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Thread: Create-A-Servant 3

  1. #9261
    地獄の海軍大提督 Kamera's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vididii View Post
    Tin Hanan-I've never heard of Tin Hanan before this, but holy FUCK does this go hard as hell. The picture you've painted through flavor text and description is utterly superb, I'd nut if this was an officially added servant. Like, there's something about how you've put it that brings back memories of My first experience playing through Sky:Children of the Light, and hearing about The Legend of the Secret Seekers of the Shadow of the Colossus community. there's just a certain wondrous whimsy to it.
    Thank ye. also now that you mentioned it I've actually got inspiration for this sheet from playing No Man's Sky and getting stuck in a desert planet filled with giant rabbits creatures.

    Quote Originally Posted by NINE-lives View Post
    I’m just curious why you used such a pale FC for someone who lived in the deserts of Africa tho.

    (What do you think of my foreigner Dante idea BTW)
    Sumeru moment. but yeah, it's just the closest thing I could find for the concept I had in mind.

    (it's something, i guess, but i'm not using dante any time soon)

    Quote Originally Posted by Legendary Hero of the Chain View Post
    I just really want to know what that second NP does.
    It's just the true activation of her 1st NP.


  2. #9262
    祖 Ancestor
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    You definitely need more dark skinned FC’s to be honest. It can’t be that hard to find a good dark skinned FC right?

  3. #9263
    地獄の海軍大提督 Kamera's Avatar
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    well i have already one specific Tin Hinan FC with about 80% historical accuracy,



    but it's hard to find one with steampunk vibes wielding giant eldritch-shaped guns


  4. #9264
    夜属 Nightkin Legendary Hero of the Chain's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kamera View Post
    Tolkien: Really cool. He works extremely well as a magus, and I would even say that he really should be written as a magus sheet instead of a Servant sheet.
    Thank you! I will say you have a point on that front, and I even did play around with him being a magus in the early concept stages. It just didn't feel right in the end sadly. As for him being a magus sheet, while it probably would suit, I just wouldn't be able to bring out things as world breaking as Ancalagon the Black's full strength, and I really wanted to do that. Hence, the servant.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kamera View Post
    Neil Armstrong: Every single Armstrong servants posted in these threads always such a joy to read, and this one is no exception. real great job with this one, and especially that NP is such a cool concept. Would love to see his interaction with my Yuri Gagarin though
    Appreciated and agreed. I will just ask which NP you are referencing?

    As for Yuri, I personally think they would get along famously, especially if it's true Neil and not the facade.

    As for the NP question... yeah I realised the mistake pretty quickly after posting, you just responded first.

    Quote Originally Posted by NINE-lives View Post
    You definitely need more dark skinned FC’s to be honest. It can’t be that hard to find a good dark skinned FC right?
    You'd be surprised, especially when it's something really specific. Once took me a few hours to find a good FC for something I was working with.
    Last edited by Legendary Hero of the Chain; July 11th, 2022 at 12:55 PM.

  5. #9265
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    Source: Mofumura on Tumblr

    Class: Saber
    Other Classes: Caster, Ruler, Lancer
    True Name: Pope Julius II
    Alignment: True Neutral
    Place of Origin: Italy (16th Century)

    Parameters:

    STR: B
    END: C
    AGI: D
    MGI: D
    LCK: D
    NP: A

    Height: 181cm
    Weight: 130lbs
    Likes: Battles, catholicisation
    Dislikes: Pacifism, manipulation
    Talent: Fighting while being a pope
    Natural Enemy: Pope Alexander VI
    Attribute: Man .
    Traits: Male, Humanoid, Weak to Enuma Elish
    Armament: Candens Mors
    Catalyst: A Swiss Guard Uniform

    Class Skills:

    Magic Resistance B+: As the pope, the Vicar of Christ, despite his relative modernity he gains this at a fairly high rank, allowing him to cancel spells with a chant below three verses, and counter most modern magecraft. In addition, this receives a rank-up against non-Judeo-Christian magecraft.

    Independent Action C: Although this is normally an Archer class skill, he has gained this even as a Saber as he was noted for his military campaigns and refusal to give up, allowing him to stay in the world for one day without a master.

    Riding B: He is able to handle most vehicles and animals with above average skill, although Phantasmal species cannot be ridden. He constantly rode into battle, so gains this rank of this class skill.

    Personal Skills:

    Eye for Art A: He commissioned several famous pieces of art, and as such gains this skill at a high rank. He has a high chance of recognising the True Name of a servant if he sees a Noble Phantasm with artistic anecdotes.

    Remove the Borgias A: The sublimation of his command to "wipe out the Borgias" and his motto of "crushing the barbarians". This manifests as a skill that when utilized is used to "erase" the memory of any being once it is deceased, making no one except Julius and people he selects able to remember its existence. This also fuels a constant aura around him that weakens anyone who he views as a "barbarian".

