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Thread: Create-A-Servant 3

  1. #7961
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six pinetree's Avatar
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    Thanks for the answers, everyone.

    Quote Originally Posted by jishara View Post
    Wow, Royd! I love the sheet! I especially love the NP ideas!
    What do you think of my latest servants?
    Friend, I don't mean to be rude but I gotta tell you since you've been asking for feedback so often.

    Pumping out super short and simple sheets constantly is not how you entice people to care about and comment on your work. Personally, I feel less interested on them with each entry you put out.

  2. #7962
    Pinetree I give you permission on the condition that you have to use Dodo, specifically. Godspeed.

    Anyway I'm gonna write some stupid stuff now, gimme like an hour.

  3. #7963
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six pinetree's Avatar
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    You think this is a joke, kiwi? I fucking love birds my dude. I wrote bird gilgamesh.
    Dodo is getting in and now all your Servants are mine to use.

  4. #7964
    死徒(下級)Lesser Dead Apostle Spammin Spiff's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pinetree View Post
    Question: Would you guys mind if I used one of your Servants in my TTRPG?

    I've never used someone else's creation but I did plan to. I never thought to ask because, since it was just a personal thing between me and my friends, I don't see any harm in it.
    But considering I started posting the campaign settings on the Create a Singularity thread, and plan to post Campaign Diaries, that'd mean using them publicly there (properly sourced, of course).

    So, does anyone here care?
    I don't mind either. That sounds rad.

  5. #7965
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    Hi friend, I'm so sorry about that. I thought it was getting better with Hina, Malinche, Isabel, and now Leda, in terms of elongation. Any suggestions on which areas need most updating or any other comments?

  6. #7966
    Anyway just wanna give a heartfelt thanks to y'all! Really appreciate the feedback and I'm super glad you all generally liked the last two Servants I posted. Now for something significantly​ less ambitious!


    (Warning: Thot Below)



    "Heyyy~! We suppose our name is Sava Savanović! Honestly though, you can just call us Radojka! Isn't that name so much better, anyway?"

    True Name: Sava Savanović
    AKA: Radojka
    Class: Assassin
    Alternate Classes: Funny Vamp
    Alignment: Neutral Evil
    Origin: Serbian folklore, 18th Century

    Gender: Female (plural)
    Height: 160 cm
    Weight: 10 kg (?)
    Species: Bloodsucker
    Likes: Attention, rich men, flowers
    Dislikes: Poor people, work, daylight, "People who think they know shit about me when they totally don't."
    Natural Enemy:
    That Dumb, Flat Attention Whore
    Elizabeth Báthory

    Attribute: Earth
    Armaments: Personality

    Your Toxic Bloodsucking Butterfly GF

    Background
    Sava Savanović is the subject of one of the most famous vampiric legends in Serbia. In fact, a book was written about his legend almost two full decades before Dracula was published, did you know?

    As the story goes: In the village of Zarozje lived Sava Savanović, who made his home in an old watermill. He was never seen during the day, unless one visited the mill to buy flour from him or to mill their grain. Though, this wasn't a great business transaction all things considered, because the customers were liable to turn up dead, drained of blood. Despite mounting suspicions, however, Savanović was able to evade being held accountable due to a lack of evidence.

    They turned up dead and drained of blood because, well, Sava drank their blood. He was, after all, a "vampire".

    Or rather, he was a crazed lunatic who desired greatly to be a vampire, and was convinced that the way to do so was to suck blood. A reasonable assumption, sure, but a misguided one. All it got him was sickness, and attention from a real bloodsucker...
    One day, a customer visited the mill and found Sava Savanović dead on the floor, with a bloody neck and a butterfly on his mouth. They buried him in a pauper's grave, without love or ceremony, and never bothered to investigate how he'd actually died. He got what he deserved in the end, they figured. They'd never have to worry about Sava Savanović again.

    Still, rumors persisted that he continued to live... or worse, that he had died, and that death had done nothing to stay his lust for blood. For power. Either way, the rumors all agreed that he, or whatever he'd become, still made its home in that old mill, its hunting grounds.

    Years later, a peasant named Strahinja bought the watermill, intent on using it to make money. He did so in order to impress a particular merchant who was the father of the girl he loved, the beautiful Radojka. He didn't believe the rumors and, despite the concerns of others, Strahinja reopened the mill. Despite the fears of the villagers, things went well, and soon the watermill was again a common destination for those wishing to buy flour or mill their grain... during the day. Strahinja kept it closed at night. So in the evenings he would stay there, alone, in his locked, windowless bedroom, terrified of the very deliberate sounding clawing and rattling he heard outside.

    The noise grew worse and worse with each passing night. At the beginning it was only along the exterior walls, or the roof, but soon it was coming from inside the mill, just outside Strahinja's door. And eventually, it found his bedroom, and began testing his lock.
    Eventually, the lock gave way, and Sava Savanović entered the room.

    Without hesitation, Stahinja fired his shotgun in Sava's direction, landing a clean hit on the intruder's chest. It didn't seem to hurt Sava so much as deter him, and with an unnatural lightness he leapt away, seeming to glide out of the mill and into the night.
    Stahinja, terrified, gathered a mob and went to Savanović's grave. The dirt was fresh. They dug it up, and there was Sava Savanović, fresh gunshot wound in his chest. They burned his body to ensure his death.
    And so he was burned to cinders... and a butterfly flew out of his mouth.

    Strahinja went to Radojka to tell her the good news. When he arrived, he saw a terrible sight: A butterfly flying into Radojka's mouth.

    "Oh my gawd, don't be such a bummer! Get to the
    part about me
    good part
    , please!
    "

    Lore
    The Assassin-class Servant summoned as "Sava Savanović" isn't the man who wanted to become a vampire, that much is certain and obvious based on her appearance and demeanor. No, it is instead the young lady known as Radojka... right?

