I kinda liked the whole friendship thing. A rare find these days. (I think I was there during the GaS part, good shit.)Originally Posted by BnEl15
Aww, thanks WF! Honestly he was written in the middle of one of my worst creative slumps in a while, so I felt kind of iffy on some parts, but I'm glad there are still people who like him.
Foreigner of Primordial Waters
What is an ocean? This is the place where all living things come from. From the ocean came the earth, the ocean gave birth to air, and everything will return to the ocean at the time of the end of all things. Creation of the ocean, I am Foreigner. I will be glad to work with you
Class: Foreigner
True Name: Ivan Aivazovsky/Hovhannes Ayvazyan
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
Place of Origin: Armenia
Armament: Brush for painting
STRENGE — C
ENDURANCE — A
AGILITY — A
MANA — B
LUCK — B
NP — B
Class skills:
Existence Outside the Domain(C)
Class skill of Foreigners. His skill is very low as his Outer God is much closer to Earth than the others.
Insanity(C)
Foreiner's madness doesn't seem serious, except for his obsession with the ocean.
Personal skills:
Protection of the Music God(Fake)(C)
Originally, this is a Skill indicating being given the divine protection of Muses, the goddesses of music. It is the capacity to recognize and identify any and all sorts of sound, and it makes it possible to perform a prodigious musical performance. In addition, it also grants a plus correction on the usage of musical magic
Foreigner was highly gifted in both painting and music. Even though he became a drawing master, he still retained this skill, albeit not at the highest rank. This skill also allows the Foreigner to emit a low-pitched sound that causes living organisms to go into a state of stupor for two minutes.
No, it's not magic. This sound... is the music of the ocean. The very first sound ever heard by the first living beings. Even their descendants remember this melody, the birth melody of all life
Ninth Wave(B)
An artistic image common in art, journalism and colloquial speech, a symbol of fatal danger, the highest rise of a formidable, irresistible force. The symbol of the ninth wave comes from an old folk belief that during a sea storm the ninth wave is the strongest and most dangerous, often fatal.
A picture of Foreiner, depicting just the ninth wave, after which no one will be saved. This could have been his Noble Phantasm if it had been summoned in the Caster class. This skill empowers him every ninth attack against the same target. From the ninth blow, you can’t defend yourself, you can’t hide, you can’t run away. The ninth wave is the attack of doom itself. It remains only to accept
I cannot say that the ocean is soft and good. He is harsh, as a father can be harsh towards his children, but this severity is important for growing up.
Landscape (Marinistics)(C)
A skill available to Foreigner due to his paintings, most of which depict the sea. He also had portrait images, but most of all he liked to paint seascapes.
This skill allows him to create paintings and depictions of the sea. This skill allows him to create paintings and images of the sea by moving water onto paper or canvas. At his command, all these masses of water can escape from the picture.
It is difficult to say why the sea and the ocean have become my passion. Hardly due to the fact that I lived next to the wild water element. Passion has no explanation... it just arises once and for all
Noble Phantasm:
Сотворение мира
Primeval Waters
B
The picture of Foreiner, depicting the creation of the world, was appreciated by the Pope that he wished to buy it. But Foreigner simply presented the painting to the Vatican without taking any payment.
This NP is embodied in the form of a brush for painting. Its handle is not long enough to block blows, and in appearance it is no different from other such brushes. This brush allows the Foreiner to attack with water when sealed. One stroke of this brush is enough to send a sea wave at the enemy. The brush is also capable of absorbing water, in addition, it can be used to paint pictures.
When activated, the brush increases in size. The handle becomes like a belemnite shell. Thorainer is now able to transform earth and air into water at will, recreating primordial waters. They can move and breathe.
In these waters, after some time, the primitive creatures of the ocean will begin to appear. From bottom-crawling trilobites to ferocious dunkleosteus. Forrainer cannot control them, but they do not attack him as long as he keeps a brush with him.
Description:
Likes: ocean, sea, draw the sea
Dislikes: none
Foreigner’s True name is Hovhannes Ayvazyan, aka Ivan Aivazovsky, Russian marine painter of Armenian origin, collector, philanthropist. Painter of the General Naval Staff, active Privy Councilor, academician and honorary member of the Imperial Academy of Arts, honorary member of the Academies of Arts in Amsterdam, Rome, Paris, Florence and Stuttgart.