    Storm The Heavens A+: The sublimation of his will, strong enough to storm the Heavens themselves if denied his goals, famously written into a story written by Erasmus of Rotterdam. This causes him to repel negative effects as long as he keeps his goals in mind, and any effects trying to stop him from achieving his goals will be swiftly turned back onto the user.

    Noble Phantasm(s):

    Candens Mors
    The Warrior Pope


    Type: A
    Rank: Anti-Unit
    Range: 15 meters
    Max Targets: 1

    The sublimation of his emulation of Julius Caesar and reconquering of the Papal States. It manifests as a peculiar cross-shaped sword, which is extremely heavy and nigh-unliftable by anyone with a strength below C. However, as Julius has B ranked strength, he can swing it effortlessly. When its true name is invoked, he raises this, which grows even larger, before slamming forward, an attack that, despite being from a bladed weapon, is conceptually a crushing attack, reminiscent of how he crushed any resistance in his reconquering. In addition, leylines within the area crushed are conceptually conquered by him. Lastly, enemies hit by this are also covered with a dark blot wherever they are hit, slowly cutting off their mana supply as the world forgets to supply it. If they are fully covered, their existence becomes forgotten and their mana supply becomes fully removed.

    Millitis Fidei
    The Swiss Guards


    Type: B
    Rank: Anti-Army
    Range: 50 meters
    Max Targets: 200

    The sublimation of his establishment of the official Swiss Guard. This allows him to manifest a horde of familiars, each easily capable of destroying a human but frail compared to a servant. He can summon up to 200 of them. They manifest as wraith-like men dressed in a Swiss Guard uniform and carrying halberds and swords. However, he will often dislike utilizing this Noble Phantasm, for it will allow these members to get hurt, and they are his close allies from when he was a mere Bishop, of Lausan. Instead, what he will tend to do is merely manifest their weapons, combining a strike with his sword with them to form a devastating attack.

    Lore: Pope Julius II was one of the Popes of the Catholic Church. He was known as the Warrior pope for he took up a sword and went to war to reconquer the Papal States. He was also known for his dislike of the Borgias, to the point the moment he ascended the Papal See, his first act was to remove all things associated with the Borgias.

    Personality: A warlike man obsessed with good battles. He dislikes people who utilize manipulation to achieve their aims, but loves people who equally enjoy good battles. He doesn't have major regrets about his life, so his wish would merely be to have continued his conquest for more and more and more. Then, he believes, the Papal States would encompass everywhere.

    Relationships:

    Pope Alexander VI: "You. YOU. Out in the open without your cronies and allies, I see. I'm going to enjoy this."

    Pope Paul VI: "..You're a pope? You? How?"

    Jeanne D'Arc: "You're a warrior and yet you so refuse to battle? Why?"

    Saint Martha: "Don't worry, being warlike is perfectly fine. In fact, it's encouraged, and will merely increase your image as a holy woman."

    Amakuza Shiro: "You're a saint in my book, for your impressive spirit."

    Leonardo Da Vinci: "Your art is quite impressive, Da Vinci. I hope your fighting is just as good."

    Saint Georgios: "....Why have you softened so much?"

    Saint Catherine: "Saint Catherine. A pleasure to meet you. Shall we spar?"
    Last edited by jishara; July 11th, 2022 at 10:34 PM.

  6. #9266
    Your average edge/angst supplier BnEl15's Avatar
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    Oh right, the sheet. I kinda got a little too caught up in writing that villain monologue. The Skills are mostly fine, and him being the (arguably) good muscle-brained pope as opposed to the evil manipulative type or the chill super-religious type we've seen before is a breath of fresh air. It's just that both NPs are kinda... plain. If anything that Remove the Borgias Skill could make for a better NP with some tweaking. If you still want to justify him being in the Saber-Class, maybe tie it to his first NP as a sword that causes the world to gradually forget the target it's struck with, or something like that. As it stands, "a giant sword that crushes things and conquers the leylines" is a fine basis, but I feel like you can do a little more with it. The second NP also feels a little too much like your average army-summon NP that doesn't represent him too well. Comparing it to Iskandar, Ionioi Hetairoi represents the bonds he forged with members of his army, while this one... doesn't really say much about him as a character. If you want to write an NP based on his establishment of the Swiss Guard, maybe look into the codes/laws he established for them, or his own personal feelings towards them. That might give you some new ideas.
    Last edited by BnEl15; July 11th, 2022 at 10:44 PM.

  7. #9267
    夜属 Nightkin TQG Imaginatorious's Avatar
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    Caster of the Great City




    True Name: Jayavarman VII

    Aliases: Earthly Avatar of the Bodhisattva of Compassion, The King of Amelioration, The Great Constructor, Lord of the Great City

    Alignment: Lawful Good

    Gender: Male

    Region: Cambodia

    Height: 166 cm

    Weight: 66 kg

    Other Qualifiable Classes: Rider

    Wish for the Grail: None.