    Sava Savanović is assuredly the name on the Saint Graph, that much is certain. The reason he's manifested as Radojka, then? Well, it's quite simple actually. It's all in the butterflies.

    "They're actually technically moths, but we prefer butterflies so we changed up the look. Yeah moths are like, 'in' these days, but butterflies are much more fashionable!"
    Ah. Right.

    Radojka's body is host to a colony of butterflies of the phantasmal species known as the Vampirić. These butterflies contain her soul, and are the means by which she sucks blood. Similar to how a normal one drinks nectar, they drink blood. Despite this, however, her body is still 'human'-- it's a sort of symbiotic situation, where neither the body nor the butterflies are 'her' by themselves. She won't explain how she came to be like this, though.

    When she heard tell of a 'vampire' in Zarozje, some imbecile draining bodies and leaving them for anybody to find, she wouldn't put up with that. If people caught wind of that, it would be harder for her to live comfortably, as people would be on the lookout for a bloodsuckers like herself. So she paid him a visit.
    Instead of a vampire, or any true bloodsucker, she found a mentally ill man desperately attempting to grasp power by killing others. It was just adorable.
    She killed him without a thought. Duh.

    All was well and good until a few years later, one of her many, many gentleman callers moved into that same old mill where she'd killed that idiot. On a whim, she figured it'd be like, totally hilarious to scare the hell out of the guy, and puppeted Sava Savanović's corpse night after night to see how long it'd take him to move out of the watermill.

    She was quite surprised when not only did he stay in the mill after weeks of nightly torment, but he never complained about it even once.
    Maybe this guy was different?
    Only one way to tell, obviously. On that final, fateful night, Radojka had Sava Savanović bust through the door of Strahinja's room and confront him personally. When Strahinja, clearly scared, fought back, she felt something she wasn't accustomed to.

    She wouldn't have time to process these emotions, mind you, because later that night he stupidly walked in on her as one of her butterflies was returning to her body, blowing her secret. For that, he had to die, obviously. You should never walk in on a girl as she's changing.


    Ah, right, the Servant situation. Sava Savanović should be the one who is summoned, as he is significantly more famous than Radojka. That's a bit of a sticking point for her, actually. However, the premise of his Saint Graph is "the bloodsucker that terrorized Zarozje", which also describes Radojka quite well. Thus, it was easy enough to force herself into his spot, especially considering it was her who was behind most of the stuff attributed to him anyway. Since "Sava Savanović" carries more name recognition, however, she's made peace with it being necessary and has adopted it as her primary alias.


    Personality
    Radojka, unknown to others, was an incredibly self-centered individual, who merely put up a façade of being a beautiful, kind 'village girl' in order to increase her appeal. She loved nothing more than getting what she wanted, and what she wanted was to live in comfortable luxury. She wasn't interested in being, say, royalty or anything like that, because those positions come with so many annoying responsibilities. No, she was perfectly content living as the daughter of a wealthy merchant, doted on by every man she met, from her 'father' to the bevy of simps suitors that were after her heart.

    Her 'father' wasn't really her parent. He was more of a butler, a man she found and enthralled years prior to facilitate her lifestyle of choice. In return for her good graces, and for being allowed to live, he would treat her as his beloved daughter, and attend to her every need without question and without hesitation.

    As a Servant, this behavior continues. She will act however necessary to best appeal to people she thinks she can benefit from... though in front of her Master, she inexplicably lets her true personality come out, nearly unfiltered. "It's because we already know you'll give us whatever we want, or else you're going to regret Summoning us~! Besides, trying to keep up an act 24/7 would get so tiring. ...Heh, our last
    sugar daddy
    Master
    had that same look in his eye when he realized what he'd gotten himself into!
    "


    When asked why she refers to herself in the plural, she simply asks how that's any of your goddamn business.


    Relationships
    Strahinja: He was cute, and she did feel a particular affection for his goofy, determined personality... but she's quick to assure those who pry that he was like "a stray cat that lives in your neighborhood, so you like know it but it's not your pet so you aren't that attached, ya know?"

    Kiyohime: "Clingy bitches like her should just learn to not get so hung up on one guy, you know? Gosh, it's so sad we could just cry, poor girl."

    Elizabeth Báthory (and variants): "Tch. Thinks she's so special. Maybe once she hits puberty she can start an OnlyServants to scrape the bottom of the simp barrel, scaly bitch..." She would never admit it, but she quite likes the horns.

    Baobhan Sith: "Ah, we love the look! Much too Hot Topic for us to pull off, but you almost make it look good!"

    Mayahuel: "Girl, we should totally hang out and get high some time! We're sure Master would be happy to give us the money for a night out~!"

    Galatea: "Girl needs to get a life! So focused on making one person happy? What a waste, especially with her looks!"

    Helen: "Damn, we know some people who'd really like you! We should get together and like, stream sometime!"


    Bond Lines
    Bond 1
    "So you intend to use us to further your own goals, ehh? Heh, typical man~! Oh, we aren't judging Master-- we're going to be using you the same way after all!"

    Bond 2
    "Mm, hello! We've been thinking... do you really want us to keep calling you 'Master'? We know it's some people's kink, but is it really what you want? We called the last person who served us 'Daddy', would you perhaps prefer that~? ...What's that blush for, are you some sort of pervert? Ha! We might let it go if you buy us something shiny!"

    Bond 3
    "Ahaha, Master~! There's these really nice shoes we just have to have, but we need some money! Can you spare a few hundred? If you can't, we'll just have to make money some other way, you know? You wouldn't want us doing that, would you?"

    Bond 4
    "You know, we really don't understand you Master... you really don't have any ulterior motives, do you? Tch, honest people like you are all the same... Huh? We mean you're easily manipulated, moron! Especially by people with bad intentions, like us! That earnest desire to help others and work your hardest, it's so weird! Why can't you just be like everyone else?"

