Page 470 of 494 FirstFirst ... 370420460465468469470471472475480 ... LastLast
Results 9,381 to 9,400 of 9872

Thread: Create-A-Servant 3

  1. #9381
    祖 Ancestor
    Join Date
    Mar 2022
    Location
    Somewhere
    Age
    14
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    1,128
    Blog Entries
    3
    Quote Originally Posted by Vididii View Post
    Beast's Lair: He just like me, FR FR!
    That being said, holy shit dude, pop the hell off, congrats with the big triple digits.

    Namazu: Oh no, he's Hot! I really like the conditional ME rank, that's some cool shit dude.
    Thanks for your comments dude

  2. #9382
    夜属 Nightkin Vididii's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2022
    Location
    The Schwartzwelt
    Age
    20
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    198
    US Friend Code
    724,954,417
    Oh yeah baby, it's Jalting time. 2 left!

    Ruler of Accidental Incompetence

    Identity:
    Jeanne d'Arc (Alter)

    Class:Ruler

    Alignment: Chaotic Professional

    Armament(s): Revolver and Anti-Tank Rifle

    Summoning Catalyst: N/A

    History:
    Born of the distorted perspective of Gilles de Rais, she... what, you know all that already? Alright, we'll uh, skip ahead a bit.
    And with the manifestation of all 14 (15) servants, it was time for Ruler to manifest, irregularities and risks already apparent. As the order went through The Throne for the presiding Ruler to be chosen, it settled on the always reliable Saint, Jeanne d'Arc. As a circle appeared around her, and those near bid her farewell, there was a cry of outrage.
    "NOT THIS TIME, YOU CRAZY BITCH!"
    And with a kick wreathed in accursed dragonflame, the would-be ruling blonde was kicked out of the circle, her pale counterpart now standing in her place.
    "-Now let me show ya how the REAL Jeanne get's it done! Sayonnara, lose-"


    ...And there she went, promptly manifesting in the Airforce 1 bathroom.

    Constitution as a servant:
    Similarly to her becoming a Berserker class servant, Jalter has manifested as a Ruler through a bid to prove her legitimacy as both the real Jeanne, and better than her much more saintly counterpart. And thus, in her manifestation as Ruler, her current form is the result of several machinations of her own ill-obsessed mind.
    If Fake Jeanne is representative of a bygone French era, then she will become a servant of Modern France!
    If Fake Jeanne is a protector of the Church, a Saint, then she will become a protector of the State, a Secret Agent!
    If Fake Jeanne uses archaic weapons, and commander's tactics, she will use modern weapons, and tactics of the self (Martial arts)!
    After all, she has none of any of those things!.... What do you mean she has a TANK NAMED AFTER HER???? WHAT!?!?
    ... it seems she'll be using an anti-tank rifle as a precaution.

    Personality:
    You know what this chunni shitlord is like, don't kid yourself. A shouty bastard with worth issues who's pretty decent when you get to know her.

    Height: 159 cm
    Weight: 111 lbs
    Appearance:


    Servant Parameters:
    Str: B
    End: A
    Agi: B
    Mana: B
    Luck: E-

    Class Skills:
    God's Resolution A (E-): The privilege of the Ruler presiding over the Holy Grail War: the right to use Command Spells against Servants. Each Ruler is normally granted two Command Spells for each Servant that participates in the Holy Grail War. However, through forcing her way into being summoned, she's ah... she can't actually use the skill. Shut up, it's not funny!

    Due to not being able to use the skill properly, Jalter has to take it upon herself to fight and kill any servants who would go against the laws of heroic spirits, or who's presence is, or is causing, irregularities. Especially nonstandard classes.

    True name Discernment B: If summoned as a Ruler, during a direct encounter, a Servant's true name and entire status information will be automatically revealed. In regards to Servants with concealment abilities, a Luck Check is required to bypass those abilities.

    Oblivion Correction A: Her hatred will never be cleared away, no matter how much time has passed. Even if, she is aware of the things more wonderful than her hatred. While normally a skill of the avenger class, she receives it here due to the fact that her hatred was strong enough to override Jeanne's manifestation as presiding ruler of the Future/legacy Grail War. Due to this, she has lost out on most of her mana resistance signature to the Ruler class.

    Magic Resistance D: Cancels Single-Action spells. Magic Resistance of the same degree of an amulet that rejects magical energy. While her low rank is due to Oblivion Correction, it may also be even lower due to her adoption of modern weaponry, making her a modern servant in a way.

    Personal Skills:
    Presiding Witch EX: A transformation of the Dragon Witch skill, due to the shift from the Avenger class. Having been produced by Gilles' wishes, Jeanne Alter possesses from birth the power of the Dragon Kind. She is believed to be an inverse phenomenon from Saints possessing anecdotes of dispersing the Dragon Kind, such as Martha or maybe Georgios. Possesses a unique Charisma that makes dragons obey her, and a power that raises the attack power of the party. Lower-class Dragon Kind members can be placed under her control and are able to be manipulated with a single flash of her pistol. Simultaneously, it also serves as a non-standard Riding Skill, making it even possible for her to ride a Dragon Kind through the acquisition of this Skill.

    Marksmanship C-: A Skill representing all-round shooting techniques, which includes quick drawing and trick shooting by means of small arms. Jalter manifested with this knowledge in order to use her new weapons effectively. It's C- rank because she's... admittedly still getting used to them.

    French Martial Arts C+: A skill denoting skill in the martial arts of France: it's creation Savate, and it's specialty, Judo. Jalter receives it at a higher rank than Fake Jeanne's comparable skill in Charisma, both in her desire to prove she is superior, and because she has to recoup for her inferior rank in marksmanship.

    Meurs Où tu Dois EX: Accurately, it’s “Va où tu peux, meurs où tu dois”. Go to the place you must go, die at the place you must die… A French proverb. For one reason or another, she who is an Avenger is looking for a place to die. Not a pleasant, gentle death. No matter how intense, how desperate it is. Hoping that’s a satisfactory departure, she continues fighting every day. It's a skill that appears whenever she's not in her natural Avenger Class.


    Noble Phantasm(s):
    Goldeneye- B
    A Manurhin MR73 double-action revolver, popularized by the GIGN, the elite police tactical unit of the French National Gendarmerie for it's reliability, despite being outdated. Any good secret agent should have an iconic pistol, so she should too! Due to it's legendary reliability, when aiming down it's sight and standing still, her Marksmanship actually loses it's negative modifier temporarily.

    La Grondement Du Haine: Flagsmasher- A+
    The cursed flag possessed by the Jeanne who descended as the Dragon Witch. It stops the enemy’s attack in the same way as Jeanne d'Arc’s Noble Phantasm, but this Noble Phantasm also swells up that attack, before it reflects it back. Also, its power will increase even more if her allies and the likes die. Then, whether it is a slashing attack, a striking attack, or on top of that, a hit by means of a curse, all of it will in the same way be converted into her physical attack power when they are halted by the Noble Phantasm.

    The flag can release flames with performance resembling a first-rate Dragon’s breath. Under the name of an avenger, Jeanne Alter kindles the flames and transforms the grudges from herself and the surroundings into magical energy, burning the opponents' injustice, corruption and self-righteousness up to the marrow of their bones to ashes. Furthermore, the stake was stuck into her image. Personally for her, “I was attached to… uh, something jagged… and made of steel, and a harsh impression of it remains with me!”, and this impression allows her to create these stakes in her image for her own use.

    ...Now In Anti-Tank form!

