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Thread: Create-A-Servant 3

  1. #10581
    A False Shadow Morg van Destro's Avatar
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    He means excessively melodramatic. The many birds becoming one and the allusion to a cage was all fine and dandy, but it was framed as her wailing and tearing her hair out in furious anger and grief, not to mention he culled the notes that the Rarog was also seen in positive lights that relate it to her, all of which went against her character. "Angry birb goes BRRRR" is a much better way to describe his original description than mine.
    Do you like jazz short stories? Do you want something to distract from making Servants? Do you wish the idea of Shirou Kotomine didn't immediately bring edgelords to mind? Well, I can't promise it's good, but some would disagree with me.
    Fate/Without Justice

  2. #10582
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors
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    Source: Guweiz

    Class: Saber
    Other Classes: N/A
    True Name: Nakazawa Koto
    Alignment: True Neutral
    Place of Origin: Japan (19th Century)
    Stars: 2/5

    Parameters:

    STR: C
    END: D
    AGI: C
    MGI: C
    LCK: C
    NP: C

    Height: 191cm
    Weight: 100lbs
    Likes: Strength
    Dislikes: Chaos
    Talent: Swordsmanship
    Natural Enemy: Robert of Geneva
    Attribute: Man
    Traits: Female, Humanoid, Weak to Enuma Elish
    Armament: Swords
    Catalyst: The Shinshogumi banner

    Class Skills:

    Magic Resistance E: Never came across magic in life.

    Riding E: No anecdotes of riding anything, thus merely a bare minimum rank has been granted.

    Personal Skills:

    Entrancing Features B: As a tale written about her says, "When Koto dresses as a man, many women fall in love with her. When Koto dresses as a woman, many men fall in love with her." Sublimated, her face possesses a powerful charm effect that causes her to appear as the "ideal love" and charm anyone she sees.

    Breaking the Formation B: The sublimation of her breaking the formation of twelve samurai encircling her and defeating them all. A bonus to power based on the more enemies that she is currently fighting. In addition, she gains a "resistance to getting trapped", being able to cut her way through imprisonment.

    Training Swordsmen C: The sublimation of the Shinchogumi, a unit of police she cofounded, and trained. This allows her to bestow the status of a "Member of the Shinchogumi" on anyone she chooses, increasing their Agility and granting them basic proficiency with the sword. This can be bestowed on willing allies, but can also be bestowed upon enemies. However, as it doesn't come with any form of control, why would she use it on enemies?

    Noble Phantasm(s):

    Mohai Ketto
    Perfect Victory


    Type: Anti-Unit
    Rank: C
    Range: 10 meters
    Max Targets: 1

    The sublimation of her status as an "Unbeatable Swordswoman" who never lost a single duel. When the true name is called, she begins a duel with a target, nullifying outside interference, up to and including Command Seals, for both sides. Her strikes become far quicker and more harmful, naturally getting closer to victory at any moment.

    Shinchogumi
    At Our Will

    Type: Anti-Army
    Rank: C
    Range: Infinite
    Max Targets: 100

    The sublimation of the decay and corruption which swept through the Shinchogumi, which she was one of the only members unaffected by it. This Noble Phantasm allows her to reenact it, corrupting all currently granted Shinchogumi status, causing them to spiral with endless hedonism and greed. She then gains a bonus against all of them.

    Lore: Nakazawa Koto (1839-1927) was a Japanese swordswoman during the Bakamatsu period. She fought for the Tokugawa Shogunate during the Meiji Revolution. She was also one of the founders of the Shinchogumi, a police force in Edo originally akin to the Shinsegumi, but which spiraled quickly.

    Personality: An extremely peppy and friendly person. She loves all battles, enjoying the thrill of matching wits with an opponent. She hates poor fights, but also hates chaos, preferring battle to be correctly ordered. Her wish for the Holy Grail is for the Shinchogumi to not have sunk into chaos.

    Relationships:

    Okita Rintaro: "Rin-kun! How have you been? And why are you disguised?"

    Robert of Geneva: "You're just... brutal. Not tactical, not strong, just brutal."

    Han Xin: "Send your armies! I can't wait to crush them!"

    Nohime: "Wow! You were an inspiration!"

    Fukuda Chiyo-ni: "Well, you're out of place, but I do admire your work."

  3. #10583
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors
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    Source: Mr

    Class: Caster
    Other Classes: N/A
    True Name: Snorri Sturllson
    Alignment: True Neutral
    Place of Origin: Iceland (13th Century)
    Stars: 5/5

    Parameters:

    STR: D
    END: D
    AGI: C
    MGI: A
    LCK: C
    NP: A

    Height: 192cm
    Weight: 145lbs
    Likes: Laws, collecting mythology, poetry
    Dislikes: Traitors, captors
    Talent: Speaking law, collecting mythology
    Natural Enemy: Andvari
    Attribute: Man
    Traits: Male, Weak to Enuma Elish, Humanoid
    Armament: His speaking
    Catalyst: A copy of the Prose Edda

    Class Skills:

    Item Creation (false) A: He can manifest most items from the Prose Edda.

    Territory Creation B: Can create a Studio equal in rank to a Workshop.

    Personal Skills:

    Ut Vil Ek B: The sublimation of his words, Ut Vil Ek, I Shall Go Home, which have became an icelandic proverb. This allows him to throw off any resistance below B rank when he is heading to any location which he defines as "home", whether it actually be his home or not or even actually not be a home, even if this is an "order from the king".

    Lawspeaker A: The sublimation of his job of Lawspeaker, the most famous one. The ability to recite the laws, and naturally to minorly alter them, although of course these changes only hold as long as he is the primary source for those laws and even then for a short time.

    Heimskringla A+: One of his most famous works, the Heimskrigla, a history of the Nordic kings. This allows him to take on the powers of the kings he wrote about: for example borrowing Illusions from Haakon the Good, Expansionism from Halfdan the Black, Animal Bond (Wolf) from Harald Greycloak, and so on.

