Create-A-Servant 3

[DelRey]

thats a ridiculous servant
fighting with fire extinguishers? Thats a battle i wanna see. Throwing ships? thats new
Reading her quotes is annoying. No points. she most likely speaks in capslock, her posh character. If you wanted to accomplish that, good job
another annoyance is Spoils of the Phoenix, the description is unnecessarily long
It is not "much like Golden Rule", it is a low ranked Golden Rule, same with BC, she has a heightened mana regeneration period. Without core and without master, a berserker is toast. its like saying "i am always breathing, except when i am dead. Then i am not."
and the last effect is basically a high ranked Beast-Slayer, I guess.
pointing out a skill has 5 effects, makes it feel inherently loaded, so describing it differently, in a way that connects them directly to the feat, makes it more natural than a cold list.

Edit:
sheesh, okay queen elisabeth was still warm when a sheet from her popped up, so i give you at least credit you let him rest for 1.5 years, but still. Really?

[ThompsonContender]

Cool servant, I enjoy the idea, just uh why Assassin? Also seems like a really good noble phantasm for a servant one year old.

[RoydGolden]

Miura: I don't have a problem with modern Servants but not a fan of how both his Skills and NP are basically "generic mangaka", with little of his particular life and feats mixed in. Pretty much any legendary mangaka could have those Skills and a "bring to life the things you drew" NP. If you have to go that broad to give him fitting abilities maybe it's time to consider he (while obviously a gifted artist IRL) doesn't really qualify as a Heroic Spirit at all.

[Leftovers]

Assassin of Manga

Class: Assasin
True Name: Kentaro Miura

Impressive, now do Assassin of Anime Kyoani Arsonist.

[LJ3]

Bruh

[pinetree]

Shezum's really here to make the thread worse with each post huh

[Gl4re]

I was wondering when we were gonna address some of these sheets lol

[Shezum3]

Guys, I need help from someone who understands the concept of foreigners. I have one person in mind, associated with water and creativity, has a picture about the creation of the world. Question - can a Greek chthonic deity be used to create Foreigners?

[Chat the Cat]

Well, in Fate canon, the Olympian gods are the remnants of alien supercomputers, so... maaaybeee?

It'll be a hard sell even with that in mind, though.

[Shezum3]

The main thing for me is that maybe the rest is a matter of labor, dark fantasies, cynicism and loss of ties with reality. Just kidding, I'm not losing touch with reality

[RoydGolden]

Guys, I need help from someone who understands the concept of foreigners. I have one person in mind, associated with water and creativity, has a picture about the creation of the world. Question - can a Greek chthonic deity be used to create Foreigners?

I don't think one can normally be a Foreigner based on connection to a "native" deity. Although you could justify it by tying in that god to one of Lovecraft's pantheon, like my Eurypylus was a Foreigner with Gloon whose equated with Dionysus. I also recall Drangle wrote up a Foreigner Psyche based on Eros being a primordial being who even the gods feared, so I guess you could go with that although personally I wouldn't recommend it (Drangle's Foreigner was a funny example of cosmic horror played heartwarming, but it'd dull the meaning of the Class if any sufficiently ancient deity could qualify rather than true otherworldly beings).

[Shezum3]

I'm going to play not so much with the Greeks, but with the concept of the World Ocean from which everything originated. This motif is found in many cultures. As for Native Gods... Dagon itself is taken by Lovecraft from Semitic mythology, and the image is reworked. I will try to find a deity from the Cthulhu mythos that will satisfy - in my opinion - this concept. Cthulhu seems like a very obvious option to me, moreover, I don't think he can be considered a deity of water, he's more of a deity of mind. Note — create a sheet by August Derleth

[Chat the Cat]

Katsushika Hokusai already took Cthulhu, anyway

[Shezum3]

She can, The dream of the fisherman's wife allows

[Spelror]

what happened while i was gone
also i gave my equipment away so no art from me for a while

[Shezum3]

Can the same Outer god have multiple Foreigners?

[DelRey]

yes
there is no precedent in FGO
but there is not much speaking against it

[Justiciar Hux]

There isn't any rule that says a Foreigner can't have the same patron deity as another Foreigner. We haven't seen it, but it's certainly not a rule; why would it be? Cthulhu has more than one tentacle after all.

[Serra]

thats a ridiculous servant
fighting with fire extinguishers? Thats a battle i wanna see. Throwing ships? thats new

I'm glad to hear that part of the sheet had the desired impact lol

Reading her quotes is annoying. No points. she most likely speaks in capslock, her posh character. If you wanted to accomplish that, good job

I do want her speech to come off at first glance as possibly overwhelming and/or annoying, yes. That said, I wouldn't want it to be *too* hard to follow in case she ever needs to take a larger speaking part in a story. Just tried adding more line breaks while still mantaining the caps lock and the lack of other punctuation between sentences; if it doesn't work, I could add more empty space between those line breaks; if it's still too much, I'll just add punctuation other than line breaks, but mantain the caps lock

another annoyance is Spoils of the Phoenix, the description is unnecessarily long

You're definitely right about everything you said in this section. For a long time, I was very confused about what the non-fire extinguisher parts of the skill would be like, and that confusion evidently spilled over to how I ended up writing out the skill as well. I did some edits to that Skill now. I didn't really tie the description to the feat that much more closely, because it feels like attempting to do that may turn into an unnecessarily long snippet for other reasons, but I did try to slim down the description now. Does it seem better?

[DelRey]

it does
one last thing that stretches through basically all your sheets
its "Parameters", not "Parametres"