I think it would have been better to use that other water bender lady. The blood bending one.
I think it would have been better to use that other water bender lady. The blood bending one.
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john constantnie class trickster truename john bloody constnatine paramters -- -- -- -- -- -- class skills laughing magician gets the last laugh personal skills dabbler good at occult ttalking good at talking running good at running dealing good at dealing luck good at luck syncrhoncity wave nescecary good at sriviving good at being charmnig puts on a show does tricks runs
lovely, NINE was that you again?
"Let's see the color of your coin, my friend."
Behold my vault of Heroes.
Where the Heavens and the Abyss breath the Music of Humanity.
The King's duty is to provide. And provide, I shall.
University of Formatting | Gallery of Potential | Memorandum of the Extra Class Kings
Our Kingdom will grow. And we shall know each citizen.
Create-a-Servant 4 soon.
I got my hopes up for a second and thought NINE actually made a sheet.
Oh well.
Source: Peakpx
Class: Lancer
Other Classes: N/A
True Name: Florence Foster Jenkins
Alignment: Lawful Good
Place of Origin: United States (20th century)
Parameters:
STR: D
END: C
AGI: C
MGI: D
LCK: B
NP: B
Height: 170cm
Weight: 150lbs
Likes: Her own singing, bringing joy to others
Dislikes: Mockery
Talent: Singing shrilly
Natural Enemy: Elizabeth Bathory
Attribute: Man
Traits: Female, Weak to Enuma Elish, Humanoid
Armament: Shrill F
Catalyst: One of her costumes
Class Skills:
Magic Resistance C: She met several magi in life, so learned how to resist weak spells. However, high-ranked spells cannot be resisted, and spells from the Age of Gods will completely bypass this.
Personal Skills:
Delusion Trigger E~C: A skill granted to those who have abnormally warped views of the world around them. Florence's view of the world wavers between believing she is the best singer to ever live and knowing that she isn't a good singer, but that no one can say that she didn't try and put emotion into it. If she is heavily wavered into believing that she is the best, it may bleed into the world around her, causing everyone to believe she is the best and most incredible. In addition, no matter this skill's rank, it permits her to fly via the costume wings on her back.
A Bright Light A: She was known to be an awful singer, but still admired by great celebrities and musicians, because her singing brought joy to everyone who heard it, just not in the way she thought it would. This passively causes every note she sings to place an effect of joy onto anyone who hears it, bringing them out of their negative emotions.
Encore C: The sublimation of her constantly being requested to play an encore, especially of Clavelitos. It manifests as the ability to invoke an encore. This Encore serves as a temporary Battle Continuation, though it only lasts for two and a half minutes, the duration of Clavelitos.
Noble Phantasm(s):
Shrill F
Carnegie Hall Mockery
Type: Anti-Army
Rank: B
Range: 100 meters
Max Targets: 1900 targets
This noble phantasm is the sublimation of singing, and the anecdote that when the taxicab she was in hit a car, she was able to scream a high F, the highest note she ever sung, and thus didn't sue and sent the driver a box of expensive cigars. It manifests in the form of a simple spear (though it seems more similar to a tuning fork). It bears the property of a shrill scream, allowing it to pass through physical defences below C rank, but get stopped by auditory defences. In addition, due to the idea that sopranos can shatter glass with their scream, it is able to attune to the frequency of an item, creating tiny fractures that are more vulnerable. In addition, if this noble phantasm is activated, it becomes the sublimation of her final concert, where she invited critics. It channels the mockery she received, charging it before releasing an Anti-Army attack that hits harder against people with more ego, symbolizing the mockery that broke her pride and joy in singing. In addition, it adds an effect of extremely intense sadness to those with greater legacies, which may cause Servants, who have naturally high legacies, to fall on the spot. However, her spiritual core fractures when she uses this, and after a day, she will immediately be eliminated from the war.
Lore: Florence Foster Jenkins was a socialite and amateur soprano who was known for her poor singing ability and flamboyant costumes. It is unclear whether she ever actually realized that her singing wasn't excellent. But many famous people made an effort to come to as many of her shows as they could, because every time they attended, they'd gain so much joy from the humor of her singing. Her final concert was at Carnegie Hall, and there, the critics finally were able to write about it. Five days later, she died of a heart attack.
Personality: A genuinely kind and helpful woman. She wishes that her singing will bring joy to people. However, her Delusion Trigger has warped her so much that she instead goes through periods where she believes she is the greatest in the world and periods where she believes she is worthless and simply causes hatred. Her wish for the grail, in both forms, would be to remove her delusion trigger.
Relationships:
Mozart: "La la La! Did you enjoy my special performance?" "It has brought me so much joy." "Wonderful!"
Phantom of the Opera: "No, I am not Christine! I am better. I am Florence! Hear me sing as I touch the sky!"
Jekyll and Hyde: "I understand your... plight. I am having a similar problem. I just want to remove it and find out who I truly am."
Scheherazade: "You are an absolutely incredible storyteller. Although I am an... awful singer, would you mind if I adapted some of your stories?"
