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Thread: Create-A-Servant 3

  1. #9441
    Watch me go lower than rock bottom. WhiteFrenzy's Avatar
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    Baudelaire: I wish I could eloquently speak about this Servant as a normal person, but I can only make animalistic sounds and keysmashes how weird...
    But really! I was already sold at the FC, just take your win already will you it's not fair fighting against me using a Lelouch FC. But you just CAN'T go wrong with such a character, and this one was a good read. Welcome back? to the thread, I hope to see more good terrible boys like this in the future!

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  2. #9442
    不死 Undead ThreadNomad's Avatar
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    First servant sheet ever! And also post on this site. Please note that english is not my first language, so feel free to criticize and correct me.



    Servant: Rider

    Alternate Classes: Archer, Berserker

    True name: Koblandy

    Alignment: Chaotic Good

    Place of Origin: Central Asia

    Attribute: Earth

    Armament: Bow, Sword, Lance

    STR: B++
    CON: C
    AGI: B++
    MGI: C
    LCK: B
    NP: A


    Class Skills:

    Magic Resistance: C
    Cancel spells with a chant below two verses.
    Cannot defend against magecraft on the level of greater magecraft and Greater Rituals.


    Riding: A+
    All vehicles and all creatures up to the level of Phantasmal Beast and Divine Beast can be used as mounts.
    However, that does not apply to members of the Dragon Kind.

    Personal Skills:

    Bes Erlig: B
    A skill representing Rider's unique style of combat. Each confirmed hit with one armament makes the next one in line stronger and faster. The strengthening sequence is as follows: Bow > Lance > Sword > Bow. However, it takes hours of continuous fighting to reach the full potential of this skill. And each minute spent out of battle weakens its effects. Also grants an ability of almost instantaneous switch of armaments.

    There were five main weapons of steppes. Bow, Lance, Sword, Mace and Ax. The greatest of warriors are said to be able to utilize them all in one combat. Koblandy himself was famous for his wild and aggressive way of battle. Constantly changing his weapons to maximize his effectiveness in a fight.

    Prayer in Loneliness: A+
    The power to fight against multiple opponents just as effectively as against a single one. Numerical advantage becomes useless against Rider. He can dodge, adapt, and counter every attack aimed at him, as if he was fighting only a single enemy and not a thousand of them.

    A line from his epic:
    “In battle he was akin to a tiger slaughtering a herd of sheeps.
    Forty thousand for him were just forty men.
    Fighting for 6 days straight, never letting a single enemy escape.
    And on the seventh day, defeating all men the city could muster,
    Widowing all wives and orphaning all children.”

    Clairvoyance: B+
    Heightened capacity of observation. Rider is able to identify weak spots of even the smallest target at great distance. By using his sense of smell, nearby sounds, and flow of wind, Rider can track down any adversary within the range of a huge city. Additionally, present and future foresight becomes possible within dreams.


    Noble Phantasms
    Spirit of the High World
    Taiburyl


    Type: Anti-Army
    Rank: A
    Range: 2-50
    Max Targets: 50-150 people

    Taiburyl, Koblandys closest friend, is a tulpar. A creature that can be mistaken for a Pegasus under the right conditions. Unlike Pegasus, Tulpar is born predestined to be a mount of a great hero. Similar to a Maguses Familiar, it is an extension of Rider himself.

    While usually depicted as a winged horse, or a shapeshifting creature, in truth it lacks any physical form. Tulpar is a spirit that ‘possesses’ any mount Koblandy can ride with his riding skill, no difference if it’s a beast or a machine. Horses just happened to be only vehicles back in his days, hence similarities with Pegasus. Every mount Koblandy rides gains immense speed, as fast as 3000 km/h, and an ability to fly.

    Even a mundane bike can become a fiercome steed thanks to this Noble Phantasm, though it is not without its weaknesses. If someone with high enough clairvoyance glances at Taiburyls true form, it will lose all of its power as long as it is seen. Because Taiburyl is a spirit that lacks any physical form, Koblandy might find himself in a bit of trouble if there are no mounts his Tulpar can possess.


    Dowry of Four Clouds
    Kortka-Slu

    Type: Barrier
    Rank: B
    Range: 1-50
    Max Targets: 20 people

    This Noble Phantasm is a gift Koblandy received from his father-in-law. Each cloud protects him from specific types of damage. First cloud snuffs out even the most intense flames and covers from the brightest rays of light before they could reach Rider. Second redirects any wind or cold attack pointed at him. Third halts the momentum of any projectiles and melee weapons aimed at Koblandy, reducing the speed and strength of their attacks by two ranks. Fourth empowers his allies by giving them his Noble Phantasm.

    Those clouds look like a mist surrounding Rider. Automatically protecting him from any danger. However, only one of them can be active at a time. When Koblandy uses his fourth cloud, he gives his Noble Phantasm away. He can give all three clouds to one person, or each cloud to three different people.


    Path of No Return
    Barsakelmes


    Type: Anti-Time
    Rank: EX
    Range: ?
    Max Targets: ?

    When Koblandy was fleeing from his enemies, he stumbled upon an unmapped island in the Aral sea. Deciding to lay low on it, he spent three days there. Upon returning to the mainland, he learned that instead of three days, thirty three years had passed. Later, this mysterious island was named Barsakelmes, a place with no way back.

    This legend manifested as Rider's Noble Phantasm. Barsakelmes as a whole is his "mount" that he cannot fully control. By widely swinging his weapon he can cut through reality, opening a portal to an island he was trapped in. The island itself exists as a separate dimension, randomly accelerating and decelerating its flow of time. Koblandy is fully aware of everything happening in there, and he can even predict when the next time shift is going to occur.

    Rider can use his ability to open portals as an escape or a combat maneuver. When the island's flow of time is accelerated, he can jump through the portal and because the distance covered at Barsakelmes translates to the real world, when he opens the portal back it would look like he just teleported. If the flow of time is decelerated, Rider can retreat back to his island and wait out unwinnable situations. However, if he is not careful he might disappear for several days.