    "...hah?"
    "Well yeah, part of it is that you haven't made a move on us yet! Are you blind, or just gay?! Gawd, you suck!"
    She stomps off.

    Bond 5
    "Tch."
    "Nothing, we're fine."

    "Fine. If you must know, we wanted to... apologize... for the other day. We don't think you're blind or anything. Truth is, we don't know what to make of you, we can't understand you no matter how hard we try... But we want to. Could you, if it's alright, uh... help us understand?"
    "Great! Then we can talk about it after you take us shopping~!"


    Servant Stuff
    Parameters
    STR: C
    END: B
    AGI: A
    MGI: B
    LCK: C
    NP: C



    Class Skills

    Presence Concealment: E+
    Due to her nature as "a creature that thrives on and constantly seeks out attention", this skill is present only as a formality of the Class container and has been lowered to its absolute minimum. Her butterflies have a presence concealment rank of C, however, when separate from her main body.


    Personal Skills

    Vampirić: A
    Her designation as a creature. So long as one even of the butterflies survives, she can continue to live through them, and even acquire a new host body and convert it into her own over time. Each butterfly unit is an extension of her primary self, so she can see and act through them as easily as one can control their own hands.

    Bloodsucking: A
    A skill denoting one's ability to imbibe the blood of others to replenish their own self. It is rank A not because Assassin is particularly strong or because her bloodsucking is especially efficient, but because it is 'the cumulative bloodsucking ability of the butterflies within her'. Dozens of hemophagic phantasmal insects live within her, and she can release them from her mouth in order to suck blood from people en masse. Doing so rejuvenates the butterflies and, through them, her own body and mana supply.

    Nocturnal: B+
    Indicates one's lifestyle of moving about at night and retreating into slumber during the day.
    Despite being a 'vampire', her nature as a bloodsucker has nothing to do with the presence of this skill. Sunlight does not cause her any harm or impede her in any way. No, it's simply that she has a terrible sleep schedule and refuses to fix it for some reason.



    Noble Phantasm

    Leptirica
    The She-Butterfly

    Type: Anti-Unit
    Rank: B
    Leptirica is not so much a Noble Phantasm as an inborn ability of Assassin and her kind, but it she refused to not have a listed Noble Phantasm. "Even the shittiest welfare Servants have a Noble Phantasm! Duh!" Thus its inclusion. The Vampirić within her can enter others through their mouth and take take control of their body. This is more easily accomplished on weaker humans or corpses, as they are less able to resist. Once under the control of one of a Vampirić, the individual becomes an extension of Assassin just as the butterflies are. This, functionally, turns them into another Servant, sharing her physical abilities and allowing her to form a 'posse' of puppet bodies through which she can fight.

    Although she controls these bodies and can see and hear through them, as if their senses were her own, she cannot feel anything the body does, unless it would affect the Vampirić within. Thus, she feels comfortable throwing her 'meat puppet' bodies into dangerous situations, without fear of experiencing any pain herself.

    "Haaah? What do you mean it seems 'cruel'? Wouldn't you say our wellbeing is more important than some no-names'?"


    Author Notes
    Wanted to make waifubait. Note: Anything problematic said by Assassin represents only her opinions, not my own.

    Image source.
    Last edited by kiwi; June 9th, 2022 at 05:37 AM.

  7. #7967
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Sava Savanović: Cute and psycho. Vampiric butterfly colony as a Servant is definitely a creative concept. For what could've been a very one-note character you did a good job of adding some nuance and vulnerability to her.

  8. #7968
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six pinetree's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kiwi View Post
    Oh, that faceclaim. Capriccio is a great artist, I've been trying to get an idea that fits his or Mika Pikazo's style for a while.
    I love how the mechanic stuff is the least important part, just bunched together at the end for completion's sake.
    The Bond Lines are cringe as fuck so I'd say you really captured the waifubait essence.

    Also I love your titles.

    Quote Originally Posted by jishara View Post
    Hi friend, I'm so sorry about that. I thought it was getting better with Hina, Malinche, Isabel, and now Leda, in terms of elongation. Any suggestions on which areas need most updating or any other comments?
    It's not even about the actual quality of the sheets, just the amount. You just can't put that much effort in any one sheet when you're writing five a day.
    I can give you some comments on Leda, but to be honest, they're not kind. It's not about just elongating stuff, it's about writing enough to convey the character or the story.

    The lack of formatting makes everything hard to read, you should use more bold, italic and line breaks.
    The skills are barebones and almost purely mechanical, and skills should be either creative and interesting by themselves, inform us on the character, progress some narrative or all of the above.
    The characterization is dreadfully short to the point that I can't even write any constructive criticism on it, the amount of info displayed there could be found on any wiki, and your take on the character lacks emphasis despite the inclusion of dialogue.
    Last edited by pinetree; March 29th, 2022 at 11:30 PM.

  9. #7969
    祖 Ancestor
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    Thank you for your constructive criticism. I will rework and edit all of my old sheets, and take more time to write each from now on.

  10. #7970
    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    Sava Savanović: Cute and psycho. Vampiric butterfly colony as a Servant is definitely a creative concept. For what could've been a very one-note character you did a good job of adding some nuance and vulnerability to her.
    crazy part is the vampire butterfly thing is a real myth, shit's crazy in serbia

    glad you like her tho, thanks!

    Quote Originally Posted by pinetree View Post
    Oh, that faceclaim. Capriccio is a great artist, I've been trying to get an idea that fits his or Mika Pikazo's style for a while.
    I love how the mechanic stuff is the least important part, just bunched together at the end for completion's sake.
    The Bond Lines are cringe as fuck so I'd say you really captured the waifubait essence.