Last edited by jishara; June 2nd, 2022 at 09:55 PM.
Florence Jenkins: Interesting to see a non-Foreigner take on her after Del's version. For Delusion Trigger, what are the effects caused by her delusions bleeding onto the world? Does it just make everyone around think she's a great singer or what? Also Encore feels more like the effect of an NP than a Skill IMO. I'd make it more of a Battle Continuation-like effect where she can rise back up after "ending" her performance. Lastly you say she has Riding because it's a Class Skill but Lancers don't actually have that. I read quickly and actually thought she was meant to be summoned as Rider at first because of that.
you are creative when it comes to making skills and NPs out of anecdotes but here it is a bit too much. If you want to give her wings, say it is a costume but DT makes them real on some occasions.
And combine the 2nd and 3rd NP into one.
If you have a modern servant with 3 NPs you need to reconsider them because they tend to be weaker than older ones, especially an old lady with a silly voice.
I hope the next rework contest allows me to rework Florence as an Archer and forget the try hard period back then.
Last edited by DelRey; May 26th, 2022 at 12:49 PM.
"Let's see the color of your coin, my friend."
Behold my vault of Heroes.
Where the Heavens and the Abyss breath the Music of Humanity.
The King's duty is to provide. And provide, I shall.
University of Formatting | Gallery of Potential | Memorandum of the Extra Class Kings
Our Kingdom will grow. And we shall know each citizen.
Create-a-Servant 4 soon.
Hi Delrey, thanks for your feedback. I have added the first NP into Delusion Trigger and fused NPs 2 and 3 together.Originally Posted by DelRey
Hi Royd, it basically causes everyone to think her as the best and most incredible person there. I have altered Encore and removed Riding. Thanks for your feedback!
Last edited by jishara; May 26th, 2022 at 01:08 PM.
No. I was taking a nap because I woke up at 3:20 AM and didn’t get any sleep until 10 AM. What the hell was that?
are you sure you werent sleepwalking or something?
I have only seen you accomplish the dead-on-arrival achievement here
"Let's see the color of your coin, my friend."
Behold my vault of Heroes.
Where the Heavens and the Abyss breath the Music of Humanity.
The King's duty is to provide. And provide, I shall.
University of Formatting | Gallery of Potential | Memorandum of the Extra Class Kings
Our Kingdom will grow. And we shall know each citizen.
Create-a-Servant 4 soon.
Last edited by Ismail2002; May 26th, 2022 at 05:06 PM.
[QUOTE=HumanComplex;3197487]Review for the Beast of Based Thoughts and IRL pope idol influencer group when?
Beast (Lilith-Niggurath)/QUOTE]
Thank you for the feedback. To clarify something, she views humanity with complete disgust. She doesn't hate them per se, it's more that she has an instinctual gut reaction to us the way we'd look at excrement. That said she DOES need Adam's genes to produce what she sees as "true" humanity, so she sees us as something she has to deal with since Adam is long dead. On that note, as long as her children contain hers and Adam's DNA, a little extra isn't that big a deal. So mass producing demons is fair game as long as they breed with Adam's kids. Nega-Breeder is also specifically because she's made for breeding- her womb can make children out of the DNA of anything that reproduces via sex.
The rest is pretty fair though. I was running off Nasu's in-universe hyping of true demons and outer gods, but I guess since we don't actually know much about them besides "big and scary", saying that she can make them en masse just kind of amounts to a whole lot of nothing. I think in the future if I use vague Nasu concepts like that I'll try to be more specific about what exactly their abilities are.
On a different note, I want to give feedback for other peoples' sheets since I enjoy reading the feedback on mine, but I don't know most of these figures and I'm not confident enough about writing sheets to give criticism. But I do enjoy reading them.
I have been meaning to ask for a while now, jishara, why are a lot of your Servants 170 cm tall and weigh 150 lbs? Is that like a habit for you?
If he's like me, he probably forgets to even look at it and change it between Servants.
I should honestly take those off from my sheets because your comment right now and NINE's comment on Phryne made me realize people actually look at it lol
Oh, yeah, that. I keep forgetting to actually edit it, so I generally have it at a generic height/weight duo unless there is someone that I particularly remember to change haha. I'll probably go back through and change them when I get a chance.
Ibn Khaldun: Lol, it's funny how we both use a Sinbad fc for a guy whose schtick involves absorbing gods in one way or another. I feel like this one's justification for absorbing Baal, Yaldabaoth, and Balor is kinda weak, though. I sort of get that there are parallels between his work and those three particular deities, but that alone probably shouldn't be enough for him to use those Skills, especially at rank A/A++, unless you have a lore section that really elaborates on how he came across those authorities.
