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Thread: Create-A-Servant 3

  1. #9341
    夜属 Nightkin Legendary Hero of the Chain's Avatar
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    Sîn-lēqi-unninni: Hmm, now that is a really nice way of going about him! Sin may not have a lot of history, but using his nature as a 'definitive chronicler' works really well, and relates to the NP you gave him fantasticallyNote to self, revise Stan Lee again to avoid similarities. Damn convergent evolution. I agree with Del though, he feels a bit more suitable as a Watcher with that whole theme. Regardless, great job!

    Leah & Zilpah: God, your definitely trying to give people diabetes with how sweet and sorrowful this sheet is. Overall, everything holds together superbly, with the personalities being expressed well through out, and the little convo snips giving so much more depth than anyone could ask for. I really can't say I dislike any part of the sheet, and even if I'm sad to see them a bit... unhappy with the twelve, it really does make sense. Very gay indeed, well done.

    Carrie Nation: Goddamn, how fast do you work? Or do you just have a ton of these great sheets in storage? On to the actual sheet, it's a pretty fun go at it. Everything is really consistent, and the bits like the ability to bypass barriers makes this woman terrifying in concept. The dual phantasms are both appropriate, and while the Tornado feels right, I can't not say I prefer the little bulldog. Why do I feel she and Bunyan would get on well?

    Ahura Mazda: A perfect counterpart to that pesky 0 starCome to my Chaldea already?!. It's fantastic how human you make the guy who is supposed to be 'all the worlds good', considering he could more than easily be a self righteous bastard like quite a few others, and makes him far more interesting. The self reflection NP fits well with that. The only question I'd have would be if the infinite revival may be a bit too powerful for a skill? And if strain on the Saint Graph can be caused by ridiculous numbers of lives, or if only trying to increase the pace causes it?

    Ennigaldi:
    Hello Fem!Gilgamesh. In all seriousness, a really nice way about dealing with histories first Museum and its caretaker. Very much deserving of her power with how you went about it. And thank you for that relationship snip with Gil, because I now have the mental image of her bugging him about it and having to be kept alive by other servants when she goes a bit too far. On the part of her being able to preserve other things she believes to be worth it, how far does that expand? And how forceful is she about it? British Museum level, or something a bit more sane?And now I have an idea for a sheet with the British Museum. Hmm, anthropomorphized, or monarch... decisions

    Fokker: Last, and certainly not least, we have this beautiful king of the sky! Really, I think you did stellar with him, and that isn't me just trying to stroke his ego. Everything just works with him, the NP giving a good reason for why a terrible flyer would produce so many plains, and the anti Sky mystery skill definitely giving him some massive air superiority. A definite threat if left alone for too long. Probably my favorite part has to be that personality though, and I think you succeeded in writing him according to that goal. Well done.

  2. #9342
    夜魔 Nightmare Vance's Avatar
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    "No matter the distance. We'll survive if we stick together. Just have faith."


    True Name: The Donner Party
    Class: Voyager
    Alt. Class: Berserker
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Source: Historical Fact
    Region: North America

    Parameters:
    Strength: E
    Endurance: C+
    Agility: D
    Mana: E
    Luck: B

    Class Skills:

    Independent Navigation E+
    The Voyager Class' variation of Independent Action. A Skill granted to those famed for travelling through distant lands, whether to reach a destination or simply savoring the scenery along the way. Donates the Servant a bonus to Endurance and constant supply of magical energy per turn so long as they continue on their journey. That being said, a heroic spirit whose entire journey was famous for going awry, with their only closures being in whatever company they have.

    "Ah, was it here or there? A moment please, I need to gather my bearings."

    Territory Creation C-
    Rather than creating a workshop, Voyager is able to make a workable campsite though the quality won't be top notch in term of living conditions.

    "We can rest here. Apologies if you're uncomfortable."

    Personal Skills:

    Voyager of the Snowstorm C
    A variant of Voyager of the Storm. Personalized for journeying through the pelting sleets of snow of a blizzard towards one's destination. Some of the Donner Party decided to risk the journey to find help, leaving others behind. It was grueling and some may have died but they succeeded.

    "Just a little further."

    Man-Eater C+
    A skill that denotes the act of imbibing on the flesh of man and receiving strength through it. Though one is not strictly limited to humans and can consume general humanoids to lesser effect. Food was running low and with no choice, those who were willing took upon the flesh of the dead and ate it. Voyager tries not to make use of this skill.

    "Ah, you're hungry, no? I am too."

    Innocent Monster D
    An attribute possessed by Servants whose true history and existence have been distorted by the monstrous reputations and gossips they accrued across the course of their life and thereafter, without concern for the actual person's will or appearance. The Donner Party remained one of the most well documented incidents that involved cannibalism. And such a part was the most sensationalized, giving rise to the Man-Eater skill.

    "I'm Always Hungry."

    Noble Phantasm

    "...and so very tired."
    Starved Camp: Misbegotten Snow Tread
    Type: Anti-Army
    Rank: C+

    The noble phantasm of Voyager. The area where the survivors stayed and rested. An area where their wills and humanity were tested. The Starved Camp is a malevolent bounded field that continually takes pieces away from one's mind, sloughing off one's mentality and morality to return it to its baser instincts. It is a place of resignation where one's will to continue is continually sapped from them even as their body continues to move. "I'm tired" is a common thought. As one decays away, they would never notice that the camp was never so empty, as a reality that hosts the worst parts of Voyager's Saint Graph under the ice and snow.