    Main shortcoming of this Noble Phantasm is that Koblandy is the only one who can interact with it. If someone or something else tried to go through the portal, they would pass through it as if there was no portal at all. His other one is that his mana reserves allow only two portals to exist at the same time.



    Lore

    Koblandy is the protagonist of “Qobylandy Batyr'', the national epic of Kazakh people. In the 19th century, the epic was recorded from the words of storytellers and aqyns. There are 29 versions of this epic in poetic form. Of these 26 are about Koblandys feats, while the other three are dedicated to his sons.

    At the foot of mountain Karaspan, from a tribe of Kipchaks, lived an old man Toktarbai. There were no limits to his wealth, and yet he was a generous and unselfish man. Only one grief he held in his life. At the age of 70, he still did not have children of his own. His wife grieved with him, and together they prayed for a child. Then, his 50 year old wife suddenly became pregnant. Shedding tears of happiness at the birth of twins, brother and sister, Toktarbai named them Koblandy and Karlygash.

    Young Koblandy grew fast in mind and body. At 10 he was sent to train with his uncle Estemis. All summer they trained and hunted together. Later, Koblandy participated in a tournament for the hand of a princess, Kortka. By winning the bow competition and slaying a rival giant, he won the princess' hand and love.

    At 18, Koblandy marched to war. Khan Kazan, a cruel warlord who aimed to conquer the world, and his 40 thousand strong army were defeated by Koblandy alone. His ally Karaman, who was sad over missing the entire fight, suggested raiding Kazan’s neighbor, Khan Kobykty. This venture proved to be a failure when Koblandy was ambushed in his sleep and imprisoned. Kobykty immediately sent envoys to Khan Alshagyr, allying himself with him to conquer the homeland of Koblandy.

    Sitting in his prison and lamenting his own greediness, Koblandy was visited by Karlyga, daughter of Khan Kobykty. She offered them an escape from prison, to which Karaman quickly agreed. However, Koblandy refused to trust the words of an enemy to run away like a coward. He wouldn’t move from his spot no matter how much they tried. Using her cunningness, Karlyga started to torture Taiburyl, forcing Kobldany out of prison.

    While they were running away, Kobykty realized what had happened. Shedding tears at his own daughter's betrayal, he immediately started pursuit. Koblandy decided to face him alone, Karlyga told him about a weak spot in her fathers invincible armor. When Kobykty finally confronted them, Koblandy fired from a bow, aiming at a small spot at Kobykty’s armored neck. Finally hitting it from a third try, Kobykty dropped from his horse. With his final words he cursed his daughter and promised that his son will avenge his death.
    After their victory, they headed home with all the loot. Suddenly Koblandy’s horse started limping and then falling. Karaman, now with his army, either didn’t hear or ignored him, left Koblandy behind.

    Cursing himself for not listening to his wife's warnings, and cursing Karaman for his greediness, he went to sleep. Dreams showed his homelands fate, everything sacked and everyone enslaved by invaders. Upon waking up he was met by Karlyga, who escaped the grasp of Karaman. She healed Taiburyl, and for that, Koblandy shed tears of thankfulness. He called her a true friend, and asked her to go back to Karaman and ask for his assistance against invaders.

    Together they reached the city where his tribe was imprisoned. Koblandy dueled Khan Alshagyr, while Karaman and Karlyga battled his champions. Karaman playfully fought with Narkyzyl, and Karlyga crossed spears with giant Kara. After the battle was over and victors were decided, Byrshymbai, son of Kobykty, arrived to take his revenge. Like a lightning he struck all three of them with his spear, dehorsing and wounding them all. Karlyga, fearing that none of them could hope to defeat him even combined, took off her helmet. Byshymbai recognized his own sister, he rushed to help and ask for forgiveness for hurting her. Karlyga took this chance and sliced his throat.

    With the war's end, Karlyga proposed to Koblandy. Disgusted by her actions, he ignored her and instead married Kortka, whom he was engaged to.

    Several years have passed since then. New life emerged from their marriage. Their first son, Byrshymbai, followed in his fathers steps. Training with old warrior Estemis at the age of seven, and leading his own company at fourteen. But times of peace came to an end when Koblandys old enemies came for revenge. Taking him by surprise with their sudden invasion. Half-naked he fought with them, but soon was overwhelmed. Khan Shoshai didn’t want to take his life so dishonorably, he gave him three days to gather his allies and meet him in a duel. Agreeing to these terms, he rode the distance of an arrow and gave a long battle cry. Every one of his friends, no matter how far, heard his scream and soon arrived to assist him.

    Meeting Shoshai and his army, Koblandy prepared to battle him. What he didn’t know is that Karlyga also heard his scream. After years of loneliness, she saw a chance for herself. Following the direction of his cry, she found Koblandy fighting Shoshai. Like a lightning she closed distance with him and pierced his side with a spear. Fatally wounded, Koblandy fell from Taiburyl and was saved only thanks to his son and Estemis.

    Barely alive, he instructed his son Byrshymbai to defeat Shoshai in his stead. After Byrshymbai managed to defeat Khan Shoshai in a duel and repel his army, his father still could not fully recover from his wound. To put Koblandy on his legs, Kortka told her son to bring Karlyga to him unharmed.

    Finding the yurt Karlyga isolated herself in, Byrshymbai told her what to his father. Not waiting for her answer, he rode back to his home. Karlyga soon followed.

    Life glistened in Koblandys eyes at the mention of Karlyga. Kortka led her to the house where Koblandy still lays. At the sight of Koblandy, corners of her eyes started to glisten with blue. Koblandy only smiled at her tears, and offered Karlyga to join their lives.

    Great feast followed their wedding. After the celebrations were over, Karaman, Koblandy and Karlyga gathered in a big yurt. Karaman told them, as the tradition goes, they must tell each other their true feelings. Karlyga started first. She fell in love with him for his noble heart, she sacrificed everything she had, she saved his life several times and yet he betrayed her trust and married another. Koblandy listened to her, and when his time to speak came, he told her:

    ”You told good, Karlyga, and yet, you did not mention your own mistakes. Your father, Kobykty, laid down a strong country. With honorable warriors and impenetrable cities. He was father to his people, and they idolized and loved him. Who was the Kipchak Koblandy to you, that you killed your own father for him? Where did you hear that an enemy turned out to be closer to someone than their own father?

