Create-A-Servant 3

[Serra]

Alright here's some feedback for sheets from page 391 up to now (with the exception of 1- Ambrose, which I already addressed, 2- Miklós Toldi, given that his sheet is still very incomplete, and of course, 3- Nasshut, since that's my own sheet lol).

Fujiwara no Chikata: The extreme second weakness of the second noble phantasm being counterbalanced by the change in appearance making it difficult to discern is a neat idea but if, as stated in the personality section, they introduce themselves by their name to see others tremble at its sound, then it kind of defeats the purpose. Good first sheet overall though, I approve.

Cerberus: The idea of the three heads translating to three personalities is neat, though I personally wouldn't have referenced a real life mental condition by name given that it's something magically induced. Skillset and NP look good, and there's enough information to get a coherent idea of how he might play out after being summoned. Keep it up!

Titus Manlius Imperiosus Torquatus: I love the contract NP, it's great. Neat skillset too. However, about Battlefield Discipline: even Charisma E enhances the battlefield capabilities of troops considerably even if it diminishes their morale as a result, so does the comparison to Charisma B mean that troops' morale is increased by Battlefield Discipline even though they risk suffering horribly for their mistakes? That aside, given his attitude towards the Republic and the Empire, I wonder how he feels about Tarquinius Superbus, last king of Rome.

Anna Pavlova / Odette: Ah, the superior swan servant to my Nasshut lol. I agree with DelRey that Combined Saint Graph does kind of feel like an unnecessary Skill here. It feels like you kind of needed to put a twist Odette's feelings about her end to get the sheet to be cohesive. The characterisation and development here are very strong all throughout the whole sheet. Extremely impressive and high-effort.

Amphitrite & Delphin: Great sheet overall; I love the usage of the whole 'third' theme and the cores of Poseidon, as well as the dialogue of course. The baseline it draws for Nereids as a defence force is interesting, too. I wish Delphin had the possibility of actually being happy though lol

Susanoo-no-Mikoto: A power-of-love kind of character in a way who despite the quips and lighthearted exterior is at a relative low point and only really regains the confidence to take on the role of a god eventually through love. The character comes through well and the skillset is good. Nice job!

Lyudmila Pavlichenko: Skillset and NPs are good, but some of the characterisation bits go a tad too hard into directly referencing current events for my taste. Of course I'm not at all on Russia's side on those and consider what's going on in Ukraine as a war and an invasion, but this sheet honestly feels somewhat too blunt and unsubtle in certain parts.

Clifton Stockwell and Maximillian von Sinner: The Skills and NP feel perfectly fitting, yet I can't really see how this'd play out in a Holy Grail War in practice and it's hard to envision what kind of odd circumstances would cause their summoning in the first place. It's an odd feeling, but I think you did a great job overall.

jishara's sheets in general: Very minimal, but typically fine, and certainly improving bit by bit. In my opinion, ideally, these sheets'd have a bit more on their lives and on their outlook on what they've gone through, but it's fine if you get your backlog posted and then eventually go more in depth on what you find yourself pivoting towards the most.

Pareidolia: Very, very well written. This sheet doesn't exist, but if it did, it would be a banger. When you think about it, it's actually fairly similar to how magecraft itself works under some aspects - reproductions of possible phenomena through unexplained means. It seems extremely difficult to disprove within the setting, which is fine, because it not really existing but continuously appearing to exist would still influence a story greatly. I also love the little touch of the possibility of its would-be Master growing overconfident in their belief that it does indeed exist and begin to overrely on it, and the whole fact that someone believes it to be summoned due to the disconnect between the act of summoning and its result. Pretty amazing overall, and definitely one of my new favourites.

Euclid: I love that NP, it seems so fun! Whenever he uses it, reading the sort of proofs he'd come up with each time would be amazing. This does feel like a teaser for more related content, probably to do with the Demiurge, but it definitely has enough peculiarities to be fascinating on its own. Great work.

[DelRey]

i like the slick formatting
makes me remember I yearn for new info on Foreigner Euclid. She is on my to-do list afterall

[WhiteFrenzy]

Hey look, I swear I thought Kiwi posted something but... How strange, there's nothing here... Huh.

