In my defense, Nasu didn't put "THIS IS PLATO'S THEORY OF FORMS GAIZ" anywhere on Gil's Servant profile and yet we still love his arrogant, douchey self. Yet another shortcoming of my writing, I suppose.
In my defense, Nasu didn't put "THIS IS PLATO'S THEORY OF FORMS GAIZ" anywhere on Gil's Servant profile and yet we still love his arrogant, douchey self. Yet another shortcoming of my writing, I suppose.
Last edited by Nuclear; January 15th, 2022 at 07:34 AM.
it's okay, i actually enjoy these kinds of subtlety more
Class: Saber
True Name: Uqba Ibn Nafi
Origins: Arabia
Alignment: Chaotic Good.
Parameters:
Strength: B
Agility: B
Endurance: B
Mana: C
Luck: C
NP: A++
Summoning Line: Saber Class, my name is Uqba Ibn Nafi. I am pleased to meet you master. May the will of Allah guide of to victory
Lore/Background:
Class Skills:
Personal Skills:
Noble Phantasm :
Misc Lines :
Bond Lines :
Relationships:
Creators Notes:
Last edited by Ismail2002; January 23rd, 2022 at 10:02 PM.
Uqba ibn Nafi: A really fascinating figure I've never really heard before, I'm glad you introduce them here. That golden goblet legend in particular is really interesting. Good sheet all around, keep it up.
Alignment: Neutral Good
Caster
Innocent Young Lady in the Woods, Vasilisa
Click here for a sketch!
Region: Russia
Gender: Female
Height: 135cm
Weight: 35kg
Likes: Her mother and father, sweet things, small animals
Dislikes: Her stepmother and stepsisters, the dark, bullies
Parameters:
Strength: E
Endurance: E
Agility: C
Mana: A+
Luck: B+
Noble Phantasm: A
Class Skills:
Territory Creation: BThe creation of a workshop suited to Caster's needs is possible. It is a warm and gentle place, suitable both for rest and for planning her next move. It reminds her of her parents.Item Construction: C
And utterly average rank in Item Construction, Caster's capacity for the creation of items is based entirely on what she was able to learn from Baba Yaga. As a result, she is neither particularly skilled in this regard nor completely incompetent.
Personal Skills:
Cannibal Witch's Teachings: CCaster learned magecraft from the legendary child-devouring witch, Baba Yaga. As she was not going to be consumed, the witch concluded it was best not to waste the natural talent that she possessed. While her instruction did not last long, Caster learned all manner of spells from the witch. Due to the nature of her mentor, this granted Caster a special affinity for curses that inflict harmful status and even fatal effects upon her enemies. A skill that would normally be of the highest rank. However, Caster's personality is incompatible with curses and thus it is degraded. Unless...
Small Miracles: AA skill similar in many regards to a skill held by a certain tsarevna, albeit at a lower rank. It is possessed by her doll as opposed to Caster herself. It effects the world in a subtle fashion, shifting events in order to benefit its owner. If an outcome that would be beneficial to Caster is possible, that outcome will become more likely. In spite of this, it is incapable of preventing attempts on her life. This skill is best described as "putting luck on Caster's side".Stepmother's Ashes: A
A crystallization of the concept of reprisal. In a way, it can be considered the one curse compatible with Caster's mentality. To treat Caster with unkindness is to invite an ill fate. Those who cause her to suffer will become all the more vulnerable the more severe her pain is, receiving a degradation in their parameters in proportion to that pain. The more keenly Caster feels this suffering, the more severe the perpetrator's own suffering becomes. The concept of revenge seems utterly foreign to an innocent girl like Caster, and yet...
Noble Phantasms:A Gift from Baba Yaga
Pylayushchiy CherepRank: A
Type: Anti-Unit
Range: 0-10
Maximum Number of Targets: 3 People
The skull-tipped staff granted to Caster by the cannibalistic witch Baba Yaga. It predates the hag herself, though it was given alterations to increase its efficiency and lethality. It is capable of producing fire and lighting candles even in the dark, but these are secondary to its main function as a tool to kill others. On the invocation of its name, twin beams of magical energy erupt from the skull's burning eye sockets that instantly vaporize human targets and bypass most defenses. A "human-killing tool" suitable for an owner such as Baba Yaga who devours humans, but now in the hands of an innocent child. Indeed, it is impossible for a human to survive being struck. When Caster brought it into her home, it incinerated her stepmother and stepsisters and reduced them to nothing but ashes in an instant. It was a swift and brutal killing that ended their lives before they could comprehend their fate. Surely, such an innocent girl could never have intended for an outcome like that.