    Design Notes:
    - Once again, one of my Fighting game servants. Much as she is in FGO, she's a sort of joke character
    - Her Gameplay Archetype however, would probably be that of a Gorilla- she's got little actual range, as when she fires her guns outside of supers, the only part with a hurtbox is the muzzle flash or explosion. I think that's pretty fun
    - Her Summer Berserker form was actually the berserker of the Tradition Faction in my early planning stages, but I decided to go with Raikou as a power boost.
    - GDH:F isn't modeled after any real firearm- instead, Jalter continues her myriad of attack references from Hawaii, this time looking to Hellsing, creating an Anti-Tank rifle that's pretty much exactly like the Harkonnen used by Seras Victoria. After all, bitches love cannons, and Jalter just happens to be a massive bitch at times.
    - She's got a pair of aviators on her, they're just in her pocket
    - She possesses terrible trigger discipline, and won't shoot Goldeneye any way but sideways. As they meet on multiple occasions, these factors unnerve Gatsby greatly for some reason he can't put his finger on.
    - Due to God's Resolution, she is tasked with "the elimination of a nonstandard servant who threatens human history and the safety of the world itself". Being an overzealous idiot, she goes after the first one she detects, Gatsby, instead of thinking it through properly. After managing good terms later in the war, she sees this particular task as done.
    However, the actual target she was supposed to go after was Scheherazade Alter, who always manifests on the moon, and thus, Jalter never learns of her.
    - She's the first fight in arcade mode, no matter who you are.
    Last edited by Vididii; July 31st, 2022 at 10:29 AM. Reason: n

  3. #9383
    I probably enjoyed like 4 days so far in 2022. WhiteFrenzy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2018
    Location
    Present day, present time
    Gender
    Female
    Posts
    579
    JP Friend Code
    203,769,377
    Blog Entries
    2
    Quote Originally Posted by Spammin Spiff View Post
    I'M ALIVE!
    [Also a big snip holy s-]
    HEYA MAN.

    Also, thank you for your thoughtful comment, that I agree wholeheartedly. But as it was estabilished, Zilpah hates Jacob's guts and WILL badmouth him at any given chance. Leah is more of a "it's on the past" kinda person, but unfortunately she's also not very vocal so her other much louder half ended up having much more quotes in the sheet. It's that same old problem of an extrovert taking over the introvert's space. But I'm super glad you liked my little comment to your Benjamin sheet (which was amazing EXCUSE ME I WUV HIM??) and I'm sure Leah likes him in her own way too.

    Also² I'm eager to see your comeback sheet when you're ready for it. I know it'll be a banger!


    Vididii: I could shower you in praises - which you deserve - but since I'm not supposed to be here lemme just resume my very incoherent feelingS with a coherent sentence: I ABSOLUTELY LOVE HER? Thanks. P.S.: All my respect to those who dare to draw their own Servants. May your crops always grow, your skin will always be smooth as a dolphin, your bank account will always be bursting full.
    Last edited by WhiteFrenzy; July 26th, 2022 at 01:52 PM.

    © liliesfree

    ——————
    WHITEFRENZY'S
    servant corner
    —————

  4. #9384
    夜属 Nightkin Vididii's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2022
    Location
    The Schwartzwelt
    Age
    20
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    198
    US Friend Code
    724,954,417
    Quote Originally Posted by WhiteFrenzy View Post
    Vididii: I could shower you in praises - which you deserve - but since I'm not supposed to be here lemme just resume my very incoherent feelingS with a coherent sentence: I ABSOLUTELY LOVE HER? Thanks. P.S.: All my respect to those who dare to draw their own Servants. May your crops always grow, your skin will always be smooth as a dolphin, your bank account will always be bursting full.
    Eyy, thanks mate, happy to hear it, that means a lot

  5. #9385
    夜属 Nightkin Legendary Hero of the Chain's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2019
    Location
    Siltvelt
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    193
    Blog Entries
    1
    Well, theirs been quite a number of sheets, so may as well go through them.


    Grace Hopper: A weird but nice combination of the two sides of the servant, especially with the NP mixing a computer and a ship for the Admiral. Giving her the ability to distort reality with language is a really inspired way of incorporating the coding aspects of her history. The personality really does make the charisma bit quite appropriate, since she makes good use of it.


    Harland Sanders: ...I am unsurprised about your use of the dating sim image, but I really didn't need to be reminded that existed. Ignoring my minor issue with the FC, the rest of the sheet is stellar, barring one part. Using the curse is a really nice move, and whilst I think it's effects should be longer since the curse on the team was around for ages, it makes a nice deal of sense. The NP just has me laughing, as I can't not find the idea of this man wielding a giant chicken bone funny. The only question is the personality, since a lot of the info we have on Sanders doesn't always make him out to be the nicest person.


    Nadia Boulanger: Appropriate for a teacher to be a very support oriented servant. Across the board, some wonderful choices, an d the huge amount of references to some of your other sheets is a nice touch. Overall, not much to say on this one other than good job.


    Claude Cahun: An interesting way of using her. Pulling her espionage aspects to the surface works really well for the class, and gives good reason for her presence. The little bit about stirring up chaos makes for a nice twist in her personality, and across her abilities, she'd do so quite well. I'd have to say my favorite parts is her third skill and NP. The idea of using her many portraits as a way to give her many forms just fits well with the whole espionage vibe, and the skill just feels like a good tribute to her work.


    Dong Xian: Hmm, I'm a bit more split on this one. Whilst the item creation skill is fine, the rank of the territory creation feels a bit low for being able to produce something on the level of something equal to the imperial palace. Also, his seeming rise despite things just makes him feel like he should be an assassin, as weird as it is. On the other side, the sublimations of his many gifts from the emperor and using the boons to his family are pretty cool, and the NP is quite an inspired choice, using those anecdotes in the way you did.


    Namazu: His hatred of restrain is quite appropriate, and I just find the idea of a natural disaster sensing other natural disasters. Going for the mermaid, or in this case merman, route makes fair sense, even if I wish his NP manifested more like Whitebeards quake powers. However, it's current form just is to entertaining to imagine to dislike.


    Across the board, some interesting sheets Jishara


    Jeanne d'Arc (Alter): Well, this is as funny as I expected it to be. Overall, a wonderful sheet, and an excellent addition to the more shitposty version of Jalter we've all come to love. The explanations seem good across the board, and the new forms for her NP is just magnificent. Always appreciate a Hellsing: Abridged reference, especially ones that aren't too egregious. Overall, a really great sheet.

  6. #9386
    祖 Ancestor
    Join Date
    Mar 2022
    Location
    Somewhere
    Age
    14
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    1,128
    Blog Entries
    3
    Quote Originally Posted by Legendary Hero of the Chain View Post
    Well, theirs been quite a number of sheets, so may as well go through them.


    Grace Hopper: A weird but nice combination of the two sides of the servant, especially with the NP mixing a computer and a ship for the Admiral. Giving her the ability to distort reality with language is a really inspired way of incorporating the coding aspects of her history. The personality really does make the charisma bit quite appropriate, since she makes good use of it.


    Harland Sanders: ...I am unsurprised about your use of the dating sim image, but I really didn't need to be reminded that existed. Ignoring my minor issue with the FC, the rest of the sheet is stellar, barring one part. Using the curse is a really nice move, and whilst I think it's effects should be longer since the curse on the team was around for ages, it makes a nice deal of sense. The NP just has me laughing, as I can't not find the idea of this man wielding a giant chicken bone funny. The only question is the personality, since a lot of the info we have on Sanders doesn't always make him out to be the nicest person.


    Nadia Boulanger: Appropriate for a teacher to be a very support oriented servant. Across the board, some wonderful choices, an d the huge amount of references to some of your other sheets is a nice touch. Overall, not much to say on this one other than good job.