    Likes: His people, mediation, architecture

    Dislikes: The suffering of others, violence even when it is necessary

    Talents: Ruling, mediating, construction

    Armaments: A royal staff, a short sword

    Parameters:

    Strength: D

    Endurance: E

    Agility: D

    Mana: B

    Luck: A

    NP: A


    Class Skill(s)
    Item Construction: C

    It is one of the Skills of the Caster class that allows the manufacture of magical items, from implements of war to items for daily use. Also, this Skill requires time to gather components and manufacture items.

    For Jayavarman VII, he can only create magical items that are average in quality that is related to Buddhism, specifically of the Mahāyāna branch and/or are of Khmer origins. He always had a greater focus on constructing buildings than items in life that never got remedied due to his status.



    Territory Creation: A+++

    It is the Skill to build a special terrain that is advantageous to oneself as a magus, such as to collect mana.

    Jayavarman VII with enough time and magical energy can create a "City" that is superior to a "Temple". However, even when not including his Noble Phantasm, Jayavarman VII can normally create a "Temple" that can improve his Buddhism related Skills and reduce the cost of his manifestation, a "Hospital" that automatically heals the injuries and cure the illnesses or poisons of those inside or a "Rest House" that can act as a safe house in the war where one can, well, rest in. The primary reason for Jayavarman VII's high Rank is due to his massive building program during his reign to alleviate his people's suffering.

    Normally, it should be EX Rank but due to many of his ordered constructions having signs of being rushed due to lack of time, the Rank is "only" that of A+++ Rank.


    Personal Skill(s)
    Incarnation of Avalokiteśvara: A-
    A Skill deprived of Jayavarman VII identifying himself as Avalokiteśvara the bodhisattva of compassion during his reign due to sharing the same wish of spreading peace across the world and ending suffering. This Skill grants him a significant increase in his Endurance Rank and Divinity of the same Rank. It also gives him the ability to sense anyone in "suffering" in a 100-meter radius and the ability to sprout up to 10 Phantom Hands that can assist him in and out of combat from a major legend of the Bodhisattva. Each of these hands has the equivalent strength of a Servant with a C Ranked Strength and can stretch up to 5 meters long. However, this Skill has received a - due to the bloody battles Jayavarman has caused so he's unable to use it to its full theoretical ability and it also places a major restriction on him that prevents him from killing or maiming anyone in the first fight against them or else this Skill would be lost. He can kill or maim them in the second fight and onwards.


    Blessing of Bhaiṣajyaguru: C+
    A Skill originated from the 102 hospitals Jayavarman VII built and placed under the Buddha of healing's protection for his people. Each hospital supposedly was filled with medications and manned by doctors armed with the most advanced medical knowledge of the time. For this, Bhaiṣajyaguru has deemed this to be a fit reward for the king. By touching the patient, Jayavarman can emit a lapis-blue light that can heal and cure most injuries and illnesses-mundane or otherwise-with ease. This Skill also has an interesting interaction with the Hospital workshops he can create as while he's inside one, the Skill will receive a + and in return, the Skill will also enhance the automatic healing aura the Hospitals possess. However, this Skill cannot be used for selfish reasons meaning it can't be used to heal Jayavarman himself.


    The Boundless Compassion of the Devaraja: A
    The sublimation of two things from Jayavarman VII's life: his ability to absorb suffering and his popularity with the common people. There is one famous inscription regarding him: "He suffered from the illnesses of his subjects more than from his own; the pain that affected men's bodies was for him a spiritual pain, and thus more piercing." This inscription is actually true which has caused him no small amount of problems but not because he has something similar to mirror-touch synesthesia, rather he passively absorbs the suffering of others from a ritual he had his mages cast on him to share the pain of his subjects and to prove that his welfare state was not just an act to boost his image. Naturally, this and his building programs made him greatly loved by the common people, helped by the fact that Jayavarman VII is naturally charismatic.

    In essence, the skill is a composite Skill that includes Charisma at B Rank that will be at its most effective when Jayavarman is talking with someone that is classified as the "common people". Primarily though, the Skill passively sucks up portions of the suffering a person is going through in a 25-meter radius area regardless if the suffering is physical, mental, or spiritual based. These absorbed suffering would weaken Javavarman especially if it accumulates which makes it a pain in combat as the ability also absorbs from his enemies. Despite this, Jayavarman VII never regretted having this ability in life and will not start regretting it in this life. Fortunately, the suffering does not last forever and will dissipate over time proportional to how much he has absorbed.


    High-Speed Sutra Chanting: C
    The ability to speak magical incantations at an accelerated speed regarding sutras.

    He never was the best at speaking sutras at high speeds like his wives. He tends to get his tongue bitten easily.


    Noble Phantasm(s)
    Sacred Great City Dedicated to the Enlightened Ones
    Nokor Thom


    Rank: A+
    Type: Fortress
    Range: 1-100
    Maximum Number of Targets: 1000 people
    The last and most enduring capital city of the Khmer Empire was founded in the late 12th century BCE by Jayavarman VII to be the center of his building project, regarded by the king to be his pride and joy. A square-shaped city divided into 4 that has an area of 9 km˛ with many temples inside, the most prominent is the Bayon in the direct center, for the spiritual health of the Khmer people. Its' sacking by the Ayutthaya kingdom was what lead to the start of Cambodia's dark age and the end of the Khmer Empire.