Aivazovsky, unlike many Foreigners, does not look like a madman. He is a polite and kind person, a patriot of his country, open to the culture of other nations.
Nevertheless, Foreigner has his own quirk - he is completely and completely obsessed with the seas and oceans. He will definitely bring any conversation to this topic. He is friendly to all the "creations of the ocean", to which he refers all living organisms born on Earth. In relation to creatures of extraterrestrial origin, Ivan will be at a loss and wariness. Aivazovsky, despite his kindness, is still ready to fight, but he will only fight to protect himself, the master, or those who cannot fight back.
In 1842, in the Bay of Biscay, the ship on which the artist sailed fell into a severe storm and almost sank. In the Parisian newspapers the next morning, there were reports of the death of the marine painter. However, everything ended well. Already in the autumn of 1844, Aivazovsky returned to Russia. But everything could have ended much more deplorably for the artist, if not for the help of one Outer God.
Ubbo-Sathla, that which gave life to everything on Earth long before the gods visited this planet. The deity saved the life of an artist who painted the sea. The artist continued to paint the sea, thanking the deity for this.
Relations
Seafaring Servants — Proud children who heard the call of the Ocean-father and the Sea-mother. Let me immortalize you in pictures
Altera - Who are you, child? You aren't a creature of the ocean. Are you lost? Tell me where is your home?
Notes: Ubbo-Sathla is the deity who appeared in the short story of the same name by Clark Ashton Smith, who in this story gave birth to all life on Earth. It will be very interesting if Type-Moon pays attention to this story and decides to implement it. Perhaps they will make water the blood of Ubbo-Sathla from which life originated - why not a prototype of mythical stories about the creation of the world from a living being (Tiamat among the Sumerians, Ymir among the Scandinavians, Hong Dun among the Chinese)
Creator Notes
The eyes of the armoured suit dimmed as a softly glowing blade struck through the glowing core and out the other side of the copy of the famous comic hero. As the blade was withdrawn, pieces of metal that seemed to have miraculously cracked around it were jostled out of place, falling to the floor with a chorus of soft metallic pings.
“They really don’t seem to stop coming do they?” Muttered the wielder, stowing the sword in its scabbard and allowing the shield to fade away in a shower of blue particles. He still had no idea why he had seemingly been summoned in the middle of some American town, although the legion of various strange assailants was obviously a massive clue, and a functional reason for the moment. Considering that this red and gold suit was the sixteenth he’d destroyed, and it wasn’t the only one he’d had to kill multiple times, it seems something, or someone, was making them.
“-areful lad, it sounded like there was some fighting nearby. Someone else is here.” came a gruff voice from not that far away. Saber smiled, rolling his shoulders to relieve some imagined tension as he turned the way the sound had emerged. It seemed he wasn’t the only one running around out here fighting these things. Might be worth checking in on. Worst case scenario, it was another fight. Best case? Some answers.
Move at a sedate pace, he rounded the corner to walk face first into a bit of an odd group. A viking with a spear that glowed with phantasmal runes, a modern ish military officer with a notebook open, a purple haired girl with a massive shield, and a mage in a tight bodysuit. “Well, that’s a varied set of faces!” Joked the Saber, smiling at the somewhat surprised looks the four had.
The spear wielding viking was the first to respond, shifting in front of the mage and holding his weapon at the ready. “You got an interesting soul there lad. Mind telling us who you are?” Stated the bear of a man, muscles tensing almost unnoticeably. Well, unnoticeably to anyone less experienced than Saber.
His smile not fading, Saber motioned to the two clearly visible hilts. “I’d say it’s pretty obvious I’m Saber. As for the exact who, well-” as he went to respond, his eyes caught a flicker. Concentrating caused thousands of alien letters to appear for a second, changing in ways that only pointed to one thing. They weren’t alone. “-that can wait till we’ve attended to our guests, don’t you agree?”
Saber wasn’t even finished closing his mouth when a number of the usual assailants came out of the surroundings. Green giants, red and gold armours, patriotic shielders and others came to assail them. Deciding a warning was warranted the saber called out. “You might not want to get too close to me!” With that, he activated his skill, feeling the draining wave flow out from him. The effect was immediate, as the attackers closest to him slowed noticeably as their will to do… well, anything, diminished.