    "But this…is not a place one should rest for long in. Else they may be tempted to manifest."



    Personality

    Voyager has quite the average personality. Normal in pretty much all respects yet trauma pervades parts of themselves. They are soft spoken, as if afraid to waste their breath, prefer to always have food in hand to top up themselves in case of having to go a long distance on a moment's notice. Voyager seems to enjoy eating all kinds of food though this does to calm the inner howl of hunger that yearns for something else. It is easily ignored in most cases.


    Creator's Note: Alright. Time to cool down and make a simple sheet.

  3. #9343
    祖 Ancestor
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    Hi, thanks for your comments. I don't store a ton that are done already, but I work on a ton at once

    Carrie: I'm glad you liked her. Bunyan and her probably would get along well

    Ennigaldi: Thanks for the comments. This can expand anywhere from a particularly nice stone to some of the world's most famed treasures. She's definitely more sane, but will keep pestering you about it if you refuse to give the item for a while.

  4. #9344
    夜属 Nightkin TQG Imaginatorious's Avatar
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    jishara, what is the moonray walking mentioned under the high priestess of Nanna of your Ennigaldi?

  5. #9345
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    Quote Originally Posted by TQG Imaginatorious View Post
    jishara, what is the moonray walking mentioned under the high priestess of Nanna of your Ennigaldi?
    As a skill, it gives her a rank-up to agility under the light of the moon

  6. #9346
    Local Extra Class Aficionado DelRey's Avatar
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    Mother-Fokker: nice sheet. My personal nitpick is the use of arrows in skill ranks. Settle for a + or -, or specify in the description that it is limited to a specific area. See it like a rank in their specific branch of Item Construction, for example.
    But my major opinion is: you had such a great intro, and you made yourself the challenge
    why not make him a Saber under this concept and restructure the NP and add the line that he is the one that forged the blades of the battles in the sky. The propellers are his swords. Like Masamune, a caster-y Saber. This wouldve elevated (heh) it further

    Donner Party: My Sir Franklin approves. Neat idea to make this story a Servant. Your style of making short quotes shines here.
    You made my wholesome Voyager Class into something creepy and Foreigner-y. Damn you, I like it,
    Last edited by DelRey; July 21st, 2022 at 03:55 PM.
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  7. #9347
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    Source: Dhangieu on Deviantart

    Class: Caster
    Other Classes: N/A
    True Name: Amaridevi
    Alignment: Neutral Good
    Place of Origin: Cambodian Folklore

    Parameters:

    STR: D
    END: C
    AGI: C
    MGI: B
    LCK: D
    NP: C

    Height: 181cm
    Weight: 123lbs
    Likes: Engineering
    Dislikes: Manipulators
    Talent: Civil engineering
    Natural Enemy: Angra Mainyu
    Attribute: Man
    Traits: Female, Humanoid, Weak to Enuma Elish
    Armament: A shovel
    Catalyst: An ancient, worn, crown

    Class Skills:

    Territory Creation C: By virtue of careful digging she can create a Bounded Field, though it is inferior to a standard Workshop.

    Item Creation C: This skill manifests as the ability to "create jewels" by easily focusing the mana to create more and more beautiful jewelery.

    Personal Skills:

    Expert of Many Specialisations C: She was trained in many different fields incredibly effectively. This grants her an assortment of different skills all at rank C, including Eye for Art, Legal Knowledge, Scientific Method, Charisma, and more.

    Golden Rule B-: She was known as fairly incredibly wealthy, granting her this rank of this skill. She will never have any money troubles, as she constantly has a titanic amount of it. But this also has a negative, causing people who meet her to begin to germinate an obsession over the wealth.

    Master of Civil Engineering B: Her favorite skill she learned was civil engineering. Manifesting as a skill, this allows her to easily understand how to perform civil engineering feats that she can perform, although high-powered mysteries cannot be done by her. In addition, it allows her to call spirits to perform the feats for her.

    Noble Phantasm(s):

    Anteak Angkor
    Trap Of Sticky Rice

    Type: Anti-Army
    Rank: C
    Range: 5 meters
    Max Targets: 40

    Her famous feat of civil engineering, manifesting into a Noble Phantasm. A trap which takes a short time to set up, it appears just like the surrounding ground. Around it are four pieces of beautiful golden jewelery, which exert a fascination effect. But if they are touched by anyone, whomever touches it gets trapped inside the trap, which is extremely hard to get out of as a result of its stickiness, and get denounced, losing power, wealth, and fame.

    Lore: Amaridevi was a Cambodian princess, trained in philosophy, art, music, law, governance, and many other things, though her favorite was civil engineering. She was also incredibly wealthy, so some unscrupulous ministers, wanting her money, decided to frame her fiancee of being a traitor, causing the king to exile him. They waited two weeks, then tried to court her. So she vowed revenge. She decided to build a pit trap, fill it with a mixture of sticky rice and mud that traps them, surround it with jewels, make it soundproof... and she did it all in one day. She invited the ministers there, and one by one they pocketed a jewel and got caught in the trap. She then presented the king with the evidence, and he allowed her fiancee back.