Source: quinn on twitter
Class: Foreigner
Other Classes: N/A
True Name: Argos
Alignment: Neutral Good
Place of Origin: Greek Mythology
Parameters:
STR: D
END: A
AGI: D
MGI: D
LCK: C
NP: A+
Height: 168cm
Weight: 154lbs
Likes: His master, anyone who is kind to him
Dislikes: Suitors to married women
Talent: Waiting
Natural Enemy: Abigail Williams
Attribute: Sky
Traits: Male
Armament: Claws that can unswivel on his arms
Catalyst: The excerpt of the odyssey discussing him, the phrase "Man's Best Friend"
Class Skills:
Divinity B: Argos gains this high rank due to his heavy synergy with his patron god. This rank is equivalent to a top-level demigod.
Existence Outside the Domain C: Denotes the capacity to exist within Void Space. Argos is theoretically capable of existing outside of the domain well, but can't do it in practice, as his manifestation is not suited to it.
Insanity N/A: His patron god made an active effort to not drive him insane, and he naturally wasn't insane at all.
Personal Skills:
Mystic Eyes of Truth A: Granted to him due to the fact he was instantly able to realize Odysseus, under an illusion cast by the Goddess of Wisdom, was him. This enables him to see through any and all illusions ever cast. He can also project out the truth, removing illusions from the world. Due to his fusion with the Arch-Lord of Tindalos, this also enables him to create immense shadows.
Shadow Walker C-: A skill granted to him by his contract with the Arch Lord of Tindalos. It enables him to be able to walk through shadows, teleporting between shadows that have less then a 2 foot distance between the two. However, it is exhausting for him to do that, as his manifestation is not suited to it.
Name of Loyalty A+: Argos is synonymous with loyalty, and thus gains this skill. It means that no effect that will make him disloyal below the rank of A+ will be usable on him. Hense, he can't be charmed, controlled, puppeteered, or otherwise made to attack his master or his allies.
Noble Phantasm(s):
Afosiosi
I Won't Ever Fall
Type: Anti-Unit
Rank: A
Range: His vision range
Max Targets: 1
The ability granted to him via the deal with the Arch-Lord of Tindalos. It takes the form of a simple wish of his: Please, make sure I won't go to the Underworld until I see my Master one last time. Thus, it takes the form of a similar thing in this form. A passive ability that bears the simple property that Argos cannot fade away unless his Master is within his vision range. No matter how much he is injured, no matter how many instant-destroy abilities are used on him, unless an instant-death noble phantasm greater then rank A hits him, he will not fall.
Cerberus Tindalos
And The Hound Rages
Type: Anti-Army
Rank: A
Range: 200m
Max Targets: 200
An ability born of his contract with the Arch-Lord of Tindalos. This ability may be activated by him at any time. When activated, he summons a Hound of Tindalos. However, due to his personality and understanding of how they work, it has been instead shaped into an equivalent of Cerberus,the Guard of the Underworld. Despite not being in its true form, it is still an extremely powerful Divine Beast, with the ability to teleport into any shadow and having a strong bite. Its most powerful ability is a Dragon Breath, an immense howl bearing the sonic attribute.
Lore: Argos was the dog of Odysseus. What history records of him was simply an abnormally long-living dog, who was able to recognise his master even through Athena's illusions, and died from excitement after seeing him again. However, history hides something. The Arch-Lord of Tindalos made a deal with him. It allowed him to be able to recognise his master, and to never die until he is able to see his master once more. In exchange, Tindalos originally wanted to hijack Argos and transform him into one of his hounds. However, they grew a genuine friendship, so instead, he simply took his part of the deal as a single tail wag from Argos.
Personality: An extraordinarily cheerful and friendly person. He acts like a puppy, constantly wanting to befriend anyone he meets. He doesn't want to harm anyone, although he will to protect his Master if he has to. His wish for the grail is simple, to be able to grant his friend, the Arch-Lord, his own wish.
Relationships:
Viking: "Hey big bro! How are you? Are you able to keep up with your friendship network? Oh, that's great."
Ashina: "Hello! Would you like to be friends? No? That's fine. Very nice to meet you though!"
Cat servants: "Hello! Why am I struggling? Just holding back my instincts. Anyways, would you like to be friends?"
Abigail Williams: "Heya, nice to meet a fellow foreigner. Oh, are you okay?"
Creator Notes: Thanks WhiteFrenzy and Ismail for allowing me to do relationship lines with their characters Viking and Ashina.
Last edited by jishara; June 2nd, 2022 at 11:43 PM.
I was imagining him to be like belonging to the enemy at first as an alternate Foreign God Disciple in the like of Ashiya Douman. But yeah your right, I should have better elaborate on how he got them.
Ibn Khaldun absolutely doesn't need all these ungodly fusions, it honestly is a disservice to fuse him like that as a Servant. It's as if you yourself don't find Ibn Khaldun's life and work to be interesting and sufficient enough on its own. I don't mind if it's for a minor obscure figure, but it ain't it for Ibn Khaldun.
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Blindfold your eyes, so that the approaching night may strike no fear in you.
Let it not burden your soul, nor numb your strides.
I guess, Probably just my weirdly bias against the Caster class since I have so many of those and my OCD to balance things out.
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