    Rune Magic C+: He was trained in norse runes, but not extremely effectively, especially as magecraft had massively weakened during his time. This grants him some proficiency in that branch of magic, enhanced massively when combined with his noble phantasm Prose Edda.

    Noble Phantasm(s):

    Prose Edda
    The Compiled Norse Mythology

    Type: Anti-Fortress
    Rank: A
    Range: 100 meters
    Max Targets: 1000 targets

    The sublimation of his masterwork, the Prose Edda, a compilation of all of Norse Mythology that is one of the primary sources. When the true name is called, he layers the surroundings into Valhalla, the domain of Odin. In this state Snorri gains the ability to utilize armaments of the legend, although they are weaker, such as Hod's Mistletoe Arrow, Thor's hammer, Ran's net, and so on, charging his runes with the powers of them.

    Bar Dodelig
    Merely a Mortal

    Type: Anti-Divine
    Rank: B
    Range: 10 meters
    Max Targets: 100

    The sublimation of his labeling all the divine entities in Norse myth as being “merely super powerful mortals”. This manifests in the form of a Noble Phantasm that allows him to strip the divinity from a target, rendering them merely mortal.

    Lore: Snorri Sturluson (1179-1241) was a famous Lawspeaker, historian, and poet noted mostly for his writing of the Prose Edda, one of the primary sources for all of Norse Mythology, as well as the Heimskringla, one of the primary sources for the history of the past kings of Norway.

    Personality: A stern and grumpy person. He hates those who try to command him or order him around, in life even ignoring his king's ask for help. He loves history and mythology, finding them tending to massively intertwine. His wish for the grail is merely to have been able to analyze more.

    Relationships:

    Scathach-Skadi: "...Hmmph. Fascinating."

    Andvari: "Fie, you greedy dwarf! Actually, I'll analyze you first."

    Puteri Gunung Ledang: "The boundary point, isn't it?"

    Frau Gauden: "For a justification of the wild wind you're remarkably similar to me."

    Anna Kommene: "Pfah! Those 'epics' aren't worth the paper they're printed on."
    Last edited by jishara; December 7th, 2022 at 01:15 AM.

  4. #10584
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Snorri: I wonder if you could give him an NP based on his responsibility for Christianizing/euphemizing Norse myth. Something like rewriting gods into mortals and Pagan artifacts into Christian ones. Also Norse Runes should probably be renamed Rune Magic for more standardization with the existing Skill name. Lastly I'd consider if Item Construction should be (False) given he doesn't seem to be really crafting these tools, but rather manifesting them from his NP.

  5. #10585
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors
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    Thanks for your comments royd I have added a second Np and switched the names.

  6. #10586
    失敗作の神 God of Failed Work Spelror's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jishara View Post

    Source: TypeMoon

    Class: Saber
    Other Classes: N/A
    True Name: Han Xin
    Alignment: Lawful Good
    Place of Origin: China (3rd Century BC)
    Stars: 4/5

    Parameters:

    STR: B
    END: C
    AGI: B
    MGI: B
    LCK: D
    NP: B

    Height: 187cm
    Weight: 100lbs
    Likes: Valiant battle, glory
    Dislikes: Unfulfilled battle
    Talent: Perfecting bloodshed
    Natural Enemy: Xiang Yu, Yu Meiren
    Attribute: Man
    Traits: Humanoid, Male, Weak to Enuma Elish
    Armament: Shi Mian Maifu
    Catalyst: A painting of him

    Class Skills:

    Magic Resistance B: He lived in the age of gods and fought magecraft, leading to a fairly high rank of magic resistance.

    Riding A: He is capable of riding all mundane steeds easily, as well as low-level phantasmal beasts.

    Personal Skills:

    Zhui Hanxin B: The sublimation of the saying that "Xiao He chases Han Xin under the moonlight" The ability to control moonlight, tending to use it as a shining armor surrounding him that makes him seem like "the true glory" to anyone who sees him, fitting for his mindset of endless but careful battle.

    Duoduoyishan A: "When Han Xin commands forces, the more the better." A saying created by his statement to Liu Bang. This allows him to easily command and control massive armies, ranking up the stats of all within, although as a demerit the individuality of those under his control is not respected, as the saying was comparing Liu Bang's commanding of generals with Han Xin's of soldiers.

    Mingxiu Zhandao A+: The sublimation of his most famous stratagem, the Mingxiu Zhandao, which became part of the 36 stratagems. In it, he built connections to one location to be able to surprise those at a different location. The ability to "seem like" he's heading in a particular direction, while heading in a different one.

    Noble Phantasm(s):

    Shi Mian Maifu
    Ambush on Ten Sides


    Type: Anti-Unit
    Rank: B
    Range: 100 meters
    Max Targets: 1 targets

    The sublimation of one of his most famous stratagems, his "Ambush on Ten Sides". This manifests into the sword he holds, which allows him to create up to ten shadows of himself, emerging from it. Each of these has no individual thought and as such are prime for Duoduoyishan's commanding force. When the true name is called, all the shadows converge on a singular target, striking before Han Xin lands the finishing blow from above.

    Kanjian he Zhanli
    Falsified Vow of the Emperor

    Type: Support
    Rank: D
    Range: 0 meters
    Max Targets: 0 targets

    The sublimation of the vow of the emperor that if he faced heaven and stood firmly on earth, he could not be harmed by weapons wielded by soldiers. This vow manifests in a fairly straightforward form as a servant. As long as he "Faces heaven" (that is, can see the sky), and "stands firmly on earth" (that is, his feet can touch the ground), "No weapons wielded by soldiers can harm him" (no weapons that are standard military weapons can harm him. However, bare hands or non-standard weapons can). In addition, noble phantasms above Rank C ignore this ability.

    Lore: Han Xin (231-196 BC) was a Chinese general and politician who was a major player during the founding of the Han Dynasty, siding with Liu Bang over Xiang Yu and aiding him in several occasions. However, he was severely slighted by Liu Bang, even demoted to merely Marquis. So he attempted to rebel but was crushed.

