grievances with Guinevere, this is also why she chose to give Guin a pep talk instead of rushing to protect John. A part of her wants to be stopped.

- It might be somewhat hypocritical of her to tell Guin to "stop living in the past and do something about your regrets instead of simply drowning in them" while (at least in this specific situation) she's doing the same (helping John out of past regrets), but well... I guess it adds another layer of depth to them. Maybe Guin could even point out that hypocrisy herself, though I'm not entirely sure how to write her lines.

- Normally, Eleanor's NP would drain the mana used for Guin's NP and allocates it to power her excaliblast instead, but for plot reasons, this doesn't happen here. Let's just chalk it up to her going easy on Guin, or the previous "secretly wanted to be defeated" part. Meanwhile, I imagine Eleanor's pep talk would finally motivate Guin to get over her crippling sense of guilt (if just temporarily) and summon Lancelot, who proceeded to defeat Eleanor. Guin still burned through her mana reserves for that spell though, so the battle ended in mutual destruction, with the two queens having reconciled their differences. They would have more comedic interactions in Chaldea, but that would be a story for another time...

[Morg van Destro]

I like it, if a bit overdramatic (not that I'm one to talk), but I call bull on those victories. I can only speak for mine, but Galeholt is probably the only that would normally lose to her, and that's basically because he doesn't have any resistances to her authority. If it's my Calogrenat, he comes back from the dead like it's a thing to do, meaning she'd have to completely obliterate his body, which would be a pretty tricky thing for her to do, and Dagonet can resist literally any authority she has just by holding Egeking, let alone his Valor. It's possible he could even parry Rêve de Britannia because, unlike Excalibur, the beam itself is an extension of her authority, but that's debatable.
This is probably a silly thing to push back on, considering what the actual point of it is, but I'm a nitpicky fool. Is a good story, that aside.

[BnEl15]

I like it, if a bit overdramatic (not that I'm one to talk), but I call bull on those victories. I can only speak for mine, but Galeholt is probably the only that would normally lose to her, and that's basically because he doesn't have any resistances to her authority. If it's my Calogrenat, he comes back from the dead like it's a thing to do, meaning she'd have to completely obliterate his body, which would be a pretty tricky thing for her to do, and Dagonet can resist literally any authority she has just by holding Egeking, let alone his Valor. It's possible he could even parry Rêve de Britannia because, unlike Excalibur, the beam itself is an extension of her authority, but that's debatable.
This is probably a silly thing to push back on, considering what the actual point of it is, but I'm a nitpicky fool. Is a good story, that aside.

Yeah, I doubt Eleanor could ever actually beat any of them in an actual fight (with the exception of Galeholt, as you said, but even that would be a very close match). As "shadows" summoned by Guinevere though? They only have a fraction of their original powers, not to mention their attention is divided due to having to protect Guin, who's extremely vulnerable for the duration of their summoning. Under those circumstances, Eleanor might just win, if not through brute force, by outsmarting them or just stalling until the mana cost proves too much for Guin to handle, forcing her to deactivate the NP. That's my justification, at least.

You're 100% right about it being overdramatic though. I live for such drama.

[Morg van Destro]

Yeah, I doubt Eleanor could ever actually beat any of them in an actual fight (with the exception of Galeholt, as you said, but even that would be a very close match). As "shadows" summoned by Guinevere though? They only have a fraction of their original powers, not to mention their attention is divided due to having to protect Guin, who's extremely vulnerable for the duration of their summoning. Under those circumstances, Eleanor might just win, if not through brute force, by outsmarting them or just stalling until the mana cost proves too much for Guin to handle, forcing her to deactivate the NP. That's my justification, at least.

As shadows? Yeah, a lot more probable. That is, unless she summons them all at once. I don't remember reading a restriction on how many she can summon aside from being self-destructive, something she would probably be fine doing in this situation.

You're 100% right about it being overdramatic though. I live for such drama.

...None of you have read Fate/Without Justice, have you? You want drama?! I'll give you drama!