Spirit Whispers
Blagosloveniye Materi
Rank: C
Type: N/A
Range: N/A
Maximum Number of Targets: N/A
When Caster's mother died, she left behind a small black doll with silver hair. Caster was left with instructions to perform a ritual by providing the doll with a little food and water, and on the ritual's completion the doll awakened and began to move on its own. It comforted Caster, and aided her in completing tasks set by her cruel stepmother and later the wicked cannibal Baba Yaga, ensuring her education in magecraft and her survival. In terms of personal capabilities, the doll is a familiar inhabited by a spirit of the Russian wilderness. It is not powerful on its own, but can complete tasks for Caster and possesses a form of mystic eyes that allow it to see through things to core truth of things. It can move autonomously to defend its Master or be used as a scout, but it is completely incapable of any form of offense in its current state. But it cannot permanently be destroyed. The small, feminine doll will always return to Caster's side no matter how utterly it is annihilated.
Notes: For some reason I was under the impression Vasilisa was a child in the fairytale where she meets Baba Yaga, but that's actually not the case in the original story. Still, I like the design too much to change it. Also, I'm really not sure about the Russian in her NP names but I don't have a good way of translating it. They're supposed to mean something along the lines of "Skull Lantern Staff" and "Mother's Blessing".Lore: The central character to a number of Russian fairytales, one of which features the famed cannibal witch Baba Yaga. A fair young girl from the Russian countryside who lost her mother to illness. Vasilisa received a small doll from her mother before her death, and it became a familiar which comforted her in her sorrow and was able to see the truth behind all things. This was able to address the girl's pain, to make her feel as if tomorrow could be better again. When her father remarried, even though her heart was still filled with sadness she happily greeted her stepmother and her new stepsisters. They treated her warmly and with kindness.
Until her father first departed on business.
The moment she was out of her father's sight, her new mother and sisters began to harshly abuse her. She was slapped, kicked, and verbally abused, threatened that if she tried to tell her father the consequences would be all the more severe. No matter what she did to make them happy, her stepmother would abuse her.
Eventually, they moved to a new home in a deep forest. But when they arrived, they discovered that no light could shine inside of it. Threatening Vasilia with more abuse if she did not comply, her stepmother forced her out into the wilderness to search for a source of light in another cabin even deeper in the forest. Frightened of what could be lurking in the darkness, but even more frightened of being beaten to death by her wicked stepmother, Vasilisa departed alone with only her doll for comfort. In the dark and cold, the young girl wandered in a desperate search for the cabin that apparently held light that could be used in their new home. She found nothing, until she stumbled across the nightmarish walking house possessed by the witch Baba Yaga. Immobilized with terror, Vasilisa was unable to flee before the witch returned home and discovered her. Rather then eating her immediately, Baba Yaga decided to assign her a series of impossible tasks to be completed within the day. It was a cruel joke for the witch's own amusement, but when she departed again Vasilisa's doll was able to complete every chore assigned to her without fail. When Baba Yaga returned, she was surprised but unable to find fault with Vasilia's performance, and thus held to her word and did not eat the young girl. Instead, she chose to instruct her in magecraft and answer her questions, as it would be a waste of Vasilisa's natural talent to do otherwise.
It was only when she learned of the blessing bestowed upon the young girl by her deceased mother that Baba Yaga rejected her, desiring no-one with any kind of blessing to be in her presence. However, she granted Vasilisa what appeared to be a skull lantern as a parting gift, seemingly expecting nothing in return.
With her doll's assistance and the light of the lantern, Vasilisa was able to return home.
When she arrived, the lantern instantly incinerated her stepmother and stepsisters, leaving behind nothing but ashes.
A kind, gentle, and sweet-natured girl, Vasilisa does not appear to have a mean bone in her body. She tries to assume the best of others, even if it's difficult. Her desires are simply to be a good girl and to do the right thing for her Master, whoever they may be. In many respects she is simply an ordinary young girl, who loves small animals, baking, and being praised by those she cares about. Her wishes are uncomplicated and plain, as Vasilisa would like nothing less than to simply be happy and for those she cares about to be happy as well. The veritable model of an angelic fairytale protagonist. Towards her Master, the young girl is polite and friendly, and will always ask what they want her to do or how she can be of help. While her kindness does not mean she is harmless or unable to fight, she does not appear to take pleasure in such things.
And yet...