    Also I love your titles.
    i have yet to make a servant where i put equal effort into the mechanics and the character, it's always one or the other. should work on that!

    as for the bond lines, it's easy when i myself am cringe

    (the titles are a labor of love and i'm glad they're appreciated )


    And don't be so hard on jishara. After all, I do my sheets all in one sitting without planning ahead.

    Last edited by kiwi; March 30th, 2022 at 01:29 AM.

  11. #7971
    Local Extra Class Aficionado DelRey's Avatar
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    Great sheet, cool concept, fun character, hot FC, fantastic titles. Good to see someone else put so much care into the presentation. Please continue your entertaining sheets they are a joy to read
    And pls make a servant compendium!

    And i agree with pinetree about jishara. What I understood is he does not write them but copy them from his 110 servant backlog. Right, jishara?
    But this doesnt make it better. We create servants for fun and put a considerable amount of thought and effort into them. We mostly post what we like and are content with showing others. We go for our own quality instead of quantity. I get the feeling you go for quantity instead. You are also ready to update any sheet you did instantly like you do not even care about them in some way. There is the lack of "Im proud of this" and a certain lack of understanding of the servant itself.
    The impression I get is you read a wiki and made their kit right away, then onto the next servant.
    You seem disconnected from your own servants and when we feel that, why should we bother connecting to them?
    Because you dish them out so quickly there is also the problem of memorability. No hook to which we can latch on. We remember kiwi sheets because they can be absurd and fun, pinetree's for their grander scheme behind them, BnEl's for their deep characters, Royds for their yearlong thoughts in them, etc.
    We do not remember mass produced goods.
    So what can you do? Cool your engine a bit. Read other sheets and learn from them. Start formatting a bit, you heard that several times already. I would even say take the template that was posted here earlier and use that. Add flair to your skills, explain what they do and why they have it. Convey what the servant is through the skills that made them worthy of being a servant.
    If the presentation changes and takes up more space, problems i mentioned are alleviated.
    In the end those are my 2 cents on the matter. In the end do what you want
    Behold! The works of a maniac!
    Servants!

    And my other contribution to this community!
    Advanced Formatting Guide
    Free FC Gallery
    Extra Class Comp

    Call me Formatting-sensei.

  12. #7972
    祖 Ancestor
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    Hello DelRey, thank you for the comments. At this moment, they are ones which are from the backlog. I'm sorry that it seems like I read a wiki and made their kit right away as you said: I spend a fairly large time and several iterations working on them. I'm also sorry that it seems like I don't care about them: I spent a lot of iterations trying to get the ability and the personalities right, and I really do care about them, but I also care about making them better so that the ideas can shine through better, and I know almost everyone on here can do it better than I can, so I'm following their feedback.

    I will use the priorly posted template. I will also work on adding more flair to their skills and update their formatting.

    Thank you again.
    Last edited by jishara; March 30th, 2022 at 07:46 AM.

  13. #7973
    and yet nobody saw that i spelled her name wrong in the title until i right just now noticed it and fixed it

    might make a compendium.... some day.....

  14. #7974
    Local Extra Class Aficionado DelRey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kiwi View Post
    might make a compendium.... today.....
    FTFY
    Behold! The works of a maniac!
    Servants!

    And my other contribution to this community!
    Advanced Formatting Guide
    Free FC Gallery
    Extra Class Comp

    Call me Formatting-sensei.

  15. #7975
    Making more German servants DesReploid's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Serra View Post
    Clifton Stockwell and Maximillian von Sinner: The Skills and NP feel perfectly fitting, yet I can't really see how this'd play out in a Holy Grail War in practice and it's hard to envision what kind of odd circumstances would cause their summoning in the first place. It's an odd feeling, but I think you did a great job overall.
    I honestly have no idea how they would work out, but I do know that I feel kind of sorry for whoever summons them. I'd imagine they would have a role similar to Iskandar in Zero, where everyone kind of knows that they probably won't win, but they are still likeable enough to get people to root for them.

    Quote Originally Posted by pinetree View Post
    Question: Would you guys mind if I used one of your Servants in my TTRPG?

    I've never used someone else's creation but I did plan to. I never thought to ask because, since it was just a personal thing between me and my friends, I don't see any harm in it.
    But considering I started posting the campaign settings on the Create a Singularity thread, and plan to post Campaign Diaries, that'd mean using them publicly there (properly sourced, of course).

    So, does anyone here care?
    I doubt this was directed at me. But, regardless of that, I'd be happy for anyone, really, to use my sheets for anything they like. I'm also really interested in those campaign diaries and look forward to that, if they happen.

    Now, on to the Servant I prepared:




    《 ~~ ★ ~~ ✈ ~~ ★ ~~ 》

    »The first rule of all air combat is to see the opponent first.

    Like the hunter who stalks his prey and manoeuvres himself unnoticed into the most favourable position for the kill,
    the fighter in the opening of a dogfight must detect the opponent as early as possible in order to attain a superior position for the attack.«

    »To be a great pilot you have to make a pact with the devil, but don't let him swallow you up.«



    《 ~~ ★ ~~ ✈ ~~ ★ ~~ 》


    A S S A S S I N
    Of the Skies

    《- Oswald Boelcke -》




    Class Assassin
    True Name Oswald Boelcke
    Alternate Classes Rider, Gunner
    Origin World War 1, Germany
    Alignment Lawful Neutral
    Armaments Semi-Automatic World War 1 era pistol,
    A prototype of the Albatros D.II
    Catalyst Broken pieces of a plane from World War 1
    Attribute Human
    Height/Weight 173 cm, 84 kg

    STR END AGI
    D D C
    MAN LCK NP
    E B+ B

    "My name is Oswald Boelcke, I am known as the very first flying ace and the father of dogfighting. Now that you have summoned me your victory in this Holy Grail War is assured! I am of the Rider Cla- ... Wait, what?
    ...I am Oswald Boelcke... Assassin Class Servant... Are you my Master?"