    I won’t deny it, you were my equal. And I always knew it. But who would trust a girl who killed her father? How could I rely on your loyalty after you treated your father and brother so harshly, ruthlessly?

    I was attracted to you, but disturbed by your cruelty. It was like fetters on my feet, and I could not reach you in any way. And if we finally found each other, then let our life henceforth be sanctified by the most noble human qualities. You poured out your soul, I found something to answer. I can no longer reproach you, dear Karlyga!”.

    Karlyga, sobbing, fell at the feet of Koblandy. He silently embraced her, and kissed her on tear-stained eyes.

    At the foot of the mountain Karaspan, near the lake Kozdikol, two yurts of two Koblandys wifes were placed side by side. The friendly life of the inhabitants of the yurts, they say, has become an example for the steppes of many generations. Karlyga gave birth to his son Kiikbay. Thanks to two sons, Bokenbai and Kiikbai, Koblandy ensured a peaceful life for his people and remained forever in folk legends.



    Personality
    Likes: Family, Parties
    Dislikes: Kinslayers, Time shenanigans
    Talent: Partying
    Natural Enemy: Medea

    Bold, dashing and caring, Rider’s image more befits a stereotypical knight than a warrior of the steppes. He is the man that is easy to like and make friends with thanks to his cheerful attitude. Anyone he bonded with he considers a family, and there is nothing more sacred in the world to Rider than ties of family. He will go through everything to protect them, forgive their misdeeds, and turn blind eye to their flaws.

    Though Rider possesses a great wisdom, it is buried under layers of deep-rooted childishness. He doesn’t consider many things overly seriously, only preferring making games of them and laughing along. For him, battle is just an honorable sparring. Rider will commend his enemies’ skill, show displeasure to their dirty tricks, and even give them another chance to fight if they lose. However, if anyone threatens people he cares for, Rider goes through an almost disturbing change of personality. Becoming cold and much more vicious in his attacks, willing to use every ruthless tactic he can.

    Rider absolutely loves feasts and everything of similar nature. At holidays and parties, he goes beyondб in a hurry to try all possible entertainments. He usually passes out shortly after. Rider's wish for the grail is to die by his wives’ sides, which he was unable to do because of time travel.

    Relationships:

    Altera: “Attila the Great! She’s just like the stories my mother used to tell me. How she came from the stars and crushed those romans with her rainbow sword!”

    Dobrynya: “S-sister?”

    Medea: “Her legend reminds me too much of my own wife. Maybe if I marry her, she will stop being so sad all the time?”

    Mandricardo: “Soo, from which tribe are you? Kerei, Naiman or…maybe we are from the same tribe!?”

    Tamerlane: “I know it was you who drove me into that island. Know this, if I have the chance, I will break your second knee.”


    Author's Notes
    It's finally done! After month of writing I have done my first sheet. I am still not satisfied with Koblandy's Noble Phantasms. Originally in his legend, Kortka-Slu's third cloud was supposed to give clairvoyance over his enemies, but Koblandy had a legend about invincibility to projectiles and swords. So I combined two legends into one NP. Ability I gave it feels kind of unoriginal. Should I change it back to clairvoyance? As for his other NP, Barsakelmes was a pain in the ass to properly adapt. I had 5 different versions of it, but they all were either OP or grossly impractical. Do any of you have better ideas for his time travel NP?

    Another thing I learned is that Koblandy has barely any info about him on the english internet. I had to write a short version of his epic for you guys to know about his backstory. Sorry if it's hard to read, I tried.

    Funny coincidence. Attila's father in my people's legends is called Zhuldyz, which means Star. So Altera is literally a child of Stars lol.

  3. #9443
    祖 Ancestor
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    This a great debut dude. It's good to see more central Asian rep. Also, are you hinting at tamerlane as your next servant.

  4. #9444
    夜魔 Nightmare Vance's Avatar
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    "Servant…s? Assassin. Hansel…"

    "...And Gretel!"

    "...Are here to serve!"

    True Name: Hansel and Gretel
    Class: Assassin
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Source: Fairy Tales
    Region: N/A

    Parameters:
    Strength: E
    Endurance: C
    Agility: D
    Mana: E
    Luck: A

    Class Skills:

    Presence Concealment C
    The capacity to conceal one's presence as a Servant. Hides one's presence as a Servant. Suitable for spying. The rank of Presence Concealment drops considerably when preparing to attack.

    Personal Skills:

    Breadcrumb Trail B
    A skill born from an anecdote from their story. Once they had been abandoned in the woods, but Hansel had been prepared and gathered stones to make a trail home. Then again, they were abandoned and Hansel was forced to use breadcrumbs but they were eaten. Manifests as a momentary trail that either Hansel or Gretel can leave on the ground, ensuring they would never get lost.

    Combination B
    A Skill that displays how much one's combat power increases when on a united front with a specific person. The symbol of a bond between siblings. Sight isn't generally needed when grasping one another's actions, they can manage just fine on their other senses.

    Be He Fat or Lean A
    A skill taken from an anecdote of their story. After weeks of being tricked about fattening up Hansel due to her poor eyesight, the witch decided to eat Hansel no matter his state. A disguising of weakness; a feint in other words. They are able to create vulnerabilities by feigning vulnerability. This skill lies solely Hansel's use, not due to it being exclusive to him and him alone but rather he would prefer that it be him to create the vulnerability while Gretel acts upon it.

    Noble Phantasm

    Hexenofen: The Baker Witch's Oven
    Rank: B
    Type: Anti-Unit

    The noble phantasm of Hansel and Gretel. An oven that once belonged to the man-eating witch who lived in Gingerbread House. Compared to a certain oven held by another witch, this oven is a more genuine article, imbued with the lingering essence of the Witch who was sacrificed to it instead of Gretel. This particular trait allows it to function as a medium of realizing Witchcraft as well as providing magical confection constructs without having to sacrifice others.