    Claude Cahun: An interesting way of using her. Pulling her espionage aspects to the surface works really well for the class, and gives good reason for her presence. The little bit about stirring up chaos makes for a nice twist in her personality, and across her abilities, she'd do so quite well. I'd have to say my favorite parts is her third skill and NP. The idea of using her many portraits as a way to give her many forms just fits well with the whole espionage vibe, and the skill just feels like a good tribute to her work.


    Dong Xian: Hmm, I'm a bit more split on this one. Whilst the item creation skill is fine, the rank of the territory creation feels a bit low for being able to produce something on the level of something equal to the imperial palace. Also, his seeming rise despite things just makes him feel like he should be an assassin, as weird as it is. On the other side, the sublimations of his many gifts from the emperor and using the boons to his family are pretty cool, and the NP is quite an inspired choice, using those anecdotes in the way you did.


    Namazu: His hatred of restrain is quite appropriate, and I just find the idea of a natural disaster sensing other natural disasters. Going for the mermaid, or in this case merman, route makes fair sense, even if I wish his NP manifested more like Whitebeards quake powers. However, it's current form just is to entertaining to imagine to dislike.


    Across the board, some interesting sheets Jishara


    Jeanne d'Arc (Alter): Well, this is as funny as I expected it to be. Overall, a wonderful sheet, and an excellent addition to the more shitposty version of Jalter we've all come to love. The explanations seem good across the board, and the new forms for her NP is just magnificent. Always appreciate a Hellsing: Abridged reference, especially ones that aren't too egregious. Overall, a really great sheet.
    Thanks for your comments!

    Dong Xian: I have increased his territory creation skill to A rank, it makes sense that it should be more powerful then a workshop As for the Caster, I thought it fit better just because of the palace and treasures naturally slotting into Caster class skills, I might do a Assassin variant at some point

    Harland Sanders: I have bumped Curse of the Colonel up to B and increased the duration The personality was essentially chosen as more of his after-life image and such (If I end up doing a Sanders Lily, it'll probably be a more crazy Berserker)
    Last edited by jishara; July 26th, 2022 at 05:46 PM.

  7. #9387
    祖 Ancestor
    Join Date
    Mar 2022
    Location
    Somewhere
    Age
    14
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    1,128
    Blog Entries
    3

    Source: Moochirin

    Class: Assassin
    Other Classes: N/A
    True Name: Eleonora Duse
    Alignment: Neutral Good
    Place of Origin: Italy (19th Century)

    Parameters:

    STR: C
    END: D
    AGI: C
    MGI: D
    LCK: C
    NP: C

    Height: 192cm
    Weight: 140lbs
    Likes: Playing a part
    Dislikes: Being off the stage
    Talent: Becoming her role
    Natural Enemy: Sarah Bernhardt
    Attribute: Man
    Traits: Female, Weak to Enuma Elish, Humanoid
    Armament: N/A
    Catalyst: A photograph of her

    Class Skills:

    Presence Concealment C: The capability to suppress one's own presence, granted to her as a Class Skill. In life, she did a lot of things stealthily, and hid away from the media. This has granted her a moderately high rank in this skill.

    Personal Skills:

    Cenere B: The sublimation of the film Cenere, her only dabble into movies. As a skill, this has manifested as the capability to control ashes, blotting out herself and the areas to help her fade from view. In addition, this grants her an effect similar to a low-ranked Protection of the Faith, weakening mental debuffs and physical debuffs against her.

    Acting Should Grow B: The sublimation of her aiding and encouragement of many other actors and dancers. This has sublimated into a skill which allows her to pass on acting skills to her allies, granting them more perfect balance as well as Espionage at ranks between D and E. In addition, they can continue to train and continue to rank up.

    Weak Constitution C-A: In life, she was fairly ill, constantly getting sicker. This means that in combat, she has a moderate chance of her stats dropping, and this rises the longer she remains in one role.

    Noble Phantasm(s):

    Eliminer le Soi
    Made Herself Up Morally


    Type: Anti-Unit (Self)
    Rank: C
    Range: 0m
    Max Targets: Self

    The sublimation of her particular technique of acting, where she eliminated herself utterly to become the character she portrayed. This allows her to perfectly disguise herself as any humanoid being, eliminating the self and letting their personality and emotions dye her over, although this reduces her Endurance stat whenever she uses it. In addition, this has a passive effect whenever she is not in a role, for as she declared, "When I'm off the stage, I do not exist". And such it is. Whenever she isn't in a role, her mana consumption drops to almost nil and her presence concealment shoots to A+ rank. However, she also cannot physically affect the world around her, almost like a ghost, though she keeps the use of her skills.

    Lore: Eleonora Duse was an Italian actress, who was one of the greatest of her time. She performed in many different types of plays, most notably ones by Gabriel D'Annunzio and Henrik Ibsen, but also a large number of Shakespearian plays. She was also known for her rivalry with her idol, Sarah Bernhardt.

    Personality: Incredibly shy and timid, she does whatever she can to hide from view against most other people, unless she trusts them extremely or is very mad at them. However, when she's on the stage and playing a part, all that melts away. She adores seeing other actors rise, and will try to attend as many premieres as she can (hidden, of course). Her wish for the Grail is that she was able to inspire more people.

    Relationships:

    Gabriel D'Annunzio: "You. I thought you supported me! But yet.... you gave it to her?"

    Isadora Duncan: "...Who's there? Please don't....Oh, Isadora! How have you been?"

    Sarah Bernhardt: "Ah....you're here too...our rivalry continues into another chapter, I see...."

    Paula Maxa: "....Eep....You're quite intimidating...but your performances are wonderful!"

    William Shakespeare: "...Your plays are wonderful, but.....why are you trying to manipulate people's lives?"

    Jack the Ripper: "....Please don't hurt me..."

  8. #9388
    祖 Ancestor
    Join Date
    Mar 2022
    Location
    Somewhere
    Age
    14
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    1,128
    Blog Entries
    3

    Source: 9GAG

    Class: Caster
    Other Classes: N/A
    True Name: Isadora Duncan
    Alignment: True Neutral
    Place of Origin: America (20th Century)

    Parameters:

    STR: C
    END: E
    AGI: B
    MGI: B
    LCK: C
    NP: B

    Height: 181cm
    Weight: 151lbs
    Likes: Dancing, nature
    Dislikes: Restrictions
    Talent: Dancing
    Natural Enemy: Bedivere
    Attribute: Man
    Traits: Female, Weak to Enuma Elish, Humanoid
    Armament: N/A
    Catalyst: Her scarf, a copy of My Life

    Class Skills:

    Territory Creation (Dance) B: Her territory creation skill causes her to permanantly passively expand a territory around her, granting her similar bonuses as a Workshop. However, it doesn't remain in one place at any point.

    Item Creation E: She never trained in creating items, and so can't create anything larger then a paper-clip or any more complex.

    Personal Skills:

    Isadorables C: The six girls she adopted and trained to dance, manifesting in a skill. This allows her to place a miniature shard of her saint graph in willing individuals, allowing them to gain Evolutionary Dance at D rank and Choreftitra at E rank. In addition, she is able to weakly materialize shadows of herself that imitate her movements, up to six.

    Inspiration from the Surroundings B: She took inspirations from the surroundings around her whenever she danced, improvising depending on what she saw. This allows her to inspire her steps based on another being nearby, duplicating one of their skills at lower rank for the duration that she remains dancing and they remain in the same area.

    Evolutionary Dance A: Her style of dance discussed each step as following from the next to the next. This has manifested into a skill, allowing her every movement to grow and hone depending on her previous movements. In other words, allowing her to "Chain" her dance steps. In addition, they also grow in accuracy against any target that she continues with.

