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Thread: Create-A-Servant 3

  1. #7341
    魔神ムルムル Kamera's Avatar
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    Listening to the beautiful symphony of artillery fire,
    While our enemies cutely cower behind their walls,
    Ah… Sieges are pretty relaxing, don’t you think, Master?



    Class: Archer
    True Name: Fatih Sultan Mehmet
    Gender: Male
    Alignment: Lawful Good
    Origin: Historical Facts and Rumors
    Attribute: Man

    Mehmed II, the famed Ottoman Sultan who vanquished the Byzantines and conquered much of the Balkans. A hyper-talented ruler who excelled as much in military tactics as in the sciences, religion and classical arts. A history nerd who actually cosplayed as Alexander and claimed to have avenged the Trojans against the Greeks.

    From a very young age, his father put him into rigorous and strict statesmanship tutoring and religious education which aimed to raise him into an ideal sultan that would embody the Ottoman values.

    In 1444, when Mehmed was just 12 years old, his father Murad II abdicated the throne to him, and immediately put him in charge of an army against the invading Hungarian crusader, John Hunyadi. Understandably, the boy was not pleased, and he asked his father to retake the throne, saying: “If you are the sultan, come and lead your armies. If I am the sultan I hereby order you to come and lead my armies.” In any case, Murad II led the Ottoman to victory against the Crusaders, and in 1446 he retook the throne, before finally dying in 1451, and forcing Mehmed II to be crowned Sultan for the second time.

    At the age of 21, Sultan Mehmed II conquered Constantinople, after a 53 day siege, marking the ultimate fall of the Byzantine empire. Seeking to inherit the Roman legacy, he made the city into the new Ottoman capital. He then continued his conquest into Europe and regions surrounding Anatolia, eventually conquering Serbia, Greece, Trebizond, Wallachia, Bosnia, Albania, and even sending a successful expedition into Italy. For these achievements, he was called the 『Father of Conquest』.

    Parameters:
    STR: B
    END: C
    AGI: A
    MGI: B
    LCK: A
    NP: A+

    Class Skills:
    Independent Action: C
    The ability to remain independent even when rejecting the Magical Energy supply from one's Master; the ability that allows for action even in the absence of the Master. At this rank, it is possible for Archer to stay in the world for one day without a Master.

    Magic Resistance: B
    Grants protection against magical effects; differing from the Resistance effect that merely rejects Magical Energy, this ability cancels the spells altogether. Cancel spells with a chant below three verses. Even if targeted by greater magecraft and Greater Rituals, it is difficult for them to be affected.

    Personal Skills:
    Prophecy of Conquest: EX
    A composite skill which includes Protection of the Faith, Charisma and Military Tactics at B-rank. In the case of fighting within the “Capital City” of the enemy, Archer will receive a rank-up on these skills and all allied units will also receive the Protection of the Faith skill.

    It is none other than a divine blessing attained by the fulfillment of the prophecy spoken by God’s Messenger: "Verily you shall conquer Constantinople. Great is the commander who will conquer it. Great are his soldiers." It exalts Archer as a divinely inspired leader, testifies the faith of his warriors and sanctifies his conquests.

    Great Eagle’s Vision: B
    An enhanced perception that reaches to all directions and can reveal things that would otherwise go unnoticed, a version of Clairvoyance that is specialized in “seeing the bigger picture”. Derived from the name that the Europeans called him dreadfully; “La Grande Aquila''.

    It allows Archer to grasp additional elements and factors that can possibly shift the flow of the battle to his advantage. In practice, Archer will fight with the least possible effort while still winning through attrition.

    Juvenile Dream: A
    The youthful fancy of the teenage sultan setting out towards the path of conquest. A skill similar to the Pioneer of the Star skill, which makes the impossible possible. It allows Archer to grasp an unlikely dream through irrational means, such as penetrating the night impregnable walls of Constantinople with giant artillery, moving eighty warships through land across the hills of Galata into the Golden Horn, and vanquishing a millenia-old empire.

    Imperial Privilege: A+
    The imperial authority of the individual that has been crowned as the Sultan of Two Lands, the Khan of the Two Seas, and the Caesar of Rome. It is an ability that allows Archer to access a wide array of Skills that he normally couldn't possess for a short period of time. In addition, due to his genuine mastery and enthusiasm for the military, religious and classical arts, those particular relevant skills can be possessed at higher rank and for longer periods.

    Noble Phantasms:
    Osmanlı Şahi
    Citadel Crusher Great Bombard
    Type: Anti-Fortress
    Rank: A+
    The Great Turkish Bombard.
    The legendary artillery that brought down the walls of Constantinople and the Byzantine Empire with it. An armament that embodies the pinnacle of Ottoman craftsmanship and military might. Made by the best siege engineers and blacksmiths of the era, it weighs 16 ton and is said to be the largest cannon in history. It was claimed to be capable of toppling even the mythical walls of Babylon.

    It can be said to be the ultimate siege weapon-type Noble Phantasm. Even without invoking its true name, with this Noble Phantasm Archer can freely fire rounds of cannonballs that can easily demolish a castle, though not without great magical energy cost. At its maximum output, by imbuing it with the concept of “the weapon that vanquished Rome”, it can even reach the power of an Anti-Country Noble Phantasm.

    İstanbul'un Fethi
    True Conquest - Rebirth of the Imperial Capital
    Type: Anti-Fortress (Self)
    Rank: EX
    The conquest of Constantinople and its transformation into Istanbul.
    A Noble Phantasm deriving from the events that took place after the Fall of Constantinople. The conversion of the Hagia Sophia cathedral into a mosque, the renaming of the city into Istanbul, its declaration as the new Ottoman Capital, and the great restoration and expansion projects that once again cemented Istanbul as the world’s greatest capital city. In essence, it is a Noble Phantasm that allows Archer to “convert the territory he conquered into Istanbul”. (In AoEII terms, it is the ability to convert an enemy Wonder).

    - - - Updated - - -

    Last edited by Kamera; January 12th, 2022 at 09:19 AM.

  2. #7342
    後継者 Successor
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    Kamera this one hell of a good servant, seeing this one and your previous one had me thinking what they going to react if they met any of my servants. It's going to be an interesting encounter.

  3. #7343
    魔神ムルムル Kamera's Avatar
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    I don't think Roxelana would get along well with any except maybe Aisha. Mehmet would try to be buddies with everyone though.

  4. #7344
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    Class: Archer
    True Name: Ismail Al Jazari
    Alignment: Neutral Balance
    Origin: Abbasid Mesopotamia

    Parameters

    Strength: B
    Agility: B
    Endurance: A
    Mana: A
    Luck: C
    NP: C



    Summoning Line: Hello, I am please to be at your service, Master. My name you say. Uhm you can call me Al Jazari. Okay, what are my primary duties Master.

    Lore/Background:
    Badīʿ az-Zaman Abu l-ʿIzz ibn Ismāʿīl ibn ar-Razāz al-Jazarī was a Muslim polymath: a scholar, inventor, mechanical engineer, artisan, artist and mathematician from Artuqid Dynasty of Jazira in Mesopotamia (modern day Iraq). He is best known for writing The Book of Knowledge of Ingenious Mechanical Devices , lit. 'Book in knowledge of engineering tricks') in 1206, where he described 50 mechanical devices, along with instructions on how to construct them. He is credited with the invention of the elephant clock. He has been described as the "father of robotics" and modern day engineering. But this incarnation of Al Jazari isnít the actual person rather itís the culmination of all of his life works into the body of a beautiful lady automata that inherited all of his skills, talents and his saint graph and possess every single piece of marvel that he ever worked on.


    Class Skills :
    Independent Action (A+ Rank): This Servant was fully sustainable automata that can operate on its own for along time and can even do self-maintenance. As she can constantly generate small drips of mana to make herself operational.

    Magic Resistance (B Rank): This Skills is encoded with in her circuits that Cancel spells with a chant below three verses. Even if targeted by greater magecraft and Greater Rituals, it is difficult for them to be affected.


    Personal Skills:
    Mana Burst {Hydro} (A Rank): This Skills allows Archer to concentrate most of her mana into her body. Infusing her circuits with Mana allows her to create more powerful water blast. This skill came form the fact most of Al Jazari Invention somehow involves hydro power.

    Programmed Incantationís (EX Rank): A form of high-speed incantation. Archer has pre-set spells that comes with her that she can cast on command with a bit of tuning in her spirit core. Though her master can set up new spells on to her by use of a command seal. This skill is based on that Al Jazari automata has the first instances of programmable command by the used of pegs, when move produce a different rhythm.

    Artificial Crest of Time, Saea (A Rank): This artificial crest that is imbedded in archer can manipulate time. In small ways, like a small-scale precognition that can predict things about an hour ahead of time or grant her a slight boost in Agility. This skill came from Al Jazari works on many different clocks so much so that his pen is synonymous with the hour hand of a clock.


    Noble Phantasm:
    Eternal Lake of Harmony, Mardin.
    Type: Anti-Mind
    Rank: C

    Chant: Let the melodies of the lake sprang forwards. Envelop these lands with peace and harmony. This shall my magnificent performance

    This NP creates a reality marble of a calming lake with harmonious music playing around itís design as calming aura. That resonates with the creature that are inside filling them with the happiest memories of their lives each creature in there would hear. There own preferred style of music and enjoys moments of peace. By sending them in a comatose slumber any people that enter this reality marble would falls asleep though servants can make an Endurance Check to stay awake. This NP is based on Al Jazari greatest work a automata band that sail on lake to entertain the guest there.