    Now recreated as a Noble Phantasm, the Great City is not any less impressive, despite its smaller size, with high spanning towers and walls, temples, and shrines of breathtaking beauty. The city's grounds are considered by the World to be part of Cambodia, giving Jayavarman VII a boost to his Parameters and the Ranks of his Skills, and sealing his Weak Constitution. Of course, other Servants from Cambodia would receive a boost too, just lesser than the one Jayavarman gets. The city also manifests various Phantasmal Species of Cambodian and Buddhist origins to assist him and due to its blessed nature, it's fatal for evil spirits to enter it. And all this pales in comparison to the effects the Bayon temple has to offer. Each of the 216 famous smiling faces the temple is known for can become 10-meter-tall golems of great strength that can rebuild itself from even obliteration thanks to their blessings. The temple can also allow Jayavarman to borrow power, not from Avalokiteśvara this time, but from the
    Shakyamuni
    Buddha
    himself. This borrowed power can be used for more than just attacking, it could also be used for defences or further enhancement of himself for example.

    However, the usage of the enlightened one's power by someone who had to abandon the path of enlightenment for his people would damage Jayavarman's Saint Graph each time used so it cannot be used often. Additionally, to call forth the City would require a ritual of 108 hours (4.5 days) of length cast on top of a leyline. And, as powerful as the Phantasmal Species and golems are, they can't go into each other's territory-the Phantasmal Species can't go into near the Bayon, and the smiling face golems can't go anywhere else in the city. of course, one can also just bypass the various guards by staying outside of it and trying to destroy it with a powerful attack, but the city is incredibly durable thanks to the blessings from the various Buddhas and Bodhisattvas.

    Fun fact: the reason why it's Nokor Thom instead of Angkor is that it's the more correct version according to the king who insisted to use that word when manifested.


    Lore & Background
    Jayavarman VII or Mahaparamasaugata was often regarded as the greatest king of not just the Khmer Empire but all of Cambodia's history for his military successes and care for his people. Born in 1122 to King Dharanindravarman II and queen Sri Jayarajacudamani, he quickly found a love and talent for architecture, often creating small buildings out of clay and mud despite it being unfitting for a prince. It was also during his childhood that he went outside Angkor for the first time and witnessed the suffering of the common people. The pain and despair on those people's faces would forever be etched into his mind and would be why he was so passionate about ending suffering for all. Later on, he would marry his first wife, Jayarajadevi, who along with her sister is a devout Buddhist and would be the one who exposed him to the teachings of Mahayana Buddhism whose beliefs align perfectly with his desire to end the suffering of others.

    His rise to prominence would be caused by the invasion of the Khmer Empire by its ancient enemy, the Cham in 1177. A year after, he created and led an army to repel the invaders in less than 5 years. This would be a moment that he will always be proud of for saving his nation and the one he'll always feel shame about as he'll never ascend into Nirvana for all the bloodshed he has caused. He doesn't regret it as if he hadn't done it, the Khmer people would have been under the rule of the Chams for longer but it will forever be a what-if for him. With this feat, Jayavarman VII would ascend to the throne of the Khmer Empire in 1181 at the age of 61.

    From there begin a 37-year-long reign that cemented Jayavarman VII's position as Cambodia's greatest king. He conquered Champa as revenge for their invasions in 1190 alongside southern Laos, portions of the Malay Peninsula and Burma, expanding the empire's territory to its greatest size in history. He begin an expansive building program that lead to the construction of 102 hospitals, 121 rest houses, new roads to connect the empire, rebuilt Angkor Wat, reservoirs, and countless temples dedicated to mostly the Buddhas. Most notable and the ones that he is the proudest of would undoubtedly be his capital, Angkor Thom, and the Bayon temple. Not one of these was built for any other reason than the alleviation of his people's suffering, even having his court mages cast a ritual that would allow him to lessen the suffering of those around him by absorbing it to prove it his sincerity in his wish. Wellllll, maybe the program was also due to his great love for the construction of buildings... The only shame he had at the time was how he had to rush through many of the constructions due to time constraints and thinking that he doesn't have long to live. Finally, his reign and life would end at the age of 95, an unthinkably long lifespan for someone in the 13th century, from leprosy. Little did he know, his construction program would have an unforeseen side effect on the Khmer Empire.

    Jayavarman VII as a Caster, compared to his Rider self who's the "Hero and Expander of the Khmer Empire", represents the side of him that is the "Ender of Suffering through Construction".