    Personality: A bloodthirsty and fierce man who loves destroying and crushing the enemy. However, he is also fairly focused on tactics, tending to use ambushes and more hidden attacks before all out pummeling them when they cant stop it. His wish is to be able to win every battle he enters.

    Relationships:

    Xiang Yu: "....I wish I hadn't sided against you..."

    Yu Meiren: "I'm... truly sorry for my role."

    Gao Changgong: "Poison? How terrible."

    Xi Shi: "Poor soul."

    Yuenu: "You're very similar to me, aren't you?"




    Just giving some opinions on the naming for some skills and the Np. (Mainly the names)

    Zhui Han Xin can be changed to Yue Xia Zhui Jun (月下追君) (Directly translates to: "Chasing You under the Moonlight)
    I absolutely understand the Moonlight part, but using it as armor... kinda confusing. The fella was running from old Liu, so I find that a speed boost will do fine. Perhaps the np can be and overdrive version of this?

    Mingxiu Zhandao can be changed to Andu Chencang (暗度陈仓), since that was the one that ended up in the Thirty-six Strategems.

    Shimian Maifu (Eh? Yan Qing's NP?) can be changed to Simian Chuge (四面楚歌)(aka the part where Xiang Yu kills himself). Basically same meaning, but this is the military campaign Han Xin took part in at Gaixia (Mountainous Strength, Conquering Might came from this event as well).

    Kanjian Zhanli can be changed to Sanqiwangling: Wubusha (三齐王令: 五不杀) (Directly translates to: Order of the Duke of Qi: Unkillable by Five)
    same meaning, just to your original name means (see and stand), so I felt it was kinda weird.
    so yea. really, feel free to pm me if you guys are uncertain about China shit.

  7. #10587
    死徒(上級)Greater Dead Apostle Alexcoene's Avatar
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    @St. Olga: Now those are some real Angry Birds! But joke aside, it's a very good sheet of an Avenger who's not that edgy for once. I like the progressing story mixed in with the skills.

    @Sigyn: Now that's just wholesome. Sweet wife and her gremlin husband.

  8. #10588
    Wyrd oft nereð unfǽgne eorl, þonne his ellen déah... Skull's Avatar
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    *Sniff*, I heard you kids were having problems with the "Syncretism" prompt for the Monthly Contest. Well, apropos of nothing I ended up finishing a sheet that I feel could teach you stragglers the possibilities of what you can do.



    ---------------
    Lancer

    "True pride is something you trade your life for! When you said that, it really struck a chord with me! You made it clear; in order to die a proud death someday, I can't live in a way I'd be ashamed of!"



    True Name: Mars-Loucetios
    Epithet: "Sharp-Eyed Impaler of the Divine House"
    Region: Gaul (Gallo-Roman Mythology)
    Hidden Attribute: Heaven
    Alignment: Chaotic Good
    Likes: Travelling, Women
    Dislikes: Barbarians, Dishonour
    Talents: Fast-Talking, Music
    Natural Enemy: Altera the Hun

    Parameters

    STR: (B) END: (C) AGI: (A) MGI: (B) LCK: (C) NP: (A)

    Character
    Lancer takes the form of Mars-Loucetios, the Gallic God of Thunder whose worship survived Imperial Roman rule by being syncretized with the God of War, Mars - their compatibility being due to the common Celtic kenning of using thunderstorms (torannchless) as a metaphor for battles. However despite the grandiose name, Loucetios is unable to completely manifest the extraterrestrial powers of Mars in a Servant container and so is more akin to a Divided Spirit with bits of both individuals in this form.

    A brash and confident young man, Loucetios is not afraid to say what’s on his mind no matter who it might upset. This is reflected in his summoning to the Holy Grail War, treating it as nothing more than a game to test his might against the other heroes. Part of this is due to his eyes being able to read a person’s true intentions and so in order to mitigate the guilt of involuntarily reading everyone’s mind, he tries to be an open book himself. It was this power that allowed him to bond with the elusive foreign goddess Sulis, since they both were troubled with having supernatural eyes. Thus exposes his other infamous trait as despite claiming to love his wife Nemetona, Loucetios is an unrepentant womanizer who took many mistresses over the course of his travels, Sulis having been his “girl in Britain”. Even now in the present day, Loucetios will do anything for a pretty face and if that person happens to be his Master, then feigning crocodile tears is the perfect way to coerce him into focusing on his duties as a Servant.

    However despite his carefree energy and eternal sass, deep down Loucetios was an insecure fellow. He deeply feared being forgotten without leaving a mark on the world, and so despite the risks he convinced his fellow Gallic deities to be syncretised into the Roman Pantheon in order for their cults to survive the Empire’s conquest of Gaul. While his mind stayed mostly intact after becoming one with Mars due to his strong willpower, Loucetios often experienced disorientating cognitive dissonance when some of Mars’ memories bled into his own and the War God’s destructive and violent tendencies influencing him made him fear for the safety of his wife and followers so he took to aimlessly wandering the land as a vagabond who cut down enemies of the Empire or just general villains who harmed women. The isolation he felt was remedied by the constant meeting of new people and gratitude they showed for his aid. Yet despite the hardship, not once did he blame either Mars or Rome and instead he was full of pride for serving the Divine House. To that end he started re-examining his goals in life and tried to focus on living his life in an honourable way that his cult would be proud of, rather than trying to infinitely extend their worship.

    His Wish upon the Holy Grail? To his shame, there is one villain he was never able to best. A certain King of the Huns who brought devastation to Rome and its people. Even when they combined their might into one ultimate being, Mars and Loucetios were unable to defeat Altera and although they survived the battle, they lost the Photon Ray to her. Loucetios never forgave himself for the disgrace of that outcome and has spent a lot of his free time training both mentally and physically. If he were to obtain the Holy Grail, he would use its power to travel back to that fight and replace his younger self with the hope that this time his advanced experience will alter history and protect the smiles of his people, even if it meant giving his life to do so…

    "People may ridicule my noble ideals as fantasy and naïve, but with determination and effort I shall reach my soaring ambitions. I will have no regrets disdaining fleeting glory even when my hour comes."