Drawing both blades, he charged, cleaving through enemies as strikes, and the odd spell, barely made him pause. Even as each foe he felled seemed to get replaced with another, he continued to increase in strength, ignoring attacks in favour of delivering devastating ones of his own. Yet, when an alarm seemed to go off in his head, he immediately dropped, allowing a bolt of lightning that would have been nasty to pass on by.
Seeing a levitating mage approaching the viking responsible, he sent a spear of shadow into the things side as he jokingly shouted at the spear wielder. “Watch it! I don’t feel like getting an electric shave!”
He saw the man's shoulder’s bob slightly, and took that to mean his humour was appreciated. Deciding to end this little scuffle, he shifted the probabilities into a form that had proved incredibly useful so far. Combining it with the sword in his left hand, he poured energy into the blade till the crystal was leaking red. Knowing it wouldn’t affect his newfound allies, he released his phantasm.
“Be swallowed by this forbidden strike! Dolorous Blade!”
With that and a wide slash of his blade, a wave of deep red curse launched from his blade. The wave grew with each second, and while it passed his allies harmlessly, the attackers it met where utterly destroyed on the spot. Sheathing his blades as his smile fell, Saber finally finished their question. “Now, with that done, you can call me Balin Le Savage.”
Developer Notes
Last edited by Legendary Hero of the Chain; November 29th, 2022 at 09:42 AM.
Gaze upon the Throne of Heroes!(Servant Compendium)
Hmm
Certainly not a bad sheet. You paint some good pictures with this one.
But it does not hit the Foreigner vibe yet (btw i havent seen so many ways to typo Foreigner in a while)
If you did not mention his class, one might believe he would be Berserker perhaps. The creepiness is missing, but its not always needed. Sometimes the lack of it is creepy in itself.
But for that the impact and scale of the outer god needs to be explained. Their outer god is tagged on and you take the source material "too serious".
Ubbo is not the source of all life in the nasuverse. He may be in his world, but not in this one. Outer Gods are not from the nasu-earth, but they try to get their hands on it by finding mortal vessels and they communicate through dreams. The history of the world we write for needs to be respected and the hplverse has to be respected in this context.
So how to improve? Idk enough about the history of marine biology at his time, but if it wasnt developed enough, ubbo may made him think that the marine creatures he sends are the proper prototypes of our world, simply accepting something grotesque as natural, making his demeanor really weird. And the water he creates could be strange in substance, referencing the protoplastic body of ubbo. His music skill is as an effect fine, but to use the skill of high class musicians on one someone of his renown is a bit too much imo, even if the rank is lowered. Just make a personal skill out of it. Perhaps find a decently famous painting of his that may have a name relevant to sounds. As a background for this skill, the earth actually emits a silent humm due to the waves churning on the ocean floor or something. It was recorded few years ago. One can do something with that for the purpose of this foreigner. The landscape skill can be simply a "Seascape".
I never heard of that guy, a shame because after searching his name, he got good art.
If you do an artist, show their art. At least in the NP if they use a specific painting.
All for now
"Let's see the color of your coin, my friend."
Behold my vault of Heroes.
Where the Heavens and the Abyss breath the Music of Humanity.
The King's duty is to provide. And provide, I shall.
University of Formatting | Gallery of Potential | Memorandum of the Extra Class Kings
Our Kingdom will grow. And we shall know each citizen.
Create-a-Servant 4 soon.
I'll take note. If there is time and opportunity, I will edit Aivazovsky and post version 2.0
Really nice Balin sheet, kinda surprised that he isn’t eligible as Bersekrer, but I guess Avenger kinda covers that too
We don't need sanity where we're going !
Yeah, it was a really long argument in my mind on whether I should pull the Berserker trigger or not, but I held off because of the way I decided to write his lore. His 'reality' in this version is that, whilst he could be considered a little crazy because of value dissonance, he never really went mad in his life, meaning he wouldn't qualify for Berserker. In contrast, his recorded versions have this feature, and since his Avenger form focuses on his Hatred for those who distorted who he was, going from a flawed, but good man, to a careless destroyer that, although not without redeeming features, is far more a monster/demon than his reality. At least, that's what the consensus has become.
TL;DR: In this version, his reason to have madness enhancement directly links to why he has Avenger as a class, so any possible Berserker form gets assimilated.