Oh, it must be Euclid, then. Of course it is. It couldn't be anything else.
BUT SERIOUSLY? TWO AMAZING SHEETS BACK TO BACK? I could never. You're the best. The second one, especially, was such a wild ride. I love the concept, I love the execution, I love the journey and I also love the formatting you choose. What can I say at this point? Teach me your ways? PLEASE?

[NINE-lives]

I wonder. Are we seeing the dawn of a new generation of beast lair servant creators?

[pinetree]

Question: Would you guys mind if I used one of your Servants in my TTRPG?

I've never used someone else's creation but I did plan to. I never thought to ask because, since it was just a personal thing between me and my friends, I don't see any harm in it.
But considering I started posting the campaign settings on the Create a Singularity thread, and plan to post Campaign Diaries, that'd mean using them publicly there (properly sourced, of course).

So, does anyone here care?

[BnEl15]

I don't mind. Would be nice to see what other creators can do with my sheets.

[DelRey]

It would be an honor to see my stuff in capable hands
I was hyped when wyvern used baldr in his Kino sheet

[Serra]

You can go ahead and use any of mine, I'd love to see what could come out of it. Thanks for asking!

[WhiteFrenzy]

That's so SO cool of you, I hope it works out! (I know I'd be terrified of using others' characters so I admire those who are brave enough) And if any of my unruly children is enough for this amazing endeavor, go ahead and bully them.

[RoydGolden]

I don't mind if you use one of my characters in a roleplay. I'm pretty sure some people already have on other forums actually.

[Ismail2002]

Question: Would you guys mind if I used one of your Servants in my TTRPG?

I've never used someone else's creation but I did plan to. I never thought to ask because, since it was just a personal thing between me and my friends, I don't see any harm in it.
But considering I started posting the campaign settings on the Create a Singularity thread, and plan to post Campaign Diaries, that'd mean using them publicly there (properly sourced, of course).

So, does anyone here care?

It would be an honor if you ended using any of mine in the campaign

[jishara]

Character Image/Faceclaim: (Kuluua)
(Keahi)

Source: Astrocatsama on twitter (Kuluua), PeakPx (Keahi)

Class: Assasin
Other Classes: N/A
True Name: Hina Keahi, Hina Kuluua
Alignment: Neutral Good
Place of Origin: Hawaiian Mythology

Parameters:

STR: C(Keahi)/B(Kuluua)
END: B(Keahi)/C(Kuluua)
AGI: C
MGI: B
LCK: B(Keahi)/D(Kuluua)
NP: B

Height: 190 cm (Keahi), 180 cm (Kuluua)
Weight: 180 lbs (Keahi), 160 lbs (Kuluua)
Likes: Kuluua, her people (Keahi) Keahi(sometimes), adoration (Kuluua)
Dislikes: Shirkers of potential (Both), Keahi (sometimes) (Kuluua), destruction (Keahi)
Talent: Sacrificing herself (Keahi), Jealousy (Kuluua)
Natural Enemy: Keahi (Kuluua), Quetzalcoatl (Both)
Attribute: Sky
Traits: Weak to Enuma Elish, Divine, Female, Duo
Armament: No weapons they hold
Catalyst: A vial of hawaiian fog with some lava.

Class Skills:
Presence Concealment C+: They are able to conceal themselves fairly easily. Ranked-up on Kuluua due to her status as a goddess of rain and fog allowing her to be more easily obscured.

Personal Skills:
Combination A-: The two sisters normally work very effectively together, thus boosting their power as they fight in sync. However, if Keahi does something incredibly impressive, Kuluua gets jealous, and this skill ranks down.
Charisma B (Keahi): The charisma of the famed ruler who sacrificed even herself for the people. All allies of hers become more powerful.
Core of the Goddess (Fire) (Keahi): Keahi gains this skill, symbolizing her status as a perfected goddess from birth. She is resistant to mental and physical effects, and immune to fire not controlled by a greater god.
Core Of The Goddess (Kuluua): Kuluua gains this skill, symbolising her status as a perfected goddess from birth. She is resistant to mental and physical effects.
Mana Burst (Fire) (Keahi) and Water (Kuluua): Keahi has the ability to control her mana into waves of flame, as a goddess of fire. Kuluua instead controls it into powerful water waves as a goddess of the Water.[/COLLAPSE]

Noble Phantasm(s):

Pyre
Red Hair For Burning Heart


Type: Anti-Fortress
Rank: B
Range: 100 Meters
Max Targets: 1 million people

This noble phantasm is Keahi's noble phantasm and is the sublimation of Keahi sacrificing herself to bring her people food. When invoked, her spiritual body burns away and floods the surroundings with mana, revitalizing the crops and plants while boosting her allies. However, after that is invoked, Keahi cannot remanifest for three hours, the sublimation of the three days before she returned.