    Personality: A responsible and calm person. She deeply cares about everyone around her, and makes it a point to do whatever she can to help. She deeply dislikes greedy people, and people who would make false accusations. Her wish for the Grail is that she can help everyone do whatever they need.

    Relationships:

    Edmond Dantes: "The Count of Monte Cristo? Oh my. Would you like me to build you a palace of some kind?"

    Jeanne Alter: "A fragile existence, only created to take revenge. How awful that must be. Here, would you like anything?"

    Angra Mainyu: "You most certainly are not evil. No, don't give me that, you aren't."

    Hessian Lobo: "Oh, would you like me to make you something? A den for you to sleep, maybe?"

    Gorgon: "...Your sisters still care about you. They are right there, just waiting for you to be ready to talk to them.... Keep that in mind."

    Ishtar: "Ooh, I love your jewels. Would you like to trade?"

    Astraea: "Using the stars? Interesting."

    Xiang Yu: "Please don't reshape the world on a whim."
    Last edited by jishara; July 22nd, 2022 at 11:52 PM.

  8. #9348
    夜属 Nightkin TQG Imaginatorious's Avatar
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    Another Cambodian servant who loves construction related things, huh. Aside from that though, she doesn't really seem all that avenger-y to me, seems better as a caster.

  9. #9349
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    Quote Originally Posted by TQG Imaginatorious View Post
    Another Cambodian servant who loves construction related things, huh. Aside from that though, she doesn't really seem all that avenger-y to me, seems better as a caster.
    Thanks for your feedback. I've switched her to a caster, I think you're right that the justification for being Avenger is a bit odd.

  10. #9350
    Local Extra Class Aficionado DelRey's Avatar
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    out of interest I counted how many servants jishara already made. In only a few weeks, he should reach the magic 100 servants.
    Then I wondered if he got close to our venerated Royd and his massive amount of Servants.
    I underestimated him.
    while jishara scratches the 100, Royd reaches for the 400.
    incredible.
    Behold! The works of a maniac!
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  11. #9351
    Your average edge/angst supplier BnEl15's Avatar
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    Dang, already? I expect great things for your 100th sheet, Jishara. A minimum of 50k word essay and at least 4 layers of collapse tags.

  12. #9352
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    Quote Originally Posted by BnEl15 View Post
    Dang, already? I expect great things for your 100th sheet, Jishara. A minimum of 50k word essay and at least 4 layers of collapse tags.
    Thanks BnEl I'm excited for it too I hope I can pull something incredible off, I loved your 100-sheet special.

  13. #9353
    夜属 Nightkin Vididii's Avatar
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    Only 3 left of my Fighting Game servants after this

    Berserker of the Obscene Craving

    Identity:
    Hamilton Howard "Albert" Fish
    Alternative Names: the Gray Man, the Werewolf of Wysteria, the Brooklyn Vampire, the Moon Maniac, The Boogey Man

    Class:Berserker

    Alignment: Chaotic evil

    Armament(s): Implements of hell in his first stage, his body afterwards

    Summoning Catalyst: A butcher's knife with human blood on it

    History:
    Hamilton Howard "Albert" Fish (May 19, 1870 – January 16, 1936) was an American serial killer, rapist, child molester, and cannibal who committed a minimum of three child murders from July 1924 to June 1928. He was also known as the Gray Man, the Werewolf of Wysteria, the Brooklyn Vampire, the Moon Maniac, and The Boogey Man. Fish once boasted that he "had children in every state", and at one time stated his number of victims was about 100. However, it is not known whether he was referring to rapes or cannibalization, nor is it known if the statement was truthful.

    Fish was a suspect in at least five murders during his lifetime. He confessed to three murders that police were able to trace to a known homicide, and he confessed to stabbing at least two other people. Fish was apprehended on December 13, 1934, and put on trial for the kidnapping and murder of Grace Budd. He was convicted and executed by electric chair on January 16, 1936, at the age of 65.

    Personality:
    Fish exists in two extremes- fervent obsession, or an almost hazy silence. Most likely his madness enhancement skill at play, his obsession with murder, torture, mutilation, cannibalism, and various other atrocities, something he took pleasure in discussing and threatening within his lifetime. When asked about topics along the lines of these, he will eagerly and happily discuss all his knowledge, giving advice in proceeding with them whether the asker wants to know or not. Otherwise, he is entirely silent, unless he feels someone is a "kindred spirit", somewhat opening the notion of small talk. However, if that was the case, it would likely not happen, as they would likely be too obsessed with the former topics to engage in it.

    At stage 2, the elated excitement becomes a mumbling, rambling obsession, barely coherent, silent no longer, coming from the upper mouth.

    At stage 3, regardless of form, speech is lost, only guttural noises remain.

    Height: Variable, starting at 168 cm. 2nd stage is roughly double this
    Weight: Variable, starting at 143 lbs 2nd stage is roughly triple this
    Appearance: Fish also possesses a third degree of mutation, though this mutation is dictated by whom/what he has consumed, as well as the environment he is summoned in. In order to progress to his second stage, he must consume the flesh equating to roughly 5 children or adolescents, a servant's counting as twice as potent. To ascend to his third, he must intake three times the initial amount.