Pain begets pain. Suffering begets suffering. Cruelty is treated in kind. Reprisal for the wicked. Mercilessness for those without mercy. Sweet-smiling, gentle Vasilisa has become fundamentally broken deep inside. Those who hurt others deserve to be hurt. To die. To burn to ashes in a blaze of retribution. This is the mindset of the innocent girl who desires only to make others happy. After all, doesn't removing cruelty from the world make it a better place?
Last edited by VitaVitaAR; January 16th, 2022 at 03:00 PM.
Would summon.
Vasilisa: This is a really good servant though why is that last personal skill unranked. Also is it just me or the sketch looks a bit like Sitonai. Like the jacket look awfully similar in design.
But what do you think my servant I only have one comment so far.
a really good sheet. I like it, the sketch is cute too
"Let's see the color of your coin, my friend."
Behold my vault of Heroes.
Where the Heavens and the Abyss breath the Music of Humanity.
The King's duty is to provide. And provide, I shall.
University of Formatting | Gallery of Potential | Memorandum of the Extra Class Kings
Our Kingdom will grow. And we shall know each citizen.
Create-a-Servant 4 soon.
Thank you! I'm really happy with how she turned out. I wanted to go with maximum fluff for her winter wear too.
I fixed her last skill, it wasn't supposed to be unranked. As for any resemblance to Sitonai, it wasn't intended beyond both of them wearing very old winter clothing.Originally Posted by Ismail2002
For your Servant, he's interesting. I think he's neat, but I don't know a ton about the person he's based on so it's a little hard to judge that side of things. I do think the grail connection makes sense.
I hope to see your other Foreigners soon. Gonna be interesting to see them in your art and writing style.
"Let's see the color of your coin, my friend."
Behold my vault of Heroes.
Where the Heavens and the Abyss breath the Music of Humanity.
The King's duty is to provide. And provide, I shall.
University of Formatting | Gallery of Potential | Memorandum of the Extra Class Kings
Our Kingdom will grow. And we shall know each citizen.
Create-a-Servant 4 soon.
Alignment: Chaotic Evil
Foreigner
Witch of the Infinite Abyss of Time, Keziah Mason
Click here for a sketch!
Region: United States
Gender: Female
Height: 145cm
Weight: 39kg
Likes: Gullible people, literature, chocolate
Dislikes: Boredom, Witch Hunters, the Church
Parameters:
Strength: D
Endurance: C
Agility: B
Mana: A+
Luck: C
Noble Phantasm: EX
Class Skills:
Existence Outside the Domain: AThe 'object through which an evil god acts'. In her lowest moment, Foreigner met someone whose body was composed of darkness like obsidian and sunk deep into the abyss beyond starlight. The hangman's noose could not reach her here.Divinity: B
In a way she could be considered the window through which the dark figure looks. Her very existence is painted with divinity as a result.
Personal Skills:
Witching Hour: BAll manner of rituals become possible at a reduced cost during the night. The perception of the supernatural growing more powerful having an effect on one who styles themselves as the classic ideal of a witch. While the traditional 'Witching Hour' is thought to take place between 3:00 to 4:00, it seems that as long as the moon is in the sky Foreigner's capacity as a magus is enhanced. In terms of her ability, she is more comparable to a magus of the distant past then one from the era of the Salem Witch Trials.
Obsidian Moon: CA skill that permits a temporary warping of time during battle. The conditions of combat are entirely reset, erasing injury and negative effects for all combatants. Rather then locking conditions from changing, it instead reverses them entirely. However, it cannot apply only to Foreigner and her allies, as the enemy is also affected. Perhaps the shadowy figure who peers through her finds such conflicts amusing.The Black Figure: A
A skill representing the bond between Foreigner and the evil god who is dark like liquid shadow. A understanding of unnatural geometries granted by this bond that permits the use of teleportation comparable to spatial warping. Instant transit between locations using these principles becomes possible, though by using unnatural geometries it leaves a path through which it is possible to pursue her.
Noble Phantasms:No Dead Ends
Infinite ReversalRank: EX
Type: Anti-World
Range: N/A
Maximum Number of Targets: N/A
Foreigner escaped her fate of swinging from a noose through unknown means. Condemned to death, she fell into a state of despair, and met with a figure whose body was black like a hole in the fabric of reality. This meeting allowed her escape by reversing time itself, retaining her awareness of the future. This Noble Phantasm is the capacity to reset time by a week in the event of Foreigner's death. As long as she has even a single breath remaining, time will reverse itself in order to secure her future once again. An impossible feat that is nevertheless accomplished by this Noble Phantasm, that activates automatically as Foreigner dies. However, instant death can bypass this effect, as it only activates if Foreigner is dying, not if she is already dead. Still, if she is not killed outright she may reset the week as many times as she desires until she obtains the outcome she wishes for. As she faced the gallows, her prayers were answered.
Nightmare of Impossible Spaces
The Witch's House
Rank: A
Type: Bounded Field
Range: N/A
Maximum Number of Targets: N/A
The home created by Foreigner, exploiting her knowledge of magecraft and impossibilities. It can be defined as a space that is incompatible with the human order, as its dimensions defy human understanding. From the outside it appears to be an ordinary house, but within the spaces do not follow any sort of logic. Hallways occupy spaces they cannot. Corners are at impossible angles that defy human comprehension. Even at its base state, a feeling of unease will wash over those who enter the her household. On a whim, its interior can be restructured, creating new impossibilities. A maze that cannot be understood by an ordinary human. The distorted space within is inhabited by bizarre creatures. Swarms of rats with human faces that devour flesh. Abominable vaguely canine entities that spring from impossible corners. Indescribable things lurking in the dark. Once trapped inside, it is impossible to escape unless cancelled, or if Foreigner herself is located and killed. While the house is a trump card that entraps her foes and surrounds them with enemies, it also places her in a vulnerable state where she is unable to utilize Infinite Reversal and escape death. Still, for Foreigner, the allure of watching her enemies struggle within the impossible maze may outweigh the risk inherent in using it.
Notes: The idea of a "nameless" victim of the Witch Trials becoming "Keziah Mason" for Nyarlythotep felt pretty interesting to me, especially since Foreigners have demonstrated some abilities not dissimilar to that. I know Nyarly's technically been used already, buuuuuut even if I like her Summer BB's not a Foreigner you know? I'll admit this one feels a bit off the wall so I'm not completely sure if it's a good idea.Lore: An old woman was accused of witchcraft.
Her denials fell on deaf ears. There was no escaping her sentencing. She would confess, or be tortured until she confessed.
The noose tightened.
She fell into the abyss. She met a figure of darkness, who proposed to her a way to freedom. To become the witch she was accused of in the name of staying alive.
When she awakened, her name was Keziah Mason. Her elderly body had returned to its teenaged years, and time itself had been reset by one week. A grim smile crossed her lips, as she embraced this new life she had been granted.
The dark figure is still watching. It has watched as Keziah Mason indulged in things she never had before, watched as she embraced the wickedness she had been accused of. As she forged a life for her own amusement, of toying with others, testing them again and again to watch them fail.
A twisted person whose life became something other.
That is the very nature of Keziah Mason.
In terms of her personality, she adores books and will read whenever given the opportunity. Always seeking new reading opportunities, she is as eager to go out and fine new things to read as she is to twist others until they fail. A surprisingly friendly and laidback girl who enjoys the company of others, just as she enjoys turning them into her playthings with which to amuse herself. Keziah's attitude is one that enjoys human beings, because watching the struggle of human beings is entertaining. The mentality of the old woman she once was has long vanished, lost to the nature of a capricious youth with a love of causing difficulty to others. Her wits, her magecraft, her words, her sexuality, all of these things are tools to pursue her own enjoyment. Her Master will be viewed as a 'special plaything' whom she will enjoy playing with using every tool within her repertoire. However, she does value them to some extent, and will not seek their utter downfall, if only to keep them around so she can keep playing with them whenever she desires. At the same time, she will become increasingly clingy and attention-driven the longer she spends time with her Master. Perhaps she believes her plaything should pay her special attention.
Or perhaps it is because it makes them easier to manipulate?
And yet, sometimes she becomes rather moody and withdrawn, shutting herself in her quarters with a book and refusing to come out. Maybe this is because of the age her body has been returned to, or maybe it is for another reason.
Of course, the name Keziah Mason is a work of fiction. The dark obsidian figure plucked a phantom from death that suited its needs, and twisted her to become a tool by rewarding her with youth and what seemed to be a 'second chance at life'. It could be that it is a subconscious awareness of this truth that causes her more moody and rebellious phases.
Last edited by VitaVitaAR; January 18th, 2022 at 11:06 PM.
I am disappointed...
NOT.
Cool idea and concept, good execution and decent flair overall. Your writing continues to entertain.
Using literary figures from hpl to use on nameless figures is a fun concept to use. It is another approach of "this figure actually existed" which i am not too fond of in the hpl context.
Im just not sure whats up with her hat? Is her hat melting away like in the Doctor Strange Trailer/What If Episode?