    Notably, Gretel makes more proficient use of the oven than Hansel by stint of being the one that had to familiarize herself with the working of the Gingerbread House while slaving under the Witch.


    Personality

    Hansel and Gretel both display themselves as a pair of amiable, if a bit rustic, children. They can keep pace with each other astonishingly well, and oftentimes, as a prank, take advantage of their physical similarities to trick others into misidentifying them. Despite this, both have key tells.

    First one, their first introduction is always the truth and any later attempts at reintroduction are tricks. Hansel is more outwardly stoic and internally emotive while the reverse is for Gretel. Hansel is the one that seems more active as a result of being in a cage. Gretel lies about more to take advantage of any time she spends not working.

    One should note that despite the children's relative friendliness to their master, they do not trust easily especially if the master is an adult. Being left behind is another point of contention to them.

  5. #9445
    不死 Undead ThreadNomad's Avatar
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    Thanks dude. Just a legend that Koblandy was the one that broke his knee. But eh, almost every neighbouring country has same story. I am thinking of doing another central asian epic hero. Like Ural (there is actually info about him, so go check it if you want to) and Alpamysh. Maybe I will do a Holy Roman Emperor.

  6. #9446
    Local Extra Class Aficionado DelRey's Avatar
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    koblandy is an interesting epic character and you did a fine job showing it in his skills.
    Hänsel and Gretel are cool interpretations of the story. Good thing you did not take a page out of the hollywood movie's book.
    Behold! The works of a maniac!
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  7. #9447
    超高校級のゲーマーガール Anju Addams's Avatar
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    Wow, uh...I've not been on here for a while huh? Just thought I would pop by and let you know I'm not dead or anything - because I know some of you (Koga) like to know what's happening. That aside, I'm still working on Servant Sheets and stuff. I've sorta permanently moved back to Spacebattles and won't be around here anymore pretty much. So if you need me, I'm over on there now.
    Regardless, I will still post any completed Sheets here too so I'll randomly pop up now and again.
    Hope you are all doing well. Hello to any new people as well.
    Pronouns - She/Her
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  8. #9448
    Local Extra Class Aficionado DelRey's Avatar
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    What does spacebattles have that we dont?
    But glad youre okay. Have fun over there
    Behold! The works of a maniac!
    Servants!

    And my other contribution to this community!
    Advanced Formatting Guide
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    Call me Formatting-sensei.

  9. #9449
    超高校級のゲーマーガール Anju Addams's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DelRey View Post
    What does spacebattles have that we dont?
    But glad youre okay. Have fun over there
    It has an actual alert system that updates when people reply and post on threads and I don't have to wade through ten pages to get anywhere. That aside, it also moves a bit slower compared to on here. It's just much easier to navigate. Anyway, thanks.
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  10. #9450
    不死 Undead ThreadNomad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DelRey View Post
    koblandy is an interesting epic character and you did a fine job showing it in his skills.
    Thanks. Tried to make him as accurate to his 26 legend iterations as possible. I even had to go to a library to get stuff internet didn't have.

  11. #9451
    地獄の海軍大提督 Kamera's Avatar
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    By the Eternal Blue Sky, thus shall I proclaim:
    Our horses shall make the earth below tremble!
    Our arrows shall make the heaven above collapse!


    My sons, my brethrens!
    Let us set forth towards the path of conquest!
    We shall have lordship over the four corners of the world!





    Such was it said, the heroic tale of our revered ancestor, Oghuz Khagan.
    He started talking right as soon as he was born, becoming a full-grown warrior after just 40 days.
    In his youth, he went on to slay the Armored Dragon Kiyant, and gained the loyalty of his people.
    When he became old enough to become a khan, he deposed his wicked and incompetent father.
    He then unified the tribes of the Steppes, and set forth to conquer the Four Corners of the World.



    Oghuz married two powerful Elemental Spirits. The first was a Heavenly Fairy born of sunlight, who bears him Gun (Sun), Ay (Moon) and Yildiz (Stars). The second was an Earthly Fairy born of a sacred tree, who gave birth to Gok (Sky), Dag (Mountain), and Deniz (Sea).

    It is said that from these six sons came the Twenty Four Oghuz Clans, from which all Turkic people can trace their lineage back, bearing their own Sky Crest (Tamgha) and Guardian Spirits (Ongon).



    Although a largely mythological figure, Oghuz Khagan is often associated with the historical figure known in the Chinese records as Modu Chanyu, the founder of the Xiongnu Empire who managed to subjugate the Han dynasty following the death of Qin Shi Huang.

    Having unified the various nomadic tribes of Mongolia, he formed a powerful military confederation that rapidly expanded the Xiongnu territory to all directions. The legend of Oghuz Khagan represents the elements of fantasy and belief which have embedded itself into the historical Modu Chanyu, reinforced by the stories and reputations of various “Great Conquerors from the Asian Steppes” throughout history.



    We have seen countless wars, we have crossed so many borders.
    Our spears have become forest, our arrows have become rain.
    The horses we ride have trampled every corner of the world.
    We have cursed our enemies with unfathomable suffering.
    We have blessed our friends with boundless prosperity.
    With the sun as our banner, and the sky as our tent.
    We have grasped the true meaning of Freedom.



    Class: Berserker
    Alternate Classes: Rider, Archer
    True Name: Oghuz Khagan
    Gender: Male
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Origin: Turkic Folklore, The Oğuzname
    Attribute: Earth

    The legendary Khan and revered ancestor of the Turkic people. An almighty warrior, fearless hero, and ruthless warlord, he is said to have created a legacy of conquest that would be inherited by the various nomadic tribes of Inner Asia, building the steppe empires dominating much of the Eurasian continent; such as the Huns, the Gokturks, the Mongols, the Seljuks and the Ottomans.

    The legend of Oghuz Khagan echoes the achievements and deeds of those descendants.