Rain Dance
Flood Out Monsoon

Type: Anti-Fortress
Rank: B
Range: 100 Meters
Max targets: 1 million people

This noble phantasm is Kuluua's noble phantasm and is the sublimation of Kuluua's jealousy which caused so much rain to pour down that the crops were over-watered and died, and her people starved. When invoked, a flood of rain pours down. Each raindrop doesn't do much in raw power, but burns away mana of everything it touches, blighting the area. Humans will be almost entirely unaffected, but Maguses will be hit hard and Servants will be close to destroyed.

Lore: Hina Keahi and Hina Kuluua are a pair of sisters and children of the moon goddess Hina. Keahi was a goddess of lava and Kuluua a goddess of rain. They each ruled over a hill, but Keahi's hill went through a drought and her people started to starve. So, she ordered an Imu built and sacrificed herself in it. She told her people, on the third day after my sacrifice, I shall be back with food. So on that third day, the people saw her and the food. Meanwhile, Kuluua was getting jealous. So jealous that rain flooded her hill and overwatered the crops, destroying them and causing the people to starve. So Kuluua decided to do the same thing as Keahi. But she didn't remember that rain doesn't mix well with fire. She sacrificed herself and said the same things, but after the third day she didn't return. Finally, after the fifth day, the villagers checked and found simply ashes. And it is said Kuluua can be seen as a raincloud even today.

Personality:
They are both genuinely kind people, but Kuluua is prone to jealousy easily. Their wish for the grail would be that Kuluua was able to get food for the people, and maintain her adoration rating.

Relationships:
Quetzalcoatl: "Master, that is a goddess right? Is she shirking her responsibilities? How dare she? As a goddess, her duty is to her people, much like ours is to ours."
Artemis: "Peculiar. Cruel and naive, innocent and foolish, just be wary of her. She doesn't seem that she is telling the whole truth."
Orion: "So the teddy bear... was this? Really? Extremely peculiar."

Creator Notes: Update

[ThompsonContender]

Can someone give me a template? Also can I do marx even if someone else did it?

[Serra]

Can someone give me a template? Also can I do marx even if someone else did it?

Absolutely - there are several Servant sheets here that have multiple versions by different creators, feel free to go for Marx regardless of how many Marx sheets already exist.
There is no single template we all use, but you could start with the one mentioned in the Monthly Contest

Character Image/Faceclaim:
Source:

Class:
Other Classes:(If Applicable)
True Name:
Alignment:
Place of Origin:

Parameters:

STR:
END:
AGI:
MGI:
LCK:
NP:

Height:
Weight:
Likes:
Dislikes:
Talent:
Natural Enemy:
Attribute:
Traits:
Armament:
Catalyst:

Class Skills:

Personal Skills:

Noble Phantasm(s):

Noble Phantasm Name
Noble Phantasm Title


Type:
Rank:
Range:
Max Targets:

Lore:

Personality:

Relationships:

Creator Notes:

If you want fancier formatting, you can look at this thread and Delrey's advanced formatting guide. You can also use 'Reply With Quote' to see another post's formatting.

[Anju Addams]

Question: Would you guys mind if I used one of your Servants in my TTRPG?

I've never used someone else's creation but I did plan to. I never thought to ask because, since it was just a personal thing between me and my friends, I don't see any harm in it.
But considering I started posting the campaign settings on the Create a Singularity thread, and plan to post Campaign Diaries, that'd mean using them publicly there (properly sourced, of course).

So, does anyone here care?

As long as you ask, sure. Happy to lend you them.