    Skills

    Class Skills

    Divinity - (A+)
    The measure of whether one has Divine Spirit aptitude or not. At high levels, one is treated as a mixed race of a Divine Spirit - a demi-god. This Skill has an effect which reduces special defensive values called "purge defense" in proportion to the Divinity's Rank. It can break through Skills such as Protection of the Faith and Enlightenment of the Sacred Fig. As a god himself who is fused with the deity of another pantheon, Loucetios naturally has this Skill at the highest Rank.

    Magic Resistance - (A)
    The protection granted against magical effects. Differing from the Resistance effect that merely rejects Magical Energy, this ability cancels the spells altogether. As a deity from the Age of Gods, Loucetios has a strong immunity to magical effects even if he is not a master of them himself. He will naturally cancel out spells of A-Rank or below, no matter what Greater Magecraft it is. In practice, the Servant is untouchable to modern magi, so it would not be an exaggeration to title Loucetios a "Magus Killer" whilst as a Servant.

    Personal Skills

    The Beauty of Trouble with Women - (A)
    A type of “awareness” of women whose infamy borders on that of a curse. Despite supposedly loving his long suffering wife Nemetona, Loucetios was a well known scoundrel who would instantly proclaim his love for any woman with a pretty face that he met in his travels which caused all manner of shenanigans. It is for this reason that he will find it difficult to harm a female opponent and even worse, in spite his high Magic Resistance, he is abnormally vulnerable to Charm effects from the opposite sex. This does go both ways though, and if he is defending a maiden from a villain who seeks to make her cry, Loucetios’ righteous fury will grant a boost to his Parameters for the battle. It is said however, that the only “beauty” he will not fall for is a certain ruler of the Huns who he will not forgive for the humiliating defeat he suffered at her hands.

    Clairvoyance - (C)
    The superior visual perception and dynamic occipital capture, such as to supplement the long-range aiming of projectile weapons. While not an Archer Class Servant, Loucetios nevertheless has amazing eyesight that forms the basis of his name. Simply looking from a high vantage point is sufficient to fully survey a town and search for enemies of the Divine House which he can snipe using his spear as a throwing weapon if he deems them unworthy of the honour of direct combat. But the true advantage is how Loucetios can understand what a person is thinking by looking into their eyes which allows him to understand without words as well as making it hard to deceive him. It was this peculiarity that allowed him to bond with the foreign goddess Sulis who was also isolated due to having Mystic Eyes.

    Ride Like Lightning, Crash Like Thunder - (A)

    The Authority over thunder and lightning, or in other words conceptual power through general electromagnetism. An ability that does not find its origin in his patron Mars but rather in Loucetios’ original Gallic dominion over thunderstorms. By channeling his unique magical energy throughout his body, Loucetios is able to generate an electric aura around his body to use in various ways beyond just making his hair spike up for intimidation. Releasing it through his spear and pointing it towards an enemy allows the electricity to arc through the air and attack them, or alternatively he can reverse the polarity and use magnetic levitation to ride the spear after people like a hoverboard. The possibilities are only restricted by his imagination, or he can just use it for more mundane things like turning his hands into a defibrillator. But Loucetios’ favourite move is to supercharge his vocal chords so that the rapid expansion of air that his voice creates a sonic wave - which he dubs his “thunder shock surprise” and is often accompanied by an electric guitar and him belting out anime theme songs in order to clear out waves of enemies.


    Noble Phantasm

    Perkwunos
    Striker of the Scattered Clouds

    [Type - Anti Army], [Noble Phantasm Rank - A], [Maximum Range - 1~1000 Meters], [Maximum Number of Targets - 500 Units]

    The crystalized union of both Mars and Loucetios’ weapons in one form. Shaped like a normal Celtic spear, but upon closer inspection one will see the faint glow of futuristic technology pulsating from within the junctions. Because photons are a quantum of the electromagnetic field, Mars’ Photon Ray sword seamlessly morphs its shape into the Perkwunos spear to better suit Loucetios’ powers and fighting style. Aside from being used as a normal spear in combat, Perkwunos can channel Loucetios’ Authority for various effects.

    But the true power is that when the Noble Phantasm is fully invoked, the futuristic machinations hidden inside the spear activate and reveal themselves to be capable of modifying atmospheric particles for the purpose of weather manipulation. Once unleashed, the sky will quickly turn cloudy as a thunderstorm rolls in from out of nowhere and bolts of lightning strike down to recharge Loucetios’ energy reserves. It may seem strange that the deity of Lightning would be worshiped so strongly, but it is because destruction and regeneration are merely two sides of the same coin and with the thunderstorms that formed Loucetios’ wrath came fructifying rains that healed the land and prevented droughts. Now as a Noble Phantasm, the mystical rain that Perkwunos creates will heal Loucetios’ allies and will turn freezing cold to immobilize his enemies.

    But since the spear was once Photon Ray and used by the God of War himself, the syncretism between Mars and Loucetios causes Perkwunos to resurrect an ancient memory that neither user knew of. A nameless deity who served as the Origin of the Lightning God, locked in an epic battle with a multi-headed water serpent to destroy it and bring water to the people who worshiped him. Now in a Holy Grail War, when Loucetios has his back to the wall, he can throw his spear into a large enough body of water and it as well as the mystical rain previously summoned will all be sucked up and merge to form that very same giant water serpent once again. As the facade of the ancient creature is centered around Perkwunos acting as its core, Loucetios is able to command it and use its many long necks and as if they were his spear to bite down and crush the opposition. However this mode of Perkwunos is quick to drain energy and Loucetios cannot maintain it for long periods of time and it also leaves him vulnerable to direct attacks without his weapon since commanding the serpent also requires a lot of concentration. Thus it is wise to use it more as a surprise attack or a final resort.


    Relationships

    Altera - “You…you are the one person I cannot forgive. No matter what, I will stop you from going on another rampage.”

    Arjuna - “Hmph, it seems that in a lot of other pantheons, the Lightning Deity is also the King…except for me. I’ll have to work hard to change that.”