    Personalty
    Jayavarman VII's personality can be described as very Buddhist-y at first glance. He follows every doctrine of the Mahayana branch and practices the six
    Pāramitā
    transcendent virtues
    and strives for the path of Bodhisattva through Bodhicitta. Often you can find him meditating for hours throughout the day. He also cares for every life he meets, behaving like a kindly, wise old man. Due to his religion and end wish, he's greatly pacifistic, preferring to use diplomacy first with others even if they are his enemies. This is why he would generally reject a call to fight in a Holy Grail War. However, this doesn't mean that he would never use violence as should he be pushed too much, he'll show you how he repelled the Cham invasion and conquered them and the surrounding lands if reluctantly. And, he loves construction to the point that the one part of kingship that he dislikes is that he can't personally build anything and can only order people to construct.

    Seriously, do not give him a chance to start talking about construction unless you have the next 5 hours free and feel you need to learn about construction that day as those who lived with him would know. From how he fell in love with construction, the techniques and skills needed to learn to construct a building, and to how many different architectural styles there are, he will talk about them all. And, one of the first things he will do after manifesting is learning all the advances to construction since his death.

    However, Jayavarman is plagued by many things in his mind. Aside from the aforementioned shame from the loss of the chance to achieve Nirvana, he also feels horror towards learning how his building program's demand for resources is one of the causes of the decline and demise of the Khmer Empire after becoming a Heroic Spirit. To think that his program to end the suffering of his people would cause untold suffering to them in the long term. Due to this and the wars he has waged, he feels self-conscious compared to other Buddhists who he thinks walked the path of Bodhisattvahood or Buddhahood better than he did. Despite all of this though, he doesn't feel regret for his decisions. Horrified and ashamed, yes, but not regretful as it'll be an insult to his family, people, and himself.


    Relationships:
    To his Master:
    He'll treat his Master as one of his subjects, guiding and assisting them in their life. He would even use Weak Constitution's effects to help them should they ever be in need of it. In return, all he asks for them is that they live a virtuous life. If you have to find one problem then it'll have to be that he often drags his Master to his mediations and when he's constructing to even if they do not want to.

    To the Buddha:
    "I-Impossible! Do my senses deceive me? Is he really the Enlightened One? I-I am not worthy of this honour of meeting you."
    Jayavarman VII tries to avoid him due to feeling that he's unworthy of it. Yet, to say that he isn't excited and overjoyed at the thought of it would be a lie.

    To other Buddhist Servants:
    "Ah, fellow seekers of Nirvana. Let us bring salvation to the Human Order together."
    One can often find the king together with the other Buddhist Servants in Chaldea. Though, each time he has a bad habit of comparing himself with them. Hopefully, someone can knock this habit out of him.

    To Kiara Sessyoin:
    "Such lust... You're no Bodhisattva, you're just a demon! I despise violence but unfortunately, it seems it'll be needed to prevent you from spreading your twisted desires! To Naraka with you and may your next life be a better one."
    The Heaven's Hole is one being that Jayavarman would never get along with no matter what with her blatant indulgence in kāma-taṇhā. Her being a Buddhist too doesn't help her situation.

    To Bevenloent Rulers:
    "I am glad that others across the world have also attempted the end of suffering. Isn't the smiles on the faces of your people just the best sight for a ruler?"
    He frequently has friendly talks with the other monarchs discussing and comparing their way of rule. It is rumoured that a club is soon to be formed for good rulers in Chaldea.

    To Artoria Pendragon (Saber):
    "I understand the wish you had. While I was not alive when the fall of the Khmer Empire occurred but my decisions are still one of the causes for it. I, too, thought about changing the past. But I know that that will be an insult to all of the Empire at the time so I am glad that you have changed your mind, o King of Knights."
    The two kings have a friendship based on their wish or potential wish in Jayavarman VII's case. He is glad to see her move past Caemlot's fall and was impressed by her Master who managed to help her move past it. Although, he wishes that she would be less of a glutton.

    To Ozymandias:
    "You say that one of your titles is the King of Construction? Hmm, I see... Well I don't suppose you will have problems with having a match, do you?"
    That day, Chaldea suddenly detected several dozen new buildings within their simulations. It is said that their match still continues to this day.

    To Tyrants:
    "Why?! How could you cause such pain to your people? What sick pleasure do you get off of it? It is one thing if you were not intentional, it's another thing if your tyranny was deliberate."
    While his hatred for tyrants is not as strong as the one he has for a certain nun, do not expect anything less than a furious debate if you put him in the same room with someone he deems a tyrant. Outside of Chaldea, a fight would surely occur within the first couple of meetings between them.

    To Angra Mainyu:
    "... Why? By creating a scapegoat for evil, they would be good? Where did they get this twisted, disgusting logic from?"
    Shocked and appalled at the Avenger's history, the king feels great sympathy for the supposed All The World's Evil. In his eyes, he doesn't see a vile villain, he sees a poor victim.