[RoydGolden]

"Servant Rider, commander of the earthen ships has answered your call. So long as I'm by your side my bold strategies will definitely carry you to victory! Eh, my appearance? That's just the gods and their weird preferences, please ignore it... unless you want to spoil me in which case I'm fine with that too, ehehe."

Servant Rider:

Appearance:

Source

True Name: Cinyras

Alignment: Neutral Good

Alternate Classes: Lancer, Caster

Strength- C
Agility- B
Endurance- C
Mana- B
Luck- C-
NP- C

Personality

Passionate and honorable. An aficionado for the arts of both music and romance Rider enjoys playing instruments and wooing beautiful women. While having mixed-feelings about his current babyfaced appearance as it results from the image his divine patrons foisted on him Rider has no qualms incorrigibly abusing it to get attention from the opposite sex. A pretty-faced boy king with a shameless personality. Though he does have strong morals and would never trick a woman to do something she doesn't want.

Rider has a cunning side and is adept at launching unconventional strategies that seem like they couldn't possibly work. However his track-record is a little dubious as some of Rider's plans will fall through due to him getting carried away by an impressive-sounding concept. In other words he values coolness over practicality. Rider is leery of the gods as while he generally respects them he recognizes their favor can be fickle and just as easily turn to disaster. His wish on the Holy Grail is to revive his daughter Smyrna and make amends to her.

Likes: arts, music, romance
Dislikes: relying on the gods, his later life
Talents: sailing, playing instruments, outrageous ploys
Natural Enemy: Agamemnon, Smyrna

Class Skills:

Riding- N/A
The ability to ride animals and handle vehicles. Due to being overwritten by his Voyager Of The Storm Personal Skill this has been lost.

Magic Resistance- C+/-
Confers protection against magical effects. At this rank spells with a chant below two verses are cancelled. Cannot cope against the likes of High Thaumaturgy or Greater Rituals. Depending on which of Rider's blessings or curses from the gods are active this Skill obtains a + or - modifier to defending against light, music, water or seduction Magecraft.

If summoned as Caster he'd have...

Territory Creation- EX
The ability to formulate a territory advantageous to oneself as a Magus. Through his Noble Phantasm Cinyras may (re)establish the Temple of Aphrodite he consecrated in life.

Item Construction- B
A talent to craft items tinted in magical energy. Through support from Cyprus' Mages Cinyras may create a variety of Mystic Codes and familiars by moulding them from earth.

Personal Skills:

Spite

Affection

Of The Gods- A-
A Skill that denotes one being loved by the gods. Affection is from the gods Apollo and Aphrodite whom Rider lent his patronage to in life. Beloved of Apollo (whom he possibly possessed divine ancestry from) Rider was also the one who first introduced worship of Aphrodite to Cyprus, having established a temple-complex where she supposedly first set foot after emerging from the sea. Aside from ranking up all parameters, this Skill has different effects depending on which deity's blessing he taps into.

For Apollo and his status as inventor of musical instruments he gains Protection Of The Music God (True) at rank C giving bonuses to the practice of music-based Magecraft while Aphrodite ranks up her "high-priest's" Golden Rule (Body) and grants divination Magecraft from the rites performed at her temple. However as both gods resulted in his demise in different versions of his legend there is a moderate chance for either of these blessings to invert into curses and instead heavily demark Rider's Luck parameter when he tries to call upon them. As such he's rather leery to rely on divine aid once again.

Incidentally, Rider manifesting in the form of an androgynous young boy as a Servant despite it not being the height of his physical prowess was enforced by a unanimous decree from both his divine patrons that "pretty-boys are the best". Despite it being another example of them stringing mortals along on their selfish whims, as it helps distance Rider from the tragedies of his later life he truthfully doesn't mind too much.

Golden Rule (Wealth & Body)- B+
A composite Skill expressing one's fortune in attracting wealth as well as possession of a natural and perfect godlike body. Rider was said to be tremendously wealthy and have a beautiful body. The latter aspect can be further strengthened by his blessing from Aphrodite, rendering Rider's sensuality nearly irresistible.

Voyager Of The Storm- C
A talent to sail vessels recognized as ships. Because capability as a group leader is included, this unique Skill also carries the effect of Charisma and Military Tactics at the same rank. Having set sail to found a new kingdom on the island of Cyprus Rider possesses this Skill. It's also been reinforced by the anecdote of the 50 ships he sent to aid Agamemnon.