    Parameters:
    STR: A+
    END: A
    AGI: A+
    MGI: C
    LCK: B
    NP: A

    Class Skills:
    Mad Enhancement: A+
    As a Berserker, the divine blood of the Gray Wolf within him stirs, and it resonates with the effects of Mad Enhancement. As a result, while his mental capability is deprived, his feral instinct and beastly perception are greatly sharpened, along with the usual rank-up to his parameters.

    Additionally, thanks to certain curses and blessings Berserker received from the Tengri, the effects of his Mad Enhancement may wane or wax on certain conditions, such as the phases of the moon, and being in a nomadic or sedentary situation.

    Personal Skills:
    Howl of the Gray Wolf: B+
    The steppe nomads believe that the divine Gray Wolf is the Avatar of Tengri, and they can obtain something akin to the Authority of the Sky by unleashing a mighty battlecry that can shake the very heavens. For a period, it allows Berserker to interfere with the heavenly phenomenons within the range of which his howl can be heard. More directly, this howl also inflicts a primordial terror into the hearts of enemies, but rouses an effect akin to Charisma to allies.

    A Skill that Berserker receives in place of Imperial Privilege, which he would otherwise have in other Classes. This is due to him having been transformed into an existence closer to a Divine Beast, the Gray Wolf, than a proper Heroic Spirit.

    Gravitas of Starborn and Earthkin: EX
    The protection and blessing received from his two wives; the passionate affection from the Elemental of Sunlight, and the nurturing embrace from the Elemental of the Forest. These two Elementals are actually identical Divided Spirits who once were part of the same entity; the Sun and Fertility Goddess of Turkic mythology, Umay.

    A composite skill which consisted of Protection of the Spirits and the Affection of the Goddess, this skill denotes Berserker as a mighty star that naturally attracts and binds the Elementals of the Planet, with the side effect of granting him with a power akin to gravity manipulation, as if the Heaven and Earth obeys his will.

    Crest of the Eternal Blue Sky: A
    The Unified Crest that would be divided and inherited by the Twenty Four Oghuz Clans as their symbol and banner (Tamga). it is the acknowledgement that Berserker's lineage are destined to enforce the will of the Eternal Blue Sky upon Earth, with the Sun as their banner, and the Heavens as their tent.

    It is an extraordinary Magic Crest, somewhat similar to a Primordial Rune of the Norse gods. Activated by shooting an arrow engraved with magecraft into a specific point in the sky, it allows Berserker to access various blessings of might and wisdom from Tengri himself. Like the Primordial Rune, it has vast range of effects, but due to his class, it is impossible for Berserker to utilize its full potential.

    Noble Phantasms:
    Üçoklar Yer Su
    Terrestrial Silver Arrows, Pierce the Heaven
    Type: Anti-Army
    Rank: B+
    The Arrow of the Winds, the Arrow of the Mountains, and the Arrow of the Sea.
    A set of Divine Constructs forged by the Elementals of the Sky and Earth, containing the Divine Authorities of the Sky God Tengri and the Sun Goddess Umay. These are the weapons Oghuz wielded to slay the Dragon Kiyant and ultimately conquer the Four Corners of the World. It is the very symbol of Berserker’s proud lineage and glorious legacy, as inherited by the Turkic people that has spread wide across the Eurasian continent.

    This Noble Phantasm is composed of two main set of Armaments. This is the first one, the three Silver Arrows (Üçok) imbued with the Spirits of the Wind, the Mountains, and the Sea. These Silver Arrows are large enough to be wielded as lances. In addition, the Arrow of the Wind can be transformed into a Tulpar horse, the Arrow of the Mountain can be reforged into an armor, and the Arrow of the Sea can be reshaped into a ship. They also deal bonus damage against Sky-attributed entities.

    Bozoklar Gök Kal
    Celestial Golden Bow, Conquer the Stars
    Type: Anti-World
    Rank: EX
    The Strings of the Sun, the Blades of the Moon, and the Bullets of the Stars.
    The second and more powerful armament is the Golden Bow (Bozok), etched with the conceptual power of the Sun, the Moon, and the Stars. This weapon can also be separated into two giant blades. It can also shoot rays of sunlight that can burn an army. They are inversely specilized against those of Earth-attribute

    The true power of this Noble Phantasm comes with its True Name Release, where the Terrestrial Silver Arrows are simultaneously drawn with the Celestial Golden Bow. When activated, it evokes the imagery of the crescent moon shooting the very stars as arrows, as if the very firmaments are collapsing, revealing the Eternal Blue Sky behind it.


    - - - Updated - - -

    thread theme

    Last edited by Kamera; August 13th, 2022 at 11:54 PM.

  12. #9452
    Local Extra Class Aficionado DelRey's Avatar
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    excellent and epic.
    Behold! The works of a maniac!
    Servants!

    And my other contribution to this community!
    Advanced Formatting Guide
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    Call me Formatting-sensei.

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    不死 Undead ThreadNomad's Avatar
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    Awesome sheet. I feel represented.

  14. #9454
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Oghuz: Pretty badass sheet. I love the imagery in his second NP. I'm not sure why you gave him EX-rank Mad Enhancement though since that appears to denote the lucid-type where the Servant can still think and speak normally while having a deeper madness whereas he appears to be the more usual non-verbal "roar and rampage" Berserker. Just keeping his instincts shouldn't be enough for that since Herc still had his EOTM (False) as a Berserker. I'd think just A (or A- given the conditions attached) would suffice for him.

  15. #9455
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Archer of the Covenant:

    Appearance:


    True Name
    : Caleb

    Alignment
    : Lawful Good

    Alternate Class
    : Berserker

    Strength- B
    Agility- C
    Endurance- A
    Mana- C
    Luck- B
    NP- B

    Personality
    A zealous man whose fired up by passion for the Lord. He is bold in battle fully expecting God to grant him victory over his foes. Archer is contemptuous of those who'd retreat or show cowardice saying their ideals must be weak if they'd indulge in such disgraceful behavior. He's prone to boast but that is not out of arrogance, rather it is his commitment to God expressed by showing off all the amazing feats one can accomplish by having faith in Him. Archer is affectionate to dogs and dislikes their poor reputation amongst his people.