    Servant Parameters:
    Str: D -> C -> ?
    End: C+ -> B+ -> ?
    Agi: D -> C+ -> ?
    Mana: D -> C+ -> ?
    Luck: D -> C -> ?

    Class Skills:
    Madness Enhancement B-: The Class Skill that characterizes a Berserker, raising basic parameters and strengthens one's physical abilities in exchange of hindering mental capacities and/or in exchange for their sense of reason. Fish possesses a negative modifier to this skill, on account of being declared "legally sane" in court, so he could receive the death penalty.

    Personal Skills:
    Self-Modification (Mutation) B: The aptitude to remold one's own body or merge one's own flesh with body parts of others. The higher the ranking in this Skill, the further away one is from being a proper hero. This skill is born of fish's extensive history of mutilation inflicted upon himself and others, as well as the natural negative responses the human body has against consuming human flesh. For this reason, Fish cannot actively choose to use this skill, and it will naturally occur upon consuming excess flesh.

    Shapeshift D ->E: A Skill that refers to both borrowing bodies and appearance change, one of the abilities of the vampire. Fish gains a low rank of this skill due to his usage of false identities in life to secure targets, as well as his given monikers. This skill will lose a rank starting at Stage 2, allowing him to just barely be brushed off as human in the minds of those see him fleetingly. It is lost entirely if he progresses to Stage 3

    Bloodsucking (Cannibalism) B: The act of absorbing another's blood to replenish their own health and physical and/or magical strength. It is one of the powers of a vampire. As the Rank raises, the power of absorption increases. Albert receives this skill both due to his habits in life, as well as his monikers- his variation also allows the same effect via the consumption of flesh, not just blood.

    Mana Burst (Blood) D: The increase in performance caused by infusing one's weapons and body with Magical Energy and instantly expelling it. Simply put, recreating the effect of a jet burst by expending large amounts of Magical Energy. Fish's particular version manifests EXCLUSIVELY from his body when struck (though can be utilized purposefully at the Higher end of Stage 2, and Stage 3), as he will gush amounts of magically-charged blood that would not normally be possible from a being his size. It should be noted that the best way to deal with cleanup, if in an area where it cannot be soaked into the earth and dissipate, is with fire, as it will burn easily, but slowly. Additionally, it seems to conduct electricity extremely well, making him vulnerable to it.

    (Pulled from Bugs' sheet of assassin Fish- all credit goes to him. D'Med him for permission, but he hasn't responded, fully willing to take it out if need be.)
    Sadomasochistic Constitution C+:
    A skill comprising both Sadistic Constitution as well as Masochistic Constitution. Berserker is neither the singular giver nor the receiver of pain, having reached a state in his paraphily that can be called an equilibrium. In addition to the general effects of the composited skills, Sadomasochistic Constitution allows Berserker to forcibly activate the skill by setting his own body as the target.

    Berserker’s complex relationship with pain and pleasure began as a boy, when he realized he enjoyed being whipped by the nuns at the orphanage in which he grew up. The pleasure he felt at the pain was given a religious sanction by God in his warped mind, justifying his unending cruelty to others and himself. Young boys were tortured mercilessly at his hands, but Berserker also invited young boys to torture him in turn; beating his rear raw with a studded paddle. Berserker also infamously inserted over two dozen steel needles into his lower body to ensure he was constantly aroused and in pain.

    Noble Phantasm(s):
    Implements of Hell D: A Noble phantasm only available in his first form, they are a set of tools consisting of a meat cleaver, a butcher knife, and a small handsaw, which he utilizes in preparation and acquisition of his victims. While they are notably dulled and rusted, they seem to be enchanted with the ability to cut through flesh like butter

    The Spread of Degeneracy B: A passive noble phantasm, contained as a magical pathogen within his blood. While it has no effect on servants, if consumed by humans, they will begin to exhibit the same cravings and feelings he does, cannibalism and insanity included. Upon beginning to partake in the consumption of flesh, after about a child's worth, they will begin to mutate into forms reminiscent of his second stage, culminating in the strength of a servant with E rank parameters, and the singular skill of Madness Enhancement, ranked D. Upon the death and demanifestation of Fish, the blood and its effects will also do so, mutations included. The mutated individuals cannot spread the NP from their own blood, it should be noted.

    A noble phantasm born from his given status as a vampire and lycanthrope, with their stories oft being ones of disease and otherness, and the overwhelming desire to see him vanquished, despite logical cause in madness and technical innocence. The thought that the evil he wrought upon the innocents would continue to persist in the land of the living? The idea that it would continue living, even SPREAD? It was too much for the humans who sentenced a monster to death.
    And thus, this Noble phantasm is a crystallization of the fear in possibility that it did continue, and did spread.