    Noble Phantasm(s):

    Choreftitra
    Dance Is A Sacred Art


    Type: Anti-Army
    Rank: B
    Range: 30 meters
    Max Targets: 100

    The sublimation of her new style of dancing, incorporating nature, the sea, folk dances, and Ancient Greek arts and dances into it. Unbeknownst to her until she was summoned, this tapped into a form of Nature Magic utilized by the ancient greeks, the Bacchanalian Dance. This passively causes every one of her dance steps to be able to control the nature around her. When its true name is summoned, a different aspect of the Bacchanalian Dance is tapped into, that of frenzy and madness, spreading a curse that forces any targets around her to dance, while also increasing her magic.

    Lore: Isadora Duncan was an American dancer known for her free, improvisatory style of dancing and her teaching of dance to many people. She is often known as one of the creators of modern dance. In addition, she was known for her emphasis on evolutionary dance movements, such that every movement went from the next to the next to the next.

    Personality: A carefree, lighthearted, and friendly person, she constantly dances from one pose to the next and speaks from one pose to the next. In addition, she is a "Social Butterfly", talking with anyone and everyone in the room as soon as she possibly can. She has a singular wish for the grail, to have remained famed throughout the end of her life.

    Relationships:

    Eleonora Duse: "Oh, Leo! It's been a while. How have you been?"

    Bedivere: "Loosen up a little, it's fine to relax you know."

    Jeanne D'Arc: "I admire your conviction."

    Baobhan Sidh: "I see you've loosened up, but... it's a bit sadistic for my taste."

    Jing Ke: "I like your spirit. Let's party till the dawn comes up!"

  9. #9389
    祖 Ancestor Sione's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2021
    Posts
    1,014
    JP Friend Code
    318,917,579
    Man, these looks AI-generated.

  10. #9390
    祖 Ancestor
    Join Date
    Mar 2022
    Location
    Somewhere
    Age
    14
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    1,128
    Blog Entries
    3

    Source: Peakpx

    Class: Berserker
    Other Classes: N/A
    True Name: Mariam Soulakiotis
    Alignment: Chaotic Evil
    Place of Origin: Greece (20th Century)

    Parameters:

    STR: B
    END: C
    AGI: D
    MGI: C
    LCK: C
    NP: C

    Height: 181cm
    Weight: 140lbs
    Likes: Torturing people, false kindness, people thinking she's a good person
    Dislikes: Being kind, healthy people, people knowing she's evil
    Talent: Torture
    Natural Enemy: Saint Martha, Jeanne D'Arc
    Attribute: Man
    Traits: Female, Weak to Enuma Elish, Humanoid
    Armament: A jug of olive oil, Panagia Pefkovounogiatrissa
    Catalyst: An Epanokalimavkion belonging to her

    Class Skills:

    Madness Enhancement B: The Berserker class skill. Her parameters are ranked up, but in exchange, she loses much of her sanity.

    Personal Skills:

    Saint E: She is venerated as a saint by some Greek Old Calendarists and the nuns from the abbey she ran. This has granted her a very low rank of this skill. When summoned as a servant, she is able to choose between "Slight Automatic HP Recovery" and "Rank-Up to the effectiveness of her Crozier".

    Sadistic Constitution C: A skill that augments her aggression in battle, causing her to slide more and more into insanity as she continues in battle, focusing herself on offensive strikes again and again over defending against any attacks. This isn't as powerful as it could be, though, as her class skill is very similar to it and Saint, despite its low rank, weakens this slightly.

    Mother Rasputin A: The sublimation of her manipulation of the events around her to obtain power as the Abbess, preventing the founder from trying to heal the schism. As a skill, this allows her to more easily manipulate anyone within her earshot, and even convert people into weak familiars, nuns and monks, with Madness Enhancement E and Sadistic Constitution D.

    Noble Phantasm(s):

    Panagia Pefkovounogiatrissa
    The Monastery of Mariam of Keratea

    Type: Anti-Unit
    Rank: C
    Range: 40 meters
    Max Targets: 500 targets

    The sublimation of her horrific deeds within the monastery which she lead as abbess. It passively sublimates into a crozier that she holds, of which every swing causes any being besides herself nearby to begin coughing. This can communicate between them and others, and can become very serious and even fatal, but they won't realize it, for they'll believe "they have already been cured". When its true name is called, it leeches away all money from a target, and steals their Mana, while imbuing them with the same cough.

    Lore: Mariam Soulakiotis was an abbess who was a serial murderer, having killed several people herself, as well as claiming that she would cure people who came to her sick, but instead trap them in the abbey and force them to will their money to her. She was originally tried for exporting olive oil and importing tires from Cyprus, but more and more of her crimes were revealed as the trials continued on. She died before many of them finished, so was only charged at her death with murdering seven people and committing neglegient homicides on over a hundred, though the agreed on number for her victims are 177 including both types.

    Personality: Initially she seems like an utterly kind and genuine person, wanting to do anything she can to help you from any troubles you have. But if you look deeper, you'll notice something slightly off. A gleam of sadism every time someone comes to her in pain. In truth, she is an utterly sadistic and cruel person who wishes to do anything she can to continue seeing pain in people. Her wish for the Grail would to return to the world as a Saint, so that she would have utter impunity to continue torturing.

    Relationships:

    Jeanne D'Arc: "Oh, hello Jeanne. Is there anything you need? Oh, your flag ripped. One second, let me sew this back together. Whoops! Sorry about that. One second, let me just extract my needle from your hand. There we go, that's better."

    Caligula: "The Glory of Rome? I think it would be the most glorious thing for Rome if you fought Artoria over there, proving the strength of Rome."

    Meltryllis: "I wouldn't think you're sadistic. Anyway, hold still, please. There you go, new ballet shoes... Oh, are you okay? You broke your leg!"

    Wu Zetian: "Empress Wu. What a pleasure to speak to you. What help do you need? You've been constantly coughing? I can help you with that."

    Kiara Sessyoin: "You are... not a nun, although you dress like it. Interesting. Anyway, what do you need?"

    Barghest: "Oh no! What happened? Your horn broke! A crozier hit you? What a peculiar thing."

    Baohban Sidh: "Oh, how interesting. All of your shoes shattered? Here, I have a pair for you. Oh no! I must have accidentally left the needles in there by mistake."

    Mori Nagayoshi: "Oh, poor thing, so banged up. Here, let me clean the wounds. Sorry about the severe pain, but it will clean your wounds easily."

  11. #9391
    祖 Ancestor
    Join Date
    Mar 2022
    Location
    Somewhere
    Age
    14
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    1,128
    Blog Entries
    3

    Source: Alice Luna

    Class: Archer
    Other Classes: N/A
    True Name: Elsa Schiaparelli
    Alignment: Neutral Good
    Place of Origin: Italy (20th Century)

    Parameters:

    STR: D
    END: D
    AGI: D
    MGI: B
    LCK: C
    NP: D

    Height: 181 cm
    Weight: 140lbs
    Likes: Unconventional clothes, surrealism
    Dislikes: Bland clothes
    Talent: Designing surrealistic clothes
    Natural Enemy: Da Vinci
    Attribute: Man
    Traits: Female, Weak to Enuma Elish, Humanoid
    Armament: Measuring tape, needles
    Catalyst: A copy of the Lobster Dress

    Class Skills:

    Independent Action D: She wasn't particularly independent in life, but her very unique style ranks-up this skill, allowing her to last for several hours without a master.

    Magic Resistance E: She never faced magic in life, and as such gains a minimal rank in this Class Skill.