Noble Phantasm

Mygdalion Eidolos

The False Fleet

Rank: B

Type: Anti-Army

A crystallization of the fake fleet Rider sent to assist Agamemnon. Promising 50 ships only one commanded by his son Mygdalion was true, while the other 49 were mere imitations sculpted of clay and manned by an equally earthen crew. An audacious trick by the great king whose real fleet was occupied fending off an invasion from the rival nation of Tyre.

...At least, that's how the tale is commonly told. What's been forgotten by history is that the 49 ships were actually creations by Cyprus' finest Mages and endowed with true functionality. As a Noble Phantasm Rider may summon any of them which owing to their dual nature can sail over both land and sea, plowing over everything in their path. Crewing the ships are golems comparable to low-grade Phantasmal Beasts that are resistant to harm with their bodies comprised of solid earth.

Rider may also summon a single ship of normal make that serves as central control terminal for the others. While atop it he's capable of linking his senses to the other 49 ships and commanding them independently. While Rider can summon a single ship and control it or let them follow autonomous programming he's only able to direct the full fleet from within the central terminal. Should it be destroyed, the fleet's overall functionality would be severely disrupted. Incidentally, while a marvelous idea it was this weakness that lead to the formation's ineffectuality in proper history. The control seat piloted by his son Mygdalion was destroyed early in the war rendering the rest mostly useless without his guidance.

Summoning all 50 ships would expend a rather intensive amount of Mana so Rider usually just manifests about five or ten at a time including the central one.

If summoned as Lancer he'd have...

Smyrna Myrrh

Corruption Of My Daughter

Rank: C

Type: Anti-Unit, Anti-Mind

A Noble Phantasm representing the legend where Cinyras' daughter Smyrna became consumed by mad lust for him and attempted to procreate with her father under cloak of darkness. When he discovered the deception Cinyras disgusted and furious pursued his daughter with a sword whereupon she prayed to the gods to transform her into a myrrh tree. The child born from the bark of that tree was the hero Adonis who also possessed a fate of being loved and cursed by the gods.

As a Noble Phantasm the tree that was once his beloved daughter's body has been reinterpreted into a spear Cinyras wields. Made of living myrrh wood, its shaft and tip constantly drips with golden sap. Carrying the curse of Aphrodite, this sap is akin to a potent divine aphrodisiac that numbs inhibitions and brings out the sensual desires in anyone exposed to it. While just handling the spear for anyone other than Cinyras himself without protection physical or magical is enough to induce a mild tingly buzz and urge to act out their desires in minor ways the greatest effects of this Noble Phantasm are when the blade pierces their bodies, even the slightest cut giving an opening for the sap to seep into their bloodstream directly.

Repeated blows will render the target a slavish thrall to their cravings, gratifying them without morals or constraint. Combined with his Golden Rule (Body) Skill Cinyras' own sensuality becomes irresistible to the point where the opponent completely loses their will to fight or resist him. This effect lasts until the sap naturally wears off from their system, after which the victim will usually be clutched by horror and regret at the things they'd done while under its influence.

As a mental interference this can be resisted by Skills or Noble Phantasms like Bravery and Soul Of A Martyr warding off attacks on the psyche at rank C or higher. Those without any carnal desires such as true Saints or simply asexual people will also be unaffected by its curse. Furthermore out of regrets over his daughter's fate and just how it violates his own morals Cinyras himself completely detests this ability of his Noble Phantasm and keeps it sealed as much as possible by wrapping sacred warding bandages around the shaft. If he does use it, it'd only be to incapacitate the target and never do anything more to them.

---

So this is probably the last sheet I'll be posting up here in a while. As usual comments and critiques would be welcome. Thanks for reading y'all!

[jishara]

Source: Goodfon.com

Class: Rider
Other Classes: Avenger
True Name: Leda
Alignment: Lawful Evil
Place of Origin: Greek Mythology

Parameters:

STR: B
END: D
AGI: C
MGI: D
LCK: C
NP: A

Height: 6'9"
Weight: 190 lbs
Likes: Her children, torturing others
Dislikes: Humanity, the gods
Talent: Commanding swans
Natural Enemy: Achilles
Attribute: Earth
Traits: Female, Humanoid
Armament: Her bare hands
Catalyst: An ancient swan feather found in Greece.