    Design Notes:
    - Once again, one of my Fighting Game servants. He serves as the midboss in story mode, and his gameplay archetype is of a heavy, albeit with gimmick elements of setplay and stance.
    - His moveset is the one that's the least realized in my mind other than Foreigner, but he would likely be playable in his second stage, with the midboss proper being his unplayable third
    - This one is admittedly a bit of a mess, I might combine some skills, but I think they're also unique enough that they deserve separation. I'm conflicted, so any advice is appreciated
    - I imagine he's quite picky when it comes to the preparation of his food in his first form, as he stated in a letter to the parents of a child he stole and ate, that it took him about 9 days to do so in his entirety. He's much faster now, due to being a servant.
    - I initially had the idea that he'd be a gestalt servant along with skinwalkers or wendigos, but I want to save that concept for some future servants
    - The Stage 1 headshot actually comes from when I was first thinking of my FG servants, he, Mulan, Armstrong (And possibly Jalter, but I'm thinking of a rework to make her design more fun) being the only ones remaining unchanged- everyone else is pretty similar, but they're definitely not without noticeable differences.
    - The dangling part on his back in the stage 2 pic isn't a tail, but rather the skin from his legs hanging, as he has outgrown them.
    - With Fish, I just really wanted to make something malignant, that could serve as a monster and be something truly unnatural, without making a Beast class servant, since I think that takes away from the sudden, almost inexplicable manifestation of King Hassan to characters who don't know about Simo. Plus, I think it takes away from the horror of him by giving him the specific "evil" servant class. I'd rather people think along the lines of "How the hell did he manifest as a heroic spirit" as opposed to "oh he's a beast, that makes sense".
    Last edited by Vididii; July 23rd, 2022 at 11:18 AM. Reason: bazaka, 2nd NP explanation

  14. #9354
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Fish: Cool sheet, you definitely did a good job giving a grotesque vibe. Though you still refer to him as Assassin in the fifth Personal Skill. Might want to correct that.

  15. #9355
    夜属 Nightkin Vididii's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    Fish: Cool sheet, you definitely did a good job giving a grotesque vibe. Though you still refer to him as Assassin in the fifth Personal Skill. Might want to correct that.
    Knew I forgot something, thanks man

  16. #9356
    I probably enjoyed like 4 days so far in 2022. WhiteFrenzy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DelRey View Post
    while jishara scratches the 100, Royd reaches for the 400.
    incredible.
    Oh my god. Royd's truly our one and only.

    Also EYYY THANKS A LOT YOU GUYS FOR YOUR KIND COMMENTS YOU ALL ARE THE BEST ;v;

    © liliesfree

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  17. #9357
    Please be very patient with me, for I know no better Cing Krimson Requiem's Avatar
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    Alright, I think I might have something fresh now.

    When He broke the third seal, I heard the third living creature saying, "Come." I looked, and behold, a black horse; and he who sat on it had a pair of scales in his hand. And I heard something like a voice in the center of the four living creatures saying, "A quart of wheat for a denarius, and three quarts of barley for a denarius; but do not damage the oil and the wine."



    The Gnawing Hunger in the Heart of Man
    The Black Rider

    Aliases: The Third Horseman, the Horseman of Famine, the Sin of Greed
    Class: Rider
    Alternate Classes: None
    Alignment: Lawful Evil
    Source: The Book of Revelations, the Book of Ezekiel
    Region: Israel
    Attribute: Earth

    Parameters
    Strength: -
    Endurance: A+++
    Agility: C
    Mana: EX
    Luck: A

    Background
    A conceptual heroic spirit, identical in origin to the Pale Rider. As such, it technically isn't the same Horseman riding on a black horse's back described in the Book of Revelations, but rather an entity embodying the concept of famine that the Horseman in the book was described as.

    While an incredibly old Heroic Spirit, it is the youngest of the four Horsemen. While the others have existed since humanity understood the concepts of "domination", "conflict", and "death", this particular Black Rider does not embody the same primordial hunger that all living beings understand, but is inherently tied to the human concept of currency. Rather than represent famine as a lack of food, it is instead a representation of famine as the inability to acquire existing food. As such, while it is both incredibly old and incredibly young just as the other conceptual Horsemen are, it leans more towards being a modern Heroic Spirit- one that is getting stronger and stronger the later in history it is summoned in.


    Skills
    Class Skills
    Riding: EX
    As a conceptual being, it's mount is humanity itself. Thoughts, concepts, and the objects into which these things are imbued mark the territory in which Rider can travel. Wherever humankind goes, it shall ride along with them.

    Magic Resistance: C
    Nothing will keep Rider down forever, no matter what kind of magecraft it is. However, being summoned as a Servant means that Rider can at the very least, be temporarily affected by magic spells, so long as the mage knows where or how to cast them when facing Rider. Spells that are two verses or below can be canceled, but greater rituals and high-thaumaturgy should do the trick.

    Sin of Humanity: A
    A variation of the Anti-Human Order skill.
    Envy. Gluttony. Sloth. Greed.
    Rider embodies to some extent, over half of the seven deadly sins. However, the seven deadly sins were defeated by the savior long ago and no longer pose a truly existential threat to man the way the Evils of Humanity do. Although this means that the Four Horsemen do not qualify for the BEAST class, Rider in particular can still retain a variant of the Beast's ability to target aspects of mankind. Just like Authority of the Beast, it is a conceptual attack on these four sins within humanity.

    The White and Red Riders also retain this skill, but Pale Rider, whose alignment is True Neutral as opposed to the shades of evil the other three have, does not.

    Personal Skills
    Collective Consciousness: A
    While still beholden to the master that summoned it, by reaching out and grabbing hold of the collective culture of humans in the area, Rider can turn each and every human that abides by the rules of a money-based society into its anchor and mana source. These humans also serve to mark Rider's territory. While this would make Rider immensely powerful in an urban environment, it also heavily relies on this skill to sustain itself, even when contracted to a master. Summoning Rider or taking it out of such an environment would drastically reduce all its capabilities.

    Golden Rule: B ---> A ---> A+++ ---> EX
    This skill exists a varying ranks depending on the era in which Rider is summoned. But when summoned in the modern day?
    Money is not just gold and riches anymore.
    Money controls people.
    Money controls power.
    Money controls the world.
    Existing far beyond the collection of endless wealth and fortune that Golden Rule is at other ranks, at EX, Golden Rule lays claim to all that which has been assigned "value". While money may be passed around by humans to each other, all wealth eventually leads to Rider.

    One catch- like most of Rider's other abilities, if Collective Consciousness does not have enough humans ensnared, it is completely useless.

    Cruel Reality: EX
    The mirror skill to Pale Rider's Innocent World.
    In death, sometimes the most hopeful of children can have their final dream, and perhaps imagine a world where things were better.
    But the gnawing of hunger at their bellies, the barren threads they wear that fail to block out the biting cold- no hopeful dreamer can ignore that.
    That is the Cruel Reality of this world. A world where you can bite and claw and scream- but if life hands you the short straw, it'll change nothing. The weak stay weak. The rich get richer. Hunger gets worse and the dream is broken.
    While this can be considered an ultimate anti-dream ability, capable of shattering any sort of illusion, delusion, and even the effects of Innocent Monster- in the place of those broken dreams, a nightmare is left behind. Influencing the people and things around Rider, the world becomes a twisted parody of itself, becoming a world devoid of hope. A world of endless hunger and poverty, where only the select few can persist as normal.

    That is not the reality of this world.
    Life is cruel, yes. It is unfair, painful, harsh, and awful. But it can get better. There will always be hope for change. There has to be.

    You must shatter this nightmare at all costs and wake to a True Reality.


    Noble Phantasm
    A Quart of Wheat for a Denarius
    The Cost of Life

    Rank: A+
    Type: Anti-unit/Anti-population

    "All that is given can be taken away- and bought back once again. A Quart of Wheat for a Denarius."

    Do not damage the oil and the wine.

    Greed.

    That is the truth of the Black Rider. Food is to be had, but cannot be reached- not for those without a denarius to spare.

    Money is such a fluid thing. There must be a significant amount of people who agree to use it, and thus they can only use it with each other. They must find a way to balance its worth with other forms of money, and even then its worth still fluctuates. The worth of a loaf of bread can change, but what of the work to produce that bread? Will the worth of that work change?

    It was told in the Book of Revelations that the price of essentials rose, but the wealth of the people did not. So those with wealth continued to live as normal and indulge in the luxuries and excesses that did not change in worth, but those who could not spare the denarius were left without options. Famine did not arrive then, it was already there.

    The noble phantasm's ability is to change the worth of one's work. Anything, be it material goods, knowledge, skills, or boons can be revoked so long as it was "earned". Be it directly through work or indirectly through purchase. Even a Servant's noble phantasms can be taken away so long as they were earned in the Servant's legend. Anything revoked can be returned however, so long as the seeker earns it back by paying several times what they did to get the object of their desire to begin with. A toy purchased for ten dollars will be returned so long as twenty- no, thirty, or even a hundred dollars is paid. A medal earned by running a ten-kilometer marathon will be returned if a twenty, or perhaps fifty-kilometer marathon is run.

    A noble phantasm representing the divine reward for completing twelve impossible tasks can be taken away, and returned when thirty-six tasks are completed. The amount that the worth is multiplied by fluctuates unpredictably.

    To use one of the wealthiest men in history as an example- King Gilgamesh, would be like so. His greatest noble phantasm,
    The Sword of Rupture
    Ea
    , is his birthright, bestowed upon him for his nature as the wedge of heaven. It is considered something inherent to him rather than earned, and thus would not be affected by this noble phantasm. The same would apply to
    The Omniscient Omnipotent Star
    Sha Naqba Imuru
    , which is the crystallization of his natural mind, and
    The King's Treasure
    Gate of Babylon
    , which is his right as the King of Uruk.
    However, the contents of the Gate of Babylon, which are both the collective efforts and riches of humanity, as well as the divine treasures collected by Gilgamesh on his adventures, are all forfeit to The Cost of Life.

    The worth of your work shall never change, but the worth of your reward just might.


    Lore
    Personality
    Like the other conceptual horsemen, Black Rider lacks a true personality of its own. It latches onto its master and performs its own actions based on their thoughts and opinions, but its "lawful evil" alignment is little more than window dressing ascribed to the nature of its existence rather than any personality of its own.

    Aprils Fools
    A Holiday Bonus-type Servant.
    Fifteen years.
    You worked here for fifteen years and their thanks is a bag of gummy worms.

    Likes
    N/A

    Dislikes
    N/A

    Natural Enemy
    Gilgamesh and Enkidu

    Dialogue (Towards Black Rider from others)

    Beast VI/S
    "Fuuu, so it's one of you gangly horsemen again. Go and cause so chaos and misery amongst humanity like a good disaster, why don't you?"

    Gilgamesh (Archer and Caster)
    "Tch. So it seems that it is in your kind's nature to be a constant thorn in my side, isn't it?!"