    Likes: the Lord, dogs, Joshua
    Dislikes: cowardice, Giants, ungodly people
    Talents: wholehearted faith, seizing strongholds
    Natural Enemy: Goliath


    Class Skills:


    Independent Action- B

    The ability to sustain oneself in existence without a supply of magical energy from one's Master. At this rank Archer can linger in the World for two days in the absence of an active contract, and survive for a short time after sustaining extensive damage to his Spiritual Core. As one of the Twelve Spies sent to the land of Canaan to scout out the habitability of the region Archer possesses a high knack for surviving in enemy territory without the backup of his Master.

    Magic Resistance- B
    Confers protection against magical effects. At this rank spells with a chant below three verses are nullified. Even if targeted by Magecraft at the level of High Thaumaturgy or Greater Rituals it is difficult for the Servant to be affected. A high resistance stemming from Archer's resolute faith in God, such that he was one of only two of the Twelve Spies who committed to going ahead with the conquest of Canaan, fully trusting that God would deliver them the land in spite of the overwhelming obstacles.


    Personal Skills:

    Crest Of The Canine- A
    A peculiar pattern imprinted on Archer's flesh that comes from his Pagan tribe the Kenizzites, who revered the dog as a totemic idol and inked its image on their bodies for spiritual protection. By circulating Mana through that crest Archer can activate the inherent mystery woven within to channel the strength and viciousness of his patron animal, selectively enhancing parts of his body in return for ascribing them more canine features such as sharp teeth, greater hairiness and claw-like fingernails.

    While Archer can apply this Skill to strengthen his entire body at once that burdens him with rank C Mad Enhancement, regressing his mind to the level of a wild beast until battle concludes akin to the Berserkergang underwent by Viking warriors who also evoked totemic animals. He favors enhancing only his voice to let out a resounding howl that scatters foes in panic, which is how he drove off the giants that cornered his men in Canaan. Furthermore parts enhanced by this Skill gain the effect of tearing away a portion of the opponent's health with every strike to restore Archer's own that comes from the symbolism of dogs as scavengers devouring the fallen.

    Archer dislikes relying on this Skill since it reminds of his Pagan ancestry, though he will still use it when necessary. After all the Lord forgives any means that accomplish His will, at least so Archer himself believes.

    Divine Protection- B+
    A form of divine protection that gives the user the quick-wittedness and brute strength needed to defeat giants unaided. Having more than anyone remembered the Lord's promise and lived to participate in the conquest of Canaan at 85 years old, still retaining the same vigor as in his youth Archer is definitely a man protected by God. In his case the benefits conferred by this Skill are ranking up his Endurance parameter, repelling disruption to the mind and body and a damage boost against Giant-type enemies.

    Reconnaissance- B
    A Skill similar yet differing from Subversive Activities. Instead of preemptively eliminating enemy forces, this Skill is more suited for sneaking in and out of dangerous territory, and gathering information on enemy forces, terrain, and other activities. Having embarked on an expedition to Canaan to assess its viability as a new homeland for the Jews Archer spent forty days in hostile territory familiarizing himself with the lay of the land and its people, the savage race of giants known as Anakites. While he was accompanied by eleven peers as all but one other balked in fear at the prospect of taking the land, only Archer and Joshua are worthy of qualifying as Heroic Spirits and possessing this Skill.


    Noble Phantasm
    Beriyth Kəná'an
    Oathsworn Bow Of Fecundity


    Rank: B

    Type: Anti-Unit/Anti-Territory

    A Noble Phantasm crystallizing God's promise to the Jewish people to conquer the Promised Land of Canaan. A man wholeheartedly devoted to God who served to carry forth that promise when many of his peers would've abandoned it Archer is fit to wield the covenant taking the form of a shimmering, ethereal greatbow strewn with prayers to YHWH in Hebraic and divine script. The ends of the bow are also twined in grapevines that drip honey. Instead of ordinary arrows it looses javelin-sized bolts of light, manifestations of His sanction fit to pierce the hardened hides of the monstrous giants that dwelt in Canaan.

    Following invocation of this Noble Phantasm's true name the next arrow from Archer's bow carries the concept of "Canaan" that has different effects depending on whether it hits a living target or a territory. Should the arrow embed in the ground it emits a Mana-pulse that hijacks all local leylines, claiming the land for 20 meters around as "Canaan". True to the region's title as the "Land of Milk and Honey" told in the Bible the terrain spanned by this Noble Phantasm bursts forth with fecundity, sprouting bountiful produce that restores one's health and magical energy when ingested. However this is only an offshoot of the true effect, recreating a pocket of the Age of Gods wherever Archer's arrow lands.

    Ordinary humans and Servants from the Age of Man suffer symptoms ranging from weakness and dizziness to suffocation from the immense saturation of Mana in the air, while Age of Gods heroes such as Archer are empowered with a rank-up to all parameters there (Archer himself gains an additional rank-up by way of territorial advantage). Furthermore Archer may freely grant the blessing of YHWH to others such as his Master and allies enabling them to traverse the region unmolested. These pocket Age of Gods' last for roughly half a day before fading.

    Upon instead piercing an opponent, this Noble Phantasm's effects are far more violent and terrorizing. The concept "
    Canaan
    Land of Milk and Honey
    " is forced on their body directly, lush vegetation erupting from their flesh as honey flows from every one of the target's orifices; incurring a rapid and gruesome death that bypasses most forms of defense. The aftermath of this attack leaves the victim's body consumed in a twining
    coffin
    column
    of plantlife covered in flowers and honey, a beautiful monument evincing little of their brutal demise. Simultaneously declaring God's promise to deliver Canaan unto the Israelites and their annihilation of the giants that previously inhabited the region, a promise of prosperity from the Lord that's tantamount to merciless calamity upon Archer's foes.





    So here's a new sheet from me. Thanks to BnEl for coming up with the Reconnaissance Skill since I felt ordinary Subversive Activities wasn't quite fitting. As usual comments and critiques would be welcome. Thanks for reading y'all!