    Artoria - “I suppose since you are the descendant of a Roman Emperor, I could lend an ear to your troubles.”

    Artemis, Heracles & Perseus - “This is awkward. I might not be quite Ares, or even Mars right now, but I am still a friend to you nonetheless.”

    Cú Chulainn - “This aura…you remind me a lot of my younger self. That’s not a compliment though.”

    Kriemhild - “How you could even think of getting married to that monster is completely inconceivable to me.”

    Qin Shi Huang - “My wife was always very fond of terracotta tributes, if it’s no bother, she’d be ecstatic if I saw that mausoleum of yours and told her about it.”

    Romulus - “My heart swells with pride to see your face again, boy. Rome truly is a wonderful place isn’t it?”


    Creator's Notes
    The Faceclaim is Juan Cán Yún from Urobuchi’s “Thunderbolt Fantasy”. I was originally going to use Kazuma from Konosuba to parallel the prior Sulis-Minerva sheet I did which had Aqua as the FC, but Kazuma didn’t quite fit the character I envisioned for Loucetios.

    Something from Konosuba I didn’t discard though, was the interesting way the deities interact with their “cults” and their unique attempts to grow them.
    "Here's a bangin lil' tune about takin' on The Man!"

    (Check out my Super Special Awesome Servant Compendium here)

  9. #10589
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six pinetree's Avatar
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    The idea of a god convincing others to be syncretized is very amusing, and I really enjoy how his personality and motivations are shaped by that. He's very fun.
    But I think there's some confusion there with the greek lore. I'm pretty sure human Altera never fought the gods, she got Photon Ray back during her first attack as Velber.

    Why not submit this to the contest though?

  10. #10590
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors
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    Source: AnimeHinata

    Class: Archer
    Other Classes: N/A
    True Name: Wanda Landowska
    Alignment: Lawful Good
    Place of Origin: Poland (20th Century)
    Stars: 1/5

    Parameters:

    STR: D
    END: D
    AGI: D
    MGI: D
    LCK: D
    NP: C

    Height: 168cm
    Weight: 100lbs
    Likes: Harpsichord, playing music in the style intended
    Dislikes: Interpretations that alter style
    Talent: Popularizing Harpsichord
    Natural Enemy: Erik Satie
    Attribute: Man
    Traits: Humanoid, Female, Weak to Enuma Elish
    Armament: Pleyel Golden Notes
    Catalyst: A copy of one of the many pieces written for her

    Class Skills:

    Independent Action D: Not particularly independent, she gains a minimal rank merely allowing her to last for a short time without a master.

    Magic Resistance E: She never encountered magic and as thus has a minimal rank.

    Personal Skills:

    Protection of the Music Gods (False) C: The extreme quality of skill possessed by her, so that she could even be mistaken for "one blessed by the Muses", in composition and harpsichord. Bestows an extremely effective ear, Eye for Art (Music), and the ability to produce a masterful musical performance whenever she wishes to.

    I'll Play Him His Way A: The sublimation of her deep care for the style played at the time of the music she plays. The ability to "get into the feel" and the "time period" of any particular person, more effective with those strongly connected with music, whether composers, performers, conductors, or even people who music was written for or about.

    El Ratablo de Maese Pedro B: The sublimation of the many pieces that were written for her to play in particularly, with one of the most famous being El Ratablo de Maese Pedro, a puppet opera written by Manuel De Falla. The ability to serve as an "inspiration for ideas" to her allies. In addition, the capability to manifest puppet versions of her at her will.

    Noble Phantasm(s):

    Pleyel Golden Notes
    Revitalizing the Harpsichord

    Type: Anti-Unit
    Rank: C
    Range: 10 meters
    Max Targets: 1 target

    The sublimation of her incredible playing, referred to as a "shower of stinging needles and glorious golden rain" by one notable critic. This passively manifests as a Pleyel harpsichord, akin to the one she normally plays. It "shoots" golden musical notes that feel akin to needles. When the true name is called, she links into one particular "time period and feel" of an enemy, showering them with golden notes that sting emotionally, reminding of the worst times in their life, as well as physically, or an ally, with glowing golden notes revitalizing their spirit.

    Lore: Wanda Lankowska (1879-1959) was a Polish pianist, harpsichordist, and composer who played a huge role in revitalizing the popularity of the harpsichord. When she was young, she decided to focus on the harpsichord, and gained massive amounts of success, with many pieces written for her to play or even just for her.

    Personality: She is almost never seen not playing her harpsichord. She is devoted to the "style of the times", and thus hates those who "modernize", feeling that they should remain how they were. She also hates secrets, especially those hidden by composers, as those can completely change the meaning of a work.

    Relationships:

    Carlo Gesualdo: "What on earth are you? What a horrible being."

    Bedrich Smetana: "Madness isn't an emotion I try to capture much."

    John Phillip Sousa: "Sousaphone? Sounds very odd."

    Erik Satie: "OUT! I will not have discussion of musical secrets here."

    Teresa Teng: "The joy you put in is beautiful."

  11. #10591
    夜属 Nightkin
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    God of War




    Servant Saber is ready to fight. I wonder who will be my opponent in this war?

    Class: Saber
    True Name: Alexander Suvorov
    Alignment: Lawful Good
    Place of Origin: Russian Empire
    Armament: his Noble Phantasm

    STRENGE — B
    ENDURANCE — A
    AGILITY — B
    MANA — B
    LUCK — A
    NP — A

    Class skills:

    Riding(B)

    The skill of the Saber and Rider classes. Saber has enough rank to ride any military vehicle

    Magic Resistance(B)

    Provides protection from magical effects. Unlike the resistance effect, which simply rejects magical energy, this ability completely cancels spells.


    Personal skills:

    Divinity(D, B with NP)

    Measure of whether one has Divine Spirit aptitude or not. At high levels, one is treated as a mixed race of a Divine Spirit - a demi-god. Those who have A Rank Divinity or above have reached the Throne of Gods, although they are still just short of being a true god due to lacking a Divine Core. The level declines when the Heroic Spirit's own rank as a Monster or Demonic Beast rises; it can also decrease due to one's dislike for the gods. This Skill has an effect which reduces special defensive values called "purge defense" in proportion to the Divinity's Rank. It can break through Skills such as Protection of the Faith and Enlightenment of the Sacred Fig.