Gaze upon the Throne of Heroes!(Servant Compendium)
Good to see your back to posting sheets here. Can’t wait to see William blake and viracocha. I’m also curious about what your going to do with stan lee and George Lucas.
I don’t have much to say except that I really like the FC here (even if it clashes with the roundtable aesthetic in fate). I’m also confused about what his bond CE is (did tolkien alter his phantasm into his stranger form? What does it even do?)
Perhaps it does clash, but I can argue that whilst he was an ally, he was never a member. So he doesn't have to fit.
As for the CE, detailed would be in the actual singularity write out, but the cliff notes is that Tolkien managed to summon Stranger Balin, who's true Dolorous Stroke helped destroy the singularity. As for what it does... the Dolorous stroke, with all that entails.
Gaze upon the Throne of Heroes!(Servant Compendium)
I am really loving this Balin sheet. The interpretation of his legend and character is what sells it for me. I will wait patiently for his Avenger version.
Guys, I need help. What is the best way to describe the Guilty Monster skill?
If there was just a place to ask something like that...
What is guilty monster? Innocent monster is changes in the saint graph due to false negative believes
Our Guilty Angel skill is the opposite, false positive believes are accrued
Guilty monster would be someone known for being an asshole being one as a servant too
Thats not a skill but a core element of summoning
"Let's see the color of your coin, my friend."
Behold my vault of Heroes.
Where the Heavens and the Abyss breath the Music of Humanity.
The King's duty is to provide. And provide, I shall.
University of Formatting | Gallery of Potential | Memorandum of the Extra Class Kings
Our Kingdom will grow. And we shall know each citizen.
Create-a-Servant 4 soon.
I'm talking about the case when the servant himself collected rumors around him. Or is it better to make the Servant able to affect his Innocent Monster skill on his own in order to get more bonuses and remain himself?
Why do you continue to ignore the idea thread. And that kind of skill already exists with Nobunaga's Demon King skill, complete with being able to change her appearance at will.
Canine Shogun
Class: Berserker
True Name: Tokugawa Tsunayoshi
Alignment: Lawful Evil
Place of Origin: Japan
Armament: claws, jaws, sword
STRENGE — B
ENDURANCE — C
AGILITY — B
MANA — C
LUCK — C
NP — B
Class skills:
Mad Enhancement (B)
The Class Skill that characterizes a Berserker, raising basic parameters and strengthens one's physical abilities in exchange of hindering mental capacities and/or in exchange for their sense of reason. Rank up for all parameters, but most of one's reason is robbed.
Berserker, by virtue of its characteristics, has the behavior of a dog. He retained his personality, but you should remember about his inhuman psyche
Personal skills:
Innocent Monster(B)
An attribute possessed by Servants whose true history and existence have been distorted by the monstrous reputations and gossips they accrued across the course of their life and thereafter, without concern for the actual person's will or appearance. As a consequence, the Servant's abilities and appearance have been rendered to conform to the specifications of their legend.
The Berserker is a large humanoid Shiba Inu dog. Berserker is not burdened by his position, he is even glad of his new body. Of the minuses - he is not capable of human speech. Berserker communicates by barking or growling
Dialogue with Animals(A+)
It is communication of intention with animals that do not speak a "language of words". Since it's not like the intellect of the animals improve, very complex nuances are not conveyed. Due to his deeds in life, Berserker has a high skill in communicating with animals. He is most good at communicating with dogs, he can even make his familiars out of them.
Noble Phantasm:
Oinusama
Sword of Dog Gratitude
C
For homeless dogs, whose flocks teemed with the capital of the state, by order of Berserker, for the first time in world history, a network of shelters was created. One of them - for 50,000 dogs, is located in the vicinity of the capital. All these countless dogs are embodied in his blade. It is a massive nodachi that Berserker holds with one hand. Its blade is made in the form of a dog's mouth, the handle resembles a dog's body with paws and a tail. Berserker mainly fights with claws and jaws. If he uses this blade, then after the battle he will ask his forgiveness.
This NP cannot be used against animals, moreover, it deals increased damage to people who have ever harmed animals, especially dogs.
However, that's not all this NP can do. Inside it are all the dogs that Berserker helped. All of them are ready to defend Berserker in return. The berserker does not give them orders - dog heads can break out of the sword at any moment to bite the enemy, they can scratch, releasing paws with claws from the blade. Moreover - in especially extreme cases, monstrous creatures can escape from the sword, fusions of dogs loyal exclusively to Berserker.