Class Skills:
Riding B: She can ride some animals easily, but no Phantasmal Beasts. However, she can still ride Kyknos Keraunos.
Magic Resistance C: She lived in the Age Of Gods and so has this rank, but never faced any magic in life.

Personal Skills:
Affection Of The King Of Gods B-: As one of the lovers of the King Of Gods, she gains this skill, which ranks up her stats in battle. However, as he is fickle, this only takes effect about once every three times.
Innocent Monster (Swan) B: She has been conflated with the concept of a Swan due to Zeus transforming into one to seduce her. This grants her a pair of long swan-like wings and rank-ups to Agility and Strength. However, due to the true savagery of a swan, she also gains Sadistic Constitution at rank C, which seems to be part of the change to her mindset.
Mother Of Heroes C: The skill denoting the mother of a great hero of legend. Grants them some of the properties of the hero. In her case, due to being the mother of the Dioscuri, she gains Divinity C and Guardian Of Navigation C, which allows her to guide and direct people towards the right place.
Queen Of The Warriors B: The skill denotating her as the queen of a group of warriors. In her case, Sparta. Permanently ranks up her strength.

Noble Phantasm(s):

Kyknos Keraunos
Oh Swan Of The Stars, Spread Thy Wings And Soar


Type: Anti-Army
Rank: A
Range: 100 meters
Max Targets: 2000

This noble phantasm is the sublimation of Zeus transforming into a swan, and as such is a divine beast about the size of a horse which has the ability to breathe electricity and control storms. But it's not only that. Its true properties come from it also being the sublimation of the constellation Cygnus, and as such when invoked it utilizes that to enter Astral Form, granting Leda and it intangibility and invisibility for a short time, following which an explosion of heat akin to a supernova comes off of it. However, it does appear that it has changed significantly, becoming severely bloodthirsty.

Kyknou Ekdikisi
Swan Song Of The Queen Of Birds

Type: Anti-Unit
Rank: B
Range: 50 meters
Max Targets: 1

This noble phantasm is the sublimation of her rage at humanity for sapping her children's powers. When invoked, a powerful gust of wind emerges from beneath her wings. Whomever it strikes becomes sapped, their legend decaying and everything that they are weakening. Naturally, this has less effect on more modern servants, and close to none on mortals.

Lore:
Leda was a princess of Aetolia who married a king of Sparta, Tyndareus. She was admired by Zeus. So he transformed into a swan and seduced her. She had four children, with all four being children of Zeus. However, two of them, Castor and Clymmestra, were now believed to be children of Tyndareus.

Personality:
A formerly kind woman, now sadistic and grieving at the same time. She could theoretically also be summoned for the Avenger class. Her wish for the grail would be to restore the true reputation of her children as deities and restore their power. If this happens, her noble phantasm Kyknou Ekdikisi is permanantly sealed.

Relationships:
Dioscuri: "Oh! My children! How are you, my children? You have lost your divinity? You have lost your powers? Oh my poor dears. Don't worry, Mama will make everything better."
Achilles/Heracles/Odysseus/Medea/Jason: "Did you spread that horrible rumour? Did you cause my children to lose their divinity? If so, prepare to die."
Circe: "Honestly, you are a woman after my own heart. What's your favorite torture technique? I personally love blood races."

Creator Notes: Update

[pinetree]

Thanks for the answers, everyone.

Wow, Royd! I love the sheet! I especially love the NP ideas!
What do you think of my latest servants?

Friend, I don't mean to be rude but I gotta tell you since you've been asking for feedback so often.

Pumping out super short and simple sheets constantly is not how you entice people to care about and comment on your work. Personally, I feel less interested on them with each entry you put out.

[kiwi]

Pinetree I give you permission on the condition that you have to use Dodo, specifically. Godspeed.

Anyway I'm gonna write some stupid stuff now, gimme like an hour.

[pinetree]

You think this is a joke, kiwi? I fucking love birds my dude. I wrote bird gilgamesh.
Dodo is getting in and now all your Servants are mine to use.