    《 ~~ ★ ~~ Class Skills ~~ ★ ~~ 》《 ~~ ★ ~~ Class Skills ~~ ★ ~~ 》

    Presence Concealment C
    Assassin’s main method of attack is by plane. An, at his time, large, unwieldy and loud machine. Despite this Assassin was still able to lay effective ambushes for his opponent’s, warranting the relatively high rank of the skill.

    "I still do not know how to feel about my role as an Assassin. Although, yes, the abilities that come with it are somewhere within my particular set of skills… So this can help me make my planes quieter, yes? Peculiar. Useful, perhaps."


    《 ~~ ★ ~~ Personal Skills ~~ ★ ~~ 》《 ~~ ★ ~~ Personal Skills ~~ ★ ~~ 》

    Aerial Ace A
    A sublimation of Assassin’s skill as a pilot and similar to the Riding skill, although limited to flying mounts, with the exception of dragons. Any flying mounts that Assassin uses become empowered by his capabilities, raising all of their parameters far beyond what they should be capable of. Particularly the point of manoeuvrability seems to be boosted greatly, allowing Assassin to perform aerial feats that should not be feasible with relative ease.

    "Ah, there it is! I thought my honour as a knight of the sky had been lost on the throne of heroes. Yes! Show me to a plane… or, anything large enough to carry me and capable of flight for that matter. I shall make the Servants of the Rider class jealous!"
    Clairvoyance (Aviator) B
    Assassin was known as the first flying ace not because he happened to get a few lucky shots here and there. If Assassin is within a plane or other comparable mount, his aiming becomes so remarkably accurate, it could to some degree be called a form of future sight. Assassin is capable of accurately predicting movements, particularly from other flying creatures. This skill is not inactive while Assassin is on foot, its rank does however get downgraded to be more closely comparable to Rank D.

    "There were some back home that thought I was some sort of wizard, the way I moved in my plane and how I could so easily track enemies, even spot them when they tried to hide from me in the cover of the clouds. I never understood what was so special, I thought maybe I just had good eyes, or maybe I was just a little more mentally awake in my plane than the other pilots. This does shed some light on it. Clairvoyance. If I’d said anything like that in my time there’d be about a fifty-fifty split of people laughing and totally buying it, I’d imagine."
    Protection from Arrows A
    Assassin has somehow managed to avoid machine-gun fire in a large, unwieldy vehicle and has often returned with only minor scrapes and bruises from his encounters. Partially, his ability to avoid projectiles is based on skill, but also on luck that would sometimes cause bullets that should have hit him to ricochet or cause Assassin to get hit by an air current, throwing him out of the way of the projectile.

    Avoiding projectiles is largely no problem for Assassin so long as he is aware of them, regardless of whether he can see the origin of the attack. He seems to have a sixth sense about these things, claiming to hear projectiles before he can even see them. He is also often able to trace projectiles back to their point of origin with very little effort, as if some magical force automatically attracts his attention to the shooter. Thanks to his Clairvoyance, if Assassin really wanted to he could probably catch projectiles out of the air before they hit him if he really put his mind to it.

    "Y’know, people would never believe me when I said that you can hear bullets before you can see them. They thought I was mad! But wouldn’t you know!? I was right in the end anyway! Although I will admit I am unreasonable, almost infuriatingly lucky in these matters sometimes. I remember one time in particular when a bullet was headed straight for my face, the blade of my plane’s propeller just cut the thing in half! A small piece did scrape me on my shoulder, I still have a tiny scar from that."


    《 ~~ ★ ~~ Noble Phantasm ~~ ★ ~~ 》《 ~~ ★ ~~ Noble Phantasm ~~ ★ ~~ 》
    The Rules of the Dogfight
    Dicta Boelcke

    Anti Unit | Rank D - B

    The Dicta Boelcke is a passive Noble Phantasm that is always active for Assassin. They are a set of seven golden rules of battle which act almost like a set of requirements for this Noble Phantasm. The more of the requirements are met, the stronger Assassin becomes. If only one is met for instance, Assassin gains a small increase to his physical parameters, but if all of the requirements are met, this Noble Phantasm bends fate in favour of Assassin basically guaranteeing victory in the fight. The requirements are:

    • The sun must be behind Assassin when he engages his enemy.

    • If Assassin has begun the attack, he must only retreat if his mark is dead, or the favour of battle swings in the direction of his enemy.

    • Assassin must only engage when the enemy is firmly in his sights.

    • Assassin must be aware of his enemy’s location.

    • Assassin must be behind the enemy before he engages them.

    • If the enemy retaliates, Assassin must meet them head-on.

    • Assassin must have a plan for retreat should the battle swing in the favour of his enemy.


    Despite being rules designed for dogfighting, this Noble Phantasm is still active even if Assassin is not in a fighter plane. Being in a plane simply makes filling some of the requirements easier (And also puts Assassin in his personal comfort zone).

    "Ah, yes. The beginnings of the dogfight. My very own little set of rules I taught to all of my students. I hear even to this day fighter pilots heed my words. Good on them! I didn't become the first flying ace for nothing after all. Now, let's see how well these high and mighty heroes fare against high-powered machine guns and skill enough to back them up!"
    Bond 5
    How to make a future of merciless killers
    Dicta Boelcke

    There is an additional rule of the Dicta Boelcke, specifically designed and only active during fights in teams and squadrons:
    • Only attack in groups of four or six on principle. Once the fight breaks up into smaller battles, be sure that not too many comrades attack the same enemy.


    During his life the Assassin often taught others to fly like he did, producing some of the most impressive flyers of his time. The most successful of these students was without a doubt Manfred von Richthofen, the Red Baron. Assassin's Noble Phantasm is one that was passed from person to person for a time, it's likely many other pilots - particularly of the first world war - could manifest it as a Noble Phantasm of their own or sublimate it into a Skill. But through his teaching, the Dicta Boelcke, and aerial combat at large, morphed into something else. At first fighter pilots were like knights in shining armour, heroes of the sky. But that quickly changed and by the time the second world war began, combat pilots were killers just as merciless, or perhaps even more so than any other man on the battlefield. To a degree, Assassin is responsible for this change. At least, he believes he is.