    Author's Note
    Real life sucks!!! Ugh, finally this is out.
    As usual, please leave your comments below. What you like about it and what you feel should be improved (betting on the relationship part). Also, to all the recent servants: Holy shit people, keep up the good work as usual. This is especially true for the lancer Armstrong and Ganymede. Oh yeah, there might be something coming for my 100th post. Maybe, not sure yet.
    Last edited by TQG Imaginatorious; August 2nd, 2022 at 07:51 PM. Reason: Improving it (hopefully)

  8. #9268
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    Tin-Hanan: Very impressive servant as always Kamera! I love the Sefar touch.

    Caster of the Temple City: Intriguing idea. I love the Bodhissatva of Compassion skill!

    BnEl: Thanks for your feedback. I have edited him. Also, I love your evil monologue!
    Last edited by jishara; July 12th, 2022 at 08:22 AM.

  9. #9269
    夜属 Nightkin Legendary Hero of the Chain's Avatar
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    Pope Julius II: To echo a point already stated, and to paraphrase one of my favorite servants, 'Irregular Pope personality is Good Civilization.' Honestly, I think you did a great job with the warrior pope, and while I think the original NP's were great, the updates you did from feedback just raise them to a new level. Overall, I say a really great job.

    Jayavarman VII: A really great job TQG. From the skills with some pretty awesome unique flavor, to the personality that is quite a bit of fun with the construction bit, things look great. And I don't really know where you are coming from with the relationships, as they all read fairly well. The only question I really have is what is his wish as a servant? I may have missed it while reading, but even a word search didn't help find it. May just be blind though.

    Also, thanks about Lancer Armstrong. Tried my best with that and feels nice to be pointed out despite the huge number of other great sheets. Said Tolkien fell low, but motivation is motivation! And can't wait to see what you do if ya decide to do something for your 100th.

  10. #9270
    夜属 Nightkin TQG Imaginatorious's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jishara View Post
    Caster of the Temple City: Intriguing idea. I love the Bodhissatva of Compassion skill!
    Thank you! Glad you like the skill.

    Quote Originally Posted by Legendary Hero of the Chain View Post
    Jayavarman VII: A really great job TQG. From the skills with some pretty awesome unique flavor, to the personality that is quite a bit of fun with the construction bit, things look great. And I don't really know where you are coming from with the relationships, as they all read fairly well. The only question I really have is what is his wish as a servant? I may have missed it while reading, but even a word search didn't help find it. May just be blind though.

    Also, thanks about Lancer Armstrong. Tried my best with that and feels nice to be pointed out despite the huge number of other great sheets. Said Tolkien fell low, but motivation is motivation! And can't wait to see what you do if ya decide to do something for your 100th.
    And thank you too! His wish was that he had no wish. As I mentioned in his dialogue with Artoria, he's supposed to have a similar wish involving changing the past due to his actions but ultimately decided not to which is how it was while I was writing it. It went from no wishes to change the past and then back to no wishes again. And what do you mean Tolkien fell short? It was an excellent take on him in the nausverse. But on the 100th post, well... I currently planning on having it be like the anniversary posts of a certain formatting senpai here if it happens.

  11. #9271
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    Quote Originally Posted by Legendary Hero of the Chain View Post
    Pope Julius II: To echo a point already stated, and to paraphrase one of my favorite servants, 'Irregular Pope personality is Good Civilization.' Honestly, I think you did a great job with the warrior pope, and while I think the original NP's were great, the updates you did from feedback just raise them to a new level. Overall, I say a really great job.
    Thank you so much! I'm glad you like him.

  12. #9272
    Please be very patient with me, for I know no better Cing Krimson Requiem's Avatar
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    Covid beat my ass bruh so no new Servant unfortunately

    It was almost as if it was he, not I, was the one who'd been saved...



    The Endless Calamity
    Hi-no-KagutsuchiShirou ███

    Class: Alter Ego
    Alternate Classes: None
    Alignment: True Neutral
    Source: Shinto Mythology
    Region: Japan
    Attribute: Heaven

    Parameters
    Strength: E
    Endurance: E
    Agility: E
    Mana: EX
    Luck: E

    Background
    There is little to the tale of Hi-no-Kagutsuchi.
    He was the final god born from the union of Izanami and Izanagi, the creator gods of traditional Japanese mythology. He was a god made of pure fire, consuming everything and burning everyone from the moment he was born. His flames even devoured his mother as she gave birth to him, meaning that he had slain a creator goddess at the ripe old age of one minute.
    Enraged at the death of his wife, Izanagi took a great divine blade and cut Kagutsuchi into eight pieces, killing the newborn god before it could even open its eyes.

    Thus ended the tale of Kagutsuchi. A flame god of immeasurable power, but one that barely survived outside of his mother’s womb.
    But no matter how short its life was, it still lived. It still breathed a breath of life-giving air, even if only once. It was enough to light a spark of primordial flame within the young god's soul- the primal desire to survive at all costs.
    Beyond the reaches of time and space did Kagutsuchi search in blind desperation, even if, as a baby, it had no idea what it was even looking for. But at last, a host revealed itself to him, and Kagutsuchi made its gambit. An empty husk of a boy, aimlessly wandering through an inferno that used to be his home. A boy who asked himself why he had even survived.
    Kagutsuchi would provide the answer.

    DO YOU WANT TO LIVE.
    "..."
    I WANT TO LIVE.
    "I...?"
    I WANT TO LIVE. DO YOU WANT TO LIVE.
    "Do you want... me to live?"
    I WANT TO LIVE. DO YOU WANT TO LIVE. I WANT TO LIVE. I WANT YOU TO LIVE. DO YOU WANT TO LIVE. I WANT YOU TO LIVE. I WANT TO LIVE.
    "...Okay."
    DO YOU WANT TO LIVE.
    "I want you to live."
    I WANT TO LIVE.
    "I want to live."

    If the boy felt hollow for having survived when others could not, and Kagutsuchi felt incomplete for never being given the chance to live, then the two would complete each other. This boy, “Shirou”, would continue to live for Kagutsuchi’s sake, and Kagutsuchi would fill his void with purpose. From the embers of death and destruction would the flame of new life be born, a lone child made of fire.


    Skills
    Class Skills
    Divine Core of the Fire God: B
    Signifying one’s nature as a god of flames from birth. For all of one and a half minutes that Kagutsuchi was alive, he was fire incarnate.
    An expression of a god's authority, the skill bears the traits of Divinity while giving Kagutsuchi dominion over flames.
    As Kagutsuchi now dwells within a host, this skill is at B rank.

    At the Boundary: D-
    A skill belonging to those familiar with the ways of the valley of death.
    By being born, Kagutsuchi brought death into the world. A life that births the concept of death. Kagutsuchi cannot understand this skill and did not intend to bring about the existence of death itself, so this skill has severe penalties.
    At rank D-, Kagutsuchi resists instant-death effects and carries a very slim chance of killing anything he attacks, instantly.

    Personal Skills
    Mana Burst (Flame) ---> The Calamity that Moves: EX
    The absolute, ultimate final evolution of the Mana Burst (Flame) skill.
    It is the likeness of Kagutsuchi made manifest, an endlessly spewing conflagration of unfathomably hot flames that devours everything and anything. The inferno that explodes from his body can spread to swallow an entire city in an instant, and once activated, even Kagutsuchi will be unable to shut it off without the aid of a command seal.
    It is an all-out attack that is meant to assure absolute destruction.

    God-Slayer: C
    Although Kagutsuchi has not slaughtered the countless divine spirits that the Witch of Dun Scaith has, the one, single god he has killed was the creator goddess of Shinto mythology, his mother. After which, he was immediately killed.
    Because the killing of Izanami was the one, singular legend that is attributed to Hi-no-Kagutsuchi, he carries the God-Slayer skill at a low rank.
    All of his attacks now deal slightly more damage to divine beings.

    Powerless Shell: A
    A skill that lowers a Servant's parameters and skills to hide their nature as a Servant.
    As Kagutsuchi's parameters barring mana are already identical to that of his human host, there is little that needs suppressing. His nature as a Divine Servant is concealed until he activates his Calamity that Moves skill, after which the truth of his being is revealed.
    It's a skill that allows Kagutsuchi to fool himself into believing he is just a normal boy who can live a normal life.


    Noble Phantasms
    Heavenly Sword, Divine Lightning Pillar
    Takemikazuchi-no-Kami

    Rank: -
    Type: -

    Technically, this Noble Phantasm exists in Kagutsuchi’s saint graph. But much like Caledfwlch Caladbolg with child Fergus, it has not reached a point where it can be used as a Noble Phantasm.

    The sword itself is quite literally Kagutsuchi’s son via his death at the hands of Izanagi; the martial god Takemikazuchi, the god and embodiment of swords. As a god of lightning, he represents the pillar of light that connects earth and heaven, an impossibly powerful sword that can only be wielded by gods…
    But this is both Kagutsuchi before he had spawned Takemikazuchi as well as a host boy who had just lost everything he ever had. Both have been summoned from a point where the idea of “sword” means nothing to them.


    Unforgiving and Unjust Life, be Swallowed by All the World's Evils
    Yomi-no-Amatsumikaboshi

    Rank: A+
    Type: Anti-city



    "Burn, die, and fall to the deepest depths of hell. Yomi-no-Amatsumikaboshi."

    With the birth of Kagutsuchi came the birth of death. His mother, the first victim, succumbed to the flames and was cast into the dark underworld, where her mind would become darkened and twisted, hellbent on bringing destruction and death. While such a Noble Phantasm which embodies the birth of death itself could expand to the level of an Anti-World Noble Phantasm, a small change brought on by Kagutsuchi's host caused it to manifest as an Anti-city ability.

    From a dark hole in the sky does an evil black mud from the depths of Yomi pour forth, setting fire to everything it touches and damning the living to their final moments of suffering and agony before burning their lives away. Spiritual beings such as Servants are subjected to a similar pain, only their very nature will be twisted by the accursed mud until they become vile parodies of themselves, violent monsters who wish for nothing but the demise of everything around them.


    Lore
    Personality
    As Kagutsuchi was a newborn baby, he did not have any time to develop any true personality of his own. As such, the behavior of Servant Kagutsuchi is mostly that of the young man whose body he uses, with what little memories the god had gained as well as his instinctive wish for survival tacked on.

    The young man is a very withdrawn and quiet one, most likely still reeling from the trauma of the great disaster he survived that made him compatible with the fire god. He is helpful and polite, but he seems incredibly adverse to the idea of fighting or anything else that brings up memories of the inferno that destroyed his life. Like a certain storyteller, he very much does not enjoy being a Servant, as it brings with it the risk of having to live through yet another calamity. He's confused regarding the business of "Heroic Spirits" and the like, but he wants nothing to do with it.

    "...A hero? Why would I want to be a hero?"

    April Fools
    An Abducted-Child type Servant
    Rejoice young boy, for although you have lost your family and likely 30 years off your lifespan from smoke inhalation, the lord has seen fit to open three windows for the door that was closed on you. You can either
    1. Go with the weird drunk looking hobo man who claims to be a wizard
    2. Become a living juicebox for my twink foreigner roommate along with the rest of your kind
    3. Become a living bomb (No elaboration, take it or leave it)

    Likes
    That's not important.

    Dislikes
    Shady old men

    Natural Enemy
    Izanagi

    Dialogue

    Summoning
    "Are you... the one who summoned me? Why? Why would you do that?"

    Senji Muramasa
    "Can you leave me alone? I'm not just some forge for you to mess around with. HEEEELP! HEY, HELP! SOME SUSPICIOUS OLD MAN IS TRYING TO MESS WITH ME!"

    Sitonai, Illyasviel, Erice Utsumi
    "You must be mistaken. I don't remember having a sister."

    Ko-Gil
    "Oh, hello Gil! Do you want to play today?"

    Angra Mainyu
    "...No. No, no, no, no, no, you aren't real, you aren't real, you aren't real!"

    Kagutsuchi and Mizuhame
    "I-idiot, if that's how you feel, then don't go!"


    The Essence of our Bonds
    Last Memory of Mom and Dad


    I know... I know I'm not the same person as I was before.
    I'm a "Heroic Spirit" now, now I'm "Hi-no-Kagutsuchi".
    I have his memories. They're my memories now, because we're the same person.
    I have the memory of how my mother screamed as I burned her, and how my father roared as he cut me to pieces in rage.

    But I still remember dad carrying me out of bed and out of the house, holding me like I was the most precious thing in the world.
    And I still remember mom telling me how much she loved me, and to always keep living no matter what.
    Those things were the last I remember of my mom and dad.
    They burned and suffered, I know it. But they loved me no matter what.

    I know they did.

    Final notes
    This concept is actually one of the oldest ideas I've had since getting into Fate, even if this sheet itself was only ever put to paper (or screen) about a year ago. It needed some touching up, and I added a reference to the first sheet in this thread, but not too much has been changed since I'm still sick and feeling like a cat with how much undesirables I'm hacking up

  13. #9273
    夜魔 Nightmare Vance's Avatar
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    Hi-no-KagitShirou: Huh, I actually kinda like this sheet. The background and skills are pretty well put together. And the Bond Craft Essence is just lovely and tragic.

  14. #9274
    Local Extra Class Aficionado DelRey's Avatar
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    Caster: I think Charisma and your cool idea for Weak Constitution could be merged into one skill.

    Alter-Ego: I echo Vance here.
    Behold! The works of a maniac!
    Servants!

    And my other contribution to this community!
    Advanced Formatting Guide
    Free FC Gallery
    Extra Class Comp

    Call me Formatting-sensei.

  15. #9275
    夜属 Nightkin TQG Imaginatorious's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DelRey View Post
    Caster: I think Charisma and your cool idea for Weak Constitution could be merged into one skill.
    Really? Huh. What would you even call it? Also, sick avatar man.

  16. #9276
    Please be very patient with me, for I know no better Cing Krimson Requiem's Avatar
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    Something that invokes the imagery of a martyr, since people see him sucking up their illness and suffering like Kirby and going "yoooo, we live in a monarchy but that guy totally has my vote"

  17. #9277
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    Maybe you should go to the womb thread for this?

  18. #9278
    Local Extra Class Aficionado DelRey's Avatar
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    like Krimson said.
    And Pantalone from Genshin ftw. I do not play Genshin Impact, but he looks pretty cool and the bit of background i found on him interests me.
    Behold! The works of a maniac!
    Servants!

    And my other contribution to this community!
    Advanced Formatting Guide
    Free FC Gallery
    Extra Class Comp

    Call me Formatting-sensei.

  19. #9279
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    Oh sorry. I just misread what crimson was saying.

  20. #9280
    夜属 Nightkin TQG Imaginatorious's Avatar
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    I see... Well I'll see when I'll have time to write it. Thanks you two for the suggested improvement.

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