    Saber has no kinship with the gods, however, after his death, a monument was erected to him depicting him in the form of the Roman god of war Mars, which gives Saber a bit of divinity

    I declare right away that no god helped me in my victories. But my soldiers - how they helped.

    Expert in many specializations(B)

    During his lifetime, Saber had many talents. In his spare time, he paid attention to many disciplines and fought his laziness. Among his skills are Charisma, Military tactics, Eye for art, Mentoring, Swordsmanship, Presence Concealment (Saber often dressed up as a simple soldier so that even his own people did not recognize him) and so on.

    Never waste time. No teacher can teach you what you yourself can master, you need to show perseverance and diligence

    Golden rule(Body)(A)


    Saber can temporarily rank up his STR. Furthermore, even without training, he's still beyond brawny. No matter how many calories he ingests, his body shape will not change. Also this skill allows him to remove negative effects from himself after a while, such as debuffs, downgrades, mental curses, etc. below A rank.

    At the beginning of his life, Saber was a weak and sickly person. However, since childhood, he began to temper himself with Spartan methods, thanks to which he acquired a good physical shape and lived longer than he could live.

    That was my very first victory, heh. I wonder if I can become the most successful doctor? After all, they also fight against diseases, and in this case I ate a dog. What? It is Russian idiom, I have never eaten dogs in my life

    Noble Phantasm:

    Фанагорийский полководец
    Undefeated regiment of the god of war and victory
    B

    Sublimating all of Saber's victories and recognizing him as the incarnation of the God of War, as reflected in the monument erected to him.

    It is a saber with a red blade. When sealed, the saber has the ability to give Saber the ability to win in battle. This NP has no specific properties - it all depends on the opponent fighting against Saber. The sword will acquire those properties that are needed to defeat the enemy. Against God, the sword will acquire anti-divine properties. Against the demon, the sword will become an anti-demonic weapon. If the servant has a weakness to fire or poison, then the sword will become fiery or poisonous.

    When Saber proclaims that NP's true name, the sword will disappear, becoming Saber's Roman armor. This armor raises Saber's divinity rank to B, but that's not all. Now Saber is able to create any weapon of war, from a sword to a rocket launcher, but there are conditions.

    1) Saber cannot create weapons he invented, only those that exist and have been used in wars

    2) Weapons must be created by human hands

    3)Weapons can be held in hands, for this reason Saber will not be able to create tanks and planes

    Saber is also able to summon the ghostly soldiers he commanded in life from his armor. These soldiers can also use weapons summoned by Saber.

    Moreover, once this NP is activated, Saber can no longer lose a fight. Like one Irish warrior's spear, which always strikes at the heart, breaking causality, so this armor will always give Saber the opportunity to end the fight on his own terms. However, Saber is by no means invincible and NP has one weak point - Saber can be killed by a surprise attack from a third party, someone who has not participated in the battle and whom Saber could not identify as his enemy. In other words, to defeat Saber, you should not engage in combat with him.

    Description:

    Likes: Battles, worthy opponents, his soldiers, Russia, play the fool
    Dislikes: Turks, Austrians, Prussians, scoundrels, luxury, lazy people
    Natural enemy: Emelyan Pugachev, Napoleon Bonaparte, Tadeusz Kosciuszko

    Saber’s True name is Alexander Suvorov, Russian commander, founder of Russian military theory. Field Marshal General, Generalissimo, Field Marshal of the Holy Roman Empire, Grand Marshal of the Piedmontese troops, holder of all Russian orders of his time, awarded to men, as well as seven foreign. He is also known as a commander who didn’t lose a single battle.

    Suvorov, which may come as a surprise to many, is not a serious person in everyday life. He can talk some nonsense, and at times inappropriate and bad jokes. He is very ascetic and does not like luxury - in any weather he walks in light clothes, and even with a bare torso.

    However, this is all a sham. Suvorov pretends to be a fool, but in battle he shows himself to be a dangerous opponent. He has his own code of honor as a commander and really dislikes dastardly tactics, such as using civilians as human shields. Many modern wars disappoint him.

    Even in battle, Suvorov retains his childishness and gaiety. He is unflappable, and is quite capable of having a polite conversation with his opponent during a fight, even explaining to him where he made a mistake. Alexander will be very happy to cross swords with famous generals whom he respects.

    True, Suvorov is somewhat boastful. He doesn’t mind exaggerating the number of enemies with whom he fought, adding something from himself, attributing an extra reward to himself. Nevertheless, he does not underestimate the merits of the allies, however, if they also distinguished themselves.

    Relations

    Iskander — My dear namesake, it is a great honor for me to meet you. You can consider my victories as yours too. By the way, I have one request for you - can you show me how to play this Admirable Great Tactics?

    Napoleon Bonaparte - Your imperial majesty, and so you lost to my student, but still you want to challenge me to battle? I love this kind of perseverance.

    Jack Churchill - What a dashing soldier. And you play the bagpipes, and you know how to swing a sword, and you shoot from a bow. I regret now that I never visited Scotland during my lifetime.
    Last edited by Shezum3; December 8th, 2022 at 05:49 AM.

  12. #10592
    失敗作の神 God of Failed Work Spelror's Avatar
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    bro, just wondering, what sort of weapon has he invented?

  13. #10593
    死徒(上級)Greater Dead Apostle Alexcoene's Avatar
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    Who knows? That sheet clearly has no interest in the actual figure beyond the fact he got a Mars sculpture, anyway. There's even a cheat skill so you're not distracted too much from the war god stuff.

    No, but seriously. Giving him an association with Mars because of that sculpture is fine, but you have to go into efforts to represent the actual man and his accomplishment, else the True Name just feel like it was tacked on. Foreigners incorporate Elder Gods, but they still have plenty of abilities and themes tied to who they were in life, for example. Also, Golden Rule (Body) is supposed to represent a naturally perfect body, which is the exact opposite of training your entire life to surpass a naturally weak constitution.
    Last edited by Alexcoene; December 8th, 2022 at 11:39 AM.

  14. #10594
    Wyrd oft nereð unfǽgne eorl, þonne his ellen déah... Skull's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pinetree View Post
    But I think there's some confusion there with the greek lore. I'm pretty sure human Altera never fought the gods, she got Photon Ray back during her first attack as Velber.
    Eh, during the writing process I had the idea of one of his flaws being a hypocrite for wanting to stand apart from his other half, Mars but at the same time refusing to see Altera as an individual apart from Velber. But most of that got left on the cutting room floor other than general antagonism towards Altera so your confusion is justified since I should have cleaned up that aspect.

    Quote Originally Posted by pinetree View Post
    Why not submit this to the contest though?
    The whole contest thing isn't really my style.
    "Here's a bangin lil' tune about takin' on The Man!"

    (Check out my Super Special Awesome Servant Compendium here)

  15. #10595
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors
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    Source: Kotora Hu

    Class: Lancer
    Other Classes: Caster, Assassin
    True Name: Malik Ambar
    Alignment: Lawful Neutral
    Place of Origin: India (16th Century)
    Stars: 4/5

    Parameters:

    STR: B
    END: B
    AGI: C
    MGI: D
    LCK: C
    NP: C

    Height: 178cm
    Weight: 134lbs
    Likes: Effective warfare, beautiful architecture, good governance
    Dislikes: Losing battles
    Talent: Guerilla warfare
    Natural Enemy: Gandhari
    Attribute: Man
    Traits: Male, Humanoid, Weak to Enuma Elish
    Armament: A spear
    Catalyst: The Nahr Canal System

    Class Skills:

    Magic Resistance C: He came across some magic in life and thus gains an average rank of this class skill.

    Personal Skills:

    Guerilla Warfare A: He was extremely renowned in his guerilla warfare, being regarded as a pioneer in that tactic. As a skill, he can weaken enemies nearby, more effective against larger groups of enemies, visually appearing as a set of miniature spears launching into them at his will.

    Prime Minister B: He was an extremely effective and noted prime minister with impressive skill for administration, serving as the power behind the throne. The ability to utilize the "skills of a prime minister", such as Eye for Art, Charisma, Tactician's Advice, and other such skills.

    Fixing Revenues C: The sublimation of his Revenue Settlement of Deccan, fixing revenues and costs at a certain amount, a precursor to many other such skills. The ability to "fix" mana intake at a certain level for all those within an area. However, he may also be affected by this skill.

    Noble Phantasm(s):

    Nahr Aurangebad
    Awash, The River's Water Flows

    Type: Anti-Unit
    Rank: C
    Range: 10 meters
    Max Targets: 100 targets

    The sublimation of his creation of the city Aurangebad. In this class, the primary focus is on the canal system, Nahr, he built through it, an incredibly innovative and effective design. When the true name is called, his spear "charges" with energy and water from the surroundings, before releasing it in a blast of liquid that heals allies and harms enemies.

    Lore: Malik Ambar (1548-1626) was a Siddi military leader noted for his extremely effective guerilla warfare. He was the power behind the throne and prime minister for the Ahmadnagar Sultanate, and built the famous city of Aurangebad. He is also noted for his revenue settlement that was a precursor to many others.

    Personality: A calm and strategic person. He always tends to plan out and carefully analyze any given situation, using strategies as much as he can, and hates having to wing anything. This naturally tends to throw him off whenever someone doesn't act how he planned. His wish is to hold back the Mughal emperors he warred against.

    Relationships:

    Gandhari: "Planning will.... no, it will always work. It must always work!"

    Carlo Gesualdo: "How.... how utterly irrational."

    Mirabai: "Well, I suppose the best-laid plans... always succeed."

    Kamaladevi Chattophadyay: "Your strategy was impressive. And traditions.. good choice."

    Creator's NotesCreator's Notes: This is my Number 200! I'm so excited and happy!

  16. #10596
    Local Extra Class Aficionado DelRey's Avatar
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    Is that your 200th sheet?
    Gg boy
    "Let's see the color of your coin, my friend."



    Behold the vault of Heroes.


    The King made the community prosper. Enjoy for free. Paid by your taxes.
    University of Formatting | Museum of Legends | Memorandum of Kings

  17. #10597
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors
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    Quote Originally Posted by DelRey View Post
    Is that your 200th sheet?
    Gg boy
    It is tysm

  18. #10598
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors
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    Source: Develv

    Class: Rider
    Other Classes: Assassin, Caster
    True Name: Nur Jahan
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Place of Origin: Mughal Empire (16th Century)
    Stars: 4/5

    Parameters:

    STR: B
    END: B
    AGI: B
    MGI: C
    LCK: C
    NP: B

    Height: 176cm
    Weight: 100lbs
    Likes: Keeping power, hunting
    Dislikes: Losing power
    Talent: Controlling the politics of the court
    Natural Enemy: Malik Ambar
    Attribute: Man
    Traits: Female, Humanoid, Weak to Enuma Elish
    Armament: A musket
    Catalyst: The mausoleum she built for her father, the poem about her hunting, a depiction of her

    Class Skills:

    Riding A: Capable of riding even such impressive mounts as elephants with extreme proficiency, as well as Monstrous and Phantasmal Beasts. Divine species are yet beyond her reach though.

    Magic Resistance D: She rarely came across magic, gaining a low rank of this class skill.

    Personal Skills:

    The Imperial Seal A+: The imperial seal that she was granted, manifesting as a skill. As the imperial seal is the symbol of full and ultimate power, her being the one to hold it instead of her husband Jahangir gains her the ability to control the events and the wealth, serving as an effective leader. This incorporates Imperial Privilege at rank B, as well as the capacity to mark something as "against the rules of the monarch".

    Tiger Slayer C: She was an impressive hunter, once shooting and defeating four tigers with only six bullets. This shot has manifested, the capability to strike the weakest points far more easily with every shot of her musket. She can also imbue the spirits of the tigers into her bullets, causing them to home towards a target before lacerating them.

    Sarai Nur Mahal B: The sublimation of her extreme amounts of glorious construction, to the point where her name, Nur Mahal, became a byword for a beautiful building of any kind. The capacity to create Fields of construction wherein her power becomes even more impressive, destroying events which she wishes as long as she passes a Check. This can not alter a Noble Phantasm however.

    Noble Phantasm(s):

    Sewar Shedn Bh Nebred
    Atop The War Elephant


    Type: Anti-Army
    Rank: B
    Range: 100 meters
    Max Targets: 10000 targets

    The sublimation of the time when, after rebels captured her husband, Emperor Jahangir, she rode in on a war elephant and commanded thousands of troops. Even after she was defeated, she immediately began scheming, effortlessly defeating the rebels while still being captured by them. When the true name is called, the war elephant she used appears. A titanic beast of high power, as it was revered as a Divine Beast at one point, although in her hands it is merely a Phantasmal Beast. However, it is just a fragment of the true effect, her schemes and consolidation of power. Anyone within sight of the elephant will have to pass a check to not become a part of her army, as she calls commands down to them.

    Lore: Nur Jahan (1577-1645) was an Empress of the Mughal Empire as wife of Emperor Jahangir. She held most of the power during her reign, to the point where she, not the Emperor, was the one holding the Imperial Seal, the symbol of authority. She was noted for her hunting, her tactics, and her construction. After her husband died, she attempted to seize power again using her son-in-law as the next emperor, but another son of the Emperor's, Shah Jahan, defeated her, and she retired to an ascetic life.

    Personality: A serious and elegant person. She loves maintaining everything, and does whatever she can to keep all her plans moving. She is extremely adept at improvising new plans, no matter how awfully they go wrong. Her wish is to have managed to defeat Shah Jahan and to continue as the true power.

    Relationships:

    Malik Ambar: "Ah! Marvelous. I know our last encounter had us on.... opposite sides. But I'd like to hire you this time."

    Gandhari: "You smited a god? We are going to be marvelous friends."

    Marozia: "Religious leaders are just as controllable as political, I suppose."

    Lola Montez: "You went far too far far too fast."

    Xi Shi: "Your mechanism was... not something I thought of. Perhaps I should try it sometime."

  19. #10599
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors
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    Source: Tlalli

    Class: Berserker
    Other Classes: N/A
    True Name: Xochitl
    Alignment: Neutral Good
    Place of Origin: Aztec Pantheon / Toltec Empire (9th Century)
    Stars: 4/5

    Parameters:

    STR: B
    END: C
    AGI: C
    MGI: B
    LCK: C
    NP: B

    Height: 181cm
    Weight: 100lbs
    Likes: Unity, drunkenness
    Dislikes: Killjoys
    Talent: Creating pulque
    Natural Enemy: Cipactli
    Attribute: Sky
    Traits: Humanoid, Female, Divine, Weak to Enuma Elish
    Armament: Maguey thorns
    Catalyst: Pulque

    Class Skills:

    Intoxicating Vapors B: A replacement of Madness Enhancement held by Xochitl. The mania of drunkenness manifested, endless vapors emerging from her that cause others around to feel dizzy and drunk. This also naturally effects her. This mania may also be imbued into a beverage, transforming it into Pulque.

    Personal Skills:

    Divinity A: Her status as an elevated goddess, granted by the Aztecs after her death.

    Bloodletting B: The thorns of the Maguey, which she was the goddess of, were commonly used in bloodletting rituals. This connection has granted her this skill. From her thorns, blood spills far more easily, with things to stop the flow of blood significantly weakened. In addition, she gains power from the blood she spills.

    Army of the Virago C: The army that she mounted when an old woman, to defend her kingdom, composed entirely of female soldiers. The capacity to reform that army, empowering people who agree to join, and empowering her own power. This is far more effective a boost against those who identify as female.

    Plant Body (Maguey) A: Her status as the goddess of Maguey, commonly depicted as a part-Maguey person. Her nails and hair are armed with vicious barbs that stick inside a target and constantly regenerates. Her limbs can stretch with sticky fibers, reshaping themselves. She also gains energy from sunlight constantly. However, she is far weaker to fire.


    Noble Phantasm(s):

    Centon Totochin
    Endless Party Of The Rabbits

    Type: Anti-Army
    Rank: B
    Range: 20 meters
    Max Targets: 1000 targets

    Her children, the Centon Totochin. The rabbits who represent drunkenness and the effects caused by it. When the true name is called, the vapors constantly swirling around her condense into the shape of four hundred rabbits, who chase down targets at her will, causing extreme amounts of drunkenness and severe alcohol poisoning.

    Lore: Xochitl was a queen of the Toltec empire. She invented the alcoholic beverage known as Pulque, made of fermented Agave sap. In her late life, she lead an army to face down her enemies during the civil war of the empire, and died in battle. To the Aztecs, she became known as Mayahuel, the goddess of Maguey and of Pulque, whose children, the Centon Totochin, represented drunkenness.

    Personality: A casual and constantly drunken person. She loves parties and festivities, relaxing and indulging. She dislikes having to go to battle, but once she enters it, her personality shifts, becoming much more calculating and dangerous. Her wish for the grail is merely to have vbeen able to survive her final battle.

    Relationships:

    Cipactli: "You don't want to party, huh? ... unfortunate."

    Malik Ambar: "Loosen up a little bit, huh?"

    Huascar: "Ooh, golden chain! How fun."

    Huayna Capac: "Good choice. Just relax a little."

    Pachacuti: "Religion this, sacrifice that... I know it's a bit hypocritical, but.... cool down on that, huh?"

  20. #10600
    I can't believe it's not Rider! DesReploid's Avatar
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    My God, man's is somehow completing sheets faster than it takes me to think of a person to write a sheet on.
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    My Servant Compendium

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