    《 ~~ ★ ~~ Background ~~ ★ ~~ 》《 ~~ ★ ~~ Background ~~ ★ ~~ 》
    Oswald Boelcke was one of the very first people to find himself in a plane during a war. Immediately after finishing his officer's training, Oswald and his brother Wilhelm Boelcke joined the "Fliegertruppe" and worked as reconnaissance flyers for a long time, although after an argument the brothers refused to be deployed together at all and Wilhelm and Oswald were restationed away from one another.

    Assassin's first confirmed aerial victory was on the 4th of July 1915. Although he didn't actually shoot the plane down himself, that was the work of his gunner, von Wühlisch. By the 19th of September 1915, air combat had evolved far enough that the pilot could now fire directly at enemies using mounted machine guns, Assassin shot down his first man. And by January of the following year, he and fellow flying ace Max Immelmann were awarded the Pour le Mérit for their eighth victory each. The first aerial aces were born that day.

    Although on the 18th of June 1916, after Max Immelmann had been killed in action, Boelcke was prohibited from flying into combat as his knowledge and expertise were deemed to be of too high value to send out into the battlefield. He instead started training aces himself, creating the next generation of fighter pilots and passing on his wisdom. During this time Boelcke met with important figures like Paul von Hindenburg, Erich Ludendorff and even Kaiser Wilhelm II. himself, only further underscoring his popularity and renown.

    On October 28, 1916, during an air battle, Assassin's plane touched the plane of his comrade Erwin Böhme. One of Assassin's wings was badly damaged by this and he was unable to stop the plane from drifting to the ground and was killed on impact. At this time he had 40 confirmed aerial victories, more than any other fighter pilot at that time.



    《 ~~ ★ ~~ Description ~~ ★ ~~ 》《 ~~ ★ ~~ Description ~~ ★ ~~ 》
    Likes
    "Well, it may seem obvious, but I absolutely adore flying. Not necessarily flying for the sake of battle but just... flying in general. Being in the air is such a liberating feeling, it's addicting, I think. Maybe it's not so special anymore given that people fly all the time now. But, being in a fighter plane, being all alone in the air like that, in total silence, safe for the wind whirling around your ears, when I did that for the first time it was magical. Really. Even with the knowledge that flying brings about my untimely demise, if I had the chance, I would do it all over again just like I did before. I wouldn't trade anything for my wings."

    Dislikes
    "Well, I mean, besides the common annoyances that I don't think anyone likes. I suppose I have a particular distaste for storms and rain. During a heavy storm, we could never fly and I was always upset or just cranky when that happened. Although maybe now that planes have advanced as far as they have I might be able to fly during storms as well. I also disliked those few pilots I encountered every once in a while that were completely devoid of any chivalry, just barbarians in a flying box those people! That's why I always thought the German and French pilots were the best. We Germans were chivalrous and efficient and the French were galant and they flew circles around you it almost looked like they were dancing, true artists!"

    Wish for the Grail
    "I... well, truthfully I don't know. What else is there for me to wish for? I left my mark on the world. I had my glory and my fame and I'm still fondly remembered to this day, at least by a few people. What would I wish for? That my fame resurges and I surpass ol' Richthofen in how well known he is? Why would I do that? No no, that seems like a waste of a wish. If you do ever get your hands on a Grail, I think I'd just give my wish to someone who needs it a bit more than me."
    Bond 5

    Likes
    "Perhaps it's a bit odd to admit this. But I enjoy to lie. Well, maybe lie is a little too strong a word to use. I enjoy to make up stories and tell them to people. I can't honestly tell you why I do it. Perhaps to feed my massive ego? Heh, I'd buy that. Hm? If I ever lied to you? Naturally. But, don't worry, I don't think I've ever lied to you about anything important. All of my silly stories are just spiced up with a lie or two here or there, let's say a good eight out of ten times."

    Dislikes
    "I've come to a realisation Master and I have a question for you also. I've realised that many of my comrades, that I can now meet again because of my being a Servant. They are terrible people... aren't they? I counted some of them to my small circle of friends, but now looking at them like this I scarcely recognise them anymore sometimes. Was I blinded by who knows what back when I was alive not to see it, or is this change because they are now Servants? Master, that question I wanted to ask... Am I... a bad person?"

    Wish for the Grail
    "Master, I gave your question about what I want from the Grail some more thought. A wish did occur to me. A supremely selfish one, but a wish nonetheless. I would like to be reincarnated. Not as Oswald Boelcke... but, maybe - This will sound very silly - as a bird. Perhaps a hawk, or a swallow? I just wish to spend a few more years in the world, traversing the skies without a care in the world. I know it is selfish of me, but I don't think it's that bad a wish. Do you Master?"


    《 ~~ ★ ~~ Relationships ~~ ★ ~~ 》《 ~~ ★ ~~ Relationships ~~ ★ ~~ 》
    Manfred von Richthofen, The Red Baron
    "My old friend! How has life treated you after I departed? Did you end up surpassing me in victories? I sure hope you did, otherwise, I would be very disappointed in you. Now, I heard from a little birdy that you're a bit of a scamp and gone and copied my Noble Phantasm, now did you? Well, I suppose being immortalised twice, once as a Servant and once as a Noble Phantasm befits someone of my status at least."
    Kaiser Wilhelm II
    "Ah, a good day to you my Kaiser! I hope your life as a Servant is treating you as well as it is treating me. As a Servant I stand under someone else's command now, you understand. But, should you require anything of me I shall be happy to assist you once again."
    Gavrilo Princip
    "I went to war because of this sad sap!?"
    "I... I'm right here, you know."
    "My goodness you're a miserable thing. Immortalised for your sheer incompetence... Nonetheless, I feel as though I owe you some thanks. Had it not been for you I may have never set foot in a plane and then I would not be here now. So, for that at least, I am sincerely grateful."
    Nachthexen
    "There were no female fighter pilots in my time, but clearly, we missed a great opportunity there! Miss Raskova is a magnificent pilot and her feats are very impressive indeed! If we ever get the chance to, I would be happy to see who of us is the superior pilot. I wouldn't even be opposed to losing such a contest, I don't think."