    Personal Skills:

    Synthetic Fabrics C: The sublimation of her utilization of synthetic clothing of assorted types, being one of the first couture designers to utilize them. This manifests in the capability to produce "Any type of fabric", no matter what it is or if it has ever existed. This can even produce things such as dragon scales or a Nemean Lion pelt, though they are are severely reduced in effectiveness as they are merely synthetic replicas of the fabric.

    Schiaparelli Perfumes B: Schiaparelli was also noted for her perfumes, which were in peculiar packaging. This has manifested in the ability to "store scent in any object", no matter what it is or how it looks, though it cannot be larger then a couch. From a stone or a blade of grass to a dress or a fireplace, anything can be hiding any type of scent, from healing and supporting ones to vile and stinging ones, though she prefers softer ones.

    Trompe L'Eoil C: The sublimation of her use of Trompe L'oeil, the effect that something 2D looks 3D. As a skill, this has manifested as the capability to produce illusions depending on the designs that she makes. For example, if she designs a lobster, she can create an illusion of a titanic one. A bug swarm will allow her to create that, a dragon creating a dragon illusion..... Of course, these are merely illusions with no physical qualities.

    Noble Phantasm(s):

    Moda Pazza
    The House of Schiaparelli

    Type: Anti-Unit
    Rank: D
    Range: 10 Meters
    Max Targets: 1 target

    The sublimation of her entire style of fashion designing. It manifests into the many needles she carries. Every time she throws one, she can activate its true name, allowing her to have it automatically embroider anything that she wishes into it. In addition, it is automatically filled with infinite amounts of highly durable thread.

    Lore: Elsa Schiaparelli was an Italian fashion designer noted for her surrealistic designs and unconventional themes, such as insects, tromp l'oeil, and bright pink. She also helped popularize a number of clothing types such as shorts.

    Personality: She is constantly looking for inspiration wherever she can find it, and constantly tends to carry string with her along with her Moda Pazza needles, so that she can make clothes whenever she needs, without having to activate Moda Pazza, though she loves to activate it. Her wish for the grail is that, in life, her style remained popular.

    Relationships:

    Van Gogh: "Wait a second. Sunflower shoes and gloves! That's an absolutely brilliant idea. Would you mind if I design a line of couture based on that?"

    Da Vinci: "Your fashion is lovely, but very bland."

    Hokusai: "Hmm, would you mind if I watch you paint for a bit? Your style seems quite interesting."

    Raikou: "Very nice to meet someone else who knows how to sew."

    Kintoki: "Huh, interesting style upgrades. I'll definitely take a look."
    Last edited by jishara; August 1st, 2022 at 03:34 PM.

  12. #9392
    屍鬼 Ghoul ElioHerondale's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2022
    Location
    Western Sydney
    Age
    17
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    13
    Blog Entries
    2
    Hi. My name's Elio. I'm kinda new here and am itching to show my servant idea but I don't really know where to start. Like, I know how to use the formatting and stuff but I don't know if there's a template used for servant creation. Can y'all please help me if it isn't a bother?
    Ya-ho~ I'm still new here so this box ain't filled out as it should be.

    The Bucket


    This Permutations and Combinatronics shit is verily bussing yo~

  13. #9393
    地獄の海軍大提督 Kamera's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2019
    Location
    Melbourne
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    1,794
    Blog Entries
    2
    Here's a template I use. Feel free to modify it to how you see fit, or use it as it is.

    Template
    "Quote"

    [Faceclaim]




    Profile 1



    Profile 2



    Profile 3



    Profile 4



    Class: Saber
    True Name: Arthur Pendragon
    Gender: Male
    Alignment: Lawful Good
    Origin: Arthurian Mythos
    Attribute: Earth

    Introduction

    Parameters:
    STR: B
    END: B
    AGI: B
    MGI: B
    LCK: B
    NP: B

    Class Skills:
    Magic Resistance: A
    Description

    Riding: A
    Description

    Personal Skills:
    Dragon Core: A
    Description

    Charisma: B
    Description

    Instinct: A
    Description

    Noble Phantasms:
    Excalibur
    Holy Sword of Promised Victory
    Type: Anti-Fortress
    Rank: A+
    Description



    - - - Updated - - -

    Here's another template from the Monthly Contest page:

    Template2
    Character Image/Faceclaim: (Optional)
    Source:

    Class:
    Other Classes: (If Applicable)
    True Name:
    Alignment:
    Place of Origin:

    Parameters:

    STR:
    END:
    AGI:
    MGI:
    LCK:
    NP:

    Height:
    Weight:
    Likes:
    Dislikes:
    Talent:
    Natural Enemy:
    Attribute:
    Traits:
    Armament:
    Catalyst:

    Class Skills:

    Personal Skills:

    Noble Phantasm(s):

    Noble Phantasm Name
    Noble Phantasm Title


    Type:
    Rank:
    Range:
    Max Targets:

    Lore:

    Personality:

    Relationships:

    Creator Notes: (Optional)


  14. #9394
    夜属 Nightkin Vididii's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2022
    Location
    The Schwartzwelt
    Age
    20
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    198
    US Friend Code
    724,954,417
    Weirdest servant I've made by far- 1 left in my Fighting Game series after this, should be way faster.

    The Voice of The Somatic Asylum

    Identity:
    Scheherazade Alter

    Class: Foreigner

    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral

    Armament(s): Milk, Honey, Ichor, her tales

    Summoning Catalyst: Scheherazade Alter is not ordinarily able to be purposely summoned in a Grail War- instead, there is a chance she will emerge from Enno-Lunn onto the moon if servants of each of the following distinctions are present:
    1. Servants who are Kings, or who possess the King attribute (David, Mysterious Heroine X, Pensilithea, etc)
    2. Servants who possess strong enough ties to the moon that they manifest in skills and/or noble phantasms (Astolfo, Caligula, Orion, etc)
    3. Servants who originate from literature, or are manifestations of the literature themselves, NOT author servants (Nursery Rhyme, Don Quixote, Frankenstein's Monster, etc)
    Additionally, the presence of any Alter servants will increase the chance she appears.

    History: Scheherazade is the narrator of "One Thousand and One Nights" - a collection of stories structured with embedded narratives, translated into Arabic around the 8th Century – and the legendary queen of Persia’s Sasanian Empire. Whether the "Scheherazade" that is here is a character from the stories, or the actual person who served as the character's model―――no one can be sure. There is no one other than herself who knows all the truths of "her own tale".

    King Shahryar had repeated a cycle of killing maidens he married every night. In order to stop that evil act, the vizier's daughter, Scheherazade, offered herself up for marriage. As Scheherazade spent her first night with the king, a plan was set where her invited sister, Dunyazade, would beg her to tell a story. The king would listen to Scheherazade's narrated stories which Dunyazade spoke of with fascination, and plead for her to continue but, by then, dawn had already arrived. Scheherazade announced "Please hold onto that excitement for tomorrow's story". For that purpose, the king continued to let Scheherazade live so that he could listen to her stories, and eventually...