"Let's see the color of your coin, my friend."
Behold my vault of Heroes.
Where the Heavens and the Abyss breath the Music of Humanity.
The King's duty is to provide. And provide, I shall.
University of Formatting | Gallery of Potential | Memorandum of the Extra Class Kings
Our Kingdom will grow. And we shall know each citizen.
Create-a-Servant 4 soon.
Class: Caster.
True Name: Umm Salama/ Hind bint Abu Umayyah
Origins: Arabia
Alignment: Lawful Good.
Parameters
Strength: E
Endurance: C
Agility: D
Mana: A
Luck: C
NP: B+
Summoning Line: Assalamualaikum, my name is Umm Salama but it’s that is to long for you. You can call me Hind, yes like the deer. You seem like a sweet child it be a pleasure to work for you.
Lore/Background:
Class Skills:
Personal Skills :
Noble Phantasms :
Misc Line:
Bond Lines :
Relationships:
Creator's Notes :
Last edited by Ismail2002; January 23rd, 2022 at 10:01 PM.
With what's established about Foreigners and Lovecraft, there's only a couple things I would want to do a straight translation of into the Nasuverse. And none of them are people.
As for her hat, she's got candles on it.
Nice sheet but I was sorely dissapointed in the lack of an Ellen/Viola faceclaim given the Witches House NP basically being a homage to that game. I do commend that you use your own artwork though, so I guess this kind of mitigates my opinion.
Pronouns - She/Her
Winner of the Legendary Jack-Off
TRANS LIVES MATTER
Top Five Favourite Servants
If I may be frank, Ismail, while your Servant sheets are competent enough (not to mention that they fill up a Muslim-sized vacuum, which is unfortunate given the prominence of Islam, never mind the circumstances of its rise to relevance and subsequent endurance), they lack personality. They're all bland, all mildly agreeable but otherwise one-note sorts. No hint of inner drama. They just drop by, say their piece, throw hands as needed, and promptly dissolve, or at least that's my impression of all of them. Not that I'm one to talk -- I haven't submitted any Servant sheets of my own, myself, and won't for at least a month more -- but still, consider that in the Nasuverse, they're Heroic Spirits, Servants fighting each other in Holy Grail Wars, due to desires they cannot fulfill in life, that their incarnations are basically thus distilled essences of those desires, their motivations, their raisons d'etre.
Don't take this as a slight against you. Just, you know, a bit more oomph, if you will.
Last edited by Tabris; January 17th, 2022 at 05:26 PM.
Noob here. Sorry about that.
I see, I will kept that in mind for the next few servants that I made. I get what you mean with some them especially the earlier ones. Like I think I make most of them don't really know what to do with the Holy Grail. Though I try add a bit off drama to these servants like with Aisha and her weird complex of her innocent monster skill, Abd Al Raman with his cowardice a bit. But yeah, I can see why it's bit lacking. It's really hard to come up with these stuff without breaking their core character that has been recorded in history. Though there is one servant that people pointed out that I could much more with her as I more liberty with that any other servant. So any tips that you might know to add these stuff would be really great.
Last edited by Ismail2002; January 17th, 2022 at 06:18 PM.
i would say give him time and experience a bit as he still is trying to find his style.
Your verified Chikara-production Studios !
Dont ship me with anyone unless i say so !
When you wake a Dragon in his Lair...
I personally feel like you are too fast.
you almost release a servant daily.
Give it a rest, let ideas well up a bit. When you think you are done get a bit of distance to it and read it the next day and think about what could be better. Be it spelling (recommended), wording or descriptions that could make it more nuanced.
Pumping out one sheet after another is not the complete way for gaining experience. Put more time and thought behind your creations and understand your own thought process behind them to identify where you might fall into traps that were mentioned here.
For comparisons sake, the quickest sheets I made were shit posts. I did them in four hours. Other sheets took several weeks. Of course I dont sit the whole day on them without end, but researching and circling ideas around your head when you have the time proved that sometimes late additions are useful to make more out of it
But I am more of a "concept first, Servant later" creator
"Let's see the color of your coin, my friend."
Behold my vault of Heroes.
Where the Heavens and the Abyss breath the Music of Humanity.
The King's duty is to provide. And provide, I shall.
University of Formatting | Gallery of Potential | Memorandum of the Extra Class Kings
Our Kingdom will grow. And we shall know each citizen.
Create-a-Servant 4 soon.
I guess your right, Yeah I think I rest my head for a few days or so
Posting Permissions
Reply With Quote