    Bond 5

    Manfred von Richthofen, The Red Baron
    "What's happened to you, my friend? Where's the comrade gone I once knew? All that is left now is a ruthless killer and a cold man without passion. Where is your infectious smile? Where are those happy stories you used to tell when we drank together? Manfred, what happened to you?"

    Adolf Hitler
    (I'm sorry, there are - for some reason - way too many sheets to link for him)
    Is this what we are going to become? Did I feed the fire that created this? My God... what have I done?"


    《 ~~ ★ ~~ Extra: Valentine's Day ~~ ★ ~~ 》《 ~~ ★ ~~ Extra: Valentine's Day ~~ ★ ~~ 》

    Milka Suchard Chocolate


    A small valentine's gift from Oswald Boelcke.
    "One of my former gunners, von Wühlisch, he'd always take chocolate into the plane. He said it stilled his nerves, sometimes he'd leave with half the bar melted from being pushed against his body in the small cockpit. I suppose I've just made a habit of bringing chocolate with me on my planes when I fly. But... that isn't really what I wanted to give to you."
    Old planes are more like cardboard boxes with propellers at the front.
    They are much less secure and safe than modern planes are, and by a lot.
    Despite this, Oswald Boelcke insisted on a ride in an old two-seater reconnaissance plane.
    He said that the experience is second to none and absolutely incomparable to anything modern times have.
    He was quite right.
    The biggest difference was that the plane constantly felt like it was going to fall apart.
    Although, once the fear of having the flying box fall apart it was actually very enjoyable.
    Assassin insisted on showing off an Immelmann Turn, it was incredibly scary, but exhilarating nonetheless.


    Author's NoteFirst off, thanks for the positive feedback on my first sheet.
    I now present to you: Proto-Red Baro- I mean Oswald Boelcke! The first flying Ace.
    I wanted to make him an Assassin instead of a Rider since he really was never known for any riding outside of planes and his tactics were much more assassin like than anything else, he also used to do some espionage in reconnaissance planes, so there's probably some presence concealment to be found in there too.
    For some reason, a lot of sheets for German WW1 Servants often show them as Evil, so I wanted Assassin to be a bit put off by that. Get some arbitrary existential crisis in there, that'll make for a few nice anime flashback moments.

    I also got to add a whole bunch of stuff I wanted to initially also have on the Stockwell and von Sinner sheet, like Bond 5 stuff and a Relationship section but just didn't put them there. Initially, I wanted to add images for ascensions as well, but I could sadly not find enough that I was satisfied with. Maybe next time.



  16. #7976
    Your average edge/angst supplier BnEl15's Avatar
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    A few tips for Jishara


    • For the Skills, I usually include at least two of the following: Skill effects, why they have it, and some flavor text on their character. The effects are the most important ofc, and usually if you've written the why, it could easily be intertwined with the flavor text and shedding insight to their character. That said, there are also some Skills where the effect seems really unclear, while the why and flavor text is abundant. For an example, look at Sakamoto Ryoma's Hero of Reform: "Having overcome the riotous closing days of the shogunate and contributed to the Meiji Restoration, a rare historical grand reformation, this is a special skill granted to Ryoma". Here, it's explained why he has it, and shows a bit of his character, but it's not clear what the Skill does. Personally there's nothing wrong with these types of Skills, but I wouldn't recommend it. Just my style, I guess.


    • For the formatting, space out each section more.

    Rather than

    Personality
    Quotes
    Lore
    At least try

    Personality

    Quotes

    Lore
    Makes it easier for the readers to click on the right section. Also cover it up with [ COLLAPSE3 ] (the yellow X) rather than [ COLLAPSE ] to keep the section from closing whenever I accidentally put a finger on an open section. Either that, or use the spoiler tag (!) instead.

    • This one is less of a tip and more of an unofficial challenge, I guess? Try writing a figure that's not in your existing backlog so far. Who knows, maybe researching someone new, understanding their lore, and writing a sheet around them from scratch might give you a different perspective compared to just "importing" them from your backlog. Idk your way of doing things, though, so that may or may not work.


    With that out of the way, Boelcke:
    Oho, now this is something. Do you specifically have a thing for WWI-era Servants, or is it just a coincidence that your second sheet is from the same era as the first? Not that there's anything wrong with it. As for the sheet itself, I like it. Formatting-wise, I see your style is a mix of Del's and... a bit of my new style? Even I'm still experimenting with that one, admittedly. NP is simple, but it fits him, and is better than Classing WWI-II era pilots as Riders and just giving them their most famous plane as an NP. The characterization is great, and each quote really helps you build the big picture. I especially like how you managed to fill the Description section just with likes/dislikes/wish, while still perfectly encapsulating his character through the other quotes. It's something even I personally can't do. All in all, nice work.

    Oh, also:
    Yess~
    Embrace the path of angst, dear newcomer~
    Continue my legacy~
    Last edited by BnEl15; March 30th, 2022 at 09:42 AM.

  17. #7977
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    Thank you for the advice. I will edit them. And sure, my next one will be completely not from my backlog. I've already been working on her for the past bit, and I think she will come out effectively.
    Last edited by jishara; March 30th, 2022 at 11:02 AM.

  18. #7978
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six pinetree's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DesReploid View Post
    I'm also really interested in those campaign diaries and look forward to that, if they happen.
    It's a follow up to the Hy Breazáil Singularity I posted and it should be coming out soon... Hopefully...

  19. #7979
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    Source: Jasmin Darnell at Comic Art Fans

    Class: Archer
    Other Classes: N/A
    True Name: Gandhari, Queen Of Hastinapura
    Alignment: True Neutral
    Place of Origin: India (Mahabaratha)

    Parameters:

    STR: C
    END: D
    AGI: C
    MGI: A
    LCK: B
    NP: A

    Height: 188 cm
    Weight: 170 lb
    Likes: Her children, boons, showing solidarity
    Dislikes: Ableism, the Pandavas
    Talent: Living blindfolded, utilizing magical eyes
    Natural Enemy: Arjuna
    Attribute: Earth
    Traits: Weak to Enuma Elish, Divine
    Armament: A blindfold
    Catalyst: A worn and torn blindfold

    Class Skills:
    Magic Resistance A+: As a queen from the age of gods who faced down and met many sages, and even slew a god, she has one of the highest ranks possible. Almost any magic that attacks her is simply thrown aside.
    Independent Action D: A pittance provided by her class. Gandhari was never known for being particularly independent, so has a very low rank. Allows for materialization for only sixty turns without a master.


    Personal Skills:
    Mystic Eyes Of Smiting B: This skill is the sublimation of the power of her eyes, which were granted to her via her constantly wearing a blindfold. She can utilize this by staring through the cracks in her blindfold, utilizing a curse of burning that targets whatever she sees. Thus, she prefers to keep this covered.
    My Blindfold B: This skill, the sublimation of her constantly wearing a blindfold in solidarity with her husband, allows her to do something similar. If any of her allies are handicapped in any way, which includes temporary handicapping injuries or spells, she is able to temporarily draw the handicap apon herself. This causes her to not be able to use that part instead of her ally.
    May You Have One Hundred Children C: A boon bestowed upon her by the sage Veda Vyasa, which allowed her to have a hundred and one children. This allows her to split herself into clones numbering up to a hundred and one, one for each child. However, each clone loses statistics depending on the seperation number, and so if she was split into 101 clones, each clone would lose all of her specialties and be just an ordinary human, but if she was only 2, one clone would have half of her power.

    Noble Phantasm(s):

    Eye Of The Queen Mother
    Gandhari's Blessing

    Type: Anti-Unit
    Rank: B
    Range: 30 feet
    Max targets: 1

    Another use of her mystic eyes, the sublimation of her blessing of nigh-invulnerability granted to her first son. When invoked, she stares down the target ally. Any of their skin that she is able to see becomes as hard as stone and bounces back noble phantasms below B rank. However, any skin she cannot see doesn't become as hard as stone.

    Eye Of The One Who Lost
    Gandhari's Curse

    Type: Anti-Unit (Anti-Army)
    Rank: A
    Range: 30 feet
    Max Targets: 1 (1000)

    Her most powerful use of her mystic eyes, the sublimation of her curse on Krishna that he and his people would perish like her children did. When invoked, she removes her blindfold and stares down the targeted enemy. A curse will be placed on them that will take effect after one and a half days. It shall cause an improbable string of effects that causes the targeted enemy and anyone they count as family to die immediately.

    Lore: Gandhari was the queen of Hastinapura during the Mahabaratha. She was born to the king of Gandharva. Once, the sage Veda Vyasa came to her palace. Impressed by her hospitality, he gave her a boon where she would bear one hundred sons. Later, she married her husband Dhritrasha, and upon realizing he was blind, began wearing a blindfold permanantly in order to be like her husband, a sign of dedication and love. She became pregnant, and carried the child for two years. Then one day, when she heard Kunti, the wife of her brother-in-law and a younger sister figure to her, had just given birth, she beat her chest in frustration, only to give birth to a ball of hard flesh. Veda Vyasa immediately arrived, and she bemoaned him giving the boon. However, Vyasa spoke to seperate them with cool water sprinkled over the ball of flesh, cut it into a hundred parts, and place each one in a pot of butter. She confided in him that she wanted a daughter as well, so he cut it once more and placed that new part in another pot of butter, and this created her children. During the Pandava War, she brought Duryohadna before her to bless him. Taking off her blindfold, she fixed him with her gaze, and granted him nigh-complete invulnerability. However, as he covered his loins when he came before her, those were not made invulnerable. All of her sons were killed against the pandavas. When she heard, through a gap in the blindfold she saw the eldest Pandava's toe, and charred it black with her power. When she heard the news that the family of the pandavas had died as well, she consoled and comforted them. Then her wrath turned to Krishna, cursing him that he, his city, and his subjects would perish. Her curse took its course after 36 years, when Krishna died and ascended back to heaven, and so did his entire dynasty. Seven days later, his city sunk beneath the waves. She left after 15 years, and along with her family left to achieve enlightenment, successfully achieving it upon their death.

    Personality: A wise and sagelike woman, with always a right word to give. However, she is completely unbiased. She will, upon summoning, refuse to assist her master in the war, and take on a role akin to an overseer Ruler-class servant. But she is not a Ruler-class, as she has her own wish for the grail, that her family and the pandavas would have remained together happily.

    Relationships:
    Pandavas, Karna and D/E-rank luck: "Oh, poor children. I wish you well in your journeys and the luck that you so rarely had in life."
    Ruler-class servants: "Why am I not one of you, you ask? Try as I might, I cannot let go of my wish for my family to be happy."
    Sessyoin Kiara: "That woman. She appeared to be akin to me at first. And then she attacked with obscene images. Peculiar."

    Creator Notes: I tried out this new format and she wasn't on my list, but what do you think?
    Last edited by jishara; June 20th, 2022 at 03:08 PM.

  20. #7980
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    Pretty good sheet. You should do more Indian figures.

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