    That is where her path diverges into the creation of an Alter Servant. In the present ending of the "One Thousand and One Nights", "Scheherazade bore three children, and the king learned of patience" was the manner in which the story ended. As aforementioned, this was a conclusion that didn't exist in the original tale, and there is a high chance that the "Proper Scheherazade" (Caster) has not experienced this. It is in the gift of an ending that Scheherazade Alter diverges- and ending where King Shahryar felt no love. Instead, in this ending, Scheherazade is sentenced to death as many other women were before her, but for trying to escape fate, she received the worst and one of the most famous methods of Persian torture and execution:

    Scaphism.
    As chronicled by Byzantine Historian Joannes Zonaras,
    "The Persians outvie all other barbarians in the horrid cruelty of their punishments, employing tortures that are peculiarly terrible and long-drawn, namely the 'boats' and sewing men up in raw hides. But what is meant by the 'boats,' I must now explain for the benefit of less well informed readers. Two boats are joined together one on top of the other, with holes cut in them in such a way that the victim's head, hands, and feet only are left outside. Within these boats the man to be punished is placed lying on his back, and the boats then nailed together with bolts. Next they pour a mixture of milk and honey into the wretched man's mouth, till he is filled to the point of nausea, smearing his face, feet, and arms with the same mixture, and so leave him exposed to the sun. This is repeated every day, the effect being that flies, wasps, and bees, attracted by the sweetness, settle on his face and all such parts of him as project outside the boats, and miserably torment and sting the wretched man. Moreover his belly, distended as it is with milk and honey, throws off liquid excrements, and these putrefying breed swarms of worms, intestinal and of all sorts. Thus the victim lying in the boats, his flesh rotting away in his own filth and devoured by worms, dies a lingering and horrible death."

    Scheherazade would endure for an utterly supernatural 29 and a half days, the woman's own almost manic fear of death. Those who were unfortunate enough to witness her agony up close would report that she seemed to take solace in the coming of night, the light of the moon illuminating her fetid tomb, and freeing her from the agony of the sun's heat. Those who had to bestow milk and honey upon her would report that she seemed to be deliriously speaking to someone, or something... but they could never fathom whom.

    However, on the 30th day, when they went to reapply the torture, the boats were gone, along with their Inhabitant. The ordeal had already been strange, with her incredible length of survival, and the fact that there had been no vomit or excrement as there usually was, but this was something else altogether. The servants who the duty had been thrust upon then rushed to tell King Shahryar, but when they opened the door to his bedchambers... the month's worth of bodily refuse that would pile up from a double-length Scaphism ritual had flooded from all his orifices, killing him.


    Personality:
    "A gloomy, quiet and calm female storyteller. Scheherazade is clearheaded, composed, and is of the outstandingly cool-type of person, but that is not a harsh coldness. It is not an icy coldness, but a coldness like that of the moonlight."
    That is how the proper Scheherazade acts. Alter is much the same, but instead of a quiet calm, she is home to constant mutterings, under breath ramblings, stories that she creates and cannot help but utter to nobody. If she were somehow able to talk with someone on neutral or positive terms however, she would be much more amicable than her Caster counterpart, quietly elated in the chance for someone to wish to hear her voice as her sister once did.

    Her utter terror towards the concept of death is the same as Caster's.

    Foreigner Patron: "The Prisoner of The Dreaming Moon" (Mnomquah)
    Height: 168 cm
    Weight: 172 lbs
    Appearance:
    Her eyelids are always shut, as she gave her eyes as payment for being saved, and to be confirm her contract with The Prisoner



    Servant Parameters:
    Str: E
    End: B
    Agi: C
    Mana: EX
    Luck: EX

    Class Skills:
    Existence Outside the Domain A: A Class Skill associated with Foreigners. Denotes a being that descended from the void of outer space. Rescued by the evil god, she now possesses and uses part of the god's power

    Divinity B: The measure of whether one has Divine Spirit aptitude or not. At high levels, one is treated as a mixed race of a Divine Spirit - a demi-god. Having become the "Mouth" and Emissary for a higher-order existence lurking in a dimension tied to the shadow of the moon, Alter is tinged with a strong divinity. A looming threat that wishes to bring the "safety" of her domain, the moon prison/city, to Earth.

    Insanity B: Utmost Paranoia towards Death, and the creation of endless ideas in lunar solitude.

    Territory Creation B++: One can create an advantageous position for themselves as a mage. Scheherazade happens to create a “sleeping quarter” (though it appears more and more like a throne room over time) for the sake of her own survival, and Alter does the same. However, as her stories were not enough to sway the king in this version of her tale, it is at a lower rank than her natural counterpart.

    Personal Skills:
    Clairvoyance (Blind) C: It is a skill that connotes superior visual perception and dynamic occipital capture, such as to supplement the long-range aiming of projectile weapons. At higher ranks, it is possible that the bearers of this Skill have acquired abilities such as precognition ("future vision") and other forms of perception beyond standard eyesight (X-ray vision and so forth). Having traded away her eyes, she now "sees" via her other senses, curiously, taste being the strongest of them. They come together to form a mental viewing of the area around her, in a way similar to echolocation. It is skewed by Mnomquah's desires however, and things may come off as more negative or malicious if he views them as such, or positive and fulfilling if he feels that way.

    Storyteller EX: A Skill that shows how skillful one is in verbally reciting tales and legends. Entirely different from the art of writing down tales in books, it is a story conveyance ability specialized in improvisation, allowing one to also take into account the mood and mentality of the audience to choose an appropriate way of reciting a story. It is likely that Rakugo storytelling Heroic Spirits possess this too.
    A skill that would normally be a rank lesser (similar to her Territory Creation) due to her failings to save herself from execution, however, as she has experienced the dreamlands for centuries now, she has incorporated it's own tales, myths, and storytelling techniques into her repetoire, restoring the original EX rank.

    Honeypot of Survival A: Similar to her Caster form's "Bedchamber of Survival", the combination of the milk and honey constantly flowing from her first noble phantasm will begin to build up and crystalize into walls, roads, forming cities and buildings. In this area, her luck towards avoiding death improves, decreasing probability of extra effects happening and such when directed towards her. Probability is also minorly affected. Her Territory creation bedchamber will be the origin point.

    Noble Phantasm(s):

    Scaphist Ichor: A
    Passive
    Scheherazade alter is stuck to a boat made of a discarded tentacle of her patron's true form, which pours out milk and honey, which mixes together and forms ichor, or the blood of a god. She may dismount it, but can go no further than a few meters, as her hair connects her. While it oozes quickly and constantly, she can control and direct it for attacks as it pours out. The Ichor itself is cursed, and burns through magical energy quite fast, making it rather dangerous to non-foreigner servants, but she herself merely feeds off of it.
    The boat is also able to levitate and move quite quickly, thus being responsible for her C rank in Agility.

    Given in exchange for her eyes.

    Gate of the Lunar Prison: EX
    Anti-army
    As her manifestation requirements are met, she uses this Noble Phantasm to create a portal to exit the Dreamland's moon. Upon the amassment of enough milk/honey/ichor, she will have enough power to open a gate upon the waking Moon's surface, releasing a fountain of it, which will begin the creation of larger structures like skyscrapers in tandem with Honeypot of survival. Eventually, with enough Ichor creations amassed in order to create a sort of city in the sky, Scheherazade will enter her "bedchamber". The milk, honey, and ichor will then all converge around her, surrounding her in a massive wasp-hive shape, before the gate's fountain will increase in pressure, launching her to Earth.

    The Second Deluge: A World of Milk and Honey: EX
    Anti-World
    The Wasp-Hive cluster will destruct upon atmospheric entry, fusing into the atmosphere itself, creating a great cloud of ichor to surround the earth. It will then begin to rain at an incredible pace- filling the land and floating above the waters of the sea, preserving all, "saving" and "protecting" humanity in the mind of a woman poisoned by an Evil Outer God.

    Important Distinction: At any time while the first 2 Noble phantasms are active, destroying Alter will destroy any ichor or gate that is open. However, upon the third, the gate on the moon must be destroyed separately to rid the earth of the ichor-cloud. Energy releases such as Caldabog and Excalibur can be used to do this, or a skilled enough user of true magic (or EXTREMELY high-leveled magecraft) can possibly hijack and close it.