    Sasaki Kojiro
    "...A being that strips away anything that was gained through hard work, eh? What a terrifying thought."

    Merlin
    "Hmm, well I didn't actually work all that hard developing my magecraft. I slacked off quite a bit. Though technically, I did earn this punishment of mine. Think it might be able to get rid of that? Hahaha!"

    Tsubaki/Pale Rider
    "You're a lot meaner than Mr. Black was."

    Final notes
    THE FIRES OF GREED WILL BUUUUUUUURN THE WEAK
    My attempt at creating a more conceptual servant along the lines of False Rider. The existence of the conceptual horsemen would not inherently invalidate the existence of more personified versions of themselves, but I didn't include dialogue for those guys since I would have to speak through the Servants of other people rather than have Black Rider remark on them, and I didn't want to step on anyone's toes by making their work OOC or anything.

    Money can be so funny sometimes. We just decided that one thing was equivalent to another thing in worth and things just went awry from there. That's right, math ruined human society! Go back to monke, where we all just ate bugs and whacked shit with sticks!
    P.S. it doesn't have a bond CE because its just a pure enemy Servant, like Goetia.

  18. #9358
    夜属 Nightkin Legendary Hero of the Chain's Avatar
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    The Donner Party: My heart! Why do you have to make this cute, heartbreaking little Servant?! It really is a lovely sheet, that truly pulls you in, and whilst the horror twist of the NP is expected to all who know the story, it doesn't make it any less sad that a Servant like this has to be burdened with a NP like that. Great job, ya broke ma heart.

    Amaridevi: The caster class definitely works better for her. Everything seems to be on point with her, and that Item Creation... Rin and Luvia desire ranks just increased by a factor of 10. The only thing I'd say is that perhaps a few relationships to other servants with construction/creation history may be good now that she isn't an Avenger, as the all Avenger relationships kinda stops making sense. Even if they are great. As for coming so close to 100... Congratulations! That is some damn impressive work ethic. Can't wait to see what the big 100 is.

    Hamilton Howard "Albert" Fish: This man always divides me. I want to praise the person who creates him, cause they do a great job, but I really can't bring myself to ever truly like the servant. Eh, ignoring the little argument, I think the sheet is a nice way of approaching the servant. The mutagenic side works well with the many monstrous titles he was given, and the ever reducing connection to the façade of humanity just works so well. The only question I have is the second NP, as I'm not completely sure what you're basing his ability to spread degeneracy on? It's a great concept, just one that feels a bit random. Overall, a good sheet.

    The Black Rider: A very good job on this guy. I think you hit it strong with the conceptual aspects, and going for greed over the more mundane famine for the rider works very well with the overall concept. I really don't have a lot to say, cause I think the sheet does a perfect job selling and explaining itself. Whilst the NP is ridiculously strong, for the concept of Greed and a Horseman, it is perfectly in line with what I would imagine. Really great job

  19. #9359
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    Source: SubaruSumeragi

    Class: Rider
    Other Classes: N/A
    True Name: Grace Hopper
    Alignment: Lawful Good
    Place of Origin: America (20th Century)

    Parameters:

    STR: D
    END: D
    AGI: C
    MGI: C
    LCK: C
    NP: C

    Height: 167cm
    Weight: 105lbs
    Likes: Programming
    Dislikes: Exclusivity
    Talent: Spreading computer programming to everyone
    Natural Enemy: BB
    Attribute: Man
    Traits: Female, Weak to Enuma Elish, Humanoid
    Armament: No weapons
    Catalyst: Her Presidential Medal of Freedom, her Naval uniform

    Class Skills:

    Magic Resistance C: She would normally not have a high rank of magic resistance due to her young age as a Heroic Spirit, but her ability in coding has been reshaped into a Magic Resistance skill.

    Riding D+: She never rode many things, but as a result of her status as Admiral, she gains an enhanced rank when riding ships.

    Personal Skills:

    Grandma COBOL A: The sublimation of her inventing of the first programming language utilizing English, to make computer programming more accessible, as well as her work on COBOL and her speaking style that got her the nickname Grandma COBOL. This allows her speaking to mildly alter the world around her, as well as incorperates a Charisma effect of rank C, though this doesn't last very long after she stops.

    Linker B: The ability to "compile" data into larger objects, the sublimation of her creating the first compiler. As a skill, she can compile any and all data she finds, fusing objects together into larger ones. However, this takes a lot longer for more complex objects, and cannot be done on living things or Noble Phantasms.

    Debugging B: The first case of debugging in a computer, a literal bug flying into it and causing the systems to glitch. As a skill, this allows her to figuratively "debug" things, removing all forms of poisons, corruptions, and alterations that are there that are below A rank, although this cannot be used on things such as the Grail.

    Noble Phantasm(s):

    USS Hopper
    The Ocean of Programming

    Type: Anti-Army
    Rank: C
    Range: 30 meters
    Max Targets: 1000 targets

    The sublimation of two famous things named after her: The USS Hopper, a missile-destroyer, and the super-computer Hopper. These two fused in her Noble Phantasm to manifest as a ship that is closer to a "floating super-computer", allowing hsr to recode the world as she flows through, creating and calculating almost anything. It can also launch guided missiles involved with the concept of mystery destruction, dealing more damage to older enemies.

    Lore: Admiral Grace Hopper was an American computer scientist and a Rear Admiral of the United States Navy. She was known for inventing one of the first linkers, and for devising the idea of creating a programming language that was usable with merely equations and words, as opposed to the complex code that needed to be used at the time, to make it easier for people to pick up doing it.

    Personality: A friendly and joking kind of person. Her lively speech maintains throughout her summoning, making her almost constantly start picking up friends and allies as she continues. She doesn't really have any major regrets, thinking her life went wonderfully as it did, so her wish is for computer programming to keep going, keep growing as it has been.

    Relationships:

    Charles Babbage: "Mr. Babbage, very nice to meet you. The Father of the Computer? Interesting."

    Ada Lovelace: "Countess Lovelace. It's absolutely amazing to meet the first computer programmer. I have so many questions."

    Francis Drake: "And then they just refused to touch it.. no one believed it worked. Of course, the egg's on their face now. Anyway, what's your favorite bit of your life?"

    Barthomelew Roberts: "Oh. You are truly intriguing. What's your favorite naval story?"

    Y2K: "Wait, so you're... the embodiment of the idea of a computer glitch that caused a panic? Huh. What was it like?"

    BB: "Begone, virus, and stop trying to distort my code."

  20. #9360
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    Source: Ozumii

    Class: Lancer
    Other Classes: N/A
    True Name: Harland Sanders
    Alignment: Lawful Neutral
    Place of Origin: America (20th Century)

    Parameters:

    STR: D
    END: D
    AGI: D
    MGI: C
    LCK: C
    NP: C

    Height: 191cm
    Weight: 141lbs
    Likes: Well-prepared food
    Dislikes: Cutting corners
    Talent: Cooking chicken
    Natural Enemy: Jack C. Massey
    Attribute: Man
    Traits: Male, Weak to Enuma Elish, Humanoid
    Armament: Eleven Herbs And Spices
    Catalyst: A KFC-marked product, summoning at Claudia Sanders Diner House

    Class Skills:

    Magic Resistance E: He never encountered much magic in life, so this has a low rank.

    Personal Skills:

    The Kentucky Colonel B: He was granted the status of Kentucky Colonel by the Commonwealth of Kentucky, granting him this skill. This means that any heroic spirit from North America, and from Kentucky specifically, will have an automatic feeling to trust him. In addition, this allows him to constantly seem like a kindly person who merely wants to help, even if he is actively attacking you at that very moment.

    KFC A+: Kentucky Fried Chicken, the restaurant he founded, which became a titanic chain. This grants him the ability to mass-produce chicken, though he has to take a bit of time on each one. In addition, each piece of chicken made by this is imbued with a powerful charm spell, making you constantly want more. Lastly, this also serves as Business Tactics at the same rank.

    Curse Of The Colonel B: In Japan, it is believed that Lancer's ghost cursed a baseball team because celebrating fans of that team threw a statue of him into the water. This has manifested as a skill, allowing him to place curses reducing the target's luck for a fairly long time. In addition, as he fades away from the grail war, he becomes able to place a single curse that drops a target's luck parameter to E for 18 turns.

    Noble Phantasm(s):

    Eleven Herbs and Spices
    Mystery of the Spices


    Type: Anti-Unit
    Rank: C
    Range: 10 meters
    Max Targets: 1

    The sublimation of his famous secret recipe for chicken, his Eleven Herbs And Spices, which have never been revealed. This manifests as a large chicken bone shaped like a spear and coated in the Eleven Herbs And Spices. This mystery of the unknown herbs allows the position of the spear to constantly be hard to detect, for the herbs block detection. When the true name is invoked, the herbs shift, transforming into a poison at the tip of the spear. This poison has no known antidote, as a result of the unknownness of the ingredients, but it can be resisted by people with Magic Resistance of at or above C rank.

    Lore: Colonel Harland David Sanders was a businessman most well known for founding the fast food restaurant known as KFC. He was granted the title of Kentucky Colonel at the age of 45, when he was well known for his work in town. At KFC, he utilized a secret recipe known as the Eleven Herbs And Spices, which has not been found yet.

    Personality: Friendly and personable. He adores cooking and food, and loves to meet other chefs. He feels that cooking should be taught to everyone. He is also remarkably good at promoting things, being able to bring in a large crowd whenever he begins to market the place. His wish for the grail is that he never sold KFC. Then, he believes, the cooking would have remained good and not have slipped to finally get back up in the 1980s.

    Relationships:

    Beni-Enma: "Teaching the other servants about cooking? What an incredible goal."

    Jack C. Massey: "You! How dare you appear like this. How dare you appear like this after you Cheated me out of my wealth? Out of my business?"

    Osabekahime: "Oh... this is decent, but I'd say you need another cooking lesson or two. Would you like me to help you?

    Elizabeth Bathory: "Uh.... maybe you should turn the heat on a bit less for that pasta? It's currently ashes. No matter, let's try again, shall we?"

    Tamano-no-Mae: "Your cooking is quite good, though I would personally go a bit less on the salt in this chicken."

    Emiya: "You truly are an amazing chef, kid. Great job."

    Tamano Cat: "I love this preparation of chicken, it tastes amazing. By the way, sorry if this seems blunt, but what exactly are you?"
    Last edited by jishara; July 26th, 2022 at 05:34 PM.

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