    Misc Lines:
    Likes: Well, I like to serve you Master as is that the duty of a maid.

    Dislike: There nothing I particularly dislike though I do get a bored from not having much orders from you, Master.

    The Holy Grail: My own wish is to support you as best as I can. So, what I would wish for is to grant your own wish ten times fold.

    Event: A festival, I hope I can contribute my share of work for the fun of everyone else.


    Bond Lines :
    Bond Line 1: Ah Master, is there anything I could do for you today.

    Bond Line 2: What a Lovely day it is Master would you like some tea. I pour you some, also sugar or no sugar.

    Bond Line 3: Welcome back, Master. Gohan wo taberu? Ofuro ni suru? Soretomo, wa. ta. shi? Why are you flustered, my master? I was told by the other servants that is how a maid must greet their master.

    Bond Line 4: Master care for a little musical recital, I am not a proper musician but at least I can play a lovely tune for you. Is there any genre of music that you preferred? I hope I can play well since itís my creatorís finest accomplishment to create something that would produce beautiful music.

    Bond Line 5: Master I see that you been so glum lately, if I may ask what could I do to cheer you up. I should just that by your side your side. That Master is what I am planning form the moment you summon me with you I feel like I can finally lived up to the things my creator intended for me.


    Relationship:
    Musician Servants: Care to teach some basic music skills, I would live to improve to help with the masterís moods.

    Nero and Elizabeth: Ahem, if you may why donít practice your singing over here. (Locks them in the warehouse.)

    Da Vinci: Is this procedure is going to make me a better maid. Well, if you say I have to trust in your skills and judgement as an engineer.

    Salter (Maid): As a fellow maid, may I ask you what are your tools of the trade. I would like to improve myself to becoming a better maid myself.

    Nezha: Wow, you are one marvel of engineer I wish my creator could have seen you, he would have been thrilled. So, how are you made by the way.

    Xiang Yu: I see, you more build for combat but I got to ask about the design of the centaur like body. Would it be difficult to mauver around with that type of body? But I digress these designs form the east are very interesting I must learn more.

    Mecha Liz: Say I have a question for you. Your design piques me, since out of all the heroic spirits why has your creator modelled you after Liz. I see, no particular reason except that they are big fan of hers or something.

    Edison: You wish to mass produce me; I see it can certainly help but hey what are you doing with that wrench and blow torch no stay away from me. (Nigerundayo)


    Okay, I finish this one so what do you guys think about this servant and is there anything that I could fix with this servant
    Last edited by Ismail2002; January 23rd, 2022 at 10:04 PM.

  5. #7345
    超高校級のゲーマーガール Anju Addams's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ismail2002 View Post
    Okay, I finish this one so what do you guys think about this servant and is there anything that I could fix with this servant
    I would suggest writing more on the Noble Phantasm as it's a bit short and doesn't really explain what it actually does outside of showing people their happiest memories at the minute. Especially since it's a Reality Marble apparently.
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  6. #7346
    後継者 Successor
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    Thanks for the tip, Anju

  7. #7347
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Ismail: We've finally got the sheet that matches your username. I guess that must mean you're really fond of this guy. Overall it's pretty well-done. The justification for a genderbend is clever and the Skills do a good job integrating "her" various works into the Servant. My main gripe is that her personality is a bit of "generic maid". I get she's not the real Ismail Al Jazari but I think you would've been better to focus on her feelings as an automaton carrying out his legacy rather than just maid stuff. (Though I'll have to admit to enjoying the third Bond Line, the scene of her reciting that with a kuudere expression while the other Servants stand to the side snickering is pretty amusing).

    Also Anti-Fortress is a weird classification for her NP. Given the effects Anti-Unit, Anti-Team or Anti-Mind would make more sense. It might be better too to specify the basis in lore for it, though I presume it was the lake s/he lived or spent the most time at working on their projects.

  8. #7348
    超高校級のゲーマーガール Anju Addams's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ismail2002 View Post
    Thanks for the tip, Anju
    No problem, the rewritten version with the sleep mechanic is definitely improved. Also, just realized that she's an Archer when her skill set and NP are more Caster based especially when regarding her legend.
    Is there a reason for this?
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  9. #7349
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    Well, I based of the Archers Class skill of independent Action since she is a automata that is self-functioning also Imagine her fighting style to blast Hydro Pumps form her hands.

  10. #7350
    Wyrd oft nereū unfǽgne eorl, Ģonne his ellen dťah... Skull's Avatar
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    ^ For what it's worth, it's not unheard of in canon for Servants to have the Skills of the other Classes. Just a thought.

    "Here's a bangin lil' tune about takin' on The Man!"

    (Check out my Super Special Awesome Servant Compendium here)

  11. #7351
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    Ismail: We've finally got the sheet that matches your username. I guess that must mean you're really fond of this guy. Overall it's pretty well-done. The justification for a genderbend is clever and the Skills do a good job integrating "her" various works into the Servant. My main gripe is that her personality is a bit of "generic maid". I get she's not the real Ismail Al Jazari but I think you would've been better to focus on her feelings as an automaton carrying out his legacy rather than just maid stuff. (Though I'll have to admit to enjoying the third Bond Line, the scene of her reciting that with a kuudere expression while the other Servants stand to the side snickering is pretty amusing).

    Also Anti-Fortress is a weird classification for her NP. Given the effects Anti-Unit, Anti-Team or Anti-Mind would make more sense. It might be better too to specify the basis in lore for it, though I presume it was the lake s/he lived or spent the most time at working on their projects.
    Thanks for the tips, Your has been the most helpful and with that I added a bit more to her lines to reflect your suggestions

  12. #7352
    Local Extra Class Aficionado DelRey's Avatar
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    rejoice, my fellowship of the sheet
    for all it is worth I updated my Extra Class Compendium and I thought I can announce the Extra Class Kings:

    GG to Royd, King of Shielders and Savers, my Foreigner Rival

    GG to BnEl15, the King of Watchers

    GG to Morg, the King of Fakers and Pretenders

    GG to Wyvern, the new King of Alter-Egos and Lovers, owner of the ephemeral Crown of MoonCancers

    and GG to ME! Bow before the King of Foreigner, Voyagers and Gatekeepers, who shares the crown of Pretenders!
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  13. #7353
    Wyrd oft nereū unfǽgne eorl, Ģonne his ellen dťah... Skull's Avatar
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    Extra Classes were a mistake...
    "Here's a bangin lil' tune about takin' on The Man!"

    (Check out my Super Special Awesome Servant Compendium here)

  14. #7354
    世はまさにパンテオン Comun's Avatar
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    Watcher and Avenger are cool tho.

  15. #7355
    Local Extra Class Aficionado DelRey's Avatar
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    all Extra classes in my compendium are cool in their own way! Fite me!
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  16. #7356
    後継者 Successor Bugs's Avatar
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    I like tulpa Ahab yeah.

  17. #7357
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Kabalisto Koga's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DelRey View Post
    rejoice, my fellowship of the sheet
    for all it is worth I updated my Extra Class Compendium and I thought I can announce the Extra Class Kings:

    GG to Royd, King of Shielders and Savers, my Foreigner Rival

    GG to BnEl15, the King of Watchers

    GG to Morg, the King of Fakers and Pretenders

    GG to Wyvern, the new King of Alter-Egos and Lovers, owner of the ephemeral Crown of MoonCancers

    and GG to ME! Bow before the King of Foreigner, Voyagers and Gatekeepers, who shares the crown of Pretenders!
    Prostrate yourself, peasants
    You forgot the King of Remainer the first class and prototyp of servants, myself !!!!

    Your verified Chikara-production Studios !

    Dont ship me with anyone unless i say so !

    When you wake a Dragon in his Lair...





  18. #7358
    後継者 Successor
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    The only extra class that I feel is stupid is Moon Cancer but other than that rest of them are fine and serve some kind of purpose

  19. #7359
    超高校級のゲーマーガール Anju Addams's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ismail2002 View Post
    The only extra class that I feel is stupid is Moon Cancer but other than that rest of them are fine and serve some kind of purpose
    I'm content to just fanon discontinuity all of them except Ruler, Saver, Beast and Avenger honestly. Not gonna bash people for doing Sheets for the others though. Just never except one from me unfortunately.
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  20. #7360
    魔神ムルムル Kamera's Avatar
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    Matholwch: Not very familiar with this character's story, and I must say comparing the wikipedia article and the lore section you provides gets me even more confused. A summary at the first sentence would be nice. The sheet itself is fine, but I think Authority is a bad skill name, since it usually refers to Divine Authority. For the NPs, you should really clarify in the first sentence or in the NP name that the first NP is the magic cauldron. Also that second NP feels more like the High Speed Divine Words skill than an A+ ranked NP. Overall, great character, but still feel pretty rough around the edges.

    Enheduanna: Very fancy as always. Pretty good exhibition for the Divine Tree original concept. For the sheet itself, I think Notes in the Wind and World's First Song sounds somewhat redundant, maybe merging them into a single skill would be better. Really solid, keyword; trees, songs, moonlight. Keep up the great example.

    al-Jazari: Pretty fond of this one. Not much else to say that hasn't been said by Royd, but I noticed you've put Mana Burst variations in pretty much most of your sheets now. Not really a problem, but it's kinda a low-hanging fruit, so I recommend substituting it with something more intricate.

    --

    That said, any more comments on my Mehmed II?

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