  16. #9456
    祖 Ancestor
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    W Kamera for using best boy as an FC.

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    Oghuz: I love those two Nps but am confused by his Madness Enhancement

    Caleb: I love that NP! It’s beautiful and a bit scary and the skills all fit well.

  18. #9458
    夜魔 Nightmare Legendary Hero of the Chain's Avatar
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    Charles Baudelaire: I'm going to be hones, I started off baffled with the idea, and ended loving it. Throughout the sheet you really encapsulate the man and truly make it so he truly fits the class. His three phantasms are all amazing, and the later two are just brilliant. Honestly, the only thing I'd say is that the very description of Tableaux Parisiens make it sound like it would better be catogorised as anti-treasure than anti-unit. Regardless, wonderfully done.

    Koblandy: Well, I have to say this is amazing work, first sheet here or not. You did an amazing job taking a legend with so many interpretations and narrowing it down to a single timeline. Both the skills feel extremely appropriate, especially with the lore given, and each of the NP's is nice and unique in their own way. It might just because I had the idea of him pulling a Lancelot, stealing a modern machine(in this case a train) and wrecking havok, but my favourite of the phantasms is the steed, since a spirit that empowers anything into his NP is a nice way of doing it, even if it reminds of Knight of Owner. As for the time NP, it is actually really interesting, and I thing, well executed. I'm just interested in how it impacts his mana consumption from his master? Overall, nice job, and can't wait to see what you do next.

    Oghuz Khagan: If this isn't one of the mist fitting FC's for a sheet I have ever seen, I'll eat my hat. This sheet is a monster, in the best way possible. Every parameter is fitting of the legend you're using, and each of the personal skills is really interesting. Both the NP's work amazingly, and considering the breadth of power, having the arrows listed separately from the bow makes sense. Honestly, the only problem I see is the ME, as I agree with Royd. The description given make it sound more like A- or A+, depending on if you mean the strengthening parts of ME wane and wax with the moon, or if the sanity depriving aspect does. Other than that, another amazing job from ya. Nicely done. ELDEN RING, ELDEN RING, ELDEN RING Starscourge Radahn is without my second favourite boss from the game, so without a doubt, the fact he's the FC just makes me like it even more. I already liked it, but he's like the cherry on top of a wonderful desert.

    Caleb: Ah yes, one of the two guys out of the ENTIRE OF ISRAEL that was allowed to enter the promised lands that wasn't a literal child when everything went down. Honestly, I'm surprised his Independent Action isn't higher from that, although using it for the Divine Protection makes sense to. Overall, everything gels amazingly, and using the nature of his entrance into Canaan, and the biblical descriptions of the land to form the NP is a interesting way of doing it. I want to ask why you chose Archer, but looking into a few things, it makes the most sense I suppose. Overall, nice work Royd.
    Gaze upon the Throne of Heroes!(Servant Compendium)

  19. #9459
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Legendary Hero of the Chain View Post
    Caleb: Ah yes, one of the two guys out of the ENTIRE OF ISRAEL that was allowed to enter the promised lands that wasn't a literal child when everything went down. Honestly, I'm surprised his Independent Action isn't higher from that, although using it for the Divine Protection makes sense to. Overall, everything gels amazingly, and using the nature of his entrance into Canaan, and the biblical descriptions of the land to form the NP is a interesting way of doing it. I want to ask why you chose Archer, but looking into a few things, it makes the most sense I suppose. Overall, nice work Royd.
    For IA I mainly felt that Joshua would merit an A-rank and didn't want Caleb to have one quite as high. And him being an Archer is mainly because there isn't any obvious Class to fit him in (Berserker is also a bit of a stretch, mainly coming from his name being sometimes translated as "Raging with canine madness" and his insistence on taking Canaan despite the overwhelming odds being interpreted as a kind of insanity to outsiders), his role as a scout that synergizes with the Archer Class' Skill of Independent Action and the equalization of "Bow" and "Covenant" that originates from the first covenant God made to His people the Rainbow Covenant (yeah, this one is majorly tenuous. I even considered tying in his NP to the Rainbow Covenant somehow, especially since the inhabitants of Canaan are identified with giants that survived the Great Flood, but that turned out way too iffy even by my standards).

    Incidentally in the Berserker Class I imagine his NP would work by converting the ground beneath his feet to "Canaan", true to God's promise that "Every place that the sole of your foot will tread upon I have given to you, just as I promised to Moses." While looking up that quote just now (so not anything that went into crafting this sheet) I also happened to read that the Hebrew word for tread "Darak" can also mean "string a bow" so... another justification for him as Archer? Getting a bit esoteric though.

  20. #9460
    Cruciforme NailsInYourFeet's Avatar
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    Assassin of Sorrows - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

    Where my previous two Servants were the bad boy type, this one's more 'good boy haunted by his dark past'. CW: Repeated mentions of suicide, though possibly ahistorical ones
    Assassin of Sorrows




    (Artist: Pon de Yomisen)

    True Name: Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
    Alternate Classes: Caster, possibly Saber and Rider
    Source: History
    Region: Germany
    Catalyst: A collection of premaxilla bones, or "Goethe's bones", gathered from many animals

    Personality: Goethe prides himself as a logical thinker equally dedicated to the arts and sciences, and believes in keeping a reasonably optimistic view of humanity and its progress. But he wasn't always like this...

    Goethe was formerly the lead writer of the dark and troubled Sturm und Drang artistic movement, from which Romanticism sprang. However, he since heavily regretted and distanced himself from the movement, now treating it a similar way to how a rehabilitated addict would treat their old vices.
    The scandal and controversy around his bestselling novel The Sorrows of Young Werther was a likely cause for this, if not the cause. Yet it seems wherever he goes, that book follows, as it was a book so personal to him at the time, and to others at the same time in their lives, that he can't bring himself to put it behind him.

    Still, he definitely prefers to be remembered for Faust, with its message of ultimate forgiveness and salvation making for a better legacy to him than Werther's cynicism. He also wouldn't mind Theory of Colours getting a bit more attention.