    Relationship with Patron: For the first three days of the Scaphism ritual, Scheherazade had not yet made contact with Mnomquah/The Prisoner- instead, it was her first foray into The Dreamlands, where the amount of mental anguish from her drew attention the of Oorn, wife of Mnomquah, an entity worshipped by the Men of Leng in the North. Seeing an opportunity, a message was sent to her husband who was trapped within the Moon, who then made contact with the tortured woman. While terror was what ruled her mind at first, the desperation Scheherazade felt with her current situation drove her to any possibility to avoid it. And thus, she began to correspond with the captured deity, who as they spoke, she began to see as sort of a kindred spirit- a fellow prisoner who, at least as he told her, "merely wanted to see his love and ensure her safety and prosperity". It was an understandable goal for Scheherazade, one that unfortunately got her foot in the door for her mind to be warped for the goals of her patron. Even the milk and honey which was forced upon her, which she naturally hated initially, was something that became tolerable in her boat-based cocoon. The "Protection" of earth spoken about in her third NP is actually only an idea she grew to accept after trading her eyes- something she originally rejected when pitched after her rescue, but now, she literally shares perspective with him, seeing in the same way he does without his. It's a tinted glasses scenario that heavily skews her thinking, hence agreeing to the machinations.


    Design Notes:
    - Another Fighting Game Servant, the second hidden character alongside Neil Armstrong. She'd be a weird sorta gimmick character due to her trait of completely free-floating movement via the boat, but her actual moves are reasonably standard, with a setplay lean.
    - Mad Props to DelRey for giving me a better patron than Apocolothoth, fuck that thing, I cannot think of it's name without being driven to a seething fury anymore.
    - The form of her familiar is based off of a Bull Wasp! I chose that form, as Bulls and Wasps are very similar to creatures that create milk and honey (Cows and Bees), but ultimately don't themselves. Funny little design thing that I thought was clever, considering her nature as both a Foreigner and an Alter
    - She's my favorite Caster, so when Cursed By Fortuna brought up the concept when I was first discussing my concepts for the FG and grail war tied in with it, I kinda fell in love with the idea- thus, making her the only character added in post. Hope I did a decent enough job!
    - In the war, she's the "Threat to Humanity" Ruler Jalter is tasked with going after. However, they never meet, as she has the misfortune of making contact with Rider Armstrong.
    - If she were to make it to earth, there's a good chance she could be stopped from expanding Enno-Lunn by telling her about audiobooks and Braille- she misses reading THAT MUCH.
    - After multiple centuries of milk and honey, she very much prefers to avoid sweetly-flavored things if she can help it. She doesn't dislike it, she physically and mentally CAN'T, but there is a sense of monotony.
    - Aside from tyrants, she has no ill-will towards humanity, only wishing to keep them safe in the twisted sense of her Patron.
    - The Moon of the Dreamlands is specifically NOT connected to the moon/Moon Cell. The point at which Scheherazade Alter appears is merely within the moon's shadow, before landing on it's surface.
    - No source on the image background, I used Midjourney AI to make it
    - Mnomquah's reason for Alter to activate 2nd Deluge is in order to exploit a loophole in his imprisonment- by expanding his prison in the moon to another dimension, and engulfing a planet, he is effectively free, as his prison has no walls to contain him with. As the Dreamlands are a dimension parallel to our own, doing so on the moon would likely not work. Instead, earth is preserved with honey, a substance that doesn't spoil, and crystalizes over time if left to the elements, creating a sort of firmament, while keeping the inhabitants in a state of suspended, eternal sleep. The Milk then sustains the god while he and Scheherazade Alter gather mana to bring Oorn out of the Dreamlands and into the waking world.
    - With the feedback received, I debated removing, but ultimately decided to keep the ++ modifier on Territory Creation, as representative of how large the scale she's casting it on is. Lowering it was an excellent point though.
    Last edited by Vididii; August 1st, 2022 at 12:48 PM. Reason: Added New Patron Lore, Revised skills

  15. #9395
    Local Extra Class Aficionado DelRey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2020
    Location
    Lost in Ambition
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    2,558
    Blog Entries
    6
    As the foreigner dude i have to comment on this.
    You were creative in making something beautiful and tasty like milk & honey into something eldritch. Thats good stuff.
    But I stand indifferent to the Servant and the God. But why is clear, because it is a simple "I want her to" because its your favorite. So i see past that.
    Still the reason Im not drawn to it as a Foreigner is because there is no clear line that makes me say "of course they are connected".
    You found this torture method, weaved an OG story for her to connect these two concepts, thought what kind of god could fit and just settle on the moon instead - a hella obscure one as you noticed yourself. With that line of thought, anyone who is known to have died like this could be eligible for the god.

    I am so free and suggest another outer god that may be a better fit for the exact same concept: https://lovecraft.fandom.com/wiki/Mnomquah
    A god residing in the moon of the Dreamlands, where stories of our imaginations are true. The god with empty sockets as eyes, it is trapped in the oily black sea it rules over.
    See? moon, stories/dreams, empty eyes, entrapped, black sea/her...stuff. It paints a picture of similarity that grants a reason for why she of all people became a Foreigner.
    Your god is from the 70s? Idk, this one is from 84. Both are too early for my personal pool of Foreigner Gods I use, but its ur game.

    Note: If this was just a fighting game character i stumbled across without a recognizable name for me, I would think thats a hella sick design.
    Behold! The works of a maniac!
    Servants!

    And my other contribution to this community!
    Advanced Formatting Guide
    Free FC Gallery
    Extra Class Comp

    Call me Formatting-sensei.

  16. #9396
    夜属 Nightkin Vididii's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2022
    Location
    The Schwartzwelt
    Age
    20
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    198
    US Friend Code
    724,954,417
    Quote Originally Posted by DelRey View Post
    As the foreigner dude i have to comment on this.
    You were creative in making something beautiful and tasty like milk & honey into something eldritch. Thats good stuff.
    But I stand indifferent to the Servant and the God. But why is clear, because it is a simple "I want her to" because its your favorite. So i see past that.
    Still the reason Im not drawn to it as a Foreigner is because there is no clear line that makes me say "of course they are connected".
    You found this torture method, weaved an OG story for her to connect these two concepts, thought what kind of god could fit and just settle on the moon instead - a hella obscure one as you noticed yourself. With that line of thought, anyone who is known to have died like this could be eligible for the god.

    I am so free and suggest another outer god that may be a better fit for the exact same concept: https://lovecraft.fandom.com/wiki/Mnomquah
    A god residing in the moon of the Dreamlands, where stories of our imaginations are true. The god with empty sockets as eyes, it is trapped in the oily black sea it rules over.
    See? moon, stories/dreams, empty eyes, entrapped, black sea/her...stuff. It paints a picture of similarity that grants a reason for why she of all people became a Foreigner.
    Your god is from the 70s? Idk, this one is from 84. Both are too early for my personal pool of Foreigner Gods I use, but its ur game.

    Note: If this was just a fighting game character i stumbled across without a recognizable name for me, I would think thats a hella sick design.
    Eyy, ty so much for the praise man- I'm gonna revise the sheet with Mnomquah, because fucking christ, you're right on all accounts in the regards toward the choice in patron. That's actually insanely helpful man, tysm

  17. #9397
    夜属 Nightkin Legendary Hero of the Chain's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2019
    Location
    Siltvelt
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    193
    Blog Entries
    1
    So, as to comment on this version before revisions, let's begin!