Description:
Likes: Animals, especially dogs, nature
Dislikes: People and their society, flayers
Natural enemy: 47 ronin, animal tormentors
Berserker’s True name is Tokugawa Tsunayoshi, The 5th shogun of the Tokugawa dynasty, the feudal ruler of Japan, who led the country from 1680 to 1709. Also known as the Canine Shogun.
Tokugawa in this form is entirely Canine Shogun. He is not capable of normal communication with people - he can take a smile for a demonstration of his teeth and, therefore, a challenge to fight. Moreover, he does not perceive people as equals at all, Tsunayoshi is completely indifferent to their pain, suffering and death. If he has to kill a child, he will do it with cold blood, as if he were crushing a fly.
In relation to dogs, Tokugawa, on the contrary, shows amazing care. When meeting with a homeless dog, he will always bow to him. Dog owners should be careful when meeting with Tokugawa - if he decides that the dog is not treated with enough courtesy, he may well free the dog, at times by killing the owners.
In general, when dealing with Tsunayoshi, the Master should be careful. Berserker sees people as a threat and is always ready to attack, though he can be patient with the master and warn him with a growl.
Relations
Cú Chulainn — At the sight of him, Berserker goes into an uncontrollable rage. Not recommended to keep them together
Notes: Has anyone done a sheet for this guy yet?
- - - Updated - - -
I will upload art later
You can search his name in Search Thread up aboveHas anyone done a sheet for this guy yet?
I'll preface anything I say by mentioning that I had no idea who Tokugawa Tsunayoshi was, up until doing a bit of speed-research right now.
So, regarding the sheet: I'll be honest, I don't like it. Because even just speed reading a few articles showed me that there was so much more that could have gone into the sheet than what there actually is. What you did write is okay, but there are some things that seem a bit off just at a glance, for example, when I first read the sheet I had no idea why this guy would be a Berserker, initially I thought maybe Saber since you made his NP a sword or Caster because it's a blanket class that can fit a lot of nobles. After reading a little about him, I would concur that Berserker is absolutely a good fit for him, given his general kind of manic behaviour, but those are things that could have been in the sheet to enhance it.
Also, Innocent Monster and Mad Enhancement, the way they are brought in here, I would say, are a bit redundant, because all both state is in essence: "He acts and looks like a Shiba Inu". Instead, for example, the flavour text space in Mad Enhancement could have been used to talk about his very strict beliefs and religious mania that, in part, seems to have driven him to what he did, whereas the Innocent Monster skill's space could have been used to explain more about his laws on dogs directly.
There was more to this guy than just "He likes dogs, like a lot", but that's kind of what this sheet boils down to. As far as I understand this man was responsible of accidentally making smuggling a big thing in Japan, he banned prostitution and women working in tea houses in an attempt to raise living standard and the fact that his protection laws for dogs actually ended up having severe bad consequences is mentioned nowhere. Also, perhaps this is just a personal thing, but I just find it odd that the name of the edicts that contained those animal protection laws, the "Edicts on Compassion for Living Things", is omitted from the sheet. Would have been a killer name for an NP me thinks.
Overall, there's just a lot more that could have been done here and it would have made the sheet much better as a result.
There are few sheets on the forum lately. If things go like this, then only my concepts will be on the forum, which is not so good. There are some servant ideas, some from Great war of Heroes
Nicolas-Joseph Cugnot (Rider, inventor of the automobile and the first to cause a car accident)
Naresuan the Great (Rider or Archer, King of Siam)
Elfego Baka (Archer or Berserker)
Lev Theremin (Caster or Foreigner, he created the theremin)
Stephen Hawking (Caster or Raider)
Jacques-Yves Cousteau (Foreigner, why not)
Auguste Piccard (Rider, uses Trieste bathyscaphe)
George Levick (Caster, penguin diary. Considering it's Antarctica... it's fine to use the penguins from Lovecraft's story)
There's plenty damn sheets on the Forum, as the '3' in the thread title subtly indicate. And again, there's a dedicated thread for Servant ideas. Plus no, it's actually not fine to shoehorn Lovecraft and Foreigner in every random sheet for no reason at all.
I heard someone write about burnout. It's better to submit an idea so that someone can overcome burnout.
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