    Alignment: Lawful Neutral
    Likes: Classicism, writing, optics, geology
    Dislikes: His older work, Romanticism, his part in Romanticism, organised religion, hatred born through nationalism
    Wish: He has been tempted to use the Grail to retroactively erase his involvement with the Sturm und Drang movement, but has to acknowledge how much of a waste that'd be of such a power. In general, a man as devoted to reason as him can only be suspicious of the Grail, especially as he has personal experience with too-good-to-be-true deals.
    Natural Enemy: His past self.
    Attribute: Star.


    Parameters

    Strength: *****
    Endurance: *****
    Agility: *****
    Mana: *****
    Luck: *****
    Noble Phantasm: *****

    << Skills >>
    Class Skills

    Presence Concealment (Author)

    Capacity to hide one's presence as a Servant.
    - Rank C: Goethe's ability to conceal himself would normally be too low for an Assassin, given his sheer fame in his lifetime. However, his status as an author combined with the Assassin class container has manifested an unique version of this Skill. Rather than hiding or disguising himself, Assassin can place himself outside the Grail War's causality of events, in other words outside the 'plot' or 'fourth wall', making Masters and other Servants unable to notice him as characters wouldn't notice their author. Concealment drops considerably when preparing to attack, or 'inserting himself into events'.


    Personal Skills

    Appreciation of the Arts

    Infatuation with artwork.
    - Rank B: If one happens to see a Noble Phantasm that possess artistic anecdotes, there is a high chance Assassin will be able to figure out its true name.

    Collector (Jewels)

    Accumulation of a high quantity of objects, paired with a keen enough eye to find high quality objects.
    - Rank B: Goethe in his day was the world record holder for the largest private collection of minerals and rock samples. These would be of more help to him (and may even qualify as a NP) were he summoned as Caster, but even as Assassin they more than provide him with a Rank-Up to his Mana supply. Rank B as no uniquely notable gems (e.g. the Hope Diamond) seem to be in his collection.

    Inherent Wisdom

    Unparalleled natural knowledge that allows the use of learnable Skills.
    - Rank A: While most known as a playwright, Goethe's expertise also covered poetry, prose, non-fiction, optics, colour theory, geology, biology, botany, politics, pre-modern travel, city planning, fencing, riding, even dancing.

    Trendsetter

    The ability to inspire mimicry in others; what the servant does, others copy.
    - Rank B: Goethe spearheaded not one but two literary movements, Sturm und Drang (and by extension Romanticism) and Weimar Classicalism, his documented sojourns in Italy also inspired a travel craze and, to his utmost regret, his book The Sorrows of Young Werther not only influenced fashions and behaviours, but allegedly inspired an onslaught of copycat suicides.
    Upon encountering Assassin, a Mental Resistance Skill and/or check for a Servant to not be tempted to mimic his own actions and mannerisms.


    << Noble Phantasms >>
    Noble Phantasms

    Die Leiden des Jungen Werthers
    Kill the Character to Save the Author

    Rank: C
    Type: Support

    The book that became one of Assassin's most loved creations, well to everyone except himself. While it was a highly personal work at the time, his retroactive shame in leading the Sturm und Drang movement combined with the book's legacy becoming forever entangled with copycat suicides means he struggles to look upon this Phantasm with anything but disdain.

    Writing down the character Werther's suicide due to unrequited love gave Goethe the emotional release to avoid doing so himself in real life. This Noble Phantasm therefore allows Assassin to conjure forth a Wraith through writing, a Wraith has only limited combat skill, yet like a migawari or reverse voodoo doll, can absorb any damage, physical, magical, or mental interference, that would otherwise be taken by Assassin. The Wraith's Endurance is equal to Assassin's own.

    Due to how personally readers felt over the book, which even Goethe had to acknowledge, Assassin can also extend this NP to create Wraiths that can absorb the damage of those close to him. This additional use may be the only reason Assassin can still bring himself to use this NP, other than its practicality in a Grail War.


    Die Effekt des Jungen Werthers
    A Vengeful Pelican

    Rank: B
    Type: Anti-Army

    While Sorrows of Young Werther may have emotionally saved the life of Goethe and many of his readers, the book has also notoriously become linked in the public imagination with copycat suicides and suicide contagion, those inspired by fiction in particular. As debatably true as the original Werther suicide craze actually is, its possibility was a genuine concern at the time, leading to the book and even Werther-like clothing becoming banned in cities and countries. This dark legend has stained the book since, becoming Goethe's qualifier for the Assassin class, though all of this was accidental.

    Whenever a Wraith created by Assassin is killed, the killing blow it sustained is also inflicted upon anyone who came into contact with that Wraith during its short existence, save Assassin and his Master. If the Wraith died through being whittled down, this will likely cause no great harm, but if an instant deathblow like Gae Bolg or Zabaniya: Delusional Heartbeat was used...


    Paenitentium
    Faust's Final Fate

    Rank: A
    Type: Support

    Beyond Werther, Goethe's retelling, nay, reimagining of the Faust tale is his most famous work. This Noble Phantasm takes not from the central thrust of the legend, the Deal with the Devil and Faust's damnation, but rather from Goethe's personal addition to the legend, that of Faust's ultimate redemption and rescue from Hell via Gretchen, (likely) Goethe's own created character.

    The flipside of his Werther NPs, Paenitentium allows Assassin to write a literary salvation for anyone destined for death and damnation. In a single act of writing, he can negate a certain death, restore the saved to full health, nullify any corruption they may have accumulated. It also raises their Luck to A for a fleeting while, enough to scape whatever may have killed them in the first place, as Goethe through this NP is outright defying the saved's fate.

    While this grants absolute salvation as a defiance of absolute damnation, it can only affect a single person and won't work on Goethe himself, as its basis is the redemption of another. Given that Faust and the wider Weimar Classicism movement were Goethe's own attempt to move past his Sturm und Drang days, it could also be argued that this NP already is Goetthe's 'redemption'.
    As this NP is also based on the ending to both a grand narrative and grand cycle of narratives, this momentousness also makes it Goethe's most mana-intensive Phantasm.



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