    Scheherazade Alter: I'm in agreement with Del on the god, but so not to repeat what has already been said, I'll move on to other portions. There is a lot to like in the sheet, like the really cool, step-by-step summoning protocol, and the incredible design of the art. And with the NP's, barring the fact I think the second and third could just be combined together, they all are intriguing and quite fitting of the servant, although can't say if it works for the god you chose, for the same reason you outlined. The only bits or critic I personally think are necessary are for Storyteller and the Territory Creation. Both bear a strong resemblance to the normal form, being basically one to one. I'd personally suggest of the same treatment that created Honeypot of Survival. Neither need to be eliminated, but expanding on the storyteller like happens with Caster after strengthening quests, and perhaps dropping the Territory Creation rank a bit feels appropriate. She did fail where Caster succeeded.

    Either way, I think the sheet is a really nice piece of work overall, and I do look forward to the re-design, since I'm certain it'll be just as good, if not better.

  18. #9398
    夜属 Nightkin Vididii's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2022
    Location
    The Schwartzwelt
    Age
    20
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    198
    US Friend Code
    724,954,417
    Quote Originally Posted by Legendary Hero of the Chain View Post
    So, as to comment on this version before revisions, let's begin!

    Scheherazade Alter: I'm in agreement with Del on the god, but so not to repeat what has already been said, I'll move on to other portions. There is a lot to like in the sheet, like the really cool, step-by-step summoning protocol, and the incredible design of the art. And with the NP's, barring the fact I think the second and third could just be combined together, they all are intriguing and quite fitting of the servant, although can't say if it works for the god you chose, for the same reason you outlined. The only bits or critic I personally think are necessary are for Storyteller and the Territory Creation. Both bear a strong resemblance to the normal form, being basically one to one. I'd personally suggest of the same treatment that created Honeypot of Survival. Neither need to be eliminated, but expanding on the storyteller like happens with Caster after strengthening quests, and perhaps dropping the Territory Creation rank a bit feels appropriate. She did fail where Caster succeeded.

    Either way, I think the sheet is a really nice piece of work overall, and I do look forward to the re-design, since I'm certain it'll be just as good, if not better.
    Eyy, thanks man- definitely get the qualms on skills, you're definitely right on that stuff.

    V2 is up!

    (Also, glad to hear you guys like the design, I was actually real worried it'd be too funky lmao)

  19. #9399
    祖 Ancestor
    Join Date
    Mar 2022
    Location
    Somewhere
    Age
    14
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    1,128
    Blog Entries
    3

    Source: Eva Lopez on Artstation

    Class: Rider
    Other Classes: N/A
    True Name: Berenice II
    Alignment: Lawful Neutral
    Place of Origin: Egypt (200s BCE )

    Parameters:

    STR: D
    END: B
    AGI: C
    MGI: A
    LCK: C
    NP: B

    Height: 185cm
    Weight: 140lbs
    Likes: Stars, salvation for her allies, holding authority
    Dislikes: Not holding authority, eclipses
    Talent: Becoming a Benefactor Goddess
    Natural Enemy: Christopher Columbus
    Attribute: Sky
    Traits: Female, Weak to Enuma Elish, Humanoid
    Armament: Coma Berenices
    Catalyst: A mosaic depicting her

    Class Skills:

    Riding D++: Despite being a rider class servant, she didn't ride many vehicles, resulting in this low rank. However, if she rides a chariot or ship, she gains a rank-up to this skill, allowing her to utilize it to the maximum of its performance, and if she taps into her connection to Cynisca she receives an additional rank-up.

    Magic Resistance A: As an ascended goddess, she receives a fairly high rank in this skill, allowing her to resist most modern magecraft.

    Personal Skills:

    Thea Euergetis B: She was worshipped as a benefactor goddess, granting her this composite skill incorporating Divinity at rank B and the capability to grant her protection to any other being, weakening attacks below rank C. This also constantly extends to her, weakening any attacks below Rank B.

    Godly Connection A: The sublimation of her connecting herself with five beings, allowing her to tap into any one of them, though only one at once: Aphrodite allows her to gain Looks of Loveliness, Isis gives her Passive HP Regen, Io gives her Monstrous strength, making her look more bull-like, Demeter allows her to get Passive Mana Regen, and Cynisca ranks up her Riding skill.

    Rallying Forces B: The sublimation of the incident in which she mounted a horse and rallied the remaining forces after her father was routed, killing many of the opposing forces and forcing the rest to retreat. This manifests in a skill that automatically triggers whenever she is "losing" a battle, triggering a morale boost for all of her allies while increasing their power, and a fear effect for their enemies.

    Noble Phantasm(s):

    To Naftiko
    Ptolomaic Shipwreck

    Type: Anti-Army
    Rank: D+
    Range: 130 Meters
    Max Targets: 100 targets

    The sublimation of a few things: The Ptolomaic navy's supremacy over the waters, the depictions of her wearing a prow-shaped crown and anchor-shaped brooch, and her being revered as a goddess to ward off shipwrecks. This manifests as a copy of a vessel built by her son, Ptolemy IV, the Tessarakonteres. Normally, due to the vessel's impracticality as a battleship and her merely "borrowing" it from her son, this would not be very powerful. However, due to her ability to ward off shipwrecks, she has developed a usage of this that allows her to utilize the ship's ramming attack at full momentum in a way that would normally be a Broken Phantasm. However, as she can ward off shipwrecks, it does not shatter, remaining a proper Noble Phantasm.

    Coma Berenices
    My Starry Hair


    Type: Anti-Unit
    Rank: B
    Range: 30 meters
    Max Targets: 1

    The sublimation of "Berenice's Hair", a constellation created by her sacrificing her long hair as an offering to Aphrodite if Ptolemy III returned safely, which he did. It passively manifests as her hair, which is glowing and fairly long, capable of moving at her will. It is also intensely hot, and can fire beams of light. Upon its true name activation, she once again vows to sacrifice her hair, being able to "assure safety" for one particular being in one particular battle, no matter how unlikely or impossible it is. However, after using this her hair burns away and neither the passive nor active effects remain.

    Lore: Berenice II was the queen of Cyrenaica and queen of Egypt, and the wife of Ptolemy III. She was most noted for the anecdote in which she offered to sacrifice her long hair if Ptolemy III returned home safely, which he did, so she sacrificed it. Then astronomers spotted a constellation in the sky and named it Coma Berenices, believing that Aphrodite had placed her hair in the sky due to her piety.
    After death, she was deified.

    Personality: A fierce warrior, she adores battling. However, she doesn't love showing it, because of her image as a "Benevolent Goddess", so will only let loose in times of disaster. She deeply respects the prior Egyptian pharoahs, and appreciates the work of all of the following ones. Her wish for the Grail is that her son's regent was never Sosibius, for he murdered her and the following queen.

    Relationships:

    Ptolemy III: "I'm glad you've returned safely."

    Ptolemy IV: "My son! How have you been? I hope you do not mind my borrowing your ship."

    Christopher Columbus: "How dare you try to prey upon people's fears of an eclipse? Well, the night shall always be light now."

    Ptolemy I Soter: "Revered ancestor. A pleasure to meet you.... Phew, we're letting down images now. Would you like to spar? I'd love to see your might and compare it."

    Ptolemy I Soter (Servantverse): "What... happened? And what is a 'Serapeum'?"

    Nitocris: "Your flooding was impressive, but I must admit I am confused by those ghosts."

    Iskandar: "Oh great King of Conquerors, a pleasure to meet the revered ancestor who conquered such a large swathe of the world."

    Cleopatra: "You did the best you could, and that best was incredible. Don't be so angry at yourself."

  20. #9400
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Location
    Hitogashima
    Age
    54
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    12,469
    Blog Entries
    1
    Berenice: I love the star-hair NP. Reminds me a little of what I did for Samson where she could channel the heat of the sun's rays through her hair.

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •